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  • Articles posted by mandate (Page 87)

Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 3)

Weekly Thought – March 3, 2015

Fred was recognized as an outstanding speaker early in his career. His first major address was in Los Angeles and received coverage by the L.A. Times. This was only his second public speech. But his years of applied thinking along with his God-given communication abilities prepared him for this opportunity. This week we continue with points 5, 6, and 7 of his outstanding article on speaking.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is making plans for 2016 and 2017. We will be returning to schools in Florida and Kentucky. Please join us as we pray for God’s leading. Thank you for enabling us to continue the work of BWF and BWFLI.

Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 3)

A) Be Personal. Television has made our communications focus on the personality of the speaker. This creates the feeling of actually knowing each other. The best are those who make the audience feel like you would want to know them. There should be something in ever communication involving the audience individually. Billy Graham accomplishes this one-on-one by saying, “You are not here by accident. You are here by the will of God. This message is for you.” Zig Ziglar does this by asking questions early in his presentation and getting individuals to raise their hands. I sometimes stop at a controversial point and voice the question I have raised in the minds of the audience. They feel I know how they feel. Eye contact helps in developing the personal relationship. Try to get direct eye contact with as many individuals as possible without seeming obvious. But don’t focus too long on any one person because it feels invasive.

B) Be Enjoyable. Take the message(but not yourself) seriously. Let the people join in the enjoyment with you. No matter how heavy the material, it can be made enjoyable by a master communicator. The information may be new, vital, useful, even humorous at times. When it is profitable to the audience, it is enjoyable. (more…)

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Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 2)

Weekly Thought – February 24, 2015

Fred was a lifelong learner. He believed in preparation. The words of Paul to Timothy to “study to show yourself approved…” were burned into his value system. He was unable to further his formal education after high school but never allowed that to be a limitation to his studies.

This Weekly Thought is part two of the Speaking series.

We want you to know how grateful we are for your continued words of encouragement and support.

Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 2)

A) Be Believable. Believe the messenger and it’s easier to believe the message. Christ was believable because He spoke with authority, “not as the scribes,” who were professional quoters. Christ personified His message. I cannot teach effectively anything I don’t personify (or at least am trying to personify).

A truth that is not believed is useless. Ask yourself, “Can I make this truth believable?” If not, then wait to express it until you can. When Father Hesberg became President of Notre Dame, his predecessor Father Cavanaugh gave him this injunction: “Be right. Be humble. Be human.” This is the heart of believability.

Simplicity lends itself to credibility. General Colin Powell said, “Great leaders are simplifiers.” Cleverness, on the other hand, creates doubt. (more…)

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Words That Last

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Brenda’s Blog – February 24, 2015

“Thank you for loving us and being so kind to us.”

Thirty-six hours later my 94 year old friend unexpectedly died. Those were the last words I heard from him.

Have you ever considered your final expression? Would you want it to be an affirmation of your faith? How about a message of love to your family?

Jack didn’t have time to craft final words for he fell into unconsciousness never waking up until he opened his eyes seeing the face of Jesus. He lived with words of blessing on his lips. He lived prepared.

What would a lifestyle of readiness look like? Would our relationships benefit from more “I love you” and less “I told you so.”

Years ago an older woman came by my house. Noticing the unfolded laundry on the dining room table, the dishes in the sink, and the toddlers wanting my attention, she offered this advice: “Always leave your house dying ready.” “What?” “If you were to leave the house like this and not make it back, all the sweet church ladies would come in. They would offer condolences adding, “Bless her heart – she tried her best but her house was certainly a mess.” I appreciated her words, but at that point a helping hand with the children would have been much more helpful!

I cannot say my house is always dying ready, but I think about it every time I walk out the door.

Perhaps our relationships should be dying ready. As we leave each other, words of encouragement should be the last ones they hear. At my age, many of my friends enjoy marriages of 50 and 60 years. One of the common denominators is the “say I love you when we leave” rule. The heart is softened when these words cross the lips.

Speaking life and blessing to one another demonstrates the life of Christ. Being ready for our last words to be strengtheners emanates from the Spirit. Creating a community of encouragement flows from our Father God. What a privilege!

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Imperatives for Effective Speaking (Part 1)

Weekly Thought – February 17, 2015

Fred’s article on Speaking is a classic example of his clear thinking. He loved taking a big subject and breaking it down into manageable bites. This week we present principles one and two: 1) Prepare your attitude and 2) Prepare your content.

Thank you for helping us continue stretching and blessing through the outreach of BWF.

Imperatives for Effective Speaking (Part 1)

A. Prepare Your Attitude – Speaking starts with attitude – attitude colors every word, every gesture, and body movement. My checklist runs like this: 1) Do I feel obligated to speak or privileged? 2) Am I prepared, therefore confident? 3) Do I know what is expected of me? 4) Do I know I expect to accomplish? 5) Am I sure of my opening so I won’t be tentative or negative? 6) Do I like the people I’ll be speaking to?

All these affect the attitude. Anyone who feels the audience is fortunate in having them speak is prostituting the opportunity.

B. Prepare the Content – A speaker’s self-respect and sense of responsibility should start with content. If there is no content, there is no reason to speak. The best communication comes out of the overflow. There should always be that feeling that there is so much more in the spring from which this talk flowed.

It is insulting to hear a speaker who has nothing to say but insists on saying it anyway. In Texas we say he is “all hat and no cattle.”

Whenever I begin thinking of the honor of having been asked, I immediately shift to the responsibility of being asked – a responsibility that demands preparation. Each occasion should have its own special preparation. Speech notes, like bread, soon get stale. In each preparation there must be the yeast of newly discovered truth: exciting, new, and expanded insights along with practical applications. (more…)

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The Privilege of Participation

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Brenda’s Blog – February 10, 2015

“My entire life is ‘have to.’”

Steve Martin’s woeful response in Parenthood struck a chord with me. For the last few years I have worked on a discipline: changing my language replacing have-to with get-to. It is so easy to slip into the habit of thinking life falls into have-to categories: I have to get to church; I have to pick up the grandkids; I have to eat dinner. Funny, I don’t think I ever say, “I have to eat some chocolate!”

When I realized how negative this sounded to myself and to others, I began the exercise of translating my language to match my heart’s feeling. I love to go to church; I adore picking up the grandkids; and nobody likes dinner more than I do. So how did I fall into such a sloppy pattern?

I think I gave into the “oh, how busy I am” lifestyle. I immersed myself in the multitasking style. When that happens, good things become duties. How sad!

Then I stepped back and looked at the privilege of being a part of others’ lives. I looked at the joy of participating in my life. So, I shook my finger at myself and did some self talk arriving at this conclusion: “Life is a precious privilege and I am thankful for all I get to do.”

Beverly Sills, the world-renown operatic soprano, was once at a pre-concert cocktail party. She prepared to leave saying, “I have to go sing at the Met so I will leave you all.” Then she stopped almost mid-sentence correcting herself. “NO, I GET to sing at the Met.” Big difference, isn’t it?

As leaders of families, ministries, companies, and communities, we often make to-do lists that devolve into have-to lists. We must continually train our minds and hearts to know these are opportunities granted to us as blessings.

I want to be a get-to person, don’t you?

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Effective Speaking – Introduction

Weekly Thought – February 10, 2015

Fred’s speaking abilities gave him opportunities throughout his life. Even in his last years of immobility groups gathered to hear what him. On Saturdays they encircled him in what affectionately became known as “Fred in the Bed.” His last session was less than two weeks before his death.

We thank you for the gracious support through prayer, financial gifts, and words. We want to continue sharing Fred’s wisdom. And, as we grow the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute, our goal is to “stretch and bless the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.”

Fred’s article on Imperatives in Effective Speaking will be excerpted over the next five weeks in a series of Weekly Thoughts. Today’s is an overview of the points. Build a file for these excerpts – they are keepers.

Effective Speaking – Introduction

Speaking to an audience is an awesome responsibility. When you speak to a thousand listeners for thirty minutes you have used five hundred hours of human life.

Only a few speakers are great, but many could be better by recognizing both the science and art of speaking. Like great musicians, there must first be a natural talent, then years and years of coaching and practice to achieve the art. (more…)

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Older but Never Old

Weekly Thought – February 3, 2015

Fred thought much about aging. One of his best received and best known articles for Leadership Journal carried the title, “Older, but Never Old.” He lived just like that. Some of his thoughts were encapsulated dynamite. This week features many of them.

Older but Never Old

1) I’m for aging – slowly, if you please. When I asked my friend what period of life he would have liked to live in he said, “As far in the future as possible!”
2) I started aging the day I was born….on the back of my birth certificate is my death certificate.
3) Memory is the way we keep in touch with our past, but it should not be the way we keep living in the present. Joining the “used-to club” is counter productive.
4) Activity helps the mind forget what’s going on with the body. There is nothing wrong with me that a little excitement won’t cure.
5) Start the aging process early – avoid surprises through preparation financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and especially relationally. Don’t make a junkyard out of your old age.
6) Life is divided into two groups: those who are aging and those who are not. Those who are aging are breathing.
7) Health has four elements: mobility, energy, lack of pain, and ability to accommodate suffering.
8) As we age we become mutual mentors with our children.
9) Make a list of annoying “old people” habits while still young and read it to as you age. Make peace with physical limitations and show grace to others.
10) Finish well by focusing on the right things. Forget the fading: looks, power, position and accent the forever: relationships, spiritual, contribution. (more…)

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Loving God

Weekly Thought – January 27, 2015

Fred read and thought about theology, philosophy, and science. He sought to know God, not just know about Him. No one could put him in a doctrinal box because he constantly thought about the relationship, not the rules.

This excerpt from a letter to a theologian friend may be a bit controversial. And, he is not here to defend his thinking, but it is a good delineation of his theological processing.

Thank you for supporting our work. An email to us started out: “I look forward to every Tuesday… ” This is a work of love – for Fred and for our Father God.

Loving God

Oswald Chambers and St. Augustine are two men whose opinions I value highly. As you know, Chambers said we are to live our life with the expressed intent of doing God’s will, letting Him stop us if we are straying from the path. We should not spend our time searching, but rather living knowing He will direct and correct when needed.

St. Augustine said maturely and simply: “Love God and do what you will.”

God says, “Seek my face.” This means an eye to eye relationship. We are told we do all things through Christ, not through a plan. We should never substitute guidance for the Guide. We cannot prove God exists by the guidance. It is God alone in silence or in revelation. (more…)

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Eyes Wide Open

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Brenda’s Blog – January 27, 2015

“God is a really good painter.”

My four year old grandson stared out the window at the redness. The Christmas Eve sky excited us. Will’s spontaneous response spoke for all.

That moment taught me much about recognizing the beauties of our God. How good it would be to stop and acknowledge His nature. Think of the times when He is kind beyond measure. Or, the days when His faithfulness defies description.
Life is enriched by stopping to say thanks. Seeing His hand in our daily activity makes Him so much more real. We pray for His presence yet ignore His day by day activity. What if we practiced the awareness of His touch? What if we paused to express awe?

Life’s details blur into a mish-mash of prioritized to do lists. The junk prevents us from seeing the sweetnesses He gives us.

Years ago I planted wild flowers which quickly became lunch for my neighborhood’s deer population. Thinking the money was wasted and the effort fruitless, I put it out of my mind. In the spring a few (very few) purple blooms appeared. I grew so accustomed to the yard filled with leaves, pine needles, and dirt I almost missed the wee blossoms. I intentionally stopped one day, stooped down, and spoke words of appreciation for those which made it through deer season and the cold winter. I saw them.

Each day God blooms in our world, demonstrating His qualities. How good it would be to stop and purposefully thank Him. A heart of gratitude for a great God enlarges our capacity for thankfulness. Practicing the “God sighting” game gives a lilt to life that is impossible to duplicate.

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God’s Will – God’s Way

Weekly Thought – January 20, 2015

Fred enjoyed letter writing. His mentor, Maxey Jarman, stressed the value of thought clarification which comes as ideas are put on paper. One of his spiritual heroes was the Apostle Paul who, like Fred, wrote letters. Often he wrote to expand on a conversation or try out concepts with trusted friends. This Thought is excerpted from a letter sent to a long-time friend with whom he corresponded regularly. The topic is “the will of God.”

Fred used the “key log” as an illustration of problem solving. His close and respected friend Randon A. Samelson authored a new book titled Breakthrough: Unleashing the Power Of A Proven Plan. His dedication to Fred acknowledges him as a mentor and friend. His description of the key log principle will help all leaders. The book will be available through Amazon.com in two weeks.

God’s Will – God’s Way

Life is not all mystical even though there is a mystical quality to all life. There is far less mystery in the things that happen to us as members of the human race following the natural living processes from birth to death. A vast majority of the experiences we have are common to the human race.

Likewise, cause and effect are elements natural and predictable. It is immature to ignore the commonality of these principles and attribute them all to some super mystical, mysterious happening.

Having said that, I want you to understand I accept the spiritual qualities of life as being mystical. The confluence of natural events with the supernatural power of God is more than we can fully comprehend. I do not purport to understand. I believe it by faith and spend very little time trying to adopt some intellectual position to defend it. I am not denying the role of apologetics, but I personally hold faith positions in a category not requiring defense. (more…)

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