San Angelo Prayer Breakfast

Weekly Thought – December 10, 2019

Fred’s prayer life was personal. He never raised his hand to be the “public prayer expert.” His prayer was part of his private devotional life. His daughter Brenda commented on seeing her Dad kneeling by his bed nightly during her childhood at home. “To see this strong man humbly coming before the Lord marked me.”

Thank you for supporting the team at Palm Beach Atlantic University last month. Ongoing reports from President William Fleming and other campus leaders reinforce the effective ministry of the What’s Next Roundtable.

San Angelo Prayer Breakfast

(Note: Fred was invited by his friend Max Hulse to be the initial speaker as San Angelo, Texas established their annual Prayer Breakfast, inspired by the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, DC. This newspaper article written by Ron Durham covered the event. Fred’s thoughts in the 1980s still speak to us today.)

“Despite indications that the nation is in the Dark Ages morally, there are enough true believers acting out their commission as ‘the light of the world’ to prompt optimism,” Dallas businessman Fred Smith told an audience Thursday.

The remarks from Smith, a businessman, author, and inspirational speaker, was received enthusiastically by the approximate 600 people attending San Angelo’s version of the National Prayer Breakfast. This was the first-ever event.

“Prayer is a relationship that unites us instead of a doctrine which divides us.” At another point he said “moral problems require spiritual solutions.”

Acknowledging that “these are turbulent times because we are between Christian and non-Christian ideas.” He compared these times to a trapeze artist letting go of one bar and flying through the air reaching for the next swing.

Citing others who agree that the nation is in moral decline, Smith referred to Russian dissident Alexander Solzhenitszyn’s remark “the West is spiritually weary.” He quoted newsman Ted Koppel’s observation that “the ten commandments have become the ten suggestions.”

He also observed that the culture’s materialistic bent only points to a hole in the soul. “Many people have means but very little meaning.”

Smith posed a blunt challenge to members of churches and synagogues to live up to the claims of their faith. He referenced a recent study which said only 10% of church and synagogue members showed any significant difference in their lifestyle from non-members.

On the brighter side, he spoke of strong ministries growing and flourishing. He cited prison ministries and others focused on professional athletes which are the reason for optimism. He observed what he is seeing in the number of people who are verbalizing their desire to move from success to significance.

This week think about: 1) How can I apply Fred’s words from the mid-80s to my life today? 2) Which quote is particularly applicable to me? 3) If I were asked to address a prayer breakfast, what would I say?

Words of Wisdom: “Prayer is a relationship that unites us instead of a doctrine which divides us.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Lord, teach us to pray.” (Luke 11:1 NET Bible)

Emotional Perspectives

Weekly Thought – December 3, 2019

Fred thought continually about maturity. He considered various aspects of character development, bringing clarity. Growth was not casual or optional for him, but part of his responsibility to his God-given gifts and others.

Emotional Perspectives

When down times come here are three approaches that most take 1) fret, 2) become apathetic, or 3) become active.

If we choose activity we have to be careful to recognize both negative and positive results may follow. Oftentimes when we go into overdrive to avoid things we fear we risk heading into circumstances which are worse than those we are avoiding. When we take on negative behaviors like drugs or alcohol to keep our eyes averted from a disappointment, we can create even bigger problems.

A better alternative is recognizing the truth of the situation, then using our energies to take positive action rather than fretting, hiding, or making the situation worse. Downtimes can spur creativity. It is also a time for habits which get us through almost by rote. And a note here – these habits are established well before they are needed.

It is also critical to establish a method for working through the valleys. Taking charge of emotions is healthier than just giving in and spiraling downward. Children are reactionary, but healthy adults learn to have a repertoire of responses.

These dark times often follow mistakes we make. I am convinced the knowledge that we can come back, that we have resilience allows us to forgive ourselves and start again. When we do not feel we can come back we are tempted to transfer the responsibility for the failure to others.

The energy needed to build back can easily be sapped by wallowing in the emotional pit. Directing energies into climbing out and moving forward is the sign of emotional maturity.

Emotional valleys have value. Too many fail to see and use the deep places. In fact, many refuse to admit they are not on the mountain tops. They work hard to fill in the valleys with artificial means. Some choose overdosing on motivational messages, masks, denial, and down-right lying to themselves and others. How authentic can a person be exclaiming “Things couldn’t be better!” when clearly everything is falling down around them?

It is better to relax and take the valley rather than delaying and falling headlong into the pit.

And I learned a long time ago the food we eat on the mountain top was grown in the valley!

Words of Wisdom: “It is also critical to establish a method for working through the valleys.”

Wisdom from the Word: “As the mountains rose up, and the valleys went down— to the place you appointed for them.” (Psalm 104:8 NET Bible)

Time Control

Weekly Thought – November 26, 2019

Fred was once referred to as an “efficiency expert.” In the 1950s as modern management theory developed this phrase became popular. But Fred did not adopt this description. His masterful understanding of people, organizational dynamics, and human practices made him helpful to American corporations.

Your continuing support of our work encourages us month by month. We are consistently reminded how timeless Fred’s thinking and writing were. Your partnerships with us allow us to continue the work. Thank you.

Time Control

(Fred kept a notebook with topical illustrations from his experience. These three are excellent examples)

While consulting with Mobil Oil Corporation, VP of Marketing (Baxter Ball) and I developed a phrase which we used to minimize unnecessary work, and centralize the organization’s thinking about what Bax and I were trying to do. We coined the phrase, “Object of the Exercise.” For us this meant putting into one sentence what we were doing. We found out how seldom most people do this. Now my usual practice is to start each day by defining the work and identifying “the object of the exercise.” For me, this is the essence of time control.

One of my early bosses had a sign on his wall: “Results is the only excuse for activity.” On one occasion I was using a great many words to amplify the activity in order to cover up the meager results. Mid-sentence he interrupted me, “Fred, please, show me the baby and don’t tell me about the labor pains.” So often we get caught up in the entire labor process without ever seeing the baby. He wasn’t unkind. He taught me a valuable lesson in time control that I never forgot. And, my family will tell you they, too, have been “urged” to show me the baby!

I was having lunch with the President of a large American corporation. During the meal he told me he decided to leave his briefcase at work, never taking it home. This surprised me, for certainly I couldn’t understand any executive choosing to be so disrespectful of the responsibility to look conscientious. How could he leave his office without his briefcase? What would others think? I asked him how he could possibly depart from the time-proven image of an executive with his briefcase in hand each evening. “Simple, Fred. I found that all day long I was sorting papers, deciding which ones would go home with me at night. I stopped sorting papers and started doing my work.” I found this to be a helpful illustration of time control.

These three illustrations keep me focused on accomplishment and productivity – and away from the good Texas expression: “fixin’ to.” Managing time well is critical to living and leading well.

This week think about: 1) How well am I handling my time? 2) Which of these illustrations resonates with me? 3) What other illustrations come to mind which help me control my time?

Words of Wisdom: “What is the object of the exercise?”

Wisdom from the Word? “For everything there is an appointed time, and an appropriate time for every activity on earth.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NET Bible)

Four Things

Weekly Thought – November 19, 2019

Fred thought systematically. He once said about a friend, “He has an impeccable mind… everything is in place.” Fred, too, had a mind which organized for maximum usage. Mary Alice loved order, too, but in the house. She finally gave up on having his environment (covered with books, articles, scraps of notepaper, etc.) match the pristine nature of his thinking process.

2019’s Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute schedule completed with a successful time at Palm Beach Atlantic University. Thanks to Mark Modesti and the BWFLI team for their work. And deep gratitude to President Fleming and his outstanding staff for their devotion to the growth of their students.

Four Things

(Fred categorized as an effective way to organize content. This week’s thought is built on sets of four things.)

Four great questions:
1. Adam, where are you?
2. Am I my brother’s keeper?
3. Who do you say that I am?
4. Do you love me?
People are searching for these four things:
1. a. Identity and individuality
2. Community – a sense of being home
3. Meaning and significance
4. Hope
Those who have a high need for achievement display four characteristics:
1. They set realistic, not impossible, goals for themselves
2. They prefer work situations in which they can take personal responsibility for the effort and the goal achievement
3. They desire feedback about their own performance
4. They show initiative in researching their environment, traveling, trying new things, and searching for new opportunities
Four elements of entrepreneurial pursuits
1. The emotional strain of playing with your own chips.
2. Wearing more hats and being required to handle more detail than customary
3. Realization that working with people takes twice as long and at least 50% more money.
4. Consider early change in lifestyle and social status understanding money alone is not the full satisfaction in life.
Four steps to helping people reach their potential
1. Locate the path of potential. People cannot do anything they want to or anything they can think of, despite current clichés.
2. Have faith to believe in the potential. Faith is an act, not a feeling or simply a word. Faith is acting as if it were so.
3. Initiate discipline to accomplish the potential. This is the operating system.
4. Have gratitude to enjoy the potential. Gratitude recognized that we have nothing but what we have received.

This week think about: 1) Which set of four things particularly stirs my thinking? 2) How can I organize my thoughts to be more helpful to myself and to others? 3) Who should I be investing in this week?

Words of Wisdom: “Have faith to believe in the potential (of others) knowing faith is an act, not a feeling or simply a word.”

Wisdom from the Word: “There are four things on earth that are small, but they are exceedingly wise.” (Proverbs 30:24 NET Bible)

Excellence in Relations

Weekly Thought – November 12, 2019

Fred benefited from dear, close friends. At the end of his life during a hospital stay he spent a morning saying goodbye to many. The precious nature of these conversations demonstrated the depth of lifelong friendships.

As the year closes, your financial support is greatly appreciated.

Excellence in Relations

Mutuality is the heart of relations. We invest interest, time, energy, and love in others. Healthy relationships return them, as well. Without mutuality no relationship remains healthy. Exchange is a good word for this. When one does all the giving, and the other is the total receiver, the relationship isn’t good, and probably will not last long term.

Mutuality is pragmatic. The first time I heard someone say only mutual relations last I thought it was cynical. But as I have watched over the years I know all parties must get something valuable or the association eventually withers and dies. To ensure longevity each one must work to provide and receive value. I believe it is critical for each one want the other to receive a little more. That creates a healthy dynamic.

A strong relationship has a benefits balance and the true spirit of mutuality.

It is important to avoid looking for a formula. A relationship is much more. A current phrase puts it this way: “Christianity is not a religion; it is a relationship.” For example, when the Philippian jailer asked, “What must I do to be saved?” Paul didn’t give him a formula or a set of rules… he outlined a relationship: “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.”

Relations must be planned, and maintained. Like flowers in a beautiful garden they must be arranged harmoniously, artfully, and synergistically. Each flower must be well related to another.

Environments matter. Some relations, like flowers, only flourish in particular soils, or for certain seasons. Some are single purpose like flowers which may be colorful but have little or no aroma.

We must know the seasons of our relationships. Enjoying them fully during their peak and not expecting to bloom out of time creates harmony and health. Great memories keep them alive. Appreciation and gratitude are necessary for excellent relations.

This week think about: 1) How am I doing as a nurturer? 2) What can I do to increase the quality of my relations? 3) Who can I encourage this week?

Words of Wisdom: “Relationships are mutual.”

Wisdom from the Word: “‘Even if the mountains are removed and the hills displaced, my devotion will not be removed from you, nor will my covenant of friendship be displaced,’ says the Lord, the one who has compassion on you.” (Isaiah 54:10 NET Bible)

Out and About With Fred

Weekly Thought – November 5, 2019

Fred lived with eyes wide open. Every experience fell into a mental file, easily accessible for future application. In a binder he accumulated what he titled “Stories.” This week’s blog gives two excellent examples of Fred’s ability to collect – and then use for the benefit of others.

Thank you for supporting the legacy work of Fred Smith, Sr. Your messages and Facebook shares are encouraging and invigorating.

Out and About With Fred

Well Done Service

I was speaking at a civic meeting in Kingston, New York. My host was scheduled to pick me up, even in the cold, inclimate February weather. A young man appeared who immediately told me he was driving me because he was concerned my host, who was older, would be nervous about the bad roads. As we rode, I found out this young man drove a delivery truck and worked in a warehouse for a local firm.

He was one of the most committed people I had met – committed to service. As we drove, he pulled into a rest stop saying, “You might find a cup of coffee or a restroom among the more pleasant things of life.”

After the meeting I found someone had taken my overcoat – a dire necessity in the cold New York weather. My driver immediately thought about an elderly man whose memory was not quite as sharp as it had been. He drove me to the hotel, tracked down my overcoat, returned to the hotel with it, and handed me a card with his home phone and the number of the closest local hospital. In our conversation he heard me say I had been having gallstone pains. He then told me I could call him any time day or night and he would be happy to come get me.

As he left he asked if he could attend the breakfast the next morning because “I just want to listen.” Afterwards he made a quick exit to his truck, bringing me an envelope which he handed me. “It’s Valentine’s Day. I know you are traveling and was afraid you might have forgotten to get a card for your wife.” It was one of those gaudy, gushy valentines which I would have never picked out, but I was proud to give Mary Alice via the man who was totally committed to service – a man with a noble spirit for whatever task, however menial.

Well Done Commitment

Eating in a country café in Grand Saline, TX I noticed a forty-ish couple sitting behind me. They looked like “salt of the earth” people. Of course, Grand Saline is the salt capital as the home of Morton Salt production! When he got up to pay the bill he came back, stood a minute, and then reached lifting her from the booth. Her arms went around his neck. He backed out the café door, putting her into his pickup parked right outside the door. I saw she was wrapped in a full body brace and unable to stand. As we all watched wordlessly, the waitress commented, “He took his vows seriously, didn’t he?”

This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I notice people and experiences around me? 2) What way can I apply these life lessons? 3) Who models this skill in my daily life?

Words of Wisdom: “A man with a noble spirit for whatever task, however menial.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I know your deeds: your love, faith, service, and steadfast endurance.” (Revelation 2:19a NET Bible)

Scattershooting with the Sage

Weekly Thought – October 29, 2019

Fred often remarked about his one liner style as an outgrowth of sending telegrams. He learned to say the most in the least number of words. He tweeted long before the technology ever developed! He was well-known for his punchy wisdom bites.

Please pray for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute team as they travel to West Palm Beach, Florida to engage students in the “What’s Next Roundtable.” Your prayer and financial support is greatly appreciated.

Scattershooting with the Sage

1. I can tell a great deal about you from: the recurring subjects in your conversation, the time allocation on your calendar, and how you spend your money.
2. A good conversation should unwrap an idea like a gift package: slowly, mysteriously, and interestingly.
3. We find that most people are logical if we know the base (premise) from which they operate.
4. A job well done is its own reward.
5. Blessing is not a synonym for success.
6. Earl Palmer has on his desk a hand-sculpted sign: “It’s never easy.”
7. I’m not for the old times because I like these times when you have a bedroom and a bath, not a shared bedroom and a path. (Note: Fred remembered the hollyhock lined way to the outhouse!)
8. Opportunity is not mandate.
9. Humility is not denying the power you have but admitting that the power comes through you and not from you.
10. A man does not grow old, but becomes old by not growing.
11. Service is the rent we pay for the space we occupy in life.
12. No matter what age you are, you only have now… that is all you’ve ever had or ever will have, so at any age you have as much as you’ve ever had.
13. God does provide food for the birds of the air, but He doesn’t put the food in their nests.
14. One of our spiritual mistakes is giving God a timetable.
15. One of the greatest Christian rationales for greed is “The Lord blessed me.”

This week think about: 1) Which one liner can be applied right away? 2) ) Which one liner can be applied right away? 3) What am I doing to develop my thinking?

Words of Wisdom: “Opportunity is not mandate.”

Wisdom from the Word: “God gave Solomon wisdom and very great discernment; the breadth of his understanding was as infinite as the sand on the seashore.” (1 Kings 4:29 NET Bible)

Asking About Ethics

Weekly Thought – October 22, 2019

Fred’s ability to ask probing questions enabled him to effectively mentor others. He also used this technique to measure his own progress. Strength of character was his hallmark. When he assessed others as business associates, integrity was the first consideration. Someone asked him how he knew he still had self-respect. “When I wake up in the middle of the night and try to talk to the little boy who lives inside who knows right and wrong, black and white, and he tells me to get lost, I know I have lost my self-respect. When he and I have a good conversation and he says, ‘You’re doing fine’ I can go back to sleep.”

Asking About Ethics

My only reason to speak is to change attitudes and behavior, both those of the audience and mine. One of the questions I like to ask is: “What is the strength of your ethics?” Let me give four questions:

1) Are you using a scriptural or a secular base? God’s law or man’s law? J.C. Penney said, “I shall not be judged by the Heavenly Father according to what I do now, by the material success I achieve. I shall be judged by the honesty of my purpose and by the spirit with which I pursue life’s duties.” He saw work as worship; he had a scriptural base.

2) Do our ethics promote our self-respect? Solzhenitsyn heard that the Dean of Canterbury was friendly to communism. He responded when he heard the man had commented “Better Red than dead,” “Better dead than a scoundrel.”

3) Does our ethical base emphasize our responsibilities or our rights? I have noticed that any individual, organization or society that emphasizes its rights is constantly in conflict with others. Responsibilities have a way of overlapping and forming a bond; rights always clash together. Those who emphasize their rights eventually become paranoid which grows into an unrealistic level of conflict. Oftentimes, their philosophy turns into “the end justifies the means.” This is immoral and cannot coexist with moral ethics.

4) What is the effect of your ethical base on the development of your character? In a conversation with a middle-aged executive I learned his fast progress up the ladder left him uneasy and dissatisfied. “Fred, I’m really not happy with who I am becoming. I’m not a better husband, a better father, a better citizen, or even a better person. I’m successful, but I’ve become phony.” Character is an inside job, and it is largely determined by the succession of choices, desires, habits, and beliefs we inculcate and personify.

Let me ask you three serious questions to contemplate: 1) Am I happy with who I am becoming? 2) Are my ethics on a firm foundation? 3 Will my anchor of ethics hold in the tempest of temptation?

Making sure of ethical mile markers is an exercise before engaging in any enterprise. Waiting until the action has begun is too late. The lines must be drawn way before day one.

This week think about: 1) How clear are my ethical standards to myself, my family, and my workplace? 2) Where are my soft spots? 3) Who serves as an accountability partner for me?

Words of Wisdom: Emphasizing responsibilities creates a bond; demanding rights separates.

Wisdom from the Word: “Yes, your servant finds moral guidance there; those who obey them receive a rich reward.” (Psalm 19:11 NET Bible)

Ministry of Ushering

Weekly Thought – October 15, 2019

Fred thoroughly enjoyed being a substitute teacher at the Elliott Class (Highland Park Presbyterian Church, Dallas). His influence in that class continues even years after his death. He dedicated himself to preparation for these lessons. And time the class members commented on the way he stretched them.

Ministry of Ushering

The President of this class also serves as the Head Usher. In a recent time together I asked him, “What does it take to be a good usher?” “The first thing is you’ve got to love Jesus Christ with all your heart… so much so that it comes through in your enthusiasm and warmth.”

I have to admit, that wasn’t one of the first things I thought about. In fact, in my own upbringing I surmised there was a bidding system for the center aisle on Sunday mornings which usually went to people who sold insurance or cars and wanted to give themselves an honest name. I thought you had to have a dark suit, and a lapel wide enough for the carnation, too. In fact, I figured those who didn’t really want to be in the work of the church volunteered for church work. And I must confess, in my experience, it gave the advantage of stepping out for a smoke between passing the plate and sitting down. His quick response certainly brought me up short.

Then in typical Smith fashion I started thinking about the potential in the ministry of ushering. It is an exercise of the gift of hospitality. And there are others, as well, which relate to the functions of the church.

1) Many come to the church as if it were a hospital. They might be dressed in designer outfits and not hospital gowns, but they hurt just the same. Who is in a better position to recognize the hurting than the first contact?

2) Some come through the doors who are spiritual lost, without a relationship with God through Jesus. They have not had a new birth experience. Others are believers but are still lost, having wandered off from the Shepherd.

3) Most attending formal services want a reverent atmosphere. Even though I have friends who claim to worship more fully on the golf course or in a boat on the lake, many still find a sense of communing with God in a corporate environment… a “time and place” format for worship. The mode of physical gathering changes, but the idea of bringing honor and glory to God doesn’t. The idea of reverential awe still exists and the ushers are the very first ones to set the tone.

My friend’s comment about warmth and enthusiasm emanating from a love of Jesus Christ is truly the bedrock. The ushers are the very first handshake, greeting, and contact. They serve well as ministers of grace and hospitality.

This week think about: 1) How often do I consider the ministry of my church ushers? 2) What spurs me to notice those who need a friendly word? 3) Who sets an example in my church and how can I express appreciation?

Words of Wisdom: “Ushering is an exercise in the gift of hospitality.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Contribute to the needs of the saints, pursue hospitality.” (Romans 12:13 NET Bible)

Confrontation is a Responsibility

Weekly Thought – October 8, 2019

Fred believed in maturity. Despite his reputation, Fred did not relish confrontation, but he knew it was part of growth. In typical Fred fashion, he did a great deal of thinking on the subject. This excerpt from musings and notes highlights his process.

Please pray as BWFLI continues deepening relationships with students, faculty, and administrators. Watching them navigate the challenges with faith excites us. Recent articles trumpeting the lack of faith, decline in belief, and evaporation of hope emphasize the importance of the relationship between Christian laymen and the schools.

Confrontation is a Responsibility

Control of confrontation is important. Too often it is seen as a loaded gun open on the desk. That is a faulty way of thinking – and using – it.

It is a very purposeful tool, and I like to think of two basic types:

1) In a work environment between employer and employee

2) In a personal environment between friends or family

In the first one, you deal primarily with the facts of the case. It usually includes “this is the failure – here is why it is unacceptable.” Creating a strategy to rectify the situation is part of the outcome. It is a formal process.

The second involves feelings, motivations, and deep sources that require careful handling.

Confrontation requires a correct environment. It is very important the other person hears what you are saying. And not only what you’re saying, but why you are saying it. For that you have to go below the surface by asking questions.

In the personal confrontation I have found taking a “third party persona” works well. For example, I tell the story of somebody else who had a similar problem. I may not even mention the offense in the story. As it unfolds it is not unusual for the person to say, “You know, that is pretty close to my situation.” The opening up of the problematic situation permits the conversation to move ahead. I know the parallel in the stories but I do not create a scenario that manipulates the situation. And I am careful to never confront anybody with anything that they can’t change.

In confrontation it is not necessary to take the position that it is the immovable hitting the unstoppable. I like to think sometimes it is like running along and jumping on like you would a San Francisco trolley car. But you have to have the right environment for this to happen.

1) You have to have the right motive. Itching for a fight is not the way. It is always to enable the other person to grow, never to humiliate them. Accomplishment is the goal.

2) You have to have the right modus operandi (MO). I am careful about confronting anyone in business or the family before others. Correction is private. These conversations need to be respectful, even in the most difficult circumstances.

3) You have to have the right follow-up. Many times the right follow-up is no follow-up. I don’t want the person to give me blame or credit for the steps taken afterward.

This week think about: 1) How careful am I about confrontation? 2) Who models this skill well? 3) What situation am I facing right now?

Words of Wisdom: “In confrontation it is not necessary to take the position that it is the immovable hitting the unstoppable.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who refuses correction despises himself, but whoever hears reproof acquires understanding.” (Proverbs 15:32 NET Bible)

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