Weekly Thought – July 17, 2018

Fred’s sense of responsibility made him attractive to all generations. His appeal to younger ones was found in his authenticity. In a 64 year old speech memo, Fred listed concerns he had for those coming behind. He challenged his contemporaries to seriously consider their legacy. This unusual posting gives a sobering view. Of course, Fred observed many positive contributions, but this was his litany of liabilities.

Colby Hurd, Fred’s great grandson, posted on Facebook thoughts very much Fred-like. “Society will crumble and continue to devolve over the next hundred years if the current generations do not solve the actual problems at hand.”

A Concerning Legacy

My friend Jim Lang often begins his talks to students with these words: “We have made a mess that you have inherited. We want to be here to help you navigate the muddy waters.” (editor’s comment: Jim Lang aptly describes what Fred saw over 60 years earlier).

Sadly, we have given the coming generations:

Religion without conviction; Science without conscience; Kinsey without marriage.

Excitement without achievement; Security without effort; Knowledge without wisdom.

Nightmares instead of dreams; Techniques without principles; Precepts without examples.

Freedom without responsibility; The present without promise; The future without fruition.

Marching orders without marching songs; Education without motivation; Prosperity without peace.

War without reason; Art without beauty; Brotherhood without Godhood.

Songs without souls; Enterprise without enthusiasm; Fission without feeling.

Fusions without faith.

As I think what I am leaving I want my family to love me, but not need me. I want them to mature into the principles Mary Alice and I have taught enabling them to successfully live on their own. I want to leave a legacy, not an inheritance – a legacy of faith, and hope.

I want my epitaph to be “he stretched others” because I want to use the gifts God has given me in a consistent, constant exercise of maturing. I want to go to bed seeing how much more I don’t know, respecting the greatness of God’s creation. May my awe expand.

This week think about: 1) What part am I playing in creating a healthy legacy for those behind me? 2) How faithful am I? 3) What positive correlation can I make for each of Fred’s concerns?

Words of Wisdom: “May my awe expand.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who obtains understanding.” (Proverbs 3:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 29, 2017

Fred was born September 1, 1915. His was a childhood marked by economic depression, physical disability, and many moves. But he was also exposed to ideas, dreams, and goals which helped define his adult life. As he writes to this young man asking about ways to live successfully, Fred adds several “Don’ts” to the list of “Do”s. We will look at several in the next few weeks.

Persevere

Don’t give up. Once I was working with the great lawyer J. Mack Swigert on a difficult labor relations case. It was more than difficult – it looked impossible to me. Feeling the need for a mattress to fall on in the event we lost, I started listing the good reasons we might not win. He stopped he cold and quickly.

“Fred, it’s better to win – you don’t have to explain a win, and you can’t explain a loss.” He added, smiling “And the fees are better and paid more quickly for a win.” Yes, we won.

Don’t spend time giving up on thinking of reasons you should give up. Did you ever wonder why the follow-through in golf is so important? The “high finish” is what every great pro promotes. It doesn’t have anything to do with hitting the ball. It comes after the ball is struck. Then why worry about the follow-through? Simple. Follow-through shows you didn’t start stopping before making contact with the ball. Most casual golfers stop (or at least start stopping) the club before it hits the ball. When you finish high you know you accelerated through the ball as you should. The follow-through evidences not quitting. Just so, it is important to develop winning habits that won’t quit at the crucial moment, not even subconsciously.
You need to file this principle in your mental motivational muscles.

I once held a seminar for young men who had lost heavily in a serious economic downturn. For most, it was their first time to lose. Up until now they experienced upward progress with little or no losses. Many were confused and shaky. For this reason we billed the seminar “for losers, not quitters.” Losing is a temporary fact; quitting is an attitude. The film mogul Mike Todd once said, “I have been broke many times, but never poor.” Broke is in the pocket; poor is in the mind.

I have gained a reputation as a problem solver. Do you know what is the key? I assume there is a solution. Thinking there is no answer leads to almost certain death of creativity. It dulls the mental juices. When you operate from the position of knowing there is a solution – you just have to find it, your creativity kicks in. Now, it doesn’t mean the answer is always easy, or even the one you originally sought, but it does free you up to consider all alternatives. Keep on keeping on – it is a great habit.

This week think about: 1) How creative am I in solving problems? 2) Who has influenced my ability to persevere? 3) What would help me develop my “stick-to-it”?

Words of Wisdom: “Broke is in the pocket; poor is in the mind.”

Wisdom from the Word: “As a result we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and afflictions you are enduring.” (2 Thessalonians 1:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 27, 2015

Fred was the master of duct tape . The house and garage bore witness to his creativity and “temporary fixes.” He knew, however, when to focus on a problem to a permanent solution. His ability to prioritize enabled him to accomplish much.

As you consider your year-end giving, would you think about BWF Project and the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute? We received a financial gift with the following note: “We always look forward to Tuesdays because that means Breakfast With Fred.” We so appreciate your prayers, notes, and support.

Paralysis of Perfection

Perfectionism does not work well in the imperfect realm of human organization. Any leader who insists on a goal his people cannot attain is foolish. The true perfectionist has a hard time seeing any job all the nothing at all. Psychologists find perfectionism is often a defense mechanism for those who fear failure.

Or to do nothing worth doing. There was an old torch song with the words, “All or nothing at all.” That is unhealthy in relationships and especially in the leadership of people and organizations.

Scholars can narrow their range of study to the point of obscurity. In becoming an authority on the finest points reduces the opportunity for broad recognition of mistakes. The sadness in this is that some of our superb academic minds become experts in areas that limit their application and general usefulness.

An executive’s aim is progress, not perfection. Zero-defect is an idea that years ago became a wasteful management fad. Not many organizations can afford the enormous cost in effort, money, and talent. To move from 99.44% to 100.00% wasn’t even worth it for Ivory Soap!

Since the proper measure of an executive is productivity through the economical use of resources (human and material), the ideal of perfection is counter-productive.

A friend owned a company which demanded excellence from all its employees. One project became excessive in its search for faultless performance. Finally, the CEO stepped in to say, “You are striving for a level of excellence that makes no sense… you are wasting my time, man hours, and affecting my profitability.” Excellence and perfection are not synonymous.

In the parable of the talents, Christ pointed out the management problem of perfectionistic paralysis. The one talent servant who did nothing because he was afraid to do the wrong thing was the forebearer of today’s cautious perfectionists in executive ranks.

This week think about: 1) When do I use perfectionism as an avoidance technique? 2) Where would a little duct tape suffice? 3) What helps me distinguish between excellence and perfectionism?

Words of Wisdom: “Excellence and perfection are not synonymous.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 21, 2014

Fred valued his faith. He consistently assessed the difference between ritual and reality. As he aged he understood the meaning of relationship. He surrounded himself with men and women who encouraged him in practicing the walk. He learned from their lives. Those who persevered through difficult times were particularly helpful to him.

This email concludes the rewards of perseverance.

Thank you for your consistent support of BWF and the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute.

Rewards of Perseverance (Part 4)

As we looked at perseverance, we noted several rewards of staying the course: 1) maturing as a person and in our faith; 2) deepening of our character because tribulation is the pathway; 3) turning our single experiences into a series of principles which overlay other situations; 4) finding purpose and concentration to move ahead with intentionality; 5) knowing ourselves so that decisions can be made from the standpoint of true understanding. There are two more: 2) strengthening our relationship with God and 2) experiencing joy. (more…)

Weekly Thought – October 14, 2014

Fred focused on understanding his giftedness and challenged others to do so. In mentoring a group of young high achievers he asked over 200 questions over the years of breakfast meetings. They are on the website www.breakfastwithfred.com. One of them is simply, “What is my uniqueness?” Four words which generate hours of contemplation and agitation. Fred made a close connection between giftedness and purpose; one’s being a manifestation of the other.

This week’s email is part three of a series describing the Rewards of Perseverance. The first three are: 1) Character 2) Maturity and 3) Experience. The next two are: 1) Finding purpose and concentration and 2) Self-knowledge.

Rewards of Perseverance (Part 3)

One of the advantages of adversity is the finding of purpose and concentration. Douglas MacArthur on V-J Day said, “It is my earnest hope that from this solemn occasion a better world shall emerge.” Trouble focuses the mind.

Some of us are trying to get away from difficulties. The sailboat needs breezes to move; the human being needs the winds of adversity for motivation. Our valleys test our ability to forget revenge and practice forgiveness. (more…)

Weekly Thought – October 7, 2014

Fred believed in organized thought. He listened to those who came to see him and quickly assessed their mental clarity. He often asked people to write down their ideas, proposals, or issues. He repeated to them what his mentor Maxey Jarman said to him, “Fred, writing burns off the fuzziness in our thinking.” On the other hand, Fred resisted writing for publication. He felt it “concretized his thoughts and gave him no room for adjustment or growth.” We at BWF are thankful he bowed to the leadership of those who encouraged him to capture his mental musings on paper.

This week’s email is a continuation of the rewards reaped through perseverance.

Rewards of Perseverance (Part 2)

Perseverance isn’t abstract, nor just a reward in itself. There are tangible beneficial results. Two previously covered are character development and maturity. The next one is extrapolating principles,

1) Extrapolating principles from experiences is extremely helpful. We all have a storage system for information, and for experiences, as well. When we learn to store them as principles and not just random happenings we are creating a knowledge base. Principles never change, but techniques do. (more…)

Weekly Thought – September 30, 2014

Fred’s ability to cut through fluff astounded some, and disturbed others. His preference for truth could be unsettling. But oh, how helpful it was. In speaking of tough times he observed, “One mistake Christians often make is assuming going through hard times equals automatic spiritual growth. After the furnace, some walk out as giants; others melt down to midget-size.” The next two emails are excerpted from his thinking on perseverance – and its rewards.

Thank you for praying as we seek to “stretch and bless the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.” We are asking for discernment, open doors, and eager invitations. The work continues to grow and our eagerness does, too.

Rewards of Perseverance

“So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

My Mother lived this verse before five boys and a preacher husband. She modeled perseverance in and out of season. We reaped the rewards of a Mother who endured.

In writing and speaking about perseverance, I repeatedly say, “Perseverance is a process.” It is a process, not just for the exercise, but for the rewards. They are both satisfying and enduring. (more…)

Weekly Thought – July 8, 2014

Fred had a power phrase that became well-known in the 1950s… “there’s magic in believing if you don’t believe in magic.”  He practiced PMA – positive mental attitude, but not before building a foundation on SMD – Strong mental discipline.

How many millennials do you know?  Are you interested in helping the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute begin intergenerational conversations?  Let us know by sending us a message on our Contact Us page.

Think Right

Some people say perseverance is what you do while you wait for the hearse; others say it is what you do while waiting for the bandwagon.  I am a realist – I am not a sugary sweet Pollyanna.  If you doubt this, just ask my family or some of the negotiators on the other side of the table.  I have no mental category for escapism.  But, I do know I can choose between positive and negative thoughts and behaviors.

The great reformer Martin Luther was known to battle depression.  One morning his wife came down dressed in black, wearing a mourner’s veil.  Her surprised husband asked, “Who is dead?” She somberly replied, “God, from the way you are acting.”  He taught us about grace; she instructed him in gratitude.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – June 17, 2014

Fred read slowly and carefully.  He carefully digested every line, writing notes in the margins of all his books.   Fred perused books for key ideas often outlining them on the inside cover so reviews could be made without rereading.  He believed reading, travel, and association were keys to personal and professional success.

Fred’s book Leading With Integrity is a practical approach to a critical topic.  An attractive packet of Integrity Cards is now available for a gift of $10 or more to BWF.  For more information, please contact Brenda@breakfastwithfred.com   They make a great platform for individual or group study.

Day by Day

Life has thrown you a curve and you want to pull the covers over your head.  Or maybe you go into a manic “futurism” exercise.  The prospects of tomorrow hold much more appeal than the painful realities of today.  Where does perseverance fit in?

One of the most interesting little books I repeatedly review is A Way of Life by Dr. William Osler.  He admonishes us to live in “day-tight compartments.”  This tiny volume is a talk delivered to the students at Yale.  He addressed them as “fellow students:” to emphasize the life-long search for knowledge.  He told them, “When I was attending the Montreal General Hospital, much worried as to the future, partly about the final examination, partly as to what I should afterwards, I picked up a volume of Carlyle and saw ;Our business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.  It was the starting point of a habit that has enabled me to utilize to the full the simple talent entrusted to me.” Osler showed me today is my only day.    (more…)

Weekly Thought – May 27, 2014

Fred consistently brought our thinking back to basics. He believed in simplicity. His mentor Maxey Jarman taught him the power of the pen for clarifying thoughts. If you can’t write it, you aren’t quite conversant with the idea.

Our Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute season is complete for 2014. We are in preparation for 2015. Please join us in prayer for the teams to assemble, financial and prayer support develop, and the doors open which will promote “stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders…to the glory of God.” As an intergenerational ministry of connection, we see God’s linkage between the millennials and the builders.

Back to Basics

Trouble opens our mind; perseverance opens us to learn. Enduring isn’t natural, but we can train our emotional and mental reflexes. Hanging tough can become a habit.

Tensile strength is the greatest degree of stress possible to bear without breaking apart. The critical dimension of this measurement is the point where the substance still bends, but does not deform. Bridges have load limits and we do, too. Many times we don’t know how much we can handle until we’re called upon to test our strength. Scripture confidently tells us God is with us through the most difficult of stresses. He is the ultimate structural engineer.

We must distinguish between patience and perseverance. One is passive; the other active. Certainly, there are times when we must be patient. There are times when we can do nothing but survive. But perseverance involves action. My friend, All-America, All-Pro Bill Glass, played 22 years of football without serious injury. He attributes this to the fact he was always so aggressive. “The man who gets run over generally gets hurt worse than the guy who is doing the running down,” he says.     (more…)