Brenda’s Blog – August 23, 2016

“When in work zones, expect the unexpected.”

The Tennessee digital warning signs caught my attention as I drove. Then they made me laugh. My kids roll their eyes when they see the “that’ll preach” look come across my face.

But think about it – when we are growing, stretching, and changing, unexpected things happen. In other words, when we are moving from one phase, level, or season we are in the midst of work. Sometimes we are working on ourselves, and quite frequently God is working on us.

A sweet friend is going through a painful life transition. She is valiantly trying to live in “day-tight compartments” as my Dad used to counsel me, but she (like the rest of us) looks out wondering how to continue living out her purpose. Christians typically seek to identify ways of effectively serving Jesus and others. We often feel certain of our giftedness and spend years living out what we see as our calling. Then WHAM! We enter a work zone and the unexpected occurs.

What gets us through the road work on the highways? After dealing with frustration because schedules are awry, and “best times ever from A to B” are abandoned, a healthy person accepts the situation and focuses on being alert. The same is true of life changes. We kick and scream just to assert our sovereignty and assumed control. Then we understand we can do it smoothly or roughly, but we will do it! Those who follow Jesus know our triune God is the only one in control and nothing thwarts His plans – NOTHING!

Work zones can be dangerous. But they are also promises of better conditions. Are you in a work zone right now? Are you moving through an unexpected patch? YAY for you! You are transitioning to a place of refinement, repair, and rejuvenation. (Hey, I am the granddaughter of a Baptist preacher and love three-part alliteration!) Prepare your heart and mind, seeing the value of what it is… a work zone.

Brenda’s Blog – August 9, 2016

“Gram, do you know what a champion is?”

My little grandson looked at me in all seriousness and asked that question. We were having a day out and walking around our favorite shopping center. The sculpture cried out for young, adventurous climbers. He attempted the ascent but failed – again and again. “Do you want me to lift you up?” I asked.

That is when he looked at me with his little earnest eyes and asked the penetrating question. “Well, if I let you lift me up I won’t make it to the top and I won’t be a champion.”

During this Olympic season we all see the fruit of sacrificial training which prepares the athletes to stand atop the winners’ stand. They know what it means to be a champion – much discipline and even more pain. A friend’s husband was a gifted runner. His coaches wanted him to train with the Olympics as the goal. He dropped out with the explanation: “It stopped being fun when it started hurting.”

What price are you willing to pay to be a champion? What dreams are in your heart which will demand strategic dedication? What fuels your drive to excel?

A small boy’s simple question comes back to me frequently. When I am willing to settle for mediocrity, I hear his little voice. I can’t be a champion at everything I do, but I can identify my uniqueness and look for ways to develop it. I can clarify my direction and focus on purposeful activity. I can remember the view from the top is worth the climb.

Brenda’s Blog – July 26, 2016

“Proceed on the same route.” “When possible, make a legal U-Turn.”

As I drove thousands of miles during the last eleven days, I obeyed the dulcet tones of my GPS lady. She capably (most of the time) guided me on my way. One morning I heeded her instructions to continue on the path and thought, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a voice which would speak quietly yet confidently into my life like that?”

And when she sensed I was going the wrong way, she chided me while directing a U-Turn!

I spent the next miles thinking about my life and the journey. There were moments when a U-Turn would have been most appropriate – and saved a great deal of time and trouble. But there were many other times when continuing on my road opened doors of opportunity and growth.

What voices gave direction? Wise counselors, loving friends and friends, scriptural imperatives, and inner desires. The “you go, girl!” affirmations were greatly appreciated. But, “you might rethink that decision” comments were equally (most times) regarded.

The need for counsel doesn’t diminish as we age. Sometimes I think it is even more clear. My Dad used to tell me to be careful as I made decisions for we start writing in pencil with a strong eraser, but as we grow older we shift to a pen with no eraser. Translated: “Brenda, you have less and less time to correct mistakes, so be careful.”

I want to keep my eyes and ears open to my GPS network so the journey ends well. I don’t want to dead-end. I will enjoy the “proceed” instructions and heed the “legal U-Turn” warnings. I will look at my life options with a heart and mind of wisdom, knowing my web of counselors will speak truth.

Brenda’s Blog – July 12, 2016

“Leaders are not Litterers”

The billboard in Semmes, AL promoted a clean environment. A Baptist with a love for alliteration must have developed the campaign!

I started thinking about the sentiment. Other than picking up casually tossed candy wrappers, and correctly depositing empty soda cans, what is it about leadership that creates a non-litterer?

Then, I started down my usual rabbit trails. What kinds of litter do leaders clean up? How about mental junk? “Garbage in, garbage out” is an axiom leaders learn well. The well-disciplined mind keeps unworthy distractions at bay.

How about time wasters? Strong leaders know how to use bits of time to their advantage and eliminate the little time grabbers that beg for five minutes and end up taking thirty. Stewardship of time, as well as treasure, is important.

Then I thought about the expectations of others which put demands on our lives. How often we find ourselves littered with “shoulds and woulds” that are not ours at all – but belong to others. This trash hangs around us bogging us down and often keeping us from winning the race.

Finally, I thought about the wasted emotions of bitterness, unforgiveness, and jealousy. How foolish to clutter our minds and hearts with senseless and unhealthy emotions. How can we run free with baggage from the past hanging from arms and legs?

This exercise got me into Mobile where I immediately got lost (again), so my attention was diverted to finding Interstate 10. The next time I am through Semmes I will notice the immaculate streets and rejoice in the leadership quotient of that lovely town.

Brenda’s Blog – June 28, 2016

“This painting is a supreme statement on interiority.”

The Edward Hopper work, New York Movie, depicts a woman standing in the stairwell to the theater as the audience is seated watching the film. As in all his work, there is much darkness with a figure popping out as if a spotlight were focused on them. The mood he creates represents the Depression Era in America.

As I first read the commentary I stumbled over the word “interiority.” Then it totally intrigued me. What would be a supreme statement of my own interiority? Not my inferiority, but interiority. What colors would be used to express the inside of me? How about you?

What description of your internal makeup would you want to give to the world? How would it match with the external?
My Dad taught us to look at photographs and study the symmetry (or lack of) in a face. He was convinced when there is discontinuity inside the face reveals the conflict. I know there are exceptions, but it is an interesting exercise. Who we are inside eventually shows up, doesn’t it? The Bible tells us our actions have a direct correlation to the condition of our heart.

I recently asked a friend, “How are you?” She answered, “That is too general a question for all that is going on in my life. Ask something more specific?” I thought and then asked, “Where is your peace?” I was asking about her interiority.

A recent widow at church answered the “how are you?” question with a nod and the normal, “fine.” Then she looked up and said, “Not really fine, but doing as well as possible.” She is on the way to healing because she is in touch with her emotions and is willing to express them.

Hopper captured the drama of interiority. We must avoid putting on a brave face when war is waging inside. And, we must help each other by being trustworthy and true friends. We can work for an inside and outside in sync with one another.

Brenda’s Blog – June 14, 2016

“Hey, you there, in the cage!”

The billboard on Interstate 75 driving down toward Tampa caught my eye. I laughed out loud as I thought about it.

The Harley-Davidson ad certainly appeals to the secret biker in all of us. Yes, even this 70-something grandmother of nine! In fact, years ago I taped a picture of a curvy Colorado mountain road on my mirror and declared it to be my dream trip – on three wheels (I was never going to get down to two… )

Next step – taking the motorcycle license class. The first day we studied the rules of the road. Of course, I got the highest mark in the class. I was on the way to the Rocky Mountains. THEN the actual riding came. The moment the instructor asked me to surrender the bike and leave the class I knew I was never going to be cage free.

Unrealized dreams become fodder for funny stories.

We can look at that billboard in two ways. We absolutely make choices which put us in cages. Those limit our joy, our freedom, and our fulfillment. But alternatively, cages keep us from hazardous environments. For example, when shark-hunters explore their habitat they descend safely ensconced in wire cages – feeling grateful for the protection.

What cages do you remember? Which ones inhibited you? Which ones gave you safety? And what unrealized dreams now give you pause and a smile? Our stories make us real – let’s really always recall them. And ride free!

Brenda’s Blog – May 17, 2016

“Use your Rottweiler voice…”

My daughter stood talking with a friend at church. The subject of a new and undisciplined dog was the topic. As Heather told of the misbehavior, her friend, a dog trainer, said, “use your Rottweiler voice.” Then without notice she loudly yelled, “NO!” The ensuing silence startled my daughter. People turned to see what happened. Embarrassed, my daughter’s friend smiled and continued the conversation in her non-Rottweiler voice.

There are moments when full-throated responses are not only helpful, but necessary. Think of the times when everything in you screamed “ENOUGH!” We either responded to another’s violation or even our own bad decisions. Change often begins with a loud proclamation.

We can get tone deaf when we live with relational noise long enough. We tune out negativity, discouragement, and distraction. We train ourselves to live with mediocrity. We need to take an inventory and perhaps use our Rottweiler voice to clear the air.

I am a product of the television era. At five Howdy Doody and Uncle Bob entertained us. I learned to do my homework with Dick Clark in the background. Even today, it provides company as I live alone. I learn to shut it out, but frequently a commercial comes on with a pitch so ridiculous it breaks through my hearing. As I spent time writing recently, an ad for “right sized toilets” came through. How can you not stop and listen? They figured out how to use their Rottweiler voice to capture my attention.

Women learn the effective use of voice placement to successfully compete. “Shrill, whiney, grating” are words often used to describe many female voices. Well-modulated, well-placed vocal expressions get attention without irritating. Speaking to be heard is incredibly important. Barking may work for dogs, but not for women (or men for that matter).

Let’s employ our authoritative voices as we mature socially and professionally. Let’s listen to our own voices as we seek to make wise choices.

Brenda’s Blog – May 3, 2016

“They are talking so fast I can’t get the words to go into my ears.”

My grandson’s comment made me laugh. Then it made me stop and think. How many times have I had trouble “getting the words into my ears?” The barriers of dialect, rhythm, decibel level, content, or even interest made it hard for me to transform sound waves into recognizable words.

Mom and I loved watching the British comedies together. We laughed over and over at Hyacinth’s insistence on pronouncing her surname “Bouquet” rather than the naturally assumed pronunciation of their name “Bucket” as it was spelled. It never got old. Dad, however, did not enjoy them because he said he just couldn’t understand the words. His ears were not attuned to the high pitched, British voice.

In one version of the Bible the word “listen” is found 420 times; the word “hear” 1384 times. In contrast, the word “speak” is found 541 times. Listening is regarded as an important skill, at least to the Biblical authors.

Charles Stanley is a renowned Baptist preacher from Atlanta. Part of his delivery style is the sudden “LISTEN!” which he integrates frequently into his sermon. He emphasizes his points with punch.

“He who has ears to hear…” is a common Biblical phrase. Listening and hearing are important elements for mature, healthy people.

Listening is a significant topic in training classes. We are taught to “be present” at all times, alert and engaged.

That is hard, isn’t it? My mind likes to take its own road trips at times. Sincere listening is an expression of respect. But it isn’t always easy. Like most skills, it deserves attention and practice.

The next time you have a hard time getting the words in, think about honing your earfulness.

Brenda’s Blog – April 19, 2016

“He told me I forgot to nod, so I made sure I didn’t make that mistake again.”

My fifteen year old grandson and I are reenactors. Yes, at 72 I have found my calling! He and I are members of Neeley’s Roughnecks, an artillery group. We have uniforms and travel as many as six hours to participate in Civil War events.

Colby loves the jerk position – the one who wears the lanyard and applies the primer which then results in the explosion. (If any of you are cannoneers, forgive me if I lack the correct terminology). In simple terms – he makes the gun go “boom!” There is a very precise protocol for each position.

On Saturday he worked on a different cannon with a different officer (gunner). For one of the firings he missed one step and was reminded of the steps. Rather than chafe under the correction, he recognized the misstep and immediately worked to correct it. He did not miss one step the rest of the day.

The Bible tells us to “study to show ourselves approved.” We are not to be people who merely shoot from the hip. (Pardon the imagery) We are to be disciplined, prepared, and ready for action. Sloppy habits and lackadaisical behaviors are not marks of leaders. I grew up hearing “pay the price” as the byword for readiness.

How we accept correction is a sign of our character. If we bow our backs and refuse to change, we are immature and will diminish our growth. Those who are truly concerned about our progress will point out mistakes not to gloat or criticize but keep us aligned with our goal to be our best.

A key element in this situation was the credibility of the one bringing the correction. Colby had respect for the man’s experience, training, and knowledge. He trusted the ability of this officer to know how to perform at the highest levels. And in knowing this, he readily accepted the admonishment and succeeded.