Pressing On

Weekly Thought – May 20, 2014

Fred regarded himself as “delightfully dependent,” in his bed-bound years “I wish I could take a walk” were words spoken without bitterness. He always said, “If you can do something about it, you have a problem. If you can’t, it is a face of life.” His immobility was just that – a fact of life. But he persevered.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is initiating a research project in conjunction with a Southern California group, studying millennials. Research shows that generation connects with those who are 70+. We will begin studying what they want from the connections, best communications systems, and conversational methods.

Pressing On

We live in troubled times. Trouble takes us back to the basics and opens our minds. Perseverance is one life’s fundamentals.
The composer/musician Rod McKuen wrote: “Talent is never enough in any field. It must be coupled with perseverance and recognition.” Effort varies more than talent. Those who lose their tenacity generally lose their position in life.

The great merchant, J.C .Penney believed,” Self-denial is the basic requirement for accomplishment in any field of endeavor. Success comes only to those who will follow the hard road, rather than the paths of ease and pleasure. The road to success is open to those who persevere.

As a boy, Isadore of Seville struggled with his lessons. Doing badly in school, he ran away. He sat down to rest beside a little spring that trickled over a rock. He noticed the great erosion caused by the small droplets of water. Right there, he decided to resume his studies, knowing even his small drops of water could wear away the big rock of education. He became one of the finest scholars of his day. His biographer said, “Those drops of water gave to Spain one of her greatest historians.” Job 14:19 reinforces this principle: “The water wears away the stone.” (more…)

Reverence

Weekly Thought – May 13, 2014

Fred demonstrated a deep reverence for God. His upbringing in the home of a Southern Baptist preacher gave him a Scriptural foundation which was enhanced by his personal relationship through Jesus. He and Mary Alice instilled great respect for the things of God into their three children.

May is the month of graduation. It is a time to pray for the students, faculty, and staff members of our colleges. We especially remember those who have hosted a Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute event: Houston Baptist University, Dallas Baptist University, Lindsey Wilson College, Alice Lloyd College, Emmaus Bible College, LeTourneau University, Asbury University, East Texas Baptist University, Palm Beach Atlantic University, and Taylor University. May these graduates take the power of God throughout the world changing lives and workplaces.

Reverence

I was once known as the man who did “crooked thinking on the straight and narrow.” I guess I did “out of the box thinking” before that concept was even created. In this light, I want to offer a verse which seems strange as a basis for reverence: “How can you say you love God you haven’t seen if you don’t love your brother you have seen?”

Here’s the Smith take on this verse. How can you revere the Creator if you don’t revere His creation? I hear speakers pontificate about reverence for the God then turn around and totally disrespect those He created.

One night I was visiting with Norman Cousins. He told me about a visit to Dr. Albert Schweitzer in Lamberene. As they walked up the hill to his modest house, a hen and her little chicks walked in front of them. Dr. Schweitzer took off his hat, bowed, and said, “Congratulations, my dear, I didn’t know it would be so soon.” His reverence for God’s creatures is great cause for admiration. (more…)

The Necessity of Urgency

Weekly Thought – May 6, 2014

Fred said, “I have never felt pressured by time.” He refused to give in to the press of extraneous demands which took control of his life. He clearly defined his schedule. This did not mean he lacked a sense of urgency. In fact, his ability to prioritize and to take action marked his life. He once asked pro athlete Craig Morton what it takes to be a great quarterback. His answer, “The ability to relax under fire.”

Sharing these bits of Fred-thought each week is a joy and a blessing. Thank you for your continual support and encouragement. We enjoy being part of your Tuesdays and hope the wisdom strengthens you.

The Necessity of Urgency

If you lack a sense of urgency, then you must have nothing important in your life.

Some of my retired friends tell me a problem they face is the flattening out of their priority list — everything becomes equally important. One of the great motivations of life is that things have to be done at a certain time and in a certain way… you develop urgency around them. Without this, you lose zest in life. The study saying executive men have a life expectancy of 19 months past retirement reflects the lack of urgency. Retirees who engage in activities which allow them to insert urgency and prioritization into their lives out live the charts.

It is critical to discipline our urgency. This is the difference between healthy drive and panic which is one of the unhealthiest of our emotions. My entire life I have tried to live with the maxim: “Don’t panic.” This allows me the freedom to operate in tight situations with clarity.

I remember having prepared very intensely for a talk to the Texas Bankers’ Convention. The evening before, I reached into my briefcase for the presentation. To my horror, there wasn’t a single piece of paper in there. I realized I left the file in the trunk of my car which was at the dealership for repair and totally unavailable. (more…)

Wonderment

Weekly Thought – April 29, 2014

Fred never tired of learning. He stayed open to seeing life. Even in his older age, he constantly asked questions, pursued wisdom, and explored the corners of his universe.

These Weekly Thoughts are part of our legacy which is the BWF Project, Inc. We began as a way to “relevantly communicate the lifework of Fred Smith, Sr.” The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is an extension of that mission by focusing on those coming behind. We thank you for your consistent support.

Wonderment

Early one morning I listened to Carlos Fuentes, the South American novelist. He described the heart of a novel as “amazement.” I stay open to this concept all the time – I call it wonderment. It means looking openly at those things which cause within me a sense of awe and worship. Someone has said that the true mark of genius is not creating awe in others, but in being awed.

Most of us have a tendency to be cynical, closed-minded, disinterested, even bored. Concentrating on our knowledge rather than our ignorance, we lose our sense of awe. I like to think of “making friends with my ignorance.” What I do not know is my future playground. I don’t need to compare what I know to others; I need to compare what little I do know to the vast amount I do not. The more we learn, the more we realize we have to learn.

The more you look for wonder, the more you see. It’s a discipline. Too many people get jaded and say, “so what?” That is not the Biblical spirit. The Apostle Paul didn’t say, “so what?” – he said, “so THAT.” Paul had a vision and a sense of wonder in what God was doing. (more…)

Lilt For Life

Weekly Thought -April 22, 2014

Fred saw humor everywhere. He loved word plays, puns, “corn” as well as sophisticated wit. In his later years of incapacitation and immobility, he entertained himself by running a mental catalogue of punch lines. He had hundreds which he held in his stunning memory. He thought of humor as life’s lubricant. He believed too many people were running without enough oil to keep the friction down and the RPMs up.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute at Taylor University is April 24, 25. Your prayer support for the men and women who bring wisdom, joy, and love for Jesus is greatly appreciated.

Lilt For Life

Life needs continual aeration. When it gets heavy, it settles down on us and needs to be lightened up. People should find inspiration and joy in their faith, not just new layers of guilt and condemnation. Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life.” True, Christ came to convict of sin, but the Christian paradox is that in this chaotic, tragic world, we can enjoy a life of adventure and excitement.

Many people live with deep troubles. Someone estimated that about six out of ten of those who sit in church pews have major hurt in their lives. Therefore, I appreciate those speakers, teachers, and pastors who lift people’s spirits with genuine, inspiration and hope. Of course, spiritual aeration must be the “blessed hope.”

The message of God’s grace lets us know we are forgiven, we are free, we have the fellowship of the body of Christ, and an inheritance immortal soul. (more…)

Dear Howard

Weekly Thought – April 15, 2014

Fred commented: “Parenting changes from managerial to relational as the family grows older.” Later on, he remarked, “I have moved from being an authority figure to a consultant with my children.” He enjoyed that role. As an executive, he had difficulty leaving his management style at the office, but he tried. Especially as he aged, he appreciated the value of relationship for its sake alone. This week’s thought is unusual – it is a letter written from Fred to Howard E. Butt, a life-long friend.

Keep on praying for Taylor University and the strong team gathering on the campus April 24, 25. Pray for those who come from Illinois, Ohio, Kentucky, and Texas to participate in our inter-generational ministry of connection.

Dear Howard

Howard – I’m beginning to see the family in a very different light. The family’s primary function is a relationship to create loving relations and secondarily a production unit for developing mature individuals. It is different from the plant, where production is primary and relation is secondary. One hopes, and I believe it is possible, to have both functions running together smoothly, each complementing the other. However, until we understand which is primary and which is secondary, we are not able to make a good, objective decision when one conflicts with the other.

Howard, you can’t believe what is happening as I’m writing these words to you. Mary Alice is knocking on the door, wanting to know if I want to go to McDonald’s with Brenda, Mary Helen, and our four grandchildren. I believe the Lord is testing me as to my sincerity, for you know that isn’t exactly what I want to do right now. Yet, if I’m going to change according to my new knowledge, I must take leave of you and finish the letter when I get back. (more…)

Family Magnetism

Weekly Thought – April 8, 2014

Fred grew up as the third boy in a family of five. His Dad was a Southern Baptist preacher who pastored in the mill district of North Nashville during the depression. His Mother was a strong woman who fed their family of seven (and everyone else who came to the door) by watering down the soup and stretching the vegetables. He met his wife Mary Alice in English class when they were twelve, but didn’t date until after high school. They raised three children and the family now includes 6 grandchildren and 13 great grandchildren.

Your continuing support for the Weekly Thought and the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is deeply appreciated. Please pray for the event at Taylor University April 24, 25. The team goes to “stretch and bless the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.”

Family Magnetism

A family is like a cluster of steel balls held together by a strong, unifying magnetism. Each member is separate, yet together, drawn by the magnetism in each ball and held by the force of the whole. The cluster is flexible, not permanently joined to one piece or another. Families, too, should be gathered together by the force of love while holding individuality and not permanently affixed in position. This allows for growth and change.

As the families grow, the steel pieces are added, and the force of love encompasses them all. The magnetism is not a closed universe, but expands as the family model changes. The addition of more children, in-laws, and grandchildren just stretches the reach of the magnetism.

In the magnetized “ball cluster” concept, love’s magnetism does not restrict movement, growth, individual responsibility, or our identity. If something happens to one, the others coagulate, forming a new cluster.

In contrast, hostility pushes the pieces apart and turns the magnetism into non-magnetism and polarized relations. (more…)

When Friendships Die

Weekly Thought – April 1, 2014

Fred lived a long life so he saw the death of many friends. He experienced loss. In his later years a friend cut ties with Fred because he misunderstood a situation. They were never reconciled. Fred suffered this break. Interestingly enough, he dealt with it using the same steps he wrote about 30 years earlier.

Often we hear “Fred’s words hit home this week. They were just what I needed.” It reinforces what Fred always said, “Principles never change – just the illustrations.” It is our privilege to keep Fred’s principle-based thinking available.

When Friendships Die

When friendships die – and they do – life goes on. It should go on in the best way possible. Neither should stagger through life as if they lost a limb. I have found these seven helpful:

1) Admit it, without recrimination. When we are sure a person is dead, we bury the corpse. We go through the stages of grief, and expect to end up as mature individuals. The loss of a friendship prompts a grief response. Placing blame hinders healthy healing.

2) Don’t let the rejection make enemies. Just as we are honored to be chosen as a friend, we are deeply hurt to be rejected. Though it may be natural, we cannot allow the meaner nature make an enemy of our former friend.

3) Keep confidences received during friendship. Your very self-respect depends on this one. Divulging confidences ends in guilt-producing consequences. And frankly, such actions can lead to reprisals. The death of a friendship is bad enough without opening doors for continuing bitterness. (more…)

The Importance of Masks

Weekly Thought – March 25, 2014

Fred believed in the value of psychic space. He carefully respected these lines we draw to protect ourselves. A woman once came up to Fred after a speech to ask a question. Fred responded with another query. She expressed great anger. A psychiatrist friend explained he had violated her psychic space. Friendships negotiate space and the masks we wear to fortress our inner selves.

Want to know more about the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute? There are two great places to understand more: 1) Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute page on Facebook and 2) bwfli.com See faces, read stories, and acquaint yourself with Fred’s ongoing legacy.

The Importance of Masks

Dealing with masks is a critical element of friendship. They must be understood and appreciated.

We all wear masks. We all hide areas of our lives from public view. When we think of them we sometimes feel guilt, anxiety, hurt, and even fear as we think about being exposed. We don’t want everyone to see or know the deepest parts of ourselves.

Friendship allows us to begin the process of unmasking. We take test drives on lifting the mask, judging the reaction of another – dipping our toe into the psychological waters. “Are they shocked? Are they empathetic? Are they nonchalant?” We peek out little by little.

Masks are like bandages. Small ones cover scrapes; rolls of gauze cover serious wounds. We create them to adequately protect the sensitive part of our life – the part we don’t want to open to criticism or ridicule. We don’t even want to lift the bandage to see the hurt ourselves. (more…)

Keeping Confidences

Weekly Thought – March 18, 2014

Fred was asked the “secret” of his friendships with so many substantial and influential people, especially since he had no educational background or social pedigree that would create those natural alliances. “I want nothing from them and they can trust me.” He once said, “When I die years of confidences will go with me.”

He valued the confidence of others, as well. His faithful secretary Margie Keith listened to his thinking for hundreds of hours as she transcribed his tapes. She never disclosed his thoughts. Last month Margie died in Floyd, VA. She will be missed and her contribution to our ongoing work can never be overestimated. Please remember her sister Wilma Reed who faithfully cared for her.

Keeping Confidences

Strong friendships involve confidences. The giving and receiving of them is the true test of the relationship. They grow in proportion to the confidences which we share with one another. This demonstrates trust. Therefore, true friendships grow slowly.

Within each of us is the desire to be known, but each of us does not have the same ability or willingness. Often it is easier to know others than to be known by others. When I say “know” I mean a deep understanding. Often it is easy to create temporary relationships which look like trusting and knowing, but are actually just passing by. It is easy to feign attachment.

One of the key elements of sharing confidences is knowing how strongly someone feels about the subject being shared. There are times when something is publicly shared without malice, but just out of misunderstanding the depth and seriousness of the confidence. Friendships can be jeopardized or even ended by careless exposure. (more…)

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