Uncovering the Meaning

Weekly Thought – July 26, 2016

Fred’s ability to distill information into memorable wisdom bites. Most people who knew him quickly remember beneficial phrases. He called them “one-liners.” We now call them “Fred Saids.” This week’s thought features one of those well-known pithy statements: ritual versus reality.

Uncovering the Meaning

I recently had an interesting discussion about ritual versus reality, recognizing ritual was originally established to perpetuate reality. However, we humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away. Theologically, this may be a subtle attempt on our part to put ourselves in control of what is actually divine.

When we do this, we feel free to augment the ritual to please ourselves. This way we can make the ritual so elaborate that it becomes what we would want it to be if we were God… not bearing much resemblance to the sandals and seamless robe exemplified by Jesus.

Often I have asked husbands if they still kiss their wives as they leave for work. Almost indignantly, they will say “yes, of course.” I usually then ask them if they have ever considered the difference between the first kiss on the honeymoon, and the one they now give each morning. The first one was probably a pretty mushy one – even a double dip! The husband might have even thought about calling in sick! Now his wife gets a little peck as he hurries through the door on the way to the car. Occasionally, they may even miss, but at least they tried – and the ritual goes on, while the reality suffers.

Then we ask: “Should vacant ritual be discarded?” Not at all. We need, instead, to return the reality to the ritual.

When I was chairman of the Youth for Christ board I asked a young man why they were trying to destroy the traditions of the church with contemporary music and casual dress. He replied, “Mr. Smith, we are not trying to destroy the traditions of the faith, but we’re not willing to perpetuate them without the experience that created them.”

Excellent answer and well said. Let’s uncover the ritual to discover the reality.

This week think about: 1) What rituals have I bought into and lost the reality? 2) How can I bring more meaning to my daily activities? 3) When does status quo hinder fellowship?

Words of Wisdom: “We humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be careful not to allow anyone to captivate you through an empty, deceitful philosophy that is according to human traditions and the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:8 NET Bible)

Heroes Help

Weekly Thought – July 19, 2016

Fred’s book You and Your Network outlined 8 categories which belong in your web of associations which form a healthy life. One of them is “heroes.” He frequently asked people about their heroes for he believed the answer gave him great insight. Fred once read that our heroes at age 10 strongly influence our adulthood.

Support for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is greatly appreciated. In these times of confusion and chaos the wisdom of older men and women in the lives of our Christian college students creates stability. Thank you for joining with us in prayer and financial aid.

Heroes Help

Thomas Carlyle said, “Society is founded on hero worship.” History is the story of the impact of great men and women. They shaped their times for good.

But occasionally we need to stop saying great things about our heroes and ask what they would say about us. They can become the verbs in our lives.

Heroes must survive for a long time as examples of trustworthy values, in season, and out. It is not just being a winner today that creates a hero. The apostle Paul deserves hero status. Conversely, I know of very few men who emulate Nero. Today we name our children Paul and our dogs Nero.

Generally, heroes are from the past in order to allow history to study their lives and make sure they stand up to the test of time. Excellent heroes can be said to “finish well.”

We should know how to make ourselves small by comparison to our heroes. By humbling ourselves in this positive, healthy, way we see ourselves in light of the values we inherit from our heroes and are able to honestly assess whether we’re progressing in virtue. It is this discipline that always inspires and makes room for growth.

In “A Psalm of Life,” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime and, departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time.” Our daughter, Brenda, knew how I enjoyed these lines. On my study wall is a framed board covered with sand and three small footprints – those of her children then ages one, three, and four. In her quiet, persuasive way she was reminding me my grandchildren’s footsteps are walking somewhat behind my own.

In 2004, my death was momentarily anticipated. In my hospital bed I prayed for my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, hoping they would see in me a man of faith. Today in 2006 I still pray to be a faithful model. Heroes don’t have to be famous – they only have to be heroic.

Whose footsteps are you following?

This week think about: 1) Who was my hero at age 10? 2) How do I look for heroes? 3) What heroic qualities am I hoping to instill in others?

Words of Wisdom: “Whose footsteps are you following?”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1 NET Bible)

Powerful Triad

Weekly Thought – July 12, 2016

Fred appreciated William Barclay. He taught a very fine Sunday School lesson Barclay wrote. Fred’s love of principles allowed him to take the phrases and then apply current applications. His ability to see truth and create ways to pass it on energized him.

Continue praying for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute as the Fall events come quickly. Lift up Asbury University and Palm Beach Atlantic University – our teams, their faculty, staff, and students. We go in the name of Jesus and eagerly anticipate the work He gives us to do.

Powerful Triad

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our leisure, pleasure; in our study, wisdom; and in our love, loyalty.” Years ago while reading, I discovered William Barclay’s prayer. I was so impressed with the balance of life he described that I easily memorized it. Through the years I have repeated it to myself many times and twice I have taught it as a Sunday School lesson. The first time I only taught the four requests. Later, I realized I had missed the significance of the three opening words.

“Lord” – One of the major theological questions today is whether Christ can be Savior without being Lord. George Gallup did a survey among the “born again” and found that only 10 percent considered their faith in daily decision making. He wrote a book titled The Saints Among Us, indicating that 90 percent of us are nominal Christians.

“Grant” – This reminds us all good and perfect gifts come from above. We have no demands on God, only requests. Again, the Bible tells us we have nothing but what we have received of God.

“Us” – This reminds us Christianity is a community, a Body, a family. It is not just an individual experience. It is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself. It is like the redwood that grows in a cluster with all of the roots supporting the others.

Gert Behanna was born and raised in the old Waldorf Astoria amid amazing wealth. After spending much of her life wedded to a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, she became a Christian. When she prayed “Our Father” she realized she was a member of a family and gave much of her wealth to needy Christians whom she considered brothers and sisters.

“Lord, grant us…” A triad of infinite significance.

This week consider: 1) How can I apply that triad in my life this week? 2) What is God doing in me that shows me who He is? 3) Where am I plugged into the community of faith?

Words of Wisdom: “Again, the Bible tells us we have nothing but what we have received of God.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For who concedes you any superiority? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you received it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (1 Corinthians 4:7 NET Bible)

Leadership Cleanliness

Brenda’s Blog – July 12, 2016

“Leaders are not Litterers”

The billboard in Semmes, AL promoted a clean environment. A Baptist with a love for alliteration must have developed the campaign!

I started thinking about the sentiment. Other than picking up casually tossed candy wrappers, and correctly depositing empty soda cans, what is it about leadership that creates a non-litterer?

Then, I started down my usual rabbit trails. What kinds of litter do leaders clean up? How about mental junk? “Garbage in, garbage out” is an axiom leaders learn well. The well-disciplined mind keeps unworthy distractions at bay.

How about time wasters? Strong leaders know how to use bits of time to their advantage and eliminate the little time grabbers that beg for five minutes and end up taking thirty. Stewardship of time, as well as treasure, is important.

Then I thought about the expectations of others which put demands on our lives. How often we find ourselves littered with “shoulds and woulds” that are not ours at all – but belong to others. This trash hangs around us bogging us down and often keeping us from winning the race.

Finally, I thought about the wasted emotions of bitterness, unforgiveness, and jealousy. How foolish to clutter our minds and hearts with senseless and unhealthy emotions. How can we run free with baggage from the past hanging from arms and legs?

This exercise got me into Mobile where I immediately got lost (again), so my attention was diverted to finding Interstate 10. The next time I am through Semmes I will notice the immaculate streets and rejoice in the leadership quotient of that lovely town.

Protected By Love

Weekly Thought – July 5, 2016

Fred liked to quote C. S. Lewis’ definition of love: wanting the best for another. He recognized the sacrificial nature when making this decision. He used to say he wasn’t very “oooky gooky” (yes, believe it or not – he used those words) about feelings, but he was outstanding in showing love.

Please continue to pray for our Christian colleges and universities. They are under tremendous pressure to step away from foundational beliefs. Hold them up! And as BWFLI plans for the fall events, your prayer support is greatly appreciated.

Protected By Love

I served on a corporate board with a strong Christian lady who testified she grew up with friends who lived “on the wild side.” Her sister advised her to avoid dangerous behavior, fearing what her father would do to her. She responded, “I am not choosing against immorality because I’m afraid of what he will do to me. But I am choosing because of what it would do to him. I know he truly loves me.”

Another friend told how her mother died when she was a young child. Her relatives told her how much her mother regretted that she wouldn’t live to see her daughter grow up. They also told her that her mother lived in heaven and could see everything she did. Not wanting to disappoint her mother, this woman lived an almost exemplary life. She feared not living up to her mother’s love. Children who feel loved are less likely to get into serious trouble.

Couples living together without marriage will say, “It’s nobody’s business what two consenting adults do.” This might be true if no one else loved either one of them, but that is rarely the case. Such couples are not living up to the responsibility of being loved.

I once went to Europe with a nonbelieving business associate I respected to be a philanderer. But during the entire trip he only talked of his wife and their love for each other After attending a concert at La Scala, his only remark was, “I wish she were here.” His response to her love became his strength.

I have observed that those individuals who feel Christ’s love are eager to obey His commandments. In Scripture it says, “If you love me, you will obey my commandments.” It isn’t in obedience that we know Him but we observe His commandments because we know Him and His love. It is our joy.

This week think about: 1) What does being love mean to me? 2) How do I handle the responsibility of being loved? 3) Who needs to know I love them?

Words of Wisdom: “His response to her love became his strength.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this is the gospel message that you have heard from the beginning: that we should love one another.” (1 John 3:11 NET Bible)

The Real Thing

Weekly Thought – June 28, 2016

Fred appreciated his Father’s devotion to the Word and God’s people. During the depression out of work men would come to the back door of the parsonage asking for scraps of food or other handouts. Despite the fact my grandmother was struggling to feed the seven Smiths, Fred’s dad always found something to share – a grace gift. At this time when we celebrate our country’s freedom, let’s give thanks for our freedom in Christ.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is halfway through its 2016 schedule with two more schools in the fall. Please continue to lift up team members, Asbury University, and Palm Beach Atlantic University. God is on the move and BWFLI wants to be right there!

The Real Thing

Grace was genuine, real, personal and palpable to the great saints. Brother Lawrence, Frank Laubach, Francois Fenelon – these Christian mystics never doubted they were the constant recipients of God’s amazing grace. Grace was a practical part of their everyday lives.

For example, Brother Lawrence said that when he made a mistake, he didn’t spend any time thinking about it – he just confessed it, and moved on. Before I read that, I had been trapped by guilt – immediate grace was too good to be true, I thought. Brother Lawrence’s experience released me and set me free.

Nevertheless, legalism appeals to our common sense, and reasoning. I find it necessary to remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my guilt lets me know God’s grace. By refusing grace, we play God and discipline ourselves. We view events as punishments. We see correction coming when in reality, it isn’t correction at all – it is just a consequence. We too often try to read into our circumstances a sense of God’s judgment.

Why? Because we feel we deserve judgment rather than grace. Grace brings freedom. If only we could accept grace fully, then we, like Brother Lawrence, could have the freedom to admit failure and move on. Since grace cannot be deserved, why should I feel others are more worthy of it than I am? Or why should I feel they are less worthy?

Thinking we can be mature in Christ apart from grace is nothing more than fooling ourselves.

The Bible tells me we should not think too highly of ourselves, but it doesn’t advocate “worm thinking” either. We are objects of grace, and grace is a faith gift coming from and through the Father of light.

This week think about: 1) How full of grace am I? 2) What does it mean to me to be free in Christ? 3) What keeps me in bondage?

Words of Wisdom: “Thinking we can be mature in Christ apart from grace is nothing more than fooling ourselves.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is present, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3: 17 NET Bible)

Inside Out

Brenda’s Blog – June 28, 2016

“This painting is a supreme statement on interiority.”

The Edward Hopper work, New York Movie, depicts a woman standing in the stairwell to the theater as the audience is seated watching the film. As in all his work, there is much darkness with a figure popping out as if a spotlight were focused on them. The mood he creates represents the Depression Era in America.

As I first read the commentary I stumbled over the word “interiority.” Then it totally intrigued me. What would be a supreme statement of my own interiority? Not my inferiority, but interiority. What colors would be used to express the inside of me? How about you?

What description of your internal makeup would you want to give to the world? How would it match with the external?
My Dad taught us to look at photographs and study the symmetry (or lack of) in a face. He was convinced when there is discontinuity inside the face reveals the conflict. I know there are exceptions, but it is an interesting exercise. Who we are inside eventually shows up, doesn’t it? The Bible tells us our actions have a direct correlation to the condition of our heart.

I recently asked a friend, “How are you?” She answered, “That is too general a question for all that is going on in my life. Ask something more specific?” I thought and then asked, “Where is your peace?” I was asking about her interiority.

A recent widow at church answered the “how are you?” question with a nod and the normal, “fine.” Then she looked up and said, “Not really fine, but doing as well as possible.” She is on the way to healing because she is in touch with her emotions and is willing to express them.

Hopper captured the drama of interiority. We must avoid putting on a brave face when war is waging inside. And, we must help each other by being trustworthy and true friends. We can work for an inside and outside in sync with one another.

Footprints

Weekly Thought – June 21, 2016

Fred’s legacy of wisdom continues through the influence of those he touched. One of his mentors Dr. Julian Gumperz died and was written up in the New York Times. The headline announced the passing of a man’s influence. Fred commented that the lifework and impact of Dr. Gumperz would live in him. A positive legacy is the true residual of a life well-lived.

Footprints

Lately I have been giving a great deal of thought to the difference between legacy and inheritance. It seems many of my friends are thinking about ways to leave money to their family members. Although this is admirable, I prefer to think about leaving a legacy. Legacy encompasses how to live and how to die- the passing on of one’s core values. My legacy will be my personal answer to the question: “What has been the theme of my life?”

While speaking in Las Vegas years ago I caught entertainer Ray Bolger’s act. I wanted to get the sense of who he was before I introduced him the next day at the conference. The limber-limbed dancer is best known for his role as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.
In his show he performed the signature steps of the dance greats who preceded him including Bill “Bojangles” Robinson, and Fred Astaire. His message was that they left something on the floor when they no longer danced. The close of the show was a sole spotlight focused on a stool in center stage. On it sat Bolger’s dance shoes, making the tacit expression that he, too, wanted to “leave it on the floor.”

We must carefully consider what legacy we are leaving. I am convinced inheritances often split families while legacies bond them. How many times have you seen families broken apart over money? The passing of the torch should not ignite a family fire.

It is crucial to think about the imprint we are making. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote about “leaving footprints on the sands of time.” Steve Green, the Christian musician, sings about the hope that “those who come behind us find us faithful.”

The mark we make is the rent we pay for the space we occupy on earth. Our legacy remains as long as our influence lives. It is our responsibility to make sure it is a good one. It is my hope to leave meaning more than money.

This week think about: 1) If I died today, what would be my legacy? 2) What steps am I taking today to build a legacy of meaning and faithfulness? 3) How can I communicate my life themes to others?

Words of Wisdom: “The passing of the torch should not ignite a family fire.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And entrust what you heard me say in the presence of many others as witnesses to faithful people who will be competent to teach others as well.” (2 Timothy 2:2 NET Bible)

Riding Free

Brenda’s Blog – June 14, 2016

“Hey, you there, in the cage!”

The billboard on Interstate 75 driving down toward Tampa caught my eye. I laughed out loud as I thought about it.

The Harley-Davidson ad certainly appeals to the secret biker in all of us. Yes, even this 70-something grandmother of nine! In fact, years ago I taped a picture of a curvy Colorado mountain road on my mirror and declared it to be my dream trip – on three wheels (I was never going to get down to two… )

Next step – taking the motorcycle license class. The first day we studied the rules of the road. Of course, I got the highest mark in the class. I was on the way to the Rocky Mountains. THEN the actual riding came. The moment the instructor asked me to surrender the bike and leave the class I knew I was never going to be cage free.

Unrealized dreams become fodder for funny stories.

We can look at that billboard in two ways. We absolutely make choices which put us in cages. Those limit our joy, our freedom, and our fulfillment. But alternatively, cages keep us from hazardous environments. For example, when shark-hunters explore their habitat they descend safely ensconced in wire cages – feeling grateful for the protection.

What cages do you remember? Which ones inhibited you? Which ones gave you safety? And what unrealized dreams now give you pause and a smile? Our stories make us real – let’s really always recall them. And ride free!

Mind-full-ness

Weekly Thought – June 14, 2016

Fred and Mary Alice were married on June 25, 1937. Although they met in 7th grade English class, they didn’t date until they graduated from Hume Fogg High School in Nashville, TN. She worked at S.H. Kress at the candy counter. Fred saved up his money, bought a few pieces of sweets, stood and talked with her regularly. At age 21 they married. Until her death in 2004 they remained faithful and true.

BWFLI was an idea which developed from one event to over a dozen. Thanks for standing with us.

Mind-full-ness

I asked the Senior Vice President of a billion dollar oil company: “John, what do you know now that you wish you had known when you got out of school?”

Very quickly he responded, “Fred, I wish I had had the humility of an open mind.” Have you ever tried to talk with someone whose mind was tightly closed because they thought they had all the ideas of value?

A common denominator I have discovered among eager learners is that they are not far from a paper and pen (or the modern equivalent). Watch for this! Engage highly energetic, ambitious achievers in a stimulating conversation, and suddenly you will see them record an idea that has crossed their mind. Note-taking achievers can throw away their recorded ideas later if they don’t want them (and smart folks do evaluate and discard bad ideas). But, if they want to remember an idea and haven’t jotted it down, how can they recapture it? Howard Hendricks, distinguished professor at Dallas Theological Seminary has trained thousands of men and women to carry 3 x 5 cards with them to catch what Dr. Haddon Robinson calls “the big idea.”

An outstanding young man I recently met said this to me: “A leader is not the one who has the best ideas; a leader is the man or woman who uses the best ideas.” In order to do this, the leader must have an open, discerning mind. Of course, I am not talking about a sticky flycatcher that picks up everything passing by, but an astute ability to open up to ideas that are helpful.

I always keep in mind that what leaders know is not uppermost – I am primarily interested in what they are and how they think. That will determine how well they will use what they know and how they capture that which they don’t know. This is a critical element of good thinking.

A friend of mine who was an eminent scientist instructed me to “make friends with your ignorance. Wake up each morning realizing that there is so much more for you to know than you knew yesterday.”

This week think about: 1) When have I been too close minded to consider new ideas? 2) How can I think about opportunities for greatness? 3) What can I do this week to stretch my mind?

Words of Wisdom: “Engage highly energetic, ambitious achievers in a stimulating conversation, and suddenly you will see them record an idea that has crossed their mind.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will think about all you have done; I will reflect upon your deeds!” (Psalm 77:12 NET Bible)

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