Leaf Peeping

Brenda’s Blog – April 19, 2022

My son Jeff and I stood in line at the New Hampshire hotel’s registration desk after day one of our fall photo adventure. I nonchalantly asked for a room with two beds. Her expression told me good news was not coming. “There are no rooms available in New Hampshire – it is leaf season.” Knowing I didn’t hear her, I asked naively, “Could you recommend another hotel in town?” “Did you hear me? There are NO ROOMs in the entire state.”

She directed us to a local schoolteacher who rented three bedrooms during the fall… it was a most lucrative side hustle! Jeff, three women on a girls’ weekend and I shared her house for the night and continued on the next day.

Jeff and I traipsed trails, climbed fences, and endured great rains in plastic ponchos discovering secluded coves with hidden ponds reflecting bold oranges, yellows, and reds. To our chagrin, we now know lighthouses were not built on the side of the highway. Trekking across fields and up hills to the stone buildings challenged us.

The paradox of autumn is the botanical significance of color changes. The chlorophyll factories energized during long, sunny days produce verdant, vibrant leaves. As sunlight decreases, the factory workers pack up for winter and the green steps back allowing the carotenes and the xanthophyll to gloriously appear. Ironically, an entire tourist industry is built on the dying process.

Poets, preachers, and philosophers eloquently (and sometimes not quite so skillfully) connect the linkage between leaves and human lifespans. As one whose chlorophyll factory passed peak production years ago, I embrace the sentimentality of the orange, yellow, and red seasons. There are moments when I exultantly exclaim “this is my season — let me shine — let me attract the leaf peepers.” Other times I long for just a few more years of green. But I do love the way God has a purpose and moment in the sun for all ages and stages. Finding contentment in all hues is His gift.

Internal Energy

Weekly Thought – April 12, 2022

Fred’s sense of humor oiled the gears of life. He appreciated the lubricating value of laughter. He also appreciated the use of motivation and inspiration. His dear friend Zig Ziglar was the preeminent influencer for generations of men and women. In this excerpt from a commencement address at Belmont University he challenges the graduates to maintain a high level of self-motivation.

Internal Energy

Motivation is certainly tantamount, if not paramount, to education. Education may be the vehicle, but motivation (and self-discipline) is the driving fuel. Most people who fail do so because they lacked superior fuel, more than a superior vehicle.
May I suggest a few thoughts on self-motivation?

1) Access your strengths – In spite of the current popularity of “overcoming weaknesses.” I am convinced no one will get very far in life spending time trying to strengthen weaknesses, rather than identifying and focusing on strengths.

2) Discipline your associations – accept the challenge to associate with champions. Owning the biggest house in a neighborhood of modest ones or being the largest fish in a very small pond are two examples of setting the bar too low. Think about your associations. Are you the most able in your group or are you constantly learning from those around you? Always strive to be the smallest frog – you will grow by this challenge.

3) Recognize definite goals – The Apostle Paul said, “This one thing I do.” To many of us are like the steam pipe with a series of drilled holes. We have steam, but it is being blown off in too many different directions. We are intrigued with all the opportunities we forget we can only master a limited number of activities in this lifetime. This demands the discipline of choice. In this graduating class there will be a few who find they do not have a goal, but the goal has them. They dedicate themselves to its end. A study of great men and women usually expose a “magnificent obsession.”

4) Understand the cost – if you motivate yourself either by discipline or dedication you will find there are genuine prices to pay. Probably the biggest price will be loneliness. You cannot be a leader and avoid it. Out in front you will encounter tough decisions. Often you will have to keep your own counsel and exchange the warmth of belonging for the loneliness of leadership. Another cost is tension. You cannot have the functionality of a spring without tension. You cannot have the placidity of a mule and reap the winnings of a race horse. In my study of leaders, I always find the intensity of success. May I emphasize this isn’t being a hard worker -they are intense. There is a great difference. Tension is not to be feared; but to be managed.

5) Accept the reward – In reading the biographies of the twelve outstanding men of science and business I saw that almost every individual mentioned the reward as the joy of accomplishment. I am sure if I turned around and interviewed these leaders on this platform they would echo this same sentiment. And I am sure up and down these aisles are seated men and women who share the same goal of accomplishment.

6) Correctly define success – my personal definition: success is the ratio of talents used to talents received. Developing the discipline of self-motivation is a critical element in a successful life.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I define success? 2) What would I say to a graduating class? 3) Which areas of my life demonstrate the greatest self-motivation?

Words of Wisdom: “You cannot have the placidity of a mule and expect the winnings of a race horse?”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people.” (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

Insecurity and Growth

Weekly Thought – April 5, 2022

Fred clearly differentiated between strengths and weaknesses. Contrary to some, he disagreed with the effort to overcome weaknesses. “Develop your strengths and buttress your weaknesses” was his philosophy. He observed insecurities as facts of life, not weaknesses. His thinking is most helpful.

Insecurity and Growth

All of us have our areas of insecurity… not just a passing anxiety, but the continuing lack of adequacy. Even when we sleep it haunts us in our dreams.

Actually, as we become more secure, we are better able to recognize and accept our remaining insecurities. For example, even the most emotionally secure might still have stage fright so badly they refuse to face an audience or some new experience. I have found some extremely extroverted before a camera or from the platform can become insecure off the stage. I have known “bigger than life” personalities who were afraid to be alone.

While we can borrow a small amount of security from others, we cannot depend on others for complete security. One of the most difficult and contentious marriages I know is between a tragically insecure woman and an outrageously secure man. She thought his security would become hers by osmosis, but of course, this did not happen. Rather than admire and benefit from his security she began to harbor resentment and stayed irritated. His equilibrium was a constant reminder and reflection of her imbalance.

Permanent security must be grown from within. This is part of the pain of growth. It takes a great deal of determination and discipline. Fortunately, it is not a disease of the will, so the will can become an ally and stepping stone on the path to security. I would also add that nearly as important is will power is a sense of humor. In my life I was raised in the mill district of a large Southern town, son of a Baptist preacher. I had no exposure to social graces or cultural experiences, so as I was offered opportunities beyond my background I ran head long into “social gaps.” We were grateful to have one fork beside our plate so you can imagine my chagrin staring at an elegant table with china, crystal, linen, and MANY forks! An inner sense of humor is extremely useful in relieving the pressures of embarrassment. The confidence comes, but it helps to laugh at the gaffes along the way!

Insecurities are a part of the human condition. We mature, fill in holes and grow, but it is a process that takes time, hard work – and often a good laugh.

This week carefully consider: 1) What do I consider insecurities? 2) When I look back, how much growth do I see? 3) How well am I able to laugh at (and with) myself?

Words of Wisdom: “The confidence comes, but it helps to laugh at the gaffes along the way!”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will lie down and sleep peacefully, for you, Lord, make me safe and secure.” (Psalm 4:8 NET Bible)

Your Dollars’ Worth

Brenda’s Blog – April 5, 2022

Recently a friend told me she gathered outdated gold jewelry and took it to Dallas where she sold it for a healthy sum. Gold closed just short of $2000 per troy ounce today. Trading in unworn jewelry for cash makes financial sense, doesn’t it? Especially in a market where gold is exceptionally high. But think about a gold bracelet or broach purchased for a loved one at Tiffany’s. It would be priced multiple times the market value of the gold, wouldn’t it? What makes the difference? The touch of the artist. When a master craftsman takes the gold in hand and draws out the beauty through design it is no longer an ounce of gold – it is a work to be treasured.

A decade old study analyzed the chemical components of the human body, looked at the market value, and determined we are worth about $1.00. But clearly we are more than a beaker filled with the 83 elements that make up the human body. Again, what makes the difference? It is really Who makes the difference? Scripture has the answer: “For we are God’s handiwork (workmanship), created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2: 10) We are formed by the most creative triune God who designed us purposefully and intentionally because He had the idea of who He made us to be. Our God is the ultimate artist.

Consider the Garden of Eden and the creation of man and woman. God took a handful of earth’s soil and formed Adam; He pulled a rib from anesthetized Adam to bring out Eve. He breathed life into them beginning the history of mankind.

The intrinsic value of men and women must be estimated by the “touch of the Master’s hand” described beautifully by Myra Brooks Welch in her poignant piece. She points out the fallacy of judging by social standards, appearance, and life experiences. Those who consider only “market worth “miss the artistry that creates a stunning “objet d’art.” We aren’t just a base metal or a collection of periodic table elements – we are the workmanship of a majestic craftsman.

Keep An Eye on the Rainbow

Weekly Thought – March 29, 2022

Fred considered himself a realist. He read an account of POWs by a survivor. The author remarked that the optimists were the first to succumb, the pessimists came next, and the majority of those who made it were realists. Fred emphasized the necessity of “keeping current” and aware of what is, not what one wished it to be.

Keep An Eye on the Rainbow

A young preacher pastoring his first church in a Northern mill town told of his conversation of the mill owner. “Young man, you have not seen me in church and you will not until my funeral. I own this town as well as the mill. This is my pot of gold. When I came here as an immigrant I heard that in America there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I found the gold, young man, but I lost the rainbow.” He didn’t have to lose it, but he did. Life is never a mandatory choice between the rainbow and the gold.

After speaking to a conference of Canadian corporate presidents, a group of us sat around discussing personal success and how to define it. One president’s contribution stays with me: “I would like to live rich as well as die rich.” He learned how to keep the rainbow and the pot of gold.

The rainbow, from its inception, has been the symbol of hope – the promise of ultimate victory and the relatedness with the eternal and divine. I hope you will live and die rich, but if you have to choose – live rich with hope, joy, and promise.

Recently, a restless friend said, “I feel a lack of joy in my life. I wonder if it is worth it.” He appeared passive and almost numb to life. He seemed to be acted upon by circumstances, pressured by events, and absorbing the pessimism of the joyless. He failed to possess the courage to take charge of his life and attitudes.

I often speak of “joy for the journey.” I am not talking about surface happiness which comes like the wind without knowing where or why. Joy is more than fortuitous circumstances. Joy is effectively activated when life is a struggle. Joy is the deep adequacy, the determined will to survive… that faith to believe “all things work together for good.”

Oftentimes I read of “secrets” of joy but actually there are none which people hunted and found like Easter eggs. No effervescent books, or esoteric cults can provide true, lasting joy. Joy is a result. It is a reward for life’s being well spent in hopefulness. It truly brings the pot of gold by following the rainbow. Joy is not measured in dollars and cents, but in a life well lived.

This week think about: 1) How would I describe my balance between pot of gold and rainbow? 2) What gives me joy? 3) Who am I influencing in making choices for a rich life?

Words of Wisdom: “Joy is the deep adequacy, the determined will to survive…that faith to believe all things work together for good.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And since I am sure of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for the sake of your progress and joy in the faith.” (Philippians 1:25 NET Bible)

Orange and White Striped Sanctuary

Brenda’s Blog – March 22, 2022

“I miss our Whataburger time.”

My Colorado friend reminisced about our monthly Saturday morning breakfasts at the Tyler Whataburger. Before their move our traditional time together allowed us to catch up, but more importantly, share Christian fellowship.

During those years we sought each other’s counsel, agonized about unsolved life situations, wondered about God’s direction, and praised Him for clarity as He shepherded us through rough fields.

We had no set date, just a text “have time for Whataburger?” The Lord prepared us for these times. He set the agenda and led the conversation. We sat at the same table month after month (we believed the Lord put a “reserved” table tent up on those Saturday mornings) aware of the brevity of time and wanting to strengthen each other.

It became holy ground as we opened our hearts to each other before the Lord. We built trust venturing deeper and deeper into private, often painful areas. The friendship grew and the conversations entered into critical topics.

Ralph Waldo Emerson greeted his friend Henry David Thoreau with this question each time they met: “What has become clearer since last we met?” How well that described our Whataburger times. We also queried the activity of our great God. Seeing His providence gave us hope in dark days and rejoicing as doors opened.

We didn’t need stained glass windows, pew kneelers, or even big black Bibles to know we were worshipping the Holy One. Our favorite brightly colored A Frame structure spoke of God as surely as the flying buttresses of Gothic cathedrals. We were in His presence as we were present with each other.

Heart Qualities

Weekly Thought – March 22, 2022

Fred was a truth seeker and truth teller before those phrases were in the current vernacular. He refused to dance around, play around, and definitely not goof around with what is right. Yet, he was not legalistic. He had great respect for the freedom attached to living in the truth. He also highly regarded those who chose to be life long learners, ever expanding their knowledge and wisdom.

Heart Qualities

Plato said if teachers do their job correctly, they awaken the latent teacher in each pupil. That enables each person to live as both teacher and student. My good friend, Jack Modesett, said his life changed his sophomore year in college when he found the joy of learning. He graduated magna cum laude and to this day experiences the magna cum laude life because he remains both the teacher and the student.

Let me give you two qualities of an educated heart:

1) A taste for a full life -Professor William James referred to it as “thickness” meaning life has dimension. It is more than surface; it is not shallow. Christ called it the abundant life. The Menninger Clinic studied maturity and observed one of the traits is a life that is a confluence of stimulation from varied sources. They are more than uni-dimensional. I see individuals whose function has taken over their person. This results in the sacrifice of true joy. To lose the excitement of being full-orbed is a tragedy.

2) The love of truth -We live in a fantasy world created by media, advertising, politics, even religious institutions. Their propaganda takes over eliminating truth. Father Hesburgh, when he became President of Notre Dame University was given counsel by Father Cavanaugh, his predecessor: a) Be right; b) Be human and c) be humble. David Rockefeller asked Father Hesburgh to join the board of Chase Manhattan Bank. He laughed and said, “I am a priest. I have never had a personal bank account and now you want me to be a board member?” Rockefeller replied, “If we don’t know how to run a bank we shouldn’t be here. What we need is somebody skilled in know what is morally right.” Later on, the President said, “At times when we got into moral discussions, the Board Chair would turn to me and ask me to determine what was right. I tried to eliminate the political right, profitably right, or popularly right, and tell them what was morally right.”

The love of truth goes beyond dogma and doctrine. It ultimately goes to that statement: “Truth is a person.” A Jewish philosopher pointed out to me that as a Christian I should fully understand that because Jesus said, “I am the truth.”

Love of truth enlarges my heart and expands my ability to exchange thoughts without rancor or ego.

This week think carefully about: 1) What three things would you say to your successor? 2) How do I measure my love of truth? 3) When do I experience the love of learning?

Words of Wisdom: “To lose the excitement of being full-orbed is a tragedy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Give instruction to a wise person, and he will become wiser still; teach a righteous person and he will add to his learning.” (Proverbs 9:9 NET Bible)

Handling Problems Realistically

Weekly Thought – March 15, 2022

Fred consistently sought to realistically deal with problems. To help others he established one of his most important pieces of counsel: “It is critical to know the difference between a problem and a fact of life. A problem can be solved; a fact of life is a given. To spend time trying to change a fact of life is foolish.”

Handling Problems Realistically

A former pro athlete, now incarcerated on drug charges, said “the drug problem is really about lifestyle. We are caught between our idea of the good life and how to handle real problems. Some of us choose to handle them by escaping into substance abuse.” I agree with him, but I think it may be even more.

It is how we define a problem that affects the outcome. A problem may be a hurt, a wound, or an emotional vacuum. The good life tells us we are winners; we always feel good; we always live on the high side of life. Movies, TV commercials, and celebrities support this philosophy. If we are down then we are in the “before” side of life. Sitcoms and advertisements solve problems in lightening speed making the “after” look like reality. In actuality, it may just be another layer of the problem itself.

Nothing in life brings instant results. Consciousness altering substances have great appeal because they tend to sell the user on the idea that they can check out and experience something else almost immediately. But sober, sane life doesn’t work that way. Nothing can transform us that quickly.

This is one of the reasons too many look for spiritual highs and spiritual quick fixes because we don’t want to do the hard work of solving the problems and undergoing transformation. We want to go from “before” to “after” in blinding speed, enjoying it all the way. It just doesn’t happen that way.

So, what too many define as the winning life cannot be genuine because it depends on the artificial, the synthetic, and the addictive to live at that level. Looking for the sudden high leads to lifestyles of degradation.

The periphery of our hurts may be temporarily satisfied by these solutions, but none of them touch the core of the problems. In actuality, the core and the essential hurt continues to grow, giving room for nothing but hopelessness. A pitiful alternative is giving in to the darkness and claiming worthlessness. The one who opts for this solution gives in and jettisons all self-respect.

What is the answer? The rejuvenation of the Holy Spirit. Nothing satisfies like the washing and changing through the Spirit. Through this comes true transformation. And this must come through an actual spiritual experience, not just head knowledge. But it doesn’t come without risk. We can’t do it on a trial basis. It is life’s total risk. But life through rejuvenation and regeneration is truly the only good life. All else may sizzle for awhile but will ultimately fizzle.

This week consider: 1) How do I define the good life? 2) What distinctions am I making between problems and facts of life? 3) Who is a good role model for genuine satisfaction?

Words of Wisdom: “Nothing in life brings instant results.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NET Bible)

Positivity/Negativity

Brenda’s Blog – March 8, 2022

POSITIVE was the lead line on the email. This bold printed word meant Covid had captured me. I read and reread the email, wanting to deny, ignore, or bury the information.

How could a word so closely attached to successful living be transformed into such a threat?

Thankfully, my doctor prescribed meds and after nearly 2.5 weeks of isolation, I was back to normal activity. But not without thinking about the impact of that word.

Norman Vincent Peale changed generations of men and women with a simple book entitled “The Power of Positive Thinking.” The word became synonymous with warm smiles, right thinking, and strong abilities to remember people’s names (and use them frequently!)

“Congratulations! The results are positive – you are going to have a baby next summer.” Dr. Cianciolo’s phone call initiated our journey to parenthood and the birth of Heather. I still celebrate the day of that phone call.

Today the stock market took a major hit. All day long we heard about negative activity. At one point there was a small rebound and the analysts cheered for the numbers “in the positive range.”

We are trained to look for the “yes” in every situation, aren’t we? We are schooled to have cheerful attitudes, dress for success, and strive for significance… all parts of a positive life.

But to expect a graph line which goes straight up is naïve. There will always be dips and dives… there will always be negative zones. And sometimes they are the times we learn and grow. Maturity comes through the navigation of rough waters, learning from the tumult.

Having gone through the covid experience I appreciate the irony of the positive result. Compassion for bed bound is stronger; empathy for bad medical reports is deeper; and gratitude for face to face interaction is certainly greater.

The power of positive thinking means understanding the value of weaving negative thinking and experiences into the tapestry.

Heroes, Not Celebrities

Weekly Thought – March 8, 2022

Fred wrote about the value of heroes as a critical element in You and Your Network. He differentiates them from role models, or sponsors. He once saw a study showing that our heroes at age 10 have a dramatic influence on our lives. In early conversations he was always interested in those people kept in the hero category.

Heroes, Not Celebrities

The list of those to whom we could profitably look as heroes is lengthy. They personify the traits of character and values we would like to make part of our own lives. For example, Booker T. Washington who accomplished great things in the face of obstacles others could not overcome. His nobility ultimately became the practical.

We are unrealistic to think our heroes should be perfect. The Bible recognizes their imperfections. I have always been convinced the inclusion of them is a proof of scripture’s inspiration. Capturing the complete person is a great help. In Hebrews we see those inducted into the “Hall of Faith.” The list includes murderers, schemers, adulterers, and even prostitutes.

There is no need to defend our heroes against anything except perfection. When we ask for perfection we become vulnerable to those who expose their weaknesses thereby trying to destroy their value to us. Heroes personify the value and the human capability of reaching nobility, but never perfection.

Expecting complete purity is unrealistic and unhealthy. To require our heroes to be flawless is to build on a false philosophical – and theological – base.

The media have done all us a great disservice when they attempt to exchange the lasting inspiration of the hero for the momentary excitement of the celebrity. Our son, Fred, first caused me to think about the difference between heroes and celebrities when he said, “The heroes of the early church were martyrs and ours are celebrities.” Herein may lie a great deal of the weakness of our modern church. Don’t misunderstand – I am not lobbying for those who go around talking like self-professed martyrs. That is not what fueled the early church. We know persecution has always been the great purifier. But persecution in the name of Christ, not because we create havoc. Emerson said, “Those who follow after celebrity sip the foam of many lives.” Today’s celebrities rise on a wave of applause and break on the rocks of inattention. They are surely a fantasy waiting to be exposed.

Heroes give us the desire and a roadmap toward virtue; celebrities give us a picture of vapid ego drive.

This week think carefully; 1) Who was my hero at age 10? 2) What heroic qualities am I pursuing? 3) How can I encourage others to incorporate heroes in their personal development?

Words of Wisdom: “We are unrealistic to think our heroes should be perfect.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Open the gates so a righteous nation can enter— one that remains trustworthy.” (Isaiah 26:2 NET Bible)

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