Weekly Thought – October 6, 2026

Fred kept a plaque in his office which said, “Any man who kneels to God can stand up to anything.” It was a gift from Dallas friend Mattie Caruth Byrd. She affectionately called her oilman husband D.H. (for dry hole). Fred and Mary Alice were visiting with them one evening.

Harold was dwelling on his drilling miscues when Mattie walked into the room with two plaques. “Pick one,” she said. “Okay, Fred, you take the other.” Before handing it to him she said, “Harold, it is only a dry hole – move on and dig again.” Fred kept it as a reminder of his friends, but also of the much bigger message about choosing your response to circumstances.

Bitter or Better

A pastor received the diagnosis of fast-moving Alzheimer’s in his mid-fifties. He faced the end of his vibrant ministry and the death of his dream. He called the board together, told them what the doctors said and made this statement: “When I am incompetent to lead this congregation would you promise me I can clean up the fellowship hall and do other menial tasks as long as I am able? I want to know my life will still be one of service to the people of God.” He could be bitter. He could struggle with “why God?” But he didn’t. Now, I am not saying he didn’t have some very difficult days. I am not taking a Pollyanna view of his situation. But, he made a decision to become better, not bitter. When I heard this story I thought of the scriptural affirmation: “We are more than conquerors through Him who loves us.”

My friend Bax Ball lost an eye when he was three years old. He refused to use the loss as an excuse. When he went to an Ivy League school he checked to see if anyone has ever carried straight As and lettered in four sports. Finding none, he set his mind to achieve this goal – with one eye. Bax made a decision to be better, not bitter.

For many years I stayed close to a young man I met when he was in college. He experienced great business success and received many personal accolades. One day he called to say he was in chapter 11. We talked for awhile and at the appropriate time I gave him a saying which has been extremely helpful to me in difficult times: “Only your plans have failed, you have not.” Too often we get our ego so tied up with our plans we forget we are more than what we do.

Our experiences make us either bitter or better – we make the choice.

Think about: 1) What situation in my life right now requires this choice? 2) How can I turn bitter into better? 3) Who needs to hear Fred’s words today?

Words of Wisdom: “Only your plans have failed – you haven’t.”

Wisdom from the Word: “No, in all these things we have complete victory through Him who loved us!” (Romans 8:37 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 29, 2026

Fred and Mary Alice read “My Utmost For His Highest” everyday for nearly 50 years. Their first copy was given to them by Mrs. Orene Howard of Phoenix. Fred considered her the epitome of graciousness. It was a virtue he aspired to acquire. As a young businessman, he identified Will McGrath, CEO of a Cincinnati company who exemplified graciousness. He asked for a signed photograph and kept it in his office to remind him of the importance of living a life of grace.

Grace To You

It is hard for me to envision a mature Christian who isn’t gracious. Only in recognizing what we have been given in the gift of salvation do we really understand true grace. It is our privilege to be a distributor of grace to others. Gracious people cover the faults of others with love; tolerate mistakes; forego judgment; and, give encouragement.

Grace, like gratitude, is a flow through emotion. To keep it to ourselves is futile – it only rots like day old manna. We are shown grace in order to show grace to others. The constant flow refreshes us. I commented on a woman’s graciousness once and she responded: “Fred, thanks for noticing. I have dedicated it to Jesus Christ.”

There is a distinct difference between courtesy and graciousness. Courtesy can be used to manipulate others; grace has a purity of motive.

“Christians are supposed to be gracious, so working on it makes it phony.” I think that’s baloney. Reflexive grace is the result of good habits which are the results of conscious choices. We do it by an act of the will (and the help of the Spirit) until it becomes a knee jerk reaction and looks like our “natural self.” I once met the maid of violinist Heifetz. “You are so fortunate to work for such a great violinist.” “No, he’s a fake.” I was shocked and asked what she meant. “Well, when he stands out there and plays it looks so easy and he does it without any music, but I know better.” “At home he practices and practices, using music. Then he gets up there and plays all different.” I have always said the sign of a true genius is that the performance looks simple enough for anyone else to do it. He wasn’t a phony – he was a conscious perfectionist. Being gracious is like that – we need to practice until it looks easy.

Graciousness is the thoughtful, generous, unselfish wishing the best for the other person. It is one of God’s qualities and I would say that makes it a worthwhile goal for me.

This week think about: 1) Who is the most gracious person I know? 2) How hard am I working on being “full of grace?”3) Who do I need to thank for their graciousness?

Words of Wisdom: “Reflexive grace is the result of good habits which are the results of conscious choices.”

Words of Wisdom: “The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.” (Numbers 6:25 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 22, 2026

Fred was known for his sense of humor. His capacity to remember punch lines amazed his friends. One sleepless night he made a mental list of 200 “stories.” He found humor in the strangest places. When asked about this, he said, “I either laugh or have high blood pressure.” When the children misbehaved he often reminded his wife Mary Alice, “the things we cry about today we will laugh about tomorrow.”

Humor is for Grownups

There’s no way to be truly mature without a well-developed sense of humor. Humor is accepting the fallibility of man – it resides in the area between perfection and imperfection, between where we are where we would like to be (or people think we are). The ability to laugh at yourself will insulate you from other ego mistakes.

Christianity Today’s Leadership Journal did a survey of its readers about content preferences. Not surprisingly, they found the first thing people read were the cartoons. Often, the most profound messages are contained in dialogue balloons.

One of my great stress relievers has been to see the funny side of my mistakes. It is easy to save face by laughing. Making ourselves human by the use of humor is a good technique. Humor is part of a healthy rhythm of life. It relieves the monotony.

But humor can be abused. I think sarcasm and malicious practical jokes are poorly disguised hostility. People who use humor to embarrass, castigate, or ostracize are cruel. Misused humor is a sign of immaturity.

Humor is communal – we like to laugh together. A friend told me he called a school friend every Sunday and read the comic pages together. I ran into my good friend Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, the international speaker and writer, at the Chicago airport. He gave me his world-famous Charlie hug, then handed me a book saying, “Read this!” For the next hour, we read pages of extemporaneous speeches collected in a book. We could have wasted the time with small talk, but instead we shared an hour of good-natured laughter.

Humor is developed as is appreciation for art or music. Understanding the responsibility of using humor well is part of the maturity process. The wise and good use allows us to improve relationships, relieve tension, provide psychological breaks, reduce conflict, and add an emotional lubricant to any situation.

This week consider: 1) What makes me laugh? 2) When is the last time I chose laughter over high blood pressure? 3) How am I teaching others to laugh?

Words of Wisdom: “Laugh or have high blood pressure.”

Wisdom from the Word: “At that time we laughed loudly and shouted for joy!” (Psalm 126:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 8, 2026

Fred knew the Bible spoke more about money than almost any other subject. He filled hundreds of files with one-liners, speech memos, letters, and passing thoughts regarding financial wisdom. He was interested in the philosophy of money. He created filters through which he passed experiences, opportunities, and people. Fred’s other area of intense thought was discipline. These disciplines served him well as he employed them to finish well.

Staying On Track

A few early disciplines served me well. I adopted these when I was making $208 a month in 1941.

1) Define a lifestyle then find a way to finance it. Earning as much money as I could never seemed to be the right focus for my life. Some advise, “Make all you can and then develop a lifestyle to consume the money.” That is materialism. It is also frustrating and most who espouse this philosophy find it lacking in meaning. We outlined a general lifestyle spread over a number of years that would be useful, pleasant, and full. Then we established the specifics from which we created our budget. As our earning capacity increased, we continued defining the lifestyle first, adding in a few luxuries (but not enough to live luxuriously). We wanted to avoid the pressures of temptation. By setting our own standard we avoided social competition.

2) Maintain adequate savings. Early in our married life we determined to save enough to be liquid for a year without working. Without savings a person can become a financial slave. It cost us in our early years because we had to forego a car, live in a one room flat, and do without many things others considered necessities. Adequate savings gives more than just a feeling of security. It provides a foundation for moral decisions you may be called upon to make. I once took a moral stand in a board room which was made much easier because I knew they didn’t have me hamstrung by my need for the next paycheck. In my earlier, more irreverent days I called my savings account FFGTHF (Fat Fred’s Go to Hell Fund). I was assuring myself I could always look a bad situation in the eye and say, “go take a running leap.”

3) Understand financial security. Security is a feeling, not a fact. No amount of money can actually give us security and yet we need to find a place of financial peace. Mary Alice and I decided what we would need for our ultimate needs, medical care, lifestyle maintenance, etc. and created a plan to get there. At first it was only about savings, but then as we reached the specific amount, it shifted to investment, putting “deposits in the memory bank,” charitable giving, and personal development. It was important to learn to feel as secure in our spending as it was in our savings. As a card-carrying member of the “waste not, want not” fan club, this was hard for me. I loved to say to our children: “A fool and his (her) money is soon parted.” But financial security was the attitude of providing for outflow, as well as inflow.

This week think about: 1) What does money mean to me right now? 2) What is my FFGTHF number? 3) How do I define financial security?

Words of Wisdom: “It was as important to feel secure in our spending as it was in our saving.”

Wisdom from the Word: “On the first day of the week, each of you should set aside some income and save it to the extent that God has blessed you so that a collection will not have to be made when I come.” (1 Corinthians 16:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 1, 2026

Fred and Mary Alice sat in their chairs, side by side, watching the devastation of 9/11/01. Fred loved New York City. During his consulting years with GENESCO and Mobil, he spent happy hours with Maxey Jarman or Harry Peckheiser exploring the wonders of the city he dreamed about as a young boy.

The destruction gave him opportunities to think about the nature of man. He also looked at questions he asked a group when talking about “things” as part of a Christian’s life. As we remember one of our country’s greatest losses, it is appropriate to share these “points to ponder.”

The Power of Possessions

My friend and mentor Maxey Jarman wrote a long memo to me responding to a question I posed about the loss of “things.” His summarized it: “A time of reversal and loss is a good time for a person to take stock of himself to see what he really wants out of life, whether he wants things that have eternal value, real value, or whether he particularly wants to have the kind of things that the world puts great value on.” He experienced great financial reversal, yet saw the blessing. Things were temporal; he built on the eternal.

In preparation for a men’s retreat on excellence, I thought about the power of possessions and asked myself and the group the following questions:
1) Am I obsessive about things, being either materialistic or antimaterialistic?
2) Do I use things as an escape from boredom?
3) Do I substitute things for accomplishment?
4) Am I able to “sit loose to things,” as Chambers says?
5) Is my view temporal or eternal?
6) What do things symbolize for me?
7) Am I accumulating things that appreciate or depreciate?
8) Does my anticipation of acquisition match my enjoyment?
9) How often do I use things to impress others?
10) How do I define the Christian view of possessions?
11) What traditions am I building as a legacy?
12) Do I acquire by plan or by impulse?
13) How do I define my lifestyle?
14) How high a price will I pay to be accepted?
15) Would I sacrifice excellence for wealth?
16) How would I respond if I lost everything?

This week carefully consider: 1) Which question made me stop? 2) What is my relationship to things? 3) Where is my security?

Words of Wisdom: “Things were temporal; he built on the eternal.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal.” (Matthew 6:19 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 4, 2026

Fred “changed his address from earth to heaven” on August 17, 2007. It is one of the few times in the year of weekly thoughts, his daughter and BWF President Brenda steps out and makes personal remarks. Dad’s desire to be helpful, productive, and useful marked his entire life. The thousands of pieces of paper in my BWF files attest to Dad’s belief in writing everything down he believed worth remembering. I am most grateful for this habit, for it makes breakfastwithfred.com and the Weekly Thought possible.

Some of my most prized possessions are letters from him. A few were pages long; many others were ripped off scraps of paper with simply a scripture reference or a phrase, but all were sent to encourage me on the way .Thank you for sharing in the legacy of his God-given wisdom. Continue to stretch others and as he would say, “write it down.”

Selective “Selectric” Thinking

Writing gives one many advantages: clarity in our thoughts, precision in our words, additional tools for thinking, and organization in our presentation. A writer doesn’t have to be a literary stylist. You must decide what you need to say, how you can best do it, and of course, always determine your purpose for saying anything at all. Speaking has always come more naturally for me, although I work very hard at honing my skills. Having a message is critical to both writers and speakers. My good friend, Zig Ziglar, tells of the young man who rushed up to him almost breathless, “I want to do just what you do!” “Well, young man, what is your message?” “Oh,” he answered, “I don’t have one, but I can get one – I want to be on stage.” Writing is like that because you have to have a message.

Brevity is a beneficial byproduct of writing. In ordinary business writing we must be our own editors. Most want more space than they deserve. Rewriting is a courtesy to the reader and to us when making decisions. Concise writing indicates clear thinking. Writing it down burns the fuzz off.

I strongly recommend making notes of what you hear. Retention is better and they spur our own creative thinking. Notes are a storehouse for future reference. Over the 46 years of association with Maxey Jarman I took voluminous notes. What better source of reading than the ideas you have been impressed with enough to capture? No one has a good enough memory to recall one-tenth of all the good and helpful things we hear. Write them down.

May I say a warm word for letters? I may have written a few thousand personal letters in my life. It is my joy and curse. I probably think more letters than I actually get down for I thoroughly dislike courtesy only, fluffy ones. “Smith’s Night Letters” are typed with two fingers on my old IBM Selectric with a continuous roll of paper fed through the back. Sometimes a friend gets two inches of letter. Other times, they get one three feet long! I don’t have copies of those letters, but I have the memories of great nocturnal journeys spent in conversation pecking away.

This week think about: 1) How much clearer is my thinking when I write it down first? 2) Where do I do my best thinking? 3) What letter is in my mind that should be put to paper?

Words of Wisdom: “Writing burns the fuzz off our thinking.”

Wisdom from the Word: “David said, ‘All of this I put in writing as the Lord directed me and gave me insight regarding the details of the blueprints.’” (1 Chronicles 28:19 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 14, 2026

Fred was a realist. He looked at life through a theological grid which saw mankind as fallen with the opportunity for redemption. Their son, Fred, once asked his Dad, “If you had only one speech left to give, what would be the topic?” Fred, Sr.’s answer: “The nature of man and the nature of God.” He understood the human condition, but also accepted the good news of God’s word.

Managing Fear

Most of our fears are the everyday garden variety, but they are still very real. We have nagging fears of self-doubt and discouragement. We dread sickness and loneliness. We, as Christians, God doesn’t give us a “spirit of fear.” We know He doesn’t give us a constant fearful condition. However, we must still fight against destructive anxieties in order to experience the “love and power and a sound mind” which is promised.

Some of our fears are natural reactions to hurt and inadequacy. They are not phantom emotions; they are surely real. Because they are, we must deal with them realistically.

When fear becomes unbearable we run in terror or strike out blindly without a plan. Once I suffered a terrible embarrassment. I knew right then what people meant when they said they wanted to scream or faint. To scream would be to let others know of my fear. I wanted to faint to avoid the entire situation.

It is only when fear becomes a hindrance to our concentration and an impediment to our normal functions of life that we need to attack it. Oftentimes, we must just wait it out. If it hangs on, then we must take the responsibility to drive it away or keep it manageable.

Some fear is good. A true existence requires healthy fear. Most winners are driven by the fear of failure. Athletes call it, “playing for pride.” Fear turns on our juices, but we must use them constructively. Properly controlled, fear becomes our cautious guide. Treated intelligently, it guides us around dangers. Only when it gets out of control does it begin to guide us into the dark places which lead to immobilization. The wise man fears the loosed lion; the fool fears the lion in a cage.

Years ago, Charlie McCormick of spice fame, gave me a line he saw on an English pub wall: “Fear knocked at the door; faith answered, and no one was there.” “Perfect love casts out fear.” The reason simply this: fear is recognizing our vulnerability and love is accepting it. Fear respects vulnerability and love, like a sponge, absorbs it.

This week think about: 1) How healthy are my fears? 2) When has fear protected me? 3) Where does fear immobilize me?

Words of Wisdom: “The wise man fears the loosed lion; the fool fears the lion in a cage.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For I am the Lord your God, the one who takes hold of your right hand, who says to you, ‘Don’t be afraid, I am helping you.’” (Isaiah 41:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 7, 2026

Fred loved exercise, if done by others. He teased Dr. Ken Cooper, founder of the world-renowned Cooper Clinic and Aerobics Center in Dallas one of his favorite activities was driving through the donut shop, parking, and eating while he watched others run. But he believed serving others meant taking care of himself. He chose manual “temporary” projects around the house as his favorite outlet for fitness. He was the king of duct tape!

Head in the Game

As a way of starting, let me ask you to take a piece of paper, draw a line from top to bottom, dividing it into two columns. On the left, list those emotions which you must discipline in order to stay mentally healthy. These are the ones that bring us mental discomfort or even make us sick. On the right, list the one that move us toward healthy living. For example, unrestrained anger, jealousy, greediness would be on the left; gratitude, excitement, and positive tension would be on the right.

The next step is to use our willpower to focus on the healthy and avoid the unhealthy. Until we identify them and their affect on us, we cannot do anything about it. But we need to recognize that emotions vary in their affect. Fear may be paralyzing and immobilizing to one person, while it is only distracting to another, or even energizing. I cannot make a list for you, nor you for me. But we can think about it together.

One important point is most emotional problems are not sin, per se. they are the result of being human and living in a human, fallen world. But we have to recognize that sin does play a part in some situations. When this is true, willpower isn’t the answer – repentance is. We must take responsibility for emotional difficulties that are sin-based. I cannot handle my rebellious spirit by calling it an unhealthy attitude. No amount of counseling will cure me. I must confess, repent, and go God’s way.

I wish there were an easy way to maintain a healthy mental life without discipline, but there isn’t. In many ways our will is who we are and who we will become. Actually, a harmful emotion can be turned into a good one by the action of this will.

Scripture talks about self-control and it speaks of it as a purposeful action. That is the way to emotional health. I found out a long time ago, if you decide to live with the unhealthy emotions, decide also to indulge and suffer. Health is a choice.

This week consider: 1) How do I handle negative emotions? 2) Which emotions are the best for my mental health? 3) Who models emotional health for me?

Words of Wisdom: “If you decide to live with the unhealthy emotions, decide also to indulge and suffer.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 9, 2026

Fred loved golf. He began playing when he was 50 and never stopped studying the game. At one time they had a weekend home on a golf course. He started picking up lost balls – when he ended up with 1000, Mary Alice called a halt. And, just like every other area of his life, he grew by asking questions and by continually learning.

Boy in the Mirror

When I wake up at 2:00 am and the little boy inside won’t speak to me, I know I am in trouble. For me, self-respect is measured by my relationship to that little boy. I like to stay on good terms with him.

Self-respect is the basis of excellent internal relations. It calls us to fulfill our mission, to use our talent, to improve ourselves, to become a person we enjoy living with. Self-respect must be a permeating influence in our life, centered in our heart and radiating out through our actions.

I was active in the development of 26,000 acres in Colorado which drew families from all over the country. The grandeur of the mountains, the beauty of the lakes, and the mountain climate attracted many who came for tranquility. Too bad many of them thought the surroundings and the excitement of a new development would ensure a fresh start and a peaceful life. Instead, the contrast between their external environment and their internal turmoil drove them away. They looked into the mirror and only saw ugliness. So, they packed up and took their problems to the next place.

There are some questions we can use to measure (or at least approximate) the state of our internal relationship:
1) Is my self-respect increasing? Where are the hollow spots? Are they growing or decreasing?
2) Am I content with who I am becoming?
3) Am I willing to be known for who I am rather than an acquired mask?
4) Do I have to maneuver my relationships to avoid closeness?
5) How deep are my relationship roots? Can they withstand adversity?
6) Do I feel alienated from my own relational history?
7) Am I trying to buy my way with others, binding them to me with a golden chain?
8) Am I making peace with my own mortality?
9) Is gratitude a growing emotion knowing I have nothing but what I have been given?
10) Am I increasingly willing to give before I get?
11) Do I feel my life becoming more integrated, bound together by my faith?
12) Can I love?

This week think about: 1) Which question is the hardest to answer? 2) How am I doing with the little boy (little girl)? 3) Where am I growing?

Words of Wisdom: “Self-respect is the basis for excellent internal relations.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May grace and peace be lavished on you as you grow in the rich knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord!” (1 Peter 1:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 2, 2026

Fred believed in discipline. Those four words are a powerful understatement to those who knew him. He lived his life considering and paying the price to make a contribution and to steward his uniqueness. He didn’t believe in “happy talk” which fooled people into believing accomplishment came without work. The wish ethic took a total backseat to the work ethic. He believed in motivating himself to “love and good deeds.”

Urged and Spurred

As humans on earth we are motivated and gravitated. The weight we can lift is the amount we can overcome, whether it is the press of gravity or the pressure of negative circumstances. Unfortunately, we sometimes underestimate the power of both and assume we are weightless. Mythological creatures crashed to earth when attempting to fly and human beings fall flat when they neglect to assess the need to overcome.

When the positive motivation for accomplishment is let go, the negative motivation for immobility takes over. This is why we cannot stand still.

It is important to measure our motivations. Here are three pegs for our thinking on this subject:
1) How do I define enjoyable activity? Have you ever attended a function and noticed some who were clearly miserable? They felt obligated to be there, but didn’t enjoy a minute of it. Positive motivation must be healthily enjoyable. As individuals, we have the right, even the responsibility, to decide what we healthily enjoy and avoid the unhealthy.
2) What am I doing that matters? So much of what we do makes such a little difference and it drains our energy and spends our time. I decided a long time ago to invest my time, not just spend it. What I mean is this: I invest my time in the people who are closest to me, the causes that are most important, those things that use my unique talents, and those efforts that accomplish meaningful contributions in the lives of others.
3) How am I implementing the needful? For example, I believe it is needful to do something every day that I don’t want to do, simply to continue developing my willpower. The will is a muscle. It may be our most important one and it must be exercised to be ready when called upon. Will power becomes flabby in a hurry. It cannot be made permanently strong. Another need is to take time with people from whom you get absolutely nothing but with whom you need to be human. Ridding ourselves of negative emotions is needful. The farmer must chop the weeds not just because he dislikes weeds, but because they use resources in the soil necessary for profitable crops.

This week think about: 1) How motivated am I? 2) What matters most to me? 3) Where am I most disciplined? Least?

Words of Wisdom: “One of the secrets of self-motivation is realizing when something doesn’t satisfy, more of it still won’t satisfy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Finally then, brothers and sisters we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received instruction from us about how you must live and please God (as you are in fact living) that you do so more and more.” (1 Thessalonians 4:1 NET Bible)