Disciplined Decisions

Weekly Thought -October 19, 2021

Fred excelled in disciplining his decisions. He, also, made this exercise part of his mentoring. He knew healthy organizations depended heavily on the skill of leadership in assessing situations and making wise, effective decisions.

Disciplined Decisions

As leaders, our decisions determine the character of our organizations. We cannot afford to make exceptions for ourselves. If the President cuts corners, it sets standards for the entire organization. In my experience, dishonesty at the top encourages it throughout.

I have seen some leaders overlook “small dishonesties” as a way to glue the organization to the leader through guilt… it may even become an informal perk. If the company philosophy says honesty is the best policy, then it must be the only policy. My mentor at GENESCO had a policy: “If it has to be done, it has to be done right. If it can’t be done right, it doesn’t have to be done.” Where others took short cuts we had to work to find creative solutions with integrity.

Leaders must recognize that their character directly affects how they operate. They must make disciplined decisions. For example, working from the desire to maintain total control does not usually result in a healthy organization. Some leaders operate with the agenda of protecting personal position. Leadership development in such situations is thwarts personnel development.

I was once in a ministry reorganization that raised the control question. “Is this work his or His?” “Does it belong to the leader or to God?” When I hear a ministry leader say “God called me to head up this organization” I want to ask “For what purpose: to give you a lifetime job, or that the mission might be accomplished?” Control driven ministry leaders are usually more self-serving than God-serving.

Certainly there are times of emergency when unilateral control may be required for a short time – until the emergency is resolved.

Control oriented leadership doesn’t establish succession. I was once asked to take the helm as President of an organization that had long been led by a dictatorial head. I knew my team approach would not be profitable because the staff was trained to act on orders, not to think through solutions. I couldn’t in good conscience ask people who hadn’t taken responsibility for results for years to begin to think for themselves. My experience teaches me the perpetuity of the healthy organization is management’s first responsibility, and so leadership development at all levels is of prime importance. Successful succession is a leader’s responsibility and often a test of character.

Think carefully about: 1) What measures do I use to assess the health of an organization? 2) How careful am I to make disciplined decision – even in the smallest matter? 3) Who looks up to me as a model for character development?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders must recognize that their character directly affects how they operate.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Listen to advice and receive discipline, that you may become wise by the end of your life.” (Proverbs 19:20 NET Bible)

The Art of Being Mentored

Weekly Thought – October 12, 2021

Fred’s reputation as a nationally recognized speaker, management consultant, and board member morphed during his career to be immediately associated with mentoring. He was known as “mentor to a generation of leaders.” By the end of his life that aptly became generations.

The Art of Being Mentored

Great teachers want to find great students. With my mentors, I tried to be a good student. As I studied the process I recognized four key elements in being successfully mentored.

1) Admit your ignorance. I never tried to impress my mentor with my knowledge. I always exposed my ignorance. To hide ignorance is as foolish as hiding symptoms from a doctor. Dr. Walter Hearn, a biochemist at Yale University surprised me once by saying, “Fred, every night when you go to bed you ought to be more ignorance than you were when you woke up.” He explained that if I considered my knowledge as a balloon that increased in size daily, it touched more and more ignorance on the periphery of its environment. The more I knew the more I knew I didn’t know. Arrogant people are proud of their knowledge; the humble are familiar with their ignorance.

2) Work to ask the right questions. Right questions come from thought, analysis, and discernment. Idle or careless questions are demeaning to the mentor. There’s power in a good question. Years of experience have taught me that one of keys is asking a question the person wants to answer. A young professor recently told me about asking a prominent speaker two questions following an award ceremony. The man disregarded all those trying to shake his hand and concentrated on answering only those two questions. The professor asked questions the man wanted to answer.

3) Do your homework. With my two mentors I never called them unless I had written down what I wanted to talk about. Writing out your questions beforehand is helpful in minimizing verbiage. When we met in person I had already organized my questions; I knew it was not a social situation. If we later spent time together that was up to them, not me. My mentors knew I would not waste their time. In fact, I never walked in their offices and sat down until invited. Preparation shows respect and a readiness to make progress.

4) Never try to “use” your mentor. A person with a high-profile, well-known mentor can be tempted to reference him/her in ways that really are manipulative. Quoting the mentor out of context, attempting to build a relationship for personal gain, or name dropping inappropriately are examples. A mentor is for progress, not ego satisfaction.

A good student grows. Progress is the pay the student gives the teacher. The mentor likes being there when achievement occurs. I now at this age spend most of my time mentoring high achievers. I make no charge. But I get amply paid by the accomplishments I see in them.

This week carefully consider: 1) Who are my mentors? 2) How well do I prepare to be a mentoree? 3) What is my desired outcome from the relationship?

Words of Wisdom: “A mentor is for progress, not ego satisfaction.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Give instruction to a wise person, and he will become wiser still; teach a righteous person and he will add to his learning.” (Proverbs 9:9 NET Bible)

Denial as the Default

Weekly Thought – October 5, 2021

Fred told the truth. His upbringing in the home of a Southern Baptist blacksmith with massive hands and arms turned preacher may have had something to do with this. He valued truth and questioned to uncover the real story many times. “Staying current and facing the facts” were bywords. Denial made little sense to him and was definitely not part of his operating system.

Denial as the Default

The theme song for many goes, “say it isn’t so.” Saying it isn’t so is not making it not so. Yet so often we deny our problems and actually accept denial as one of the ways to solve them. How many times have you heard “leave it alone – it will go away.” I even knew an otherwise bright executive who consciously ignored such things as oil leaking from his car for, he said, “it will probably correct itself.” By denying the problem he delayed the solution – and also increased the damage.

Delay is a form of denial. Once a young man with an exceptional education and family connections asked me to lunch to discuss his business future. When I asked what he had been doing he said “I am looking for the right opportunity.” I thought a shock would be helpful so I told him “you have a great deal of potential n- in fact, you have all you have ever had for certainly you have used none of it.” Later on, one of his peers described him to me as a “Rolls Royce with a loose steering gear.” This sounds unkind, but he could be helped mightily by having his denial by delay pointed out clearly.

Some intellectual problems are handled by denial. Once I was talking with a well-known talk show host recognized for his intellectual, but liberal worldview. When I asked him if he believed in “original sin” he replied, “That would be an awful thought.” Can we escape a fact by calling it an idea, a concept, a viewpoint? Trying to escape the reality we want to deny is a fool’s errand.

Every day we consider ways to avoid the truth. For example, diplomacy is one way we delay and deny our political problems. With cosmetics we deny the aging process. Even in death we dress up the corpse to evoke the response, “doesn’t he/she look wonderful?” Even our vocabulary teaches us about denial. When installment credit plans were developed they were dubbed “convenience purchasing,” not debt. Often, we substitute the word progress for change, even when it is going in a downward direction. Euphemisms become the socially acceptable way of addressing negative events. We shield ourselves from unpleasant facts by giving them new names or definitions.

We are often tempted to deny relational problems. Therapists tell us of refuge in silent denial prominent in troubled homes. Lack of verbal communication supposedly covers the fact of a family breakdown. The ache of losing a child is sometimes covered by building a shrine in the child’s room, pretending death did not occur.
Kubler-Ross says the second step in grief recovery is denial. It is all right to let people deny for a short time, because rushing them into objective examination without gaining equilibrium is unhealthy. But remaining in denial doesn’t result in emotional health, either.

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, “Denial is not a river in Egypt.” It is a place to move through on the way to health and maturity when grieving. It is a poor choice for living if we build it into our operating system.

This week think about: 1) When am I most tempted to deny or delay? 2) Where have I short circuited my growth by not facing facts? 3) Who is a good truth teller for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Delay is a form of denial.”

Wisdom from the Word: “What should we do with these men? For it is plain to all who live in Jerusalem that a notable miraculous sign has come about through them, and we cannot deny it.” (Acts 4:16 NET Bible)

Defining a Lifestyle

Weekly Thought – September 28, 2021

Fred believed in defining a lifestyle as a measure for making life decisions. He and Mary Alice set their priorities when they were newly married and renting one room from a “widow lady.” Several of their friends adopted this habit, as well. One couple said they decided how much money was enough, and when resources exceeded that limit, they increased their giving and not their consumption.

Defining a Lifestyle

A quality lifestyle doesn’t just happen – it takes hard work. When talking with those who are engaging in this exercise I ask them to consider several questions. Here are four of the principal ones:

1) What do I really enjoy doing? The thing I have a talent for, the thing I do best and enjoy the most should certainly be considered first. However, there should always be guidelines because certain things that people enjoy need to come into line with Christian thought. The lifestyle needs to be under the discipline of our scriptural faith.

2) When do I feel good about myself? This is the second defining question. What makes me feel I have meaning, worth, and uniqueness? Too many trade their gifts for money and success. Too many become a human medium of exchange sacrificing the gifts given for usefulness, not just for commerce. If meaning is derived only from getting and not giving, a dangerous line has been crossed.

3) When do I feel joy? What creates a deep sense of satisfaction? When do I get the “life should be like this more often” feeling? Personally, this comes in times of genuine worship. It is not limited to church services alone. It is in those times when I sense the largeness of God and the smallness of Fred. When I feel the smallest I feel the most secure.

4) What gives me balance and authenticity? Speaking to a large group of executives I mentioned the fact that it is wonderful to wake up at 2:00 in the morning and the “little guy” inside is happy to talk with me. But if he says, “Get lost. I’ve lost respect for you,” then I know I am in trouble. One of the men jumped up, saying, “Man, you have plowed up a snake!” I knew right away he had spent some early morning hours wrestling with his little guy.

There must be ethical harmony within the lifestyle we define. Our life must reflect good relations with our family, friends, and associates. A healthy lifestyle definition strives for a compatible, beautiful, harmonious life.

This week think about: 1) Which of the questions makes me really think? 2) How am I communicating this exercise to others? 3) When I have a definition, what will I do with it?

Words of Wisdom: “If meaning is derived only from getting and not giving, a dangerous line has been crossed.”

Wisdom from the Word: “You have made known to me the paths of life; you will make me full of joy with your presence.” (Acts 2:28 NET Bible)

Decisive Actions

Weekly Thought – September 21, 2021

Fred traveled heavily in his consulting and speaking work. Early on he attained lifetime status with American Airlines. He met interesting people and exercised his great skill of question asking. This week’s thought recalls a funny experience during the 1960s on one of those cross-country flights.

Decisive Actions

Decisiveness is a quality of effective executives, but it is indeed a rare trait. Everyone likes to say, “Oh, yes, I am decisive.” Very few really are. They wait until they are forced into a decision or until the decision is made for them.

Lately I’ve been accumulating clever ways people avoid making a decision. And there is no dearth of material. One of the worst offenders is the executive who talks five minutes on both sides of the question and then emphatically announces, “That is what I think.” Oh, no, there is one worse – the fellow who sits next to the him and says, “I agree with Bob.”

Actually, decisiveness is a matter of the will. I think I will illustrate it with a true story.

I was spending a few days with Mobil Oil (one of my consulting clients) on the west coast. Wanting to get home I took the red eye American flight to Chicago and then on to Cincinnati. When I got to the check-in I realized the flight was full. As we loaded people kept coming on the plane until every seat was taken except for the one next to me.

Just before the door closed a 6’3” mountain of a man with big, broad shoulders and a flat stomach came running on the plane and sat down next to me. He shouldn’t have done that. Why should he make me uncomfortable all the way to Chicago as I sat there with my 225 pounds of solid blubber? It was Charlton Heston, the actor.

“Mr. Heston, you are in wonderful physical shape.” “I have to be in my business.” I replied, “I wish I could be, too, but I have to work.” “Well, I have to work but I can stay in this shape on 17 minutes a day.”

He had no right to say that. That was not sociable. I have 17 minutes a day. He should have talked about days under professional training.

For 30 minutes I sat and stewed in my own fat. Then I said, “Mr. Heston, I travel a lot.” “I do, too.” “How do you exercise when you are on the road?” “It’s very simple. I go into the hotel room, sit on the luggage rack, put my toes under the bed, and do back bends.” “What do you do about your shoulders?” “Oh, that is easy. I roll under the bed and push the bed up and down in the air.”

Now what is the difference between Heston and Smith? You recognize it all too quickly. A recent survey discovered the definable difference between successful and unsuccessful people: the unsuccessful say “I should – I ought to- I plan to – I’m going to” but never get around to it. The successful say, “I will.” They make the decision and take action. They do it.

This week carefully consider: 1) As I read Fred’s story, where do I need to make a decision? 2)What is holding me back? 3) Who models decisiveness in my work life, community, and family?

Words of Wisdom: “Decisiveness is a matter of the will.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So give your servant a discerning mind so he can make judicial decisions for your people and distinguish right from wrong. Otherwise no one is able to make judicial decisions for this great nation of yours.” ( 1 Kings 3:9 NET Bible)

Right Thinking

Weekly Thought – September 7, 2021

Fred regarded emotional control and civility highly. He valued maturity in society. As an analytical, he considered the strategies for right thinking a necessary element for all leaders.

Right Thinking

Our society has become so obsessed with winning that we have exchanged honest competition for a philosophy of life – making winning synonymous with winning and losing the effective definition of wrong. In the “win at all costs” culture everyone is an adversary. In such a situation I rarely see civility as the standard. The outcome of perpetual contest is that we stand alone and alienated. Incivility lives itself out as a disease of separation.

Our conversational styles are caught up by this philosophy. “In your face” is currently acceptable, but certainly has no Biblical foundation. The phrases “Just Do It” and “Outta My Way” create a language of incivility resulting in thoughts and actions of rudeness.

Controlling our attitudes and establishing respect for others requires discipline and a system. In my long study of emotions I developed a formula that I will share with you. Experiment and see if it will help you as it has helped me. “First the thought, then the mood, then the rationalized action.” By this I mean, first the thought comes into our mind and if we keep it long enough to give it validity it drops down into our heart and creates a mood. After this, the mood rationalizes the action. For example, when we harbor anger as a thought, it turns into a mood, and then plays out as a hostile action.

How do we work the formula for a successful outcome? We start by keeping the destructive thought out of our hearts.

Thoughts which aren’t given credibility or space will be fleeting. But if we dwell on it and give it the power to create a mood, we have taken a step toward action. Thoughts and actions are linked. “As a man thinks, so is he.”

I am not suggesting we have the ability to clear our minds of all thoughts, I know that just isn’t so. The important thing is to substitute another, healthier thought in its place. My Mother used to warn us that “idle minds were the devil’s workshop.” Even in scripture we are told in our thinking to consider truth, nobility, rightness, purity, loveliness, admirableness, and praiseworthiness.

If our goal is civility, then our mental discipline must be starting with civil thoughts. If we want to live nobly, then ignoble thoughts must be discarded. We must work to reprogram our minds, replacing the bad with the good. Emotional, mental, control will help us create social civility. Understanding the process of guarding the mind and heart allows us to take control of our actions which is the foundation of a civil society.

This week think about: 1) When do I most struggle with allowing unhealthy thoughts to grab hold? 2) How am I establishing mental disciplines to protect my thought life? 3) Which are my most productive moods?

Words of Wisdom: “First the thought, then the mood, then the rationalized action.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now immediately, when Jesus realized in his spirit that they were contemplating such thoughts, he said to them, ‘Why are you thinking such things in your hearts?’” (Mark 2:8 NET Bible)

Creating Favorable Attention

Weekly Thought – August 31, 2021

Fred loved stimulating conversation. He developed the skill of cultivating interesting people. He, also, knew how to nurture these abilities in others. Ever a teacher, he thought analytically forming ideas in such a way they could be easy communicated and used.

Creating Favorable Attention

Unfavorable attention can be damaging to careers and relationships. Discourteous interruption, yawns, inappropriate dressing, or excessive exaggeration create attention – the wrong kind.

Bill Russell, the great basketball player and coach, said the first thing a player in his first All-Pro game thinks about is avoiding making a humiliating mistake. He said it is important to get into the game, and get comfortable before going for the big play. This principle works in social and business situations.

Unfortunately, our media-hyped culture has developed the concept that all attention is good – “just spell my name right!” Very few of us can afford press agents, so it is up to us to make sure our coverage is favorable. Careers can hinge on a minor faux pas and major gaffes.

Think about conversations… sometimes we are so eager to get into the conversation we come in clumsily on our left foot. Knowing this about ourselves, we should program ourselves for quietness, depending on attentive listening until we become comfortable and sense the rhythm of the conversation. A talented middle management person I know will probably never move to the top simply because the first two minutes of almost conversation is ruined. The social insecurity negates the professional expertise. Upon introduction, sarcasm and sassy remarks becomes the tools of choice… bad choice. Quiet followed by constructive remarks would change the entire perception. Simply rehearsing ways of entering conversations could make a tremendous difference in career advancement.

Competitive – or worse, combative – remarks in the beginning of a conversation (particularly with strangers or mere acquaintances) reminds me of the movie cowboy who pushes open the saloon doors shouting, “I can whip any man here!”

Self-deprecation is not the answer. The person whose insecurity drives them to dispel nervousness through self-effacement. This always creates a negative impression. Accepting compliments is an important skill to develop. A gracious woman accepted a compliment on her attire demonstrating her skill. “Thank you so much. I’ll remember your compliment every time I wear this dress.” She accepted praise by making it about the other person. In accepting she received favorable attention.

Poise demonstrates control. Gaining favorable attention means managing any habits that result in unfavorable attention. Spending time assessing and asking close friends to give feedback can allow personal development which makes a significant difference in the way we are perceived and received. And then practice makes perfect.

This week think carefully about: 1) How aware am I of habits that create negative attention? 2) Who could give me honest, helpful feedback? 3) What process do I have in place (or need) to promote favorable attention?

Words of Wisdom: “Unfavorable attention can be damaging to careers and relationships.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” (Proverbs 13:3 NET Bible)

Conversational Simplicity

Weekly Thought – August 24, 2021

Fred appreciated Albert Einstein. One of his favorite Einstein quotes inspired his own thinking: “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.” He avoided conversation filled with fluff and flattery.

Beginning next week we will begin adding content from the thousands of 3×5 cards Fred kept as a personal resource from his own thoughts, as well as quotes from others. We are working to create a permanent archive for these cards and their profound wisdom. Would you pray for us as we dive into this very deep pool? Thank you.

Conversational Simplicity

Mary Alice in a very untypical choice became interested in an old black and white western movie. The main characters were a thirtyish, soft-spoken farmer’s wife; the farmer; and a toddler baby boy. The wife died leaving the man to raise the boy. As she lay dying he shared his dream of building her a house with a porch and rocking chairs under the hackberry tree.

When the wife died the husband with singleness of purpose dedicated himself to raising the son. The commitments he made required very little conversation. They were total, simple, direct, and all-consuming.

Commitment is a large part of the simple life. Paul said, “this one thing I do.” Modern man says, “these many things I will try.” They rarely settle on any one thing as being completely worthy of a focused life.

The simple farmer felt that living out a simple life, fulfilling his responsibilities, and not asking too much was all the reward that life offered him. There is great dignity in this. Advertising in all its forms creates discontent, shouting at us about what we do not have and what we should be getting. Few people in our culture would sit under a hackberry tree after a hard day’s work. True essence is elegant by its nature and doesn’t need additional external trappings.

The farmer spoke to his baby boy, “I’ll raise you good if it takes every breath in my body.” Simple elegance.

This simplicity was part of the man. In this film his conversation was never more than two or three words. That certainly made it easier on the script writer!

The farmer said things simply, not feeling that he had to justify or rationalize or make himself look good by his conversation. Much of urban conversation is impressing, justifying, embellishing, and talking for effect. When men and women come to me for counsel on public speaking I tell them one of the very first rules is: “Speak to express, not to impress.”

The truth simply spoken is a brilliant jewel in an elegant Tiffany mounting… understated yet always appropriate.

This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I monitor my conversational motivations? 2) What do I do when I recognize I am trying to impress, not just express? 3) Who models clear, simple conversation?

Words of Wisdom: “Speak to express, not to impress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:6 NIV Bible)

The Permanent Parent

Weekly Thought – August 10, 2021

Fred was the third of five sons, raised by Mathew Bunyan Smith and Amye Anderson Smith. His father was a Southern Baptist pastor while his wife provided support and encouragement for the family. His father’s example of Christian love to the impoverished during the great depression taught Fred of God’s faithfulness. His Mother taught lifelong lessons of steadfastness, faithfulness, and purpose.

The archiving of Fred’s thousands of 3×5 cards with “observations and insights” has begun. They fit nicely between the “Fred Saids” which are his one-liners, and the Weekly Thoughts which expand into several paragraphs. They will be scanned and formatted. Please pray for the project as it progresses.

The Permanent Parent

Our heavenly Father is permanent… we are bonded. At the baptism of Jesus God said, “This is my Son whom I love, with Him I am well pleased.” We have a fixed relationship with a God who loves us unconditionally. Scripture says “no one can take them out of my hand.” We don’t have to keep winning His acceptance; the relationship is based on the fact of His nature.

Many fathers simply cannot accept this perfect bonding of unconditional acceptance in their own lives and consequently cannot model this relationship for their children.

A woman told me of struggling with her father even though he was dead. She felt she could never gain his acceptance or approval. She gave me the example of coming home as a young girl with a report card filled with all A grades. Her father’s response was “Don’t they give A pluses at that school?” He may have been facetious, but the wound cut deeply and has not healed yet. She struggles to see God as a loving Father.

There is intimacy in the perfect relationship. I have found that it cannot be planned or scheduled. It cannot be a task assigned as an A priority in our Daytimer. Intimate conversation has to come about naturally. All we can do is give it the opportunity, honesty, and openness to appreciate it when it does occur. Confidence in the permanence of the relationship, whether heavenly or human, creates a platform for intimacy. When we are secure in the enduring quality of God’s love, we have the freedom to emotionally open up to others in our lives. God’s everlasting love for us teaches us to the way to establish intimacy with our own children.

To me, the perfect human relationship is based on mutual respect. I believe in becoming each other’s teacher and mentor. I now recognize that our children are able to teach me just as much as I am able to teach them – and sometimes more. This lesson of mutual mentoring is taught through shared lives, trusting experiences, and lifelong work. The children occasionally thank me for learning about parenting. “You have done a pretty good job of re-parenting, Dad.”

As God parents me and I work to understand the principles and patterns I am working to apply them to human relationships, especially with the children. God is a good teacher who models what my parenting should be – and what I want it to be.

This week think carefully about: 1) Who models parenthood for me? 2) How convinced am I of God’s love for me? 3) What lessons am I teaching my children about God’s fatherhood?

Words of Wisdom: “When we are secure in the enduring quality of God’s love, we have the freedom to emotionally open up to others in our lives.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father.” (Proverbs 29:3a NET Bible)

Living A Life That Matters

Weekly Thought – August 3, 2021

Fred’s commitment to “a life worth living” never waned. Even in his last hours he struggled to speak wisdom to those who came to say goodbye. Identifying his “uniqueness” as he called it, and maximizing its use for indeed a lifetime endeavor. He died as he lived – with purpose and faith.

Please pray for our friends in Christian higher education. Challenges are great, but their resolve is even greater. We would encourage you to join those who pray monthly for them as participants in our Breakfast With Fred Prayer Network.

Living A Life That Matters

A life worth living is available, but it must be earned. You must earnestly and honestly want it. Emerson said, “Be careful young man what you want, for you will have it.” He spoke of the thing you want from deep down in your heart – the lodestar, the thing that is the magnet to which you are drawn. Many people I see really don’t want the life they’ve got; they want something else, but they haven’t been willing to endure the pain of defining what they want.

One of the most telling truths of Christ’s ministry was at the pool of Bethsaida when he asked the man who had been there for 38 years: “Do you really want to be healed?” I used to think that was a very foolish question, but the longer I live with people, the more I need to know what they honestly want.

When a young executive comes to one of my friends in senior management and says he is unable to complete an assignment he asks,” Is this something you can’t or won’t do?” Then he goes on to say, “If you can’t do it, I can help you. If you won’t do it, nobody can help you.” So much time is wasted by people trying to help others who don’t want to be helped. I am not in the business of building a 95% bridge.

There are two questions I want to ask of those who want my help in achieving a life worth living:

1) What have you done to help yourself? The other evening I visited with a middle-aged man who looked like a comer when he was young. I’ve been surprised that he has not really made a success of his life. He left a large corporation he joined directly from college. He was a bright and promising young rising star. I began to understand it when we talked about the disciplines necessary to pull ourselves out of emotional slumps. He said, “Sometimes I just like being down there and I don’t want anybody to pull me out until I have completely enjoyed the funk.” I saw he had developed a negative narcissism that a successful executive simply cannot afford.

2) Where have I been willing to ask for help? There are times when we cannot do it alone. We need someone else to help and we must ask for that assistance. Of course, there are times when only Go can provide the help. In either case, we must be humble enough to reach out and say, “Please help.” False pride will extinguish the fire of a meaningful life.

The life you have is the result of your choices. If you want a different life you must make different choices. A life worth living is a life worth wanting.

This week carefully consider: 1) How satisfied am I with my life? 2) What choices have set me in this direction? 3) Who can help me assess my current condition?

Words of Wisdom: “I am not in the business of building a 95% bridge.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But tell the people of Jerusalem that the LORD says, ‘I will give you a choice between two courses of action. One will result in life; the other will result in death.’” (Jeremiah 21:8 NET Bible)

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