Weekly Thought – April 29, 2025

Fred especially appreciated a prayer written by William Barclay. In teaching and writing he broke down the phrases and drilled down into their application. This week features his thinking on the opening address.

Words To Live By

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our leisure, pleasure; in our study, wisdom; and in our love, loyalty.” I was so impressed with the balance of life he described that I easily memorized it. Through the years I have repeated it to myself many times and twice I have taught it as a Sunday School lesson. The first time I only taught the four requests. Later, I realized that I had missed the significance of the three opening words.

“Lord” – One of the major theological questions today is whether Christ can be Savior without being Lord. George Gallup did a survey among the “born again” and found that only 10 percent considered their faith in daily decision making. He wrote a book entitled “The Saints Among Us” indicating that 90 percent of us are nominal Christians.

“Grant” – This reminds us that all good and perfect gift come from above. We have no demands on God, only requests. Again, the Bible tells u that we have nothing but what we have received of God.” (See 1 Corinthians 4:7).

“Us” – This reminds us that Christianity is a community a Body, a family. It is not just an individual experience. It is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself. It is like the redwood that grows in a cluster of four with the roots supporting each other.

Gert Behanna was born and raised in the old Waldorf Astoria amid amazing wealth. After spending much of her life wedded to a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, she came to Christ. When she prayed “Our Father” for the first time she realized she was part of a family. She gave most of her wealth to needy Christians whom she considered brothers and sisters.

“Lord, grant us” is a triad of infinite significance.

This week carefully consider: 1) Which word am I going to dwell on this week? 2) When do I experience being part of the family of God? 3) How can I be an influence for Christian maturity?

Words of Wisdom: “Christian community is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For who concedes you any superiority? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you received it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (1 Corinthians 4:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 15, 2025

Fred respected those who corrected motivated by the desire for others to improve. The proper environment for criticism is an observation to help potential develop. He once offered a review of a musician’s performance with these words, “I know you want to be the best…” After which he commented on the strengths and weaknesses of the concert.

The Art of Criticism

Keep criticism positive. Recently, I tried to analyze the reasons for criticism. Three were negative and one positive.

1) We are passing the buck on a self-grudge. If before 10:00 in the morning I have been critical of everybody and everyone, I must stop and ask, “Fred, what is wrong with you? What are you mad at yourself about?” Generally, I have to go and make a call to somebody with an apology. My environment won’t straighten out until I quit being mad at myself and make it right.

2) We are trying to show superior knowledge. How often does someone show you a great idea and you respond enthusiastically until you suddenly say to yourself, “I can’t be too complimentary because he may feel he is as smart as I am.” So you say, “Joe this is a great idea, but…” Many “yes, buts” come from the desire to show your own superior knowledge or experience.

3) We are responding to performance that hasn’t made the grade. Those who start well, but don’t make the A-List usually become critics. You can’t put a failed executive back into the ranks – he/she will become a naysayer and negative influence.

4) We are desiring the other person to improve through our help. We can point out something he or she might not see. It is done quietly and kindly. Positive correction/criticism is not done in public, or even within earshot of others. Too often the negative models are expressed in front of as many as possible to the embarrassment of one and the poor judgement of the other. True, strong positive criticism is specific, and directly clearly toward the area that needs work for the sake of improvement.

The motive of positive criticism sets it apart from any of the negative forms. It is important to point out emotional stability is the foundation for the competent use of the positive and a quality every capable leader must have.

This week think about: 1) How do I react when I recognize a critical attitude in myself? 2) When is the best time for me to handle situations needing correction? 3) What are the triggers for my critical attitude?

Words of Wisdom: “Many “yes, buts” come from the desire to show your own superior knowledge or experience.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Speech that heals is like a life-giving tree, but a perverse speech breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 8, 2025

Fred appreciated and applied grace generously. In his last days he made phone calls from his hospital bed to several lifelong friends. He spoke briefly to each one; he frequently would respond to their gracious words with “thank you, but remember, I am just a sinner saved by grace.”

The Glory of Grace

Grace was genuine, real, personal, and palpable to the great saints. Brother Lawrence, Frank Laubach, Francois Fenelon- these men never doubted they were the constant recipients of God’s amazing grace. Grace was a practical part of their everyday lives.

For example, Brother Lawrence said that when he made a mistake he didn’t spend any time thinking about it – he confessed it and moved on. Before I read that, I had been trapped by guilt… after all immediate grace was too good to be true. Brother Lawrence’s experience greatly released me.

Nevertheless, legalism appeals to our common sense and reasoning. I find it necessary to remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my sin and guilt lets me know God’s grace. By refusing grace we play God, creating a disciplinary system by and for ourselves. We view events as punishment. We anticipate correction and interpret it to fit our penal model. We fail to see that actions have consequences and we may just be experiencing the natural results, not a divine penalty.

Why do we do this? Usually because we feel we deserve judgment rather than grace. Grace brings freedom. If we could only follow Brother Lawrence by confessing, receiving His freedom, and moving on “gracefully.” Since grace cannot be deserved why should I feel others are worthy of its gift, but not I? Or why should I ever feel they are not worthy when I am?

Thinking we can be mature in Christ apart from grace is nothing more than foolish immaturity.

The Bible tells me we should not think too highly of ourselves, but it doesn’t advocate “worm thinking,” either. We are objects of grace; grace is a faith gift coming from and through the Father of light.

My great friend Steve Brown once told me his friend Jack Miller summed up the Christian message: “Cheer up, you’re a lot worse than you think you are; and Cheer up, God’s grace is a lot bigger than you think it is.”

This week think carefully consider: 1) When did grace become real for me? 2) How quickly do I show grace to others? 3) Who needs to know grace is God’s gift?

Words of Wisdom: “Grace was a practical part of their everyday lives.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Grace be with you all. “ (Hebrews 13:25 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 1, 2025

Fred asked a question during a men’s retreat which spoke to their thinking on balanced living. “Are you driving with a distinct vibration in your operating system? Time control was of key interest to these attendees. Here are several illustrations from Fred.

The Balanced Life

Oftentimes I see people whose lives are simply out of balance. Years ago I was driving my 280ZX (proof of teenage residue) when suddenly I lost a balance on the right front wheel. Here was my dilemma: I could drive at 45mph or less and be stable, or go 65 and shake myself to pieces. This is the picture I have when I see so many people who definitely cannot go more than 45 without shaking and yet they are determined to go into career traffic traveling at 65 mph. If they could only stop, or knew to stop and get the little balance on the life wheel fixed they could be back all on the road. If you are balanced for 45 but insist on 65, you have to get a repair.

A recurring theme among leaders is getting back to the “simple life,” which usually comes down to the allocation of time. I laugh when people tell me they didn’t have time to attend their company’s time control seminar. I find many fail to understand the proper use of time and the value of delegation. Often mistake-prone clutter is illustrative of those who misunderstand the concept of leadership, particular talents, and the nature of building an effective team. Being the leader who is known as the “hardest worker” and the one who turns off the lights at night has tragically missed the point of leadership. Knowing our strengths and focusing on them is critical.

My philosophy has been: Do what only I can do and delegate the rest. I focus on my strengths and move everything else to the periphery.
So much is written about “the balanced life.” Reducing stress sells lots of books. An authentic life must have tension. If a living plant didn’t have the pressure of capillary action nutrients would never move from the roots to the leaves. One of my favorite books is Stress Without Distress. Balance doesn’t mean living life in neutral. Nor does balance mean all areas of life have equivalent focus. It does mean the integration of the parts make a complete whole. Integration should result in healthy living.

This week think about: 1) How long has it been since I evaluated my strengths? 2) What does a balanced life signify to me? 3) Who is an excellent role model for time management?

Words of Wisdom: “If you are balanced for 45 but insist on 65, you have to get a repair.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But as for you, be strong and don’t get discouraged, for your work will be rewarded.” (2 Chronicles 15:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 11, 2025

Fred answered a first-time question “Can we get together?” with “Meet me at Cindi’s Deli at 6:30.” It was his first step in evaluating the seriousness of the person. “Could we make it 8:00?” usually equated to a relational false start.

Breakfast with Fred became a buzz word for wisdom gathering among his broad network of learners and leaders. This week’s theme is from his 2007 book Breakfast With Fred. Though focused on executives these principles apply to every area of daily living.

Effective Self-Management

The hardest person on any executive’s team to supervise is himself/herself. The recognition is soon recognized that “my problem is me.”
If many people took the energy and intelligence they spend devising ways to avoid work and applied it toward building a work plan, they would be highly successful. One of the most important executive disciplines is cutting off escapes from effective work. Sadly, there are executives who are strategic about accomplishment avoidance. For example, a great many people study their jobs rather than work at them. Most people already know considerably more than they are actually using in the workplace. Education is not the problem – disciplined motivation is.

Another escape for most people is activity. They have not learned “results are the only excuse for activity.” Many people feel as day’s end that they are satisfied with their efforts when in fact they have just been busy. They are the chief of their local fire department putting out flames but never constructing buildings. They are on the run but never getting anywhere productive. Too many eat, belch, and run – like fire trucks with dirty engines. Little boys make lots of noise playing firemen but grown men and women need to put away their helmets.

In order to accomplish anything you must have a definite goal. Unless you can write it down it isn’t definite or specific. My mentor, Maxey Jarman, taught me that aimless verbal wandering has no power. Only when I put the goal on paper does it take shape. Until it is formed, it may be an idea of a direction, but it isn’t a goal. A ship with a lot of steam doesn’t get to port unless it stays on course.
Once the goal as been set, it must be pursued with a burning desire. The desire must be maintained and sustained with discipline.
(Editor’s note: Later in Fred’s life he changed his focus from strict goal setting to a clear understanding of direction. In fact, one of the questions he would ask emphasized the import of this element in successful living… “Are you satisfied with the direction you are going?” He often spoke of “revectoring” which was the way he described keeping keyed to “true north” and staying on direction. The popular trends of 3 or 5 year plans had less interest for him. He wanted to define his life mission and then measure “staying on course” with regular checks.)

This week think carefully about: 1) How disciplined am I about putting my goals and direction in writing? 2) What will it take to “get out of my own way?” 3) Who models productive activity rather than just busyness?

Words of Wisdom: “A ship with a lot of steam doesn’t get to port unless it stays on course.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May he grant your heart’s desire; may he bring all your plans to pass.” (Psalm 20:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – January 21, 2025

Fred used questions in consulting, mentoring, and personal development. He also used them as channel markers in his private search for integrity. This week we feature ten which he frequently asks.

Asking Questions

1. Do my motives have integrity? Integrity starts with motive. Rationalization does more to pollute integrity of motive than any other factor. Ends never justify illegal, unjust, or unethical means.
2. Am I ego-driven or responsibility motivated? Ego-driven people satisfy their ego from the cause while responsibility-motivated people sacrifice their ego to the cause.
3. Do I want the truth? It requires a tough mind and a strong heart to love truth. Integrity demands tying to know and love truth for its own sake.
4. Does my will control my feelings? Leadership demands a strong will – not a selfish or stubborn will- but a determined will to do what needs doing. By will we overcome our yen for pleasure and our satisfaction with mediocrity.
5. What is my source of joy? Hope expresses itself n joy. My personal definition of joy is “adequacy.” The struggle is finding a true security and complete adequacy in authentic, not synthetic sources.
6. Is my passion focused? Passion brings purpose unity, intensity, and concentration, assuring accomplishment. Passion gives depth, keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity. Our lives become a welder’s torch rather than a grass fire.
7. How grateful am I? Gratitude expresses our vulnerability, and our dependence on others. It is an emotion with a short shelf life because we don’t like to be indebted.
8. Am I the pump or the pipe? The Holy Spirit if the pump and I am the pipe. The pipe never gets tired. When I try to substitute my power for God’s I become powerless, dissatisfied even frantic, and defeated.
9. Is grace real for me? When refuse grace, I am playing God and trying to punish myself. Grace brings freedom.
10. How is my relationship to God? When I wake up in the middle of the night, face myself, and assess my true connection, what is the bottom line? Am I growing in my desire to know Him? Am I thirsty for time with Him? Trusting Him is a measure of relationship.

This week carefully consider: 1) What questions do I ask myself to establish my integrity quotient? 2) Which of Fred’s questions hits home right now? 3) Who would benefit from their own audit?

Words of Wisdom: “He used questions as channel markers in his own private search for integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May integrity and godliness protect me, for I rely on you.” (Psalm 25:21 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – January 7, 2025

Fred annually did a “whole person” analysis and audit. He considered the various facets of his life, measured the goals from the year just completed and anticipated his direction for the new one. He looked at his relationship to himself, to others, and to God.

Measuring the Role of Relationship

Relationships are obviously both the personal and professional concern of the leader.

First, your relationship to yourself. Jean Paul Sartre, the French philosopher, was once quoted as saying, “If you are lonely when you are alone, you’re in poor company.”

I visited a magnificent home built n a remote part of the Colorado Rockies. It was so quiet you could hear the paint drying on the wall. I thought to myself: “Only a person at peace with himself could own a home like this.” In that kind of magnificent quiet, you have time to be alone with yourself. And you would have to be able to enjoy the company. You’d have to be satisfied with the way you are growing. You could not have your external success eating up your internal being.

That’s one of the tests of maturity: the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.

Second, relationship to others. Am I increasingly able to spend time profitably with people who are different? Immature individuals can’t enjoy people who don’t think differently. They prefer people just like themselves. Maturity is being comfortable with diversity.

Third, we must evaluate the development of our relationship with God. Is my walk with God more comfortable? More intimate? More real?
I had a friend who lost contact with God. The problem was this: instead of confessing, he was explaining. God is not very interested in our explanations. He knows why we do what we do. He doesn’t need our rationalizing. But, I have found, God is a marvelous listener to our confessions.

I have discovered I can explain things to God for years, but only when I get around to saying, “Mea culpa – I am guilty,” does my relationship with Him begin to grow again.

(By the way, I look at my relationship to my family, goals I have for family development as well as growing in our knowledge of each other. In my audit I look at my mental, financial, and physical “state of the union.” On January 1 I write all my goals down and the next New Year’s Day I honestly appraise the progress (or lack thereof) with an honest, transparent eye before setting goals for the next year).

This week carefully consider: 1) How would an annual personal audit benefit me? 2) Which of the three areas of relationship is the biggest challenge for me? 3) Where do I want to show the most progress this year?

Words of Wisdom: “The ability to be alone and at peace with yourself is a test of maturity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason we also, from the day we heard about you, have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” (Colossians 1:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 3, 2024

Fred recognized the relationship between strong leadership and character. His observation that when leaders fail it is most often the result of character flaws, not lack of competence. When discussing character, Fred always turned to the importance of discipline.

The Discipline of Freedom

In my experience many men and women feel trapped in their work. During a weekend with young, growing pastors I repeatedly heard, “I’m called by God to do this, but I don’t like certain aspects of the job, and I don’t feel free to change them. I feel like a slave to the church.”

Slavery comes with very few options. Viktor Frankl established a school of psychotherapy based on his belief: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” During this retreat I talked about emotional options which illustrate Frankl’s thought. Those who feel trapped can be dedicated, enthusiastic, willing to use their best talents, or they can drag their feet, be insolent and difficult.

When feeling trapped, the key is to recognize you’re serving the wrong master. “Pastor, you are called to be the “bond-servant of Jesus Christ,” as Paul says. Too many confuse fealty to the church for allegiance to Christ. The freedom to serve Christ alone, however, requires discipline. It comes with a price – all freedom does.

A lot of people try to lease freedom instead of buying it. Leasing is trying to find small ways you can please others without totally giving yourself away. Wanting to serve Christ alone suffers with this lease agreement. The price appears to be less, but the benefit is certainly diminished.

Freedom is not irresponsibility; it is an environment in which you discharge your responsibilities. The combination of political and religious freedom combined with the Puritan work ethic is the foundation of America’s productivity. They believed we each have a talent for which we are responsible. They taught that one day we would stand before God and be judged for the use of that talent.

The more total we can make our commitment to Christ, the freer we are. We discipline our desires. Our natural inclination for freedom without responsibility is tempered. We understand and operate within the environment of freedom applying the restraints which lead to maturity and growth.

This week carefully think about: 1) How do I define freedom? 2) What price have I paid for freedom? Financial, vocational, relational, spiritual? 3) What am I willing to change if I feel trapped?

Words of Wisdom: “Freedom to serve Christ alone comes with a price – all freedom does.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is present, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 8, 2024

Fred was known for his sense of humor. He looked at situations with an “out of the box” posture long before that was in vogue. His keen sense of discernment allowed him to cut right to the heart of situations. And although quick witted he worked hard to avoid unhealthy cynicism.

Overcoming Cynicism

Cynicism has no integrity. It often takes a viewpoint which evaluates the present, but has no hope for the future… Even when the evaluation is correct. As Christians we are not without hope; we believe in the great hope of future things. Therefore, our responsibility is to make a difference wherever we are, not drop out, hide, or run away.

Recently, a bright, young executive asked me to lunch. He opened the conversation by saying, “I serve on several Christian boards and have been invited to join two national ministry boards. But as a businessman I have become cynical at what I see. You have been doing this all your adult life, how do you avoid cynicism?”

I freely admit I have a certain amount of cynicism – the healthy amount, I hope. I doubt you can be involved in Christian organizations as long as I have without it. Nevertheless, I assured him there is an antidote which comes in two parts:

1) Maintain your sense of humor. I find any human activity, whether faith-based or not, contains the frailties of humankind. To me, healthy humor eases the tension between where we are and where we ought to be. Too often in the most serious business of the Kingdom we act like court jesters. We play games, indulge in politics, defend our errors, and deny our temptations. Actually, all of these deficiencies can be a robust source for humor. Sin garbed in ecclesiastical garments is ridiculous.

2) Look for the reality amid the counterfeit. Truth creates fertile ground for deception. Where there is great reality there is opportunity for corresponding unreality. The Father of lies operates with strategies and schemes – this we know. We also know there is greater light available to us in Christ which allows us to separate the knock-off tenets of faith which lead us down the wrong path. We must keep a sharp eye open to recognize the genuine and authentic, putting aside the fake knowing reality will win out.

I do not know how this young man fared in his journey of Christian leadership. Scripture warns the church to avoid offering leadership positions to those young in the faith for they are not seasoned and subject to discouragement (and thereby cynicism). Seeing the potholes and the pitfalls with maturity prepares those who accept leadership positions.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I evaluate my own leadership qualities? 2) What tempts me to become cynical? 3) Where can I model reality and avoid the temptation of cynicism this week?

Words of Wisdom: “As Christians we are not without hope; we believe in the great hope of future things.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in him, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 24, 2024

Fred considered a disciplined life key to maturity and health. In his book Leading With Integrity, written for Christian pastors and ministry leaders he noted eight disciplines. The Discipline of Relationships outlines three elements. The ideas are transferable and translatable to all in leadership.

The Discipline of Relationships

Relationships are obviously both the personal and professional concern of the leader.

1) Your relationship to yourself. Jean Paul Sartre was once quoted as saying, “If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in poor company.” I visited a magnificent home built in a remote part of the Colorado Rockies. It was so quiet you could hear the paint drying on the walls. I thought to myself, “Only a person at peace with himself could own a home like this.” In this kind of magnificent quiet you have time to be alone with yourself. And you would have to enjoy the company. You would have to be satisfied with the way you are growing. You could not have your external struggles (or even successes) filling up your internal being. To me, one of the tests of maturity is the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.

2) Your relationship with other people. Am I increasingly able to spend time profitably with people who think differently? Immature individuals are uncomfortable with thinking, life experiences, and even faith positions. I am not advocating for the adoption of beliefs or lifestyles that are contrary to Biblical standards, but I am not afraid to engage in conversation with those who think differently. Too often, growth is stunted by requiring time be spent only with those who think exactly the same.

3) Your relationship with God. Is my relationship with God more natural, more intimate, more real? I have a friend who lost contact with God. The problem was explanation. He came to God with rationalization, not confession. He spent years trying to explain to God why he was doing what he was doing only to continue drawing away. Only when he stopped, declared “Mea culpa – I am guilty” did he find peace and reconciliation. A healthy relationship with God grows out of confession.

Relationship disciplines are inward (with ourselves); outward (with others); and upward (with God). Each demands consistent nurturing for healthy growth.

This week think about: 1) When I consider these three where do I need the most work? 2) How can I develop a plan for healthy living? 3) Who could benefit this week from these three relationships thoughts?

Words of Wisdom: “To me, one of the tests of maturity is the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who loves discipline loves knowledge.” ( Proverbs 12:1 (a) NET Bible)