Asking About Ethics

Weekly Thought – October 22, 2019

Fred’s ability to ask probing questions enabled him to effectively mentor others. He also used this technique to measure his own progress. Strength of character was his hallmark. When he assessed others as business associates, integrity was the first consideration. Someone asked him how he knew he still had self-respect. “When I wake up in the middle of the night and try to talk to the little boy who lives inside who knows right and wrong, black and white, and he tells me to get lost, I know I have lost my self-respect. When he and I have a good conversation and he says, ‘You’re doing fine’ I can go back to sleep.”

Asking About Ethics

My only reason to speak is to change attitudes and behavior, both those of the audience and mine. One of the questions I like to ask is: “What is the strength of your ethics?” Let me give four questions:

1) Are you using a scriptural or a secular base? God’s law or man’s law? J.C. Penney said, “I shall not be judged by the Heavenly Father according to what I do now, by the material success I achieve. I shall be judged by the honesty of my purpose and by the spirit with which I pursue life’s duties.” He saw work as worship; he had a scriptural base.

2) Do our ethics promote our self-respect? Solzhenitsyn heard that the Dean of Canterbury was friendly to communism. He responded when he heard the man had commented “Better Red than dead,” “Better dead than a scoundrel.”

3) Does our ethical base emphasize our responsibilities or our rights? I have noticed that any individual, organization or society that emphasizes its rights is constantly in conflict with others. Responsibilities have a way of overlapping and forming a bond; rights always clash together. Those who emphasize their rights eventually become paranoid which grows into an unrealistic level of conflict. Oftentimes, their philosophy turns into “the end justifies the means.” This is immoral and cannot coexist with moral ethics.

4) What is the effect of your ethical base on the development of your character? In a conversation with a middle-aged executive I learned his fast progress up the ladder left him uneasy and dissatisfied. “Fred, I’m really not happy with who I am becoming. I’m not a better husband, a better father, a better citizen, or even a better person. I’m successful, but I’ve become phony.” Character is an inside job, and it is largely determined by the succession of choices, desires, habits, and beliefs we inculcate and personify.

Let me ask you three serious questions to contemplate: 1) Am I happy with who I am becoming? 2) Are my ethics on a firm foundation? 3 Will my anchor of ethics hold in the tempest of temptation?

Making sure of ethical mile markers is an exercise before engaging in any enterprise. Waiting until the action has begun is too late. The lines must be drawn way before day one.

This week think about: 1) How clear are my ethical standards to myself, my family, and my workplace? 2) Where are my soft spots? 3) Who serves as an accountability partner for me?

Words of Wisdom: Emphasizing responsibilities creates a bond; demanding rights separates.

Wisdom from the Word: “Yes, your servant finds moral guidance there; those who obey them receive a rich reward.” (Psalm 19:11 NET Bible)

Ministry of Ushering

Weekly Thought – October 15, 2019

Fred thoroughly enjoyed being a substitute teacher at the Elliott Class (Highland Park Presbyterian Church, Dallas). His influence in that class continues even years after his death. He dedicated himself to preparation for these lessons. And time the class members commented on the way he stretched them.

Ministry of Ushering

The President of this class also serves as the Head Usher. In a recent time together I asked him, “What does it take to be a good usher?” “The first thing is you’ve got to love Jesus Christ with all your heart… so much so that it comes through in your enthusiasm and warmth.”

I have to admit, that wasn’t one of the first things I thought about. In fact, in my own upbringing I surmised there was a bidding system for the center aisle on Sunday mornings which usually went to people who sold insurance or cars and wanted to give themselves an honest name. I thought you had to have a dark suit, and a lapel wide enough for the carnation, too. In fact, I figured those who didn’t really want to be in the work of the church volunteered for church work. And I must confess, in my experience, it gave the advantage of stepping out for a smoke between passing the plate and sitting down. His quick response certainly brought me up short.

Then in typical Smith fashion I started thinking about the potential in the ministry of ushering. It is an exercise of the gift of hospitality. And there are others, as well, which relate to the functions of the church.

1) Many come to the church as if it were a hospital. They might be dressed in designer outfits and not hospital gowns, but they hurt just the same. Who is in a better position to recognize the hurting than the first contact?

2) Some come through the doors who are spiritual lost, without a relationship with God through Jesus. They have not had a new birth experience. Others are believers but are still lost, having wandered off from the Shepherd.

3) Most attending formal services want a reverent atmosphere. Even though I have friends who claim to worship more fully on the golf course or in a boat on the lake, many still find a sense of communing with God in a corporate environment… a “time and place” format for worship. The mode of physical gathering changes, but the idea of bringing honor and glory to God doesn’t. The idea of reverential awe still exists and the ushers are the very first ones to set the tone.

My friend’s comment about warmth and enthusiasm emanating from a love of Jesus Christ is truly the bedrock. The ushers are the very first handshake, greeting, and contact. They serve well as ministers of grace and hospitality.

This week think about: 1) How often do I consider the ministry of my church ushers? 2) What spurs me to notice those who need a friendly word? 3) Who sets an example in my church and how can I express appreciation?

Words of Wisdom: “Ushering is an exercise in the gift of hospitality.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Contribute to the needs of the saints, pursue hospitality.” (Romans 12:13 NET Bible)

Confrontation is a Responsibility

Weekly Thought – October 8, 2019

Fred believed in maturity. Despite his reputation, Fred did not relish confrontation, but he knew it was part of growth. In typical Fred fashion, he did a great deal of thinking on the subject. This excerpt from musings and notes highlights his process.

Please pray as BWFLI continues deepening relationships with students, faculty, and administrators. Watching them navigate the challenges with faith excites us. Recent articles trumpeting the lack of faith, decline in belief, and evaporation of hope emphasize the importance of the relationship between Christian laymen and the schools.

Confrontation is a Responsibility

Control of confrontation is important. Too often it is seen as a loaded gun open on the desk. That is a faulty way of thinking – and using – it.

It is a very purposeful tool, and I like to think of two basic types:

1) In a work environment between employer and employee

2) In a personal environment between friends or family

In the first one, you deal primarily with the facts of the case. It usually includes “this is the failure – here is why it is unacceptable.” Creating a strategy to rectify the situation is part of the outcome. It is a formal process.

The second involves feelings, motivations, and deep sources that require careful handling.

Confrontation requires a correct environment. It is very important the other person hears what you are saying. And not only what you’re saying, but why you are saying it. For that you have to go below the surface by asking questions.

In the personal confrontation I have found taking a “third party persona” works well. For example, I tell the story of somebody else who had a similar problem. I may not even mention the offense in the story. As it unfolds it is not unusual for the person to say, “You know, that is pretty close to my situation.” The opening up of the problematic situation permits the conversation to move ahead. I know the parallel in the stories but I do not create a scenario that manipulates the situation. And I am careful to never confront anybody with anything that they can’t change.

In confrontation it is not necessary to take the position that it is the immovable hitting the unstoppable. I like to think sometimes it is like running along and jumping on like you would a San Francisco trolley car. But you have to have the right environment for this to happen.

1) You have to have the right motive. Itching for a fight is not the way. It is always to enable the other person to grow, never to humiliate them. Accomplishment is the goal.

2) You have to have the right modus operandi (MO). I am careful about confronting anyone in business or the family before others. Correction is private. These conversations need to be respectful, even in the most difficult circumstances.

3) You have to have the right follow-up. Many times the right follow-up is no follow-up. I don’t want the person to give me blame or credit for the steps taken afterward.

This week think about: 1) How careful am I about confrontation? 2) Who models this skill well? 3) What situation am I facing right now?

Words of Wisdom: “In confrontation it is not necessary to take the position that it is the immovable hitting the unstoppable.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who refuses correction despises himself, but whoever hears reproof acquires understanding.” (Proverbs 15:32 NET Bible)

A Leash for Anger

Weekly Thought – October 1, 2019

Fred admitted an intentional effort to handle anger. He spoke of bridling bad temper and diverting the energy into a positive, productive direction. He helped many honestly confront their struggles.

Fred’s son and namesake has a new book titled Where The Light Divides. This “collection of essays on the life of faith” allows the reader to glimpse life through his eyes. It is now available on Amazon.com

Thank you for praying as the work continues. Please lift up our Christian colleges and universities. They stand strong in the midst of cultural disturbances and turmoil.

A Leash for Anger

I say a leash for I don’t believe it is possible to live without anger. Anger is a cat which far exceeds its nine lives. It can only be controlled. Just the presence of human beings assumes the reality of anger.

Anger can be dangerous when we begin thinking “two wrongs make a right.” Slipping into the thought that we can get even is foolishness. It is easy to recognize a “mad” in ourselves and others when ideas of retribution arise. Our litany of bad wishes even draws God into the mix by wishing lightning would strike!

I believe there are two emotions we label anger: 1) mad and 2) righteous indignation. The difference is crucial. The spirit which generates the emotion differs. Mad is self-centered and comes from the loss of personal power and the inability to force our will. Righteous indignation is being angry with what makes God angry. The desired outcome of one is retaliation; the other is willingness to stand even to martyrdom for the glory and honor of God.

“Mad” results from personal demeaning. For example, when someone insults, insults, assumes, or spites us. We want to fire back to defend and protect ourselves. It is all about our own ego. We seek to avenge the disdain. As Christians we know this is sin. “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” But it is often hard to wait for Him. And what if He forgives and expects that from us? What if I deserved what I am getting? The more I dwell on it, the deeper I fall into the desire for revenge and “getting them back.”

Scripture tells us to “not let the sun go down on our anger.” This makes great sense. My friends at Mayo Clinic tell me anger churns up acid. Many stomach ailments occur with persistent anger. God gave us a remedy. We are to purge it before we sleep and not let it settle into the value structure of our subconscious. This way we start each new day with our souls fresh. The rancor of yesterday has not festered overnight.

I must always be the one to take the offensive in settling the matter. I must remember Christ died for the other person, as He did for me. I must maintain the spirit of forgiveness. A leash on anger is a worthy goal and an excellent exercise in spiritual maturity.

This week think about: 1) How do I handle my anger? 2) What sets me off? 3) When do I find myself getting angry?

Words of Wisdom: “We are to purge it before we sleep and not let it settle into the value structure of our subconscious.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26 NET Bible)

Learning from Others

Weekly Thought – September 24, 2019

Fred thought… and thought… and thought. And as he thought he scribbled down notes (thousands are still extant in daughter Brenda’s garage files.) He fed on the writings of those who deeply considered life.

Thank you for the ongoing support of BWF and BWFLI. Each week messages arrive applying Fred’s wisdom. How strengthening it is to hear from you all.

Learning from Others

I enjoy contemplation. It is a solo experience between God and me. Often it occurs in the wee hours of the morning when I come face to face with myself. Some of these sessions go well – others leave me in agreement with God I have been shortcutting.

I also enjoy meditation. The distinction for me is that I see this as a guided study using the help of others who have walked closely and faithfully with God. I look at their writings to find principles which enhance my appreciation of the spiritual experience.

Let me share just a few examples of those who help me drive my spiritual roots down deeper where the drought cannot wither, unlike grass with shallow roots which die in the heat. I can honestly tell you they help me withstand the pressure of external circumstances.

1) Augustine – “Love God and do what you will.” The freedom of obedience. My friend Steve Brown keeps the message of liberty in Christ before me.

2) Francis of Assisi- “It is not so important that I be loved as that I love.” Jesus said we would be known by our love not of ourselves, but of one another.

3) Chambers – “Sit loose to things.” At this age I can look back on sudden losses which would bring devastation without this principle as foundational. Things should never define our lives. Chambers also imprinted another: “God isn’t interested in my success, He is interested in my maturity.”

4) Kelley – “Develop a quiet center in your life.” There must be a place where storms do not hit. We must have a gyroscopic center from which the other instruments get their orientation.

5) Tozer – “My flame may be small, but it is real.” Spiritual growth starts with reality.

6) Brother Lawrence – “Dishwashing is just as sacred as prayer.” He emphasized to me the “practice of the presence of God.”

The joy of contemplation is a necessary part of internal strength. The mutuality of meditation allows me to walk with the old saints. When I add these two elements to prayer, scripture, and fellowship I build a healthy system for a life of devotion.

This week think about: 1) How do I define a devotional life?2) Who have been my meditational teachers? 3) Which of these principles strikes home?

Words of Wisdom: “There must be a place where storms do not hit.”

Wisdom from the Word: “We proclaim him by instructing and teaching all people with all wisdom so that we may present every person mature in Christ.” (Colossians 1:28 NET Bible)

Listing Assets

Weekly Thought – September 17, 2019

Fred’s capacity for gratitude was well known among his friends and family. He believed in the power of appreciation. And he sincerely believed he had nothing that he had not been given by God. He saw himself as a steward and managed well.

Work continues on the What’s Next Roundtable at Palm Beach Atlantic University in November. Financial support is needed and would be received with genuine gratitude. The men and women who are preparing for this event eagerly expect to see what God has in mind for them and the students.

Listing Assets

A well-known woman of international fame called me one day and said soberly, “Fred, I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer.” My immediate response, “List your assets.” When people come to me wanting to talk about their problems this is the exercise I recommend.

Invariably, they start with their financial resources. They rarely think of their spiritual assets at first. For example, a troubled man walked into my office. I asked him to list his assets. “Well, I have a bank account, but there isn’t much in it. I have a little equity in my home.” After a few items like this, I said, “Let’s stop and go back a little bit. Are you alive?”

“Well, yes…” “Good, you look that way to me and some people, especially those in the ICUs and the terminally ill think of that as a strong asset.” I continued, “You’re healthy?” “Yeah.” “You have a loving wife and a good family?” “Yes.”

As we sat there I queried “Do you have an education?” “Of course.” “How about work experience?” “Yes.”

“Okay, now that we have established the major assets, we can look at the minor ones like money.”

When I sit with someone and see a breakthrough in a session like this I know we have a gratitude foundation from which to operate. We can start attacking their problems with a different perspective. If they answer the first questions with a “yes, but…” I know my job isn’t finished yet. They still haven’t grasped the power of gratitude. They are still not grateful.

They are still wanting something more. Gratitude is being grateful for what you have, not for what you hope to get. I was reading in the Psalms and it said to honor God for what He has done. It doesn’t say honor Him for what He is going to do. Gratitude, like honor, is a reaction to what is, not what you want to come.

In my reading I found a study saying gratitude is the emotion with the longest shelf life… that those with a grateful spirit are prone to better mental health. The old hymnist never read this study, but certainly expressed in the words, “Count your blessings, name them one by one… count your blessings, see what God has done.”

Being truly grateful is more than just a courteous “thank you.” Nurturing a mature attitude which demonstrates appreciation is a healthy exercise.

This week think about: 1) How healthy is my grateful spirit? 2) Who needs to hear from me with a message of appreciation? 3) What can I do to cultivate a culture of gratitude at work, in my family?

Words of Wisdom: “Gratitude, like honor, is a reaction to what is, not what you want to come.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The LORD strengthens and protects me; I trust in him with all my heart. I am rescued and my heart is full of joy; I will sing to him in gratitude.” (Psalm 28:7 NET Bible)

Permitting Success

Weekly Thought – September 10, 2019

Fred fielded the question “how do you define success” often. He surprised many when he did not limit it to financial accumulation. He challenged the questioner to look at the full range. And he pushed them to expand their own expectations. One of his favorite definitions: “The measurement of success is simply the ratio of talents used to talents received.”

Please pray for our Christian colleges and universities. In these opening days of the new semester many are welcoming new Presidents, new students, and new campus themes. They need our prayers. If you would like to pray monthly for them sign up for the Prayer Network email which leads in prayer requests and a Biblical exhortation.

Permitting Success

Giving permission to others to succeed is more than encouragement. I believe only a person in authority can give convincing permission. Encouragement can come from a wide group of sources; permission to succeed comes from an authority figure – parent, boss, pastor, mentor, for example. Such permission dispels doubt and gives assurance.

Many years ago I spoke at Baylor University and met a young woman with unusual character and ability. Toward the end of my stay I told her, “I believe you can do almost anything you want to do.” She became a missionary.

Thirty years later she called me. “I’m back in the States,” she said, “and I want you to know when the going really got rough in Japan, I would say to myself, “I know there’s a fat businessman back in the States who believes in me.” She continued, “that sustained me many times – just hearing your belief.”

All I had said was one simple sentence. The difference is that it was more than encouragement because she saw me as a business leader, an authority figure. She accepted my words as permission to succeed.

Experiences like this have taught me it’s not only a leader’s privilege, but also a responsibility, to give others permission to succeed. According to experts, a manager’s number one responsibility is to establish a vision for the organization. One of the ways you establish the vision is to give people a belief in what they can do.

What is the alternative? If you don’t give people permission to succeed you draw artificial boundaries for them. In effect you are saying, “I am building a fence around your abilities – and you cannot go farther than these limits.” PBS recently featured a documentary on children who grow up in negative environments with constant verbal abuse. Most of them grow up to live mediocre, even criminal, lives.

As a leader it is my great opportunity to say, “You have permission to succeed, provided you succeed correctly, by using the right principles in the right way in the right time.” Recognizing talents and gifts in people before they do is one of the great thrills of leadership. Giving them permission to develop them is the responsibility of leadership.

After a focus week on a Christian campus, a student came up to me. In a quiet voice she said, “You spoke life to me. Thank you.” I may never know the direction of her life, but I am grateful for the privilege of lighting a spark.
Give others the permission to succeed. You never know when you may be unlocking the door.

This week think about: 1) Who gave me permission to succeed? 2) How can I lead with this mindset? 3) What will it take to make this part of my organization’s culture?

Words of Wisdom: “The measurement of success is the ratio of talents used to talents received.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Saul replied to David, ‘May you be rewarded, my son David! You will without question be successful!’ So David went on his way, and Saul returned to his place.” (1 Samuel 26:25 NET Bible)

Little Good, Big Good

Weekly Thought – September 3, 2019

Fred liked to say “service is the rent we pay on the space we occupy in life.” How he lived this out! A cynical physician recently wrote that after 75 life just deteriorates and we take more from society than we give. He never knew Fred! He gave back right up to the last breath.

The repairs on breakfastwithfred.com are progressing well. Also, updates on bwfli.com are in the works. The sites had grown “old and cranky,” so this needed work is being done. Thank you to our financial supporters who make this possible. Your contributions make the wisdom of Fred Smith, Sr. available online. Thank you. Check out the Facebook page: Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute.

Little Good, Big Good

Dick Halverson served as the Chaplain of the Senate for 14 years. Three or four of his friends spent a weekend at his farm engaged in conversation. As we sat around, talking, one of my favorite descriptions of Christ came to mind: “He went about doing good.” That was so much the way Dick chose to live.

I find it interesting to see how Christ lived his life. No rushing around, no to-do list, no trying to make it to the next “significant encounter,” no prioritizing – just going about doing good. He stopped as he traveled to the home of Jairus, responding to the tug on his robe by a woman with a serious female problem. He paused, touched her, and then continued on His way.

Can you think of a better obituary than “He (or she) went about doing good – and doing good just where he (she) was? It isn’t about creating a platform for doing good, but recognizing that just where you are is your opportunity.

Sadly, I watch Christian celebrities who strive for the “big good.” They want the visibility, the prestige, and the limelight. Many times these people move from organization to organization moving up the Christian “doing good ladder.” On the other hand, I see Christians who feel they aren’t productive because they are doing “little good.” How wrong they are!

Those that plant seeds and “bloom where they are planted,” as the cliché goes, may be operating in the power of the Spirit way more than the celebrities who run to the bright lights. In another outstanding conversation time I sat with a group of Christian leaders, including Stephen Olford. After a stimulating discussion on leadership he quietly asked, “I have had my share of celebrity. I have been recognized.as one who faithfully teaches the Word. But when I die if my family can’t say they saw God in me, then I have failed.”

The little opportunities to do good day by day, wherever we are, should be our agenda, not rushing from meeting to meeting gaining recognition. Don’t misunderstand me – I certainly see the good in public ministry… just not the “be all,” and the sole reason for service.

It is about recognizing who we are, what our gifts are, and where God has planted us – then making service a priority.

This week think about: 1) How focused am I on what is right in front of me? 2) Who models blooming where they are planted in my life? 3) What can I do this week to strengthen my “going about doing good?”

Words of Wisdom: “Service is the rent we pay on the space we occupy in life.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Get dressed for service and keep your lamps burning.” (Luke 12:35 NET Bible)

Defining Production

Weekly Thought – August 27, 2019

Fred studied for a lifetime. Although he was unable to attend college, lacking the necessary funding, he embodied “life long learner.” He and Mary Alice believed in higher education providing a way for their three children to each have undergraduate and graduate degrees. He committed himself to getting older, but never old. His mind stayed sharp until the closing hours as his body shut down. Ever the student, he concentrated on human relations, even his own family.

BWFLI is in the final planning stages for the What’s Next Roundtable at Palm Beach University in November. Please keep the team in your prayers. We see more than ever the importance of building into the lives of our Christian colleges and universities. Your financial support is greatly appreciated.

Defining Production

As a business executive I focus heavily on production. When I was young and growing in the corporation I learned about manufacturing. Later in life when I started the food packaging brokerage I employed many of the principles learned at an early age in shoe and apparel plants.

For most of my business life I have clearly understood “results are the only excuse for activity.” Accomplishment and productivity are my yardstick.

At 60 I experienced a tremendous shift in my thinking. I began learning how to define productivity in the family. That sounds strange, doesn’t it?

Our son pointed out to me my philosophy of management worked well in the office, but not so well at home. “You run the family like you run the business. You are the President and CEO. Mom serves as Vice President (with a direct line of report to you) and each of the kids has a job description.”

It never occurred to me that the family didn’t run that way. Business consultants talk about “metrics and measurements.” I completely understood that. What I totally missed and misunderstood was the outcome desired for the family. I realized my learning about this was just beginning.

Providing, spiritually leading, creating a stimulating environment – all these were in “my wheelhouse,” as the young ones say. I failed to stop and properly evaluate the genuine outcome.

After several years of arduous study and yes, struggle, I came to this conclusion: the production of the family is relationship. I am doing my best to change, but it is very difficult. All of your reflexes, all your habits, all your thought patters, all your experiences have been under a different system and its almost like a spiritual conversion. You have to become a new person.

I felt very vulnerable during this process. I encountered new experiences, made new decisions – all without the years I had with the old “run it like a business model.” I took the “by appointment only” attitude and replaced it with a desire to be part of the family. I have to admit I have yet to come to the point of sitting down and watching TV, but I no longer cluck my tongue as I pass through the room on the way to my study to do “serious work.”

Interestingly, our grandchildren were the first to notice – and benefit. They recognized I valued being with them, not just instructing, or leading from the top of the org chart.

I haven’t given up the burning desire for productivity, but I have redefined it. Relationship is now the desired outcome.

This week think about: 1) How do I measure success in the family? 2) What does accomplishment and productivity look like to me? 3) What can I begin learning right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Relationship is the production of a home.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And let us take thought of how to spur one another on to love and good works.” (Hebrews 10:24 NET Bible)

He Stretched Others

Weekly Thought – August 20, 2019

Fred closed his earthly chapters on August 17, 2007 at 9:15am in Dallas, TX. His daughters stood by his bed watching the heart monitor show the declining rate. At the last moment physical life ended but his spiritual life continued on. The thought this week is a retelling of Fred’s own story of his life theme. Our prayer at BWF is for your hearts and minds to be strengthened and stretched.

He Stretched Others

I was once asked at age 69 what was next for me. “What direction do you want to take as you head into your 70s?” “What new things do you want to do with your life?” The interviewer challenged me to set out my goals for the next 10 years. I don’t think she expected my response.

“My direction is the one that has fueled me since my late twenties.”

I grew up in the mill district of North Nashville. The advantages of social position, money, and upward movement weren’t mine. But I knew instinctively I had a purpose. I analyzed my gifts; I studied my motivations; and I went to a cemetery. Yes, I went to a cemetery, sat on a tombstone, and considered what I wanted on my headstone. As I sat there I said, “One day I will be under the stone and this is what I want marking my life.”

Strongly influenced by the power of brevity by Western Union telegrams I settled on three words: “He Stretched Others.”
Those three words became the aim in my life. That is why I mentor, teach, talk, and write. It is sheer joy to see someone stretched, even if it makes them a bit uncomfortable. When I see someone with talent who is way too comfortable, I do my best to unsettle them. I probe, prod, and often put a burr under their saddle.

But I never do this if they do not have the capability to stretch. I never challenge a man with one leg to become a long-distance runner. I am careful in my coaching to not talk to people about things which they clearly cannot do. That is unkind.

But almost all of us can stretch way beyond where we are. We settle for so little when so much is possible. I express my belief in them and then they believe.

So, my goals for the next ten years (or however much time God gives me), I will continue in my desire to stretch others. I think God intended me to do this. This is my sweet spot.

(Editor’s note: Fred is buried at Restland Cemetery in Dallas, TX under a headstone with three words: He Stretched Others next to Mary Alice.)

This week think about: 1) What do I want for my epitaph? 2) What do I think God intended me to do? 3) How can I encourage growth in others?

Words of Wisdom: “We settle for so little when so much is possible.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I have had great joy and encouragement because of your love, for the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.” (Philemon 1:7 NET Bible)

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