Weekly Thought – December 12, 2023

Fred started playing golf at 50. His fascination and love for the game never waned. He studied the game, used it in illustrations, and always carried “his sticks” with him – just in case! In his latter years he was bedbound and watched hours of the golf channel. He once commented to golfing friends, “I would be so much better if I were playing now because of all the hours I have watched.”

Morality versus Legality

Among individuals of character, the legal simply defines the minimum morality needed for a healthy, well-functioning society to function, benefitting the individual and the group. As long as no one wants an unfair advantage but rather desire everyone to have all that he deserves, laws can be simple.

Men (and women) of good will can have honest differences of opinion, and these can be covered legally in short order. Men of ill will use the law not for rightness, but for wrongness… this necessitates voluminous documentation.

Golf gives me an excellent illustration of the reason for law. Few games have such volumes of laws with such extensive interpretation. John L. Low, chief compiler of the 1902 Golfing Code clearly shows why. “The code of laws is being used by individuals to escape the law rather than to abide by it. They want interpretations which will favor their escape but bind their opponents. The pity of golf today (1905) is that men play entirely to win. It would be happier for golf if it could be remembered that the true good is in the playing, not the winning. The man who does his best and loses has wrought his play as bravely as the winner and is entitled to feel equal satisfaction from the day’s engagement. Those who will not abide by the spirit of the game cannot be trusted, and they need the law to birch-rod them into the ways of honesty.”

I have played with theologians who cheated – intellectuals who remained ignorant of the laws on purpose – and otherwise honest men who opportunistically made exceptions to the law for their own benefit as well as legalistic friends who would ask for interpretation hoping for advantage. These are all ways to get around the rules.

You could simplify a great many golf rules by stating: “A player shall not create any advantage for himself other than by skill.” This would do away with picking the ball up – cleaning it – moving it – kicking it – soiling the club – stepping behind the ball – and all such things which are really manufactured improvements for the advantage of the player. Yet human nature would cry out that these actions were merely a way of recompensing an unfair circumstance. This is their idea of a “fair advantage.”

Wherever morality far exceeds legality, there can be a reverence for the spirit of the law permitting the simplification of the law.
In my humble opinion, when golf became only about winning, Satan was given membership in the club. He sends some of his demonic minions our with every foursome shouting “Win! Win! Win! Win!”

This week carefully consider: 1) How often do I fall into the trap of thinking more about the legality than the morality? 2) What comes to mind when I think about the proliferation of laws? 3) Who would enjoy and understand Fred’s golfing illustrations?

Words of Wisdom: “Wherever morality far exceeds legality, there can be a reverence for the spirit of the law permitting the simplification of the law.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who conducts himself in integrity will live securely, but the one who behaves perversely will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 5, 2023

Fred once defined a cynic as one who would choose to ride through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat. He made sure he maintained a realistic perspective without lapsing into cynicism. He jotted down some ideas about overcoming cynicism which serve as the text for this week’s thought.

Overcoming Cynicism

Cynicism has no integrity. Even though it often properly evaluates the present, it has no hope for the future. A Christians we can never be without hope for tomorrow. Christians believe in the great possibilities given by God. It is our responsibility to make a difference, not to drop out.

Recently a bright, young executive asked me to lunch. He opened the conversation by saying, “I serve on several Christian boards and have been invited to join two national ministry boards. But as a businessman I have become cynical at what I see. You have been in this situation most of your life. How do you avoid cynicism?”

I freely admitted being involved with Christian organizations as long as I have been tainted by an amount – hopefully, it is the healthy variety.

I gave him an antidote: Maintain your sense of humor. In my experience there is no human activity (spiritual or not) devoid of human frailties. To me, humor eases the tension between where we are and where we ought to be. Tragically, and way too often, in the most serious business of the Kingdom, we act as clowns in the court. We play games, indulge in politics, defend our errors, and deny our temptations. All of these can be a source of humor. Sin garbed in ecclesiastical raiment is ridiculous. In such situations it is better to laugh than to criticize. I must emphasize I am not endorsing any of these sinful behaviors – just recommending a healthy objectivity.

May I share a personal illustration? At my father’s funeral both the elderly retiring pastor and the young incoming man shared the platform. I knew how this would work so I wrote a note to my brother, “Watch this!” Sure enough, the outgoing man widely known for his vast Bible memorization skills began with passage after passage. The younger man looked uncomfortable, but literally rose to the occasion drawing on all his recently acquired homiletical skills. I could have become cynical but I knew my Dad as a Baptist preacher influenced by George Truett and W.A. Criswell would have thoroughly enjoyed it. Both men were men of fine spirit and sincerity who just got caught up in a situation that became a contest.
To become cynical would have been to deny the present reality. To allow cynicism to overshadow the truth of their words would defeat their goal.

As Christians we have the responsibility to accurately assess the environment and respond appropriately. Maturity allows us to see without falling into unhealthy cynicism. We always want to be realistic, but keep our minds centered on the truth of the higher things.

This week think about: 1) When do I tend to become cynical? 2) How do I discipline myself to see reality without jumping into a glass bottom boat? 3) Who models healthy maturity?

Words of Wisdom: “It is our responsibility to make a difference, not to drop out.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But whoever is among the living has hope.”(Ecclesiastes 9:9(a) NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – November 28, 2023

Fred highly regarded authenticity while highly disparaging “phonies.” During his life giving up the rat race and choosing the simple life became the rage numerous times. He watched the cycles and offered his insights in a Sunday School lesson at Highland Park Presbyterian Church’s Elliott class. This week we excerpt his thoughts.

Living Simply

Living a simple life means we come to the point of defining a lifestyle to which we can apply common sense organization.

Richard Foster says, “Contemporary culture lacks both the inward reality and the outward lifestyle of simplicity. Inwardly, modern man is fractured and fragmented. He is trapped in a maze of competing attachments. One moment he makes decision on the basis of sound reason, the next moment out of fear of what others will think of him. He has no unity or focus around which life is oriented.”

We can see evidences of a simple life around us. What are they? Where do we see them? I think the Quakers have done a better job than any other group I know in fully understanding the dynamics, the beauty, and the elegance of the simple life. Therefore let me quote: “Experiencing the inward reality liberates us outwardly. Speech becomes truthful and honest. The lust for status and position is gone, because we no longer need status or position. We cease from showy extravagance, not on the grounds of being unable to afford it, but on the grounds of principle. Our goods become available to others, we join the experience that Richard E. Byrd recorded in his journal after months alone in the barren arctic, ‘I am learning that a man can live profoundly without masses of things. ’” (Note: no reference included)

The simple life is more than “simply living.” It takes consideration, evaluation, formulation, and action. When we take the true measure of what really counts we can move toward simplicity. We define our lifestyle and shut out all other voices that would distract and draw us away from our intentional purpose. Mary Alice and I had friends who established a lifestyle which was not one of the “rising tide.” As the family income rose, they didn’t change their way of life, but maintained the original bar which they had prayerfully established. Everything above was used to help Christian work.

Joseph Brackett, the Shaker hymnist gave us these memorable words: “’Tis the gift to be simple, ‘tis the gift to be free; ‘Tis the gift to come down where I ought to be.

My friend Fenelon says, “when we live in interior simplicity… we see it near to and continually with pure eyes – oh how amiable this simplicity is.”

This week think carefully about: 1) How often do I think a “simple life” would be so much easier? 2) What does a simple life mean for me, my work, my family, my community? 3) What can I do to live in this cultural moment as a positive influence?

Words of Wisdom: “The simple life is more than ‘simply living.’”

Wisdom from the Word: “Yet when I reflected on everything I had accomplished and on all the effort that I had expended to accomplish it, I concluded: ‘All these achievements and possessions are ultimately profitless – like chasing the wind!’” (Ecclesiastes 2:11 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 31, 2023

Fred consistently evaluated his priorities. His reminder to himself and others was “always stay current with the facts.” Fred’s life theme of “stretching others” played out to the end of his life. Even in ICU those who looked to his mentorship and wisdom visited. Bill Glass came to sit beside his bed and brought his notebook in case Fred had periods to consciousness to answer questions!

Define Priorities

Often we hear people say, “After I get rich I’ll get righteous.” This is the deception of money – it can distract us from what really matters. Instead of being a means it becomes the end. Mary Alice and I have always reminded the children “Money is a tool, not an idol.” It is easy to fall into lazy patterns which make becoming who we want to be difficult. Making sure we line up our priorities correctly is a sure sign of maturity. Key life and priority checks and changers are the trials that come.

Major trouble challenges our priorities. It also revises, and I might even say, purifies. We decide what really matters. Trouble also gives us an opportunity to look at the situation realistically and assess the odds. A good friend after being diagnosed with leukemia told me “Fred, I had always believed in God, but for most of my life I couldn’t make sense of spiritual things, so I chose to just ignore the subject. I knew I would have to deal with my personal spirituality someday, but I wasn’t in any hurry. Cancer changed that.”

Our priorities benefit from trials in various ways – here are three:

1) We define the necessities. So much of our time and effort is spent (or better said, wasted) in the superficialities of life.

2) We ask ourselves “Am I happy with who am I becoming?” Often people come to talk and I ask this question. When they are looking for direction they usually answer, “Well, no, but I intend to be someday.” Without clarity in direction and progress “someday” rarely comes.

3) We think about how we want to be remembered. Trouble makes us think about legacy. What do we want on our tombstone? (NOTE: Fred wanted “He stretched others.” He did and those words are on the face of his stone in Restland Cemetery.)

When we have answered those questions then we know how to invest our time, energy, and attention. The answers give us a framework for prioritizing – or reprioritizing. We are stewards of these resources. Good management requires periodic inventory reviews to make sure we are making highest and best use of all resources.

During the dark financial days of the 1980s Dallas lost the stability of its three legs of its commercial stool: banking, energy, and real estate. Prosperity and prominence cratered. Formerly social leaders lost great wealth and position. One couple came to my office to talk about their situation. They told me when they saw an entirely new lifestyle they made a list of those who were friends because of social obligations and connections. Then they made a list of those who would truly be friends when and if they were broke. The second list was considerably shorter than the first. Their next step was to prioritize their time, focusing on the relationships that were healthy and true.

They understood what direction they wanted for their lives and surely were happy with the people they were becoming.

This week think about: 1) How do I answer Fred’s questions? 2) What would my “If I were broke” list look like? 3) Who can I help establish mature priorities?

Words of Wisdom: “Good management requires periodic inventory reviews to make sure we are making highest and best use of all resources.”

Wisdom from the Word: “From whom does he receive directions? Who teaches him the correct way to do things, or imparts knowledge to him, or instructs him in skillful design?” (Isaiah 40:14 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 24, 2023

Fred often listened to men who came to his office talking about “needing more freedom.” They were surprised when he didn’t give them the old “follow your heart” talk, but rather emphasized the price of freedom and its price tag.

Seeking Freedom

Some leaders in business and in ministry I know feel trapped… “I’m called by God to do this, but I don’t like certain aspects of the job and I don’t feel free to change them.” This regularly depresses them. Pastors sometimes feel like slaves to the church, and know that slaves have very few options. They have emotional options, of course – they can be dedicated, enthusiastic, willing to use their best talents, or they can drag their feet, insolent, and difficult to get along with. They do have internal control. My friends who are business leaders experience the same entrapment, but have the same attitudinal options.

When feeling trapped they key is to recognize you’re serving the wrong master. We are all to be slaves of Christ, not slaves of the church or the corporation. This freedom to serve Christ alone, however, requires discipline. It comes with a price. All freedom does. One of my wife’s friends once told her, “Your husband has more freedom to express his opinion than anybody else I’ve ever met.” Mary Alice replied, “He pays a price for it.” It is true. Mavericks must accept the price of being an outsider. So we who want to be free to serve Christ alone must accept the cost. It is dishonest to want the benefits without paying the price.

A lot of people try to lease freedom instead of buying it. Leasing (trying in small ways to be something you’re not in order to please people) is cheaper. It provides some breathing room. But by leasing you never gain ultimate freedom. Freedom must be purchased – and the price is not set by you. You decide you want it and then you pay whatever it costs. If you try to acquire it at a price you determine, be aware you are leasing, not owning.

The price of freedom to serve Christ alone is often your willingness to be disliked. It may cost you your job. It may cost you some relationships. You may be ostracized by your peers. But there is a value that is priceless.

The desire for total freedom has to be tempered. Freedom is not irresponsibility. Freedom is an environment in which you discharge your responsibility. I believe one reason for America’s productivity is that for the first time in history responsible people have lived and worked in an environment of freedom. The Puritan conscience carried the message: “You have a talent which you have to steward; one day you’ll stand before God and be judged for the way you developed it.” When you put that mindset into an environment of freedom you have the potential for tremendous productivity.

The more total we can make our commitment to Christ, the freer we can be. The ore we discipline our desires, the stronger will be our opportunities for a life well-lived. When we understand true freedom does not represent lack of constraint but the ability to restrict ourselves in order to accomplish our soul’s deepest yearnings.

This week think carefully about: 1) When do I think “I wish I had more freedom”? 2) How have I determined to calculate the cost of true freedom? 3) Who models freedom in Christ for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Freedom is not irresponsibility. Freedom is an environment in which you discharge your responsibility.”

Wisdom from the Word: Call to Faithful Stewardship: “Get dressed for service and keep your lamps burning.” (Luke 13:35 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 17, 2023

Fred thought much about the words of William Barclay’s prayer. “Lord grant us: in our work, satisfaction; in our study, wisdom; in our pleasure, gladness; and in our love loyalty.” He taught a series of lessons on each of the five phrases to the Elliott class of Highland Park Presbyterian Church. One of the most important elements to Fred were the words: “In our study, wisdom.”

The Process of Wisdom

William Barclay, who spent his life studying, realized that wisdom came by process. The scripture talks about getting knowledge and then understanding and then wisdom. In America we are long on knowledge, but short on wisdom. We educate the head so much better than we educate the heart. So often you hear someone say, “How can anyone that smart be that dumb?” Their head is smart, but their heart is ignorant. The major problems we face today are not because we are uneducated, but because we are unwise. We have knowledge but lack wisdom. Think about political confrontations. These are educated men and women. They have knowledge, but I see a distinct lack of wisdom. Wall Street scandals are not from lack of knowledge but lack of ethics which is part of wisdom. The Old Testament talks about the heart because wisdom is of the heart, not the head.

One of the most interesting columns I’ve read in a long time is “the heartless lovers of humankind.” It points out how dangerous intellectuals are who have theories about the welfare of mankind without regard for individual life. The author points out Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Stalin as men who had an intellectual theory about social construction without the reality of close personal relationships. One of my friends has a cartoon on his desk which shows Linus (the Peanuts character) saying, “I love mankind; it’s people I hate.” These theorists and idealogues were guilty of what they called “useful murders.” Mao supposedly killed 300 million people because he was working out his social theory. Hitler tried it; so did Stalin. All of these people with theories about mankind based on their intellectual concepts demonstrated a total lack of heart. The love of power, the desire to make their theories work, and the lack of any respect for human life ended tragically. They denied any possibility of man’s being created in the image of God. For they denied even the existence of God and His wisdom that “is from above” as the letter of James puts it.

Let me quote from T.S. Eliot: “Where is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? The cycles of heaven in twenty centuries bring us further from God and nearer to the dust.”

God made us from dust to move toward God, but now Eliot points out that we are moving quickly back to the dust from which we were formed. Intellectual prowess alone fails. Knowledge is not enough – we need wisdom.

As Barkley prays, “In our study, wisdom.”

This week seriously consider: 1) How well am I moving from knowledge to wisdom? 2) Who is a model of wisdom for me? 3) What makes me hunger for “wisdom that is from above?”

Words of Wisdom: “The major problems we face today are not because we are uneducated, but because we are unwise.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But if anyone is deficient in wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without reprimand, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 10, 2023

Fred considered contemplation a productive aspect of Christian living. He not only enjoyed quiet, but created a personal environment which required it. When he and Mary Alice traveled to Colorado one of his favorite activities was standing alone staring at the stars in the sky free from city lights.

The Joy of Contemplation

Americans are not much for quiet. The TV blares even when no one is in the room; teenagers walk around loaded down with boom boxes on their shoulders; car rides cannot be respites from unwanted sounds because vehicles sitting adjacent at stop lights actually vibrate with the deafening decibels.

Occasionally I see an exception. One is my friend Bob Turner who took his wife out to his Palm Beach Club for an enjoyable evening. At one point he spoke to the bandleader then returned to the table with a big smile. Thinking he had requested “their song” for the next dance she was surprised to see the band leave the stage. Bob had paid the band to quit for the evening, leaving the ballroom in total quiet.

Americans don’t appreciate contemplation. Short attention spans are supported by all forms of communication. (Editor’s note: Imagine Fred’s thoughts on current messages consisting of icons, emojis, and acronyms!) Television sitcoms convince us that we can solve international strife, political conflict, relationship dysfunction, and career problems within 30 minutes.
While speaking with a small group including many international attendees I was impressed with a man’s bright, attentive face. Afterwards he introduced himself to me as a Hindu from Nepal. He asked to have lunch because he had never heard an American Christian talk about contemplation. To him, it was a normal, critical part of his life from childhood.

It made me think about the noise in American homes. There is no time dedicated to silence and contemplation. Lapses in conversation are not respected, but filled with talking, music, even arguing. We are uneasy with any type of silence.
Contemplation is an acquired skill. In Scripture we are advised to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” As we consider Him in quiet He comes alive.

“Be still and know that I am God” isn’t just for personal worship – this should apply to corporate worship, as well. Sadly, studies show that contemporary churches attribute their growth to being loud. They call it celebration, but I am tempted to call much of it noise. Where is the consideration of the awe of God as a group of believers? Where are the moments to sit in contemplation of who He is?

In contemplation we establish our relativity with God – not relationship, but relativity. He is eternal; we are temporal. He is infinite; we are finite. He is Creator; we are created. The point of contemplation is that when I am small in Him I am utterly secure; but when I am big in myself I am insecure. Contemplating the infinite stretches me beyond measure. Meditating on an immeasurable Go stretches me beyond all human thought – this is the joy of contemplation.

This week think carefully about: 1) How often do I stop and contemplate the greatness of God? 2) What do contemplation and meditation mean to me? 3) When is the most productive time for me to think about God?

Words of Wisdom: “As we consider Him in quiet He comes alive.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May my words and my thoughts be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my sheltering rock and my redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14 NET)

Weekly Thought – October 3, 2023

Fred wrote, spoke, and thought about character probably as much as any other subject. He once observed “I have rarely seen a person fail due to lack of training, but generally it is a lack of character. However, I have never had anyone come to me asking for help in building character, but many who asked for opportunities, training, coaching, and many other aids.”

Character and Perseverance

Character is built through perseverance. In Romans 5 we are taught of the grace progression from tribulation through perseverance to character and hope. Character is so much more important than personality. It I actually more important for intelligence and it defines how we use both of these assets. It is the seat of our values. It is the custodian of our will.

During a losing season with the Mavericks, Norm Sonju who was then the general manager said this was the “era of the north side of the tree.” He was referring to boat manufacturers who advertised they built their boats from lumber harvested from the north side of the trees for it has weathered the battering of storms. My mentor, Maxey Jarman used to refer to business downturns as “times that take the fat off of our souls.”

In exercise I am told the heart has to get above 150 beats per minute to be effective. I am convinced true character development requires a high degree of pressure. The heat purifies our character as it does metal. My friend Ed Drake reminded me : “Pounding play havoc with clay, but tempers steel.”

Character gives us the strength to stand under the most difficult challenges. Solzhenitsyn upon hearing that the Archbishop of Canterbury had said about communism: “Better red then dead,” replied: “Better dead than a scoundrel.”

Character tells where we will stand on issues, for how long, and for what price. Oswald Chambers warns if we can’t take the small test we will inevitably fail the larger ones. Many fool themselves into thinking that they may falter on the small, but will triumph in the big test – it just won’t happen.

Character is determined by who we are becoming through our choices, our experiences, and our accomplishments.

The good news is that character can grow, and does more so in trouble than in good times. It is common knowledge that a person or a society cannot endure continuous prosperity. Softness results.

As we experience our valleys we learn the place of prayer, the power of scripture, and the presence of the Spirit. Isaiah reported God’s words, “I will give you the treasure of darkness.” God is an artist who paints both in light and dark colors. Malcolm Muggeridge noted “if affliction were eliminated, it would not make life delectable, but banal and trivial.”

This week carefully consider: 1) What am I learning in both the light and dark seasons? 2) How can I assess the areas of character which need strengthening? 3) Why do I think Fred focused so much on the importance of character?

Words of Wisdom: “The good news is that character can grow, and does more so in trouble than in good times.”

Wisdom from the Word; “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering, but take courage – I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 26, 2023

Fred regularly advised “stay current.” He and a dozen leading Dallas Christian laymen met once a month for a prayer breakfast. They spurred each other on during strong, meaningful careers. As they aged they encouraged each other to finish well. They are now all meeting in heaven. Dad would regularly remind them to avoid joining the “usta club.” (I usta do this; I usta do that!)

The Perils of Aging

When I was in my forties, I started making a list of things I would not do once I was old. I knew I’d need the list because without it, the items would seem natural and would become natural. There were little things on it like not sleeping with my mouth open, or not wearing mis-matched clothes. But a few of them are worth exploring.

1. Reminiscing: A television talk show host told me if she interviewed someone who dwelt on the past she never asked that person back. I say good for her. I get sick and tired of listening to people talking solely about the past – about the glory days. They apparently have no present and no future… everything is in the past. That is a sure sign of aging poorly. The way I like to think about this: once you get out of bed you can’t find the warm spot again.

2. Comparisons: As we get older, we tend to make unrealistic comparisons. We talk about the good old time and the quality merchandise we had when we were young. I remember the quality crank that spun a Model T Ford engine and the quality piece of wire that pulled out the choke. I also remember the tremendous amount of aerobic exercise it took to get the thing started and the danger of breaking your arm if it kicked. Was it really so much better than sliding into leather seats in your British sports car, driving off in regal splendor?

3. Idealizing: Remembering the past through “rose colored glasses” even applies to the church. I once had fun at a preachers’ convention as the keynote speaker. I got up and started expounding the need to return to the old-fashioned forms of the faith: we needed to go back to the reverence for the Book. The longer I carried, the more animated I became, the louder and more frequent came the “amens” Then I stopped abruptly and said, “What I mean is… let’s rally go back to the old-fashioned circuit riders, when people only had to go to church every three months.” Graciously, they didn’t stone me, but these preachers gave me stony silence!

4. Faulty Forecasting: Every economist when forecasting should be required to give his age in the first line of the report. Our age seriously impacts our view of the future. As I view my older (much older than I) I see they either move toward optimism or pessimism – Pollyanna or Cynic. The optimists assume an “every day in every way things are getting better and better.” I hear them expressing ultimate belief in the coming generations, attributing moral and mental qualities which have yet to be proven by others of us. America is a winner – no matter what troubles they have “they are right and will win.” The cynic walks around interpreting all through the filter of a black cloud. Nothing good from these young ones can possibly happen.
My choice is to be a realist, but it isn’t easy. The line between idealism and cynicism is often extremely fine and hard to distinguish. But it is the healthiest position. Stay current – see things as they are, not as you thought they were, or as you wish they were.

Where should a Christian be? They must remain as idealists. We live in a fallen world with the evidences and consequences of sin, but we live with hope of comfort here and peace eternally. It is our assignment to be realists who make the most of our time – living redemptively.

This week think about: 1) How can I prevent falling into unhealthy patterns as I age? 2)What I my game plan for aging well? 3) How models aging wisely for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Stay current… don’t join the ‘usta club.’”

Wisdom from the Word: “They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green.” (Psalm 92:14 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 29, 2023

Fred refused to categorize people according to balance sheet, job title, or accumulated status symbols. But he did recognize winners and losers. During extreme downturns in the economy he invested time with friends who suffered great losses. His thoughts and questions offered direction to many business leaders during these times.

Winners and Losers

I love golf – and wisdom. When they come together I take notes.

I was watching a major golf tournament. One of the young competitors was winning impressively. A commentator turned to Ken Ventura and said (in hushed tones), “Ken, he is going to be a real winner, isn’t he?” The experienced golfer replied, “No one can look into his heart and mind. We don’t know what is in there yet.” Watching that young golfer progress proved he had a strong heart for winning.

Too often I hear people build categories of moral and immoral, ethical and unethical as reasons for succeeding and not failing. I think it is easier than that – for most purposes there are simply winners and losers.

When you lose you have certain questions and certain choices to make. Some of the questions are:

1) Did I do my best?
2) Am I responsible for the loss or was it circumstances beyond my control?
3) If I had it to do over what would I do differently?
4) How can I use this loss for future decisions and projects?

Some of the choices are:

1) Become bitter, hostile, or transfer the responsibility
2) Accept that you were defeated and let it become a fact of life for the future
3) Let the loss help establish a realistic view of ourselves in relation to others

It is arrogant to think that we are always the best at all times. And we can’t always choose when we are put into a competitive situation. The best thing we can do is externalize and analyze the loss, but never internalize it. Just because I was defeated does not mean that I totally have failed. One of my favorite statements is: “you haven’t failed – only your plans have.”

Healthy people don’t expect to avoid competition. Also, they don’t allow the shadow of defeat dim the enjoyment of victory.

This week think about: 1) What defeat am I still carrying around? 2) How well do I celebrate victories? 3) What counsel do I give to those going through a loss?

Words of Wisdom: “Healthy people don’t expect to avoid competition.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason I ask you not to lose heart because of what I am suffering for you, which is your glory.” (Ephesians 3:13 NET Bible)