Decision Time

Brenda’s Blog – January 11, 2021

“HALT!”

Jack Turpin’s open to his Sunday School lesson got our attention. He continued: “Don’t ever make a life altering decision if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.” That was twenty-five years ago and it is still vividly imprinted on my mind.

Little did I know how often I would repeat that command to myself. Even more valuable were the numerous opportunities I had in my management career to pass along the admonition to others. During a particularly difficult time I shared my frustration with a fellow HALTer. As I expressed the desire to walk away he stopped me with an upraised hand in my face followed by “Brenda, HALT!!” That was just what I needed to clear my mind and reset the decision process.

Rarely am I ever truly hungry – we are a culture blessed with abundance. But diverting my work energy and making my way to a Snickers candy bar can reduce my wise decision skills!

Angry is a tough one. Depression is often described as anger turned inward. Decisions made with black clouds hanging overhead are often destructive. The Bible tells us to never let the sun go down on our anger. How wise!

Jack Turpin, the wise mentor, and my Dad were dear friends. At one point when Dad was seriously declining, Jack came to sit by Dad’s bed. Two years earlier he suffered the painful loss of his precious wife. As I walked him to the hospital elevator we talked about HALT. “L is the worst, isn’t it?” I nodded in total agreement. It is a challenge to avoid flawed decisions when we are covered by loneliness.

And tired – oh, how I know the cost of making a last minute, little thought decision because I was weary. A good friend once counseled me to delay any critical projects until mornings. “You will always do better putting the work away and starting in the morning. Staying up all night will just deter the successful completion. You aren’t helping yourself by pushing beyond tired.”

Try it – focus yourself on the discipline to check your attitude and condition before making a life altering decision. It will pay off.

Fruit Inspectors

Weekly Thought – January 11, 2022

Fred served as a mentor to many young men he met during Religious Emphasis Weeks on Southern Baptist college campuses. These men created lifelong friendships with mutual benefit. As they grew Fred enjoyed experiencing their maturity. One of them was Howard Butt, businessman, philanthropist, and Christian evangelist. Howard encouraged Christians to be “fruit inspectors,” not judges of others. In this role he looked for fruit of the Spirit leaving the judging of salvation to God.

Fruit Inspectors

Intolerance has become society’s unforgivable sin. Tolerance is attractive to our society because it is permissive. It is pleasant because it doesn’t require hard thinking. It is non-confrontational. Our society has lost the willingness to confront error in search of truth. We have created a virtue out of weakness and bought into sin. As usual, sin gives the benefit first, and extracts the price later.

I am convinced the way in which society now practices tolerance is a manufactured value that, when practiced to excess, will ultimately prove harmful. This doesn’t mean we are called to be judges of others. Oswald Chambers tells us that we are not to see the wrong in others in order that we might criticize them, but that we might intercede for them.

When we accept tolerance as our rule, we deny discernment as a spiritual value and gift. Discernment is not given to us so we can criticize but so we can coach; it is not given to us to point out weakness, but to help build up strength and avoid error.
Howard Butt, Jr. founder of Laity Lodge and a lay minister, preached a great sermon in his early years, proclaiming Christians to be fruit inspectors rather than judges. We are told in scripture “By their fruit you will know them.” It is one thing to recognize fruit and a totally different thing to be a judge. Fruit inspection is our job; judging is God’s.

Our fruit inspection must always be according to the principles of Scripture. It is the authority under which both we and the person observed exist. When a man or woman holds up the Bible and says, “Thus says the Lord,” it is not pronouncing personal judgment, but God’s. When any of us do this we are the reporter, not the author.

Another reason for fruit inspection is that in seeing sin in others we see our own and seek correction. We are called to discernment, not tolerance. We are to lead with an attitude of self-assessment while examining the quality of fruit. Maturity leads us to a clearer understanding of the subtle differences in our attitudes. But tolerance is not an option for mature Christians.

This week think about: 1) How uncomfortable am I with Biblically based intolerance? 2) What standard am I using for fruit inspection in others and myself? 3) Who models discernment for me?

Words of Wisdom: “When a man or woman holds up the Bible and says, ‘Thus says the Lord,’ it is not pronouncing personal judgment, but God’s… we are the reporter, not the author.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So that you may live worthily of the Lord and please him in all respects – bearing fruit in every good deed, growing in the knowledge of God,” (Colossians 1:10 NET Bible)

Personification of Greatness

Weekly Thought – January 4, 2022

Fred believed in heroes and their role in a successful personal network, as well as professional sphere. In his book, You and Your Network he devotes one chapter to the importance of them. This is a peek into his thinking on the subject. Happy 2022 to all. May you be stretched and blessed during this year.

Personification of Greatness

Defining the heroic quality is important in building a complete understanding of heroes. As I give examples remember they are illustrations, not recommendations. They draw a picture for me. I have chosen each for an outstanding trait which would ennoble my own life as I emulate a particular characteristic.

1) The apostle Paul: total dedication. He went through Oswald Chambers’ term “the white funeral in which he died to himself long before the “black funeral” which is physical death. He is one of the few men I feel I know just from studying him. He made up his mind and found his magnificent obsession, his lodestar, and the race that was his to run.

2) Gandhi: sacrificial unselfishness. He found a love for his people who deserved justice. The spark of greatness was ignited when he was thrown off an Indian train in a racial incident. It was a galvanizing event. He represents the desire to sacrifice and be subservient to something bigger than we are. He believed he could influence change. To me, he personifies the values needed to find answers, not just ask questions.

3) Abraham Lincoln: strength and gentleness. He did his duty as he saw it, even though it tore his heart in two as he did it. I don’t think he appears to possess a superior gift, but a superior spirit that matched his opportunity. He represented flexibility without changing course or values. He lacked personal happiness, but had abiding joy.

4) Albert Einstein: humility. Few people choose him because we rarely choose a hero who is so far above us that we cannot identify with them. Einstein is one of my heroes, not for his intellect, but for his humility. His was a natural state, not acquired or disciplined. Einstein seemed to be devoid of arrogance, self-centeredness, and conceit – for these ignoble trait had been replaced by a mental and spiritual temper which let him see his ignorance much more than his knowledge – and is gratitude far beyond his rights.

5) Leonardo DaVinci: principle-based thinking. His broad perspective didn’t drive him to mount campaigns to change life. He was relaxed to see it as it was. He understood the unifying themes of life: science, art, music, mathematics, or philosophy- they were all facets of life experience with man as the hub. Because he understood principles his mind could range indefinitely, creating sketchy ideas of such magnitude that it would take hundreds of years before they were usefully adapted. To me, he is an intellectual hero. His serenity is a personal reproach to our hurry, scurry, activist culture. He helps me remember I am a small dot in a very big picture – God’s eternal universe.

6) Abraham: vision and faith. He was willing to risk all on the unseen, transcendent God. He went out not knowing where he was going, but trusted the direction of God. He ventured into the unknown because the known was his reality. He obeyed and moved beyond the expected. Without vision we settle on too low a plateau. Without vision and faith we never experience more than the mundane.

7) Edison: persistence and perseverance. Edison is a practical hero. Each failure showed him something that didn’t work and didn’t disturb his intentional efforts to find one that did. There are times in our lives when we need someone to personify the will to survive, the refusal to give up.

8) Ben Hogan: consistency. He paid the price. While he is recognized for his tenacity and coming back after an accident and overcoming handicaps. He was willing to consistently study the golf swing until he could make it repeatable. He personified the secret of good golf.

This week carefully consider: 1) Who are my heroes? 2) What characteristics are important for personification? 3) How can I more carefully study the development of heroes?

Words of Wisdom: “Heroes personify characteristics needed for successful living.”

Wisdom from the Word: “His acts are characterized by faithfulness and justice; all his precepts are reliable.” (Psalm 111:7 NET Bible)

The Last Word

Brenda’s Blog – December 28, 2021

When the TV Barn Builder crew erects a log structure they lift the final log and the team leader yells out, “LAST LOG!” It is their traditional acknowledgement of completion.

Friday I attended the memorial service for a long time friend. Afterwards, my family asked, “What do you want for your service?” “Mom, please send me an outline so I know what you want,” responded my pastor son who will conduct the service (hopefully not in the near future).

As twenty somethings we attended weddings, taking notes for our own nuptials; then we became parents of daughters looking for ideas as we sat through more friends’ events than we could count; and at this age and stage we say goodbye to friends while focusing on features for our own service.

I hear people say, “Oh, I don’t care what the family does.” I disagree – I do care! It is my final opportunity to share my faith in Jesus. It is not a time to sanitize, creating an unrealistic image. My Dad was given many awards in his latter years. He was gracious as he received them, but in private conversation would say, “I wish I had known that man.”

What do you want people to hear about you? Who do you want to participate? What music do you want? Why? It is a good exercise. As you do that, why not consider your own obituary and epitaph? These expressions give direction while we are still alive… they shine a light on who we want to be – and be remembered. It gives impetus to stronger purpose.

Writers often include a PS known as “Last Words.” It provides summary, action charges, and goodbyes to the audience who has motivated the author during the creative process.

I challenge you to think of the projects in your life, implementing the “last log!” cheer. And, I urge you to organize your own memorial service, making it easier for your family, and giving you a platform to reflect your last words.

Moving the Vision

Weekly Thought – December 28, 2021

Fred enjoyed distilling and clarifying. His ability to take a broad topic, squeeze out the essence, and then magnify its utility was one of his major strengths. He called it “putting handles on the pot.” He said ideas needed effective transportation just like a pot needs a handle to make it passable from one to another. Today’s thoughts on organizational vision exemplify this skill.

Moving the Vision

One of a leader’s functions is to gather followers around the vision, not himself/herself. This is where integrity comes into the equation. The leader who coagulates others is an embezzler. Using personal magnetism as a means of getting things done is, to me, manipulation.

Leaders must recognize several subtle dynamics:

1) Decisions are not commitments: The first is short-term; the other long-term. People can decide to work toward a specific emphasis; commitment’s aim is the ultimate purpose. Both are necessary. Those with only a long-term focus will often fail to accomplish much. Short-term is usually the trigger for activity. The leader’s job is to motivate movement using decision to accomplish commitment. Wise leaders know that when they get a decision (even a group decision) they haven’t necessarily gotten commitment. One of the downfalls of leadership is evoking an emotional decision which will fall apart.

2) Recognize the “driving wheels”: In any organization there are those who provide momentum and those who are just along for the ride. Effective leaders know establishing commitment from the driving wheels will ordinarily result in the others coming along. Correct identification is critical for stable, forward progress in any group or organization. The best way to motivate driving wheels is not emotion but comprehension. My good friend Jack Turpin says the only way for people to perform excellently over the long term is if they fully comprehend what they are doing. Leaders must be honest about the vision, the effort necessary, and reasons for expending it. Lasting motivation is persuasion through comprehension. The key to a driving wheel is asking, “Do you agree this is something worth doing? If so, let’s commit to it together.”

3) Know when it is time to change the vision: Strong leaders know the situation does not hold still forever. It is always important to measure the vision against the desired results. Perseverance is a positive attribute for a healthy leader, but the ability to sense the direction is crucial. Sir Winston Churchill is well known for his exhortation: “Never, never, never, never give up!” But it is just as important to know “When the horse is dead; dismount!”

Organizations require leaders who can define and articulate the vision. Just as important for the leader is the trait of reading the progress and direction of the vision, knowing when to reevaluate, and perhaps shift the emphasis.

This week think carefully about: 1) How do I set the vision as a leader? 2) What gives me clues about the time to change the vision? 3) Who can I use as a model for visionary leadership?

Words of Wisdom: “In any organization there are those who provide momentum and those who are just along for the ride.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He stores up effective counsel for the upright, and is like a shield for those who live with integrity.” (Proverbs 2:7 NET Bible)

Freedom to Lead

Weekly Thought – December 21, 2021

Fred carried a reputation of integrity. He spoke, wrote, and mentored from a position of understanding the true responsibilities of leadership. Anyone who heard or read him were reminded of character and the critical role it plays in personal and professional decisions.

Freedom to Lead

Some leaders in business and in ministry I know feel trapped. “I’m called by God to do this, but I don’t like aspects of the job, and I don’t feel free to change them.” My experience with pastors is that many feel like slaves to the church with very few options. My corporate executive friends express the same emotions.
They do have emotional options, of course. They can choose to be dedicated, enthusiastic, willing to use their best talents, or they can drag their feet, be insolent, and hostile. Internal control is the often the only available control.

When feeling trapped Christians need to recognize they may be serving the wrong master. We are all called to be slaves of Christ, not of the church, or the business career. This freedom to serve Christ alone requires discipline. It comes with a price – all freedom does. One of Mary Alice’s friend commented, “Fred has more freedom to say what he really thinks than anybody else I know.” My wife replied, “He pays a price for it.” It is true. We who want to serve Christ as our master understand the cost. Bonhoeffer discussed the “Cost of Discipleship.”

The willingness to be disliked comes with the commitment to character and integrity. The world is uncomfortable with those whose standards exclude convenient compromise. When we make the decision to serve Christ alone, the price tag is high. It may cost a job, a relationship, or social position. Joshua asserted his leadership philosophy when he challenged the people to declare their loyalties. He wasn’t mandating but announcing when he said, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I was approached by a high profile Christian businessman who asked me to sit on his board. I said, “You don’t want me. I would see my responsibility to the organization, not to you. You couldn’t count automatically on my vote.” In saying this I was insisting on my freedom to discharge my responsibility. He quickly agreed I wasn’t the person he wanted on the board.

Freedom is not irresponsibility. I believe one reason for America’s productivity is the environment where responsible people live in freedom. The Puritan conscience is the central element: “you have a talent, you’re responsible for it, and one day you will stand before God and give an account for its use.”

This week think about: 1) How free do I currently feel? 2) What do I need to do to clarify my direction? 3) Who can help me more fully commit to Christ?

Words of Wisdom: “Freedom is not irresponsibility.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Or you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity to indulge your flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13 NET Bible)

Setting Priorities for Troubled Times

Weekly Thought – December 14, 2021

Fred grew up moving frequently as his pastor father accepted different church assignments. They experienced financial hardships, but always kept their family compass focused on true North. During his lifetime he faced difficult career decisions, and setbacks. But he established a moral base early in life which served him well.

Setting Priorities for Troubled Times

Major troubles challenge our priorities. It also revises, and may I say – purifies. We decide what is really important. Trouble also gives us an opportunity to look at the situation realistically, assessing the odds. A friend called to tell me of his leukemia diagnosis. “I chose to ignore the spiritual things thinking I would deal with them later. I wasn’t in a hurry. Cancer changed that.”

Trouble makes us distill the essence of life. Let’s look at three ways:

1) What are the necessities? Too much of life is spent, or wasted, on the superficialities.
2) We ask ourselves, “Who am I becoming?” Often I ask someone if they are becoming who they want to be and many times the answer is “Oh, no, but I intend to – someday.”
3) How do I want to be remembered? What do I want on my tombstone? Fannie Crosby, author of thousands of hymns and choruses, asked her family for these words: “Aunt Fannie – she did what she could.”

Answering those three questions, we know how to spend our time, energy, and attention. Rather, we know how to invest, not spend, our resources. The answers will build a framework for reprioritizing. Good life management periodic inventories to insure we are making the “highest and best use.”

During the dark financial days in the 1980s, a couple came by the office to see me. They told of making a list of all their social relationships. Then they went back and created a second list of those who would be their friends if (and when) they went broke. This much shorter list represented their new list of true friends.

Their situation reminded me of the man who asked his wife, “Will you still love me after I’m bankrupt?” “Of course I will,” she answered sweetly, “and I will miss you, too.” She would not have been on the list of true friends.

In crucial situations it is important to assess the odds. When you are moving with the odds there is no question of progress, just the rate of progress. Some of my most successful friends work with the situations, not giving into the circumstances. My longtime friend Dr. Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary always his new students laugh when they give him a long story of incomplete assignments introduced with, “Under the circumstances…” Prof. always instantly responds, “Son, what are you doing under there?” When we are going against the odds it requires extra effort, more intense concentration, better vigilance, and keener intelligence because there is less margin for error.

Trouble clarifies; trouble verifies; and trouble makes a way to maturity.

This week think about: 1) Where are my troubles right now? 2) How am I growing from trouble? 3) Where am I finding strength and hope?

Words of Wisdom: “Trouble makes us distill the essence of life.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him.” (Ecclesiastes 8:6 ESV Bible)

Joy of Discovery

Brenda’s Blog – December 14, 2021

“I didn’t know I could be pretty.”

These words spoken by a college woman exploded in my heart. As part of our Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute program we offered makeover instruction by Kat Van Dusen, a Mary Kay director. In the planning stages the college planning group told me their women wouldn’t be interested, but agreed to offer the afterhours option. Don’t expect more than four or five attendees, they recommended. Kat prepared for 20 believing in what God called her to do.

Forty women jammed into the room! Kat masterfully led them through makeup lessons while delivering principles of who we are as women in Christ Jesus. Their attention was on both the cosmetics and the Christology!

I sat on the side, listening and watching – and praising God for what was happening in that room. The Spirit of God was truly at work.

At the end, Kat passed little mirrors around the table, enabling each participant to catch their post-makeover reflection. Lots of oohs, and aahs (which was expected). Then then power appeared.

The last woman to receive the mirror glanced, put it down, and began crying. “I didn’t know I could be pretty.” There was a holy hush which permeated the entire space. We all knew the glory of God had fallen. She said she had always accepted the fact that she was plain without any hope of being pretty. Makeup was not used because she thought it was for “the pretty girls.”

The magic was not in the makeup, but in the moment of discovery. She did not exchange the beauty of Jesus for the world’s charm. No! But she no longer bought into the world’s message, either. She heard Kat’s words about who we are in Christ certainly. She also felt the loving touch of a woman whose career is centered on Jesus and encouragement.

The Process of Wisdom

Weekly Thought – December 7, 2021

Fred appreciated a prayer from William Barclay and studied its line often in preparation for speaking or teaching. One of his favorite principles of speaking was: “speak from the overflow.” He wanted to be fully prepared, not just with specific material for one lesson, but with ample content to provide a robust quality to his talks. He desired to impart life principles leading to wisdom, not just information.

The Process of Wisdom

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our study, wisdom; in our pleasure, gladness; and in our love, loyalty.”

William Barclay who spent his life studying, realized that wisdom comes by process. Scripture talks about getting knowledge, and then understanding, and then wisdom. In America we are long on knowledge, but short on wisdom. We educate the head so much better than we educate the heart. Often you hear, “How can anyone that smart be that dumb?” Their head may be smart, but their heart is ignorant.

The major problems we face today are not because we are uneducated, but because we are unwise. We see this in political confrontations. Those are educated men and women. They may have knowledge, but greatly lack wisdom. Wall Street scandals are not from lack of knowledge, but from lack of wisdom which manifests itself in lack of character.

One of the most interesting columns I’ve read in a long time is “The heartless lovers of mankind.” The author points out how dangerous intellectuals are who have theories about the welfare of mankind without regard for individual life. The writer points out Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Stalin as men who had an intellectual theory about the construction of society. Each had no regard for individuals, even those close to them. These theorists used what is called “useful murders.” Mao killed 300,000,000 while working out a social theory and philosophy. All of these men saw mankind as raw material for experimentation. They did not love people. They loved power and played with lives as pieces on a chess board.

Let me quote from T.S. Eliot: “where is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? The cycles of heaven in twenty centuries bring us further from God and nearer to the dust.”

God made us from dust to move toward God. Eliot points out that we are moving quickly back to the dust.
Knowledge will never be enough. In our high technology world we fail to complete the process moving from data to information to knowledge to wisdom. We get stuck and wisdom loses.

May we understand and believe Barclay, “in our study, wisdom.”

This week carefully consider 1) Who are the wisdom figures in my life? 2) How tempted am I to stop at knowledge? 3) What am I doing to attain and apply wisdom in my relationships?

Words of Wisdom: “Their heads may be smart, but their hearts are ignorant.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing; it benefits those who see the light of day.” (Ecclesiastes 7:11 NET Bible)

Make It Look Easy

Brenda’s Blog – November 30, 2021

“We’re going to practice until the congregation is totally relaxed thinking how easy the music is.” The choir director went over and over a most difficult passage with the goal of its looking easy. Dad used to tell me the sign of a professional is in the art of making it look simple. “You don’t want anyone to think you are struggling.”

“Don’t ever let them see you sweat” was a popular byword years ago. It was an admonition to keep one’s cool.

Nathaniel Hawthorn, early New England author, put it bluntly and succinctly: “Easy reading; hard writing.” Giving life to a thought is similar to birth… from conception to delivery is a process requiring inspiration, effort, and even pain.

A wise leader of industry once advised, “Show me the baby, don’t tell me about the labor pains.” Most people have no interest in the complete rehashing of the creative process, but prefer to view the outcome. But we must commit to the entire process, right? The delivery, even the pain, has a distinct purpose and its own beauty.

We are called to excellence and a key element is the ability to produce and perform seamlessly. It takes work, but how pleasing it can be to all, including ourselves. Practicing to the point of relaxed performance brings satisfaction and joy.

Let’s look at year end and see what it will take to make it look easy, finishing 2021 well.

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