Brenda’s Blog – March 21, 2023

“I want to bless you. There is one caveat: you cannot spend this. You may keep it as a reminder of how He blesses, or you may give it away to another to bless them.”

A woman sat down next to me at the leadership meeting. Immediately we clicked. Her warmth, enthusiasm, and obvious leadership experience told me this was going to be a good day. When lunchtime came we found seats by ourselves as the remainder of the group filled up the nearby tables. We began discussing the morning’s speakers, our takeaways, and then our stories.

She spoke of nearly 70 years of career accomplishments, family highlights, and a strong emphasis on her faith. After that she began telling me about the impact of scripture on her, particularly the wisdom books. She continued to talk about the vision for empowering others through the words of scripture. The details about open doors, ah-h moments, and the sense of God’s tailwind carried us through Texas barbecue and way into the afternoon program. The lunch tables filled, and emptied as we sat there.

We finally headed for the parking lot nearly two hours later. She stopped me and said, “You have blessed me by listening. You allowed me to talk through some of the cloudy places in my dream. I want to bless you.” She opened her purse and pulled out a stack of crisp, new bills. Feeling very embarrassed I protested. Then she handed me a brand new $2.00 bill.

“I keep these with me all the time. When I am blessed by the Lord through someone I give them one. It isn’t a tip, it is my way of saying, ‘thank you for being used by God to bless me.”

Her admonition followed about the way to use it. I will keep that $2.00 bill as a sweet reminder of the precious time on a day when nothing like that was expected. And even more, it will prompt me to thank others for blessing me.

That bill touched a deep place in my heart. When I was young my widowed paternal Grandmother with very few financial resources would send each of her numerous grandchildren a birthday card with a $2.00 bill enclosed. As a child I thought little of it – I discounted the value of such a small amount. But as I grew older I knew it was treasure because it was the “widow’s mite” indeed. She blessed me.

Brenda’s Blog – March 7, 2023

“The difference is that they respect us.”

You would probably guess a long while but before identifying the source of that comment. It was a State Jail speaking of the guards. The incarcerated young man had much experience with correction institutions.

Currently serving in a private, corporately owned facility the remark came when asked to give advice for new guards. “Too many of them lean on their power, their toughness, and their spitefulness. They can be effective without dehumanizing and demeaning. The difference in this place is that the guards treat us like human beings, not animals. I guess, the bottom line would be… they respect us.”

Aretha Franklin famously made respect a part of the American vernacular, spelling it out letter by letter.

Theologians tell us we are created in the image of God. We are not a random gathering of molecules, but a purposeful creation worthy of dignity and respect. It isn’t always easy to see this in everyone, but when we do we can change lives.

Have you ever eaten in a restaurant and not even looked into the face of the server? In needing something we are asked, “Who is your server?” Not able to answer that we fail the second question, “What do they look like?” Practicing respect can begin in the smallest encounters.

You surely have been in a line of frustrated travelers waiting for news on a cancelled or delayed flight, right? Is it a peaceful, respectful place? Absolutely not! The airline employee with no ability whatsoever to change the circumstances bears the brunt of angry, often abusive customers. What a difference you could make in that person’s day (week, month, year…) if your response is respect, civility. Controlling our attitude under stress is an early step in expressing respect.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T is the recognition of another’s value and acting on it.

Brenda’s Blog – February 21, 2023

During a major life transition I joined a fine insurance company, led by an outstanding General Agent. He gave me tremendous opportunities for training, back room resources, and advanced studies. I tested well and built relationships with a high trust quotient. On paper I looked like a good fit as an insurance professional.

HOWEVER, as much as I loved meeting the potential clients, listening to their goals, and working for creative solutions, asking for money to create a contract was almost impossible for me. The problem with that was simple: insurance sales is a commission only business. Without selling policies all my other skills were of little value.

On the way to see a professional woman to talk about a non-qualified retirement plan using life insurance I felt the heaviness of being a single Mom, struggling to pay bills and rebuilt a life blown apart by divorce. I truly wanted to hide. The light turned red and I stopped, breathing deeply. I looked around and a house on a corner lot was for sale. The realtor’s picture and name was emblazoned across the marketing sign. BRENDA GOFORTH was her name. Yes, that truly was her name.

The tension broke, I laughed out loud, thanked the Lord, and went forth to the appointment.

A few years later I found my niche – management. I studied and received two professional designations, moved to the home office of my company, and served as an officer and regional director.

But thinking of sitting at that red light continues to encourage me. God uses even realtor’s for sale signs to keep us going. Are you discouraged, afraid, uncertain? God is there and speaking into your life. He wants us to walk in hope, looking for ways to bring blessing. He knows when the days are dark and he can reach into our world to give strength. Each of us can trust Him to tell us to “goforth!”

Brenda’s Blog – February 7, 2023

“Words change their meaning over a period of time – some become more gentler; others more crude.”

We talk about cultural shifts, tectonic shifts, and attitude shifts meaning the move from one position to another. Etymologists point to word origin, usage, and transitions over historical periods. In 2021 the editors of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary added 455 words including “flutter-nutter” which is a sandwich of peanut butter and marshmallow spread on bread. Another common example is “Amirite”- the derivative of Am I Right? And of course the universally used “YEET” which means to hurl or throw.

Growing up my Dad loved thinking he was “with it” by adopting what he thought was the teenage vernacular. However, when he landed on a phrase he wore it out, using it years after it was dead and buried. His favorite was “ooky gooky.” I was with my daughter and another friend the other day. They started talking about their teenagers by exchanging slang words (none of which I had ever heard!) And the rule of cultural confusion still exists. That is, if you used to say something was “bad “it was good. Or “crazy” meant unusual or surprising, but not insane. Strangely enough, the dictionary states “cool” is considered the most American of all slang words. It began in the 1930s to comment on fashion. It comes and goes, but manages to resurface – it is the phoenix of phonetics.

A good friend has an aged, World War 1 era scrapbook which belonged to his grandmother. The bold words on the cover say “Men Who Made Love To Me.” Understandably I was shocked (and then amused) as I turned the pages. It was page after page of letters from men she wrote while they were in foreign countries as servicemen. She lived in a small, Texas town where the troop trains stopped on their way to the coast. She greeted them, gave them snacks, and promised to write. For the entire duration she wrote dozens (perhaps hundreds) of servicemen… many of whom fell in love with this young West Texas lovely who faithfully wrote. The letters were a living history of the war, of their homesickness, and their desire to be back with family. In the finest sense of the word they did speak love to her… and she to them.

The Greeks had five separate words for “love” because one was inadequate for description. Christian love became known as agape denoting service, sacrifice, and the sacred. Western linguistics lumps everything from the erotic to the adoration for God into one word. Interestingly, our language does morph – the semantic shift does occur, but all cultures maintain a way of communicating the connection between people. One of the oldest of all words in human language is Mother which is considered to be 15,000 years old. The more our verbal expression changes, the more we seek to speak of fundamental human relationships and emotions.

Brenda’s Blog – January 24, 2023

“Damar Hamlin suffers cardiac arrest on field” scrolled across the bottom of the TV screen.

During the first quarter of the Buffalo Bills and Cincinnati Bengals game the Bengals’ player collapsed.

His heart malfunctioned and fell to the field, unconscious. The ordinarily raucous stadium grew quiet.

Members of both teams gathered in prayer circles on the side of the field, lifting this young player to the Lord. The competition put on hold, the prayer and concern for this young man became critical.

Crowds who had just moments before yelled for the tackle now sought the Lord’s mercy for this player. This was no longer winner/loser but cheering for the recovery of an injured man.

This example of human concern speaks to all of us, doesn’t it? Proper priorities come to the surface in the face of crises. A football game which is crucial to many fades in importance during a life threatening event. We put down our team colors and lift up our hands in prayer.

As we follow Hamlin’s progress, and we pray for his full recovery let’s take away the illustration of these football players from both teams huddled together in prayer. They showed us what ultimately matters – they showed us the source of hope and help. May we never allow ourselves to become so partisan, so competitive, or “our team” focused that we can’t stop, join in prayer, and understand what really matters.

We come together partnering with both teams praying for his full recovery. We are grateful for this moment to stop and carefully consider what is important, asking for the wisdom to focus on the highest and best.

Brenda’s Blog – January 10, 2023

“We missed getting the burritos by 5 minutes! If we had gotten in line 5 minutes earlier they would have been ours.”

I stood in a long line at the local donut shop as all the January 1st donut eaters waited. The drive through line was long; the indoor waiters trailed through the small place to the door. The solo employee patiently alternated between the drive through window and the faces standing right in front of him.

Easy chit chat began. “The person in front of us bought the last five burritos. If we had only been five minutes earlier.” Clearly it wasn’t going to leave this mind quickly. But several bags of sugary, greasy treats seemed to appease him as he and his nephew walked out with a cheery Happy New Year!

It made me think about the “if onlys” in life – good and bad. A missed plane, a cancelled restaurant reservation, a work deadline – these prompt us to wish for those extra five minutes. But think about those many times when you pass an accident on the highway and you thank God you weren’t coming along five minutes earlier! Serendipity displays the marvel of five minutes. Think of the time you run into someone coincidentally because you crossed paths. A joyous meeting occurred because you weren’t there five minutes before.

We value time greatly, don’t we? We frequently say, “just five minutes more – that’s all I need…” How precious are those 300 seconds. On this first day of 2023 we usually take account of the days and months available to us in the year. Perhaps we need to expand our thinking to those small increments of time – those five minute intervals can bring extra verve.

Happy New Year! Make those minutes count and enjoy a twelve months of life full to overflowing.

Brenda’s Blog – December 27, 2022

Three older, single women stood in the local Ace Hardware store depending on the kindness of the sales specialist.

The coming Arctic freeze sent all of us individually to prepare our houses. One lady was buying large bags of rock salt for her driveway “so she can get out if it freezes.” No precipitation is in the forecast, but she will be ready. She was sure days of thick ice were on the way.

The second lady, smiled and said, “I grew up in South Texas. We bought a winter coat and then wore it for 40 years! She was buying faucet covers because all her neighbors told her to do so.

The gentleman patiently guided us, but added, “I knew every faucet cover would be gone by this afternoon, so I bought mine when I came in before work.”

What did I buy? Faucet covers, of course. I am sure there are other preparations I should make, but this is all I can manage.
As I left I thought – “It is all a matter of perspective.” One woman was preparing for the second ice age; one thought this was “much ado about nothing,” and I knew I had to do something (even if I didn’t know exactly how to do it).

Aren’t most situations like that? We bring experience, emotions, abilities, and energy with us as we make decisions. We make assessments and judgments based on these elements. So many times we obstinately hold on failing to see perspective is personal. In any situation we owe others the grace to acknowledge their perspective and consider it as a possibility.

Brenda’s Blog – December 13, 2022

“Joy costs – there is nothing free.”

My son-in-law and I were laughing about the “privilege” of material ownership. He and my daughter had just completed winterizing their boat and undergoing regular maintenance. “But just remember all the happy hours you spend riding on the lake with friends,” I said with my positive voice.

He quickly and wise responded, “Joy costs… there is nothing free.” Yes, indeed.

Marketing and advertising textbooks tell us the word “Free” grabs attention faster than any others. This was true decades ago when I was in college and is still true today. Think of the way it is used and draws us in, grabbing us, even if just briefly. It got “eyeballs!”

But when we read the small print carefully we realize there is always a catch.

We talk about the gift of salvation is free, don’t we? We talk about grace as receiving something which is undeserved. But on closer examination we see that without a doubt – our salvation may be unearned by us, but it is NOT free… it cost the second person of the Trinity dearly. He paid with His life so that we could live forever in fellowship with the great God, creator of heaven and earth.

As we prepare to celebrate the Incarnation may we joyfully remember He came into our midst to bring redemption, reconciliation, and restoration. As someone said, “He moved into our neighborhood.” Yes! He became one of us, yet without sin. Hallelujah!

May you walk in faith, hope, and truth as you think about what Christmas means.

Brenda’s Blog – November 29, 2022

It is almost 5:00 on a Saturday afternoon. Every window brings in beautiful fall sunshine. The leaves are creating a patterned ground covering resembling a Persian carpet. The poem, Pippa’s Song comes to mind: “God’s in His heaven, all’s right in the world.” The crisp, fresh air invigorates and makes me smile.

Twenty-four hours ago I was gathering pillows, rugs, flashlights, bottled water, closed-toe shoes, head covering, and my charged up phone. Why? The weather report went from “storm predicted, to tornado watch, to tornado warning with those frightening words, “Find your windowless, inside place and shelter.”

For the next hours I sat on my ottoman with the weather warnings blaring “now crossing I-20, spotted north of Hawkins.” Thankfully the power stayed on. 600 of the 1800 homes in our community lost power, but through the several hours of hunkering down in my “tornado closet” the lights, TV, and appliances hummed along without a glitch.

Yes, we had a tremendous storm with lightning streaks, thunder, and rain, but the tornado turned away. I awoke to a classic November morning.

What a difference a day made!

Tonight I will go to sleep only to wake up with an extra hour. What happened? I didn’t time travel; I didn’t step through into the Twilight Zone. No, I crossed that mysterious, Congress-imposed “time change.” In the wee hours we fell back. I remember last year when I was traveling on this weekend. I went West gaining two time zones, so my fall back was three hours!

It takes so very little for an experience to change the trajectory of our lives, doesn’t it? A phone call, a visit, an invitation, a business decision – all can take such a short time with such long term consequences. Lively wisely means keeping our eyes open to see the blessings of each day and working hard to appreciate them. Each day is an opportunity to fully share grace with others, making a difference in their days.

Brenda’s Blog – November 15, 2022

“It just happened.”

The concept of randomness is prevalent in our society, despite all evidence to the contrary.

A friend explained marital infidelity with those three words. There was no recognition of the many decision points between fidelity and infidelity. “I certainly didn’t plan it- it just happened.” Denial.

To the contrary my Dad gave me an eagle with these words on the base: “soaring never just happens.” Thought, discipline, and sacrifice are foundational not casual coincidence.

Likewise, my current study of worldviews reinforces my appreciation for intentional, divine creation. The Designer brought purpose, function, joy, and delight together exquisitely to speak mankind and all nature into existence.

Think about your experiences; look at the patterns; and consider that they didn’t “just happen.” Take a minute to enjoy the process. And if there are darker chapters, understand the decisions leading to those actions, learn from them, and move forward in the light.