Weekly Thought – June 21,2022

Fred looked at life’s patterns. His remarkable understanding of principles allowed him to analyze and categorize life seasons. One which is recognized as helpful by many is the description of valleys and plateaus.

Celebrate the Highs and Lows

Sound development requires a program providing plateaus where our information is turned into knowledge through experience, then heading to another climb. The healthy individual uses the plateau(or valley)for assimilation before starting out again. Those who try to go up too fast run out of steam or poorly assimilate their experiences. They develop hollow spots.
The danger is not accepting the plateau as normal and becoming hooked on reaching the peak where we try to stay too long or even artificially filling up the valley with drugs, alcohol, or busyness.

Each of us must respect the principle that the food we grow in the valley (on the plateau) we eat on the mountain top (the climb). If we were to graph personal development the line would not go straight up. Our bodies and minds are designed for ups and downs.

Maturity and age are not synonymous. I am convinced the concept of plateaus and climbs is an accurate measure of development. Those who live believing the “best is yet to be” tend to understand the value of the valleys, learning as much as possible in preparation for the next climb. When we start circling round and round aimlessly without assimilating and certainly without attaining the climb, we are aging.

The purposefulness of the method is critical to grasp. The cycle has a rhythm which cannot be violated. Young “world beaters” often call me wanting to discuss their futures. Quickly I can ascertain if they have a hold on the principle of climbing, then plateauing to assimilate, then climbing again. Those who see the valleys as the abode of the losers don’t get a second appointment. I know they will burn out without making the contribution of those who practice alternating climbing and plateauting.

As we apply this principle we can identify progress is not equally distributed. Think of the various divisions of life: career, family, social life, financial and physical health – all are vital elements of life. Each requires its own charting of the plateaus and the climbs. Each must have its own development plan acknowledging all may (and probably will) have differing time lines for growth and maturity.

This week think about: 1) How well do I manage this principle? 2) What helps me to be most productive in the valleys? 3) Which area of life experiences the most dramatic highs and lows?

Words of Wisdom: “Those who try to go up too fast run out of steam or poorly assimilate their experiences. They develop hollow spots.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For everything there is an appointed time, and an appropriate time for every activity on earth.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 14, 2022

Fred when asked by his son “Dad, if you had one more talk to give what would be the topic?” He answered, “the nature of God and the nature of man.” Understanding both were fundamental to his thinking about how the world worked. Managing emotions was a lifelong study for Fred.

Wait To Worry

Worry is the nagging headache of the soul. I as once a fulltime worrier, but I relinquished my membership in the club somewhere in the 1940s as I looked at my goals and whatever obstacles hindered me. Resigning from this club is hard to do for once you join getting out is difficult. Maybe my experience will be helpful to you.

Now I wasn’t a part-time worrier – I was no amateur. I couldn’t call it quits at night because that would be downright disrespect for my status as a professional worrier. Instead, I sat up with a pot of coffee – rocking, drinking coffee, and worrying. When I finally went to bed I didn’t just lie there tossing and turning – I would lie there and perk!

I decided to stop worrying. After years of thought and practice I made it. Here is what I found out: Most of my worry came before I had any facts. After I got the facts I was so busy working out the answer I didn’t take the time to worry. Therefore, I wrote on the inside of my skull – WAIT TO WORRY. Every time I started to worry I asked myself if I had all the facts. If I didn’t then I told myself “wait to worry.” Gradually a habit formed and after two or three years worrying was conquered.

However, in the process I found some interesting things about worry. For example, I saw a survey that showed 40% of what people worry about things that have passed; 30% never will happen; 22% when it happens will be so minor it won’t be worth worrying about; and only 8% will be real. That meant I was 92% wrong in my worrying. I wanted to do better than that.

Another thing I discovered was what we worry about today we will probably laugh about tomorrow. Listen to people at a class reunion laugh about things that weren’t funny at all at the time they originally happened, but they are now. Our children learned when things got tense to ask, “Dad, is this something we are going to laugh about tomorrow?” Those children are now parents and I hear them repeating those words to their kids.

This week think about: 1) What keeps me up at night? 2) How am I overcoming the worry habit? 3) Who models emotional maturity for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Wait to Worry”

Wisdom from the Word: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear.” (Luke 12:22 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 31, 2022

Fred illustrated his principles in ways his audiences could apply. Although he understood advanced theoretical content, he believed his giftedness included communicating ideas in transferable ways. He thought of ideas as pans which needed handles to pass from one person to another in the kitchen. He wanted to make sure he provided accessible handles.

Emotional Energy

We all come with a portfolio of emotions. Learning to manage them profitably is our job. Emotional situations produce energy. The better we manage and control and response to them, the better able we are to successfully utilize the energy.

Often the rigid person is blown apart by the very emotions that could have produced positive energy. I think about the way cars are designed. They are propelled by a series of controlled explosions – each separately timed and contained by elements in the design. Our emotional energy flows through us. Although we can’t perfectly time them, we can exercise control through planning, and discipline. I see this as one of man’s challenges.

On the other hand, the flexible person learns and employs the principle: “Don’t panic.” This comes with constant mental discipline, even in the smallest situations. I found it took a decision against panic always, no matter what. I practice to stay cool in the everyday happenings knowing this will build a habit that will keep me flexible when serious situations arise.

If you freeze in the little events, you will most likely lock up when the really difficult ones come.

Let me share a personal example: I have visualized and “lived through” each and every crisis I can imagine so that if any occurs, I will have practiced my response and prepared. I have friends who criticize this method saying I don’t have God’s grace until the situation arises, but I am not “borrowing trouble,” I am just thinking through situations (whether business or family) and formulating an action plan. I am disciplining myself mentally and spiritually.

My word of counsel on disciplining emotions is PRACTICE. Make emotional energy work for you. I find driving freeways and raising children provide adequate opportunities to work on flexibility and jettison rigidity.

This week consider: 1) How flexible am I emotionally? 2) What sets me off and how can I manage my response? 3) When do I handle emotional situations well?

Words of Wisdom: “If you freeze in the little situations, you will most probably lock up when the really difficult ones come.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A fool lets fly with all his temper, but a wise person keeps it back.” (Proverbs 29:11 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 24, 2022

Fred thought and taught much about stress. He addressed business audiences, as well as ministry groups. Although they had different missions, he pointed out the similarities in their need for managing stress.

Building Internal Strength

I was asked to speak to 25 leading Southern Baptist pastors who showed great interest in knowing what laymen were thinking about handling stress. I told them that business people learn to balance the exterior circumstances with the internal condition. When external circumstances build up pressure and become threatening, attention must be turned to strengthening our internal condition or we will become like the doctor who gets so involved during an epidemic curing the sick he neglects his own health and dies from the very same disease.

A submarine must have the interior pressurized as it submerges or the outside water pressure will crush it. As long as the exterior and interior pressures are balanced there will be zero stress. Another example is the potter who learns the great skill of matching the pressure of the inside hand against the outside hand. Too much pressure from the inside and the clay bulges; too much from the outside and it caves in.

Too often the exterior gets so consuming we pray for the external pressure to be decreased rather than asking for the interior to be strengthened. An old saint prayed not that the burden would be lighter, but that he might become stronger.
One of my favorite examples is Tommy Armour, the “Silver Scot” of golf game. When other pros were talking about weakening the right hand to keep from hooking he said, “NO, strengthen the left hand and then whup the heck out of it with the right.” He was the initiator of the long ball.

Balancing the exterior and interior came home to me recently. I was scheduled to teach the Elliott class and chose this very subject because I was thinking a lot about it. On Saturday morning I went out to the garage to get in the car and head out for a busy day. I could see there was a white substance and oil on the garage window. When I opened the door I realized we had been vandalized. Someone threw a gallon of white paint and two gallons of used crankcase oil on the door. Such an experience does have a way of altering your agenda! Fairly quickly I thought, “Tomorrow I am going to talk about strengthening our internal condition to offset our external stresses. Now I have a great illustration.”

This week think carefully about: 1) How well do I keep the interior and exterior in balance? 2) What stressors are most troublesome right now? 3) Where do I find the greatest balance?

Words of Wisdom: “When external circumstances build up pressure and becomes threatening then we have to turn our attention to strengthening our internal condition.”

Wisdom from the Word: “My hand will support him, and my arm will strengthen him.” (Psalm 89:21 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 3, 2022

Fred recognized the need for a clear understanding of compassion. His reputation for clear thinking also acknowledged his proper use of healthy emotions. Ordinarily we excerpt writings on leadership, personal development, and business. These words on compassion will spur thought and conversation.

What is Compassion?

Compassion must be earned or else it becomes a substitute for grace, which it is not. To be compassionate toward immorality is to justify the immoral in all of us. Psychiatrists and psychologists who their goal of achieving a sense of being normal moves us away from the true goal of understanding redemption. It is critical for us to comprehend justification through sacrifice and grace. When we are told we are bigoted if we do not have compassion who do not deserve it results in intellectual dishonesty.

Unbridled compassion lets us accept the villain as long as he is personable, and so long as we are not his victim. The mobster Mickey Cohen was once asked by a youngster for his autograph. He inscribed it: “To Billy from a lonely old man.” He didn’t mention the fact that he deserved to be lonely and hardly deserved to be old.

We must not refuse to see there is a difference between a compassionate and a discerning heart.

Compassion is the realization of the havoc sin can bring, but not the excusing of the sinner. When we use our own sin to excuse every other sinner, then we are not bringing redemption at all. This is why it is so vital to accept forgiveness because it teaches us to grasp grace rather than sympathy.

In a very subtle way, sympathy becomes a revolt against authority, particularly scriptural authority. Oswald Chambers powerfully warns us about sympathizing with someone with whom God is dealing. He tells us to not get between God and that person. When we try to solve the problem, ease the pain, or make life better it makes God look unkind. We take sides against God.

The true function of compassion is to motivate us to lead the person to the source of healing – to God. I have been regarded as hard-hearted when I refused to bail someone out of a financial pit created by unwise decisions. What if I had short-circuited the lessons he was to learn? Generosity and compassion should be guided and instructed by wisdom and discernment.

This week think about: 1) How clear am I about the proper use of compassion? 2) When is it easier to be compassionate rather than dealing with the root causes and asking hard questions? 3) What do I need to do to deepen my understanding of Godly compassion?

Words of Wisdom: “Generosity and compassion should be guided and instructed by wisdom and discernment.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Indeed, if you call out for discernment – shout loudly for understanding.” (Proverbs 2:3 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought -April 26, 2022

Fred managed the aging process masterfully. He followed his own principle of growing older, but never old. He prepared well for the last years through planning and mental discipline. Even in his years of restriction he said, “I am not disabled; I am delightfully dependent.”

Growing Older

Joy is like the wine which Christ made from the contents of the water jugs – the best was saved for last.

Normally, people think the exuberance of youth creates the best years of life. They believe the poorer wine is reserved for old age, so they substitute the memories of youth for current experiences. Too many people are eating the crumbs of former feasts. They take the scraps from a years old big dinner, reheat them, and accept that as satisfactory.

The Christian life should reverse that philosophy. God works on an ascension scale – he moves us as He transforms us; He changes and enhances our spirit even as our body deteriorates. If we follow Christ we are moving from earth to heaven; from temporal to eternal. In our Christian life “the best is yet to be.”

Our prayer of thanksgiving as we age should be, “Thank you that thou has kept to best until now.” Finishing well is summed up by hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joys of thy Lord.”

The Christian life has responsibilities and duties. Being profitable to the Master is our job description. At the end of this work is the participation in His joy. This should be the normal pattern for Christian living, not the exception. God wants us to be productive – it is part of the relationship we have with Him. We can use it as a measure of our life experiences.

At my age my friends are tempted to reheat and rehash stories of youthful successes. It is challenging to cancel our membership in the “usta club.” It is tiring to sit with formerly active, eager people and hear them endlessly retell tales of what they “usta do.” God’s plan is forward gear, accomplishing to the last day. He saves the best wine for the last – we must drink it with joy.

This week carefully consider: 1) How much joy am I displaying? 2) What are my future plans? 3) When do I feel God’s pleasure as I strive for “well done?”

Words of Wisdom: “They take the scrap from a years old big dinner, reheat them, and accept that as satisfactory.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He died at a good old age, having enjoyed long life, wealth, and honor. “ (1 Chronicles 29:28a NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 5, 2022

Fred clearly differentiated between strengths and weaknesses. Contrary to some, he disagreed with the effort to overcome weaknesses. “Develop your strengths and buttress your weaknesses” was his philosophy. He observed insecurities as facts of life, not weaknesses. His thinking is most helpful.

Insecurity and Growth

All of us have our areas of insecurity… not just a passing anxiety, but the continuing lack of adequacy. Even when we sleep it haunts us in our dreams.

Actually, as we become more secure, we are better able to recognize and accept our remaining insecurities. For example, even the most emotionally secure might still have stage fright so badly they refuse to face an audience or some new experience. I have found some extremely extroverted before a camera or from the platform can become insecure off the stage. I have known “bigger than life” personalities who were afraid to be alone.

While we can borrow a small amount of security from others, we cannot depend on others for complete security. One of the most difficult and contentious marriages I know is between a tragically insecure woman and an outrageously secure man. She thought his security would become hers by osmosis, but of course, this did not happen. Rather than admire and benefit from his security she began to harbor resentment and stayed irritated. His equilibrium was a constant reminder and reflection of her imbalance.

Permanent security must be grown from within. This is part of the pain of growth. It takes a great deal of determination and discipline. Fortunately, it is not a disease of the will, so the will can become an ally and stepping stone on the path to security. I would also add that nearly as important is will power is a sense of humor. In my life I was raised in the mill district of a large Southern town, son of a Baptist preacher. I had no exposure to social graces or cultural experiences, so as I was offered opportunities beyond my background I ran head long into “social gaps.” We were grateful to have one fork beside our plate so you can imagine my chagrin staring at an elegant table with china, crystal, linen, and MANY forks! An inner sense of humor is extremely useful in relieving the pressures of embarrassment. The confidence comes, but it helps to laugh at the gaffes along the way!

Insecurities are a part of the human condition. We mature, fill in holes and grow, but it is a process that takes time, hard work – and often a good laugh.

This week carefully consider: 1) What do I consider insecurities? 2) When I look back, how much growth do I see? 3) How well am I able to laugh at (and with) myself?

Words of Wisdom: “The confidence comes, but it helps to laugh at the gaffes along the way!”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will lie down and sleep peacefully, for you, Lord, make me safe and secure.” (Psalm 4:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 29, 2022

Fred considered himself a realist. He read an account of POWs by a survivor. The author remarked that the optimists were the first to succumb, the pessimists came next, and the majority of those who made it were realists. Fred emphasized the necessity of “keeping current” and aware of what is, not what one wished it to be.

Keep An Eye on the Rainbow

A young preacher pastoring his first church in a Northern mill town told of his conversation of the mill owner. “Young man, you have not seen me in church and you will not until my funeral. I own this town as well as the mill. This is my pot of gold. When I came here as an immigrant I heard that in America there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I found the gold, young man, but I lost the rainbow.” He didn’t have to lose it, but he did. Life is never a mandatory choice between the rainbow and the gold.

After speaking to a conference of Canadian corporate presidents, a group of us sat around discussing personal success and how to define it. One president’s contribution stays with me: “I would like to live rich as well as die rich.” He learned how to keep the rainbow and the pot of gold.

The rainbow, from its inception, has been the symbol of hope – the promise of ultimate victory and the relatedness with the eternal and divine. I hope you will live and die rich, but if you have to choose – live rich with hope, joy, and promise.

Recently, a restless friend said, “I feel a lack of joy in my life. I wonder if it is worth it.” He appeared passive and almost numb to life. He seemed to be acted upon by circumstances, pressured by events, and absorbing the pessimism of the joyless. He failed to possess the courage to take charge of his life and attitudes.

I often speak of “joy for the journey.” I am not talking about surface happiness which comes like the wind without knowing where or why. Joy is more than fortuitous circumstances. Joy is effectively activated when life is a struggle. Joy is the deep adequacy, the determined will to survive… that faith to believe “all things work together for good.”

Oftentimes I read of “secrets” of joy but actually there are none which people hunted and found like Easter eggs. No effervescent books, or esoteric cults can provide true, lasting joy. Joy is a result. It is a reward for life’s being well spent in hopefulness. It truly brings the pot of gold by following the rainbow. Joy is not measured in dollars and cents, but in a life well lived.

This week think about: 1) How would I describe my balance between pot of gold and rainbow? 2) What gives me joy? 3) Who am I influencing in making choices for a rich life?

Words of Wisdom: “Joy is the deep adequacy, the determined will to survive…that faith to believe all things work together for good.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And since I am sure of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for the sake of your progress and joy in the faith.” (Philippians 1:25 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 15, 2022

Fred consistently sought to realistically deal with problems. To help others he established one of his most important pieces of counsel: “It is critical to know the difference between a problem and a fact of life. A problem can be solved; a fact of life is a given. To spend time trying to change a fact of life is foolish.”

Handling Problems Realistically

A former pro athlete, now incarcerated on drug charges, said “the drug problem is really about lifestyle. We are caught between our idea of the good life and how to handle real problems. Some of us choose to handle them by escaping into substance abuse.” I agree with him, but I think it may be even more.

It is how we define a problem that affects the outcome. A problem may be a hurt, a wound, or an emotional vacuum. The good life tells us we are winners; we always feel good; we always live on the high side of life. Movies, TV commercials, and celebrities support this philosophy. If we are down then we are in the “before” side of life. Sitcoms and advertisements solve problems in lightening speed making the “after” look like reality. In actuality, it may just be another layer of the problem itself.

Nothing in life brings instant results. Consciousness altering substances have great appeal because they tend to sell the user on the idea that they can check out and experience something else almost immediately. But sober, sane life doesn’t work that way. Nothing can transform us that quickly.

This is one of the reasons too many look for spiritual highs and spiritual quick fixes because we don’t want to do the hard work of solving the problems and undergoing transformation. We want to go from “before” to “after” in blinding speed, enjoying it all the way. It just doesn’t happen that way.

So, what too many define as the winning life cannot be genuine because it depends on the artificial, the synthetic, and the addictive to live at that level. Looking for the sudden high leads to lifestyles of degradation.

The periphery of our hurts may be temporarily satisfied by these solutions, but none of them touch the core of the problems. In actuality, the core and the essential hurt continues to grow, giving room for nothing but hopelessness. A pitiful alternative is giving in to the darkness and claiming worthlessness. The one who opts for this solution gives in and jettisons all self-respect.

What is the answer? The rejuvenation of the Holy Spirit. Nothing satisfies like the washing and changing through the Spirit. Through this comes true transformation. And this must come through an actual spiritual experience, not just head knowledge. But it doesn’t come without risk. We can’t do it on a trial basis. It is life’s total risk. But life through rejuvenation and regeneration is truly the only good life. All else may sizzle for awhile but will ultimately fizzle.

This week consider: 1) How do I define the good life? 2) What distinctions am I making between problems and facts of life? 3) Who is a good role model for genuine satisfaction?

Words of Wisdom: “Nothing in life brings instant results.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 8, 2022

Fred wrote about the value of heroes as a critical element in You and Your Network. He differentiates them from role models, or sponsors. He once saw a study showing that our heroes at age 10 have a dramatic influence on our lives. In early conversations he was always interested in those people kept in the hero category.

Heroes, Not Celebrities

The list of those to whom we could profitably look as heroes is lengthy. They personify the traits of character and values we would like to make part of our own lives. For example, Booker T. Washington who accomplished great things in the face of obstacles others could not overcome. His nobility ultimately became the practical.

We are unrealistic to think our heroes should be perfect. The Bible recognizes their imperfections. I have always been convinced the inclusion of them is a proof of scripture’s inspiration. Capturing the complete person is a great help. In Hebrews we see those inducted into the “Hall of Faith.” The list includes murderers, schemers, adulterers, and even prostitutes.

There is no need to defend our heroes against anything except perfection. When we ask for perfection we become vulnerable to those who expose their weaknesses thereby trying to destroy their value to us. Heroes personify the value and the human capability of reaching nobility, but never perfection.

Expecting complete purity is unrealistic and unhealthy. To require our heroes to be flawless is to build on a false philosophical – and theological – base.

The media have done all us a great disservice when they attempt to exchange the lasting inspiration of the hero for the momentary excitement of the celebrity. Our son, Fred, first caused me to think about the difference between heroes and celebrities when he said, “The heroes of the early church were martyrs and ours are celebrities.” Herein may lie a great deal of the weakness of our modern church. Don’t misunderstand – I am not lobbying for those who go around talking like self-professed martyrs. That is not what fueled the early church. We know persecution has always been the great purifier. But persecution in the name of Christ, not because we create havoc. Emerson said, “Those who follow after celebrity sip the foam of many lives.” Today’s celebrities rise on a wave of applause and break on the rocks of inattention. They are surely a fantasy waiting to be exposed.

Heroes give us the desire and a roadmap toward virtue; celebrities give us a picture of vapid ego drive.

This week think carefully; 1) Who was my hero at age 10? 2) What heroic qualities am I pursuing? 3) How can I encourage others to incorporate heroes in their personal development?

Words of Wisdom: “We are unrealistic to think our heroes should be perfect.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Open the gates so a righteous nation can enter— one that remains trustworthy.” (Isaiah 26:2 NET Bible)