Weekly Thought – March 23, 2021

Fred experienced four major hospitalizations during his last five years of his life. “We don’t know what to say to him,” one of his friends commented. “Bring him a problem,” was son Fred’s wise answer. The family passed the word around to his many friends. This was the key to his rebounding until the final stay in 2007. This inciteful observation gave him the energy and focus to return home time after time.

Handling Problems Realistically

A former pro athlete interviewed upon incarceration said his drug problem was really about lifestyle. He commented he was caught between the idea of the good life and real problems. He chose to deal with reality by escaping through substance abuse…at least until he crossed too many lines and was jailed.

I agree with him, but I also think there may be more.

1) It is how we define a problem. A problem may be a hurt or a life vacuum. The philosophy of the good life says we are winners who will have continuous highs. This image becomes the over energetic imagery of television commercials. If we don’t feel this way then we must be living in the “before” part of the commercial before the product’s solution. Nothing in life can bring instant results, short of consciousness-altering substances. The truth of real life doesn’t have an immediate “before to after” resulting in forever happiness. Too many Christians look for spiritual highs and spiritual quick fixes because we don’t want to go through the transformational process. In all areas of our lives we want to move from before to after in blinding speed, enjoying it all the way. It just doesn’t happen that way. The good life philosophy fails because we would have to lean on the artificial, synthetic, or addictive to consistently operate on that level. The sudden high is a fallacy and a trap.

2) The core hurt always has a peripheral aspect that can be satisfied by these temporary solutions, but can never be truly remedied by the short term. In fact, the effort to soothe the hurt allows the core problem to continue growing until it takes over all temporary fixes and hopelessness occurs. Suicide then becomes a possible solution. Another is just simply giving into the darkness, deciding we are worthless, and choosing a life of degradation and dishonor.

3) The answer is the rejuvenation of the Holy Spirit. Nothing compares to the washing, cleansing, and changing work of the Spirit. The power is seen in the living out of the transformed life. Just knowing about the Spirit’s work isn’t the full answer; application must happen. Einstein’s theories seem reasonable and practical to physicists, but until astronauts climbed into the rocket and ventured into space were they tested. There is always great risk in change. Spiritually, it is the same. We can’t trust the Spirit on a trial basis. But the good life which comes through rejuvenation and regeneration is truly the only good life. All else may sizzle for a while but will ultimately fizzle.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I handle problems? 2) What is my concept of spiritual transformation? 3) Who helps me clearly define the good life?

Words of Wisdom: “The truth of real life doesn’t have an immediate “before to after” resulting in forever happiness.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – February 23, 2021

Fred saw himself as someone who did “crooked thinking on the straight and narrow.” He saw truth, and worked to avoid cynicism. He once turned down a book offer because they wanted him to write a “tell all” about Christian leaders. He flatly refused.

Overcoming Cynicism

Cynicism has no integrity. Cynicism often properly evaluates the present, but has no hope for the future. As Christians we are not without hope. Christians believe in the possibilities of the future. Our responsibility is to make a difference, not to drop out.

Recently a bright, young executive asked me to lunch. He opened the conversation by saying, “I serve on several Christian boards and have been invited to join two national ministry boards. But as a businessman I have become cynical at what I see. You have been in it all your life. How have you avoided cynicism?” I freely admitted I have a certain level of skepticism but I hope it is kept to a healthy level. I doubt you can be in and around Christian service as long as I have without it. I have found any human activity whether in religious work, or not, contains the frailties of humankind. To me, healthy humor eases the tension between where we are and where we ought to be. We certainly see the clay feet and too often hear the sanctimonious way of skirting the issues. There are times when the way sin is garbed in ecclesiastical raiment is so ridiculous you just have to laugh about it.

At the risk of being thought irreverent about unexpected humor in a very serious situation. Of course, with my slightly askew way of looking at things, I tend to reframe with humor. This time I did – at my father’s funeral. It was held in a large church, with many local preachers in attendance to honor my father who had served as a pastor for decades. Officiating was the new minister recently named as the senior pastor and the former, older pastor just retired. They were both showmen and the situation was just too overpowering for them to avoid the temptation to outshine the other. Shortly into the service I wrote my brother a note, “Watch these two try to outdo each other.” One, known for his mastery of scripture, reeled off passage after passage. The other was a great orator, and following the younger man, he preached in high style causing the angels to fly off the ramparts of heaven. I wasn’t offended because I knew my father would have delighted in the show. His boisterous Irish laugh would have been heard throughout the church. Both were Godly, sincere men who got caught up in a situation that became a contest.

To become cynical would be to deny the reality of the occasion and the message even though it got momentarily diverted. As Christians we have the responsibility to know the real from the counterfeit – the authentic from the bogus. Maturity allows us to assess without becoming unhealthily cynical. We never want to be remembered as the cynic who was defined as one who would ride through a sewer in a glass bottom boat. We are called to be realistic, keeping our minds centered on the truth of higher things.

This week think about: 1) How careful am I to avoid a cynical attitude? 2) What disciplines can I put in place this week to nurture a realistic perspective? 3) When does humor help me deal with human nature?

Words of Wisdom “Maturity allows us to assess without becoming unhealthily cynical.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – February 16, 2021

Fred used his time well. In his last years his mobility was greatly limited. Rather than complain he used the season as a laboratory to keep his mind sharp. When he woke up in the middle of the night (as often he did) instead of fretting about his incapacity and inability to get out of bed, he played mind games like remembering all the verses of hymns or recalling punch lines to old jokes. One night he listed the punch line for 200 jokes.

Overcoming Boredom

Boredom is the dry rot of the soul. It comes when we feel that what we’re doing isn’t worth the time nor is it interesting, worthwhile, or challenging. Boredom can be the result of living too efficiently and less effectively. When life becomes a series of habits and routines, then our creative juices are not adequately stirred.

Oftentimes we hear children (and grandchildren) say, “I’m bored.” The best answer for that is a question: “What are you going to do about it?” We need to learn very early when we are bored it is our responsibility, not others’ to get us out of it. If we stay bored too long we escape into pseudo-sophistication or we become melancholy, refusing to lift ourselves by our emotional bootstraps. The quagmire isn’t the job of others– it is ours.

1) Break up the repetition of life. Sometimes the simplest changes will help because they force us to use our minds and not just mindless routines. When I was doing platform speaking constantly, I would find a talk became boring to me, but I would rearrange the points just to increase my interest and concentration. Routine we need for efficiency, but life is not just a time management exercise.

2) Add something to your life. Start a new activity, begin a new hobby, see the old things in a new way, start new friendships and new activities, do something specific for others each day – these spark us and generate energy. Here are some others I can recommend: enroll in a course, sign up for a film series, symphony season, summer theater, athletic event, or Bible study, but do something which stretches and enhances. Do something good! Remembering the more bored you are, the less interested you will be when you start, remember you will become more interested as you involve yourself. And the more interested you are, the more interesting you will become.

3) Take something bad out of your life. We all have things that need correcting. The sedentary life is a good place to start making a change. One of the most interesting men I know has decided to stop reading the daily newspaper because so much of it is repetitious and has absolutely no earthly value. Some of us may need to stop an activity which is nothing more than just activity. Surely you can find something to throw out. Mary Alice and I spent one New Year’s Eve in Naples, Italy. We are intrigued with their custom of throwing things out the window they didn’t want to carry into the new year. The street is so littered that cars cannot travel for several hours. It appeared everyone had something to toss out. It is a good way to begin the war on boredom.

Boredom is a sure sign of poor self-management.

This week think about: 1) How often do I feel bored? 2) What are my remedies when I feel stale? 3) Who needs the challenge of taking personal responsibility for emotional maturity?

Words of Wisdom: “The more interested you are, the more interesting you become.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, admonish the undisciplined, comfort the discouraged, help the weak, be patient toward all.” (1 Thessalonians 5:14 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – February 9, 2021

Fred admired immaculate thinking. Muddying the mental waters with broad brushes didn’t hold much appeal for him. He felt that communication required precision. One of the examples is the critical recognition of the distinction between moral and ethical.

Morality versus Legality

Mary Alice and I were once discussing an issue involving a complicated set of laws. One of the children looked up and said, “Why do we have to have so many laws?” This is a question from a child, but not a childish question. The answer is rooted in our heart and drops its leaves mischievously over our entire landscape.

Individually, we are constantly looking for a shorter, simplified code of laws, but our use of law does not promote this. Wherever people choose legality over morality, the body of laws must be large and the interpretations complicated – growing like a cancer maiming natural freedom.

Among individuals of character, the legal simply defines the minimum morality needed for the society to function as a benefit to the individual and the group. As long as no one wants an unfair advantage, but rather desires everyone to have all that he deserves, then laws can be simple.

Men of good will can have honest differences of opinion, and these can be covered in short order. Men of ill will use the law not for rightness but for wrongness… this necessitates voluminous documentation.

W.C. Fields said, “You can’t cheat an honest man.” The honest man is not controlled by greed, so is less vulnerable to the con man’s schemes.

Golf gives me an excellent illustration of the reason for law. Few games have such volumes of laws with such extensive interpretation. I have played golf with theologians who cheated – intellectuals who remained ignorant of the rules on purpose – otherwise honest men who opportunistically made exceptions to the law for their own benefit – and legalistic friends who ask for interpretations hoping for advantage.

We could simplify a great many of the golf rules imply by stating “A player shall not create an advantage for himself other than by his skill.” This would do away with picking the ball up, cleaning it, moving it, kicking it, soiling the club, stepping behind the ball – and all such things which are really manufactured improvements for the advantage Yet human nature would cry out that some circumstance had created an unfairness which they were simply going to even up. Their idea of evenness is a “fair advantage.”

The problem with creating such a large body of laws is that it also creates a legal bureaucracy to administer them. Legislatures create laws; review committees; and judges make interpretation. Add to this the administrative and policing entities and we get some small idea of the cost of letting legality define our morality.

Legal bureaucracy takes on a life of its own, promoting its own welfare by establishing the power to make laws not only prohibitive, but permissive. This is where we cross the stream at the widest point. When laws prohibit bad actions, they are serving their true function, but when they have to be consulted to permit good actions then freedom is being tightly circumscribed and caught in the net.

Wherever there is morality there can be a reverence for the spirit of the law permitting the simplification of the law.

This week consider this: 1) How easy is it to stay within the “letter of the law” while violating the “spirit of the law?” 2) What is the cost of prioritizing morality? 3) Who encourages me to take the high road in my decisions and actions?

Words of Wisdom: “Wherever people choose legality over morality, the body of laws must be large and the interpretations complicated – growing like a cancer maiming natural freedom.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For the law made nothing perfect. On the other hand a better hope is introduced, through which we draw near to God.” (Hebrews 7:19 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – February 2, 2021

Fred helped many with their problem solving processes when he distinguished between a problem and a fact of life… the first has a solution; the other is a given. To invert them creates frustration and an unhealthy obsession. This week the excerpt is from content focusing on facing problems.

Thank you for praying for the ongoing progress of BWFLI (Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute). As we change delivery options, we stay true to the mission of “stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders – to the glory of God.”

Problem? Make a Plan

Are you having relational or financial problems? How about health or emotional problems? Any major problem can be approached in an objective, logical way. Organizing the facts, and building an action plan keeps you from taking a passive posture.

Here are three legs of a planning stool:

1) Accept the seriousness of the problem. A friend has pancreatic cancer; it is serious. It is not psychosomatic handled with denial or even words of affirmation. Many current cults attempt to erase the reality of disease. But as one of my friends says, “You can’t cure diarrhea by denying it.” That may be a bit earthy, but memorable. Right? The first step in planning is to accept the reality.
2) Externalize the problem. I’m indebted to my friend Dr. Kevin Gill for a significant understanding of illness. When I was covered with the external effects of penicillin poisoning I said to him, “Kevin, my body is sick, but I’m not.” He smiled and said, “You are the kind who gets well.” Then he told me executives are the easiest patients to cure because they have a practice of externalizing problems, organizing them, and working on them objectively. He said the most difficult are those who internalize them thinking the problem is caused by guilt, punishment, or unfairness. I was speaking in Fresno, CA at a men’s meeting. I used Kevin’s quote and afterward a young badly came up to me. His physical disabilities were very apparent. He thanked me profusely, saying, “For the first time I have some words for how I feel. My body is disabled; I am not.” Ben Hayden pastored the First Presbyterian Church in Chattanooga. He told me that one of his members went through a cure for leukemia, sparking a nationally recognized book about his cure. He sent me the book and with it three pounds of letters his member had written. The great progress began when he became a “student of my disease.” This meant that simply as a third party he was going to examine the disease, being objective about it. Externalize, don’t internalize.
3) Use the problem as a learning experience. When a close friend received a cancer diagnosis he told me, “Fred, I have a new mentor: cancer. In my mind I think of it as Professor C.” There’s real wisdom in never losing the good of a bad experience. There is seldom, if ever, an experience that doesn’t contain a nugget of good. And as we learn we have the opportunity and responsibility to share with others what has been taught.

This week carefully consider: 1) What am I facing this week? 2) What comes close to overwhelming me? 3) Which of the three legs is most in need of shoring up?

Words of Wisdom: “Never lose the good of a bad experience.” (Editor’s note: in the vast library of “Fred Saids” this is one of the favorites.)

Wisdom from the Word: “Who is a wise person? Who knows the solution to a problem? A person’s wisdom brightens his appearance, and softens his harsh countenance.” (Ecclesiastes 8:1 NET Bible)