Brenda’s Blog – December 1, 2020

In 1990 a British comedy debuted on public television. It gathered an immediate audience who faithfully watches the reruns to this day.

One episode features Hyacinth conversing with her husband Richard as they await the arrival of the new Vicar and his wife. She bemoaned the fact that her roses didn’t climb as high as her social aspirations.

The dialogue has a great spiritual application:

Hyacinth: “Why are my roses not as large as the ones next door?”

Richard: “They’re a different variety, Hyacinth”

Hyacinth: “I don’t like our roses not being as big as those next door. I wanted the Vicar to be greeted by a blaze of petal glory. Are you neglecting them?”

Richard: “This variety only grows to this size.”

Hyacinth: “I am sure if you tried harder…”

The Spirit of God endows us all with gifts to be nurtured, pruned, and used to bless others. Sadly, we, like Hyacinth, look over the spiritual bushes and yearn for the seemingly larger gifts of others. We want to make a splash in the Christian world – we want to be seen as a blaze of petal glory.

But we grow according to our plan and our variety. The smaller roses of Richard’s garden fit perfectly into the limited space of their English garden. The proportion suited the situation. Likewise, we are perfectly designed to “bloom where we are planted” as the needlepoint pillows and kitchen wall plaques remind us.

God didn’t intend for us to try harder to be something we aren’t. He didn’t us to criticize or demean. He created us for a clear purpose and equipped us to bring His beauty and blessing with the aroma of His love and goodness.

Let’s not be staring across the hedge wanting to be someone else. Let’s thankfully blossom with the greatness of God and the benefits of His kindness. Let’s give up trying harder and focus on the perfection of the gifts He has chosen for us.

Brenda’s Blog – November 17, 2020

“Put on your mask – they won’t let you in without it.”

These words of admonition were mine as I dropped my 22 year old grandson off for his doctor’s appointment. Quite a normal instruction, isn’t it?

As I reread Steve Brown’s classic “Three Free Sins” he talked about the masks we wear. BOOM! My words to Andrew came spinning back into my mind. Culture is now reinforcing one of the governing principles of social interaction: we wear masks.

“How are you?” “Fine,” we automatically answer through the mask we wear. “How are the kids doing?” “Great,” we eagerly respond speaking through the mask which hides emotional hurt and concern.

I was in sales management for years. One of the standard training clichés was “fake it ‘til you make it.” Well, I often thought as I worked to develop success strategies “what if they never make it? Do they go on faking it?” I fear so.
A disturbed young woman recently said to me, “I am so tired of smiling, and being funny just to fit in – just to be accepted. I am just worn out.” Her mask was making marks on her soul.

We knew when mask wearing became “de rigueur” the marketing departments wouldn’t settle for generic, faux medical face coverings. It wasn’t long before bedazzled, sequined models arrived. Or, graphics which depicted gnarly expressions. Or, how about the “Jesus loves you” versions which serve to evangelize while hiding us? Aren’t we the same way? We don’t settle for simple versions but develop sophisticated strategies for distracting others from seeing us.

Interestingly enough, our eyes are still visible. My sweet Mom used to judge my well-being (and my moral integrity) by looking into my eyes. There were times I dreaded the all-knowing stare from my very perceptive parent. I laugh now as I remember her assessment of my physical health with just this one phrase “Your eyes look weak.” The masks still allow that peek into our souls, don’t they?

As we obediently don the coverings which make us socially acceptable may we refuse to hide who we are as beloved children of God. May we look into the eyes of others, see and love the imago dei.

Brenda’s Blog – November 3, 2020

“Just for a moment you looked like Grandmother.”

My son, daughter in law, and I sat on the deck beside a Minnesota lake eating lunch and thoroughly enjoy the beautiful Fall. As I chatted with my DIL my son watched the interaction then responded with his comment.

I received it with appreciation and gratitude for my Mom was a woman of kindness, and love. I hoped he was seeing that in my face. She encouraged others to grow, wanting them to be who God designed them to be. She prayed for us through the tough times and celebrated the victories.

Amy Grant sang of wanting others to see “Her Father’s Eyes” in her. She wanted people to see the love of God which sought to share compassion, encouragement, and support. She wanted others to know she desired to see the world through her Father’s eyes.

I once met a man who played the role of Jesus in his church’s annual Easter pageant. “The more my hair grew, and the longer my beard became, the greater the change occurred in my personality. I found myself thinking differently and wanting to be more like Jesus the more I looked like Him. It was an uncanny experience.”

Who do you want people to see as they look at you? Whose patterns have imprinted you and influence your decisions? What choices are you making that will one day be reflected in your face?

May our faces reflect wisdom, peace, and inspiration. May we show in our faces compassion and love reaching out to strengthen others. And may our faces smile because we are people of joy!

Brenda’s Blog – October 20, 2020

“Pilot Car: Follow Me”

I have a good friend who recently retired after a long career as an OTR driver. He said truckers say there are only two seasons for those who drive American interstates: winter and road construction. Both create problems and slow their progress.

An addition to his observation is rural East Texas where somehow money is always available to work and rework roads which seemingly have minimal traffic. I often suspect it is good for the local economy and for the results at election time.

Driving to Tyler this week I encountered one of those seasonal hazards – an extended line of construction trucks blocking us off.

As I obediently and fairly patiently waited in the one lane created by the road crew, I glanced at the lead car. The sign in very large letters emphatically instructed: Pilot Car: Follow Me.”

Of course my first reaction was “why do we need that? We can certainly drive the distance without a guide.”

Then, my “find a life principle everywhere” kicked in an I smiled to myself. Life is a construction zone, isn’t it? There are many roads closed down to one lane and obstacles obscure vision and safe travel.

Often we are frustrated by slow forward movement and seek ways to skirt around situations and decisions. Peace is nonexistent. Then I remember life has no true shortcuts – the struggle is real and authentic peace only comes through the trials, not by skipping them.

And help is available. We have wise counselors, life experience, and Biblical imperatives to pilot us as we avoid falling off the paved road and into the pitfalls. We have the hope of successfully traveling through the “slow down: construction zone ahead” and riding on the smooth pavement for a while.

Brenda’s Blog – October 6, 2020

“I am really proud of how it looks.”

My hairdresser always offers a mirror so I can see the back after a haircut. I always smile and decline. This time she said, “I wish you would look. I am really proud of how it looks.” Years of disappointing, even terrifying results reflected in the mirror taught me just to walk away without the “reveal.”

As I drove home I thought about an assessment process offered by Bill Hendricks and his Giftedness Center. To ascertain motivational drivers he asked me to write out at least twenty experiences with the one requirement: “times when you said to yourself ‘I really did that well.” It was important that these were times when I said to myself “you did a really good job.” It wasn’t to be when I received an award, got an “at-a-girl,” or was applauded. This was important because it made me delve into what I considered success – not how others defined it. He told me it could be a very small event, or perhaps an experience with sizable dimensions, but the measure was my assessment.

Think about this exercise and accept my challenge to seriously consider entering into such an exploration. When you complete your stories, look at them and uncover common threads…they will be there. They will introduce you to motivational patterns and drivers. You will identify times when you were proud of yourself.

You know what I found? I loved to have an idea, bring people together to make it happen, and then stamp “done” on it. Realization became a major driver for me. It taught me having an idea is great fun, but without the execution team I am left wandering around with unrealized ideas and dreams lying around the floor.

How blessed is my hairdresser to know when she is proud of her work. She didn’t wait for me to compliment the style, but boldly spoke out. How free she is!

The understanding of success begins with our awareness of those “I really did that well” moments and organizing our lives to include more activities which prompt that response.

Brenda’s Blog – September 8, 2020

“On the road again – making music with my friends.” – Willie Nelson

Quarantining, sequestering, isolating, sheltering – all synonyms for taking my car keys away.

For decades traveling the roads of America with four favorite wheels underneath me has brought opportunities for ministry, connection, and development. March, 2020 changed me from road warrior to home body.

In 2019 plans for an annual trip to The Cove (Billy Graham Training Center in Asheville, North Carolina) with friends highlighted the August 2020 calendar. Months passed and the probability of the trip dimmed. However, my intrepid, traveling spirit took charge and with great caution (a 10 day supply of masks and disinfectants) I drove from Texas into the great beyond.

Not only did I attend The Cove, but I added eight stops to visit friends unseen for years. We made music together: stories of God’s provision, protection, and promises. We laughed as we recalled long ago experiences and shared friendships. In the letter to Philemon Paul thanks him for being a refreshment. This verse reverberated over and over as I drove mile after mile. The refreshment of the Spirit poured over each visit.

I once was asked to write out a summary of my ideal job. I found the paper (I don’t throw anything away!) recently. “My perfect job would be to travel by car cross-country, encouraging other Christian friends in the truth of God and the power of the Spirit.” WOW! My Willie Nelson adventure in the throes of pandemic fleshed out this desire. I was on the road again and indeed was making the music of connection with my friends.

Your refreshment may not be a road trip, but look for those who bring life and hope to you, especially in these days. And consider how to brighten the spirits of others, helping them to make their own music.

Brenda’s Blog – August 25, 2020

“I did it and have the T-shirt to prove it!” I have heard this about jobs, parenting, athletic events, and even eating contests.
My closet is full of Tees from travels, most of them very old and way too small for me now. But I keep them because they remind me of great experiences.

My grandson lives on hand-me-downs and thrift store offerings. Consequently, he has tees from a variety of colleges, cities, and sporting events. Often he is asked if he is a graduate of the college whose shirt he is wearing. People just assume he is a student. But no – he is the recipient of someone else’s history.

How often do we adopt someone else’s story instead of creating our own? Isn’t it easier to borrow someone else’s credibility rather than earning our own?

How often do we take on the spiritual background of someone else without establishing our own? I once knew a man who as an adult was challenged by his mentor to “stop riding my spiritual coattails and get your own testimony.” He was wearing someone else’s t-shirt.

Sometimes I randomly glance through my shirts and pause to remember – moments of time travel. Some make me laugh while others bring a few minutes of reflection. But then I fold them, put them back in the closet and promise to do something with them “someday.”

I have a friend whose wife mistakenly used a beloved, but ratty, t-shirt as a cleaning cloth. He almost cried as he explained the significance of the concert tee from his glorious days of youth.

What do our shirts say about us? Volunteer efforts, jobs, travels, athletic pursuits, political affiliations, holidays, or maybe faith statements? We Americans live a t shirt life. Every once in a while perhaps we should take inventory and consider what they say about us, our beliefs, and our character.

We will always go on proclaiming our experiences to the world, bear advertising like living sign boards, and announce our proud loyalties, won’t we? Let’s just make sure they rightly express who we are.

Brenda’s Blog – August 11, 2020

“Hey, there – you in the cage!”

The billboard on Interstate 75 in Florida caught my eye and certainly made me laugh. The sponsor? Harley-Davidson, of course. Those flying freely down the highway on their roaring cycles look at us in cars as zoo animals in cages.

Two of my friends chose to ride from Texas to California on a bike as their honeymoon of choice – his choice, may I add? She had very few hours of preparation and reported the recovery time wasn’t pleasant. Happily after decades, they are still married, but the cross-country rides are a distant memory.

During a time of change I decided buying a bike and hitting the mountains of Colorado was for me. I cut out pictures of serpentine highways, pasting them on my bathroom mirror. I signed up for motorcycle classes and headed out to fulfill my dream. The “beginners” notation on the course was a true misnomer. How did I know? I was the only one in the class not to arrive on my own very large and loud bike! I got the highest score on the written test. When we actually got to the riding part I failed miserably. So miserably that I was asked to leave. I flunked the class.

Some of us are meant to see the USA on 2 wheels and others are happy to travel the roads locked in a cage with Sirius radio.

I went home, threw away the fantasy pics, pulled out my atlas, and started planning the first of many trips across America. When the bikes whiz by me there is a tug perhaps for a second or two. But when it is pouring rain and they are hunkered down beneath an overpass I am thankful for my dry cage.

All of us have dreams – and to be truly fulfilled we must understand and appreciate when they are honestly ours, and not just a reaction to circumstances. I wanted to embrace change in my life by becoming someone I had never been and would never be. When I saw my cage as the delightful means of experiencing marvelous sights and sounds I learned satisfaction.

Brenda’s Blog – July 28, 2020

In these uncertain times we often feel out of place. We long for the confidence of belonging but experience displacement instead.

Thomas More wrote of an ideal place called Utopia. It had no ills, no disharmony, and no conflict – it was perfect. Generations later we continue to desire utopia, don’t we? We see chaos, turmoil, and deprivation and our hearts yearn for the world described by More.

Ironically, the word “Utopia” is Latin meaning “no place.” The idea of perfection is impossible; this concept is from a philosopher’s imagination. But our culture took the idea and turned it into an expression of the belief that man can create such a place.

The arts are full of references to having a place. Paul Tournier, the Swiss psychiatrist, wrote of A Place for You. Michael W. Smith lamented his search for A Place in this World. George Stevens produced a film titled A Place in the Sun. No shortage of people searching for a place!

Even Jesus addressed the topic. He told us He would be going to the Father in order to “prepare a place for you… that where I am you may be also.” That is the cry of the heart – the provision of a true, satisfying place. Instead of Utopia which is “no place” because it doesn’t exist – this will be heaven for it will be life everlasting.

Brenda’s Blog – July 14, 2020

“Beep, beep, beep!”

Growing up I loved a funny little faux sci-fi series “Lost in Space.” The robot who guarded young Will Robinson gave us an iconic phrase which exists to this day among all of us old folks. When the adventuresome, though innocent, youngster crossed into treacherous territory the robot would intone, “Danger, danger, Will Robinson.”

My car was obviously designed by a devotee of the tv series for it has a safety feature which warns me of possible trouble – and absolutely aggravates me. When I wander close to the line on either side of the lane it has an alarm which continues until I straighten up and fly right.

One day I discovered a switch on the steering wheel which deactivated the beep, beep, beep. What relief! Now I could drive without pangs of conscience.

Was this a good thing? Did this remind me of the “guardian of my soul – the Holy Spirit?” What about those time when my life wandered toward the edge? How about those thankfully infrequent moments when the wheels of my life drove way too close to the other side of the yellow line?

Praise be to God His alarm isn’t so easily disabled. The Spirit prods, warning us of trespass. It consistently goes “beep, beep, beep, Brenda. Here is the way walk in it. Turn your wheels back onto the straight and narrow.”

I can ignore the Spirit’s beeping, certainly, but the price is high. The wise decision is to tune my ear to the “danger, danger” signals and willingly realign. The old hymn Trust and Obey has a terrific line: “trust and obey for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey.” For me that means turning up the volume on the warning and staying in step with the Spirit.