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  • Articles posted by mandate (Page 72)

Three Legacies

Weekly Thought – January 24, 2017

Fred’s heart for pastors was well-known. After the website (breakfastwithfred.com) began he received daily emails from men and women who shepherded congregations. They asked specific leadership questions, but mostly wanted to ask about the role of integrity in both the laity and the clergy. He answered directly and compassionately, often giving them a safe haven to talk.

Three Legacies

After decades in business I can still see my father’s influence in me. Here are three which stand out:

1) Dad was a stickler for integrity. At home he was a strict disciplinarian. PKs (preacher’s kids) are always on public display. Dad and Mother knew this and demanded we be on time, have our lessons prepared, and respect the ministerial position through proper behavior. Dad took very seriously the Biblical imperatives about the role of a pastor. We knew how he felt about the family’s being in order. It was a heavy burden at times, but it made us keenly responsible even as young men. I was never tempted to rebel because I understood his motivation. I inherited my father’s admiration for integrity, and I hope that is part of my legacy when I leave.

2) Dad taught me the value of a spiritual life. This is often difficult in a pastor’s home. The struggle between the spiritual and the material is an on-going battle. Ours was no exception. Our home existed for the spiritual welfare of the church. I never heard business discussed, for example, until I left at age twenty-one. I had to begin my entire business education after that. The same struggle is true, though reversed, in homes of executives who do not nurture the spiritual elements. Children who grow up without a spiritual foundation then come to salvation must begin that entire part of their education. Yet, the material side was a continual tug of war. We scraped by financially. We also were held to a different standard by Mother and Dad focusing on the reality of heaven – sometimes to the neglect of earthly things! But I did learn possessions and accumulation are not the measure of wealth.

3) Dad believed and lived out the principle of giving to others if you have it to give. He regularly offered his clothing, our food, and certainly our home to those in need. And more than that, he offered spiritual counsel and knowledge gained through his study of the Word. I internalized this principle as a young man and hopefully have continued to use it throughout my life. When the opportunity to write articles for LEADERSHIP JOURNAL came, I eagerly accepted. I could use what I had learned to stretch others. Frequently I am asked “what are the most important things I need to learn about leadership and management?” It gives me satisfaction to share what I have gained through others, as well as my own experiences. If I have it to give, then Dad would certainly press me to give with all my might.

This week carefully consider: 1) What lessons have I learned from my parents? 2) How am I influencing my family, my co-workers, my church members? 3) Whose leadership do I emulate?

Words of Wisdom: “I inherited my father’s admiration for integrity, and I hope that is part of my legacy when I leave.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who conducts himself in integrity will live securely, but the one who behaves perversely will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9 NET Bible)

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Staged or Engaged?

“You are having dinner guests – I won’t stay long.”

My neighbor stopped by for a visit. She saw both my dining room and breakfast room tables were fully set. Her natural conclusion surprised me. “Oh, no, I am not expecting anyone – I just keep the tables set because I think it is prettier that way.”

If you walk into my house, the table settings will change seasonally. They look cheerful, inviting, and expectant. But rarely are the plates filled with food, the glasses holding sparkling drinks, or the napkins unfolded from their gala shapes. My tables tell a story – a make believe tale.

As I watch HGTV the “reveal” always includes a professional staging which introduces the potential buyer to the world as it could be in that house. You see active families, or energetic singles pursuing interesting lifestyles. As people view the homes they find themselves picture themselves inside the “storyboard.” I often wonder how they feel when they open their recently purchased home and the dream they bought has been packed up and hauled off in the stager vans.

My neighbor’s words made me think about my own home. And then my life. I love table settings (as did my Mom) and I love playing house ( as did my Mom). But my travel schedule, and my singular lifestyle don’t allow for a houseful of happy diners often. However, I like to think this is the way I live – the potential is there… the picture is there.

The question then arises… how often do we stage a life rather than engaging in one? Too often we dress the part, even talk the part, but actually never play the part. We can make our lives look interesting, challenging, and fun. But when the curtains are pulled, sometimes it is more staging than engaging.

My challenge to myself: invite real, living human beings to sit in those chairs, unfold those napkins, and fill the plates with food, gathering together with laughter, conversation, and engagement. I want to make the picture real in 2017.

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Leadership More Than A Position

Weekly Thought – January 17, 2017

Fred believed leadership was both science and art – skill and intuition. He spent most of his life studying great examples and applying them to his experiences and for the benefit of others.

Leadership More Than A Position

As the son of a preacher, I noticed a curious thing growing up. People in church leadership positions didn’t necessarily know how to lead.

My father pastored a number of small churches in Alabama, Kentucky, and Tennessee. Unfortunately, many of the people were inexperienced in management. Factory workers who ran plant machinery by day came to board meetings at night and tried to become executives. It didn’t work. Even in my early teens, I could sense the ineptness.

As employees, they had no experience in good leadership and they were incapable of offering anything to the church in the way of management skills. They assumed places of leadership without having leadership training. I watched day-laborers with warped ideas of what it meant become absolute dictators in the church.

One of these men would suddenly become chairman of the board. He did not know anything about organization, future planning, human dynamics, or vision. He didn’t practice organizational leadership in his job or even in his family. Yet suddenly he became a mini-mogul.

Worse yet, most of these people failed to recognize their lack of training or ability. They assumed the title and the position gave them the authority they needed. They did not understand leadership is a function. It isn’t license to order others around, but it is a service performed for the good of the whole group.

I struggled as I watched my Godly, people-oriented pastor father defeated over and over by his lack of political and management skills. He was revered as the “padre of the slums” in the mill district of Nashville where he pastored for years. I saw him outmaneuvered and broken down by the power brokers, even in a small church.

My mother was the manager. She saved us from starvation in the depression era. She stretched $125 per month my father earned to feed all seven of us. How I wished that church leaders had the organizational skills of my mother.
These experiences convinced me of the value of an orderly way of doing things. I grew up wanting to be a leader – not just to occupy a position of leadership, but to perform capably.

This week think about: 1) Why do I want to be a leader? 2) Who demonstrates the true nature of leadership? 3) How can I recognize leadership talent and provide training?

Words of Wisdom: “It (leadership) isn’t license to order others around, but it is a service performed for the good of the whole group.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Elders who provide effective leadership must be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard in speaking and teaching.” (1 Timothy 5:17 NET Bible)

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Love and Life

Weekly Thought – January 10, 2017

Fred was not “ooky-gooky,” as he was fond of saying. He was raised in a generation which expressed love through action more than words. His dedication to his family, his friends, and the body of Christ never veered off course. His fidelity and devotion to integrity became guiding lights.

Love and Life

Love creates an environment that strengthens the will to live. Love brings joy to our lives when there is often little to bring rejoicing. But we enjoy being loved so much we sometimes forget the responsibilities of being loved. Those who love us want us to live, not die. We often talk about pursuing a life worth living. I am convinced recognizing and understanding the value of love is a great part of that endeavor. Many tell me I am too strong-willed (and probably ornery) to give up and die, but I think the real reason for my zeal is the belief that I can contribute and that I am loved.

Doctors have told me many old people are said to die of “natural causes,” when in truth they actually die from loneliness – or a broken heart. There is actually medical research to show the connection between the emotional and physical condition. People can decide to give up life. Conversely, there is proof that those who receive loving care can sustain life beyond expectations. There was a study done to show the difference between patients who were prayed for and loved versus those who were left alone.

Just as God’s greatest gift to us is His love, the finest offering we can make to others is our love. And this is the love which is more than touchy-feely words. This is the love which C.S. Lewis defined as “wanting the best for the other.” Life giving love doesn’t have to be earned… it is freely given. One of the great lessons I have learned in my incapacitation is that I can love and be loved, regardless of my abilities.

Love is the strongest sustaining emotion we can feel. Acts of love are as important as words. One of my favorite times of day is when my daughter who cares for me comes in, pats me on the arms, kisses me o the forehead, and says, “I will see you in the morning.” When I was pronounced dying, she said to the medical staff, “No, I will take him home and he will live.” And so far, she has been right!

Even though my bride of 67 years is now in heaven I still celebrate Valentine’s Day… for her. And every day I can celebrate the truth of God’s love. He sent us a Valentine that would last forever – the “I love you” from Christ.

This week think about: 1) How do I know I am loved? 2) What motivates me to love others? 3) When is love most real in my life?

Words of Wisdom: “Life giving love doesn’t have to be earned… it is freely given.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord your God will also cleanse your heart and the hearts of your descendants so that you may love him with all your mind and being and so that you may live.” (Deuteronomy 30:6 NET Bible)

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Decide Well

Weekly Thought – January 3, 2017

Fred commented on New Year’s Resolutions: “They are usually last year’s regrets.” He was a proponent of healthy decision making, not emotional short-term reactions.

2017 is a year of promise for BWF. In addition to three campus events, we will be planning for a conference in 2018 titled “What’s Next.” More details will follow. Please pray for us as we start quickly with leadership institutes in February and April.

Decide Well

Our life is a network of decisions. A few are vital, but many more are more mundane. For example, the choice of a spouse and the decision to have children are two of the most critical, long-ranging. Buying a new suit is shorter term and less important – unless it results in a major fashion faux pas! And I have personal experience with this. A waitress once welcomed me to breakfast in a familiar place with a smile and, “Good morning, Mr. Smith, I see you dressed yourself today!”

Decision making is both an art and a science. I have known men and women who have the intuition for excellent decisions. They usually have the capacity to both see problems and solution possibilities. Charles Kettering, the automotive genius, once said, “A problem well-defined is half solved.” Other friends have said, “Knowing the options is the secret of good decision making.”

Executive and cabinet leader Robert McNamara had a regular management practice. Before he would accept a recommendation he would ask, “What other options did you reject before you chose this one?” When the answer was a sheepish admission that this was the first option, they would be sent back to reconsider and bring other options.

In order to pick the best option, you must know what the object of the decision is. Is this decision to solve a problem or open up a possibility? A key element of good decision making is recognizing the reality of the environment. I work to set aside all but the facts of the situation. When I have moved away all the emotional factors I can look rationally at the work that needs to be done. Too many people consider what they wish the situation were, what they hope it will be, without holding to the reality of what is.

Then I think through the ramifications of each option, as unemotionally as possible. I want to consider how each possibility would be implemented and executed. To make a decision without understanding the implications is poor leadership. So, I travel down the road with each option looking for potholes, faulty assumptions, and undesired outcomes. Good decision making is a satisfactory experience and worth the effort.

When this isn’t done, policies can be put in place which end up very ineffective, making management look weak. A good decision is structurally sound and effectively executed.

This week carefully consider: 1) What decision needs to be made this week? 2) How do I connect faith and decision making? 3) Who models good decision making?

Words of Wisdom: “Too many people consider what they wish the situation were, what they hope it will be, without holding to the reality of what is.”


Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you decide on a matter, it will be established for you, and light will shine on your ways.” (Job 22:28 NET Bible)

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Even A Child

Brenda’s Blog – January 3, 2017

“Mommy, we need to pray.”

I sat at a table eating my sandwich at Wendy’s and mentally lost in my long to-do list. A sweet little voice broke through. “Mommy, we need to pray.” I turned around to see a young boy about 4 or 5 making a matter of fact statement to his parents. “You are right, honey, let’s pray.”

I thought about the innocence of young ones and their understanding of values. His quiet leadership made me think about what lies ahead for him. His clarity will serve him well.

Then I thought about the confusion we adults create when we have “situational ethics.” We compromise when it becomes inconvenient. We cut corners when it suits us. We learn to live in the gray areas.

In Scripture we read the words, “And even a child shall lead them.” Listening to that voice made me think about the small voice of conscience which speaks to me. I want consistency in my thoughts and actions. I want to avoid arguments with myself and spend more time rejoicing in the growth I see.

I stopped by the table as I left to thank the parents for praying – and for listening to their son. That is a family training up children who will be great lights in our world. Congratulations to them for listening then taking right action. May we all live like that!

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Good Luck?

Brenda’s Blog – December 27, 2016

“Twists of Fate which brought strangers together in a life-saving event.”

The Weather Channel aired a special titled “Twists of Fate” highlighting horrendous weather-triggered emergencies which brought strangers together in dramatic ways. The situations were startling, but the “coincidences” and “twists of fate” dwarfed the impact of the experiences. They pointed out each turn which affected the outcomes – down to the smallest details.

The life-threatening stories were difficult to watch. But to see the documentary chronicle each turn and credit the fickle finger of fate prompted me to speak out loud to the TV screen (yes, I was alone in a hotel room watching this in the early morning hours). “THIS ISN’T FATE – THIS IS THE HAND OF OUR MOST HOLY, AWESOME, GRACIOUS GOD!”

This is the same God who sent Jesus as the “in the flesh” representation of the triune God. THIS was no accident, no twist of fate, no coincidence, either. We serve a purposeful God who intervenes in history and in our lives. PRAISE BE TO HIM.

Thanks, Weather Channel for giving me an opportunity to worship!

As we complete one year and begin another, let’s intentionally look for the many times we are protected, guided, and directed which feel like coincidences. Let’s enjoy seeing the hand of God in our lives. This is great joy for us and I believe for Him, as well. He loves to hear our voices of thanksgiving and what better time than that special moment we truly know is a “God-thing.”

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Life Blood

Weekly Thought – December 27, 2016

Fred did not trumpet his good deeds. He believed in quiet philanthropy and giving without fanfare. He gave to operations because “nobody likes to give to paperclips, but organizations need them.” He was generous in his giving and supported many without any thought of a charitable deduction.

Thank you for partnering with BWF this year. We appreciate your prayer encouragement, and your financial gifts. We look forward to another year of stretching and blessing.

Life Blood

Sometimes you keep stories to yourself because they are very personal. Sometimes the deep satisfaction that they reflect keeps them private. This is a story out of my early manhood I have never told before, simply because it was very personal and a very satisfying experience. It didn’t need any broadcasting.

When I was a young man in this life insurance business I went into a lawyer’s office where he and his daughter practiced together. As I spoke to them, they were obviously upset and asked me what my blood type was. Although it was a strange question, I knew that they earnestly needed my answer. When I told him he said, “That is exactly what we need.” And then he continued, “My brother is dying in St. Thomas Hospital (in Nashville, TN) and must have blood immediately. Will you give him some of yours?” I happily agreed.

We got into the car and headed straight for the hospital. Without doing anything other than taking off my coat, I stretched out on a cot beside the man. They transferred the blood directly from me to him because his need was that great. He lived and was very grateful for the transfusion. He wanted to pay me, but I told him his gratitude and his survival were thanks enough. Financial payment would be inappropriate.

I never saw him again but the experience produced total satisfaction.

When our souls were in need of a donation for our salvation, Christ shed His blood. When our souls were perishing, Christ provided a way for eternal lie. Christ gave us something that we cannot buy – we can only receive it by faith… namely, His grace. “Would you be free from the burden of sin? There’s power in the blood.”

This week think about: 1) How sensitive am I to needs of those around me? 2) What triggers my desire to give? 3) Who needs to hear about the life-giving blood of Jesus?

Words of Wisdom: “When our souls were in need of a donation for our salvation, Christ shed His blood.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not withhold good from those who need it, when you have the ability to help.” (Proverbs 3:27 NET Bible)

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Viewing Our Values

Weekly Thought – December 20, 2016

Fred and Mary Alice grew up in the depression. Their Christmases were very lean, particularly Mary Alice’s. As they raised their family, the idea of lavishing their children with luxurious gifts didn’t enter their minds. They wanted the children to appreciate a life that didn’t lead to extreme materialism. They wanted them to understand what a healthy life meant. Merry Christmas to you from BWF Project, Inc.

Viewing Our Values

The simple life is balanced. It is not necessarily devoid of tensions, but they are held in healthy tension. The wife of my good friend John Bullock used to say that she always wanted him to have two irritations at a time because, while having one drove him crazy, with two he could oscillate between them and keep his balance. She was a wise woman.

If our core values were manifested physically, we could see the grotesqueness of imbalance. Years ago I saw a man with elephantitis. It was hard not to notice his distorted features. I started thinking about the impact on people if we wore our value systems externally and others could see a tangible representation of who we are internally. What would a man given over to greed look like? How difficult would it be for others to look past the deformed extremity? How would your value system appear? What deformities would exist?

Great sculpture has to be balanced. Skilled artists can look at a mass of stone or clay, and see where the center of gravity is – where the balance exists. A mistake can result in destruction of that balance – and artistic disaster. Purpose is shown through the balanced life, just as the purpose of the artist’s material is displayed through his perfected work.

Remember the great story of the statue of David? When Michelangelo was asked how he carved such a splendid work out of the massive piece of marble, he replied, “Simple. I just cut away everything that wasn’t David.” A simple life has cut away everything that isn’t real to reveal true purpose. It is beautiful because it is in balance.

Think about: 1) How am I ensuring my life is in balance? 2) Where are my value distortions? 3) What is a good values focus for 2017?

Words of Wisdom: “If our core values were manifested physically, we could see the grotesqueness of imbalance.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Then he looked at wisdom and assessed its value; he established it and examined it closely.” (Job 28:27 NET Bible)

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Live Well

blog-83-prayer-hands

Brenda’s Blog – December 13, 2016

“Live for what outlives you.”

Bill McKenzie, founder of Pine Cove Christian Camps, used these words as the title of his recent book. Others advise us to plant oak trees or invest in mission activities. The underlying principle is living well by investing in efforts which endure longer than your own life span.

A friend told me she is convinced grandparents and even great-grandparents who didn’t know her prayed before she was born. I agree. “Paying it forward” is a common phrase we use to consider ways to bless others who have done nothing for us. I prefer “praying it forward.” By praying for the lives of my grandchildren, their future mates, faith walks, and children I am participating in the generational connection.

Taylor University names their buildings after great people of faith rather than using them as “naming opportunities” for large donors. They certainly appreciate those who contribute to the financial well-being of the school, but they made the decision to reserve prominent nomenclature for those who served the Lord and the Body of Christ wholeheartedly, regardless of financial support. In this way, Taylor honors those who gave their lives to something which undoubtedly outlived them.

When we grew up we were urged to spend money on deposits into the memory bank, not just things which would soon lose their meaning. Wise counsel (although not always appreciated by materialistic teens!). My parents are both gone now, but the memories last. They knew how to build up an account which would outlive them.

What are you doing to establish a project that will outlive you? What deposits are you making into the lives of those yet to come? How can you join Bill McKenzie in living for what will surely outlive you?

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