Everyday Facades

Brenda’s Blog – June 2, 2026

“Just don’t take your jacket off – you’ll be fine!”

As college student newly-weds, our schedules were chaotic. Good friends invited us to their apartment for dinner, and this was one of our first married couple outings. Only problem – I was behind on my ironing. In those days, shirts were button-down oxford cloth which definitely weren’t “wash and wear.” They required starch, much elbow grease… and time. On that Saturday night, I was fresh out of all three!

“I will iron the collar and the front of the shirt – they will never know and you will look fine.” Famous last words. Out he went in his faux-ironed shirt under a wool sport coat, even though it was a balmy fall evening.

They kept urging him to “make yourself comfortable and take off your jacket.” To his credit, my husband braved the hot, un-air-conditioned apartment with a smile, while wiping the perspiration from his forehead, and ignoring their offers.

I don’t remember if we ever told Ted and Kathy what lay behind the crisp shirt front.

For years I was in a sales world which espoused the “fake it ‘til you make it” philosophy. “Don’t ever let them see you sweat” was taken as reasonable truth. How foolish! We need to be willing to let others see that beneath the wool sport coat are lots of wrinkles. We need to acknowledge we don’t have all the answers.

A female associate of mine years ago was known for her painstaking efforts on her hair – at least the front of it. One day the comment was made, “Doesn’t she know she has to eventually leave the room? Why doesn’t she brush the back?” All of us have to leave the room, don’t we? When we are tempted to put up a front, let’s remember that.

Life is messy; life is wrinkled. Authenticity has a high price tag… but it pays high dividends, as well.

Urged and Spurred

Weekly Thought – June 2, 2026

Fred believed in discipline. Those four words are a powerful understatement to those who knew him. He lived his life considering and paying the price to make a contribution and to steward his uniqueness. He didn’t believe in “happy talk” which fooled people into believing accomplishment came without work. The wish ethic took a total backseat to the work ethic. He believed in motivating himself to “love and good deeds.”

Urged and Spurred

As humans on earth we are motivated and gravitated. The weight we can lift is the amount we can overcome, whether it is the press of gravity or the pressure of negative circumstances. Unfortunately, we sometimes underestimate the power of both and assume we are weightless. Mythological creatures crashed to earth when attempting to fly and human beings fall flat when they neglect to assess the need to overcome.

When the positive motivation for accomplishment is let go, the negative motivation for immobility takes over. This is why we cannot stand still.

It is important to measure our motivations. Here are three pegs for our thinking on this subject:
1) How do I define enjoyable activity? Have you ever attended a function and noticed some who were clearly miserable? They felt obligated to be there, but didn’t enjoy a minute of it. Positive motivation must be healthily enjoyable. As individuals, we have the right, even the responsibility, to decide what we healthily enjoy and avoid the unhealthy.
2) What am I doing that matters? So much of what we do makes such a little difference and it drains our energy and spends our time. I decided a long time ago to invest my time, not just spend it. What I mean is this: I invest my time in the people who are closest to me, the causes that are most important, those things that use my unique talents, and those efforts that accomplish meaningful contributions in the lives of others.
3) How am I implementing the needful? For example, I believe it is needful to do something every day that I don’t want to do, simply to continue developing my willpower. The will is a muscle. It may be our most important one and it must be exercised to be ready when called upon. Will power becomes flabby in a hurry. It cannot be made permanently strong. Another need is to take time with people from whom you get absolutely nothing but with whom you need to be human. Ridding ourselves of negative emotions is needful. The farmer must chop the weeds not just because he dislikes weeds, but because they use resources in the soil necessary for profitable crops.

This week think about: 1) How motivated am I? 2) What matters most to me? 3) Where am I most disciplined? Least?

Words of Wisdom: “One of the secrets of self-motivation is realizing when something doesn’t satisfy, more of it still won’t satisfy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Finally then, brothers and sisters we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received instruction from us about how you must live and please God (as you are in fact living) that you do so more and more.” (1 Thessalonians 4:1 NET Bible)

Favorable Odds

Weekly Thought – May 26, 2026

Fred walked his talk. Early in his life he analyzed the necessary elements for success and set about applying them to his life. His hallmark resonant voice was the result of much practice and study. His ability to distill much data into wise counsel developed as he applied himself to the discipline of listening. Success is not a birthright – it is earned through “paying the price.” This week’s thought is longer than usual, but was too good to excerpt.

Favorable Odds

Success requires putting the odds in your favor. I am not a betting man. I always tell people if I lived in Las Vegas I would rather own the slot machine rather than play it – the odds are infinitely better. Of course, this Baptist boy only knows about Las Vegas from hearsay.

Ten elements help you create favorable odds:
1) Make a favorable impression. You can do this in several ways: ask good questions, listen well, be colorful but not showy, accent one area of brilliance, develop a believable voice, exhibit poise.
2) File your flight plan carefully. It isn’t enough to have a personal plan for progress. It is also important to know with whom to file it for others affect our success. Don’t assume others know what you want for the future.
3) Make results your measure for activity. Each day I start out asking myself, “What are you trying to do today?” And I remind myself that results is the only excuse for activity. My friend Mason Roberts taught me, “Having done my best today, it will be easier to do better tomorrow.”
4) Maintain good work habits. A habit’s chief function is to save time. Harry Peckheiser said, “Good work habits are unnecessary when I want to work; they are only for when I don’t want to work.”
5) Leverage Objectivity. What can’t be done doesn’t need thinking about. Be neither a pessimist nor an optimist if it means seeing everything one way – be a realist.
6) Stay connected to your roots. America is becoming a “cut flower culture” – temporarily beautiful, but fading because she is severed from the roots that grew her. You can’t change roots and stay the individual God intended. Greatness is not grafted.
7) Rein in the Big Three: health, money, and sex. Health controls energy, and energy determines how much of our time can be constructively used. It is important to keep personal money problems from disturbing your job concentration. The path to success isn’t usually paved with unpaid bills. And sex, save some time and energy from it to concentrate on business. Be temperate.
8) Accept failure soon enough. A banker friend once gave his best loan advice, “Don’t delay a failure with your money.” Generally, it’s our failures we laugh about later on… a way of smelling the roses which come up in the graveyards of our experience.
9) Avoid panic. Don’t believe you can wait for a crisis before learning to think in an emergency. You may be dead. Proper reactions are the response to proper action ahead of time. I always do “panic practice” where I live out every possible contingency, develop a plan, and train myself to react if needed.
10) Be a team player. Even if you prefer individual effort, it is important to know how to be a contributing member of a team… most organizational work is accomplished this way. Through the synergy of team, ordinary people can produce extraordinary results.

These ways of creating favorable odds are small and undramatic, but effective.

This week think about: 1) Which of these ten hit me the hardest? 2) How can I share these with others to help them? 3) Where do I need to grow?

Words of Wisdom: “Results are the only excuse for activity.

Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord said to Moses, “I will do this thing also that you have requested, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.” (Exodus 33:17 NET Bible)

Work at Faith

Brenda’s Blog – May 19, 2026

“Splash Kingdom – Family Waterpark”
“Seek the Kingdom. – Matthew 6:33”

The interstate billboard caught my attention. I understand the intersection of faith and work. But, is it possible we sometimes transpose the emphasis? Is this perhaps making faith a marketing tool, instead of making the market a place for our faith?
Certainly, the owners are believers who connect their company with the community of faith. I have taken my grandchildren to their fine establishment, throwing themselves mercilessly down slides and traversing watery canals. I hold no ill will, but wonder about the ad campaign.

Just as the early Christians drew the symbol of the fish in the dust to notify others of their secret meeting places, we have our own Christianese. We speak in lingo, don’t we? We draw ichthus symbols, we wear crosses, we say “bless you,” and communicate in Christian code among ourselves. We think this will add a plus to our business among the faithful.

But do we take the significance of these symbols too lightly? John Peterson, a noted Christian musician once said, “in composing I cannot approach the cross with flippancy. I cannot take this subject lightly.” Perhaps we should think carefully about the way we handle these icons.

There are Christians in business, but there are no Christian businesses. Christ died in obedience to the Father for individuals, not for corporations (or even partnerships or sole proprietorships!) Our faith should be evident, indeed, but should we reconsider the way we market our membership in the most holy of all associations?

Ours is a sacred privilege – to bear the name of Christ and to have access to His Word, and His throne room. Let’s hold this with awe, not aw-shucks!

The Winning Leader

Weekly Thought – May 19, 2026

Fred met many interesting people on airplanes, especially in the early days before celebrities used private transportation. On one flight he sat down next to a well-known actor. He opened the conversation with, “You are in wonderful physical shape. I would be, too, but I have to work. (At that time he was affectionately known as Fat Fred for the 220 pounds he carried on his 6’1” frame) I travel a lot, so I can’t focus on fitness.” “Oh, I travel a lot, too, but when I go into the hotel room, I sit on the luggage rack, put my toes under the bed and do back bends.” Not to be cowed by this, Fred ventured even deeper into the weeds. “Oh, but what about your shoulders? You need to be in the gym to develop them like that.” “No, I roll under the bed and push it up in the air.” Fred’s conclusion: Successful people say “I will” and less successful say, “I ought to; I plan to…”

The Winning Leader

Strong leaders understand the key elements of organizational development.
1) Selection – there is nothing more important than selecting the team. The smaller the organization, the more critical is this element. If you have 10 people, then each one represents 10%. In the corporation, I always use a multiple interview process to protect my blind spots. “Fit” is the word we use a lot, but it means understanding the culture, benefiting the organization, and promoting the common good.
2) Removal – The employer who fires too many is actually lacking in good selection. I have fired very few, but everyone knew I was willing if necessary… that is important. I find an underperforming associate is generally dissatisfied with the company, as well. The greatest payback is having that person come back years later and say, “Thank you – you did me the best favor in my life by letting me go.”
3) Strengths versus Weaknesses – I never deal with people’s weaknesses. This may sound cynical, but after a lifetime of executive experience I am convinced people are the way they are because they want to be that way. People have some strange need to be the way they are, even if they continually talk about changing. Leaders recognize strengths and make people better where they are currently good. My goal is to accent the strength and help them move to a higher plane. I develop my strengths and buttress my weaknesses, but spend no time trying to turn weaknesses into strengths – it rarely happens.
4) Motivation versus Manipulation – If you ask people to define motivation, they often say, “Getting people to do what you want them to do.” No, that’s manipulation. You cannot manipulate an organization long term. Motivation is mutual advantage. You show somebody how you can both win. And if there is no win-win, you shouldn’t be in association. People want to be part of a winning organization. They want to experience the excitement of contributing to the win.

Think about this: 1) How do I confuse manipulation with motivation? 2) Where am I spending too much time working on a weakness? 3) What methods do I use for team selection?

Words of Wisdom: “Accentuate your strengths and buttress your weaknesses.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But the wise will shine like the brightness of the heavenly expanse. And those bringing many to righteousness will be like the stars forever and ever.” (Daniel 12:3 NET Bible)

Psychological Barriers

Weekly Thought – May 12, 2026

Fred saw potential in others. He thoroughly enjoyed spending time with talented men and women. Visionaries got his juices going. He kept mental files in which he stored ideas to share with them when they were together.

Psychological Barriers

Visioning is one of the critical tasks of leadership. But they must be careful to avoid psychological barriers. One of the things I enjoy most is blowing up the “bridges to nowhere” that these barriers create. Let me lay out a few for you:
1) Age – One of the nation’s top psychiatrists was visiting in our home (nonprofessionally, of course). He asked, “Fred. how old are you?” “50” was my answer. “Okay, start making longer plans.” When I objected he cut me off with this observation “When you start making shorter plans, you’re subconsciously telling yourself to die.” Interesting thought. People come and say to me, “I wish I had done this and done that 20 years ago.” My response is always, “Well, what are you going to do with the next 20?” A good friend was asked by his mentor Bill Bright, President and Founder of Campus Crusade for Christ “How old are you?” He answered, “68.” Bill looked at him and challenged him, “You have 20 good years left – make it count.” Age can be a stumbling block when it should be a platform for acceleration.
2) Education – In America we’ve gone crazy on credentials and degrees. We have three children who all have advanced degrees and we are proud of that, but I occasionally remind them to get an education while they are getting the degrees. I was unable to go to college a day in my life, except to lecture. I have probably lectured at more than 25 universities. Even today I meet men and women who feel “less than” because they have no degree. I remember feeling the indignity of being in a group of dignified academics who proudly identified themselves with their alma maters. I finally decided I had the right to not have a degree.
3) Location – “It can’t happen here” is a deadly barrier. As I travel the country I like to see where bold things happen, especially in places where they are not supposed to happen. Wonder why somebody didn’t tell the Mayo Brothers Rochester, Minnesota was a ridiculous place to put a world-famous clinic. Who told Maxey Jarman an international apparel company could be headquartered in Nashville, Tennessee?
4) Unbelief – “It can’t happen to me.” True leaders know there aren’t enough extraordinary people to achieve their greatest dream, so they must find the ordinary and light their fires. Yes, it can happen and must. Mason Roberts told me “Take one hundred people, spur them to each do 1% more, and you have a whole new person.”

Think about this week: 1) What barrier is stopping my progress? 2) How can I help others to do 1% more? 3) When am I most effective as a visionary?

Words of Wisdom: “Age can be a stumbling block when it should be a platform for acceleration.”

Wisdom from the Word: “That day the Lord brought honor to Joshua before all Israel. They respected him all his life, just as they had respected Moses.” (Joshua 4:14 NET Bible)

Keep Looking!

Weekly Thought – May 5, 2026

Fred loved to turn experiences into experiments. He once underwent dental work with a stopwatch. He decided to run the watch just when it really hurt, not when he thought he was going to hurt; now when he was afraid he was going to hurt – just when it hurt. He reported it was only four seconds! Not many of us would volunteer for that!

Keep Looking!

As leaders of businesses, institutions, and families, we need to:
1) Find Opportunities. An SMU professor said the difference between corporate and entrepreneurial is the perception of a situation as either a problem to be solved or an opportunity to be maximized. A Harvard study showed focusing on problem solving dulled the ability to see opportunities. But, opportunities have to be within the purpose of the organization. I once sent a quick note to my daughter who was always seeing “open doors.” “Opportunity is not mandate” was my cryptic counsel. Many businesses and ministries hang up “Out of Business” signs because they didn’t define what they did and adjust opportunities to fit the mission.
2) Define Problems. A problem is something I can do something about; a fact of life is something I cannot solve. Understanding the difference is critical to leadership. I have no use of my right hand because I fell on a Mason jar at age 3 and a drunk physician allowed an infection. Is that my problem? No, that is a fact of life. Have you seen people who spend their time fighting with facts of life? Stick with the problems – something you can do something about.
3) Look for the Key Log. An amateur will always try to move all the logs around to get them moving down the stream. A pro climbs a tree, finds the key log, and blows it out – then the movement continues. But you can’t kid yourself about what the log is and you can’t duck it. A friend who was a President of a bank called to say he was working himself to death. I asked, “Who’s work are you doing? Anytime you are overworked, you are doing work that isn’t yours.” He thought and said, “The cashier’s.” That was the key log. Time to blow it out.
4) Value Confidence. Confidence doesn’t increase your ability one iota. So, what is its value? It gives you the ability to concentrate. Concentration is thinking the right thing at the right time. Fear and cockiness are enemies of concentration. One distracts from accomplishment by saying “you can’t.” The other distracts by falsely saying, “you can.” True confidence gives us focus and allows our abilities to operate freely.

Think about this: 1) How does confidence help me concentrate? 2) Who needs to hear Fred’s words today? 3) Where have I transposed problem and fact of life?

Words of Wisdom: “Concentration is thinking the right thing at the right time.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who belong to the family of faith.” (Galatians 6:10 NET Bible)

Your Move

Brenda’s Blog – May 5, 2026

“Kennett, Missouri – home of Sheryl C_OW.” Clearly a mischief maker found great humor in removing the “R.” It made me think about the power of letters.

Think about the power of an “e” when you decide to be better, rather than bitter.

During my years of care giving I experienced many difficult and challenging moments. There were times when I felt truly overwhelmed. One night I sat at the computer, typing out my emotions. At the end, I realized Mom and Dad gave me the opportunity to see the Lord change “scared into sacred.” Holy transposition!

An old game gives you a word, requires you to shift one letter at a time, and then arrive at a completely new word. There is a great leadership principle embedded in this exercise. Cultural transitions aren’t made by jumping from A to Z. Making incremental steps allows the organization to stabilize before making the next move. They are shifting a letter at a time to complete the change.

Sometimes the word game gets off track because the moves weren’t the right ones. Isn’t this true of organizational morphing, as well? With each step, reassessment and review is necessary to see if the ultimate goal will be reached.

When we play the Scrabble game of life we want to make sure it doesn’t turn into a Scramble!

Tired of Boredom

Weekly Thought – April 28, 2026

Fred rarely allowed himself to wallow in the blahs. “There’s nothing wrong with me a little excitement wouldn’t cure.” And that excitement often came in later years with a phone call from friends, a visit, or preparation for his Fred in the Bed sessions. He refused to accept life as a dead end.

“I learned what it looks like to finish well as I watched Fred,” said one of the faithful Fred in the Bed folks. Each minute of life is a teachable moment.

Tired of Boredom

Boredom is the dry rot of our soul. It comes when we feel we’re not doing something worth the time. Or when what we are doing isn’t interesting, meaningful, or challenging. Boredom can also be the result of living life too efficiently and not effectively enough. When life becomes a series of habits and routines, our creative juice dry up and we prune up.

I remember hearing our children say to Mary Alice, “I am so bored — there’s nothing to do.” She generally offered a dish rag or a dust mop which generated a flurry of “let’s get out of here” activity. I usually said, “Well, what are you going to do about it?” We need to learn early on the solution to boredom is our responsibility, not that of others.

The pseudo-sophisticate who feigns boredom just to look suave wears me out. The danger of allowing ourselves to live in that mood is that melancholy waits at the door. We can spiral down by refusing to lift ourselves out of the emotional quagmire which grows out of constant boredom.

Here are three suggestions if you are bored:
1) Break up the repetitions of life. Sometimes the slightest alterations can create interest. When I was speaking constantly and a talk became routine, I would rearrange the points to pique my own interest and increase my concentration. Routine is necessary for efficiency, but life is more than efficiently managed time.
2) Add something to your life. Start a new activity, begin a new hobby, see the old things in a new way, cultivate a new friendship, do something specific for others each day. Don’t forget — the more bored you are, the less interesting you will be to others. As you add more dimension to your life, others will notice.
3) Take something bad out of your life. We all have junk that weighs us down and holds us back. For Fat Fred it is often those 20 pounds that pound away at me. The sedentary life is a doorway to boredom. Professional “goofing off” probably needs to go. Mary Alice and I spent a New Year’s Eve in Naples, Italy. Their custom is to throw everything they don’t want into the street so they don’t carry it into the next year. Bored? Try junking the junk.

Boredom is the sure sign of poor self-management and lack of personal responsibility.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I respond to “I’m so bored.”? 2) When is the last time I felt bored? 3) Who needs some encouragement to take personal responsibility?

Words of Wisdom: “Bored? Try junking the junk.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When Jesus saw him lying there and when he realized that the man had been disabled a long time already, he said to him, ‘Do you want to become well?’” (John 5:6 NET Bible)

Watering It Down

Brenda’s Blog – April 21, 2026

The weather news said, “Flooding in Craighead County – roads covered with water.” It didn’t mean much to me as I traveled through driving rain in Arkansas — until I passed a “welcome to Craighead County” sign. Life is sometimes like that, isn’t it?

Shortly after entering the flood zone I noticed another sign: “Road dangerous when under water.” The rain was coming down in buckets, but the cars were coming from the other side, so I assured myself it was passable. And, it was only 15 miles – how bad could it be? At the “8 miles to Jonesboro” marker I felt like I had been driving for hours. Seeing the water rise out of the boundaries on each side and lap against the road made me harken back to “when under water.”

It was barely light, the cars from the opposite direction were noticeably fewer, and then I saw water creeping across the highway. I could see the road in between and knew I had enough room to pass through on pavement, so I proceeded, but not without thinking about being the “foolish old lady” who ignored warnings.

God was good – as it got dark and the water came up over the road, I turned on to a US highway and made the last 5 miles on “higher ground.”

To the dismay of my children (grown though they may), who groan when I begin with “life lesson,” I saw some very distinct principles illustrated:

1) When Craighead County says their roads are dangerous under water, don’t ignore it. There are times when we are given distinct, discernible warnings and we choose to look the other way.

2) Tunnel vision in achieving a goal can blind us to precarious choices we may make on the way.

3) Stupidity and perseverance are not synonymous.

4) Always remember! We have a God who knows our weariness, sees the water creeping over our roads, and never leaves us.

1 2 3 ›»