Weekly Thought – January 19, 2021

Fred valued self-control and discipline in others. He also demonstrated what these qualities looked like for he committed much thought, prayer, and effort to growing into a man of character. He spoke of his younger years when anger often flared and his determination to “leash” it. True to his nature, he spent hours analyzing the subject and processing. This week’s thought is a peek into his thinking about anger.

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A Leash For Anger

I think of “leashing” our anger, because I don’t believe it is possible to live without anger. It is a cat with way more than nine lives. It can only be controlled. It is part of our human nature. We are angered both by others and even by ourself.

One of the dangers of anger is the misconception that two wrongs make a right when we are under its influence. We get lost in the wrong thinking about revenge, thinking getting even is possible, and maybe preferable. Have you ever tried to recognize when you drop into a “mad?” Here is one clue: when we start immediately thinking of something bad to do – then enjoying the thought of the other’s suffering we are in trouble. The idea of righteous satisfaction in retribution signifies unleashed anger.

There are two emotions we call anger: 1) mad and 2) righteous indignation( a phrase given to us by theologians). There is a significant difference. When we are angered by what angers God we are righteously indignant. There are two clearly different spirits in these emotions. Once we take our stand in righteous indignation we are to hold that position. We are to stand for the right, win or lose. The real discipline is to hold to the righteous and not slip into self-righteous.

Mad anger comes from loss of personal power – not being able to force our will on the situation. The desire to get even with those who hurt us is present, especially when we feel stopped in our ability to get even. Mad anger retaliates “I’m not going to take it!” When someone insults us, talks down, or does something spiteful we get mad and seek revenge. But scripture is crystal clear: “Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. I will repay.” We have trouble waiting for Him. This is when I need a check. The more I want to take matters into my own hands, the more I know I am vengeful and not waiting for God.

We are told “don’t let the sun go down on our wrath (or mad anger). It is an acid which burns in the night. We are to purge it before we sleep and not let it settle into the value structure of our subconscious, When we do this we can start each day with refreshed souls. The rancor of yesterday has not festered overnight.

To keep this from happening means we take the offensive in settling the conflict. Though we are mad, we should never be so mad we cut off communication with another person. He/she is still a person for whom Christ died, as am I. I am to be willing to forgive, forget, and hope that he is, too. I will even make the first approach, if necessary. With our anger leashed, we can control it. Self-control gives us freedom, maturity, and joy.

This week consider carefully: 1) How strong is my leash on anger? 2) What causes me to get mad? 3) When do I successfully recognize the difference between mad and righteous indignation?

Words of Wisdom: “We are to stand for the right, win or lose. The real discipline is to hold to the righteous and not slip into self-righteous.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 29, 2020

Fred managed his emotions objectively. However, he acknowledged the dark times. He created operating principles for depression. In his later years he was on dialysis three times a week, confined to a bed, and greatly restricted. He experienced the benefit years of mental and emotional discipline provided. These thoughts are particularly applicable for today. An editorial note: Fred wasn’t addressing clinical depression which requires serious professional attention.

Climbing Out of the Dumps

Very few of us totally escape depression. For some, it is the blues. For others, the blahs. Some wander aimlessly suffering boredom while excessive sleeping, eating, or drinking provide ways of dealing. In depression we may get moody and generally unhappy, or even angry enough to strike out at someone we love. These, and many other manifestations, are fruit of the depression tree. If the problem gets too large to handle personally, then we need professional help. But let’s just talk about ways we can help ourselves by establishing a routine to follow. I want to focus on one part of this routine: activity.

Denial isn’t the answer. Pity those who escape into frenzied, though fake, enthusiasm screaming about how well they feel and how happy they are. One man I knew had his brain and mouth on automatic response when asked, “How are you?” “GREAT! If I felt any better I would have to see a doctor!” That was not only a shallow, but nonsensical answer. It is sad to see someone create such a façade that hides all true feelings, just for the sake of self-image. Fake feelings usually lead to failure.

It is so much better when we respect others’ concern we can answer honestly, “Things are so-so right now, but I have felt this way before and I will get over it.” We know others are prepared to hear the details of our most intimate ups and downs, or want a long discourse on all variations of our emotional life, but most care and understand enough for us to give them a brief, honest answer.

Mild depressions come from time to time and therefore, we need a procedure for handling them. First for me is to get busy physically – doing something is better than doing nothing. Often it is better to do something physical which gives us quick results. The accomplishment helps lift the weight. The activity opens the door for hope. While it’s tough to find someone to play tennis at 3 AM, or it is discourteous to run the power saw, there are all-night restaurants where you can go and watch fascinating people. Occasionally, when I am down I find a place where observing the night owls helps me wipe away the night sweats.

The secret is to act immediately before the desire to be miserable gets concretized. If we wait too long this desire starts looking sensible. Beware of building a case for sympathy which we think is totally deserved. I don’t know why we like to be miserable sometimes, but I am convinced we do. Maybe we just want a change in our routine. Or think of the poor fellow who kept hitting himself because it felt so good when he stopped. I once knew a creative type who actually worked at making himself miserable before starting to write. He believed misery energized his creative juices.

Physical activity is just one aspect of the program, but I do believe it is key. Inactivity makes us more self- oriented and introspective – which is exactly what we don’t need. For me it is “Get Busy.”

This week think carefully about: 1) What is my routine for handling the down times? 2) How well do I manage emotional ups and downs? 3) When am I most vulnerable to depression??

Words of Wisdom: “Fake feelings lead to failure.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore, get your minds ready for action by being fully sober, and set your hope completely on the grace that will be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 22, 2020

Fred spoke often of disciplines for successful living. He considered the cultivation of habits a necessary practice for maturity. He strongly encouraged those around him to initiate systems of disciplined thinking which resulted in disciplined actions. In 1961 he was the keynote speaker for a Printing Industry of America national conference. This week’s email is excerpted from that address.

The Value of Good Habits

Nearly everything you have done today has been habitual. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have made it through the day. Good habits save time and energy. The Lord created our bodies to do things which habitually which keep us alive. If we had to decide to breathe each time our life span would probably be much shorter.

This is one of the problems with industrial reorganization. The habit structure is upset and operations slow down tremendously. It takes time to rebuild habits.

Here are some good habits to cultivate in your business:

1) Create a spirit in your organization that accepts challenges. Don’t allow people to get in the pattern of telling you why things cannot be done. When they begin, respond with “I know that. Tell me what we need to change in order to get it done.”

2) Change is okay; status quo is not. You know status quo is Latin for “the mess we are in.”

3) Accept ideas. As the leader you must engage with and incorporate new ideas before the organization will.

4) Don’t delay failures.

5) Get management on the offense. How many times do you see management fighting back instead of leading?

6) Develop the habit of good work. The President of one of my client companies told me, “Fred, I want everyone in my organization to step back from a completed task and say, ‘That’s good.’” Recently a 12 year old boy was recognized for saving his baby sister from a house fire using techniques learned in Boy Scouts. When asked about his actions he confidently responded, “I did a good job.”

7) Examine the things you are proud of. You have to watch this one carefully. The other day I was meeting with a company. When they outlined their accomplishments we examined them and found that many of them should have stopped long ago. Because they were proud of them they continued even after they had outlived their effectiveness.

8) Work smarter rather than harder. It is a mistake to applaud the efforts of someone for simply working harder. My mentor Maxey Jarman told me as a young executive “Show me the baby, don’t tell me about the labor pains.”

I know I haven’t told you anything you don’t already know. My job isn’t to tell you something new; my job is to remind you. I hope during this time together I have reminded you good habits are a key to successful living. Find one that works for you and make it real in your organization, your family, and your community.

This week think about: 1) Which of these 8 was the most helpful reminder? 2) How serious am I about establishing good habits even if that process causes some temporary disequilibrium? 3) Who can I help by sharing Fred’s ideas?

Words of Wisdom: “Good habits save time and energy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For you know yourselves how you must imitate us, because we did not behave without discipline among you.” (2 Thessalonians 3:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 1, 2020

Fred’s reputation for asking questions developed a strong following among those who wanted to acquire this skill. In various situations he formulated a series of questions he asked himself and others. This excerpt specifically addresses a way to look at difficult times.

Question Me This

Major trouble challenges our priorities. It also revises, and I might even say, purifies. We decide what really matters. Trouble also gives us an opportunity to look at the situation realistically and assess the odds. A friend, when faced with leukemia said, “I had always believed in God but for most of my life I couldn’t make sense of spiritual things, so I chose to just ignore the subject. I knew I would have to deal with my personal spirituality someday, but I wasn’t in any hurry to get around to it. Cancer changed that.” Often we see people who say, “After I get rich, I’ll get righteous.” This is the deception of money: it can distract us from what really matters. Instead of being a means – it becomes the end. Trouble can alter that perception in a hurry.

Major difficulties make us distill the essence of life in at least three basic ways spurring us to ask three questions:

1) What are my genuine necessities? So much of our time and effort is spent (or wasted)on the superficialities of life.
2) We ask ourselves “who am I becoming.” I once asked a man if he is becoming who he wanted to be. His answer: “Oh, no, but I intend to – someday.”
3) How do I want to be remembered? We see wealthy donors who want names on buildings; politicians who desire an historical legacy; and parents who want children who walk in faith. I am reminded of Fannie Crosby, the blind hymnist who wrote thousands of well-known and loved hymns. Her tombstone carries the simple epitaph: “Aunt Fannie: she did what she could.”

When we have answered these three questions we know how to spend out time, energy, and resources. The answers build a framework for prioritizing (and often re-prioritizing). We are stewards of our gifts and talents. Good management requires periodic assessment to make sure we are making the “highest and best” use of them.

At the beginning of the dark financial days of the 1980s a socially prominent couple came to see me. They told of sitting down and making a list of people with whom they spent time. Then they went back and made a second list of those who would be their friends if they went broke. This list was considerably shorter than the first. They went on to say they rearranged their social schedule to spend time with the second group.

Troubled times clarify. They prompt us to do a personal inventory and answer tough, but important questions.

This week carefully consider: 1) What am I learning during this challenging time? 2) Which question most quickly gets my attention? 3) How am I taking a personal inventory right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Major difficulties make us distill the essence of life spurring us to ask questions.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)