Weekly Thought – December 21, 2021

Fred carried a reputation of integrity. He spoke, wrote, and mentored from a position of understanding the true responsibilities of leadership. Anyone who heard or read him were reminded of character and the critical role it plays in personal and professional decisions.

Freedom to Lead

Some leaders in business and in ministry I know feel trapped. “I’m called by God to do this, but I don’t like aspects of the job, and I don’t feel free to change them.” My experience with pastors is that many feel like slaves to the church with very few options. My corporate executive friends express the same emotions.
They do have emotional options, of course. They can choose to be dedicated, enthusiastic, willing to use their best talents, or they can drag their feet, be insolent, and hostile. Internal control is the often the only available control.

When feeling trapped Christians need to recognize they may be serving the wrong master. We are all called to be slaves of Christ, not of the church, or the business career. This freedom to serve Christ alone requires discipline. It comes with a price – all freedom does. One of Mary Alice’s friend commented, “Fred has more freedom to say what he really thinks than anybody else I know.” My wife replied, “He pays a price for it.” It is true. We who want to serve Christ as our master understand the cost. Bonhoeffer discussed the “Cost of Discipleship.”

The willingness to be disliked comes with the commitment to character and integrity. The world is uncomfortable with those whose standards exclude convenient compromise. When we make the decision to serve Christ alone, the price tag is high. It may cost a job, a relationship, or social position. Joshua asserted his leadership philosophy when he challenged the people to declare their loyalties. He wasn’t mandating but announcing when he said, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I was approached by a high profile Christian businessman who asked me to sit on his board. I said, “You don’t want me. I would see my responsibility to the organization, not to you. You couldn’t count automatically on my vote.” In saying this I was insisting on my freedom to discharge my responsibility. He quickly agreed I wasn’t the person he wanted on the board.

Freedom is not irresponsibility. I believe one reason for America’s productivity is the environment where responsible people live in freedom. The Puritan conscience is the central element: “you have a talent, you’re responsible for it, and one day you will stand before God and give an account for its use.”

This week think about: 1) How free do I currently feel? 2) What do I need to do to clarify my direction? 3) Who can help me more fully commit to Christ?

Words of Wisdom: “Freedom is not irresponsibility.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Or you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity to indulge your flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 14, 2021

Fred grew up moving frequently as his pastor father accepted different church assignments. They experienced financial hardships, but always kept their family compass focused on true North. During his lifetime he faced difficult career decisions, and setbacks. But he established a moral base early in life which served him well.

Setting Priorities for Troubled Times

Major troubles challenge our priorities. It also revises, and may I say – purifies. We decide what is really important. Trouble also gives us an opportunity to look at the situation realistically, assessing the odds. A friend called to tell me of his leukemia diagnosis. “I chose to ignore the spiritual things thinking I would deal with them later. I wasn’t in a hurry. Cancer changed that.”

Trouble makes us distill the essence of life. Let’s look at three ways:

1) What are the necessities? Too much of life is spent, or wasted, on the superficialities.
2) We ask ourselves, “Who am I becoming?” Often I ask someone if they are becoming who they want to be and many times the answer is “Oh, no, but I intend to – someday.”
3) How do I want to be remembered? What do I want on my tombstone? Fannie Crosby, author of thousands of hymns and choruses, asked her family for these words: “Aunt Fannie – she did what she could.”

Answering those three questions, we know how to spend our time, energy, and attention. Rather, we know how to invest, not spend, our resources. The answers will build a framework for reprioritizing. Good life management periodic inventories to insure we are making the “highest and best use.”

During the dark financial days in the 1980s, a couple came by the office to see me. They told of making a list of all their social relationships. Then they went back and created a second list of those who would be their friends if (and when) they went broke. This much shorter list represented their new list of true friends.

Their situation reminded me of the man who asked his wife, “Will you still love me after I’m bankrupt?” “Of course I will,” she answered sweetly, “and I will miss you, too.” She would not have been on the list of true friends.

In crucial situations it is important to assess the odds. When you are moving with the odds there is no question of progress, just the rate of progress. Some of my most successful friends work with the situations, not giving into the circumstances. My longtime friend Dr. Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary always his new students laugh when they give him a long story of incomplete assignments introduced with, “Under the circumstances…” Prof. always instantly responds, “Son, what are you doing under there?” When we are going against the odds it requires extra effort, more intense concentration, better vigilance, and keener intelligence because there is less margin for error.

Trouble clarifies; trouble verifies; and trouble makes a way to maturity.

This week think about: 1) Where are my troubles right now? 2) How am I growing from trouble? 3) Where am I finding strength and hope?

Words of Wisdom: “Trouble makes us distill the essence of life.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him.” (Ecclesiastes 8:6 ESV Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 7, 2021

Fred appreciated a prayer from William Barclay and studied its line often in preparation for speaking or teaching. One of his favorite principles of speaking was: “speak from the overflow.” He wanted to be fully prepared, not just with specific material for one lesson, but with ample content to provide a robust quality to his talks. He desired to impart life principles leading to wisdom, not just information.

The Process of Wisdom

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our study, wisdom; in our pleasure, gladness; and in our love, loyalty.”

William Barclay who spent his life studying, realized that wisdom comes by process. Scripture talks about getting knowledge, and then understanding, and then wisdom. In America we are long on knowledge, but short on wisdom. We educate the head so much better than we educate the heart. Often you hear, “How can anyone that smart be that dumb?” Their head may be smart, but their heart is ignorant.

The major problems we face today are not because we are uneducated, but because we are unwise. We see this in political confrontations. Those are educated men and women. They may have knowledge, but greatly lack wisdom. Wall Street scandals are not from lack of knowledge, but from lack of wisdom which manifests itself in lack of character.

One of the most interesting columns I’ve read in a long time is “The heartless lovers of mankind.” The author points out how dangerous intellectuals are who have theories about the welfare of mankind without regard for individual life. The writer points out Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Stalin as men who had an intellectual theory about the construction of society. Each had no regard for individuals, even those close to them. These theorists used what is called “useful murders.” Mao killed 300,000,000 while working out a social theory and philosophy. All of these men saw mankind as raw material for experimentation. They did not love people. They loved power and played with lives as pieces on a chess board.

Let me quote from T.S. Eliot: “where is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? The cycles of heaven in twenty centuries bring us further from God and nearer to the dust.”

God made us from dust to move toward God. Eliot points out that we are moving quickly back to the dust.
Knowledge will never be enough. In our high technology world we fail to complete the process moving from data to information to knowledge to wisdom. We get stuck and wisdom loses.

May we understand and believe Barclay, “in our study, wisdom.”

This week carefully consider 1) Who are the wisdom figures in my life? 2) How tempted am I to stop at knowledge? 3) What am I doing to attain and apply wisdom in my relationships?

Words of Wisdom: “Their heads may be smart, but their hearts are ignorant.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing; it benefits those who see the light of day.” (Ecclesiastes 7:11 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – November 9, 2021

Fred learned the value of planning from his mentor, Maxey Jarman. He also watched the leadership and executive habits of successful men and women, drawing on them for his own approach. In true Fred fashion, he distilled the subject down to three points which are useful and applicable.

Each month a group of men and women pray for Christian higher education – the students, parents, faculty, staff, and administration. Please sign up and join us in a time of serious need for prayer support.

Elements of Planning

I was in New York riding down to Wall Street in a cab. A priest stopped the driver asking, “Son, which way to 15th street?” The cabbie very politely explained the directions, let the priest go across the street in front of his vehicle, then turned to me and laughed. “He knows the way to heaven, but can’t get to 15th street!” Planning is both short and long range.

Effective planning includes three elements: simplicity, flexibility, and objectivity.

1) Simplicity. A lot of times I have people come into my office to tell me what they are going to do. Many times I stop them and don’t let them tell the story. Why? Too often they lose steam just telling me. I have seen people experience the thrill of the action just by telling me then avoid the execution. “Just surprise me” is what I usually say. “Tell me about it after you have done it.” Planning, if it gets too complicated, get to be an end in itself and not a means to accomplishment. Complexity is often an ego problem. When someone’s plan becomes too complicated, check for the ego involvement.

2) Flexibility. Henry Ford and his Model T exemplify the problem of rigidity. Ford definitely had a plan – the Model T. He liked it and for years so did the buying public. The jokester said, “Henry Ford offered the Model T in any color the customer wanted – as long as it was black.” Market trends changed and Ford suffered because the plan that once worked beautifully no longer satisfied the buying public. A good plan should be flexible enough so that circumstances don’t have to be forced to fit. Instead, the flexibility of the plan should allow changing circumstances can alter without self-destruction.

3) Objectivity. This means deleting the emotional aspect as much as possible. Common sense should be a key ingredient of the process. To increase the odds of a successful outcome the scientific approach is recommended. I recognize personal interest can never be completely removed, but a workable plan is better devised from an emotional distance. Enthusiasm can sell plans, but strategic thinking should take the lead in the development. Planning should be an exercise in improving the law of averages, don’t you think?

This week think about: 1) Which of the three elements is my strongest? Weakest? 2) What is my planning process? 3) How effective am I in both planning and executing?

Words of Wisdom: “Effective planning includes three elements: simplicity, flexibility, and objectivity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with abundant advisers they are established.” (Proverbs 15:22 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – November 2, 2021

Fred loved going to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN for his annual physical. He developed a cadre of friends whose conversations in their late night sessions stimulated his thinking. When he required surgery to remove a tumor along his jaw bone in the early 1950s he opted for Minnesota knowing he would receive excellent medical attention and time with his cohorts. One of his favorite visits was with Dr. Howard Rome, whose psychiatric prowess made him internationally known. They spent hours batting around philosophical questions. One was always emotional health.

Emotional Balance

Emotional balance is necessary for a healthy life. Pressure is a fact of life. Without internal tension the stem of a flower droops. Without positive tension humans tend to be unproductive. I like to think of vertical and horizontal stress: the first pulls us together and strengthens; the other pulls us apart and destroys.

I have always been intrigued with car racing and race car drivers. One of the reasons is their ability to avoid panic. This, to me, is one of the signs of emotional balance. One year a client invited me to watch the Indy 500 from the pit area. Their professionalism and disciplined demeanor is impressive. You never expect a driver in trouble to close his eyes, throw his hands up, and scream in panic. No, their minds and bodies are trained to do everything possible to avoid the wall, getting the car off the track and into the infield. Panic is not an option.

I participated in a TV show with Craig Morton. During a break I asked him what it took to be a professional quarterback. “You have to have the ability to stay cool in the pocket.” The training and natural ability to stay emotionally balanced is required.

A sense of humor is key to balance. It is the oil that lubricates, reducing life’s friction. I think of laughter as the “oil of gladness.” I don’t believe I have ever seen a list of qualities of maturity that didn’t include sense of humor. It should be a permeating trait, not separated from the other aspects of the personality. It flavors the whole. Norman Cousins, in his famous work Anatomy of an Illness, demonstrated the power of humor. We hear often “laughter is the best medicine.” Cousins proved that through his own hospital experiences. Of course, scripture spoke of that in ancient times: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” It is true.

My friend Jim Smith underwent serious cancer surgery. In the hospital he wanted to volley back and forth with funny stories, even though it hurt to laugh. As we sat there, he pulled his pillow tight against the incision and went right on laughing.

Emotional balance is critical for the all-important mind/body connection. I am convinced we can transmit messages of health from one to another if we maintain that balance.

This week carefully consider: 1) When was the last time I really laughed? 2) How prone am I to panic? 3) What do I need to do to be better at staying cool in the pocket?

Words of Wisdom: “A sense of humor is the oil that lubricates, reducing life’s friction.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Banish emotional stress from your mind and put away pain from your body, for youth and the prime of life are fleeting.” (Ecclesiastes 11:10 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 28, 2021

Fred believed in defining a lifestyle as a measure for making life decisions. He and Mary Alice set their priorities when they were newly married and renting one room from a “widow lady.” Several of their friends adopted this habit, as well. One couple said they decided how much money was enough, and when resources exceeded that limit, they increased their giving and not their consumption.

Defining a Lifestyle

A quality lifestyle doesn’t just happen – it takes hard work. When talking with those who are engaging in this exercise I ask them to consider several questions. Here are four of the principal ones:

1) What do I really enjoy doing? The thing I have a talent for, the thing I do best and enjoy the most should certainly be considered first. However, there should always be guidelines because certain things that people enjoy need to come into line with Christian thought. The lifestyle needs to be under the discipline of our scriptural faith.

2) When do I feel good about myself? This is the second defining question. What makes me feel I have meaning, worth, and uniqueness? Too many trade their gifts for money and success. Too many become a human medium of exchange sacrificing the gifts given for usefulness, not just for commerce. If meaning is derived only from getting and not giving, a dangerous line has been crossed.

3) When do I feel joy? What creates a deep sense of satisfaction? When do I get the “life should be like this more often” feeling? Personally, this comes in times of genuine worship. It is not limited to church services alone. It is in those times when I sense the largeness of God and the smallness of Fred. When I feel the smallest I feel the most secure.

4) What gives me balance and authenticity? Speaking to a large group of executives I mentioned the fact that it is wonderful to wake up at 2:00 in the morning and the “little guy” inside is happy to talk with me. But if he says, “Get lost. I’ve lost respect for you,” then I know I am in trouble. One of the men jumped up, saying, “Man, you have plowed up a snake!” I knew right away he had spent some early morning hours wrestling with his little guy.

There must be ethical harmony within the lifestyle we define. Our life must reflect good relations with our family, friends, and associates. A healthy lifestyle definition strives for a compatible, beautiful, harmonious life.

This week think about: 1) Which of the questions makes me really think? 2) How am I communicating this exercise to others? 3) When I have a definition, what will I do with it?

Words of Wisdom: “If meaning is derived only from getting and not giving, a dangerous line has been crossed.”

Wisdom from the Word: “You have made known to me the paths of life; you will make me full of joy with your presence.” (Acts 2:28 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 31, 2021

Fred loved stimulating conversation. He developed the skill of cultivating interesting people. He, also, knew how to nurture these abilities in others. Ever a teacher, he thought analytically forming ideas in such a way they could be easy communicated and used.

Creating Favorable Attention

Unfavorable attention can be damaging to careers and relationships. Discourteous interruption, yawns, inappropriate dressing, or excessive exaggeration create attention – the wrong kind.

Bill Russell, the great basketball player and coach, said the first thing a player in his first All-Pro game thinks about is avoiding making a humiliating mistake. He said it is important to get into the game, and get comfortable before going for the big play. This principle works in social and business situations.

Unfortunately, our media-hyped culture has developed the concept that all attention is good – “just spell my name right!” Very few of us can afford press agents, so it is up to us to make sure our coverage is favorable. Careers can hinge on a minor faux pas and major gaffes.

Think about conversations… sometimes we are so eager to get into the conversation we come in clumsily on our left foot. Knowing this about ourselves, we should program ourselves for quietness, depending on attentive listening until we become comfortable and sense the rhythm of the conversation. A talented middle management person I know will probably never move to the top simply because the first two minutes of almost conversation is ruined. The social insecurity negates the professional expertise. Upon introduction, sarcasm and sassy remarks becomes the tools of choice… bad choice. Quiet followed by constructive remarks would change the entire perception. Simply rehearsing ways of entering conversations could make a tremendous difference in career advancement.

Competitive – or worse, combative – remarks in the beginning of a conversation (particularly with strangers or mere acquaintances) reminds me of the movie cowboy who pushes open the saloon doors shouting, “I can whip any man here!”

Self-deprecation is not the answer. The person whose insecurity drives them to dispel nervousness through self-effacement. This always creates a negative impression. Accepting compliments is an important skill to develop. A gracious woman accepted a compliment on her attire demonstrating her skill. “Thank you so much. I’ll remember your compliment every time I wear this dress.” She accepted praise by making it about the other person. In accepting she received favorable attention.

Poise demonstrates control. Gaining favorable attention means managing any habits that result in unfavorable attention. Spending time assessing and asking close friends to give feedback can allow personal development which makes a significant difference in the way we are perceived and received. And then practice makes perfect.

This week think carefully about: 1) How aware am I of habits that create negative attention? 2) Who could give me honest, helpful feedback? 3) What process do I have in place (or need) to promote favorable attention?

Words of Wisdom: “Unfavorable attention can be damaging to careers and relationships.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” (Proverbs 13:3 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 24, 2021

Fred appreciated Albert Einstein. One of his favorite Einstein quotes inspired his own thinking: “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.” He avoided conversation filled with fluff and flattery.

Beginning next week we will begin adding content from the thousands of 3×5 cards Fred kept as a personal resource from his own thoughts, as well as quotes from others. We are working to create a permanent archive for these cards and their profound wisdom. Would you pray for us as we dive into this very deep pool? Thank you.

Conversational Simplicity

Mary Alice in a very untypical choice became interested in an old black and white western movie. The main characters were a thirtyish, soft-spoken farmer’s wife; the farmer; and a toddler baby boy. The wife died leaving the man to raise the boy. As she lay dying he shared his dream of building her a house with a porch and rocking chairs under the hackberry tree.

When the wife died the husband with singleness of purpose dedicated himself to raising the son. The commitments he made required very little conversation. They were total, simple, direct, and all-consuming.

Commitment is a large part of the simple life. Paul said, “this one thing I do.” Modern man says, “these many things I will try.” They rarely settle on any one thing as being completely worthy of a focused life.

The simple farmer felt that living out a simple life, fulfilling his responsibilities, and not asking too much was all the reward that life offered him. There is great dignity in this. Advertising in all its forms creates discontent, shouting at us about what we do not have and what we should be getting. Few people in our culture would sit under a hackberry tree after a hard day’s work. True essence is elegant by its nature and doesn’t need additional external trappings.

The farmer spoke to his baby boy, “I’ll raise you good if it takes every breath in my body.” Simple elegance.

This simplicity was part of the man. In this film his conversation was never more than two or three words. That certainly made it easier on the script writer!

The farmer said things simply, not feeling that he had to justify or rationalize or make himself look good by his conversation. Much of urban conversation is impressing, justifying, embellishing, and talking for effect. When men and women come to me for counsel on public speaking I tell them one of the very first rules is: “Speak to express, not to impress.”

The truth simply spoken is a brilliant jewel in an elegant Tiffany mounting… understated yet always appropriate.

This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I monitor my conversational motivations? 2) What do I do when I recognize I am trying to impress, not just express? 3) Who models clear, simple conversation?

Words of Wisdom: “Speak to express, not to impress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:6 NIV Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 3, 2021

Fred’s commitment to “a life worth living” never waned. Even in his last hours he struggled to speak wisdom to those who came to say goodbye. Identifying his “uniqueness” as he called it, and maximizing its use for indeed a lifetime endeavor. He died as he lived – with purpose and faith.

Please pray for our friends in Christian higher education. Challenges are great, but their resolve is even greater. We would encourage you to join those who pray monthly for them as participants in our Breakfast With Fred Prayer Network.

Living A Life That Matters

A life worth living is available, but it must be earned. You must earnestly and honestly want it. Emerson said, “Be careful young man what you want, for you will have it.” He spoke of the thing you want from deep down in your heart – the lodestar, the thing that is the magnet to which you are drawn. Many people I see really don’t want the life they’ve got; they want something else, but they haven’t been willing to endure the pain of defining what they want.

One of the most telling truths of Christ’s ministry was at the pool of Bethsaida when he asked the man who had been there for 38 years: “Do you really want to be healed?” I used to think that was a very foolish question, but the longer I live with people, the more I need to know what they honestly want.

When a young executive comes to one of my friends in senior management and says he is unable to complete an assignment he asks,” Is this something you can’t or won’t do?” Then he goes on to say, “If you can’t do it, I can help you. If you won’t do it, nobody can help you.” So much time is wasted by people trying to help others who don’t want to be helped. I am not in the business of building a 95% bridge.

There are two questions I want to ask of those who want my help in achieving a life worth living:

1) What have you done to help yourself? The other evening I visited with a middle-aged man who looked like a comer when he was young. I’ve been surprised that he has not really made a success of his life. He left a large corporation he joined directly from college. He was a bright and promising young rising star. I began to understand it when we talked about the disciplines necessary to pull ourselves out of emotional slumps. He said, “Sometimes I just like being down there and I don’t want anybody to pull me out until I have completely enjoyed the funk.” I saw he had developed a negative narcissism that a successful executive simply cannot afford.

2) Where have I been willing to ask for help? There are times when we cannot do it alone. We need someone else to help and we must ask for that assistance. Of course, there are times when only Go can provide the help. In either case, we must be humble enough to reach out and say, “Please help.” False pride will extinguish the fire of a meaningful life.

The life you have is the result of your choices. If you want a different life you must make different choices. A life worth living is a life worth wanting.

This week carefully consider: 1) How satisfied am I with my life? 2) What choices have set me in this direction? 3) Who can help me assess my current condition?

Words of Wisdom: “I am not in the business of building a 95% bridge.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But tell the people of Jerusalem that the LORD says, ‘I will give you a choice between two courses of action. One will result in life; the other will result in death.’” (Jeremiah 21:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 29, 2021

Fred rarely sat down and said to his children, “Listen up, I am going to give you wise words.” On occasion he did sit down at his old Selectric typewriter, masterfully using the two finger “hunt and peck system.” This week’s thought is unusual, personal, and brief. Found after Father’s Day his daughter Brenda shared a memo sent in April, 1992. As always, the truths are timely and timeless.

Fatherly wisdom

To Brenda

Today you took another step in the same direction, not a new road. You are on your way to develop marketable career skills and relations. Increased income and/or company promotion is important, but not controlling. Progress, not winning/losing is your emphasis.

Your continued strengths are your integrity, learnability, relations, knowledge, and superior effort. Keep networking and upward as much as possible. Power is a necessity for action. A small vital effective fish will be put into a larger lake. I like to look out of place where I am and like I belong in a larger one. Be the kind of person others want to help succeed. Keep your contact in good repair – neglected contacts corrode.

Along the way make use of mentors and sponsors (not always the same). You need a challenging situation among real pros. The good student calls forth the good teacher…”when the student is ready the teacher will appear” so goes the ancient Greek saying. In the meantime learn from everyone all you can. Share what you have with others and so feel worthy of help you might get.

These are just a few thoughts running through my mind for the last few days as I have thought about your move into the sales manager’s job. Also I might add: every title has a value in your climb up the executive ladder.

Bless, Dad.

This week think about: 1) What words do I have for my children? 2) Which of Fred’s counsel really hits home for me? 3) How faithful am I to consider my family, my colleagues, and my friends?

Words of Wisdom: “Progress, not winning/losing is your emphasis.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Listen, children, to a father’s instruction, and pay attention so that you may gain discernment.” (Proverbs 4:1 NET Bible)