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  • Weekly Thoughts (Page 5)

Asking Questions

Weekly Thought – January 21, 2025

Fred used questions in consulting, mentoring, and personal development. He also used them as channel markers in his private search for integrity. This week we feature ten which he frequently asks.

Asking Questions

1. Do my motives have integrity? Integrity starts with motive. Rationalization does more to pollute integrity of motive than any other factor. Ends never justify illegal, unjust, or unethical means.
2. Am I ego-driven or responsibility motivated? Ego-driven people satisfy their ego from the cause while responsibility-motivated people sacrifice their ego to the cause.
3. Do I want the truth? It requires a tough mind and a strong heart to love truth. Integrity demands tying to know and love truth for its own sake.
4. Does my will control my feelings? Leadership demands a strong will – not a selfish or stubborn will- but a determined will to do what needs doing. By will we overcome our yen for pleasure and our satisfaction with mediocrity.
5. What is my source of joy? Hope expresses itself n joy. My personal definition of joy is “adequacy.” The struggle is finding a true security and complete adequacy in authentic, not synthetic sources.
6. Is my passion focused? Passion brings purpose unity, intensity, and concentration, assuring accomplishment. Passion gives depth, keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity. Our lives become a welder’s torch rather than a grass fire.
7. How grateful am I? Gratitude expresses our vulnerability, and our dependence on others. It is an emotion with a short shelf life because we don’t like to be indebted.
8. Am I the pump or the pipe? The Holy Spirit if the pump and I am the pipe. The pipe never gets tired. When I try to substitute my power for God’s I become powerless, dissatisfied even frantic, and defeated.
9. Is grace real for me? When refuse grace, I am playing God and trying to punish myself. Grace brings freedom.
10. How is my relationship to God? When I wake up in the middle of the night, face myself, and assess my true connection, what is the bottom line? Am I growing in my desire to know Him? Am I thirsty for time with Him? Trusting Him is a measure of relationship.

This week carefully consider: 1) What questions do I ask myself to establish my integrity quotient? 2) Which of Fred’s questions hits home right now? 3) Who would benefit from their own audit?

Words of Wisdom: “He used questions as channel markers in his own private search for integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May integrity and godliness protect me, for I rely on you.” (Psalm 25:21 NET Bible)

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Measuring Character

Weekly Thought – January 14, 2025

Fred held a principle firmly in his personal and professional life. In his book, Leading with Integrity wrote:” Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity. Fortunately, our character can be strong without being perfect.”

Measuring Character

Leaders are measured by their public and private character. Before creating an association or hiring I consider three points:

1) Personality affects the way we react to pressure and desires: the introvert must be drawn out to discover the response while most extroverts must be reined in by themselves or others;
2) Testing the strengths and weaknesses prevents surprise: Knowing others allows the leader to develop strengths and bolster weaknesses.
3) Past history is a predictor of the future: Asking co-workers, family, and friends can be enlightening. Often, they know our character better than they know our talents.

I keep three principles in mind when I evaluate my own character:

1) Find a trusted and valued objective resource: Biblical truth is a valuable yard stick for me.
2) Check for purity of purpose and transparency: An aide to General Robert E. Lee always closed his letters with YTCO which stood for “Yours To Count On.” These words are an indication of strong character.
3) Tongue control, ego management, obedience, and confession are all aspects of a strong character. For me, a healthy character is a sign of emotional maturity which is my goal.

Character strengthens under pressure, suffering, loss, tribulation, and failures. The mind gains experiences and the heart grows convictions. Character is the element that makes us stand when we want to run, to live when it seems easier to die, and enables us to fight for the right – even in a losing cause.

This week carefully consider: 1) What principles do I use in assessing character in others, and in myself? 2) Who is a model of good character for me? 3) When do I have to depend on my own principles to avoid making bad decisions?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “An honorable man makes honorable plans; honorable character gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 NET Bible)

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Measuring the Role of Relationship

Weekly Thought – January 7, 2025

Fred annually did a “whole person” analysis and audit. He considered the various facets of his life, measured the goals from the year just completed and anticipated his direction for the new one. He looked at his relationship to himself, to others, and to God.

Measuring the Role of Relationship

Relationships are obviously both the personal and professional concern of the leader.

First, your relationship to yourself. Jean Paul Sartre, the French philosopher, was once quoted as saying, “If you are lonely when you are alone, you’re in poor company.”

I visited a magnificent home built n a remote part of the Colorado Rockies. It was so quiet you could hear the paint drying on the wall. I thought to myself: “Only a person at peace with himself could own a home like this.” In that kind of magnificent quiet, you have time to be alone with yourself. And you would have to be able to enjoy the company. You’d have to be satisfied with the way you are growing. You could not have your external success eating up your internal being.

That’s one of the tests of maturity: the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.

Second, relationship to others. Am I increasingly able to spend time profitably with people who are different? Immature individuals can’t enjoy people who don’t think differently. They prefer people just like themselves. Maturity is being comfortable with diversity.

Third, we must evaluate the development of our relationship with God. Is my walk with God more comfortable? More intimate? More real?
I had a friend who lost contact with God. The problem was this: instead of confessing, he was explaining. God is not very interested in our explanations. He knows why we do what we do. He doesn’t need our rationalizing. But, I have found, God is a marvelous listener to our confessions.

I have discovered I can explain things to God for years, but only when I get around to saying, “Mea culpa – I am guilty,” does my relationship with Him begin to grow again.

(By the way, I look at my relationship to my family, goals I have for family development as well as growing in our knowledge of each other. In my audit I look at my mental, financial, and physical “state of the union.” On January 1 I write all my goals down and the next New Year’s Day I honestly appraise the progress (or lack thereof) with an honest, transparent eye before setting goals for the next year).

This week carefully consider: 1) How would an annual personal audit benefit me? 2) Which of the three areas of relationship is the biggest challenge for me? 3) Where do I want to show the most progress this year?

Words of Wisdom: “The ability to be alone and at peace with yourself is a test of maturity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason we also, from the day we heard about you, have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” (Colossians 1:9 NET Bible)

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Walking the Fine Line

Weekly Thought – December 31, 2024

Fred “broke out in hives” (as he would say) when being manipulated. He highly regarded his good friend Zig Ziglar whose healthy motivation helped hundreds of thousands during Zig’s lifetime. Those who “worked others over to get their own way” received no applause from Fred.

Walking the Fine Line

We all agree motivation is good and manipulation is bad. But sometimes only a fine line separates the two, and it’s difficult to always know which side you’re on. The issues aren’t always clear-cut – what may be a legitimate case of motivation in one situation could, with a different intent, be manipulation.

For example, Mary Alice hid eggplant in a casserole to introduce it to me knowing I said I would never eat it. I complimented her dinner preparation: “This new dish is really good. What is it?” When she told me I had to decide if I was being motivated, or manipulated. Her motivation was a key factor. And besides, it really was good!

A psychiatrist friend chided me one night by saying, “You businessmen mistake manipulation for motivation. The difference is you can substitute the word ‘Thirst’ for motivation, but not for manipulation.” He was saying unless you are satisfying someone’s thirst, you are probably on the wrong side of the line. I can motivate with integrity because I am bringing to consciousness a genuine thirst.

I was motivated in my appreciation of Dixieland music, for example by Senator S.I. Hayakawa. He was an absolute authority. During one evening we began a discussion about the subtleties. He played on my intellectual interest to attract me to Dixieland. Later I realized that he, an excellent teacher and semanticist, had instilled a deeper interest.

At no time during our conversation did he expect my compliments on his teaching skills. He never said, “I’m going to try to intrigue you.” He simply intrigued me. He saw the thirst. He motivated and enlivened an interest I already had. He deepened it.

This week consider: 1) How clear am I on the distinction between motivation and manipulation? 2) Who has recognized thirst in me and motivated me to grow? 3) When am I tempted to slide into manipulation?

Words of Wisdom: “I can motivate with integrity because I am bringing to consciousness a genuine thirst.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Take note of the one who has integrity. Observe the upright. For the one who promotes peace has a future.” (Psalm 37:37 NET Bible)

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Criteria for Effective Training

Weekly Thought – December 24, 2024

Fred, as a young man, received his early corporate experience at General Shoe Corporation (GENESCO) in the personnel department. His understanding of human behavior was soon recognized and gave him opportunities to quickly advance. The efficacy of training was a particular expertise. This week’s piece offers excellent counsel for trainers.

Criteria for Effective Training

In every aspect of business it is important to establish measurements. This is especially true for those responsible for training. Here are five questions I have found to be helpful in evaluation.

1) Is this job fitting well with his or her talents? If the answer is no, then I have little possibility of maximizing the person’s potential. It is my job to make sure job, talents, and temperament mesh. For example, putting a loner into a team operation will grind the gears long term.

2) How much willingness to do the job am I seeing? I watch to see if the person is basically enthusiastic about opportunity. If the job is simply something to fill time and provide a paycheck, I don’t expect much.

3) How consistent is the person’s effort? Sporadic effort is not what I want. A friend once told me, “The amateur plays well when he feels like it; the pro performs well whether he feels like it or not.” Long-term, consistent, day-in, day-out effort is what pays off in an organization.

4) What are the objective results? A lot of people give activity, talk, and excuses but produce little. Some get by for years without really producing. I know a man who is regularly praised. When I asked what specifically was highly regarded. “Oh, he’s got personality. He is such a likable guy.” But bottom line: he has never produced anything.

5) Is this person willing to be evaluated? I am not going to spend time developing somebody who resists having his results measured. Those who let me know they are self-evaluated and refuse feedback are not candidates for upward progress.

This week think carefully about: 1) How can I apply these questions in my work, my parenting, my community/church relationships? 2) Which question is most helpful in my current situation? 3) What can I do to help someone who is growing?

Words of Wisdom: “Long-term, consistent, day-in, day-out effort is what pays off in an organization.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A disciple is not greater than his teacher, but everyone when fully trained will be like his teacher.” (Luke 6:40 NET Bible)

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Vision Gathering

Weekly Thought – December 17, 2024

Fred thoroughly enjoyed watching talented people maximize their gifts. He urged everyone to discover and develop their “uniqueness.” He especially appreciated those who could take an idea, mobilize others around it, and see it realized.

Vision Gathering

Leaders coagulate followers around the vision, not themselves. This is where we see integrity. Drawing followers to the person and not the vision is embezzlement. Using personal magnetism as a means of getting things done is, to me, manipulation. Genuine leadership gathers people around the purpose of the organization. Toward that end leaders must recognize:

1) Distinction between decisions and commitments. The first is short-term, the second is long term. Decisions can be for a limited project while commitments are aimed at the ultimate purpose. Both are necessary. People committed only to the long-term vision and not to specific tasks will not accomplish much. For an organization to thrive, the leader’s job is to produce the activity which then moves forward the overall vision. The leader must move people from decision to commitment.

Wise leaders know that when they get a decision, even a group decision, they have not gotten commitment. One of the worst mistakes a leader can make is getting a group to decide something they will not commit to. In the emotional moment of decision you can assume they are committed, but if not, things will fall apart.

2) The “driving wheels.” There’s a difference between people who provide the momentum in an organization and those who ride. Wise leaders know that if they get the driving wheels committed, they will bring the others along. Without the commitment of the driving wheels, the organization moves with an unsteady rhythm.

The best way to persuade the driving wheels if not with emotion, but with comprehension. My close friend, Jack Turpin (founder and president of Hallmark Electronics) gave a speech on sustained excellence. He has no lasting respect for short-term excellence. “Anybody who can reach excellence should try to sustain it,” he said. He knows how hard that is. He went on to say the only way people will perform excellently over the long term is if they fully comprehend what they are doing. A decisions based on emotional fervor won’t last; a fully comprehended commitment will.

Leaders must be honest about the vision, the effort necessary, and the reasons for the commitment.

This week carefully consider: 1) Am I clear about the importance of both decisions and commitment? 2) What important commitments have I made? 3) How am I doing sustaining excellence?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders must be honest about the vision, the effort necessary, and the reasons for the commitment.”

Wisdom from the Word: “O Lord, teach me how you want me to live. Then I will obey your commands. Make me wholeheartedly committed to you.” (Psalm 86:11 NET Bible)

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Leadership is Serving God, not the Sheep

Weekly Thought – December 10, 2024

Fred addressed a large group of pastors in the early 1980s on leadership, by their request. His talk became part of a chapter in his book, Learning to Lead. As you will see, it stimulated much conversation in an era when “servant leadership” held sway throughout church life.

Leadership is Serving God, not the Sheep

You invited me to talk with you about “Pastor as leader.” The right concept of leadership is vital. Some people distinguish between the theoretical and the practical as if theory is not practical. A friend cleared this up for me: “Nothing is as practical as a correct theory.”

Currently one of the most popular concepts is “servant leadership.” Properly understood, it’s a helpful concept, but it has been terribly abused. The Christian leader is primarily a servant of God, not of each sheep. You are a servant or God, given to absolute obedience to what He says. To extend that to say you are the servant of each and every sheep is a fallacy. Let me be clear, this doesn’t mean you aren’t the prayerful undershepherd, but the Chief Shepherd is God Himself.

Steve Brown said he nearly became neurotic when he thought he worked for the church because that meant he had five hundred bosses. When your boss calls in the middle of the night to tell your something, you’re supposed to do it. If everybody in the church is your boss and you’re their servant, you’ve got an absolutely intolerable situation.

If the pastor’s gift is leadership (as evidenced by having followers) then the major expression of their service is leading. Scripture tells us that those who receive it are to lead diligently.

This position is difficult for some pastors to accept because of their personality makeup. Some pastors prefer serving people. Leaders who say, “Anything you need, let me know. I’ll cut your lawn; I’ll drive your kids to school” are not serving God, nor are they offering the best to their people. They are failing to understand the doctrine of spiritual gifts. We are to carefully identify our gifts and then operate within them.

The gift of leadership, as all the others, comes with challenges. If you, as pastor, or organizational head define your comfort zone by being liked, respected, and appreciated, leadership is difficult. If the gifts of helps or mercy are foundational, then you serve a great, essential purpose, but the discomforts of leading are probably an indicator that leadership is not your primary gift.

This week think carefully about: 1) Do Fred’s words from the 1980s have relevance for me today? 2) How clearly have I defined my spiritual gifts? 3) Where has Fred challenged my thinking about servant leadership?

Words of Wisdom: “If the pastor’s gift is leadership (as evidenced by having followers) then the major expression of their service is leading.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore, you shepherds, listen to the LORD’s message.” (Ezekiel 34:9 NET Bible)

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The Discipline of Freedom

Weekly Thought – December 3, 2024

Fred recognized the relationship between strong leadership and character. His observation that when leaders fail it is most often the result of character flaws, not lack of competence. When discussing character, Fred always turned to the importance of discipline.

The Discipline of Freedom

In my experience many men and women feel trapped in their work. During a weekend with young, growing pastors I repeatedly heard, “I’m called by God to do this, but I don’t like certain aspects of the job, and I don’t feel free to change them. I feel like a slave to the church.”

Slavery comes with very few options. Viktor Frankl established a school of psychotherapy based on his belief: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” During this retreat I talked about emotional options which illustrate Frankl’s thought. Those who feel trapped can be dedicated, enthusiastic, willing to use their best talents, or they can drag their feet, be insolent and difficult.

When feeling trapped, the key is to recognize you’re serving the wrong master. “Pastor, you are called to be the “bond-servant of Jesus Christ,” as Paul says. Too many confuse fealty to the church for allegiance to Christ. The freedom to serve Christ alone, however, requires discipline. It comes with a price – all freedom does.

A lot of people try to lease freedom instead of buying it. Leasing is trying to find small ways you can please others without totally giving yourself away. Wanting to serve Christ alone suffers with this lease agreement. The price appears to be less, but the benefit is certainly diminished.

Freedom is not irresponsibility; it is an environment in which you discharge your responsibilities. The combination of political and religious freedom combined with the Puritan work ethic is the foundation of America’s productivity. They believed we each have a talent for which we are responsible. They taught that one day we would stand before God and be judged for the use of that talent.

The more total we can make our commitment to Christ, the freer we are. We discipline our desires. Our natural inclination for freedom without responsibility is tempered. We understand and operate within the environment of freedom applying the restraints which lead to maturity and growth.

This week carefully think about: 1) How do I define freedom? 2) What price have I paid for freedom? Financial, vocational, relational, spiritual? 3) What am I willing to change if I feel trapped?

Words of Wisdom: “Freedom to serve Christ alone comes with a price – all freedom does.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is present, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17 NET Bible)

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Learn the Value of Administration

Weekly Thought – November 26, 2024

Fred appreciated ideas. His idea of “great fun” was gathering with others who were intrigued with thinking about life as he was. A weekend of friends in Houston served as an impetus for “The Twenty-Five.” Those who gathered in Texas agreed to send an article, idea, or quote to each of the others once a month. A Dallas CEO had an entire file cabinet drawer dedicated to these offerings. One of the ideas which sparked conversation was the difference between management and leadership.

Learn the Value of Administration

Leadership and management are two different skill sets. Many times good leaders are not good administrators. Likewise, good managers are not always leaders.

Peter Drucker, the man known as the father of modern management, defined the difference as: “Managers focus on doing things right, while a leader focuses on doing the right things.” Another distinction by Peter Drucker is “Efficiency is doing things right; effectiveness is doing the right things.”

Our country had a President who was an exceptional manager. As an executive he was known to read 300 pages of reports before breakfast each morning. He was certainly the best-informed chief executive, but struggled to provide leadership by getting people to follow him.
Other Presidents demonstrated great leadership qualities, while failing to excel in the day to day details. Many of these had strong communication skills which amplified their acceptance as a leader the people chose to follow.

Even if a leader is not strong in administration, he/she must recognize the crucial value of these skills. Bringing top notch administrative skills to the team is critical, whether it is leading a country or an organization. If the leader delegates widely, the principal of “appreciate it, develop it, and then leave it alone.” Picking the right people with the right skills is the key.

Oversupervision is the great sin often committed against managers. The leader’s task is to say, “Here’s where we are, and there’s where we ought to go.” The administrator’s task is to determine how to get there.

A successful organization has leadership and management. You lead people but you manage work.

Carefully consider this week: 1) Am I more gifted in leadership or management? 2) How am I developing my skill and contributing to my organization? 3) Who could I help with the distinction between leadership and management?

Words of Wisdom: “You lead people and manage work.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Moses’ father-in-law said to him, ‘What you are doing is not good! You will surely wear out, both you and these people who are with you, for this is too heavy a burden for you, you are not able to do it by yourself.’” (Exodus 18:17,18 NET Bible)

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Values or Virtues

Weekly Thought – November 19, 2024

Fred used a tape recorder to capture his observations and thoughts. As technology changed, his collection grew… all the way from a giant box housing a reel to reel to the last one which was a small handheld downloadable to a computer file. The familiar refrain “period – paragraph” let everyone in the family know he was in his office taping mini essays to be transcribed by his faithful secretary. This week features two examples.

Values or Virtues

Unless our values are rooted in scriptural virtues they may be moral or ethical, but they are not Christian. Our society is full of slogans, ads, and even sermons urging us to return to family values, historical models, and proper ethics. But rarely are we challenged to return to Biblical virtues.

We talk about values because subconsciously we are exercising control as we choose our standards and values. Biblical virtues, however, exert authority over us and come from revealed truth. They are in control not under our control.

Returning to even the best human values is not good enough – we must return to virtue, for in doing so we are returning to God.

(“MK, period, paragraph. New mini essay”)

What Are You Becoming?

Those around us judge us by our accomplishment. They know what we have done, built, titles we have worn, honors we have garnered, and who we are. But on the inside we continually ask ourselves: Am I content with who I am becoming or who I have become?

In East Texas we have the large pine beetle. When it dies it remains clinging to the bark of the pine tree. Its insides dry up, and thought the body of the insect appears to be alive. But an approach and touch reveals nothing but a hollow shell.

Occasionally I meet someone whose life has evaporated. He has become a walking hollow shell. His living has used up his life.

This week carefully consider: 1) What idea am I thinking about right now? 2) How can I assess my direction? 3) Who can help me evaluate my progress?

Words of Wisdom: “Am I content with who I am becoming?”

Wisdom from the Word: “And to all these virtues add love, which is the perfect bond.” (Colossians 3:14 NET Bible)

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