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  • Articles posted by mandate (Page 91)

What is Love?

Weekly Thought – March 4, 2014

Fred’s memorial service featured a DVD produced six months before his death.  He shared wisdom, humor, and inspiration.  He spoke of the legacy he wanted to leave for his children: “I don’t want them to need me; I want them to love me.”  Fred loved deeply, but he didn’t like to be “ooky-gooky” about it.  Yes, that is his expression.

Thank you for praying with the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute team.  God’s presence and power filled the days.  The Palm Beach Atlantic University campus was “buzzing” with the conversations, the interactions, and the prayer.  The team appreciates the warm hospitality of PBA.

What is Love?

“How do you define love, Fred?”  Frankly, I don’t have a concise and precise answer that covers the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual elements.  After all, the Greeks had at least four different words.

Love is so poorly understood.  The best definition I have found is: “Love is willing the ultimate good for the other person.”  I like the idea of “willing,” rather than “wanting,” “feeling,” or “wishing.”  Love is deeply rooted in the will.

If left to feelings, it invariably becomes selfish. Because we are fundamentally self-centered, undisciplined love focuses on ourselves and not the ultimate good of the other.  Competition ensues —my ultimate good versus yours.  When I hear someone say, “If you loved me, you would…” I know selfishness is ruling.

Two factors are in play using this definition: 1) will and 2) ultimate good.  When we use these measures, we maturely respond to emotional situations.  By looking for the ultimate good we are able to include discipline, restraint, and even confrontation in our response to others.      (more…)

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Everyday Facades

Shirt and IronBrenda’s Blog – March 4, 2014

“Just don’t take your jacket off – you’ll be fine!” 

As college student newly-weds, our schedules were chaotic.  Good friends invited us to their apartment for dinner, and this was one of our first married couple outings.  Only problem – I was behind on my ironing.  In those days, shirts were button-down oxford cloth which definitely weren’t “wash and wear.”  They required starch, much elbow grease… and time.  On that Saturday night, I was fresh out of all three!

“I will iron the collar and the front of the shirt – they will never know and you will look fine.”  Famous last words.  Out he went in his faux-ironed shirt under a wool sport coat, even though it was a balmy fall evening.

They kept urging him to “make yourself comfortable and take off your jacket .”  To his credit, my husband braved the hot, un-air-conditioned apartment with a smile, while wiping the perspiration from his forehead, and ignoring their offers.

I don’t remember if we ever told Ted and Kathy what lay behind the crisp shirt front.

For years I was in a sales world which espoused the “fake it ‘til you make it” philosophy.  “Don’t ever let them see you sweat” was taken as reasonable truth.  How foolish!  We need to be willing to let others see that beneath the wool sport coat are lots of wrinkles.  We need to acknowledge we don’t have all the answers.

A female associate of mine years ago was known for her painstaking efforts on her hair – at least the front of it.  One day the comment was made, “Doesn’t she know she has to eventually leave the room?  Why doesn’t she brush the back?”  All of us have to leave the room, don’t we?  When we are tempted to put up a front, let’s remember that.

Life is messy; life is wrinkled.  Authenticity has a high price tag… but it pays high dividends, as well. 

 

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Enmity Toward Us

Weekly Thought – February 25, 2014

Fred enjoyed laughter as “life lubricant.”  As he aged, he believed humor was one of the key elements of aging well.  And part of the freedom of laughter is the ability to let go of slights given by others. 

Praying with us as we go forward with the work of Fred Smith, Sr. encourages and strengthens us. Thank you.

Enmity Toward Us

While we can avoid enmity toward others, we cannot control others’ enmity toward us. When we find we have an enemy, we can take a healthy review.

There are several reasons others dislike us. Here are a few:

1) Our involvement in a cause.  Cliff Barrows of the Billy Graham team once told me that they are well received, but there is always the offense of the Cross.  In war times we see lines drawn creating political enemies.  The poignant book, All Quiet on the Western Front showed the pathos of war.

2) Being different from others.  Some people just don’t like anything “foreign.”  We had a home in another state for years.  There was a clear feeling we were “flat landers” and not truly accepted.  I asked a local how long we would have to be there before we were accepted as one of them.  “Oh, about 50 years, I’d say.”

3) Our self-centeredness. We are selfish by nature.  The paradox of Christianity is that we are to be servants of all.  We are to use our time and talents not just for ourselves, but for others to the glory of God.      (more…)

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Bearing An Enemy’s Burden

Weekly Thought – February 18, 2014

Fred spent little time holding on to grudges.  He understood the proper role of those who are enemies and the power of “staying in the state of forgiveness.”  At age five, Fred lost the use of his right hand.  Through childhood he was limited in his physical activities and was exposed to taunting.  He chose to view his disability as a “fact of life, not a problem” because “a fact of life is something you cannot change; a problem is something you can solve.” 

Planning is underway for two Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institutes: Palm Beach Atlantic University in February and Taylor University in April.  Please join with us in prayer.

Bearing An Enemy’s Burden

The acid of enmity is a heavy burden.  Being commanded to “bear one another’s burdens,” we bear an enemy’s burden of hatred toward us as one way of helping them with their burden…for certainly hatred is a burden.

When I am with a man who dislikes me, I can forget his hatred of me as soon as I leave – but he has to carry it with him always.  As I pray for him to have a lighter burden, I pray to have a lighter enemy.

Most of us would like to be more objective in our evaluation of people.  We respect those who can truly and sanely differentiate between the strength and weaknesses of others.  Nowhere are we tested more in this than in objectively evaluating our enemies.

I remember wartime posters which depicted the political enemy as a demented animal, leering out at us who were clearly God’s chosen people.  We forget that the posters in their countries see us in the same evil way.      (more…)

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Work at Faith

golden holy cross in shoping cart with sky flareBrenda’s Blog – February 18, 2014

“Splash Kingdom – Family Waterpark”

          SEEK THE KINGDOM

                            Matthew 6:33

The interstate billboard caught my attention. I understand the intersection of faith and work.  But, is it possible we sometimes transpose the emphasis?  Is this perhaps making faith a marketing tool, instead of making the market a place for our faith?

Certainly, the owners are believers who connect their company with the community of faith. I have taken my grandchildren to their fine establishment, throwing themselves mercilessly down slides and traversing watery canals.  I hold no ill will, but wonder about the ad campaign.

Just as the early Christians drew the symbol of the fish in the dust to notify others of their secret meeting places, we have our own Christianese. We speak in lingo, don’t we?  We draw ichthus symbols, we wear crosses, we say “bless you,” and communicate in Christian code among ourselves.  We think this will add a plus to our business among the faithful.

But do we take the significance of these symbols too lightly?  John Peterson, a noted Christian musician once said, “in composing I cannot approach the cross with flippancy.  I cannot take this subject lightly.”  Perhaps we should think carefully about the way we handle these icons.

There are Christians in business, but there are no Christian businesses.  Christ died in obedience to the Father for individuals, not for corporations (or even partnerships or sole proprietorships!)  Our faith should be evident, indeed, but should we reconsider the way we market our membership in the most holy of all associations?

Ours is a sacred privilege – to bear the name of Christ and to have access to His Word, and His throne room.  Let’s hold this with awe, not aw-shucks!

 

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The Power to Take Hurt

Weekly Thought – February 11, 2014

Fred stressed redemption.  He talked of redeeming the time, experiences, and relationships.  He wrote in You and Your Network of the importance of enemies. This month the emails feature his thinking on the value of including them in the evaluation of a personal network.

Each week we receive emails confirming the encouragement of Fred’s words.  Thank you for your support.  And, we certainly appreciate your financial gifts which allow us to continue our work.

The Power to Take Hurt

Through enemies we learn to take hurt rather than give it, thereby redeeming the situation.  A young man in the congregation of Peninsula Bible Church (Palo Alto, CA) said, “If I meet a dude on the street and he starts calling me names, I am not going to try to understand him.  I am going to make him stop; I am going to grab him and push him into the gutter.”  Then he paused, “That is what I used to do, but I don’t do that anymore.”  He found the power through Christ to absorb injustice and discovered the truth that a soft answer turns away wrath.  This keeps the hostile situation from proliferating but also creates a question in the enemy’s mind: “What gives him the power to do that?”  This, then, becomes the witness to the spiritual power for it is not natural to take hurt when you are capable of returning it.

The Catholic monk, Thomas A Kempis put it this way: “It is good that we at times endure opposition and that we are evilly and untruly judged when our actions and intentions are good.  Often such experiences promote humility and protect us from vainglory.  For then we seek God’s witness in our heart.”     (more…)

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Your Move

Hand and scrabble gameBrenda’s Blog – February 4, 2014

“Kennett, Missouri – home of Sheryl C_OW.”  Clearly a mischief maker found great humor in removing the “R.”  It made me think about the power of letters.

Think about the power of an “e” when you decide to be better, rather than bitter.

During my years of care giving I experienced many difficult and challenging moments.  There were times when I felt truly overwhelmed.  One night I sat at the computer, typing out my emotions.  At the end, I realized Mom and Dad gave me the opportunity to see the Lord change “scared into sacred.”  Holy transposition!

An old game gives you a word, requires you to shift one letter at a time, and then arrive at a completely new word.  There is a great leadership principle embedded in this exercise.  Cultural transitions aren’t made by jumping from A to Z.  Making incremental steps allows the organization to stabilize before making the next move.  They are shifting a letter at a time to complete the change.

Sometimes the word game gets off track because the moves weren’t the right ones.  Isn’t this true of organizational morphing, as well?  With each step, reassessment and review is necessary to see if the ultimate goal will be reached.

When we play the Scrabble® game of life we want to make sure it doesn’t turn into a Scramble!

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The Blessing of Enemies

Weekly Thought – February 4, 2014

Fred was a pragmatist and a realist. He never allowed himself to discount the value of a difficulty. His famous “Never lose the good of a bad situation” emphasizes his analytical nature. Nothing was wasted. When most chose to wall off the influence of enemies, Fred studied their impact…to the good.

The final preparations for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute events at Palm Beach Atlantic University are moving at top speed. Please check out www.bwfli.com to get a taste of PBA. Continue praying for team members Al Angell, John Begley, Hartzel Black, Ron Cunningham, Krish Dhanam, Marianne Dodge, Jim Hailey, Garry Kinder,Tanya Magnus, Mark Modesti, Jack Murphy, Joe Petersen, JJ Prendamano, Cliff and Marie Shiepe, Keith and Carolyn Stonehocker, Kat Van Dusen, Pat Walters, Dan Williams, and Brenda A. Smith.

The Blessing of Enemies

It is difficult to say, “Thank you for enemies,” but if we are thankful in everything, then we must. There is value in opposition. There is nothing that makes us take stock or do self-evaluation than the awareness someone thoroughly dislikes us. Knowing someone believes the world would be better off without us challenges our faith and our character.

Our command to love our enemies is uncommon. The historian Michael N. Hart says that Christianity enjoys one of its finest distinctives in loving our enemies. In most world religions, revenge is not just supported, but commanded.     (more…)

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Redemption Lived Out

Weekly Thought – January 28, 2014

Fred never preached.  His Christian witness was one of bringing scriptural principles to bear in every situation.  The evidence of Biblical truth was strong in his conversations, but he never sought to artificially impose “chapter and verse” on anyone.  Buttons showing a duck crossed out by a black stripe were handed out to all the men at a retreat in California after one attendee heard Fred’s comment on living the Christian life — “Don’t duck!”

We are encouraging each Weekly Thought recipient to tell 10 others about this wisdom and leadership email.  We need your help in our expanding, deepening, and preserving efforts.  Will you help us?

Redemption Lived Out

Redemptive living requires discipline:

1) Prayer – Personally, I don’t pray for miracles.  I pray for a willingness to join God in His process of working out matters.  Prayer isn’t to change God, nor inform Him, nor to convince Him to make me an exception to His process — it isn’t a negotiation process.  It is to make me conscious that He is, that He is present, that He Cares, and that His Spirit is available to dedicate us to the rightness of what we are doing.

2) Biblical principles – We bring redemption when we bring the principles of the Bible to whatever situation we are involved in, whether it is business, church, family, or social life.  Too often the Bible is used for its stories and its promises, while avoiding and neglecting the principles and commands. We need to be clear in the fundamental principle, not just the story.  For example, if we decide the controlling principle as seen in Daniel is “obey God and you won’t get hurt” the story of Stephen invalidates that.  The principle is: “Decide to do the right thing and let the consequences follow, whatever they are.”  The principle is obedience, not escape.      (more…)

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Redemptive By Choice

Weekly Thought – January 21, 2014

Fred respected life. He also felt a great responsibility to make his life count. Raised in the home of a Southern Baptist pastor, he learned early on the theological definition of redemption. He expanded it to cover an attitude which he highly regarded. He often quoted the verse which admonished us to “redeem the time.”

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute at Palm Beach Atlantic University is soon approaching. Would you please pray for the team members, the steering committee, the faculty, students, and administration at PBA, and the favor of God? Thank you for standing with us.

Redemptive By Choice

I have a responsibility to be redemptive when and where I have the opportunity. To be transformed is not just a personal thing; it is a starting point for the transformation of those around us. We can create redemptive atmospheres and environments for those around us.

The ultimate in redemptive action is to bring God’s power to the people and situations in which we find ourselves.

There is a sense in which redemptive simply means replacing good with evil. That can be done philosophically by men of good will. Bringing God’s power into play is the true definition of redemption.     (more…)

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