Head in the Game

Weekly Thought – July 7, 2026

Fred loved exercise, if done by others. He teased Dr. Ken Cooper, founder of the world-renowned Cooper Clinic and Aerobics Center in Dallas one of his favorite activities was driving through the donut shop, parking, and eating while he watched others run. But he believed serving others meant taking care of himself. He chose manual “temporary” projects around the house as his favorite outlet for fitness. He was the king of duct tape!

Head in the Game

As a way of starting, let me ask you to take a piece of paper, draw a line from top to bottom, dividing it into two columns. On the left, list those emotions which you must discipline in order to stay mentally healthy. These are the ones that bring us mental discomfort or even make us sick. On the right, list the one that move us toward healthy living. For example, unrestrained anger, jealousy, greediness would be on the left; gratitude, excitement, and positive tension would be on the right.

The next step is to use our willpower to focus on the healthy and avoid the unhealthy. Until we identify them and their affect on us, we cannot do anything about it. But we need to recognize that emotions vary in their affect. Fear may be paralyzing and immobilizing to one person, while it is only distracting to another, or even energizing. I cannot make a list for you, nor you for me. But we can think about it together.

One important point is most emotional problems are not sin, per se. they are the result of being human and living in a human, fallen world. But we have to recognize that sin does play a part in some situations. When this is true, willpower isn’t the answer – repentance is. We must take responsibility for emotional difficulties that are sin-based. I cannot handle my rebellious spirit by calling it an unhealthy attitude. No amount of counseling will cure me. I must confess, repent, and go God’s way.

I wish there were an easy way to maintain a healthy mental life without discipline, but there isn’t. In many ways our will is who we are and who we will become. Actually, a harmful emotion can be turned into a good one by the action of this will.

Scripture talks about self-control and it speaks of it as a purposeful action. That is the way to emotional health. I found out a long time ago, if you decide to live with the unhealthy emotions, decide also to indulge and suffer. Health is a choice.

This week consider: 1) How do I handle negative emotions? 2) Which emotions are the best for my mental health? 3) Who models emotional health for me?

Words of Wisdom: “If you decide to live with the unhealthy emotions, decide also to indulge and suffer.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8 NET Bible)

Ask Fred

Weekly Thought – June 30, 2026

Fred believed in focused effort. Random activity rarely produces results. He also believed in effectiveness. Doing something for the sake of efficiency had little appeal to him. He was hired as a management consultant because he could identify the sticking points in organizations and make recommendations for positive, remedial solutions.

Paul D. Robbins and Harold L. Myra interviewed Fred for Leadership magazine, asking about his philosophy of management. This week’s thought features an excerpt.

Ask Fred

Paul and Harold: “You always appear so relaxed, even casual, yet there is below the surface, a lurking intensity. Does this intensity have a special meaning for you?”

Fred: Yes, I guess it does, for it is one of my gaugepoints, like a channel marker for a ship’s captain. Intensity is the boiling point of effort; the concentration of energy’ the tip of the welding flame. Most men of accomplishment have a special ability to develop intensity at the right time over the right issue. Jackie Robinson at second base could come out of his relaxed pose, snap into action as the play came to him, and then go back into poised relaxation, saving himself for the next time. Most pros have this ability. Only amateurs keep jumping up and down constantly. Many hardworking people fail to accomplish much because they lack intensity at the crucial time.

Paul and Harold: “Do you have a management system?”

Fred: “Yes. I like to find the essence of each situation like a logger who finds the key log, blows it out, and lets the stream do the rest. Almost all problems have a key log if we learn to find it. I try to decide what I’m trying to do, what it takes to do it, and who I can get to do it better than I can.”

Paul and Harold: “Say a word about executive systems.”

Fred: “I use this definition: “An executive is not a person who can do the work better than the others; he is a person who can get others to do the work better than he can.” My responsibility is to be a supervisor, not a superworker. This requires competent people. Selection, development, and motivation are key to the effective use of this system.
It is very important that the people who work for me understand my job. If they don’t, they often try to do it. That’s why I must know what I want to control. This is simple: I make a list of what only I can do. I add a few things that I prefer doing and that is what I hold on to. The rest I assign until I can delegate.”

This week think about: 1) What question would I have asked Fred? 2) How am I defining leadership? 3) What can only I do best?

Words of Wisdom: “Many hardworking people fail to accomplish much because they lack intensity at the crucial time.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But as for you, be strong and don’t get discouraged for your work will be rewarded.” (2 Chronicles 15:7 NET Bible)

Water Features

Brenda’s Blog – June 30, 2026

“Hmmmm, wonder what that sound is…” The distinct sound of running water intrigued me as I emptied my suitcases from two weeks on the road. Putting on my grown-up self, I followed the sound to the front porch where I found a glorious new water feature. But wait, I didn’t have a water fall added to my house!

Yes, a broken pipe was allowing water to flow abundantly down to the ground creating a pool…

So, what did I learn?

1) The kindness of neighbors brings immeasurable relief, especially when they can manage the main water cutoff;
2) Plumbers who call at 6:30 am are received with great appreciation.
3) Life is much like frozen pipes. What?

When our circumstances get difficult we seem to handle them well. We don’t show the strain or the stress… we look good. We adopt the “don’t ever let them see you sweat.” We push through.

Then, the pressure is off and we crater. A good friend had a particularly rigorous schedule for the last month. When he finished the last activity, an unmerciful virus felled him. He said he felt like it just caught up to him. When he was running hard he couldn’t stop to be sick, but the minute he let up – wham!

The same is true for my pipe. The break occurred during the subzero weather, but the frozen water held it together. Only when the temperature rose, and the melting began, did the pipe let go and release the water. It looked so promising as I checked it during the arctic weather, but only when the sun came out did I realize the damage.

“I am concerned about you when your parents are both gone.” My doctor’s words alerted me to the frequency of illness after a long caregiving period. “Make sure you keep your immune system in shape and prepare for the decompression time.” I made plans to navigate those post-caregiving waters to avoid the crash, knowing the seven years of living in the red zone might threaten my health.

Could I have prevented the break? I encased it in -30 wrap and spoke words of encouragement after each storm. “Way to go, pipes, you are doing a GREAT job!” But the builder of this house left them exposed and no amount of TLC could ensure their safety. We are the same way. Our environment plays a large part in the way we handle pressure. When we put ourselves into no win situations, we are usually left with damage control, hoping a “life plumber” will come quickly.

Plumber is gone; water is running; and, I am thankful for broken pipes which teach me the truths of everyday living.

True Comfort

Weekly Thought – June 23, 2026

Fred’s friend Steve Brown urges believers to be “free in Christ.” Freedom comes at a price – whether the blood of Jesus or the blood of Americans throughout the centuries. Independence Day reminds us of Fred’s last days when he learned to be “delightfully dependent.”

True Comfort

We walk together in this “vale of tears.” No one is exempt from the dark that sometimes obscures the path. We can comfort or we can sympathize – I prefer comfort.

Oftentimes sympathy is synthetic empathy. Sympathy is sometimes offered to a troubled person by one who is not with relative ease. Sympathy can get in the way of God’s work as Chambers points out, “Be careful not to work against God in sympathizing with those with whom He is working.” Strong words!

Sympathy can be an addictive emotion and one that cripples the receiver. Loss can develop into a syndrome of sympathy blocking healthy relationships. Conversations begin and end with an emotional discussion of the loss. No doubt Christ was cutting through this psychological thicket when he asked the man at the pool, “Would you be made whole?”

I usually ask, “When do you want to get over this hurt?” Then I follow it with, “What are you willing to do to get over it?” Pharaoh was not willing to do what it took to rid himself of the frogs. Too often when we have problems we, too, want “one more night with the frogs.”

I have talked about the ills of empathy to set the backdrop for the merits of true comfort. Comfort recognizes the hurt without placing blame. Comfort shares the hurt. The word “compassion” means “with pain”… when we are compassionate we are with the other person in their hurt. I saw an older widow comfort a younger one by simply asking, “It hurts, doesn’t it?”

Serious hurt always casts a shadow over alternatives. A man facing serious financial disaster came to talk. We explored options he hadn’t considered. They shed small rays of hope. When he left I thought how hypocritical it would have been to appear sympathetic, quote some scripture, and promise to pray for him.

Comfort is a process by which we try to find opportunities for healing, unknown avenues of explanation, and understanding. Comfort is never clichés. True comfort is unique, personal, one to one.

Comfort lights a candle in the darkness.

Think carefully about: 1) Which is easier for me – sympathy or true comfort? 2) What brings me comfort? 3) Who is hurting I can comfort?

Words of Wisdom: “Comfort shares the hurt.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3,4 NET Bible)

The Maker’s Mark

Brenda’s Blog – June 16¸ 2026

“Bourbon Trail” said the sign along the Kentucky highway. Famous distilleries (known even to non-imbibers) graced the landscape.
The exit notifications told me the distillery for Maker’s Mark was ahead. No, I wasn’t tempted to visit their tasting room, but it set my mind whirring. Maker’s Mark – what a wonderful phrase for Christians. Don’t we bear the mark of our Maker?

One of my cousins raised her family in Bardstown, Kentucky, home of the Jim Beam Distillery. Her daughter said everything in their house smelled like bourbon, including their clothes and their furniture. This beautiful little town is the home of the “Bourbon Festival” each year, welcoming guests from all over the country to relish their products. You cannot miss the sweet smell of success in this quaint community.

What is the mark we carry? What is the aroma emanating from our lives? I think Jesus gave us a hint when He said, “They will know you are mine by your love for one another.” Love is our mark. What is the aroma? As we lift our voices and dedicate our lives to Him we present ourselves as living sacrifices. We become precious offerings of praise to our God. We are to be aroma therapy for a world sinking into a stinking morass.

I love collecting pottery. The ones produced by the hands of artisans are marked as evidence of craftsmanship and pride of ownership. Mass produced items never have a personal signature. Who has signed you? Who says, “They are mine.”

In Ephesians 2, Paul tells us we are God’s workmanship. He has created us for a specific purpose and has designed us with work to do which will show His mark to the world. We are the work of His hands and we wear His mark with dignity because we are created in His image.

We are the distillation of His grace and in ALL ways wearer of The Maker’s Mark.

Setting The Direction

Weekly Thought – June 16, 2026

Fred and Mary Alice were married 67 years when she died in 2004. On June 25, 1937, they had $5.00 between them. Fred always laughed and said, “If she had wanted more, she should have saved more!” For their honeymoon, they took a ride on the trolley to downtown Nashville and split a Krystal hamburger. But they knew the direction they wanted for their lives. They were committed to family, contributing to the good of others, and serving Christ.

Setting The Direction

Most career counselors make choosing a goal in life our most important decision. I differ. Choosing the direction is more important than the goal. Our mature success comes in the direction we move, not in the goals we attain. Goals are more impressive, but direction is more satisfying.

Harvard Business School found many of their bright students learned to solve problems rather than identify opportunities. Setting goals is secondary to setting direction.

I oppose setting an ultimate tangible, measurable, quantitative goal for one’s life. Too many people reach the goal and find the joy was in the journey, not the arrival. “Is this all there is” is the natural response to those who set a title, an income, a financial networth, or possession as the goal.

Goals are set to confirm we are moving in the direction we desire. They are the road markers, not the destinations.

I prefaced my decision about life I wanted by visiting a graveyard and thinking about what is really important in life. When young people ask me for advice on finding a direction I ask, “Do you want to be useful or self-fulfilled? As long as they see these as opposites, it is going to be difficult for them to have a mature view of life. There is great truth in the paradox of the lost life as the found life. Being useful to others is the best way to receive fulfillment.

The best way to be useful is to use the talent we have been given. What we do well is sometimes so natural it is often overlooked. We are troubled calling something work that is easy and pleasant. If a person is talented in several areas, it becomes difficult to discern the key uniqueness. I ask them, “How do you want to be recognized by others? What do you feel most worthwhile in doing? What do you feel strong enough about to perfect? What do you enjoy completely, even the details?”

Then I ask, “What do you want for your epitaph?” for those are the words that ultimately identify the direction.

This week think about: 1) What do I want my epitaph to say? 2) How pleased am I with my direction? 3) Where am I deriving my greatest satisfaction?

Words of Wisdom: “The best way to be useful is to use the talent we have been given.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NET Bible)

Boy in the Mirror

Weekly Thought – June 9, 2026

Fred loved golf. He began playing when he was 50 and never stopped studying the game. At one time they had a weekend home on a golf course. He started picking up lost balls – when he ended up with 1000, Mary Alice called a halt. And, just like every other area of his life, he grew by asking questions and by continually learning.

Boy in the Mirror

When I wake up at 2:00 am and the little boy inside won’t speak to me, I know I am in trouble. For me, self-respect is measured by my relationship to that little boy. I like to stay on good terms with him.

Self-respect is the basis of excellent internal relations. It calls us to fulfill our mission, to use our talent, to improve ourselves, to become a person we enjoy living with. Self-respect must be a permeating influence in our life, centered in our heart and radiating out through our actions.

I was active in the development of 26,000 acres in Colorado which drew families from all over the country. The grandeur of the mountains, the beauty of the lakes, and the mountain climate attracted many who came for tranquility. Too bad many of them thought the surroundings and the excitement of a new development would ensure a fresh start and a peaceful life. Instead, the contrast between their external environment and their internal turmoil drove them away. They looked into the mirror and only saw ugliness. So, they packed up and took their problems to the next place.

There are some questions we can use to measure (or at least approximate) the state of our internal relationship:
1) Is my self-respect increasing? Where are the hollow spots? Are they growing or decreasing?
2) Am I content with who I am becoming?
3) Am I willing to be known for who I am rather than an acquired mask?
4) Do I have to maneuver my relationships to avoid closeness?
5) How deep are my relationship roots? Can they withstand adversity?
6) Do I feel alienated from my own relational history?
7) Am I trying to buy my way with others, binding them to me with a golden chain?
8) Am I making peace with my own mortality?
9) Is gratitude a growing emotion knowing I have nothing but what I have been given?
10) Am I increasingly willing to give before I get?
11) Do I feel my life becoming more integrated, bound together by my faith?
12) Can I love?

This week think about: 1) Which question is the hardest to answer? 2) How am I doing with the little boy (little girl)? 3) Where am I growing?

Words of Wisdom: “Self-respect is the basis for excellent internal relations.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May grace and peace be lavished on you as you grow in the rich knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord!” (1 Peter 1:2 NET Bible)

Everyday Facades

Brenda’s Blog – June 2, 2026

“Just don’t take your jacket off – you’ll be fine!”

As college student newly-weds, our schedules were chaotic. Good friends invited us to their apartment for dinner, and this was one of our first married couple outings. Only problem – I was behind on my ironing. In those days, shirts were button-down oxford cloth which definitely weren’t “wash and wear.” They required starch, much elbow grease… and time. On that Saturday night, I was fresh out of all three!

“I will iron the collar and the front of the shirt – they will never know and you will look fine.” Famous last words. Out he went in his faux-ironed shirt under a wool sport coat, even though it was a balmy fall evening.

They kept urging him to “make yourself comfortable and take off your jacket.” To his credit, my husband braved the hot, un-air-conditioned apartment with a smile, while wiping the perspiration from his forehead, and ignoring their offers.

I don’t remember if we ever told Ted and Kathy what lay behind the crisp shirt front.

For years I was in a sales world which espoused the “fake it ‘til you make it” philosophy. “Don’t ever let them see you sweat” was taken as reasonable truth. How foolish! We need to be willing to let others see that beneath the wool sport coat are lots of wrinkles. We need to acknowledge we don’t have all the answers.

A female associate of mine years ago was known for her painstaking efforts on her hair – at least the front of it. One day the comment was made, “Doesn’t she know she has to eventually leave the room? Why doesn’t she brush the back?” All of us have to leave the room, don’t we? When we are tempted to put up a front, let’s remember that.

Life is messy; life is wrinkled. Authenticity has a high price tag… but it pays high dividends, as well.

Urged and Spurred

Weekly Thought – June 2, 2026

Fred believed in discipline. Those four words are a powerful understatement to those who knew him. He lived his life considering and paying the price to make a contribution and to steward his uniqueness. He didn’t believe in “happy talk” which fooled people into believing accomplishment came without work. The wish ethic took a total backseat to the work ethic. He believed in motivating himself to “love and good deeds.”

Urged and Spurred

As humans on earth we are motivated and gravitated. The weight we can lift is the amount we can overcome, whether it is the press of gravity or the pressure of negative circumstances. Unfortunately, we sometimes underestimate the power of both and assume we are weightless. Mythological creatures crashed to earth when attempting to fly and human beings fall flat when they neglect to assess the need to overcome.

When the positive motivation for accomplishment is let go, the negative motivation for immobility takes over. This is why we cannot stand still.

It is important to measure our motivations. Here are three pegs for our thinking on this subject:
1) How do I define enjoyable activity? Have you ever attended a function and noticed some who were clearly miserable? They felt obligated to be there, but didn’t enjoy a minute of it. Positive motivation must be healthily enjoyable. As individuals, we have the right, even the responsibility, to decide what we healthily enjoy and avoid the unhealthy.
2) What am I doing that matters? So much of what we do makes such a little difference and it drains our energy and spends our time. I decided a long time ago to invest my time, not just spend it. What I mean is this: I invest my time in the people who are closest to me, the causes that are most important, those things that use my unique talents, and those efforts that accomplish meaningful contributions in the lives of others.
3) How am I implementing the needful? For example, I believe it is needful to do something every day that I don’t want to do, simply to continue developing my willpower. The will is a muscle. It may be our most important one and it must be exercised to be ready when called upon. Will power becomes flabby in a hurry. It cannot be made permanently strong. Another need is to take time with people from whom you get absolutely nothing but with whom you need to be human. Ridding ourselves of negative emotions is needful. The farmer must chop the weeds not just because he dislikes weeds, but because they use resources in the soil necessary for profitable crops.

This week think about: 1) How motivated am I? 2) What matters most to me? 3) Where am I most disciplined? Least?

Words of Wisdom: “One of the secrets of self-motivation is realizing when something doesn’t satisfy, more of it still won’t satisfy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Finally then, brothers and sisters we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received instruction from us about how you must live and please God (as you are in fact living) that you do so more and more.” (1 Thessalonians 4:1 NET Bible)

Favorable Odds

Weekly Thought – May 26, 2026

Fred walked his talk. Early in his life he analyzed the necessary elements for success and set about applying them to his life. His hallmark resonant voice was the result of much practice and study. His ability to distill much data into wise counsel developed as he applied himself to the discipline of listening. Success is not a birthright – it is earned through “paying the price.” This week’s thought is longer than usual, but was too good to excerpt.

Favorable Odds

Success requires putting the odds in your favor. I am not a betting man. I always tell people if I lived in Las Vegas I would rather own the slot machine rather than play it – the odds are infinitely better. Of course, this Baptist boy only knows about Las Vegas from hearsay.

Ten elements help you create favorable odds:
1) Make a favorable impression. You can do this in several ways: ask good questions, listen well, be colorful but not showy, accent one area of brilliance, develop a believable voice, exhibit poise.
2) File your flight plan carefully. It isn’t enough to have a personal plan for progress. It is also important to know with whom to file it for others affect our success. Don’t assume others know what you want for the future.
3) Make results your measure for activity. Each day I start out asking myself, “What are you trying to do today?” And I remind myself that results is the only excuse for activity. My friend Mason Roberts taught me, “Having done my best today, it will be easier to do better tomorrow.”
4) Maintain good work habits. A habit’s chief function is to save time. Harry Peckheiser said, “Good work habits are unnecessary when I want to work; they are only for when I don’t want to work.”
5) Leverage Objectivity. What can’t be done doesn’t need thinking about. Be neither a pessimist nor an optimist if it means seeing everything one way – be a realist.
6) Stay connected to your roots. America is becoming a “cut flower culture” – temporarily beautiful, but fading because she is severed from the roots that grew her. You can’t change roots and stay the individual God intended. Greatness is not grafted.
7) Rein in the Big Three: health, money, and sex. Health controls energy, and energy determines how much of our time can be constructively used. It is important to keep personal money problems from disturbing your job concentration. The path to success isn’t usually paved with unpaid bills. And sex, save some time and energy from it to concentrate on business. Be temperate.
8) Accept failure soon enough. A banker friend once gave his best loan advice, “Don’t delay a failure with your money.” Generally, it’s our failures we laugh about later on… a way of smelling the roses which come up in the graveyards of our experience.
9) Avoid panic. Don’t believe you can wait for a crisis before learning to think in an emergency. You may be dead. Proper reactions are the response to proper action ahead of time. I always do “panic practice” where I live out every possible contingency, develop a plan, and train myself to react if needed.
10) Be a team player. Even if you prefer individual effort, it is important to know how to be a contributing member of a team… most organizational work is accomplished this way. Through the synergy of team, ordinary people can produce extraordinary results.

These ways of creating favorable odds are small and undramatic, but effective.

This week think about: 1) Which of these ten hit me the hardest? 2) How can I share these with others to help them? 3) Where do I need to grow?

Words of Wisdom: “Results are the only excuse for activity.

Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord said to Moses, “I will do this thing also that you have requested, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.” (Exodus 33:17 NET Bible)

1 2 3 ›»