What is Success?

Weekly Thought-September 27, 2022

Fred met many business people at Cindi’s Deli in Dallas at 6:00am for breakfast. When our project began men were asked, “What do you want to hear from Fred?” Every single one began answering with “When I had breakfast with Fred, he said… ” Thus, the project founded in 2004 was named BWF Project, and the leadership event for Christian higher education became the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. For thirteen years we introduced students to Fred’s ideas on right thinking.

What is Success?

Let’s define success. Many people misunderstand it.

For Christians, success can never be measured by money. When people say to me, “That man’s worth ten million dollars” that tells me he is wealthy, but it doesn’t prove he’s successful. In some cases it could illustrate the opposite. For instance, if Mother Teresa,(whom I consider a tremendous success) confessed she had personal assets of over one million dollars I would think she was a hypocrite. Money would prove her a fraud, not a success.

Success can never be measured by numbers, regardless of what the numbers are. I know churches which measure budget numbers, membership, and size of the facility. One unfortunate measure is the number of young men and women who enroll in seminaries after being encouraged by home churches. I read 40% of many seminaries are populated with students encouraged to get a theological degree as they search for the will of God.

The measurement of success is simply the ratio of talents used to talents received. This definition encompasses the process of growth through the focused, purposeful development. Are you maturing? Are you clear on your strengths and gifts? What percentage of your talents are you using with intentionality? If you can answer these questions in the positive, be glad — you are successful.

Some of us tend to think “I could have been a success, but I never had the opportunity. I wasn’t born into the right family, or I didn’t have the money for more education.” But when we measure success by the ratio definition it eliminates those frustrations. I have known people with limited resources who maximized their equation, had a great sense of responsibility, a love for God, and other people. Out of all that flowed a full use of talents.

At GENESCO I promoted a young man from machine operator to lower management he wanted the challenge. Shortly afterward, he was killed in an automobile accident near Lewisburg, TN. Maxey Jarman, the CEO, wanted to go to the funeral. We drove seventy-five miles each way. On the way back Maxey said, “I believe Bill was one of the most successful men we have had in the company.” I said, “He was an hourly employee and was just promoted to a small managerial job. Why would you say that?”
“Because he used what he had.”

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I measure success? 2) What is motivating me to grow? 3) Who encourages me to maximize my potential?

Words of Wisdom: “The measurement of success is simply the ratio of talents used to talents received.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The LORD grants success to the one whose behavior he finds commendable.” (Psalm 37:23 NET Bible)

Fear

Weekly Thought – September 20, 2022

Fred understood the value of disciplined emotions. He did not deny their presence, but respected their role. He acutely analyzed them with objectivity. He had a particular gift of “standing outside himself” and doing personal assessments. In so doing he sought to know two things: his constructive strengths and his destructive weaknesses. Managing then became a process.

Fear

Dr. Clayton Bell, when pastor of Highland Park Presbyterian Church, had the chilling responsibility of telling one of his parishioners her husband, daughter son, and son-in-law were killed in their private plane. He suggested she keep a diary of her experience. She published a magnificent record of this intimate encounter with catastrophe. It has been an exceptional blessing to many. Mrs. May faced her fears honestly and dealt constructively with them. In so doing others have been enabled to deal with their fears.

In sharing our fears, we are able to overcome them.

All our fears are not directed toward death. Most are everyday, garden variety fears. Those nagging fears of self-doubt and discouragement… fears of sickness, and fears of loneliness all pull at us. While we know “God has not given us the spirit of fear” (the constant feeling of fear), we still must fight against those destructive fears which rob us of the “love, power, and sound mind” as He promised.

Some of our fears are the natural reaction to hurt and inadequacy. They are not phantoms; they are real. Therefore, we must deal realistically, not running in terror or striking out blindly without a plan.

It is only when fear becomes a hindrance to our concentration, an impediment to our normal function of enjoying life, that we have to attack it. Oftentimes we wait and it goes away. If it doesn’t, then we are responsible to keep it manageable.

Some fear is good. A proper existence needs healthy fear. The fear of failure has for years motivated winners. Athletes call it “playing for pride.” Therefore, fear can be a healthy driver so long as a moral, value structure keeps it in place. Fear turns on our juices – it is up to us to use them constructively.

Properly controlled fear becomes our cautious guide. Treated intelligently, it guides us around danger. Only when it gets out of control emotionally it leads us into dark places and finally immobilizes us. We rightly fear lions on the loose, but in the zoo they are something to study and enjoy. Just so uncontrollable fears must keep our emotional control towers in good working order. In vigilance we can control and use fear correctly.

Many years ago, Charlie McCormick of Chicago and spice fame, gave me a line he said he saw on an English pub wall: “Fear knocked at the door; faith, answered, and no one was there.”

This week think carefully about: 1) When have I been gripped by fear? 2) What plans do I have in place to deal with fear? 2) How am I modeling faith over fear?

Words of Wisdom: “Properly controlled, fear becomes our cautious guide.”

Wisdom from the Word: “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NET Bible)

Handling Pressure

Weekly Thought – September 13, 2022

Fred thrived on analyzing the human condition. One of his favorite topics was stress. He read broadly on the subject and created frameworks for handling negative pressures. He was quick to offer gratitude as the strongest antidote.

Handling Pressure

We all have pressure. In my experience I see people choosing one of six ways to handle pressure:

1) Deny it: this is immature and shallow, but often chosen as the preferred option;
2) Be overcome by it: allow the circumstances to paralyze and short-circuit thought processes. One of my favorite lines is from Prof Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary who responded to a whining student’s reason for incomplete work: “Prof, I did the best I could under the circumstances.” Prof’s reply: “Son, what are you doing under there?”
3) Relieve it: a common approach leading to alcoholism, infidelity, and various addictions. It is a temporary fix with permanent consequences;
4) Classify it: This one is a particular favorite of mine. Identify whether it is vertical stress which focuses concentration and pulls us together or horizontal which pulls us apart and is destructive;
5) Rejoice in it: Christians learn to expect pressure and ask what can be learned, not how to avoid it;
6) Use it: the greatest energies can come from redirecting the pressure from negative to positive.

My first reaction to stress is: Don’t Panic. I have great admiration for race car drivers. There is a part of me which vicariously takes those turns and flies down the straight aways. One of the greatest lessons I learned from watching them – and talking with them at Indy one year: Don’t Panic.

The amount of stress, it has been shown, has a lot to do with the feeling of being out of control. Dr. Kenneth Greenspan, Director of the Center for Stress-Related Disorders at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center said, “How stressful it (a situation) will be, depends upon the sense of control, or mastery of the situation.”

Executive stress has been called one of the most debilitating medical and social problems in America today. The Christian faith should have good answers for this. For example, our trust in the adequacy of Christ should take us above the current stress. Oswald Chambers always says, “Sit loose to things.” This has helped me tremendously. Twice in my consulting career mergers cancelled my primary client accounts – each done with little notice and serious financial implications. Reminding myself of Chambers’ admonition was crucial. Other fundamental tenets of the Christian faith like forgiveness, our temporal state, the sin nature of man, and the all-encompassing power of God help us put stress into proper perspective. Losing control is predictable; gaining perspective is profitable.

This week think carefully about: 1) What is stressing me right now? 2) How am I choosing to handle it? 3) Who needs encouragement to more constructively deal with their pressures?

Words of Wisdom: “We all have pressure.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Not only this, but we also rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance.” (Romans 5:3 NET Bible)

Men of Meditation

Weekly Thought – September 6, 2022

Fred highly esteemed Francois Fenelon and other early Catholic mystics. Their inclusion of contemplation and meditation influenced his thinking. Laity Lodge in Leakey, TX, was built by the Howard E. Butt Foundation for spiritual growth and development. From its inception Fred and Mary Alice participated in Hill Country weekends with their friends.

Men of Meditation

Meditation is guided study with those who have long walked with God. I find the path to meditation in reading those who focused on closeness to God. One goal: to put down spiritual deep enough to endure times of drought. We put up hedge against withering times. We compare this with the scripture which reminds us grass with shallow roots dries up in the hot sun. Deep spiritual roots help us withstand the pressure of external pressures.

Let me give you a few examples of the men who influence me with their meditative thinking, priming my pump.

1) Augustine: “Love God and do what you will.” Jesus said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” Love and obedience come together. This thought helps me to deny legalism and choose true freedom in Christ.
2) Francis of Assissi: My paraphrase: “It is not so important that I am loved as that I love.” He understood the priorities.
3) Oswald Chambers: “Sit loose to things.” In Dallas it is very hard to learn to sit loose to things. We measure so much of our life and value by material possessions. Yet we must remember we are more than what we own. We must keep in mind if the things go we can’t feel like we have gone. Too many accumulate and say, “This is living.” That is not sitting loose.
4) Oswald Chambers: “God isn’t interested in my success; he is interested in my maturity.” This has been foundational in my own meditations.
5) Kelley: “Develop a quiet center to your life.” There must be a place where the storms do not hit. There must be that gyroscopic center from which the other instruments get their readings.
6) Tozer: “My flame may be small, but it is real.” This one I repeatedly consider. Growth and reality are integral, integrated elements.
7) Lawrence: “Dishwashing is just as sacred as prayer.” The value of work is scriptural. A friend of mine ordered a handcrafted gazebo from an African country. A year after the order the excellent piece arrived. With it came a little plaque: “Our work is our worship.” Too many worship their work instead of seeing work as a form of worship.

This week carefully consider: 1) What thoughts come to my mind regularly? 2) How can I deepen my ability to meditate? 3) Why do I get distracted when wanting to meditate?

Words of Wisdom: “Growth and reality are integral, integrated elements.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May my words and my thoughts be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my sheltering rock and my redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14 NET Bible)

Strength Through Fellowship

Weekly Thought – August 30, 2022

Fred believed in the development of personal, internal devotion. However, one of the key elements was the importance of Christian fellowship. During his lifetime he thoroughly enjoyed experiences at the Laymen’s Leadership Institute, Fellowship at Barkley, church retreats nationwide, and of course the Spiritual Emphasis Weeks on Baptist campuses in the 1950s and 60s.

Strength Through Fellowship

Our devotional life cannot be just an individual matter between us and God. It must be worked out and built up in the community of fellow believers. We have to come down from the Mount of Transfiguration into the valley where the sinews and muscles of our faith are developed.

When we pray “our Father” we are talking family, community, and body. On my wall I have a beautiful little sketch done with one line incorporating the words, “Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of God.” We are to share.

As Christians, we can become fully formed friends. I, like you, have a number of non-believing friends. We can certainly share common experiences and great memories, but nothing like I can with my dear friend Jim. When he calls he almost always begins, “Hey, brother.” We have a depth of relation that goes past ordinary acquaintances.

A good friend is struggling with a new son-in-law who is adjusting poorly to marriage and their family. The young man has come several times to hear me speak and has watched the friendship between his father-in-law and me. He asked if he could have lunch. Usually I tell people to meet me at Cindi’s at 6am but because he was coming from out of state I agreed. We talked and then he went back home. He told his father-in-law, “You and Fred are friends. Never in my life have I ever had a friend like that.” He is missing the foundational piece of the friendship – faith in Christ.

Unfortunately, many men are devoid of full friendships. They have golfing buddies, college friends, and business associates, but to find someone with a deeper connection is rare. When I spend weekends on men’s retreats one of the goals is to open up the conversation about Christian devotion and the need for genuine fellowship. The activities, daily contacts, and programs are designed to open up opportunities to begin.

As we serve one another and accept service from one another we grow in devotion. This isn’t always easy – our ego doesn’t handle receiving help and service well.

These are financially hard times (note: 1980s) in Dallas. Those with great losses are suffering emotionally. They cannot believe they are accepted without their financial resources. These are the times for us to share the burdens of others, and also to learn to receive the care of the body. That is fellowship – and the path to true devotion.

This week think about: 1) How deep are my friendships within the body of Christ? 2) What can I do to stretch myself spiritually? 3) Who is a true fully-formed friend in my life?

Words of Wisdom: “We have to come down from the Mount of Transfiguration into the valley where the sinews and muscles of our faith are developed.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I was glad about the arrival of Stephanus, Fortunatus, and Achaicus because they have supplied the fellowship with you that I lacked.” (1 Corinthians 15:16 NET Bible)

Quiet Contemplation

Weekly Thought – August 23, 2022

Fred never tired of thinking about the expansiveness of God. He nurtured relationships with scientists, philosophers, and theologians. Plumbing the depths of creation fascinated him. He didn’t use these times for knowledge acquisition, but as sources for contemplation.

Quiet Contemplation

Charles Kuralt let the camera and microphone “talk to us” for several minutes on his CBS show. There was no narrative allowing us to look at these beautiful evidences of spring and hearing the birds, breeze, and rippling water. I would like to have an hour daily to contemplate nature.

Americans are not much for quiet. City streets, boom boxes (those noisy boxes on the shoulders of the young), and even our church services feature noise. Church growth experts say the fastest growing churches are the loudest. They call it “celebration worship.” But I still tend to think of it as noise, joyful as it may be.

Recently I spoke to an audience containing several foreign businessmen. I discussed the value of contemplation. After I finished a man with an unusually bright face approached me. “May we have lunch? I am a Hindu and contemplation is a major part of my religion, but I don’t hear many American Christians talk about it.”

“Be still and know I am God.” This is personal worship, removing the ritual of communal worship and arriving at the reality of a one-on-one relationship with the Almighty God.

After speaking at the Convention Center in Anaheim I was walking down the hall, I saw an old friend Gerardt Dierks, the German scientist. We held out our arms and hugged. “Gerhardt, what are you excited about?” His eyes misted and he replied, “The awe of God, the awe of God!” And then he said, “Fred, can you imagine a mind that can conceive of the DNA?” For the next 45 minutes discussing the awe of God as expressed in creation.

Contemplation is not passive; it is not what we do as we fall asleep. It is intense concentration, producing high moments for those practiced in it. Think of the moments in your life which are so deep you will never forget them.

I remember standing beside Mary Alice in the hospital after she delivered our first born. She held her, counting fingers and toes. I ask myself “Do I find those same high moments of emotion in our contemplation of God?”

In contemplation our relativity with God – not our relationship, but our relativity. He is eternal; we are temporal. He is infinite; we are finite. He is Creator; we are created.

For me, the effect of contemplation is: when I am small in His presence I am utterly secure; when I am big in my humanity, I am insecure. When I lean on my own position and power I am always expecting someone else to knock me off. My smallness in Him gives me ultimate security.

For me that is the joy of quiet contemplation.

This week carefully think about: 1) How comfortable am I with quiet contemplation? 2) Why do I prefer man-made noise to God-given quiet? 3) What am I learning about myself in the quiet?

Words of Wisdom: “’Be still and know I am God.’ This is personal worship, removing the ritual of communal worship and arriving at the reality of a one-on-one relationship with the Almighty God.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Indeed, I have calmed and quieted myself like a weaned child with its mother; I am content like a young child.” (Psalm 131:2 NET Bible)

The Broader Way

Weekly Thought – August 16, 2022

Fred took his last breath at 9:15 on August 17, 2007. To some it may be a cliché, but in truth he “finished well.” He identified his giftedness, developed it, and used it to stretch others.

The Broader Way

A research study by the Menninger Clinic looking at common traits of mature men and women found that “they draw sustenance from many different sources.” They saw that those studied were not narrow people.

Service is one way of paying attention to broadening our lives. My friend lived “the high life.” He was an executive with a $300,000 income (in the ‘70s), a yacht, and jet. After embezzling six million dollars his life drastically changed. He traded his mansion for a federal prison. When he came out he had no friends, business, or family. He wandered the streets of his town, ending up in a half-way house. While speaking in his town a few weeks ago I saw a man across the auditorium. “Who is that man? He looks vaguely familiar.” I knew it couldn’t be my friend with that shining countenance, straight bearing, and purposeful expression. Nobody could change that much, I thought.

After the meeting I walked toward the man. We recognized each other and reached out to hug. “When are you going back to the big time?” My question seemed to be appropriate for this man of confidence and strength. “I’m not. Fred, I found my place working with ex-convicts and helping minority businesses become profitable.” He traded his life of selfishness for a life of service.

Recently, I talked to an over the road truck driver. He was excited about his life. He said, “I’m always looking around the next curve and over the next hill.” When I asked if he ever took his wife he responded, “Once.” “Why only once?” “All she likes to do is knit. We drove along passing beautiful views, and all she did was sit and knit, saying nothing, and seeing nothing. So I thought she might as well sit at home knitting. I could keep on driving, seeing and thoroughly enjoying everything I could. There is just so much mile after mile.”

He knew what it meant to broaden his life.

When we focus our attention, deepen and broaden it, we are simply becoming more alive – and well on the road to maturity.

This week think carefully about: 1) How open am I to new experiences? 2) When do I feel most alive? 3) What challenges and stretches me to grow toward maturity?

Words of Wisdom: “He traded his life of selfishness for a life of service.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I know your deeds: your love, faith, service, and steadfast endurance. In fact, your more recent deeds are greater than your earlier ones.” (Revelation 2:19 NET Bible)

Careful Confrontation

Weekly Thought – August 9, 2022

Fred did scattershot thinking. Interviewers struggled to keep him going down just one track. One thought bounced around and bounced off others. Before the interviewer could land one idea, another direction took over. But those who understand his pattern thoroughly benefited from these conversations. Harold Myra, retired CEO of the Christianity Today International companies uniquely captured his rhythm and knew how to play the game. Together they produced great content, and formed a lasting friendship. This week’s email is “a rabbit trail” from an interview.

Careful Confrontation

Confrontation is an explosive topic, especially within the Christian community. We prefer to talk about tolerance, love, mercy, grace, and other “spiritual” responses. But we fail to accept that Christ confronted.

However, He went to the source of the problem. He didn’t need the rich young ruler to give Him his money. He simply wanted to confront the financial idolatry present in his life. He certainly didn’t expect the Pharisees in the temple to stop their work – he wanted them to leave their self-righteousness behind.

So, in confrontation, you always want to try to go for the essence of the problem. Adler gave me a concept which has been extremely helpful. He wrote that every man is logical if you understand the base from which he operates. I try to create scenarios from which everything the person does makes sense. When I can do this, I believe I understand the problem. But until I can get to the place of understanding the logic, I still don’t understand the base from which the person is operating.

Many times I talk with parents who are totally frustrated with their children (especially grown ones). “I cannot understand what he/she is thinking. How in the world could they make that decision?” When we step back and come up with an understanding of the premise from which the child is operating, then the decision and the behavior makes sense. It doesn’t drive the parent any less crazy, but it is a step forward.

Sometimes confrontation takes real hard thinking. You have to develop an intuition for problems. And always leave room in your own thinking for the real possibility you may be wrong. That is a fundamental reason I offer options, not advice.

The proper attitude toward confrontation is key. It is not an opportunity to embarrass, play the power card, or let off steam. Evaluating myself first is a primary check-off. What am I trying to accomplish? How will this affect the individual, the organization?

Mature confrontation is for progress, not ego satisfaction.

This week think about: 1) How comfortable am I with confrontation? 2) Should confrontation differ according to the environment? 3) What are ways I back away from confrontation?

Words of Wisdom: “When you understand the base from which a person operates, their behavior is logical.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I thought, ‘Certainly you will respect me! Now you will accept correction!’ (Zephaniah 3: 7(a) NET Bible)

Don’t Duck

Weekly Thought – August 2, 2022

Fred grew up in the home of a Southern Baptist preacher. “Soul winning” burned in the heart of M.B. Smith. All five “Smith boys” grew up hearing their father stand in the pulpit holding his big Bible and powerfully proclaiming the Gospel. Fred’s philosophy of evangelism has helped laymen to comfortably share the good news.

Don’t Duck

One of my favorite weekends is the annual men’s retreats in Fresno, California. We have established great trust and friendship. However, at the beginning I had to explain that I am not a pastor, ministry leader, nor evangelist. Early in the development of the lay movement it was difficult for the idea of integrating Christian faith into all areas of life feel natural.

In the 1950s the Student Department of the Southern Baptist Convention piloted an idea: send teams of Christian businessmen to college campuses for a week, staying in dorms, fraternity houses, and speaking in chapel, classrooms, and informal sessions. We all had to explain we weren’t ordained preachers – we were business people. The response was positive. “I have never heard a businessman talk about faith like you all do.” We weren’t delivering sermons, or exegeting texts – we were talking about what it meant to follow Christ.

We were not taking the place of pastors – we were expanding their reach.

During these men’s retreats evangelism would always come up. I explained that I didn’t have that gift, but that I wouldn’t avoid talking about faith if it came up naturally. I boiled it down to two words, “Don’t Duck.” Each morning I found peace in praying, “Lord, today I won’t duck. If the subject comes up I will handle it as normally as I would any other subject.”

Talking to others about spiritual matters has never been as easy for me as talking about business. But when I made the Don’t Duck commitment it became a more normal part of my day to day. Once I did that I found the most interesting thing: spiritual issues come up – and they come up as naturally as any other subject. I don’t have to figure out ways to jam it into the conversation. I met a man recently who proudly told me he never leaves a person without challenging him with the gospel. I find staying open strangely provides opportunities repeatedly.

At one particular retreat weekend I talked about my commitment to “Don’t Duck.” An advertising man in the audience had an idea. The next time all the men walked around sporting a large lapel button with a duckhead crossed through with a black line denoting “Don’t Duck.”

When we listen to the Holy Spirit our experiences are beyond anything we could force.

This week think about: 1) How comfortable am I talking about spiritual matters? 2) What would change if “Don’t Duck” became my daily commitment? 3) When can I tell the Spirit is opening up the conversation?

Words of Wisdom: “Don’t Duck.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12 NET Bible)

Is My Passion Focused?

Weekly Thought – July 26, 2022

Fred respected talent. He identified passion and vision as two common elements of high achievers. During his life he enjoyed conversations exploring facets of leadership. His ability to recognize principles and catalog them for the benefit of many was part of his giftedness.

Is My Passion Focused?

Every effective leader is imbued with passion. An accomplishment is often to direct proportion to the amount and intensity of the leader’s passion. It is contagious; it gives hope; it sustains in difficult times.

I like this definition: “Passion is concentrated wisdom with high energy in the pursuit of meaning.” My good friend, theologian Dr Ramesh Richard, said: “First in life, decide on your passion. What is your first love? If you have multiple passions, you’ll be ripped to pieces internally, resulting in a fragmented, random life. If anything other than the Lord Jesus Christ is your first love, you will fall into idolatry.” This international proclaimer and professor verbalizes it this way: “to make God look good and Christ well known.” In this he demonstrates his first love, his central passion. Christ is to be to focus – ensuring integrity of leadership.

The advantages of passion are many. It brings purpose, unity, intensity, and concentration. It leads to accomplishment. It gives intentionality to life. Passion gives depth, keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity. With passion our life becomes a welder’s torch, rather than a grass fire.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn had an undying passion for truth and principle; Mother Teresa, a passion for the dying; Moody, Spurgeon and Graham – a passion for souls. I think about Edison’s persevering passion; and Churchills indomitable passion of will that gave the British their war stamina.

Those with exceptional passion receive it as a gift for they were created with this extraordinary capacity. They can unite the mind, heart, and spirit. They have the ability to lose themselves in a cause, dedicating their life to a single purpose. I think often of the Apostle Paul’s words: “This one thing I do.” He again spoke of his focus “I determine not to know anything but Jesus Christ and Him crucified.”

In leadership, focused passion accomplishes much more than merely considering an intellectual, scholarly approach.

This week carefully think about: 1) How clear am I about my passion? 2) Where is the intersection of my gifts, skills, purpose, and opportunities? 3) When do I vividly see the direction for my life?

Words of Wisdom: “Passion gives depth, keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But we passionately want each of you to demonstrate the same eagerness for the fulfillment of your hope until the end.”(Hebrews 6:11 NET Bible)

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