Even A Child

Brenda’s Blog – January 3, 2017

“Mommy, we need to pray.”

I sat at a table eating my sandwich at Wendy’s and mentally lost in my long to-do list. A sweet little voice broke through. “Mommy, we need to pray.” I turned around to see a young boy about 4 or 5 making a matter of fact statement to his parents. “You are right, honey, let’s pray.”

I thought about the innocence of young ones and their understanding of values. His quiet leadership made me think about what lies ahead for him. His clarity will serve him well.

Then I thought about the confusion we adults create when we have “situational ethics.” We compromise when it becomes inconvenient. We cut corners when it suits us. We learn to live in the gray areas.

In Scripture we read the words, “And even a child shall lead them.” Listening to that voice made me think about the small voice of conscience which speaks to me. I want consistency in my thoughts and actions. I want to avoid arguments with myself and spend more time rejoicing in the growth I see.

I stopped by the table as I left to thank the parents for praying – and for listening to their son. That is a family training up children who will be great lights in our world. Congratulations to them for listening then taking right action. May we all live like that!

Good Luck?

Brenda’s Blog – December 27, 2016

“Twists of Fate which brought strangers together in a life-saving event.”

The Weather Channel aired a special titled “Twists of Fate” highlighting horrendous weather-triggered emergencies which brought strangers together in dramatic ways. The situations were startling, but the “coincidences” and “twists of fate” dwarfed the impact of the experiences. They pointed out each turn which affected the outcomes – down to the smallest details.

The life-threatening stories were difficult to watch. But to see the documentary chronicle each turn and credit the fickle finger of fate prompted me to speak out loud to the TV screen (yes, I was alone in a hotel room watching this in the early morning hours). “THIS ISN’T FATE – THIS IS THE HAND OF OUR MOST HOLY, AWESOME, GRACIOUS GOD!”

This is the same God who sent Jesus as the “in the flesh” representation of the triune God. THIS was no accident, no twist of fate, no coincidence, either. We serve a purposeful God who intervenes in history and in our lives. PRAISE BE TO HIM.

Thanks, Weather Channel for giving me an opportunity to worship!

As we complete one year and begin another, let’s intentionally look for the many times we are protected, guided, and directed which feel like coincidences. Let’s enjoy seeing the hand of God in our lives. This is great joy for us and I believe for Him, as well. He loves to hear our voices of thanksgiving and what better time than that special moment we truly know is a “God-thing.”

Life Blood

Weekly Thought – December 27, 2016

Fred did not trumpet his good deeds. He believed in quiet philanthropy and giving without fanfare. He gave to operations because “nobody likes to give to paperclips, but organizations need them.” He was generous in his giving and supported many without any thought of a charitable deduction.

Thank you for partnering with BWF this year. We appreciate your prayer encouragement, and your financial gifts. We look forward to another year of stretching and blessing.

Life Blood

Sometimes you keep stories to yourself because they are very personal. Sometimes the deep satisfaction that they reflect keeps them private. This is a story out of my early manhood I have never told before, simply because it was very personal and a very satisfying experience. It didn’t need any broadcasting.

When I was a young man in this life insurance business I went into a lawyer’s office where he and his daughter practiced together. As I spoke to them, they were obviously upset and asked me what my blood type was. Although it was a strange question, I knew that they earnestly needed my answer. When I told him he said, “That is exactly what we need.” And then he continued, “My brother is dying in St. Thomas Hospital (in Nashville, TN) and must have blood immediately. Will you give him some of yours?” I happily agreed.

We got into the car and headed straight for the hospital. Without doing anything other than taking off my coat, I stretched out on a cot beside the man. They transferred the blood directly from me to him because his need was that great. He lived and was very grateful for the transfusion. He wanted to pay me, but I told him his gratitude and his survival were thanks enough. Financial payment would be inappropriate.

I never saw him again but the experience produced total satisfaction.

When our souls were in need of a donation for our salvation, Christ shed His blood. When our souls were perishing, Christ provided a way for eternal lie. Christ gave us something that we cannot buy – we can only receive it by faith… namely, His grace. “Would you be free from the burden of sin? There’s power in the blood.”

This week think about: 1) How sensitive am I to needs of those around me? 2) What triggers my desire to give? 3) Who needs to hear about the life-giving blood of Jesus?

Words of Wisdom: “When our souls were in need of a donation for our salvation, Christ shed His blood.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not withhold good from those who need it, when you have the ability to help.” (Proverbs 3:27 NET Bible)

Viewing Our Values

Weekly Thought – December 20, 2016

Fred and Mary Alice grew up in the depression. Their Christmases were very lean, particularly Mary Alice’s. As they raised their family, the idea of lavishing their children with luxurious gifts didn’t enter their minds. They wanted the children to appreciate a life that didn’t lead to extreme materialism. They wanted them to understand what a healthy life meant. Merry Christmas to you from BWF Project, Inc.

Viewing Our Values

The simple life is balanced. It is not necessarily devoid of tensions, but they are held in healthy tension. The wife of my good friend John Bullock used to say that she always wanted him to have two irritations at a time because, while having one drove him crazy, with two he could oscillate between them and keep his balance. She was a wise woman.

If our core values were manifested physically, we could see the grotesqueness of imbalance. Years ago I saw a man with elephantitis. It was hard not to notice his distorted features. I started thinking about the impact on people if we wore our value systems externally and others could see a tangible representation of who we are internally. What would a man given over to greed look like? How difficult would it be for others to look past the deformed extremity? How would your value system appear? What deformities would exist?

Great sculpture has to be balanced. Skilled artists can look at a mass of stone or clay, and see where the center of gravity is – where the balance exists. A mistake can result in destruction of that balance – and artistic disaster. Purpose is shown through the balanced life, just as the purpose of the artist’s material is displayed through his perfected work.

Remember the great story of the statue of David? When Michelangelo was asked how he carved such a splendid work out of the massive piece of marble, he replied, “Simple. I just cut away everything that wasn’t David.” A simple life has cut away everything that isn’t real to reveal true purpose. It is beautiful because it is in balance.

Think about: 1) How am I ensuring my life is in balance? 2) Where are my value distortions? 3) What is a good values focus for 2017?

Words of Wisdom: “If our core values were manifested physically, we could see the grotesqueness of imbalance.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Then he looked at wisdom and assessed its value; he established it and examined it closely.” (Job 28:27 NET Bible)

Live Well

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Brenda’s Blog – December 13, 2016

“Live for what outlives you.”

Bill McKenzie, founder of Pine Cove Christian Camps, used these words as the title of his recent book. Others advise us to plant oak trees or invest in mission activities. The underlying principle is living well by investing in efforts which endure longer than your own life span.

A friend told me she is convinced grandparents and even great-grandparents who didn’t know her prayed before she was born. I agree. “Paying it forward” is a common phrase we use to consider ways to bless others who have done nothing for us. I prefer “praying it forward.” By praying for the lives of my grandchildren, their future mates, faith walks, and children I am participating in the generational connection.

Taylor University names their buildings after great people of faith rather than using them as “naming opportunities” for large donors. They certainly appreciate those who contribute to the financial well-being of the school, but they made the decision to reserve prominent nomenclature for those who served the Lord and the Body of Christ wholeheartedly, regardless of financial support. In this way, Taylor honors those who gave their lives to something which undoubtedly outlived them.

When we grew up we were urged to spend money on deposits into the memory bank, not just things which would soon lose their meaning. Wise counsel (although not always appreciated by materialistic teens!). My parents are both gone now, but the memories last. They knew how to build up an account which would outlive them.

What are you doing to establish a project that will outlive you? What deposits are you making into the lives of those yet to come? How can you join Bill McKenzie in living for what will surely outlive you?

Who’s Calling

Weekly Thought – December 13, 2016

Fred respected clarity. He thoroughly enjoyed listening to people with “immaculate vocabularies.” He lived wanting to use his gifts effectively and productively. To do this required understanding and application.

Thank you for praying with us for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. We are an intergenerational ministry of conversation and connection. We serve Christian higher education by stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God. Your end of year financial gifts to continue our work are sincerely appreciated and well used.

Who’s Calling

There is a difference between a mandate and a call. A call is personal – it comes to the individual. A mandate is collective. While a call is an individual’s reason for service, a mandate is an organization’s reason for being.

A leader needs to have a sense of call to serve effectively. Prison evangelist and former All-Pro football player Bill Glass emphasizes this when training his prison counselors. He says, “You have volunteered to be a counselor, but you have dedicated your life to personify Christ in this prison.” He goes through a litany of experiences that a volunteer might find offensive and off-putting. But he knows the true volunteer will hang in, despite the possibility of being uncomfortable. The call is greater than convenience.

A call might change. A person might sense a calling to a different organization or a different form of service. Sometimes I think the call may actually lead someone out of the ministry. Recently, I talked with a pastor in Iowa whose primary ministry was Bible teaching. I asked him how he was doing, and he admitted he was unhappy. So were his people. I asked him, “What is your true love?”

“Winning people to Christ,” was his answer. “In your saint-saturated congregation, there is nobody who hasn’t responded to the gospel. And whenever you get up to teach, you don’t see a single soul who needs the message of salvation. You are by nature an evangelist. Have you considered leaving the pastoral ministry?”

“What did you do before surrendering to preach?” “I sold cars and I loved it because I got to tell people about Jesus. I loved it. But people around me said I would be a good preacher and my wife wanted to be the wife of a pastor, so here I am.”

He allowed church pressure and his ego to get in the way, and he ended up in the pastorate… and in the slough of despond as John Bunyan described it.

When I checked back he had graciously resigned, gone back to sales and enjoying his evangelistic opportunities. He misunderstood the nature of the call and stepped into a place for which he was ill-designed.
His heart to win people to Jesus did not match the mandate of the organization he served, so he altered the call. Now he has harmony.

This week think about: 1) How clear is my call? 2) What is the mandate of the organization I serve? 3) Who needs me to help them clarify their call?

Words of Wisdom: “A leader needs to have a sense of call to serve effectively.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’ Then Samuel said, ‘Speak, for your servant is listening.’” (1 Samuel 3:10 NET Bible)

Knowing People

Weekly Thought – December 6, 2016

Fred’s discernment enabled him to consult effectively, mentor wisely, and contribute thoughtfully. His ability to study people allowed him to grasp situations quickly. It also gave him the clarity to ask insightful questions.

The Breakfast with Fred Leadership Institute is actively planning for 2017. The February event at LeTourneau University as well as the April trip to Greenville College are both in high gear. Please pray for the teams and the schools. Pray for the glory of God to shine brightly.

Knowing People

Here are three simple things I have learned about people:

1) I have learned that I waste time in trying to correct other people’s mistakes and helping them become stronger in their soft spots. I should use the time to utilize their strengths and buttress their weaknesses. A lot of training program I have seen are geared to overcoming deficiencies – what a waste of time!

2) I have learned that you can’t change anybody else. Each person has to change himself or herself – you can’t do it for them. You can set up pressures or you can be there to encourage, but action can’t be taken for another. You might even create fear that will cause a temporary change but nothing permanent. We spend too much time affecting short-term behavior thinking we have made long-term alterations. It usually doesn’t take long to see if the change is real or not. If we forced it through artificial and external means, it won’t last. Think about a rubber band which can be stretched to a new shape, but once released will spring back to its original.

3) I have learned that people are the way they are because they want to be that way. I haven’t always believed this. In fact, early in my life I wanted to be a social worker. It didn’t take long for me to become disillusioned. When I recognized the true nature of man and the impact of our choices, I understood the power of personal choice. Now I am totally convinced each of us is the way we are because we want to be. We rationalize and think of all kinds of reasons that this isn’t true but the bottom line is: we choose to be who we are.

When an opportunity for change comes and we don’t take it (out of fear, comfort level, disinterest) we are choosing to stay right where you are. And, neutral is not a normal gear – we either put it in drive or end up in reverse.

When you choose to move through personal challenges, you are opting for growth and becoming who you want to be. One of the key elements of serious growth is a plan. Too often a lack of a plan is a way of rationalizing the unwillingness to change.

Think about this week: 1) What growth pains am I experiencing? 2) How am I evaluating my opportunities for change? 3) Where do I want to grow?

Words of Wisdom: “We spend too much time affecting short-term behavior thinking we have made long-term alterations.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason we also, from the day we heard about you, have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” (Colossians 1:9 NET Bible)

Into the Father’s Presence

Weekly Thought – November 29, 2016

Fred believed in the power of prayer. He was often asked to offer public prayer because of his speaking skills and his resonant voice. He accepted but often deferred because he shrank away from any hint of performance. Until he was bed-bound, he knelt by their bed nightly. This picture highly influenced his children who saw this strong leader in a posture of total submission.

Into the Father’s Presence

Prayer is both marvelous and mysterious. How marvelous that a sinner saved by grace can at any time commune with the Lord Almighty, creator of heaven and earth. In the night when I awaken and am tempted by frustration, it is so comforting to talk to the Lord about it.

I am not alone in my experience. One of the psychiatrists who helped select the first team of astronauts told me about testing them in absolute isolation to see how much they could endure. He said some could go indefinitely and when they interviewed them they found the “withstanders” were the ones who could pray. If we would only realize our opportunity for direct communication with the Lord, how much more we would do it.

I have found expressing gratitude to God gives me great satisfaction. Surprisingly, I found it increased my self-respect. It is so much better to live with and as a grateful person, rather than as a complainer.

Mysterious is the nature of intercessory prayer. How can my appeal affect God’s action toward another? Yet in scripture we are instructed to pray for one another. Realistically, I would be so frustrated if prayer weren’t an alternative when there is absolutely nothing else I could do for someone. “At least I can pray for you” is often heard. I want to remind them prayer is the MOST they can do for me.

Further, I have never believed that the number praying is the vital point. I just do not think God is swayed by mass numbers. And even more, I do not think God is any more impressed by celebrity prayer than others. I think of those I knew growing up in the mill district of North Nashville who were fervent prayer warriors. Their names were never going to be in lights, but their lives shone with the light of Jesus.

When we say “I am praying for you” we are joining the community of the committed. We are saying “I will meet you in the throne room.” We are together in the marvel and the mystery of the communing with God we call prayer. Keep on praying for one another – it is the source of obedience and joy.

This week think about: 1) How active is my prayer life? 2) What am I specifically talking to God about this week? 3) Who am I joining with at the throne?

Words of Wisdom: “If we would only realize our opportunity for direct communication with the Lord, how much more we would do it.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now, my God, may you be attentive and responsive to the prayers offered in this place.” (2 Chronicles 6:40 NET Bible)

Excellence

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Brenda’s Blog – November 29, 2016

“Food is essential for life therefore – make it good.”

As I stood in line at Chick-Fil-A I read the sign on the wall. The words of founder Truett Cathey made the wait more interesting.

What else is essential for living? Air, breath, shelter – certainly, but aren’t there many more things like relationships, sense of well-being, a purpose… these, too, are essential.

Recently I had a conversation with an extremely bright young woman who is exploring her purpose and her next steps. She wants to make them good; she wants them to express how essential they are. This fall we spent time with many college students who repeatedly asked us about making a difference through their lives. Unlike many news reports, we find this generation of students we meet at Christian colleges to be eager to see what God has designed for their lives. And moreover, they want to connect their experiences with opportunities to be of value to others.

The ideas of productivity and contribution are essential elements of a healthy person. We want to feel like we were put on this earth for a purpose. My Dad used to counsel young people to “find their uniqueness.” As a teenager he was given a paraphrase of Proverbs 18:16: “Take the gift that God has given, and use it, and you will stand before great men.” The actions of taking and using are vital to a productive life.

Serving others is a responsibility we can accept with joy. The more we know about our gifts, talents, skills, and passions, the better we contribute. As we focus on the essential aspects of living well, we more clearly understand that the goodness of chicken applies to all areas of our lives.

Steadfastness

Weekly Thought – November 22, 2016

Fred was consulting with a manufacturing firm in northern Ohio on November 22, 1963. He drove to Granbury, Ohio where their elder daughter was a student at Denison University. He visited and talked about the implications of the Kennedy death. He returned on Sunday to take her out to lunch with a group of friends. Walking through the lobby of the Holiday Inn in Newark they watched the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas. So much changed that weekend, but Fred was there – she could count on him.

Steadfastness

Frankly, I was surprised to find in my study that loyalty is one of the key elements in love. I always thought of spontaneity and extravagance as demonstrations, but now I have to add loyalty. Of course, when I think back on my life I realize how important it truly is, even without recognizing and naming it.

For example, during one of my hospital stays I woke up to see a paper taped to the wall with the letters YTCO printed. One of our granddaughters had made the sign because she knew the story behind them and how much they meant to me. Confederate Cavalry Officer Jeb Stuart always closed his correspondence to General Robert E. Lee with these words, “Yours To Count On.”(YTCO) When I told my family the story, they all adopted it.

Every time I woke up and saw those letters I knew she was saying, “We are with you, Grandfather, and we love you.”

I am a connoisseur of donut shops. I have given them my expert opinion from coast to coast. One time in Grand Saline, TX I was in one of the best. Across from my table sat a rural couple. She was dressed in what I think women call “gingham.” He was dressed in his best “go to town” overalls. He got up to pay, but she didn’t get up. I wondered why. Then he came back and gently, but firmly, picked her up. I then saw she was in a full body brace.

He carried her to their pickup while everyone in the shop watched them through the front window. The waitress turned to me and said, “He took his vows seriously, didn’t he, Mister?” Yes, he did.

When I think about God, His love always comes to mind. God’s love for us is evidenced through his loyalty to us. “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Our names are permanently engraved on the palms of His hand. He takes his covenant seriously.

This week think about: 1) How do loyalty and love work together for me? 2) What behaviors represent loyalty? 3) How loyal am I to those who love me?

Words of Wisdom: “God’s love for us is evidenced through his loyalty to us.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38,39 NET Bible)

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