Weekly Thought -April 26, 2022

Fred managed the aging process masterfully. He followed his own principle of growing older, but never old. He prepared well for the last years through planning and mental discipline. Even in his years of restriction he said, “I am not disabled; I am delightfully dependent.”

Growing Older

Joy is like the wine which Christ made from the contents of the water jugs – the best was saved for last.

Normally, people think the exuberance of youth creates the best years of life. They believe the poorer wine is reserved for old age, so they substitute the memories of youth for current experiences. Too many people are eating the crumbs of former feasts. They take the scraps from a years old big dinner, reheat them, and accept that as satisfactory.

The Christian life should reverse that philosophy. God works on an ascension scale – he moves us as He transforms us; He changes and enhances our spirit even as our body deteriorates. If we follow Christ we are moving from earth to heaven; from temporal to eternal. In our Christian life “the best is yet to be.”

Our prayer of thanksgiving as we age should be, “Thank you that thou has kept to best until now.” Finishing well is summed up by hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joys of thy Lord.”

The Christian life has responsibilities and duties. Being profitable to the Master is our job description. At the end of this work is the participation in His joy. This should be the normal pattern for Christian living, not the exception. God wants us to be productive – it is part of the relationship we have with Him. We can use it as a measure of our life experiences.

At my age my friends are tempted to reheat and rehash stories of youthful successes. It is challenging to cancel our membership in the “usta club.” It is tiring to sit with formerly active, eager people and hear them endlessly retell tales of what they “usta do.” God’s plan is forward gear, accomplishing to the last day. He saves the best wine for the last – we must drink it with joy.

This week carefully consider: 1) How much joy am I displaying? 2) What are my future plans? 3) When do I feel God’s pleasure as I strive for “well done?”

Words of Wisdom: “They take the scrap from a years old big dinner, reheat them, and accept that as satisfactory.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He died at a good old age, having enjoyed long life, wealth, and honor. “ (1 Chronicles 29:28a NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 5, 2022

Fred clearly differentiated between strengths and weaknesses. Contrary to some, he disagreed with the effort to overcome weaknesses. “Develop your strengths and buttress your weaknesses” was his philosophy. He observed insecurities as facts of life, not weaknesses. His thinking is most helpful.

Insecurity and Growth

All of us have our areas of insecurity… not just a passing anxiety, but the continuing lack of adequacy. Even when we sleep it haunts us in our dreams.

Actually, as we become more secure, we are better able to recognize and accept our remaining insecurities. For example, even the most emotionally secure might still have stage fright so badly they refuse to face an audience or some new experience. I have found some extremely extroverted before a camera or from the platform can become insecure off the stage. I have known “bigger than life” personalities who were afraid to be alone.

While we can borrow a small amount of security from others, we cannot depend on others for complete security. One of the most difficult and contentious marriages I know is between a tragically insecure woman and an outrageously secure man. She thought his security would become hers by osmosis, but of course, this did not happen. Rather than admire and benefit from his security she began to harbor resentment and stayed irritated. His equilibrium was a constant reminder and reflection of her imbalance.

Permanent security must be grown from within. This is part of the pain of growth. It takes a great deal of determination and discipline. Fortunately, it is not a disease of the will, so the will can become an ally and stepping stone on the path to security. I would also add that nearly as important is will power is a sense of humor. In my life I was raised in the mill district of a large Southern town, son of a Baptist preacher. I had no exposure to social graces or cultural experiences, so as I was offered opportunities beyond my background I ran head long into “social gaps.” We were grateful to have one fork beside our plate so you can imagine my chagrin staring at an elegant table with china, crystal, linen, and MANY forks! An inner sense of humor is extremely useful in relieving the pressures of embarrassment. The confidence comes, but it helps to laugh at the gaffes along the way!

Insecurities are a part of the human condition. We mature, fill in holes and grow, but it is a process that takes time, hard work – and often a good laugh.

This week carefully consider: 1) What do I consider insecurities? 2) When I look back, how much growth do I see? 3) How well am I able to laugh at (and with) myself?

Words of Wisdom: “The confidence comes, but it helps to laugh at the gaffes along the way!”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will lie down and sleep peacefully, for you, Lord, make me safe and secure.” (Psalm 4:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 29, 2022

Fred considered himself a realist. He read an account of POWs by a survivor. The author remarked that the optimists were the first to succumb, the pessimists came next, and the majority of those who made it were realists. Fred emphasized the necessity of “keeping current” and aware of what is, not what one wished it to be.

Keep An Eye on the Rainbow

A young preacher pastoring his first church in a Northern mill town told of his conversation of the mill owner. “Young man, you have not seen me in church and you will not until my funeral. I own this town as well as the mill. This is my pot of gold. When I came here as an immigrant I heard that in America there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I found the gold, young man, but I lost the rainbow.” He didn’t have to lose it, but he did. Life is never a mandatory choice between the rainbow and the gold.

After speaking to a conference of Canadian corporate presidents, a group of us sat around discussing personal success and how to define it. One president’s contribution stays with me: “I would like to live rich as well as die rich.” He learned how to keep the rainbow and the pot of gold.

The rainbow, from its inception, has been the symbol of hope – the promise of ultimate victory and the relatedness with the eternal and divine. I hope you will live and die rich, but if you have to choose – live rich with hope, joy, and promise.

Recently, a restless friend said, “I feel a lack of joy in my life. I wonder if it is worth it.” He appeared passive and almost numb to life. He seemed to be acted upon by circumstances, pressured by events, and absorbing the pessimism of the joyless. He failed to possess the courage to take charge of his life and attitudes.

I often speak of “joy for the journey.” I am not talking about surface happiness which comes like the wind without knowing where or why. Joy is more than fortuitous circumstances. Joy is effectively activated when life is a struggle. Joy is the deep adequacy, the determined will to survive… that faith to believe “all things work together for good.”

Oftentimes I read of “secrets” of joy but actually there are none which people hunted and found like Easter eggs. No effervescent books, or esoteric cults can provide true, lasting joy. Joy is a result. It is a reward for life’s being well spent in hopefulness. It truly brings the pot of gold by following the rainbow. Joy is not measured in dollars and cents, but in a life well lived.

This week think about: 1) How would I describe my balance between pot of gold and rainbow? 2) What gives me joy? 3) Who am I influencing in making choices for a rich life?

Words of Wisdom: “Joy is the deep adequacy, the determined will to survive…that faith to believe all things work together for good.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And since I am sure of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for the sake of your progress and joy in the faith.” (Philippians 1:25 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 15, 2022

Fred consistently sought to realistically deal with problems. To help others he established one of his most important pieces of counsel: “It is critical to know the difference between a problem and a fact of life. A problem can be solved; a fact of life is a given. To spend time trying to change a fact of life is foolish.”

Handling Problems Realistically

A former pro athlete, now incarcerated on drug charges, said “the drug problem is really about lifestyle. We are caught between our idea of the good life and how to handle real problems. Some of us choose to handle them by escaping into substance abuse.” I agree with him, but I think it may be even more.

It is how we define a problem that affects the outcome. A problem may be a hurt, a wound, or an emotional vacuum. The good life tells us we are winners; we always feel good; we always live on the high side of life. Movies, TV commercials, and celebrities support this philosophy. If we are down then we are in the “before” side of life. Sitcoms and advertisements solve problems in lightening speed making the “after” look like reality. In actuality, it may just be another layer of the problem itself.

Nothing in life brings instant results. Consciousness altering substances have great appeal because they tend to sell the user on the idea that they can check out and experience something else almost immediately. But sober, sane life doesn’t work that way. Nothing can transform us that quickly.

This is one of the reasons too many look for spiritual highs and spiritual quick fixes because we don’t want to do the hard work of solving the problems and undergoing transformation. We want to go from “before” to “after” in blinding speed, enjoying it all the way. It just doesn’t happen that way.

So, what too many define as the winning life cannot be genuine because it depends on the artificial, the synthetic, and the addictive to live at that level. Looking for the sudden high leads to lifestyles of degradation.

The periphery of our hurts may be temporarily satisfied by these solutions, but none of them touch the core of the problems. In actuality, the core and the essential hurt continues to grow, giving room for nothing but hopelessness. A pitiful alternative is giving in to the darkness and claiming worthlessness. The one who opts for this solution gives in and jettisons all self-respect.

What is the answer? The rejuvenation of the Holy Spirit. Nothing satisfies like the washing and changing through the Spirit. Through this comes true transformation. And this must come through an actual spiritual experience, not just head knowledge. But it doesn’t come without risk. We can’t do it on a trial basis. It is life’s total risk. But life through rejuvenation and regeneration is truly the only good life. All else may sizzle for awhile but will ultimately fizzle.

This week consider: 1) How do I define the good life? 2) What distinctions am I making between problems and facts of life? 3) Who is a good role model for genuine satisfaction?

Words of Wisdom: “Nothing in life brings instant results.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 8, 2022

Fred wrote about the value of heroes as a critical element in You and Your Network. He differentiates them from role models, or sponsors. He once saw a study showing that our heroes at age 10 have a dramatic influence on our lives. In early conversations he was always interested in those people kept in the hero category.

Heroes, Not Celebrities

The list of those to whom we could profitably look as heroes is lengthy. They personify the traits of character and values we would like to make part of our own lives. For example, Booker T. Washington who accomplished great things in the face of obstacles others could not overcome. His nobility ultimately became the practical.

We are unrealistic to think our heroes should be perfect. The Bible recognizes their imperfections. I have always been convinced the inclusion of them is a proof of scripture’s inspiration. Capturing the complete person is a great help. In Hebrews we see those inducted into the “Hall of Faith.” The list includes murderers, schemers, adulterers, and even prostitutes.

There is no need to defend our heroes against anything except perfection. When we ask for perfection we become vulnerable to those who expose their weaknesses thereby trying to destroy their value to us. Heroes personify the value and the human capability of reaching nobility, but never perfection.

Expecting complete purity is unrealistic and unhealthy. To require our heroes to be flawless is to build on a false philosophical – and theological – base.

The media have done all us a great disservice when they attempt to exchange the lasting inspiration of the hero for the momentary excitement of the celebrity. Our son, Fred, first caused me to think about the difference between heroes and celebrities when he said, “The heroes of the early church were martyrs and ours are celebrities.” Herein may lie a great deal of the weakness of our modern church. Don’t misunderstand – I am not lobbying for those who go around talking like self-professed martyrs. That is not what fueled the early church. We know persecution has always been the great purifier. But persecution in the name of Christ, not because we create havoc. Emerson said, “Those who follow after celebrity sip the foam of many lives.” Today’s celebrities rise on a wave of applause and break on the rocks of inattention. They are surely a fantasy waiting to be exposed.

Heroes give us the desire and a roadmap toward virtue; celebrities give us a picture of vapid ego drive.

This week think carefully; 1) Who was my hero at age 10? 2) What heroic qualities am I pursuing? 3) How can I encourage others to incorporate heroes in their personal development?

Words of Wisdom: “We are unrealistic to think our heroes should be perfect.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Open the gates so a righteous nation can enter— one that remains trustworthy.” (Isaiah 26:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 1, 2022

Fred purposefully created opportunities for conversations. For example, he invited a small group of friends from across the country to join him for a weekend of thinking, eating, and “just plain fun.” One of the topics was “doing good.” This excerpt is from his observations on the topic.

Good Works

“He went about doing good” was said of Christ. He was intentional and purposeful about his everyday circumstances. Recently I met a young man, unhappy in his computer job, wanted to quit and work full time giving his Christian testimony. I asked if his plan was to go to churches where he would be warmly received and applauded. He actually said that was his plan. All those I’ve seen who do this are not worth shooting in six months. The veracity of his testimony was at his computer job, not on a church platform. We are to share our testimony while at work, not as our work.

Christ didn’t go about doing good when He was in a good mood. Nor did He go about weighing His opportunities looking for the “greatest good,” He did what was at hand. When we focus on the highest good it is easy to ignore the small bits of good. We can get immobilized waiting for meaningful, significant contributions. There is no small good versus large good, There is no hierarchy of good in God’s economy. It is a chain that links human history together living out God’s plan.

I read a story about football player Steve Largent, former Pro football player. When he was six his father deserted the family. His mother remarried a drunk who abused them. He hated to go home after school. He heard about an after school meeting for teens where they served punch and cookies. Giving him a reason to stay away from home he started attending Young Life meetings. Through YL he came to know Jesus Christ. I doubt that the lady who baked the cookies and fixed the punch thought she was engaged in great Kingdom work. She was going about doing good, leaving the outcome to the Lord.

The American church is caught up in celebrity Christianity. Emphasis on visibility, popularity, and prosperity alter the scriptural teaching. Very few are called to a public platform… probably even fewer than we currently have. I met a woman who was a minister after speaking at a national conference. She was struggling with her calling. We talked about it and she wrote me saying, “Fred, I don’t have to be famous, do I? I don’t have to be well known to be a faithful Christian, do I?” Then she went on to tell me about an experience. She went to visit a classmate of her daughter’s who was jailed for prostitution and drugs. As she sat down with the girl she asked, “How are you?” The young woman defiantly answered, “Just fine, okay?” I answered her, “That is good. I just want to tell you God loves you and I would like to be your friend.” As I said this the girl got up from her seat, moved to me sobbing. We stood there hugging. I doubt this woman ever preached a more eloquent, inspired sermon. Right there in her daily circumstances she was going about doing good.

This week carefully think about: 1) How clear am I on the opportunities to do good? 2) What is before me right now for doing good? 3) Who models day to day intentional following Jesus?

Words of Wisdom: “There is no small good versus large good. There is no hierarchy of good in God’s economy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up. “ (Galatians 6:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – February 22, 2022

Fred studied philosophy, applying his principles and truths to life. One area of particular interest to him was humor. He took very little at face value, but diligently investigated subjects. These thoughts certainly exemplify this exercise.

Good Humor

Good humor is a way of looking at life. It believes nothing is perfect. In this it gives us the freedom to relax a bit and laugh. It recognizes that we all have our good and bad days. Good humor operates with the slippage of a belt drive, not the exacting gear teeth which are unable to give without breaking.

The best thing about humor is that it grows out of our need for it. The more we desperately need it, the stronger it develops. For example, the inner person is saved from destruction by a spirit of good humor even while the outer person is being tortured or tormented. This humor is for the persecuted. It has kept our spirits up even during bitter periods when cynicism was poured out like acid or depression felt like a malady.

When the illogical masquerades as logic it must be treated with humor. For example, I heard about the hippie caught in a house before stealing anything was asked by the owner, “What are you doing here?” “Man, everybody has got to be somewhere” was his reply. There is such logic to that statement it just has to be funny.

Natural humor occurs so frequently that we don’t have to work to be funny. In fact, those that try for laughs strain the interaction. We rightfully resent anyone who manipulates a situation into a setting for one of oft-told stories or smart-alecky remarks. Being used as a foil isn’t appreciated. When humorous comments come naturally they bring laughter. Otherwise it feels like an imposition.

Often we think of humorous and serious as being antithetical. Actually, they are two sides of the same coin. They are simply two separate ways of expressing the same thought, not two different thoughts. The most profound thought can be expressed humorously in the right setting with respect. Most people that so they opt for serious communication thinking it will be heard and received. When we think of humor as a variation, it gives the freedom to be bi-lingua. We can speak two languages with equal fluency having the ability to move from one to another with ease and appropriateness.

Humorist William Zinsser found in his Yale writing class that “students strove at first for humor, hoping to bag a few truths along the way. We ended up striving for truth and hoping to add humor along the way. Ultimately, we realized the two are intertwined.”

This week think about: 1) Who makes me uncomfortable with the constant effort to be funny? 2) How can I develop my own sense of humor? 3) When have I used humor to protect myself from pain?

Words of Wisdom: “Good humor is a way of looking at life.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A joyful heart makes the face cheerful, but by a painful heart the spirit is broken.” (Proverbs 15:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – February 8, 2022

Fred believed in establishing a lifestyle and then disciplining the use of money within that framework. He didn’t adhere to the philosophy of spending to impress, join in, or establish social position. He defined the simple life in more than monetary terms – it was a complete way of looking at life – and living it fully. In this excerpt he quotes from some favorite writers on the subject.

Living Simply

Living a simple life means we come to the point of defining a lifestyle to which we can then apply common sense organization.

Richard Foster says, “Contemporary culture lacks both the inward reality and the outward lifestyle of simplicity. Inwardly, modern man is fractured and fragmented. He is trapped in a maze of competing attachments. One moment he makes decisions on the basis of sound reason; the next moment (decisions are made) out of fear of what others will think. He has no unity or focus around which life is oriented.”

We can see evidences of a simple life around us. What are they? Where are they? I think the Quakers do a better job than most others in fully understanding the dynamics, the beauty, and the elegance of the simple life. Therefore let me quote to you:

“Experiencing the inward reality liberates us outwardly. Speech becomes truthful and honest. The lust for status and position is gone, because we no longer need status or position. We cease from showy extravagance, not on the grounds of being unable to afford it, but on the grounds of principle. Our goods become available to others. We join the experience that Richard F. Byrd recorded in his journal after months alone in the barren arctic, “I am learning that a man can live profoundly without masses of things.”

Francois Fenelon, my spiritual mentor, says it this way: “When we are truly in this interior simplicity, our whole appearance is franker, more natural. This true simplicity makes us conscious of a certain openness, gentleness, innocence, gaiety, and serenity which is charming when we see it near to and continually with pure eyes, o how amiable this simplicity is.”

To paraphrase… we possess natural charm. I was on a television talk show with one of the plainest women I have ever seen. She had a bony facial structure topped with short gray hair. She was wearing absolutely no makeup. I saw no beauty in her face. Yet when she came over to talk following my part on the show, she suddenly was one of the most naturally charming women I had ever met. There was no pretense, no phoniness. She used no studied compliments, no choreographed repartee, no effort to make me like her, and no fear of my disliking her. She had natural charm.

When we have nothing to hide, we can afford this openness. When we have no more need to be a power player, we can be gentle. I like to describe it as being a velvet-colored brick. We can have the innocence I see in men like Billy Graham. It is not naivete; it is a genuine innocence without guile.

We can have the gaiety, the zest of living, and not the pseudo, hyped-up enthusiasm that feels like it is sprayed out of a can. We can have a genuine zest for living and serenity, for we own ourselves and we are not for sale. Even more importantly, we are not trying to buying anyone.

The simple life is more than “simply living.” It takes consideration, evaluation, formulation, and action. When we take the true measure of what really counts we can move toward simplicity. We define our lifestyle and shut out all other voices that would draw us away.

This week think about: 1) How much do I want the simple life? 2) How much do I want the simple life? 3) What assessment should I be undertaking to look honestly at my life?

Words of Wisdom: “We can have a genuine zest for living and serenity, for we own ourselves and we are not for sale. Even more importantly, we are not trying to buying anyone.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Then he looked at wisdom and assessed its value; he established it and examined it closely.” (Job 28:27 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 21, 2021

Fred carried a reputation of integrity. He spoke, wrote, and mentored from a position of understanding the true responsibilities of leadership. Anyone who heard or read him were reminded of character and the critical role it plays in personal and professional decisions.

Freedom to Lead

Some leaders in business and in ministry I know feel trapped. “I’m called by God to do this, but I don’t like aspects of the job, and I don’t feel free to change them.” My experience with pastors is that many feel like slaves to the church with very few options. My corporate executive friends express the same emotions.
They do have emotional options, of course. They can choose to be dedicated, enthusiastic, willing to use their best talents, or they can drag their feet, be insolent, and hostile. Internal control is the often the only available control.

When feeling trapped Christians need to recognize they may be serving the wrong master. We are all called to be slaves of Christ, not of the church, or the business career. This freedom to serve Christ alone requires discipline. It comes with a price – all freedom does. One of Mary Alice’s friend commented, “Fred has more freedom to say what he really thinks than anybody else I know.” My wife replied, “He pays a price for it.” It is true. We who want to serve Christ as our master understand the cost. Bonhoeffer discussed the “Cost of Discipleship.”

The willingness to be disliked comes with the commitment to character and integrity. The world is uncomfortable with those whose standards exclude convenient compromise. When we make the decision to serve Christ alone, the price tag is high. It may cost a job, a relationship, or social position. Joshua asserted his leadership philosophy when he challenged the people to declare their loyalties. He wasn’t mandating but announcing when he said, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I was approached by a high profile Christian businessman who asked me to sit on his board. I said, “You don’t want me. I would see my responsibility to the organization, not to you. You couldn’t count automatically on my vote.” In saying this I was insisting on my freedom to discharge my responsibility. He quickly agreed I wasn’t the person he wanted on the board.

Freedom is not irresponsibility. I believe one reason for America’s productivity is the environment where responsible people live in freedom. The Puritan conscience is the central element: “you have a talent, you’re responsible for it, and one day you will stand before God and give an account for its use.”

This week think about: 1) How free do I currently feel? 2) What do I need to do to clarify my direction? 3) Who can help me more fully commit to Christ?

Words of Wisdom: “Freedom is not irresponsibility.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Or you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity to indulge your flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 14, 2021

Fred grew up moving frequently as his pastor father accepted different church assignments. They experienced financial hardships, but always kept their family compass focused on true North. During his lifetime he faced difficult career decisions, and setbacks. But he established a moral base early in life which served him well.

Setting Priorities for Troubled Times

Major troubles challenge our priorities. It also revises, and may I say – purifies. We decide what is really important. Trouble also gives us an opportunity to look at the situation realistically, assessing the odds. A friend called to tell me of his leukemia diagnosis. “I chose to ignore the spiritual things thinking I would deal with them later. I wasn’t in a hurry. Cancer changed that.”

Trouble makes us distill the essence of life. Let’s look at three ways:

1) What are the necessities? Too much of life is spent, or wasted, on the superficialities.
2) We ask ourselves, “Who am I becoming?” Often I ask someone if they are becoming who they want to be and many times the answer is “Oh, no, but I intend to – someday.”
3) How do I want to be remembered? What do I want on my tombstone? Fannie Crosby, author of thousands of hymns and choruses, asked her family for these words: “Aunt Fannie – she did what she could.”

Answering those three questions, we know how to spend our time, energy, and attention. Rather, we know how to invest, not spend, our resources. The answers will build a framework for reprioritizing. Good life management periodic inventories to insure we are making the “highest and best use.”

During the dark financial days in the 1980s, a couple came by the office to see me. They told of making a list of all their social relationships. Then they went back and created a second list of those who would be their friends if (and when) they went broke. This much shorter list represented their new list of true friends.

Their situation reminded me of the man who asked his wife, “Will you still love me after I’m bankrupt?” “Of course I will,” she answered sweetly, “and I will miss you, too.” She would not have been on the list of true friends.

In crucial situations it is important to assess the odds. When you are moving with the odds there is no question of progress, just the rate of progress. Some of my most successful friends work with the situations, not giving into the circumstances. My longtime friend Dr. Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary always his new students laugh when they give him a long story of incomplete assignments introduced with, “Under the circumstances…” Prof. always instantly responds, “Son, what are you doing under there?” When we are going against the odds it requires extra effort, more intense concentration, better vigilance, and keener intelligence because there is less margin for error.

Trouble clarifies; trouble verifies; and trouble makes a way to maturity.

This week think about: 1) Where are my troubles right now? 2) How am I growing from trouble? 3) Where am I finding strength and hope?

Words of Wisdom: “Trouble makes us distill the essence of life.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him.” (Ecclesiastes 8:6 ESV Bible)