What We Learn From Death

Weekly Thought – July 25, 2017

Fred’s longtime friend Dr. Haddon Robinson entered heaven days ago. Strangely, the material slated for today’s email was a response to the death of a dear friend’s young son. His thoughts as he sat waiting for the memorial service to begin help us all think about the way we consider death.

Your messages to us this summer about the value of our BWFLI Prayer Network encourage us.

What We Learn From Death

A young adult was being wheeled down the hospital corridor toward the operating room from which few thought he would return alive. He knew the prognosis as well as they. Nearing the door he turned to a friend and said, “What I have believed I now know.” Before this experience he could only conjecture. Now, faced with death, he knew that which he had believed was true.

As I sit here waiting for the memorial service I am thinking about the boy’s death and his parents. I think about how I will face the service. His death has gotten to me so much more than others. Why, I am not sure. However, of this I am sure: I must prepare myself for the service. I see two alternatives: Either as an observer or a participant. I could possibly be a mixture of both, but then I would never really be either.

There are three types of observers: 1) the curious onlooker who is solely satisfying his personal curiosity about a morbid subject – death; 2) the social observer satisfying the expectations of friends and relations that he be there with them in body if not in spirit; 3) A reporter-observer helping others understand and see through another’s eyes – a helpful, but less than noble motive. An observer of either any of these types would have to steel himself to the reality of death as a personal affair.

I have chosen, really without option, to be a participant. As a participant I cannot steel my emotions but must accept my individual vulnerability for his death is part of me – the bells are truly tolling for me and I must accept each pain and consequently deal with the total agony. I am hurt by this death. I am touched by his family’s grief, and I weep with the friends who weep. There will be a small group of those well-meaning escapists who will pronounce death a celebration and while I respect them I will not be participating with them. For now I must grieve for the day comes only after the night. I know “we grieve not as those who have no hope,” but we do grieve as those who have hope, but now hurt.

I share in the reality of death, not whitewashing, spiritualizing, or avoiding. I participate in this service by acknowledging my own mortality and the consequences of sin. But I participate by sharing in the truth of the Gospel for this family today – and everyone other one of us. Our time will come.

Please think about this: 1) How do I handle death? 2) When I consider my own mortality how do my priorities change? 3) Who needs my word of hope right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Before this experience he could only conjecture. Now, faced with death, he knew that which he had believed was true.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When David was close to death, he told Solomon his son: “I am about to die. Be strong and become a man! Do the job the LORD your God has assigned you by following his instructions and obeying his rules, commandments, regulations, and laws as written in the law of Moses. Then you will succeed in all you do and seek to accomplish.”” (1 Kings 2: 1-3 NET Bible)

Wisdom for the Workplace

Weekly Thought – July 18, 2017

Fred often thought out his counsel to younger ones who asked much like the Apostle Paul (Fred’s way of referencing him) wrote to Timothy. He outlined ways to mature for character development was uppermost in his thinking.

Encouraging them to grow in grace and walk in a manner worthy of their calling is our heart’s desire as we engage with college students. Please pray for our work at BWFLI.

Wisdom for the Workplace

One of the first principles of a successful job is stated simply: Do accept the first job as a complete challenge, and not just a step to the next one. Do the job well – better than anyone else, if possible. Add something to the job which didn’t exist before you accepted it. Another way to add value is to establish a better way of doing the job than the current method. Make it easier for someone to come behind you and learn it more quickly.

Talk and think about this job until you have mastered, focusing on where you are, not where you want to be until it is appropriate. Remember, this first job well done becomes your platform for the next step. You are probably thinking this is self-defeating and short-sighted. After all, you hear all the time to constantly focus on where you want to be. I disagree. Keeping your eyes and head on the job at hand and mastering it prepares you for the next step (or even steps).

You know I love golf, so think about it this way: The pros hit one golf shot at a time – each shot follows one after another. There is planning, certainly. And this planning affects the shot chosen. But once it is, everything else must be shut out, and the present shot becomes all important. Do you see how this applies to your job?

Get results where you are. Then look around to see what’s next. Your first job will be somewhat like learning to drive a car. You will have to concentrate very much on the mechanics at first. You won’t be looking at the view. As you become more proficient you can enjoy the experience of driving. But if you never master the mechanics, you will never become a masterful driver.

It is the same with a job. As you learn your way it becomes easier to do the job at hand and then experience the view of the terrain ahead. Also, you will be noticed as one who is capable and productive – a winning combination every time. Be cautious about talking about the next steps too early and too widely. If you get the reputation for always looking to get ahead it can be interpreted as selfish motivation, not participation in the progress of the business. It is hard to gather much support if you are viewed as only looking out for yourself.

Take each step seriously. And as the boy scouts are told, “Leave your campsite cleaner than you found it.” Prepare by learning everything you can in each position for you will undoubtedly find that those lessons are well-integrated into the next rung on the ladder.

This week think about: 1) Who in my circle of influence needs to be reminded of these ideas? 2) How am I doing at focusing where I am? 3) What encourages me to make a strong, workable career plan?

Words of Wisdom: “Remember, this first job well done becomes your platform for the next step.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people.” (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

Get Going

Brenda’s Blog – July 18, 2017

“Workout complete – great job!”

The bicycle in my community exercise room knows motivation techniques well. After 30 minutes of demanding rotations, it beeps then digitally scrolls these “atta-girl” words. Funny, but they keep me going when I get midway and begin rationalizing a shorter ride. My affirmation requirement is low, isn’t it? But it works.

The Apostle Paul talked of his desire to run the race well, receiving the victor’s crown. That reward is the “well done” commendation by our God. Certainly that is a worthy goal. The earthly workout is complete and there is a “great job” waiting.
Zig Ziglar used to say daily food and daily motivation are both necessary for successful living. We must fuel our bodies and spirits. The fumes of empty tanks, both physical and psychological, make poor substitutes. Just as cars out of gas cough and sputter, so do we when we run low on authentic motivation.

I have several friends who define their lives as “overwhelmed.” They feel the pressures of relationship tensions, financial shortfalls, life changes, and loneliness. It becomes difficult to operate smoothly… life sputters. During these periods, encouragement and inspiration provide impetus to get going.

My Dad’s wisdom influenced men and women for decades. His words spoken to others often helped me. But there were others directed to me which became engraved on my skull, ever ready for application. “Brenda, just start!” During a particularly difficult time he quietly listened to my moaning and responded with those words. Years later that motivation still works. Taking the first step or accomplishing the first task, (much like putting my feet on the pedals and rotating), kick start activity.

Consider carefully: What starts your engine? What keeps you moving? What motivation spurs you to activity? Be grateful for these prompts and techniques which enable us to live productively.

The Big Business Alternative

Weekly Thought – July 11, 2017

Fred experienced all areas of business organization. As well, he served on boards of businesses and ministries which gave him a broad perspective. Continuing his counsel to the young college student, Fred talks about the issues of aligning with large corporations. These comments were written in 1976. The business environment has changed, but not surprisingly, many of the principles still apply.

Prayerful and financial support for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is greatly appreciated. We are preparing for the national conference in 2018, looking forward to helping students answer the “what’s next” question.

The Big Business Alternative

When young business majors push me for the “best way” to get ahead quickly, I usually suggest “go with a large, well-managed corporation for experience. After a few years of learning excellent systems, then go to a troubled, smaller corporation in a place of responsibility where your experience and knowledge can solve their problems. You will have the opportunity to be recognized and rewarded proportionately.” This is general advice and should be taken as such. I tell them they need to work out the “small print” on these plans, because there will be some.

Now a few words about national or international corporations. This is where the power is. Do you remember Willie Sutton the bank robber? He was asked, “Why do you rob banks?” His answer: “Because that is where the money is.” In the same way, going to a large corporation is going where the power is. If you want to be a big fish, get in a big pond. At least there you will have a fair shot.

An officer of a large corporation has power with many in difference categories: executives, employees, suppliers, politicians, and customers. The fringe benefits are not only financial; they are also personal. This is one of the great drivers for corporate executives. Frankly, I wouldn’t give a nickel for an executive who didn’t understand the use of power. It is necessary for action.

In a corporation, power divides into two types: Direct and Indirect. Direct is for the line executive and indirect for the staff. If you want the power to be the decision maker – the one to say yes or no -then you want direct power. If you want the power to influence decisions (and decision makers), then indirect power can be most satisfactory. Both carry much responsibility. Personally, I have always felt very responsible for influencing men in key positions. My management consulting business was built on the principles of seeing the operation, the talent, and analyzing where the “key log” was to bring solutions to problems. Even though I wield influence, the ultimate decisions and responsibility belong to the leaders.

Select the power you want. Along the way you will probably experience both. This will give you ample opportunities to see where your talents and natural drives lie. Always remember, though, the use of power is to facilitate action which will result in positive outcomes. Power held for personal gain only will create an unhealthy (and usually short-lived) environment. Choose where you can make the greatest contribution.

This week think about: 1) Where am I most effective? 2) How have my work experiences influenced my current situation? 3) Do I prefer direct or indirect power?

Words of Wisdom: “Frankly, I wouldn’t give a nickel for an executive who didn’t understand the use of power. It is necessary for action.”

Wisdom from the Word: “However, Ahikam son of Shaphan used his influence to keep Jeremiah from being handed over and executed by the people.” (Jeremiah 26:24 NET Bible)

Turn of a Phrase

Brenda’s Blog – July 4, 2017

“We Made Too Much”

The sign over the baked goods caught my eye. The marketing department hit a home run. “Day old -on sale half price” is common in bakeries. I am drawn to their marked down items.

This header on the shelving unit made me smile. “We Made Too Much.” They could have just as easily posted “We Sold Too Little” and sent the same overage message. But someone understood the power of an apt phrase.

The book of Proverbs gives us this visual: “Like apples of gold in settings of silver so is a word skillfully spoken.”

The construction of words can greatly impact the effect. I am working on a shift from “have to” to “get to.” It changes my energy and my attitude. Dad told the story of Beverly Sills, the internationally known operatic singer, who prepared to leave an early social gathering by saying, “I must go for I have to sing at the Met tonight.” She no sooner uttered those words than she turned and corrected herself with, “No, I get to sing at the Met.” My challenge is to notice how many times “get to” can be substituted for “have to” and a marvelous lift occurs. For example, “I have to pick up my granddaughter after school.” That is a declaration of a task. But, “I get to pick up my granddaughter after school” comes with a smile and joyful expectation.

Another shift I am making is saying “Always remember” rather than “Never forget.” They both say the same thing, but one is strong and hopeful while the other has the sense of a wagging finger.

Shaping, molding, and crafting phrases is an enjoyable mental exercise. Considering the weight of words and their symmetry gives us an opportunity to create something apt. Ultimately, our expression can bring impact and influence.

Business – Family Style

Weekly Thought – July 4, 2017

Fred enjoyed fireworks. He took the family out on the Ohio River to see the celebration from Coney Island. A too-short rope on a brand new anchor curtailed the entertainment. One quick throw and it was gone – anchor and 3 feet of rope unattached to the boat. Life is just like that sometimes. Happy July 4th to all.

(This week we continue the conversation with a college student who is considering various business alternatives. This one is an opportunity for entering a family business).

Business – Family Style

Let’s consider your going into a family business where you are not one of the family. It can be very comfortable, secure, and also very, very frustrating. If you choose to operate as “one of the family,” it can be pleasant. However, remember the advantages always go to family members first.

If the patriarch who built the business is still active, he generally plans for a son or close relative to carry on when he lets go – if he ever does. No one ever says he has to retire. A friend of mine grew very dissatisfied by working in a family business. Promises were made to him that he would be the next President when the founder retired. It didn’t happen. He spent years counting on that assumption. By the time a change and he wasn’t given the leadership, he was too old to go out and begin again. Consequently, he ended up very frustrated yet very competent.

Another challenge is the family member who is raised with privileges in the business which are not earned, but inherited. This creates an unfair, and certainly unequal, chance for promotions. The other threat is getting cross-wise with members of the extended family. This does not just apply to active members, but all those who feel “deserving” of a voice in decisions. And in-laws can create problems, as well.
I know I have sounded rather dire, but I want you to be realistic about these situations. Certainly, there are some excellent family-owned businesses which expand the leadership roles. These are very good places to work and grow.

A word: any promises or stock, equity positions, or leadership roles should be in writing. If you bring additional expertise which is not available within the family circle you can find a place to contribute and be rewarded. But be wise and protect yourself against the vagaries of family businesses.

This career path will take more patience than you expect. So, don’t go in without financial and emotional reserves. Do your research. Study the history, the board make-up, the mission statement, and the involvement of direct and indirect family members. Understand their expectations. And protect yourself against assumptions which can cause bad feelings and frustrations.

Think about: 1) What would I say to this college student about family businesses? 2) How could I counsel other young men and women about career choices? 3) How did I “find my path?”

Words of Wisdom: “But be wise and protect yourself against the vagaries of family business.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will walk in the way of integrity. When will you come to me? I will conduct my business with integrity in the midst of my palace.” (Psalm 101:2 NET Bible)

Entrepreneurial Endeavors

Weekly Thought – June 27, 2017

Fred studied business from an organizational viewpoint, focusing on principles. In counseling college students he discussed different types of business models, helping them to set their career course. This Weekly Thought shares his ideas on entrepreneurship.

Entrepreneurial Endeavors

Very few people can operate their own business, especially from scratch. I have great respect for those few who have taken a very small business and developed it into a sizeable organization.

Research shows less than 5% can be successfully self-employed. The early failures are usually attributed to undercapitalization. I think a better reason is “pilot error.” After all, why was the business started with inadequate funding? Usually wishful thinking and poor planning – what I call pilot error.

When I left a large corporation to form my own company I had planned and saved for 14 years. However, I found two very difficult problems facing me:

1) I was required to wear all the different hats necessary to get the total job completed. As a corporate officer I had a general knowledge of the entire operation, but had specialists to call on. In my own business I had to learn to do things I had formerly delegated. This changed my management style.

2) The second change was psychological. I was now using my own money whereas as a VP of a national corporation I was using (and diligently managing) their capital. Money became very personal. This is a shift many cannot make who have tried to move from corporate to self-owned. Many executives cannot accept this anxiety. They can invest corporate funds, but not their own. This results in nervousness and missed timing.

Often corporate executives say they want to be in business for themselves so they become their own boss. Poor reason. In fact, the customer is the boss of us all and we should never forget that.

I made several misjudgments early, but the biggest surprise was my lack of control of my time. The freedom I thought I would have as owner evaporates – the responsibilities for the business control your time. You can’t run a business like a hobby – particularly in the early years. It is a tyrant.

Naturally, there are some great advantages: you can accumulate more equity; you can design policies according to your philosophical bent; you make decisions without being questioned or sanctioned.

If you want to be in your own business, I suggest you start extremely small, and grow as you become properly capitalized and experienced. Keep your ego in check and don’t try to become too big too fast. I have seen it ruin many capable people.

If you have trouble making yourself work, stay out of your own business. A corporate friend asked me: “You own a business and a boat, how do you make yourself go to work?” It never dawned on me because business is the means by which I express my talent, not boating.

Think about: 1) How did I decide which form of business to enter? 2) Where do I express my gifts? 3) What is my dream job?

Words of Wisdom: “Business is where I express my gifts, not boating.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Warn them of the statutes and the laws, and make known to them the way in which they must walk and the work they must do.” (Exodus 18:20 NET Bible)

Feeling At Home

Brenda’s Blog – June 20, 2017

“We’re here where we know where here is.”

My 94 year old friend Nance and I traveled 260 miles during the day on a road trip to celebrate her birthday with her son. The day began early and she was somewhat confused. She wasn’t familiar with the route and it took a while for her to start enjoying the trip.

When she saw her son, her face lighted up and she relaxed. We took a tour of a beautiful little Texas town then enjoyed a delightful lunch together. He and his wife recently moved into their brand new home. This was my friend’s initial visit. She looked for familiar furniture, but found nothing but one small piece. I could see her trying to piece together unfamiliar territory.

The day was joyful and she so loved being “out and about.” But she continually tried to put everything into context. “This is where I went to high school.” “You and I have been here before and had lunch.” Of course, neither was true. She struggled to accept everything as new. She wanted anchors.

Happily, as we traveled home she went on and on about how much fun it was to have a birthday party. She also regaled me with reading after reading from a poetry book she carried with her. Long after she transfers from earth to heaven I will remember her recitation of, “Jenny Kissed Me.” Or, hearing her tell me her Dad memorized and quoted so many of the poems in the book. The trip home just flew by!

Then, we turned a corner, came over a rise, and she smiled broadly. “We’re here where we know where here is.” What a profound thought!

Don’t we all feel like strangers sometimes? Don’t we all fight to put our experiences into workable boxes? And then isn’t it a relief when something feels like home and feels like “here?”

Energy Levels

Weekly Thought – June 20, 2017

Fred drew pictures for people to grasp concepts and apply them. He called his illustrations “handles on pots.” He wanted people to take ideas and make them usable personally and professionally.

Energy Levels

Life for most of us is somewhat like a two stage rocket. The first is physical energy – it ignites and we are off. As physical energy diminishes, the spiritual stage must ignite to boost us into orbit or we fall back. When I say “spiritual” I don’t mean religious, but activity of the human spirit.

I have seen two kinds of spiritual energy: ego and responsibility. I cannot tell in the production between the two, but I can tell the difference in the spirit of the two. Running on ego alone destroys a person like a machine without lubricant. The result is increased heat and then burnout. When our kids were learning to drive I tried to impress upon them the basic rules of automobile mechanics. One of them was fundamental: keep the oil clean and changed.

On the other hand, a sense of responsibility creates great energy – a uniting force which seems to get the person all together. It lubricates and so remains a protection to the machine. The faster the speed, the greater the lubricant. There is joy in the going with a well-oiled machine.

As I write I think of several friends – all high achievers. From the outside they all look equally productive. But underneath you see the ones which are driven by ego, and those motivated by responsibility. The ego lubricant will wear out and they are probably at risk for burn-out.

Remember, the energy fuel or lubricant is not part of the machine. It is external. It is an additive. The fuel drives the engine and the lubrication protects it against friction and heat. In some sense, we are all production machines. I am not equating being and doing, but in reality it is hard to separate a person from what they do and who they are. The two seem to generate a confluence.

You need to understand the differences in machines, as well as fuels and lubricants. Not all are gifted with high performance vehicles. But those who maximize the machine they were given by using the best fuels and lubricants can experience high levels of achievement and satisfaction. If you have a high performance machine, though, use it responsibly and in understanding. It is important to discard false humility. Always remember: humility isn’t denying the power you have, but admitting it came THROUGH you, not FROM you.

If you are given something great, then He expects great praise. Accept the fine machine you have, properly time it with excellent education, and break it in carefully with experience by not running too fast too soon. Select the fuel and lubricant best suited to your purpose.

Beware the leanness of soul by operating on cheap fuel. If you feel this, check the pump from which you are getting your gas. It may be mislabeled. Warning: don’t run too long on ego alone – it is dangerous stuff!

Think about: 1) How careful am I about the fuels and lubricants I am using in my machine? 2) How has ego negatively affected my effectiveness? 3) When do I feel like I am running “in the zone?”

Words of Wisdom: “Humility isn’t denying the power you have, but admitting it comes through you and not from you.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The reward for humility and fearing the Lord is riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 NET Bible)

Questions to Ask

Weekly Thought – June 13, 2017

Fred’s study of questions gave him an ability to spur conversations and to motivate others to action. A young man’s question: “Can I be a Christian and still be successful?” evoked a 39 page response from Fred. In typical fashion, he began the letter with a question: “Why do you want to get ahead?” This week’s thought is a short excerpt from his lengthy answer.

BWFLI is planning a conference for fall, 2018 bringing students together for an in-depth focus on mentoring, networking, and living out our faith. Please begin praying. Thank you.

Questions to Ask

As I seek to answer the questions you posed for me about being successful I keep asking myself “why does he want to get ahead?” Always remember: it is good to ask why before you ask how.

Behind every plan of action and every commitment of time and energy should be a solid philosophical base. So here is my question for you: “Why get ahead?” Climbing the mountain just because it is there isn’t a satisfactory reason. It is a platitude, but not an adequate motivation.

Do you want to get ahead because you have the unscratchable itch to win – to come in first – to have others look up to you – to gain respect? Do you want the things and positions money can buy? Believe me, it is unfortunate but true that in America position, prestige, and power can be bought.

Are you eager to get ahead to please your parents, impress your friends, or teachers? Do you feel God gives you talents and gifts for which you are responsible? (Think seriously about this one for it will have great bearing on the direction you take).

Your answers will have very little to do with how far you go. Are you surprised I say this? However, it will have a great deal to do with your mental and spiritual attitude as you go. Those closest to you will see, feel, and be affected most by this. Often when I am with friends who have become “successful” but unhappy, I feel they are living out the verse, “He gave them their desire, but sent leanness of soul.”

They are constantly irritated, never enjoying the fruits of success, and always moving on as if goaded by the spirit of their discontent. They are always coming to the truth, but never really finding the truth. There is no quiet center to their life; no eye of the storm in which they can lay down and sleep until the activity starts again. They have “quiet desperation” but long for “quiet adequacy.” They want a time of enjoying their options from their success.

Think about: 1) What makes me want to get ahead? 2) How clear am I on the gifts God has given me? 3) Who helps me keep my motivations worthy?

Words of Wisdom: “Always remember: it is better to ask why before asking how.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)

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