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  • Weekly Thoughts (Page 24)

Growing Older

Weekly Thought -April 26, 2022

Fred managed the aging process masterfully. He followed his own principle of growing older, but never old. He prepared well for the last years through planning and mental discipline. Even in his years of restriction he said, “I am not disabled; I am delightfully dependent.”

Growing Older

Joy is like the wine which Christ made from the contents of the water jugs – the best was saved for last.

Normally, people think the exuberance of youth creates the best years of life. They believe the poorer wine is reserved for old age, so they substitute the memories of youth for current experiences. Too many people are eating the crumbs of former feasts. They take the scraps from a years old big dinner, reheat them, and accept that as satisfactory.

The Christian life should reverse that philosophy. God works on an ascension scale – he moves us as He transforms us; He changes and enhances our spirit even as our body deteriorates. If we follow Christ we are moving from earth to heaven; from temporal to eternal. In our Christian life “the best is yet to be.”

Our prayer of thanksgiving as we age should be, “Thank you that thou has kept to best until now.” Finishing well is summed up by hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joys of thy Lord.”

The Christian life has responsibilities and duties. Being profitable to the Master is our job description. At the end of this work is the participation in His joy. This should be the normal pattern for Christian living, not the exception. God wants us to be productive – it is part of the relationship we have with Him. We can use it as a measure of our life experiences.

At my age my friends are tempted to reheat and rehash stories of youthful successes. It is challenging to cancel our membership in the “usta club.” It is tiring to sit with formerly active, eager people and hear them endlessly retell tales of what they “usta do.” God’s plan is forward gear, accomplishing to the last day. He saves the best wine for the last – we must drink it with joy.

This week carefully consider: 1) How much joy am I displaying? 2) What are my future plans? 3) When do I feel God’s pleasure as I strive for “well done?”

Words of Wisdom: “They take the scrap from a years old big dinner, reheat them, and accept that as satisfactory.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He died at a good old age, having enjoyed long life, wealth, and honor. “ (1 Chronicles 29:28a NET Bible)

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The Price of Leadership

Weekly Thought – April 19, 2022

Fred accumulated thoughts on maturity which he planned to form into a book. Although the manuscript did not go into print, the collection exists and contains valuable thoughts on growing wise. This week’s message is a short commentary on a challenge to those seeking leadership.

The Price of Leadership

Aloneness is chosen; loneliness is imposed. It can be imposed by responsibility… for example, an executive who is highly functioning can never really be “one of the boys.” (Of course this applies to women executives, as well – and is actually even more difficult).
It can be imposed by circumstances caused by a move to a new location without any social contacts. Or it can be imposed by others who choose not to associate with you, making you feel like an outcast. I read in China this isolation was one of the punishments to insure conformity.

The loneliness of leadership must be accepted as part of the price. As a young man at GENESCO after given executive responsibilities, the CEO asked me, “Fred, how far do you want to go?” “Mr. Jarman, I want to go as far as I can.” He responded, “Then learn to live with loneliness.”

I used this example in a speech to an Ohio Presidents Organization meeting. Afterwards the President of a large architectural wanted to talk. “You have just explained my biggest management problem. I hate being lonely, so I talk too much to my people. I tell them everything so I won’t feel alone in all the decisions I make.”

This can be disastrous. Any changes he discusses with his firm will either be supported or stopped, depending on who has what to gain. In abdicating his leadership to create a comfortable environment he opened the door for poor decisions. He sacrificed the power to control his strategy. Talking over his potential decisions is valuable if and only if he chooses the right person and assesses his motivation. Leaders ultimately come to a crossroad and must make the final call… it isn’t a group activity.

This week think about: 1) How well do I handle loneliness? 2) What hinders my personal leadership development? 3) Who models healthy decision making for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Loneliness of leadership must be accepted as part of the price.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you! Don’t be frightened, for I am your God! I strengthen you— yes, I help you— yes, I uphold you with my victorious right hand!” (Isaiah 41: 10 Net Bible)

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Internal Energy

Weekly Thought – April 12, 2022

Fred’s sense of humor oiled the gears of life. He appreciated the lubricating value of laughter. He also appreciated the use of motivation and inspiration. His dear friend Zig Ziglar was the preeminent influencer for generations of men and women. In this excerpt from a commencement address at Belmont University he challenges the graduates to maintain a high level of self-motivation.

Internal Energy

Motivation is certainly tantamount, if not paramount, to education. Education may be the vehicle, but motivation (and self-discipline) is the driving fuel. Most people who fail do so because they lacked superior fuel, more than a superior vehicle.
May I suggest a few thoughts on self-motivation?

1) Access your strengths – In spite of the current popularity of “overcoming weaknesses.” I am convinced no one will get very far in life spending time trying to strengthen weaknesses, rather than identifying and focusing on strengths.

2) Discipline your associations – accept the challenge to associate with champions. Owning the biggest house in a neighborhood of modest ones or being the largest fish in a very small pond are two examples of setting the bar too low. Think about your associations. Are you the most able in your group or are you constantly learning from those around you? Always strive to be the smallest frog – you will grow by this challenge.

3) Recognize definite goals – The Apostle Paul said, “This one thing I do.” To many of us are like the steam pipe with a series of drilled holes. We have steam, but it is being blown off in too many different directions. We are intrigued with all the opportunities we forget we can only master a limited number of activities in this lifetime. This demands the discipline of choice. In this graduating class there will be a few who find they do not have a goal, but the goal has them. They dedicate themselves to its end. A study of great men and women usually expose a “magnificent obsession.”

4) Understand the cost – if you motivate yourself either by discipline or dedication you will find there are genuine prices to pay. Probably the biggest price will be loneliness. You cannot be a leader and avoid it. Out in front you will encounter tough decisions. Often you will have to keep your own counsel and exchange the warmth of belonging for the loneliness of leadership. Another cost is tension. You cannot have the functionality of a spring without tension. You cannot have the placidity of a mule and reap the winnings of a race horse. In my study of leaders, I always find the intensity of success. May I emphasize this isn’t being a hard worker -they are intense. There is a great difference. Tension is not to be feared; but to be managed.

5) Accept the reward – In reading the biographies of the twelve outstanding men of science and business I saw that almost every individual mentioned the reward as the joy of accomplishment. I am sure if I turned around and interviewed these leaders on this platform they would echo this same sentiment. And I am sure up and down these aisles are seated men and women who share the same goal of accomplishment.

6) Correctly define success – my personal definition: success is the ratio of talents used to talents received. Developing the discipline of self-motivation is a critical element in a successful life.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I define success? 2) What would I say to a graduating class? 3) Which areas of my life demonstrate the greatest self-motivation?

Words of Wisdom: “You cannot have the placidity of a mule and expect the winnings of a race horse?”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people.” (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

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Insecurity and Growth

Weekly Thought – April 5, 2022

Fred clearly differentiated between strengths and weaknesses. Contrary to some, he disagreed with the effort to overcome weaknesses. “Develop your strengths and buttress your weaknesses” was his philosophy. He observed insecurities as facts of life, not weaknesses. His thinking is most helpful.

Insecurity and Growth

All of us have our areas of insecurity… not just a passing anxiety, but the continuing lack of adequacy. Even when we sleep it haunts us in our dreams.

Actually, as we become more secure, we are better able to recognize and accept our remaining insecurities. For example, even the most emotionally secure might still have stage fright so badly they refuse to face an audience or some new experience. I have found some extremely extroverted before a camera or from the platform can become insecure off the stage. I have known “bigger than life” personalities who were afraid to be alone.

While we can borrow a small amount of security from others, we cannot depend on others for complete security. One of the most difficult and contentious marriages I know is between a tragically insecure woman and an outrageously secure man. She thought his security would become hers by osmosis, but of course, this did not happen. Rather than admire and benefit from his security she began to harbor resentment and stayed irritated. His equilibrium was a constant reminder and reflection of her imbalance.

Permanent security must be grown from within. This is part of the pain of growth. It takes a great deal of determination and discipline. Fortunately, it is not a disease of the will, so the will can become an ally and stepping stone on the path to security. I would also add that nearly as important is will power is a sense of humor. In my life I was raised in the mill district of a large Southern town, son of a Baptist preacher. I had no exposure to social graces or cultural experiences, so as I was offered opportunities beyond my background I ran head long into “social gaps.” We were grateful to have one fork beside our plate so you can imagine my chagrin staring at an elegant table with china, crystal, linen, and MANY forks! An inner sense of humor is extremely useful in relieving the pressures of embarrassment. The confidence comes, but it helps to laugh at the gaffes along the way!

Insecurities are a part of the human condition. We mature, fill in holes and grow, but it is a process that takes time, hard work – and often a good laugh.

This week carefully consider: 1) What do I consider insecurities? 2) When I look back, how much growth do I see? 3) How well am I able to laugh at (and with) myself?

Words of Wisdom: “The confidence comes, but it helps to laugh at the gaffes along the way!”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will lie down and sleep peacefully, for you, Lord, make me safe and secure.” (Psalm 4:8 NET Bible)

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Keep An Eye on the Rainbow

Weekly Thought – March 29, 2022

Fred considered himself a realist. He read an account of POWs by a survivor. The author remarked that the optimists were the first to succumb, the pessimists came next, and the majority of those who made it were realists. Fred emphasized the necessity of “keeping current” and aware of what is, not what one wished it to be.

Keep An Eye on the Rainbow

A young preacher pastoring his first church in a Northern mill town told of his conversation of the mill owner. “Young man, you have not seen me in church and you will not until my funeral. I own this town as well as the mill. This is my pot of gold. When I came here as an immigrant I heard that in America there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I found the gold, young man, but I lost the rainbow.” He didn’t have to lose it, but he did. Life is never a mandatory choice between the rainbow and the gold.

After speaking to a conference of Canadian corporate presidents, a group of us sat around discussing personal success and how to define it. One president’s contribution stays with me: “I would like to live rich as well as die rich.” He learned how to keep the rainbow and the pot of gold.

The rainbow, from its inception, has been the symbol of hope – the promise of ultimate victory and the relatedness with the eternal and divine. I hope you will live and die rich, but if you have to choose – live rich with hope, joy, and promise.

Recently, a restless friend said, “I feel a lack of joy in my life. I wonder if it is worth it.” He appeared passive and almost numb to life. He seemed to be acted upon by circumstances, pressured by events, and absorbing the pessimism of the joyless. He failed to possess the courage to take charge of his life and attitudes.

I often speak of “joy for the journey.” I am not talking about surface happiness which comes like the wind without knowing where or why. Joy is more than fortuitous circumstances. Joy is effectively activated when life is a struggle. Joy is the deep adequacy, the determined will to survive… that faith to believe “all things work together for good.”

Oftentimes I read of “secrets” of joy but actually there are none which people hunted and found like Easter eggs. No effervescent books, or esoteric cults can provide true, lasting joy. Joy is a result. It is a reward for life’s being well spent in hopefulness. It truly brings the pot of gold by following the rainbow. Joy is not measured in dollars and cents, but in a life well lived.

This week think about: 1) How would I describe my balance between pot of gold and rainbow? 2) What gives me joy? 3) Who am I influencing in making choices for a rich life?

Words of Wisdom: “Joy is the deep adequacy, the determined will to survive…that faith to believe all things work together for good.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And since I am sure of this, I know that I will remain and continue with all of you for the sake of your progress and joy in the faith.” (Philippians 1:25 NET Bible)

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Heart Qualities

Weekly Thought – March 22, 2022

Fred was a truth seeker and truth teller before those phrases were in the current vernacular. He refused to dance around, play around, and definitely not goof around with what is right. Yet, he was not legalistic. He had great respect for the freedom attached to living in the truth. He also highly regarded those who chose to be life long learners, ever expanding their knowledge and wisdom.

Heart Qualities

Plato said if teachers do their job correctly, they awaken the latent teacher in each pupil. That enables each person to live as both teacher and student. My good friend, Jack Modesett, said his life changed his sophomore year in college when he found the joy of learning. He graduated magna cum laude and to this day experiences the magna cum laude life because he remains both the teacher and the student.

Let me give you two qualities of an educated heart:

1) A taste for a full life -Professor William James referred to it as “thickness” meaning life has dimension. It is more than surface; it is not shallow. Christ called it the abundant life. The Menninger Clinic studied maturity and observed one of the traits is a life that is a confluence of stimulation from varied sources. They are more than uni-dimensional. I see individuals whose function has taken over their person. This results in the sacrifice of true joy. To lose the excitement of being full-orbed is a tragedy.

2) The love of truth -We live in a fantasy world created by media, advertising, politics, even religious institutions. Their propaganda takes over eliminating truth. Father Hesburgh, when he became President of Notre Dame University was given counsel by Father Cavanaugh, his predecessor: a) Be right; b) Be human and c) be humble. David Rockefeller asked Father Hesburgh to join the board of Chase Manhattan Bank. He laughed and said, “I am a priest. I have never had a personal bank account and now you want me to be a board member?” Rockefeller replied, “If we don’t know how to run a bank we shouldn’t be here. What we need is somebody skilled in know what is morally right.” Later on, the President said, “At times when we got into moral discussions, the Board Chair would turn to me and ask me to determine what was right. I tried to eliminate the political right, profitably right, or popularly right, and tell them what was morally right.”

The love of truth goes beyond dogma and doctrine. It ultimately goes to that statement: “Truth is a person.” A Jewish philosopher pointed out to me that as a Christian I should fully understand that because Jesus said, “I am the truth.”

Love of truth enlarges my heart and expands my ability to exchange thoughts without rancor or ego.

This week think carefully about: 1) What three things would you say to your successor? 2) How do I measure my love of truth? 3) When do I experience the love of learning?

Words of Wisdom: “To lose the excitement of being full-orbed is a tragedy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Give instruction to a wise person, and he will become wiser still; teach a righteous person and he will add to his learning.” (Proverbs 9:9 NET Bible)

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Handling Problems Realistically

Weekly Thought – March 15, 2022

Fred consistently sought to realistically deal with problems. To help others he established one of his most important pieces of counsel: “It is critical to know the difference between a problem and a fact of life. A problem can be solved; a fact of life is a given. To spend time trying to change a fact of life is foolish.”

Handling Problems Realistically

A former pro athlete, now incarcerated on drug charges, said “the drug problem is really about lifestyle. We are caught between our idea of the good life and how to handle real problems. Some of us choose to handle them by escaping into substance abuse.” I agree with him, but I think it may be even more.

It is how we define a problem that affects the outcome. A problem may be a hurt, a wound, or an emotional vacuum. The good life tells us we are winners; we always feel good; we always live on the high side of life. Movies, TV commercials, and celebrities support this philosophy. If we are down then we are in the “before” side of life. Sitcoms and advertisements solve problems in lightening speed making the “after” look like reality. In actuality, it may just be another layer of the problem itself.

Nothing in life brings instant results. Consciousness altering substances have great appeal because they tend to sell the user on the idea that they can check out and experience something else almost immediately. But sober, sane life doesn’t work that way. Nothing can transform us that quickly.

This is one of the reasons too many look for spiritual highs and spiritual quick fixes because we don’t want to do the hard work of solving the problems and undergoing transformation. We want to go from “before” to “after” in blinding speed, enjoying it all the way. It just doesn’t happen that way.

So, what too many define as the winning life cannot be genuine because it depends on the artificial, the synthetic, and the addictive to live at that level. Looking for the sudden high leads to lifestyles of degradation.

The periphery of our hurts may be temporarily satisfied by these solutions, but none of them touch the core of the problems. In actuality, the core and the essential hurt continues to grow, giving room for nothing but hopelessness. A pitiful alternative is giving in to the darkness and claiming worthlessness. The one who opts for this solution gives in and jettisons all self-respect.

What is the answer? The rejuvenation of the Holy Spirit. Nothing satisfies like the washing and changing through the Spirit. Through this comes true transformation. And this must come through an actual spiritual experience, not just head knowledge. But it doesn’t come without risk. We can’t do it on a trial basis. It is life’s total risk. But life through rejuvenation and regeneration is truly the only good life. All else may sizzle for awhile but will ultimately fizzle.

This week consider: 1) How do I define the good life? 2) What distinctions am I making between problems and facts of life? 3) Who is a good role model for genuine satisfaction?

Words of Wisdom: “Nothing in life brings instant results.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2 NET Bible)

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Heroes, Not Celebrities

Weekly Thought – March 8, 2022

Fred wrote about the value of heroes as a critical element in You and Your Network. He differentiates them from role models, or sponsors. He once saw a study showing that our heroes at age 10 have a dramatic influence on our lives. In early conversations he was always interested in those people kept in the hero category.

Heroes, Not Celebrities

The list of those to whom we could profitably look as heroes is lengthy. They personify the traits of character and values we would like to make part of our own lives. For example, Booker T. Washington who accomplished great things in the face of obstacles others could not overcome. His nobility ultimately became the practical.

We are unrealistic to think our heroes should be perfect. The Bible recognizes their imperfections. I have always been convinced the inclusion of them is a proof of scripture’s inspiration. Capturing the complete person is a great help. In Hebrews we see those inducted into the “Hall of Faith.” The list includes murderers, schemers, adulterers, and even prostitutes.

There is no need to defend our heroes against anything except perfection. When we ask for perfection we become vulnerable to those who expose their weaknesses thereby trying to destroy their value to us. Heroes personify the value and the human capability of reaching nobility, but never perfection.

Expecting complete purity is unrealistic and unhealthy. To require our heroes to be flawless is to build on a false philosophical – and theological – base.

The media have done all us a great disservice when they attempt to exchange the lasting inspiration of the hero for the momentary excitement of the celebrity. Our son, Fred, first caused me to think about the difference between heroes and celebrities when he said, “The heroes of the early church were martyrs and ours are celebrities.” Herein may lie a great deal of the weakness of our modern church. Don’t misunderstand – I am not lobbying for those who go around talking like self-professed martyrs. That is not what fueled the early church. We know persecution has always been the great purifier. But persecution in the name of Christ, not because we create havoc. Emerson said, “Those who follow after celebrity sip the foam of many lives.” Today’s celebrities rise on a wave of applause and break on the rocks of inattention. They are surely a fantasy waiting to be exposed.

Heroes give us the desire and a roadmap toward virtue; celebrities give us a picture of vapid ego drive.

This week think carefully; 1) Who was my hero at age 10? 2) What heroic qualities am I pursuing? 3) How can I encourage others to incorporate heroes in their personal development?

Words of Wisdom: “We are unrealistic to think our heroes should be perfect.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Open the gates so a righteous nation can enter— one that remains trustworthy.” (Isaiah 26:2 NET Bible)

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Good Works

Weekly Thought – March 1, 2022

Fred purposefully created opportunities for conversations. For example, he invited a small group of friends from across the country to join him for a weekend of thinking, eating, and “just plain fun.” One of the topics was “doing good.” This excerpt is from his observations on the topic.

Good Works

“He went about doing good” was said of Christ. He was intentional and purposeful about his everyday circumstances. Recently I met a young man, unhappy in his computer job, wanted to quit and work full time giving his Christian testimony. I asked if his plan was to go to churches where he would be warmly received and applauded. He actually said that was his plan. All those I’ve seen who do this are not worth shooting in six months. The veracity of his testimony was at his computer job, not on a church platform. We are to share our testimony while at work, not as our work.

Christ didn’t go about doing good when He was in a good mood. Nor did He go about weighing His opportunities looking for the “greatest good,” He did what was at hand. When we focus on the highest good it is easy to ignore the small bits of good. We can get immobilized waiting for meaningful, significant contributions. There is no small good versus large good, There is no hierarchy of good in God’s economy. It is a chain that links human history together living out God’s plan.

I read a story about football player Steve Largent, former Pro football player. When he was six his father deserted the family. His mother remarried a drunk who abused them. He hated to go home after school. He heard about an after school meeting for teens where they served punch and cookies. Giving him a reason to stay away from home he started attending Young Life meetings. Through YL he came to know Jesus Christ. I doubt that the lady who baked the cookies and fixed the punch thought she was engaged in great Kingdom work. She was going about doing good, leaving the outcome to the Lord.

The American church is caught up in celebrity Christianity. Emphasis on visibility, popularity, and prosperity alter the scriptural teaching. Very few are called to a public platform… probably even fewer than we currently have. I met a woman who was a minister after speaking at a national conference. She was struggling with her calling. We talked about it and she wrote me saying, “Fred, I don’t have to be famous, do I? I don’t have to be well known to be a faithful Christian, do I?” Then she went on to tell me about an experience. She went to visit a classmate of her daughter’s who was jailed for prostitution and drugs. As she sat down with the girl she asked, “How are you?” The young woman defiantly answered, “Just fine, okay?” I answered her, “That is good. I just want to tell you God loves you and I would like to be your friend.” As I said this the girl got up from her seat, moved to me sobbing. We stood there hugging. I doubt this woman ever preached a more eloquent, inspired sermon. Right there in her daily circumstances she was going about doing good.

This week carefully think about: 1) How clear am I on the opportunities to do good? 2) What is before me right now for doing good? 3) Who models day to day intentional following Jesus?

Words of Wisdom: “There is no small good versus large good. There is no hierarchy of good in God’s economy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up. “ (Galatians 6:9 NET Bible)

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Good Humor

Weekly Thought – February 22, 2022

Fred studied philosophy, applying his principles and truths to life. One area of particular interest to him was humor. He took very little at face value, but diligently investigated subjects. These thoughts certainly exemplify this exercise.

Good Humor

Good humor is a way of looking at life. It believes nothing is perfect. In this it gives us the freedom to relax a bit and laugh. It recognizes that we all have our good and bad days. Good humor operates with the slippage of a belt drive, not the exacting gear teeth which are unable to give without breaking.

The best thing about humor is that it grows out of our need for it. The more we desperately need it, the stronger it develops. For example, the inner person is saved from destruction by a spirit of good humor even while the outer person is being tortured or tormented. This humor is for the persecuted. It has kept our spirits up even during bitter periods when cynicism was poured out like acid or depression felt like a malady.

When the illogical masquerades as logic it must be treated with humor. For example, I heard about the hippie caught in a house before stealing anything was asked by the owner, “What are you doing here?” “Man, everybody has got to be somewhere” was his reply. There is such logic to that statement it just has to be funny.

Natural humor occurs so frequently that we don’t have to work to be funny. In fact, those that try for laughs strain the interaction. We rightfully resent anyone who manipulates a situation into a setting for one of oft-told stories or smart-alecky remarks. Being used as a foil isn’t appreciated. When humorous comments come naturally they bring laughter. Otherwise it feels like an imposition.

Often we think of humorous and serious as being antithetical. Actually, they are two sides of the same coin. They are simply two separate ways of expressing the same thought, not two different thoughts. The most profound thought can be expressed humorously in the right setting with respect. Most people that so they opt for serious communication thinking it will be heard and received. When we think of humor as a variation, it gives the freedom to be bi-lingua. We can speak two languages with equal fluency having the ability to move from one to another with ease and appropriateness.

Humorist William Zinsser found in his Yale writing class that “students strove at first for humor, hoping to bag a few truths along the way. We ended up striving for truth and hoping to add humor along the way. Ultimately, we realized the two are intertwined.”

This week think about: 1) Who makes me uncomfortable with the constant effort to be funny? 2) How can I develop my own sense of humor? 3) When have I used humor to protect myself from pain?

Words of Wisdom: “Good humor is a way of looking at life.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A joyful heart makes the face cheerful, but by a painful heart the spirit is broken.” (Proverbs 15:13 NET Bible)

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