Weekly Thought – September 26, 2023

Fred regularly advised “stay current.” He and a dozen leading Dallas Christian laymen met once a month for a prayer breakfast. They spurred each other on during strong, meaningful careers. As they aged they encouraged each other to finish well. They are now all meeting in heaven. Dad would regularly remind them to avoid joining the “usta club.” (I usta do this; I usta do that!)

The Perils of Aging

When I was in my forties, I started making a list of things I would not do once I was old. I knew I’d need the list because without it, the items would seem natural and would become natural. There were little things on it like not sleeping with my mouth open, or not wearing mis-matched clothes. But a few of them are worth exploring.

1. Reminiscing: A television talk show host told me if she interviewed someone who dwelt on the past she never asked that person back. I say good for her. I get sick and tired of listening to people talking solely about the past – about the glory days. They apparently have no present and no future… everything is in the past. That is a sure sign of aging poorly. The way I like to think about this: once you get out of bed you can’t find the warm spot again.

2. Comparisons: As we get older, we tend to make unrealistic comparisons. We talk about the good old time and the quality merchandise we had when we were young. I remember the quality crank that spun a Model T Ford engine and the quality piece of wire that pulled out the choke. I also remember the tremendous amount of aerobic exercise it took to get the thing started and the danger of breaking your arm if it kicked. Was it really so much better than sliding into leather seats in your British sports car, driving off in regal splendor?

3. Idealizing: Remembering the past through “rose colored glasses” even applies to the church. I once had fun at a preachers’ convention as the keynote speaker. I got up and started expounding the need to return to the old-fashioned forms of the faith: we needed to go back to the reverence for the Book. The longer I carried, the more animated I became, the louder and more frequent came the “amens” Then I stopped abruptly and said, “What I mean is… let’s rally go back to the old-fashioned circuit riders, when people only had to go to church every three months.” Graciously, they didn’t stone me, but these preachers gave me stony silence!

4. Faulty Forecasting: Every economist when forecasting should be required to give his age in the first line of the report. Our age seriously impacts our view of the future. As I view my older (much older than I) I see they either move toward optimism or pessimism – Pollyanna or Cynic. The optimists assume an “every day in every way things are getting better and better.” I hear them expressing ultimate belief in the coming generations, attributing moral and mental qualities which have yet to be proven by others of us. America is a winner – no matter what troubles they have “they are right and will win.” The cynic walks around interpreting all through the filter of a black cloud. Nothing good from these young ones can possibly happen.
My choice is to be a realist, but it isn’t easy. The line between idealism and cynicism is often extremely fine and hard to distinguish. But it is the healthiest position. Stay current – see things as they are, not as you thought they were, or as you wish they were.

Where should a Christian be? They must remain as idealists. We live in a fallen world with the evidences and consequences of sin, but we live with hope of comfort here and peace eternally. It is our assignment to be realists who make the most of our time – living redemptively.

This week think about: 1) How can I prevent falling into unhealthy patterns as I age? 2)What I my game plan for aging well? 3) How models aging wisely for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Stay current… don’t join the ‘usta club.’”

Wisdom from the Word: “They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green.” (Psalm 92:14 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 29, 2023

Fred refused to categorize people according to balance sheet, job title, or accumulated status symbols. But he did recognize winners and losers. During extreme downturns in the economy he invested time with friends who suffered great losses. His thoughts and questions offered direction to many business leaders during these times.

Winners and Losers

I love golf – and wisdom. When they come together I take notes.

I was watching a major golf tournament. One of the young competitors was winning impressively. A commentator turned to Ken Ventura and said (in hushed tones), “Ken, he is going to be a real winner, isn’t he?” The experienced golfer replied, “No one can look into his heart and mind. We don’t know what is in there yet.” Watching that young golfer progress proved he had a strong heart for winning.

Too often I hear people build categories of moral and immoral, ethical and unethical as reasons for succeeding and not failing. I think it is easier than that – for most purposes there are simply winners and losers.

When you lose you have certain questions and certain choices to make. Some of the questions are:

1) Did I do my best?
2) Am I responsible for the loss or was it circumstances beyond my control?
3) If I had it to do over what would I do differently?
4) How can I use this loss for future decisions and projects?

Some of the choices are:

1) Become bitter, hostile, or transfer the responsibility
2) Accept that you were defeated and let it become a fact of life for the future
3) Let the loss help establish a realistic view of ourselves in relation to others

It is arrogant to think that we are always the best at all times. And we can’t always choose when we are put into a competitive situation. The best thing we can do is externalize and analyze the loss, but never internalize it. Just because I was defeated does not mean that I totally have failed. One of my favorite statements is: “you haven’t failed – only your plans have.”

Healthy people don’t expect to avoid competition. Also, they don’t allow the shadow of defeat dim the enjoyment of victory.

This week think about: 1) What defeat am I still carrying around? 2) How well do I celebrate victories? 3) What counsel do I give to those going through a loss?

Words of Wisdom: “Healthy people don’t expect to avoid competition.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason I ask you not to lose heart because of what I am suffering for you, which is your glory.” (Ephesians 3:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 22, 2023

Fred studied leaders to find common denominators. One was the power of focus and concentration. Their personalities may be different, but the presence of passion was clear in each profile.

Maximizing Achievement

Every effective leader is imbued with passion. Accomplishment is often in direct proportion to the clarity and intensity of the leader’s passion. It gives focus and vision to the organization; and provides hope in difficult times.

I like this definition: “Passion is concentrated wisdom with high energy in the pursuit of meaning.” My friend, scholar, philosopher, and theologian Dr. Ramesh Richard advises students to “decide on their passion.” “What is your first love? If you have multiple passions you will be ripped to pieces internally, resulting in a fragmented, random life.” He continues as he talks to his seminarians, “If anything other than the Lord Jesus Christ is your first love, you will fall into idolatry.” This is true for every Christ follower. Dr. Richard puts his passion this way: “To make God look good and Christ well known.”

Passion gives intensity, laser-like focus which protects us from the shallowness of mediocrity. We want to be welder’s torches, not candles on a birthday cake.

I overheard an older writer being interviewed by a young journalist. “What advice would you give me? What would you do if you were my age?” The man responded quickly, “Find something big enough to give myself to.” As I listened I thought of a missionary who exhibited tremendous executive skills in his foreign Christian work. He was noticed by a multi-national corporation developing an operation in the country where his ministry was based. They approached him about leaving to lead their new operation and were shocked when they made a lucrative financial offer and were turned down. Thinking the missionary was negotiating they kept raising the offer until they said “this is our final offer. How can you turn down such a prestigious position?” The missionary responded, “Your job is too small. I am a missionary with a commission from God.” He gave himself to something much bigger than himself.

We must ask “Is the object of our passion worthy of our commitment?” Self-sacrifice is the acid test of our passion.
I like the prayer of the old saint “O, Lord, fill my will with fire!” He was asking for passion with a receptive, expectant attitude toward God. A pure passion turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.

This week carefully consider: 1) Dr. Richard talks about identifying passion. What is mine? 2) How does my passion impact my career and family choices? 3) When did I realize the power of passion?

Words of Wisdom: “Is the object of our passion worthy of our commitment?”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 15, 2023

Fred took his last breath at 9:15am on August 17, 2007. Dialysis failed. He connected with the dialysis team so closely that one of them returned from his day off as soon as he heard early that morning of Fred’s imminent dialysis failure. He used his gifts well, connecting, stretching, and blessing.

Time Control

When I was consulting with Mobil Oil Corporation, the VP of Marketing and I developed a phrase which we used to minimize unnecessary work and centralize the organization’s thinking on the project. We called it “The Object of the Exercise.” This simply meant putting into one sentence what we were actually trying to do. It is unbelievable how seldom we do this. It is my usual habit to start each morning is to identify and decide what I am really trying to do that day. For me, this is the essence of time control.

One of my early mentors had this sign on his wall: “Results is the only excuse for activity.” On one occasion I was using a great many words to amplify the activity in order to cover up the meager results. He stopped me mid-sentence with, “Fred, show me the baby; don’t tell me about the labor pains.” He wasn’t unkind. He taught me an unforgettable career-influence lesson. As an aside, my children tell me this is high on the list of “things Dad taught me.”

I was having lunch with the President of a sizeable telephone companies after his company meeting. During conversation he told me he decided to stop taking his briefcase home. This surprised me because I knew of no other executive who would walk out of the office without the symbol of his true dedication – the briefcase. He went on to tell me how he came to that decision. “I found out that I spent a great deal of time during the work day sorting papers and filling a ‘take home’ pile. Right then I decided to take those papers out of that pile, stop sorting during the day – and get to work.”

One of my good friends is the CEO of a natural resources firm. “When I walk out the back door of the building and head for my car I make a shift. I am no longer the CEO, but husband and father. And that is the way it remains until I walk back into the building.” His executive friends had a hard time with this, but his marriage is a “’til death do us part” covenant.

Controlling time means seeing it as a limited asset with potential to be spent or invested. I choose investment.

This week think about: 1) What is my biggest time waster? 2) When do I feel God’s pleasure in the use of my time? 3) What would a stranger know about me by looking at my calendar?

Words of Wisdom: “Ascertaining what I am trying to do is the essence of time control.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The sluggard will not plow during the planting season, so at harvest time he asks for grain but has nothing.” (Proverbs 20:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 8, 2023

Fred knew the value of stories. He saw life principles and illustrations, recording them on machines through the eras from large reels of tape to tiny handhelds. His family regularly heard him in his home office late at night capturing ideas. “Period. Paragraph” was the transition from thought to thought. This week you can peek into his collection.

Stories are Everywhere

1) When I was a teenager working in a service station, Louisiana politician Huey Long talked about dividing up the wealth. It struck me as an interesting survey to conduct, so I asked each customer who came in what they would do if all the national wealth were distributed. I found those without anything would quit their jobs and spend the money. Those with money would invest what they received. I thought: the cycle would turn very quickly where those with money would have it again and most of those without it would be waiting for another distribution.

2) I knew an oil man who owned a lot of big rigs. He moved around checking on them in the various locations. Doing this he came upon a young man leaning against the rail on one of his rigs. He asked the young fellow: “Who do you work for?” When the young man told him he replied, “I am he; and don’t ever stand still on my time. When there’s nothing to do, jump up and down.”

3) As I went into surgery at Mayo Clinic, my physician and longtime dear friend Dr. James Cain who had been President Johnson’s doctor and a very revered man of medicine came over to spend an hour or two before I went into the operating room. As he left the room he put his hand on my knee and said, “God bless.” I know the difference between a benediction and the Last Rites so it didn’t bother me at all. “Thanks, Jim.” I had been blessed by his touch.

4) Once during a difficult period in our plant operations we were all working unusually hard. I was in the plant with one of our employees long after the shift had ended. I felt particular gratitude for the solution of our problem said to the him, “I think we had some outside help.” He said, “We had inside help because only when the outside help gets inside is there real help.” A good lesson.

This week think about: 1) How do I capture life stories? 2) What can I do to sharpen my observation skills? 3) When can my life stories help illustrate key principles?

Words of Wisdom: “If you want information, turn to the news. If you want knowledge, turn to study. If you want wisdom, turn to divine principles.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He told them many things in parables.” (Matthew 13:3 (a) NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 1, 2023

Fred opened mental files into which he dropped ideas year by year. There were three friends (two pastors and a national speaker) who had their own folders. Every time he heard, read, or saw something he considered a fit for one of them he fed it into their folder ready for their next visit or phone call. It was fascinating to see him mentally open and “download” the info gathered in the appropriate file. One file he added to over the years was called “there is a difference between.” In one group of notes there are pages of examples covering five years of observation.

There Is A Difference Between

1) There is a difference between the fast and frantic track. Some people go so frantically they don’t recognize they’re going in circles… their pace keeps them from seeing they have passed the same place repeatedly. They are only conscious of speed, not direction.

2) There is quite a difference between hope that is based on something and blind optimism which is not. For example, those people who say, “I could quite drinking any time I want to”, are blindly optimistic; those who quit and say, “I will get over the terrible urge” are hopeful.

3) There’s a difference between a talk and a communication… and it mainly hinges on response. People generally hear a talk; people generally personalize communication and take action.

4) Oswald Chambers points out the difference between “God is love,” and “God is loving.” We define loving, but God defines love.

5) There is a difference between those who take from life and those who get from life. Taking is an aggressive act; getting denotes receiving something offered as a gift. We cannot take blessings from God; we simply accept what He gives – what He chooses for us to get.

6) There is certainly a difference between self-development and self-fulfillment – we develop into a spring of fresh, flowing water; when we focus on fulfillment we too often end in a dead sea. Development is the means to the end of being more capable of helping others; fulfillment is simply the end in itself.

7) There is a difference between a sponsor who will lend you their influence and credibility as you grow and a mentor who will join with you to develop your talents.

8) It is important to know the difference between characters faults and irritating habits. I have a friend who constantly sniffs while he talks (it makes me want to run away!) and one who lies. One is an irritating habit while the others is a character flaw. There is a considerable difference.

9) There is a difference between strong will and stubbornness. The first should be (and usually is) cause oriented; the other reflects self-will.

10) There is a distinct difference between regret, remorse, and repentance.

This week think carefully about: 1) How good am I at making distinctions and recognizing differences? 2) Which one makes me particularly stop and think? 3) What is the role of discernment in a mature life?

Words of Wisdom: “There is a difference between wanting to be right and wanting to be good.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;” (Proverbs 2:10 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 11, 2023

Fred and Mary Alice loved Colorado – winter and summer. Many of their Dallas friends had homes throughout the mountains. One couple built a private getaway high up in Allens’ Park. Fred, as always, dictated observations which Margie Keith faithfully transcribed.

High On The Mountain

Don and Charlotte’s new house is remote and built for them, not for show. Too many people think getting away will give them the peace they desire. But as their house shows, it is a perfect place to live and work if you bring your peace with you.

Upon arriving they took us on a tour of the property, especially the trail to the gazebo they have built on a lookout point. The seats allow you to comfortably enjoy the 300 degree view ( I had to take away 60 degrees for a slight blockage). Don pointed out an observation platform at the edge of his property at 9,000 feet. He proudly pointed out the steps and path which went across the crevasse. As we walked back to the house he mentioned the stakes which were added to outline a path. Instead of driving to the base of the big rock, a walk was possible.

Early the next morning even before my flat-lander lungs had adjusted to the altitude I headed to the path marked with stakes. I was going to conquer the Big Rock! After getting lost three times and realizing that the one who drives the stakes and the one who tries to follow them for the first time have an entirely different orientation. That Biblical principle “This is the way – walk ye in it!” had much appeal for me right then.

Finally, I reached the Big Rock, took the steps across the crevasse and stepped onto the platform. The most magnificent mountain panoramas opened up before me. The experience was well worth it. THIS was my Mt. Everest. I no sooner congratulated myself than I noticed another rock about 500 feet above me. Up there no one could look down on me. But no matter how much I wanted to climb that rock I knew I was as high as I ought to be, needed to be, or expected to be. I was going to enjoy what I had accomplished and not be plagued by the fact that there was a rock up there higher than I was.

Standing and looking over the view I remembered the two prayers of fellow Texan (who scaled the real Mt. Everest): “Thank you, Lord, for getting me up here; Now, help me get back down.”

This week carefully consider: 1) What is my Mt. Everest? 2) When do I experience the majesty of God? 3) How do I know when to stop climbing?

Words of Wisdom: “But no matter how much I wanted to climb that rock I knew I was as high as I ought to be, needed to be, or expected to be.”

Wisdom from the Word: “You created the mountains by your power, and demonstrated your strength.” (Psalm 65:6 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 4, 2023

Fred enjoyed boating, especially Kentucky’s Lake Barkley. But his original marine adventures were in a Chris Craft outboard motorboat. He would hitch it to the station wagon and drag it across Cincinnati to the River. One of the favorite destinations was Coney Island for the children. He would drop them off at the dock, give them a dollar, and tell them to meet him when they were out of money. One night he miscalculated the ability to guard nickels and dimes thus making their return to the dock at least an hour longer than Fred (with no cell phone) anticipated. A lesson was learned that night as they quietly drove home. He gave instructions but they had a variety of applications.

A Healthy Lifestyle

Dr. David Morrison, the renown psychiatrist known for his corporate practice emphasizes mental health, not mental sickness. Corporations hire him because he majors on keeping executives healthy and productive. Shifting the focus from analyzing the sickness to emphasizing health intrigues me.

One of the key elements of mental health is a realistic perspective. I like to remind people to stay current. It is too easy to live in the “wish it were” or in how it “used to be.” I met with a man who wanted to talk over a problem he had overcome. He eagerly shared about his victory. We make a mistake in thinking we have our lives straightened out for all future time….that nothing can slip up behind us. But it doesn’t work that way.

I heard a new Christian tell a large audience how she had suffered with depression for years, but now that she had found Christ her battles with depression were all behind her. In her words she was “forever over depression.” That may be true. However, she can open herself to an emotional surprise which could unsettle her faith. I didn’t want to plant doubt but I felt obligated to assure her that if she were to run into any future problems, the same Christ who was sufficient right now would be then, as well. Our maturity is built on overcoming recurring problems and attitudes.

Since I am working here with experience and not professional training, I will give you some ideas that have been helpful for me. Through the years, I find that my emotional health varies from time to time and even on such major items as faith, family, friends, work, and recreation. Therefore, I have come to expect and deal with changing emotions. Change is the given. I expect variation in my feelings about everything – therefore, when they shift I treat change as normal. This helps me relax while I work on any adjustment I feel are necessary and desirable. Change can be painful, but it is part of a healthy life and must be accepted.

A healthy mental condition will never be random, or the responsibility of someone else. We must acknowledge our role in establishing a plan, working on it, and regularly assessing.

This week think about: 1) How careful am I to accurately assess my mental health? 2) What keeps me current in my thinking? 3) What are the measures for my emotional well-being?

Words of Wisdom: “I felt obligated to assure her that if she were to run into any future problems, the same Christ who was sufficient right now would be then, as well.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 27, 2023

Fred thought a great deal about maturity and health. He believed a key element was self-control and emotional discipline. In true Fred-style he recorded his thoughts into his faithful “Dictaphone” ready for assistant Margie’s faithful transcription.

The Helpful Emotion of Excitement

There is very little wrong with me that excitement won’t cure. It is one of my most necessary emotions. Without it life is flat and boring. I become negative, lethargic, and difficult to live with. Excitement gives me energy and urgency. With it I have purpose and emphasis. Therefore, I am careful to keep exciting things happening in all areas of my life. Often I ask others what they are excited about. Sometimes they are dead quiet – and seem to be happy with that answer. But my battery gets weak without excitement.

Fortunately, I find many, many things to create this energy. For example, learning new things, meeting new people with common interests, developing other people, starting new projects while avoiding the administration of them, wrestling with strange ideas, exploring theories which I question, thinking up techniques that spring from common principles, analyzing problems and writing out the individual segments. You have your own list- I just wanted to give you examples of what generates energy and excitement for me.

You may note I said I take responsibility for my own excitement. Too often I hear people complain about boredom whether it is in marriage, school, or career. To me that says the person isn’t willing to work to create excitement… they depend on circumstances or their associates. That is too random and haphazard for me. Just as I must plan and work to provide necessary money so I must plan the necessary emotional stimulation for healthy living. The right amount of excitement seldom comes at th right time without proper planning.

Productive excitement isn’t that of a competitive ball game with all the whooping and hollering. It is the constant surge of energy which makes us want to keep going. It is focusing on the factors which move me (and you) in the direction of maturity. Excitement can be spontaneous, but it is also best understood as intentional.

This week think carefully about: 1) How purposeful am I about maintaining healthy excitement? 2) What is on my “creates emotional energy” list? 3) How do I demonstrate choosing vitality?

Words of Wisdom: “You may note I said I take responsibility for my own excitement.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people. (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 20,2023

Fred strongly believed in the impact of the “as you go” Christian faith. He often spoke of the verse which told us Jesus went about doing good. Making the Christian life natural and normal was a key principle.

Doing Good

Setting out to achieve great good is a hollow goal. The measurement is most often long term and rarely can we neatly organize our lives into Large Good and Small Good.

I want to give you two examples (among many) of people living out what was said in scripture that Jesus went about doing good. He didn’t make these acts the focus of His ministry. He came to bring the message of salvation and be our sacrifice for sin. The good was an outgrowth of His “going about.”

The story of Steve Largent was featured in a Fellowship of Christian Athletes magazine. His father deserted the family when he was six. His mother remarried a man who was an alcoholic. He often came home from school and had to separate his brother and step-father who were constantly fighting. He went out very little after school, but he heard about a teenage group which served cookies and punch. The draw of getting away from the turmoil at home and the offer of cookies and punch drew him in. That meeting was a Young Life meeting where Steve Largent found Christ as his savior. I wonder if the lady who baked the cookies and made the punch even thought of her work as doing “great good.” But what she may have seen as small changed a young man’s life and trajectory.

I emphasize the importance of recognizing our circumstances, just as Jesus did. He let the circumstances set His agenda. A year ago I got a letter from a lady named Beth who was reading You and Your Network. She stopped to write me. She told me her life story. When she was 12 she saw her father murdered. The shock put her into such depression she was institutionalized until she was 20. After attempting suicide, she found the Lord and became a minister. We continued to correspond. One letter said the depression and the blackness was back. “I can’t preach anymore.” I wrote her and in a letter she sent back she said, “I don’t have to be famous, do I? I don’t have to be well known to be a faithful Christian, do I?”

She wrote about a young girl she read about in the newspaper who was about the age of her own daughter who was jailed for prostitution and drugs. Beth went to see her. The girl was defiant, but Beth simply said, “I just want to tell you that God loves you and I would like to be your friend. She said the young girl ran into her arms, sobbing. After this Beth had three more opportunities like this.

Last week I got a letter from her. “Fred. if we don’t meet on this earth, in heaven a lady will slide up beside you and say “Hello, my name is Elizabeth, but my friends call me Beth.”

This week think carefully about: 1) How open are my eyes to the possibilities of “doing good” each day? 2) When was the last time I had an opportunity to speak a word or give aid to another? 3) What acts of service bring me the greatest joy?

Words of Wisdom: “The measurement ( of good) is most often long term and rarely can we neatly organize our lives into Large Good and Small Good.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NET Bible)