Weekly Thought – March 11, 2025

Fred answered a first-time question “Can we get together?” with “Meet me at Cindi’s Deli at 6:30.” It was his first step in evaluating the seriousness of the person. “Could we make it 8:00?” usually equated to a relational false start.

Breakfast with Fred became a buzz word for wisdom gathering among his broad network of learners and leaders. This week’s theme is from his 2007 book Breakfast With Fred. Though focused on executives these principles apply to every area of daily living.

Effective Self-Management

The hardest person on any executive’s team to supervise is himself/herself. The recognition is soon recognized that “my problem is me.”
If many people took the energy and intelligence they spend devising ways to avoid work and applied it toward building a work plan, they would be highly successful. One of the most important executive disciplines is cutting off escapes from effective work. Sadly, there are executives who are strategic about accomplishment avoidance. For example, a great many people study their jobs rather than work at them. Most people already know considerably more than they are actually using in the workplace. Education is not the problem – disciplined motivation is.

Another escape for most people is activity. They have not learned “results are the only excuse for activity.” Many people feel as day’s end that they are satisfied with their efforts when in fact they have just been busy. They are the chief of their local fire department putting out flames but never constructing buildings. They are on the run but never getting anywhere productive. Too many eat, belch, and run – like fire trucks with dirty engines. Little boys make lots of noise playing firemen but grown men and women need to put away their helmets.

In order to accomplish anything you must have a definite goal. Unless you can write it down it isn’t definite or specific. My mentor, Maxey Jarman, taught me that aimless verbal wandering has no power. Only when I put the goal on paper does it take shape. Until it is formed, it may be an idea of a direction, but it isn’t a goal. A ship with a lot of steam doesn’t get to port unless it stays on course.
Once the goal as been set, it must be pursued with a burning desire. The desire must be maintained and sustained with discipline.
(Editor’s note: Later in Fred’s life he changed his focus from strict goal setting to a clear understanding of direction. In fact, one of the questions he would ask emphasized the import of this element in successful living… “Are you satisfied with the direction you are going?” He often spoke of “revectoring” which was the way he described keeping keyed to “true north” and staying on direction. The popular trends of 3 or 5 year plans had less interest for him. He wanted to define his life mission and then measure “staying on course” with regular checks.)

This week think carefully about: 1) How disciplined am I about putting my goals and direction in writing? 2) What will it take to “get out of my own way?” 3) Who models productive activity rather than just busyness?

Words of Wisdom: “A ship with a lot of steam doesn’t get to port unless it stays on course.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May he grant your heart’s desire; may he bring all your plans to pass.” (Psalm 20:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – January 21, 2025

Fred used questions in consulting, mentoring, and personal development. He also used them as channel markers in his private search for integrity. This week we feature ten which he frequently asks.

Asking Questions

1. Do my motives have integrity? Integrity starts with motive. Rationalization does more to pollute integrity of motive than any other factor. Ends never justify illegal, unjust, or unethical means.
2. Am I ego-driven or responsibility motivated? Ego-driven people satisfy their ego from the cause while responsibility-motivated people sacrifice their ego to the cause.
3. Do I want the truth? It requires a tough mind and a strong heart to love truth. Integrity demands tying to know and love truth for its own sake.
4. Does my will control my feelings? Leadership demands a strong will – not a selfish or stubborn will- but a determined will to do what needs doing. By will we overcome our yen for pleasure and our satisfaction with mediocrity.
5. What is my source of joy? Hope expresses itself n joy. My personal definition of joy is “adequacy.” The struggle is finding a true security and complete adequacy in authentic, not synthetic sources.
6. Is my passion focused? Passion brings purpose unity, intensity, and concentration, assuring accomplishment. Passion gives depth, keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity. Our lives become a welder’s torch rather than a grass fire.
7. How grateful am I? Gratitude expresses our vulnerability, and our dependence on others. It is an emotion with a short shelf life because we don’t like to be indebted.
8. Am I the pump or the pipe? The Holy Spirit if the pump and I am the pipe. The pipe never gets tired. When I try to substitute my power for God’s I become powerless, dissatisfied even frantic, and defeated.
9. Is grace real for me? When refuse grace, I am playing God and trying to punish myself. Grace brings freedom.
10. How is my relationship to God? When I wake up in the middle of the night, face myself, and assess my true connection, what is the bottom line? Am I growing in my desire to know Him? Am I thirsty for time with Him? Trusting Him is a measure of relationship.

This week carefully consider: 1) What questions do I ask myself to establish my integrity quotient? 2) Which of Fred’s questions hits home right now? 3) Who would benefit from their own audit?

Words of Wisdom: “He used questions as channel markers in his own private search for integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May integrity and godliness protect me, for I rely on you.” (Psalm 25:21 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – January 7, 2025

Fred annually did a “whole person” analysis and audit. He considered the various facets of his life, measured the goals from the year just completed and anticipated his direction for the new one. He looked at his relationship to himself, to others, and to God.

Measuring the Role of Relationship

Relationships are obviously both the personal and professional concern of the leader.

First, your relationship to yourself. Jean Paul Sartre, the French philosopher, was once quoted as saying, “If you are lonely when you are alone, you’re in poor company.”

I visited a magnificent home built n a remote part of the Colorado Rockies. It was so quiet you could hear the paint drying on the wall. I thought to myself: “Only a person at peace with himself could own a home like this.” In that kind of magnificent quiet, you have time to be alone with yourself. And you would have to be able to enjoy the company. You’d have to be satisfied with the way you are growing. You could not have your external success eating up your internal being.

That’s one of the tests of maturity: the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.

Second, relationship to others. Am I increasingly able to spend time profitably with people who are different? Immature individuals can’t enjoy people who don’t think differently. They prefer people just like themselves. Maturity is being comfortable with diversity.

Third, we must evaluate the development of our relationship with God. Is my walk with God more comfortable? More intimate? More real?
I had a friend who lost contact with God. The problem was this: instead of confessing, he was explaining. God is not very interested in our explanations. He knows why we do what we do. He doesn’t need our rationalizing. But, I have found, God is a marvelous listener to our confessions.

I have discovered I can explain things to God for years, but only when I get around to saying, “Mea culpa – I am guilty,” does my relationship with Him begin to grow again.

(By the way, I look at my relationship to my family, goals I have for family development as well as growing in our knowledge of each other. In my audit I look at my mental, financial, and physical “state of the union.” On January 1 I write all my goals down and the next New Year’s Day I honestly appraise the progress (or lack thereof) with an honest, transparent eye before setting goals for the next year).

This week carefully consider: 1) How would an annual personal audit benefit me? 2) Which of the three areas of relationship is the biggest challenge for me? 3) Where do I want to show the most progress this year?

Words of Wisdom: “The ability to be alone and at peace with yourself is a test of maturity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason we also, from the day we heard about you, have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” (Colossians 1:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 3, 2024

Fred recognized the relationship between strong leadership and character. His observation that when leaders fail it is most often the result of character flaws, not lack of competence. When discussing character, Fred always turned to the importance of discipline.

The Discipline of Freedom

In my experience many men and women feel trapped in their work. During a weekend with young, growing pastors I repeatedly heard, “I’m called by God to do this, but I don’t like certain aspects of the job, and I don’t feel free to change them. I feel like a slave to the church.”

Slavery comes with very few options. Viktor Frankl established a school of psychotherapy based on his belief: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” During this retreat I talked about emotional options which illustrate Frankl’s thought. Those who feel trapped can be dedicated, enthusiastic, willing to use their best talents, or they can drag their feet, be insolent and difficult.

When feeling trapped, the key is to recognize you’re serving the wrong master. “Pastor, you are called to be the “bond-servant of Jesus Christ,” as Paul says. Too many confuse fealty to the church for allegiance to Christ. The freedom to serve Christ alone, however, requires discipline. It comes with a price – all freedom does.

A lot of people try to lease freedom instead of buying it. Leasing is trying to find small ways you can please others without totally giving yourself away. Wanting to serve Christ alone suffers with this lease agreement. The price appears to be less, but the benefit is certainly diminished.

Freedom is not irresponsibility; it is an environment in which you discharge your responsibilities. The combination of political and religious freedom combined with the Puritan work ethic is the foundation of America’s productivity. They believed we each have a talent for which we are responsible. They taught that one day we would stand before God and be judged for the use of that talent.

The more total we can make our commitment to Christ, the freer we are. We discipline our desires. Our natural inclination for freedom without responsibility is tempered. We understand and operate within the environment of freedom applying the restraints which lead to maturity and growth.

This week carefully think about: 1) How do I define freedom? 2) What price have I paid for freedom? Financial, vocational, relational, spiritual? 3) What am I willing to change if I feel trapped?

Words of Wisdom: “Freedom to serve Christ alone comes with a price – all freedom does.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is present, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 8, 2024

Fred was known for his sense of humor. He looked at situations with an “out of the box” posture long before that was in vogue. His keen sense of discernment allowed him to cut right to the heart of situations. And although quick witted he worked hard to avoid unhealthy cynicism.

Overcoming Cynicism

Cynicism has no integrity. It often takes a viewpoint which evaluates the present, but has no hope for the future… Even when the evaluation is correct. As Christians we are not without hope; we believe in the great hope of future things. Therefore, our responsibility is to make a difference wherever we are, not drop out, hide, or run away.

Recently, a bright, young executive asked me to lunch. He opened the conversation by saying, “I serve on several Christian boards and have been invited to join two national ministry boards. But as a businessman I have become cynical at what I see. You have been doing this all your adult life, how do you avoid cynicism?”

I freely admit I have a certain amount of cynicism – the healthy amount, I hope. I doubt you can be involved in Christian organizations as long as I have without it. Nevertheless, I assured him there is an antidote which comes in two parts:

1) Maintain your sense of humor. I find any human activity, whether faith-based or not, contains the frailties of humankind. To me, healthy humor eases the tension between where we are and where we ought to be. Too often in the most serious business of the Kingdom we act like court jesters. We play games, indulge in politics, defend our errors, and deny our temptations. Actually, all of these deficiencies can be a robust source for humor. Sin garbed in ecclesiastical garments is ridiculous.

2) Look for the reality amid the counterfeit. Truth creates fertile ground for deception. Where there is great reality there is opportunity for corresponding unreality. The Father of lies operates with strategies and schemes – this we know. We also know there is greater light available to us in Christ which allows us to separate the knock-off tenets of faith which lead us down the wrong path. We must keep a sharp eye open to recognize the genuine and authentic, putting aside the fake knowing reality will win out.

I do not know how this young man fared in his journey of Christian leadership. Scripture warns the church to avoid offering leadership positions to those young in the faith for they are not seasoned and subject to discouragement (and thereby cynicism). Seeing the potholes and the pitfalls with maturity prepares those who accept leadership positions.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I evaluate my own leadership qualities? 2) What tempts me to become cynical? 3) Where can I model reality and avoid the temptation of cynicism this week?

Words of Wisdom: “As Christians we are not without hope; we believe in the great hope of future things.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in him, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 24, 2024

Fred considered a disciplined life key to maturity and health. In his book Leading With Integrity, written for Christian pastors and ministry leaders he noted eight disciplines. The Discipline of Relationships outlines three elements. The ideas are transferable and translatable to all in leadership.

The Discipline of Relationships

Relationships are obviously both the personal and professional concern of the leader.

1) Your relationship to yourself. Jean Paul Sartre was once quoted as saying, “If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in poor company.” I visited a magnificent home built in a remote part of the Colorado Rockies. It was so quiet you could hear the paint drying on the walls. I thought to myself, “Only a person at peace with himself could own a home like this.” In this kind of magnificent quiet you have time to be alone with yourself. And you would have to enjoy the company. You would have to be satisfied with the way you are growing. You could not have your external struggles (or even successes) filling up your internal being. To me, one of the tests of maturity is the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.

2) Your relationship with other people. Am I increasingly able to spend time profitably with people who think differently? Immature individuals are uncomfortable with thinking, life experiences, and even faith positions. I am not advocating for the adoption of beliefs or lifestyles that are contrary to Biblical standards, but I am not afraid to engage in conversation with those who think differently. Too often, growth is stunted by requiring time be spent only with those who think exactly the same.

3) Your relationship with God. Is my relationship with God more natural, more intimate, more real? I have a friend who lost contact with God. The problem was explanation. He came to God with rationalization, not confession. He spent years trying to explain to God why he was doing what he was doing only to continue drawing away. Only when he stopped, declared “Mea culpa – I am guilty” did he find peace and reconciliation. A healthy relationship with God grows out of confession.

Relationship disciplines are inward (with ourselves); outward (with others); and upward (with God). Each demands consistent nurturing for healthy growth.

This week think about: 1) When I consider these three where do I need the most work? 2) How can I develop a plan for healthy living? 3) Who could benefit this week from these three relationships thoughts?

Words of Wisdom: “To me, one of the tests of maturity is the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who loves discipline loves knowledge.” ( Proverbs 12:1 (a) NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 17, 2024

Fred masterfully grasped his priorities. He never bought into the busyness philosophy of executive life. Consequently, he accomplished his mission without adopting a frantic lifestyle. In writing about time he considered temptations that derailed effective living.

Time Killers

Sometimes we can outwit ourselves in the war for time. I’ve noticed three temptations that pull us aside.

1) Procrastination. If I ever get around to it, I am going to run for President of the National Procrastination Society. The problem is I just haven’t gotten around to it. An executive startled me once by saying he wasn’t taking his briefcase I asked why. “Well, I analyzed my work, and all day long I was sorting papers to take home at night. I found out I might as well just go ahead, make decision, and stop sorting papers.” A lot of procrastination is based on our fear of action. In Texas we have an apt expression for this: “fixin’ to.” Avoiding a wrong decision, or failure makes some assume the over preparer role. Exhaustion without results is a waste of time and energy.

2) Rationalization. Trying to prove to yourself you weren’t wrong kills time. I would be so much better to say, “I messed up.” As a speaker it is tempting to blame a bad speech on the crowd. But it wasn’t the fault of the audience; I just wasn’t on. How much easier and time saving that would be. Accepting full responsibility allows learning to occur. Shifting blame is a foolish exercise. Mary Alice and I often reminded the children “when you point your finger at someone else to take the blame you have four fingers pointing back at yourself.” Own the mistakes.

3) Indecision. I once knew an executive who had a sign on his desk: THE DEFINITE ANSWER IS MAYBE. He worked unbelievable hours. Instead of making decision he wandered around the office talking to people about the decision delaying and often falling into the pit of maybe. My mentor, Maxey Jarman once said to me, “Fred, many people can make good decisions, but they won’t.” I see this in those who don’t want to put their egos on the line.

Besides these three temptations let me mention two self-destructive tendencies:

1) Too many sick days. Whether through bad habits, avoiding responsibility, or a mistaken definition of self-care, sick days are costly for those wanting to be productive.

2) Financial problems. Failing to delay gratification and getting into debt are definite hindrances to full concentration.
Time management is a critical element of a healthy, productive life. Discipline and self-control are key factors.

This week seriously consider: 1) Which of the three temptations troubles me? 2) When do I fall into the self-destructive habits? 3) Who models healthy productivity for me?

Words of Wisdom: “In Texas we have an apt expression for procrastination: “fixin’to.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So he said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you will not fall into temptation!”(Luke 22:46 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 23, 2024

Fred’s memo to Maxey Jarman, chairman of GENESCO, on character demonstrates his thinking and sheds light on his friendship with “M.J.” as he denoted his mentor. His analysis is a window into his principle-based life. In his first book, You and Your Network, he develops the importance of heroes.

Heroes

I am interested in a man’s heroes. It tells me much of what he wants to become. Your example of duty fulfillment is now a part of my life. I now have a miniature version in my life – not as perfect an expression as yours, but a genuine one. As Tozer said, “My flame may be small, but it is real.” I noted when I read Tozer’s words, “a small flame can start a real fire better than a large neon sign.”

Somehow I caught your love of work. You were the first to get me to experience the excitement of accomplishment. Others tried; you succeeded. Why they failed, I don’t know. Somehow I could accept and be challenged by your example. It certainly was not your verbal spoken teaching on your precepts because you rarely said anything about them.

Each of us must pick our own heroes. We need the example of others for our character building. Years ago I picked seven character traits I needed and selected a person to personify each one. I asked each person to send me a framable photograph. I placed these pictures on my office wall and looked to their traits. They were my personified examples – their word had become flesh and I dwelt among them. You, of course, were one of them. Thanks! I put Sallman’s Christ at the top and a mirror at the bottom.

To properly exercise one’s sense of responsibility is to build his own character. Therefore, my responsibility to set an example for those looking to me became a growing incentive toward personal character building. I know those I am responsible, but I don’t know who else is watching. We never do, do we? Really frightening.

This week carefully consider: 1) Who taught me something that stuck when others failed? 2) What was it? 3) Who is watching me right now?

Words of Wisdom: “A small flame can start a real fire better than a large neon sign.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And entrust what you heard me say in the presence of many others as witnesses to faithful people who will be competent to teach others as well.” (2 Timothy 2:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 16, 2024

Fred regularly challenged himself and others to “keep current.” His reminder to leave the “used to’s” behind struck home as colleagues and friends aged. Living on past experiences solely limits relevance. Choosing what one would wish it to be rather than what it is was considered by Fred to be a waste of time. This excerpt from a Highland Park Presbyterian Elliott class lesson in the 1980s proves principal-based thinking is timeless and timely.

Fact or Fantasy

No matter how beautifully or reasonably a situation is defined it is no more than fantasy if not based on truth. I am particularly impressed at this time with all the politicians vying for the presidency. They are telling us of the panaceas they can provide if elected. They list all the major problems and tell us they will solve them once they are in charge of the government. They have made one big miscalculation. They have the wrong concept of human nature.

Humanity is flawed and cannot be perfected by governmental programs. Welfare, no matter how well intentioned, that does not require individuals to be responsible will create perpetual dependence.

Once I fortuitously had breakfast with the well-known commentator David Suskine the morning after he debated Bill Buckley (who cut him to ribbons). Suskine, however, maintained a gracious spirit. I opened up the breakfast by saying I admired his attitude my politics were conservative. I asked him, totally aware and respectful of his intellectual capabilities: “How does a man as learned as you take your political and philosophical position?”

“In order to be a liberal you must first believe in the basic goodness of man,” was his reply.

I told him with that statement he gave me a complete understanding of his position. I went on to say I believed in the doctrine of man’s original sin. He said, “That is a horrible thought.” I asked him if it was a thought or a fact. Sometimes in order to control a subject we will rename – and misname – it.

I further told him that if I believed in the basic goodness of man than I would freely support education, and financial aid as the solution to social ills. But if humanity is basically sinful and we provide privileges without responsibilities we could create monsters. I feel many of our programs fail because we do not understand the sin nature of humanity.

The imperfectability of humanity is a fact. Programs built on the basic goodness of humanity is built on fantasy. Faulty conclusions are the natural result.

This week think about: 1) How clear am I in my fact v. fantasy thinking? 2) Where does wishing alter the actual situation? 3) How much time have I spent thinking about the nature of man?

Words of Wisdom: “Humanity is flawed and cannot be perfected by governmental programs.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Look, I was guilty of sin from birth, a sinner the moment my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:5 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought -July 2, 2024

Fred thoroughly enjoyed his work as a management consultant. Companies called him to help build strategies around employee relations, sales/marketing direction, and clarity in sticky situations. He famously talked about the “key log.” He explained that as logs traveled down rivers they would frequently get stuck. Rather than expend energy trying to straighten the mess the loggers knew to find the “key log,” extricate it, and the flow would continue. He knew how to create conversations to identify key logs and start the flow again. Fred never quit!

Don’t Ever Give Up

I am convinced there are 5 don’ts for successful living: 1) Don’t ever give up; 2) Don’t look back; 3) Don’t delay accepting failure; 4) Don’t settle for “it might have been;” and 5) Don’t panic. This morning let’s look at number one: Don’t Ever Give Up.

One time I was working with J. Mack Swigert, esteemed attorney with the Taft Law Firm in Cincinnati, on an extremely difficult labor negotiation. It was not only difficult; it seemed impossible for us to win. Feeling the need for a mattress to fall on in the event of loss, I started listing the various reasons we might not win. He stopped me cold with this comment: “Fred it’s better to win. You don’t have to explain a win, and you can’t explain a loss.” Then he added with a smile, “Clients pay better fees for winning.”

A person should never spend time thinking about reasons for giving up, for slowing down, or stopping. This is preciously why the follow through in golf is so important. Every golf pro strives for the high finish. Actually, it doesn’t have anything to do with hitting the ball; it comes after the ball is struck. But follow through shows that the golfer didn’t start stopping before hitting the ball. Most duffers start the process of stopping the club before striking. The high follow through is evidence of not quitting. In similar fashion, a person who develops the habit of winning won’t quit at a crucial time, either consciously or unconsciously.

I once held a seminar for young men with serious financial losses from an economic downturn. It was their first time to lose, and they were shaky, and confused. We called the seminar: For Losers, not Quitters. Losing is a temporary condition; quitting is an attitude.

Mike Todd, the Hollywood mogul once said, “I have been broke many times, but never poor.” Broke was temporary; poor was an attitude. Broke is in the pocket; poor is in the mind.

This week carefully consider: 1) When have I confused losing and quitting? 2) How needs me to explain the difference? 3) Where can I kick some key logs to get better flow?

Words of Wisdom: “A person should never spend time thinking about reasons for giving up, for slowing down, or stopping.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 ESV)