Success, A Slippery Slope

Weekly Thought – June 2, 2015

Fred defined success as the ratio between gifts given and gifts used. He saw the personal nature of this measurement. He refused to use wealth, position, or status as gauges for attaining success.

Thank you again for your ongoing support. When you email, call, or visit our Facebook group and page, we are uplifted and strengthened. The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute page on Facebook contains pictures, blog entries, and information about the activities.

Our society is permeated with the success syndrome. Recently, I heard a young motivational speaker proclaim, “Fake it ‘til you make it!” He meant to establish an image of success and then work the daylights out to get there. Somehow this seems like pedaling fast to catch up with yourself.

If we let others define our success, it is truly a slippery slope. If we follow Christ’s example, then we simply go about doing good. Once a young preacher said to me, “I can be happy just being a man of God, but that isn’t enough for my family… it isn’t enough for my board… they want me to be successful and make the church successful.” Heartbreaking, wrong-headed thinking.

I suggest to any Christian who wants to be successful he explore scripture and find a model of someone who focused totally on being successful. I can name five or six who operated with this motivation – and they all failed or were cursed. Remember the man who offered the apostles money for their spiritual gift. Maybe he intended to help people, but he wanted the credit instead of giving it to God. The apostles wisely said, in effect, “Go to Hell!”

Mother Theresa said she would not accept any honors because it took time away from her work. She did not say it was wrong for her work to be recognized, but only that it was a distraction for her. Caring for the dying was more important than receiving the Nobel Prize. She knew inner success.

Breaking Psychological Barriers

Roger Bannister did more than run the first four-minute mile in history. He broke a psychological barrier. Almost immediately others started doing what hadn’t been done before. They, too, broke the four minute barrier. Training didn’t do it. The time span between Bannister and the others was noticeably short.

Leaders need to recognize and break psychological barriers for their people.

One of the greatest I have seen is the power of the church to show people who believed they couldn’t find peace see what life can be when caught in the web of His grace. Christ broke the ultimate barrier: He rescued us from death and gave us entry into life eternal.

This week think about: 1) What is my greatest success recently? 2) How have I devised my own definition of success? 3) Who models psychological barrier breaking for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders need to recognize and break psychological barriers for their people.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Get dressed for service and keep your lamps burning;” (Luke 12:35 NET Bible)

Short Term Thinking

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Brenda’s Blog – June 2, 2015

“I know I will feel awful in the morning, but it just feels so good when I am doing it.”

The lady in the booth behind me told her friends of her screaming headache as I tried to eat my early breakfast. “You have been here before – why don’t you learn?” Her friends offered this question – exactly the same one I was thinking.

Her inane response didn’t shock me, but it set me on a thought trail as I ate my yummy meal.

“Delayed gratification” taught us to give up a short-term satisfaction for something much better in the future. Our parents preached the lessons of prioritization and values-based decision making. Certainly, we made some mistakes and grabbed for the low-hanging fruit at times, but we also learned the lesson of sacrificing instant pleasure for long term satisfaction.

Living in the moment is emphasized to the detriment of planning and good thinking. Having an attitude which appreciates what is going on right now is positive. Seeing and enjoying what is in front of us is helpful. Too many people wish away days by always wanting something better.

But focusing on the present to the neglect of long term planning is foolish and opens us to sad outcomes. I am convinced total attention to “right now wants” hinders my development.

“When you want to do something wrong and you think you have to do it, just tell your body you won’t do it.” I smiled as I listened to my son counsel his four year old son. Self-control is a critical element of successful living. Maturity teaches us to say no even when we desperately want to say yes. Thinking beyond the moment is a measure of emotional growth.

Extending our mental parameters helps us make better decisions. “What are the natural consequences of this action?” “How will this affect me tomorrow, next month, in five years?” “Who will be impacted by my decision?” When we stop to ask ourselves questions we enable better outcomes.

Short term thinking often has a high price tag. Consequences have a long reach.

Used or Using?

Weekly Thought – May 26, 2015

Fred regularly prayed to be “useful, helpful, and productive.” He strongly believed in the recognition of gifts and the purposeful employment of them. Two of the friends Fred mentions (Torrey Johnson and Ron Glosser) are in heaven with him. They each taught him much about the Lord’s service.

Our 2016 schedule for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is nearly complete. Three of the four schools have definite dates. We sincerely covet your prayer support. Thank you.

Used or Using?

I met Torrey Johnson when he first started Youth for Christ. At that time, I was asking certain people I highly admired for their autographed picture. I kept them in front of me, not as a sign of my relationship with them, but as a reminder of their character qualities. Torrey sent one back with the inscription, “To Fred, God’s man in God’s place.” I never felt I could hang it on the wall. I kept it in my desk drawer.

I was always condemned by how seldom I actually felt I was God’s man in God’s place. During the times I sensed He was using me, I felt very small yet very secure. When I was playing for my own team, I felt insecure and uncertain because I was depending on my own strength.

Recently I was talking with my dear friend Ron Glosser, former CEO of the Hershey Trust. He is a truly delightful person. I asked him the usual question, “How’s it going, Ron?” He answered in the best possible way that simple question could be answered when he said, “Fred, I feel God is using me.”

What a wonderful feeling to realize God is using us rather than our using God. So long as we keep that spiritual dimension in our leadership, people will see God in us.

Two great epitaphs come to mind. Steve Brown, great friend and President of Key Life Network, told me he found the small gravestone of Fanny Crosby, the hymn writer. She reportedly wrote 6,000 hymn lyrics. Her music continues to bless the Christian church after all these years. Blind from an early age, she often used words alluding to sight in her writings. Someone once said, “Aren’t you sad you can’t see?” Her answer: “If I had the choice I would choose blindness because that way the very first face I would ever see is that of Jesus!”

Fanny Crosby’s epitaph reads: “Aunt Fanny – she did what she could.” The other epitaph of note is that of great theologian A.W. Tozer which simply says, “He was a man of God.”

Editor’s note: Fred’s epitaph is only three words, but powerfully express his desire for usefulness: “He stretched others.”

This week think about: 1) When do I feel God using me? 2) What do I want on my gravestone? 3) Who represents Godly character in my life?

Words of Wisdom: “What a wonderful feeling to realize God is using us rather than our using God.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3: 5,6 NET Bible)

Never Say Die

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Brenda’s Blog – May 19, 2015

“Annie, you’ve been circling the drain for thirty years.”

My friend called to ask for prayer because her health is very tenuous. Even in the midst of her difficulties she maintains her sense of humor. She told me of calling some long time dear ones to report on her current condition. The husband without skipping a beat responded with those words.

She told me how true they were. And then she told me of God’s faithfulness and goodness. In spite of ill health and strained relationships, she saw the hand of a loving God moving in her life.

It made me think about others who face dire circumstances. My paternal grandmother reminded us regularly, “Remember, I am a heart patient.” She managed to circle the drain successfully into her nineties.

How does it affect my thinking if I know my time is limited? How does a doctor’s report of serious health problems change my priorities? What would I do if I knew the sands were flowing out of the hour glass?
Then I realize… my days are numbered; my existence is temporal; my hold on life is tentative. That should make me look at the ebbing water flow and want to be purposeful without being compulsive. Those recognitions should give me energy to face each day with planned gratitude.

In our teen years, life seems endless. Even in our twenties, thirties, and forties we write our life story with pencil, knowing there is an eraser on the end to give us a “do over.” However, somewhere in our fifties, sixties, and surely seventies we exchange that pencil for a pen with permanent ink. No more time to rectify mistakes quite as easily – and directions are more firmly fixed.

The water seems to move toward the drain with a bit more speed. However, as long as life lasts, we have reason to give thanks and to bring meaning to whatever we are given to do. Some of us seem to be issued shorter terms than others. Some, like my friend, appear to have abbreviated lives but continue on way past normal expectations. We do not know, but we do know the one who ultimately pulls the plug is our loving Father who brings us all the way home at just the right time.

Tongue Management

Weekly Thought – May 19, 2015

Fred thoroughly enjoyed challenges. He moved a refrigerator by himself once just to see if he could figure out the principles of leveraging. He accepted mental experiments, as well. In his later years when he was bed-bound, he stayed awake all night thinking of punch lines to jokes. At 2:00am, he finally fell asleep.

Your ongoing support and encouragement mean much to us. We gratefully accept the challenge to bring you bite-sized portions of Fred’s wisdom week by week. Please pray for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute teams as they begin their preparation for the 2016 schedule.

Tongue Management

Historians credit the discovery of fire as one of the most critical for civilization. Its positive properties are many, but unmanaged it is destructive. Scripture refers to the tongue as similar to fire. Management of this organ starts with the heart. Our speech comes from our inner thoughts and desires.
For the tongue to have freedom, the spirit must have purity. It must be purged of ego, greed, hostility. The poisonous word comes from the toxic heart.

Years ago I was asked to be interim music director for a small church in suburban Nashville. When I agreed, the pastor asked me to sign a covenant stating I would not criticize anyone while I was there. I agreed to do it almost as an experiment, for it was so contrary to my general disposition. After a few months I realized I never felt more community than I did there. As I look back, I realize it was the fact of refusing to say anything negative about anyone that made the difference. I could face any person there with complete freedom because I had never said a hurtful word about anyone.

The Wrong Question

How tired I get of hearing people question the goodness of God by saying, “How could a loving God let my dear one die with cancer?” Disease came with the fall, not the callousness of God. The question is, “What evil did we bring on ourselves when Adam and Eve sinned?” We live in a fallen world bearing the consequences of disease, disastrous choices, and disabling habits. To question the character of God because we either don’t understand or don’t accept is immature thinking. We can struggle with the outcomes, but we must correctly ask the questions. Too seldom do I hear Satan blamed. He has become the practitioner of transference, ascribing to God his nefarious activities. Out eternal enemy is Satan but he, like some of our political leaders, is a great spinmeister and gets us to perceive either God or other believers as our enemy. The question we must always be asking is, “How can we know God for who He is?”

This week think about: 1) How well do I manage my tongue? Do “tongues of fire” defeat me more than I like? 2) What would a week without a critical remark look like? 3) What am I learning about the nature of God right now?

Words of Wisdom: “For the tongue to have freedom, the spirit must have purity. It must be purged of ego, greed, hostility. The poisonous word comes from the toxic heart.”

Wisdom from the Word: “If someone thinks he is religious yet does not bridle his tongue, and so deceives his heart, his religion is futile.” (James 1:26 NET Bible)

Everyone is Motivated

Weekly Thought – May 12, 2015

Fred’s interest in how people think and act enabled him to serve his management consulting clients well. He operated intuitively, understanding the principles of body language, word choice, and behavior. He also studied human nature through reading, associations, and constant observation.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is an outreach of the BWF Project, Inc. which began as a way to “relevantly communicate the lifework of Fred Smith, Sr.” We now extended the work throughout the country by touching Christian college campuses with our focus on “stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.”

Everyone is Motivated

We use motivation as if it were only a forward motion at various speeds. This is a misunderstanding.
Those who are doing nothing are motivated to do nothing. Those who are active are motivated by activity. If we are to stimulate people with the desire to do nothing, we have to overcome the fundamental motivation to do nothing. Forward motion isn’t automatic.

I was told by a corporate president who manufactured railroad engines that the biggest problem was getting enough power to start the train rolling. Aircraft designers have to build in enough power to break the pull of gravity before they can ascend.

As leaders we need to recognize that inertia is motivation-based, not just the lack of motivation.

Creating Thirst

Dr. Howard Rome, the eminent psychiatrist, once told me: “Fred, you don’t understand motivation until you understand thirst. Motivation is satisfying a thirst.”

When Howard said that, I thought about the church. Many pastors are presenting water to non-thirsty members. The person who doesn’t want to understand scripture doesn’t listen, even to the very best teaching. Pastors who are thirsty to teach and preach the Bible must find listeners with the desire to hear. This may be one of the great frustrations in preaching.

In any situation, we must first recognize the lack of thirst and strive to create it before we can provide the satisfactory quenching they will gladly receive.

The Power of Passion

The respected church consultant, Lyle Schaller, has said, “If a pastor does not have a passion for the mission, he can forget the rest of leadership.” A passion to make a worthwhile difference is indispensable to effectiveness. Passion and vision need to work together. Passion energizes vision, and vision disciplines the passion. The clearer the vision, the greater the passion.

This week think about: 1) How clear is my vision? 2) What motivates me – to activity and inactivity? 3) When do I operate most effectively within my passion?

Words of Wisdom: “The clearer the vision, the greater the passion.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.” (Matthew 5:6 NET Bible)

Unbounded Creativity

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Brenda’s Blog – May 5, 2015

“Every child is an artist.” – Pablo Picasso

These words are painted on the wall above my Illinois grandchildren’s play area. It stops me for a moment each time I look at it.

What happens between childhood and adulthood? Where does the unbounded creativity go? When do we become self-conscious about our artistic efforts?

My pastor’s wife started a crafting group and calls it “A Beautiful Mess.” Don’t you love that? This last week they painted, but not without some trepidation. “What if I can’t do it? What if mine looks really bad? What if I don’t have any talent?” Melissa emphasized the gifts of a God whose magnificent artistry is seen throughout our world. She encouraged freedom in expressing the joyfulness of using brushes and paint.

During the last week my friend and co-worker Pat Walters and I traveled throughout the states of Kentucky and Tennessee. Over and over we oohed and aahed at the touch of God’s hand. We are blessed to be sons and daughters of a God who builds into us the ability to respond to the beauty of His creation.

How can we take down the walls which cause us to demand perfection in our efforts? How can we deny self-consciousness the power to inhibit our creativity? How can we reclaim the joy of childhood?

Being grown-up doesn’t mean giving up the freedoms which make childhood so precious. Our spirits should still dance, sing, and paint. Let’s rediscover the “child within” who is truly an artist. Let’s open our hearts with abandon and wonderfully enjoy the life God has so graciously given.

Question for you: “If no one were watching, what would your child love to do?” Second question: “What keeps you from doing it?”

Rejoice in being the child of God!

A Real Fire

Weekly Thought – May 5, 2015

Fred and Mary Alice married in June, 1937. Without money, a honeymoon was impossible. They boarded a trolley in downtown Nashville, rode to a Krystal burger restaurant and shared a slider, the little bite-sized menu item. In some ways, his mini-essays are wisdom sliders – bite-sized servings of thought.

A Real Fire

A.W. Tozer remarked that his flame might be small but it was real. It is important that the fire be authentic. One can start a forest fire with a single match, but can’t light a bonfire with a poster of a match, no matter how blazing the flame. A picture of a blowtorch remains a picture. The counterfeit life becomes old but the zeal of the dedicated life cannot be quenched.

Healthy Attrition

A certain attrition rate in leadership is healthy. The armed services actually look for a wash-out percentage… the Army has seven; the Marines have fourteen and it is rumored some drill sergeants think it should be as much as twenty-five percent!

We don’t focus on disqualifying people, but we should not keep people in our organizations who self-disqualify either by lack of character or gifts.

Making people aware of their shortcomings isn’t easy, but is crucial. I say this knowing how painful discouragement can be. It happened to me. I started out in voice lessons, hoping for an operatic career. Fortunately, I had an honest teacher. One morning after a lesson he said, “Fred, you have everything to be a successful vocal artist. You work harder than any of my other students; you have a great desire to sing well. You are only lacking one thing – talent. You are sacrificing to study with me. You can’t make it professionally, so don’t waste your life trying.”

He was so right and so courageous. He blessed me with his honesty. I went into business where I was talented.

Helping someone discern their gifts is one of the great joys. Assisting men and women to exit as well as enter careers is an act of wisdom.

Seminaries should discourage poor leaders before they assume pastoral positions and demonstrate their inabilities. Always remember what Spurgeon told his young preaching students: “Young man, if you can’t speak, you weren’t called to preach.” Certainly God can develop skills that are immature, but rarely does He call us to work for which He doesn’t gift us.

This week think about: 1) Who helped me recognize my strengths? 2) Where am I trying to follow a dream that may not be mine? 3) How real is my fire?

Words of Wisdom: “We don’t focus on disqualifying people, but we should not keep people in our organizations who self-disqualify either by lack of character or gifts.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29 NET Bible)

Political Positioning

Weekly Thought – April 28, 2015

Fred enjoyed taking an idea and chasing it down. As we enter into his “blogosphere” with his mini-essays, we get a glimpse of this mental exercise. Golf was one of his great loves, so inspiration from this sport is very natural.

We appreciate all who are part of the BWF community. Your interest, your encouragement, and your support are gratefully received.

Political Positioning

To place an individual in a position outside his gift for political purposes is leadership prostitution.
God has endowed each person with gift that will glorify Himself. When we use the person for our own political security without regard for their gifting we are taking something that should be honoring God and taking it for our own benefit.

I refuse to work outside my gift even though I have received a great deal of pressure to assume work expectations out of loyalty to my friend, the leader.

I have listened to many Sunday School teachers who definitely lacked the gift of teaching. They were organizational loyalists and caved into the pleadings of a friend who needed to fill the teaching roster. Sadly, even religious associations promote some to leadership out of expediency or “they deserved it” thinking. When they have none of the gifts necessary they either flail or fail. Or, they carry the title and someone else does the work. (more…)

Never Alone

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Brenda’s Blog – April 20, 2015

“Are your Mommy and Daddy in heaven? Are you all by yourself?”

Granddaughter Emma’s sweet questions were spoken with genuine concern. She was most interested to know why I didn’t have parents. As we talked about it, she asked “Did Jesus hold your Mommy’s hand when she went to heaven?”

Yes, I am the eldest in my line. No, I do not have living parents. But I am not alone. I have a Father who promised never to leave me.

Charles Stanley’s birth father died when he was just months old. He recognized as an older adult he had never called anyone “Dad,” or “Father.” Having grown up with a Dad who loved me through all the ups and downs, Stanley’s statement touched my heart. It gives me encouragement to know as a believer in Jesus Christ, Dr. Stanley had the privilege of calling the God of creation Abba which is translated Daddy.

Most of my friends have parents in heaven. The common denominator is a sense of loss combined with great appreciation. We laugh as we find ourselves saying and doing things which remind us of them. We approach decisions hearing their counsel. We honor their memories by telling their stories and building on their legacies. The journey from earth to heaven becomes shorter and we focus on the eternal more than the temporal.

Someday Emma will have a Gram who is taken by Jesus into heaven. I hope she remembers someone who trusted Jesus day by day, and loved her unconditionally. I hope she has stories of time spent building a relationship which will last for her lifetime. Most of all, I want her to know she is the daughter of a King who will never leave her or forsake her. She is His precious princess.

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