Weekly Thought – August 26, 2014

Fred constantly looked for ways to make forward progress.  The identification of problems and growth areas began the process.  Defining solutions had to follow to avoid falling into negative patterns.  When he spoke about the loss of confidence and relationships as the basis for pain, he immediately followed up with suggestions for recovery.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute has taken teams to 10 Christian institutions.  Nearly 70 men and women have contributed to these leadership blitzes focused on “stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.”

Overcoming Loss

How can you persevere through professional and personal loss?  Here are three ideas which have worked for me.  See if they strike a chord with you.

1) Build new support systems

Unless we can recognize the difference between business associates and genuine friends we will be disappointed and hardened when things change.  One man going through a serious financial downturn wisely listed his friends who would not be affected by his money failures.  He and his wife concentrated on spending their time with those on their “authentic” list.  We should be mature enough to avoid disillusionment when social relationships grow cold as mutual benefits decrease.

2) Stay in the loop

Keep up contacts and activities even when enduring difficult times.  You might have to alter your social habits because you don’t have the discretionary income for golf, the expense account for pricey lunches, or exotic vacations, but you can creatively stay in touch.  I find writing letters, sending clippings, making phone calls, and looking for local opportunities keep my mind active and the energy up.  My physical incapacity eliminates many of the ways I connected with business and personal contacts.  Finding alternative methods is essential and actually mentally challenging.  The temptation to draw back during setbacks is damaging.  My Mother used to say, “This, too, shall pass.”  Cutting off relationships during low periods endangers the eventual comeback.      (more…)

Weekly Thought – August 19, 2014

Fred wrapped up his earthly assignment on August 17, 2007 at 9:15am. His life was devoted to faithfully stewarding his gifts for the benefit of others. His thinking on perseverance enabled many to navigate choppy waters. This week’s email is an excerpt from a Sunday School lesson for Highland Park Presbyterian Church. He talked about the pain of progress.

On September 12 and 13, 2015 we will celebrate the 100th anniversary of Fred’s birth. We will be sharing his impact on others. If you wish to participate, please email us answering the question: “How did Fred stretch you?”

Thank you for supporting us in prayer, encouragement, and financial assistance.

Positively Painful

Plan for pain – it will come. Don’t be shocked; don’t be thrown off course. James tells us, “Don’t be surprised when various trials come.” A well-conceived plan makes us ready for action.

In my experience, one of the primary causes of pain is loss. Here are two of the most prominent:

1) Confidence – An officer of a failed corporation sat at breakfast and told me he was a phony. “I didn’t have the capability everyone credited to me.” I stopped him saying, “I wouldn’t sit and listen to anyone else lie about you, so I won’t let you do it, either.” That is exactly what he was doing. He lost his confidence, but not his ability. I have a sign in my office to remind me: “You haven’t failed – only your plans have.”

Having an objective view of the experience allows us to accurately assess our situation. In doing this, we operate from the current reality, allowing us to make solid judgments. A totally subjective approach results in withdrawal or the cockiness of false confidence.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – August 12, 2014

Fred once read that root canals without anesthetic were a form of WWII torture.  When his dentist told him one was in his future, he decided to see if he could have endured the pain.  SO, he did it without anesthetic!  He made it, giving the dentist one of those “let me tell you about my crazy patient” stories.  Fred recalled the experience, telling others it only took his nervous system six months to recover.

Plan for Pain

Bob Richards, former Olympic gold medalist, and I lectured together.  I listened in as he interviewed other Olympians.  “What do you do when you hurt?”  Each one of them had a specific routine for the painful times.  I was curious and asked him later, “Why did you ask that?”  Quickly, he replied, “No one wins the gold without hurting.”  They expected it and planned for it.  It was part of the perseverance plan on the road to the victory stand.

Marathoners anticipate “hitting the wall.”  A business associate began running 26+ mile races in his 50th year.  His first one was at White Rock Lake in Dallas.  The runners call it “Running the Rock,” and know exactly where they will experience the great depletion of mental and physical energy.  As he ran it year after year, he knew the mile marker and trained to break through it.

Our daughter, Brenda, entertained her young grandson, Andrew at a play area.  She watched him try over and over to climb atop the tree-like molded plastic form.  He slipped, fell, bruised his knees, but kept going after it.  She decided he had tried enough, and suggested they play somewhere else.  He looked her square in the eye as he hung a few feet from the top.  “Gram, do you know what a champion is?  Until I get to the top I won’t be a champion.”  He knew the pain of perseverance and the cost of championship.

My friend Robert Schuller often said on national TV, “no pain, no gain.”  That’s true, but without genuine perseverance there can be pain with no gain.  I am interested in your gain, and I want you to plan for pain as you develop.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – July 29, 2014

Fred’s gift of discernment enabled him to understand people.  When analyzing situations, he said he “looked for the ego.”  In writing on perseverance he identified an unhealthy ego and boredom as two enemies of endurance.  He considered boredom unimaginable to the fertile mind.

In September, we will begin a year long Centennial Celebration culminating in a 100th birthday event in 2015, recognizing Fred’s anniversary.  During the year we will focus on highlights of his life.  Please share your “how Fred stretched me” thoughts with us.

Enemies of the Good

Where are we deriving our ego satisfaction?  Where are we deriving our ego satisfaction?  Do we seek gratification from others or practice dedication to the betterment of others?

It is key to understand ego is intrinsic to our human nature.  We do not strive to empty ourselves, but we seek to have the proper perspective which leads to a healthy ego.   Difficult times can war against us, leaving us wounded.  Loss often detaches us from our healthy ego and makes us feel rootless.  The challenge is to find a healthy alternative.

In tough times, we quickly identify our ego centers.  Our child is involved in illegal activities, our spouse is jailed for fraudulent business practices, we lose our prestigious job and social standing, or a friend betrays us… we quickly must find the foundation of our true identity.     (more…)