Brenda’s Blog – December 29, 2015

“Will this be for here or to go?”

My friend stopped in a specialty bakery which features a small cafe. She picked up ten loaves of bread to be given as Christmas gifts. As she checked out, the question came to her, “Will this be for here or to go?” Think about that! She has 10 loaves of bread in her hands. How hungry could she possibly look?

When she laughed and said, “Did you really say that?” the service person merely stared at her.

How many times do we operate robotically? How often do we mechanically go through the day?

What if my friend had asked for a gallon of coffee and directions to the nearest open table? Would that have startled the cashier?

What does it take to shake us out of our automatic responses?

When I was in elementary school, we were taught “Stop, Look, and Listen” as we approached train tracks. I still do that!

In a scholarly essay, a University President pointed out we are quickly losing the art and science of listening. We reload while another speaks. We often miss the import and flow of a conversation by rotely forwarding our own points.

Trained responses are helpful. In sales much time is spent drilling on “power phrases.” Surely you have experienced the “Feel, Found, Felt” approach. But good sales people are also instructed in the power of listening.

The next time we encounter a person engrossed in a process and not personal relationship, think about my friend and her ten loaves of bread. And the next time we click our brain into neutral and utter some of our “go to phrases” without honestly listening, remember human interaction is important. A kiosk could ask her to click “here” or “to go.”

Stop, look, and listen – it matters.

Brenda’s Blog – December 15, 2015

“Speedo Repair”…

The reader board caught my eye as I traveled through Dallas. I could see the small Speedometer store on the side of the interstate, but it didn’t interest me until… I saw their brief notice.

What do you think? Was that cryptic offer to rejuvenate out of kilter speedometers? Was that a humorous double entendre crafted to get attention?

The way we talk has influence and impact. We recognize accents, styles, and word choices. We make value judgments based on the vocabulary, articulation, and expressions.

When I was young my parents taught me swearing was lazy. When someone had to resort to improper speech, and vulgarities it was because of a lack in vocabulary options. As I got older and spent time with well-educated men and women, I realized coarse speech was more than lazy – it was habitual.

Precision in speech always gets my attention. The gift of having access to exactly the right word in the right place garners admiration. One of the sadnesses of older age is the evaporation of words. I know I used to know, but now I grasp for the proper word, usually settling for the lowest common denominator.

The Bible tells us our speech has the power to heal or to hurt. In Proverbs we are told the extreme quality of “an apt word.” The picture drawn is of “apples of gold in settings of silver.” That puts encouraging words in rarified air, doesn’t it?

Words are the way we connect ideas to action. Words are the bridges from one to another. Words matter.

Brenda’s Blog – December 1, 2015

“The cross is the attraction.”

Amy Carmichael was a missionary to India in the early 1900s. Her work at Dohnavur with endangered girls and boys still impacts the world today. When people wrote asking to come join the work she asked a series of questions. Here are a few:

1) Do you truly desire to live a crucified life?

2) Does the thought of hardness draw you or repel you?

3) Apart from the Bible can you name three or four books which have been of vital help to you?

4) Have you ever had opportunity to prove our Lord’s promise to supply temporal as well as spiritual needs?

5) Can you mention any experience you have passed through in your Christ life which brought you into a new discovery of your union with the crucified, risen, and enthroned Lord?

As we start looking back over the year, perhaps we can think deeply about these questions. They challenged me to my core. What does being a follower of Jesus truly mean? How can I live this out in Texas, not India?

The Lord called Amy to a life singularly focused. Maybe our callings are not quite as lasered, but they are indeed designed for us to live in order to “glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”

Brenda’s Blog – November 17, 2015

“Do you ever get lonely?”

My sweet daughter-in-law’s question was lovingly and tentatively asked. She didn’t want to intrude, but she wanted to check on me.
“Of course, I do.”

How would you answer that question? Probably in the affirmative, for loneliness is part of the human condition. The real question is: “What do you do when you get lonely?” or “When do you feel loneliest?”

A sociological study titled “The Lonely Crowd” spoke to us of human disconnection. I spent two days this week on a college campus celebrating the opening of the Bob Briner School of Business. The speakers excellently and pointedly addressed the students on leadership, character, and even job seeking skills. No matter what the topic, each one addressed the issue of virtual friendships and the need for true human interaction.

We can’t be fully human if the majority of our relationships begin and end on an electronic device. Eye contact becomes “I” contact. Warm greetings and handshakes are traded for emoticons and abbreviations.

USA Today featured an article on prisoners who are held in solitary confinement and the outcome of their lives after release. Of nine studied, all nine returned to prison. Extended solitary existence doesn’t mesh well with communal communication.

But we can be in a shoulder-to-shoulder room, flanked by laughing people and broad smiles, yet still be lonely. We need connection to quell those pockets of longing. How do we do that?

When you are in a strange environment, do you think about your own comfort, or seek to alleviate the anxiety of someone else you notice? What words do you prepare to initiate conversations? What heart and mind sets are established before you enter into these situations?

Yes, precious daughter-in-law I get lonely… I get scared… I get eager to run away, but when I accept my role as a transmitter of God’s grace to others, it gets easier. When I “turn my eyes on Jesus,” the pangs subside… some. There will always be times when the desire to feel fully accepted, included, and integrated will rise up. But when I think of those who need a word of encouragement, a hug, or just a smile, I understand how my loneliness can be converted into loveliness.

Brenda’s Blog – November 3, 2015

“Why are all those trees sitting out there in the field?”

Driving through rural America, I could see miles and miles of farmland. “America the Beautiful” always comes to mind. As I topped a rise, I noticed a strange grove of tall evergreens, flanked by smaller trees, and then a hedge of shrubs. It looked out of place among the crops.

I approached the area and saw the house nestled among this great wall of greenery. This was not a random planting, but a purposeful grouping of trees creating a windbreak and protection for the house. The wind which blew across the fields had nothing to stop its impact unless a natural wall existed.

The residents of this house wisely constructed a shield against the weather.

I started thinking about the need for emotional, professional, and relational windbreaks. We are vulnerable to the ravages of negativity, misunderstanding, and hostility. We are open to those who accost us. What can we do? How can we help others? By building windbreaks!

How do we do that? By being firmly grounded in the knowledge of ourselves and the knowledge of God. Scripture warns us against being people who are blown by every wind – this way and that. We need to have our values, our character, and our strengths well in hand. When the blustery environment challenges us, we should be like Martin Luther: “Here I stand, I can do no other.” This doesn’t mean we are stubborn, intransigent, and “ornery.” It means we know who we are and are willing to hold because we know how we best make our unique contribution.

And then, we must know who God is. What is His character? What is His message to us? How can we appropriate His grace and mercy? When the storms come, we can be assured of His presence and His care. It doesn’t mean the weather doesn’t get bad – it just means we have a Divine Windbreak.

Brenda’s Blog – October 20, 2015

“The mountains spoil the view.”

Years ago I traveled frequently to the Pacific Northwest. Flying into Portland thrilled me. Leaving the mountains behind made me sigh. On one trip back to Iowa, I sat next to a farmer from Nebraska. As a plane chit-chatter, I said, “Don’t you love seeing the mountains?” “No, I don’t. The mountains block the view.” I was stunned. THE MOUNTAINS WERE THE VIEW! He went on to explain he could step out on his Nebraska porch and see for miles and miles – that was the view he loved.

I realized much of life is based on our own perspective, and experiences. I treasured the majesty of mountains; he resented the way they limited his sight line. For me to establish my preference as the rule would damage any further conversation.

In the last few weeks a dear friend and I traveled through New Mexico, Colorado, and Texas. I eagerly anticipated the ride on the Durango to Silverton narrow gauge steam railroad. The ride through the mountain passes and along the Animas River excited me. My sweet friend politely expressed appreciation for the beauty of the turning leaves, and the mighty rock walls… but with polite reservation.

There were times when the granite cliffs were so close we could literally reach out of the open observation car and touch the rocks. I must admit my breaths were shortened by the altitude and the closed in pathway.

We descended from the heights of Silverton into the open meadows around Durango. “I love this,” was her response as she took a deep breath. To me, it was just high altitude flat lands. To her, it was a place she could finally see the view.

In the next few days we traveled through stark New Mexico into Santa Fe, and finally into Amarillo, TX. “Now, this is what I like!” REALLY? Except for the Cadillac Ranch on I-40 outside town, and the enormous roadside cross, I missed the beauty she saw.

Personality preferences are real. Different perceptions exist. When we only see life through our own framework, we miss so much. My friend taught me to look at acres of Texas Panhandle land with new eyes… and appreciate it greatly. I still love the grandeur of the peaks, but the wideness of the prairie now brings a smile.

Brenda’s Blog – October 6, 2015

“Resurrect!”

My 14 year old grandson and I are reenactors with Neeley’s Roughnecks, an artillery unit. The battle of Elkhorn Tavern (or Pea Ridge) resulted in the loss of nearly 4,000 lives. Men (and women) fought and died on that rolling farmland in Northwestern Arkansas.

This weekend we shared the experience with hundreds of others. Rarely are the guns overrun. The artillery generally stands strong, firing until the end of the battle. However, this time the infantry fell back, leaving the cannons vulnerable. We fought with our implements but were overcome. We fell to the ground by the guns.

“How long do we have to be dead?” was the question I heard from someone nearby. “Until the battle is over” came back the answer.

Finally, the commanding general shouted, “RESURRECT!” At this point we all rose to our feet, shook hands, and packed up to go back to our urban environments.

I could not avoid thinking about the symbolism and the application to our lives. We are all in a battle, aren’t we? Sometimes we win the skirmishes and sometimes we lose. But the battle goes on.

At some point the general will shout throughout all creation, “RESURRECT!” The dead will rise and those who are still living will join them in the air. What an exciting thought.

Applying this to our daily lives makes us think about relationships we have. Aren’t there some which seem to be dead, but can be revived? Aren’t there friends, children, grandchildren, who seem to be dead in sin but hopefully will hear the voice of the Master calling them to life? What about our hard hearts? We may feel dead, but there is life everlasting which is available to us.

Let’s stay in the battle, but let’s know the call is on the horizon – RESURRECTION DAY IS COMING!

Brenda’s Blog- September 8, 2015

“And miles to go before I sleep; and miles to go before I sleep.” – Robert Frost

Frost’ poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowing Evening is one of America’s favorites. The imagery stimulates our imagination. The poignant words evoke a variety of emotions.

Of course, reflection on the road not taken has been translated by Scott Peck into “the road less traveled.” Sermons, commencement addresses, pre-game pep talks, and parental admonitions have all alluded to the opportunities of life and making good choices.

But is the road not taken always a negative? I think not. Certainly not as poetic, but surely as true is the title of the country western ballad, “Thank God For Unanswered Prayer.” The road not taken and the prayer unanswered can be a source of tremendous gratitude.

One of the distinct advantages of quickly approaching the 3/4 century mark is reflection. Remembering choices, good and bad; reliving experiences, good and bad; rehashing conversations, good and bad – all part of the reflective process. Usually my conclusion is gratitude for those roads I didn’t take and for those prayers God answered with a “no.”

Seeing His hand of protection when my senses took a temporary vacation humbles me. When I recognize the learning through difficulties and problems I am grateful growth is a process.

Walks through woods on snowy evenings are rare in East Texas, but we can still enjoy the solitude of pine trees, white-tipped or not. Looking up at the trees puts life into perspective. Musing about what they have seen, give me a longer view. The music of the trees would thrill Sondheim.

Many times I have quoted the “miles to go” with a sigh and a shrug. Today I realize what a gift those miles are. The experiences they represent will provide fodder for future reflection. Undoubtedly those miles will include some missteps, but they will also allow for unspeakable joys. I am thankful that there are miles to go before that last sleep. And I am most appreciative for those roads not taken.

Brenda’s Blog – August 25, 2015

“Here, son, let me help.”

Our community pool requires a shower before entering. The apparatus to start the water flow is quite hard to push.

The other day I watched with interest as a strong-willed young one reached up to depress the button, but without much success. Quietly, his father walked over, offered help, and then placed his large hand lightly over his son’s. Together they showered.

It hit me how many times we can either be the giver or receiver of help. But too many times we either stubbornly refuse, or fail to acknowledge the need. Seeing the partnership between father and son reminded me how important community is – for organizations, families, friendships, and faith.

And sometimes those “showers of blessing” we desire come after we work together combining strengths. One man (or woman) bands are comical and enjoyable, to a point. But no one expects great music from them. Amidst the clanging, yapping, and tooting, melodies do arise, but seldom would you confuse them for a symphony orchestra!

When we are assigned a task, or volunteer for a job, we must keep our options open for enlisting aid and assistance. Often the accomplishment occurs because someone graciously says, “Here, son (daughter), let me help.”

And on the other hand, we must always be aware of situations which would benefit from an offer of help – without creating an overbearing atmosphere of criticism. Discerning the right time and the right word is the key to effective relationships and leadership. The advancement of aid should never be seen as a statement of the other’s ineptitude.

Community is the interweaving of many hands to accomplish one purpose.

Brenda’s Blog – August 11, 2015

“Gather up the broken pieces that are left over, so that nothing is wasted.” (John 6:12)

Jesus feeds five thousand people then instructs the disciples to pick up the leftovers. They gleaned 12 basketsful.

Why should this interest us? We usually focus on the magnitude of turning four small biscuits and two sardines into an ample feast. But isn’t there more to learn?

Those snatches of time can be thrown away easily. Those smidgens of energy can be wasted. But think of the possibilities. I have a friend who studies scripture on flash cards as she sits in carpool line. Others (who are way more fit than I) grab moments to do leg lifts, jumping jacks, or deep breathing exercises.

A successful salesperson keeps notepaper with stamped envelopes close by in the car. Yes, there are some who actually send handwritten notes. Those little pieces of time allow her to keep in touch in a most personal way.
My Dad used to clip newspaper articles, apply a sticky note with “Thought you’d be interested” and then send off to friends. He used extra minutes to stay in touch.

I am not recommending a frenetic, “use-every-minute-” lifestyle. But I do think there are baskets left uncollected which may be used for the benefit of others.

The Bible tells us to “redeem the time.” To me, this means adopting an attitude of stewardship which takes into account all of our resources: time, talent, and treasure. To live redemptively we lay each day before the Lord asking for the best use of ourselves.

Practically, when we take that extra minute to throw something into the wash, put a file away, kiss that grandchild, or make that quick phone call we are good stewards of those extra baskets.

I want to think constructively about making the most of everything I am given. I want to see God’s big miracles, but I want to be ever aware of those important leftovers.