Brenda’s Blog – January 2, 2018

“May I have a glass of white wine with my lunch, please?”

I spent the day with a friend who recently moved into a skilled nursing facility. At nearly 95, moves can be upsetting. We went through the morning protocol learning the new routines. Then we rolled down to lunch.

The level of decline is so apparent around the dining room tables. It is tempting to shrink away, wanting to ignore the inevitability of extreme aging – and perhaps dementia. But there are also special moments when the present reality slips away and a delightful world blossoms.

The lovely woman was having lunch with her visiting husband. I am sure she envisioned herself at lunch with her sweetheart, ordering a nice glass of white wine to accompany their luncheon. The aides kindly reminded her the choices were water, tea, milk, and cranberry juice.

A friend of mine worked with his father-in-law in commercial development. When his dementia required moving to a facility which offered more day to day care, he still enjoyed visits from his son-in-law. One day they walked down the hall of the nursing home. Out of the blue the father-in-law asked in a loud voice: “When in the heck did we buy this place? What were we thinking?” They hadn’t and yet that was his point of reference.

I don’t want that season to arrive any time soon. There are probably few who look forward to a current reality which includes loss of connection. However, our life plan is guided by a God who understands sweet women who order white wine in a dining hall filled with wheelchairs… or a man who couldn’t figure out why they had made an investment into a long-term facility. God knows and loves.

And so should we. This is a strange blog, isn’t it? The bottom line is a call to kindness, and patience. We shouldn’t distance ourselves from those whose capacity is impaired. We should reach out with a touch, and a time of looking into their eyes, knowing their lives matter. Life is precious – all the way to the last breath. We can be a blessing to the very young, and certainly to the very old!

Brenda’s Blog – December 19, 2017

“Onward through the fog!”

Oat Willie’s cry resonates far beyond his original circle of influence. Whether in business, politics, education, or even ministry his sentiment is used to express stepping into the unknown.

Recently I attended a meeting at Asbury University, located in the rolling hills of blue grass Kentucky. An evening’s function went late and a group decided to forage for food in the rural locale. A deep fog set in and returning to campus became treacherous. They were unable to see more than 8-10 feet in front of the car. And when their GPS announced, “You have arrived at your destination on the left,” they just stared into the dark gray unable to see the house which majestically sat on a hill, now enveloped in fog.

“People keep telling me to trust God, but I don’t know what that means. I want Him to show me what to do and to let me see the future. This is really hard.” The woman sat down next to me at the hotel and began telling me her story. She teared up as she related a painful story of displacement and loneliness. I kept thinking she was living in a fog of faith.

What can we learn? Driving in fog requires special skills. Despite our immediate instinct, the bright lights need to be exchanged for lower beams (or fog lights if available). Speed must be adjusted to conditions. Pressures from drivers behind must be ignored. Finally, listening to the GPS and not depending on visual clues is necessary.

When our life falls into the unknown, we apply these same principles, don’t we? We slow down trusting God to give us the light we need. We know He is the “light on our path.” We rely on His voice through the word and the confidence given by the Spirit. We do not operate by trusting in our own wisdom and instincts, but by leaning on Him. Often, we want to rush through these foggy times, but we put our maturity in danger. And, we must hold to the truths which are foundational. Others will come around us with recommendations. They will come with accusations. But we need to stay the course checking our decisions against the word, the Spirit, and the counsel of Christians we trust.

We know faith operates in the unseen, but we also know our God leads us along. When the fog rolls in, let’s declare our belief in our God who knows the way through the wilderness, and the “foggy bottoms.”

Brenda’s Blog – December 5, 2017

Gram, this isn’t good – you are in the B lane.”

As we got in the Whataburger line I expected a wait because the line was longer than usual. However, after we ordered the voice said, “Get in the B lane.” I had no idea what she meant until Colby pointed out the side track with a large “B” painted on it.

We waited and waited, watching car after car move through the A lane. Eventually, our food was delivered by a young, shining worker. I am sure the newest hires get the job of delivering to those not-so-happy B laners!

Then I started thinking about the other B lanes in my life when I felt like I was pulled out of the main flow. It isn’t easy seeing others receive promotions clearly you deserved, or being a single woman celebrating with friends at their weddings, or even listening to stories of great ways God has used them.

“I want to be in the A lane!” But is that right? Does being pulled to the side necessarily mean second class? Absolutely not. In fact, on that Sunday morning it gave me more time with my grandson – and a memory to laugh about.

“How are you doing?” “This wouldn’t have been my Plan A, but God’s Plan B is a great blessing.” My friend’s husband died in a plane crash while serving a Christian ministry. She raised children and completed a seminary degree afterwards, receiving high honors. Later on, she did remarry very happily. It made me think about God’s plan for our lives. As a strong believer in His sovereignty I am not sure I think there is ever a Plan B in His mind – everything is what He ordained. But understanding that changes in life have a feel of plan shifts I totally understand her answer.

God is so good. Whatever He brings into our lives is for our growth. Learning opportunities are everywhere – whether in the B lane of Whataburger, or facing dramatic events like widowhood. Learning to trust isn’t easy and certainly takes lots of lab time. But He is faithful, just, and patient – and seemingly eager to give us just what we need to grow in grace.

Brenda’s Blog – November 21, 2017

“Are you a thermometer or a thermostat?”

I am Gram to nine grandchildren and two great-grands. As I pray for them I ask for protection, God’s saving grace, and peace. And as they get older I pray for them to make wise choices about friends. This is one of the questions they must answer in order to create healthy relationships.

I want them to know if they are a thermostat or a thermometer. What is the difference? A thermometer reflects the temperature in the room; a thermostat sets it. It is the same way in social situations.

Is it weak to be a thermometer? By no means. Think how critically important it is to determine if we have a fever – we need an accurate instrument which gives us a proper reading. Groups are the same way – they need those who feel temperature changes and alert the others. The danger comes when the thermostats are so strong they ignore any negative changes.

Thermostats can heat up or cool down activities. They are the ones who pull others along. They are the lead dogs. Therefore, it is vitally important for them to have a strong moral compass. Their natural strengths can be used for good or ill. Their charisma can move a group positively to achieve great things or their magnetism can lead others down a risky path.
Our society makes value judgments which elevate thermostats. They have a serious responsibility to themselves and others. Change makers carry the weight of leadership. But thermometers must use their discernment to alert without alarming. They are the monitors of social environments.

I know each of my grandchildren has a unique design, given by God to achieve their purpose. My prayer is for those who are thermostats to be shining examples of Godly leadership and those who are thermometers to have strength in reading situations and understanding when the temperature isn’t positive. My admonition to them is always “Be bold and of good courage in whatever God calls you to do.”

Brenda’s Blog – November 7, 2017

“I had to think all the time when I was at work, so now that I am retired I don’t think anymore.”

Stop a minute and chew on that one! Raised in a family which valued thinking as a core value, this man’s statement struck me as not only strange, but almost incomprehensible.

The Bible says: “As a person thinks, so are they.” For you purists, I know the KJV says “a man thinketh,” but I think I have the freedom to expand the text. This presupposes thought, doesn’t it? And it underscores the critical nature of the process.

I once saw a humorous comedy routine describing the differences in men and women. One of the distinctives was the ability of men to absolutely put their brains into neutral gear – and exist happily. When the wife says, “What are you thinking?” he responds, “Nothing” and means it! I subscribe more to the Facebook meme which says “Closing my eyes is the open door to reminding me of all those things I haven’t done all day.” Minds just won’t shut off sometimes.

But that isn’t really productive thinking, is it? What the Bible is talking about pertains to our worldview, our perspective on life, and as A.W. Tozer says “What a man thinks about when he thinks about God is the most important thing about him.” The way we view the nature of God and the nature of man – and the way we participate is important.

Zig Ziglar fondly spoke of “stinkin’ thinkin’.” He knew the way we think impacts the way we live. And he knew the way we think about not only God, but ourselves directs us. Thinking rightly is healthy and wise.

Consequently, taking an “I’m not thinking anymore” position sets a person up for a cruise down the rapids without a good game plan. Let’s think clearly, intentionally, and purposefully to make each day one worthy of remembering in the future (as Zig taught!)

Brenda’s Blog – October 24, 2017

“Christ-Fest: Battle of the Worship Bands”

I turned the corner in the little East Texas town and the sign caught my eye. Then I turned to my grandson Colby and started laughing. “There is just something off-kilter about that, don’t you think?”

Yes, we sing Onward Christian Soldiers and as children we certainly march around singing “We’re in the Lord’s Army.” We put on the spiritual armor and attach posters to the walls of our children’s rooms reminding them that we are part of a much bigger battle between good and evil.

But battling for bragging rights as the victorious worship band? Irony drapes itself all over the idea!

It makes me think of the conflict among those of “The Way” and the way we all too often injure, maim, and disable other believers because they don’t agree on our spiritual practice preferences – or even the way we “do church.” What a shame it is to pit one Christian against another to win what? A trophy of pride. Certainly no trophies of grace are handed out in these intramural contests. We are brothers and sisters in Christ and yet we devour one another way too often.

I know the worship bands will be wailing away praising Jesus and amping up the sound to impress the audience, but is it the right message to send? Will heaven be one eternal, everlasting vying for approval? I think not.

A Catholic bishop spoke recently by invitation on the meaning of the Reformation. He was a gracious (and brave) man to address the topic. He was adept in avoiding theological landmines and instead chose to focus on the importance of unity and the things which bring us together rather than dividing us. A wise man who has probably seen one too many battles in his clerical years.

“They will know you by your love one for another.” Yes, let’s battle and battle strongly with boldness and courage, but let’s make sure our guns are pointed at the true enemy, avoiding friendly fire.

Brenda’s Blog – October 10, 2017

“Your sunroof is for sunny days!”

I love my sunroof – it is my compromise for the convertible-longing which will probably never be satisfied. There is only one negative: it isn’t designed to protect the interior from rain without direction. No, mine isn’t defective – none of them automatically close at the first rain drop… it is a manual operation. And when the driver locks the doors securely, checks into the hotels, and curls up in bed the car is on its own in a rain.

Imagine my surprise when I unlocked my door and noticed soggy books and papers on the passenger side. Then surveying the interior further, I discovered wet seats, console, and dashboard. Thankfully, it wasn’t a gully-washer, but certainly enough to get my attention.

Strangely the day before I visited the Ark Encounter, bought an umbrella, and casually laid it across the space between the front and back seats. Even though it wasn’t open, it’s broad, deep folds gathered water. Noah was saved by a gigantic boat; my interior was protected by a rainbow-hued bumbershoot.

After a good mopping up (and laying my Bible out to dry) I went on toward Tennessee. I thought about how safe I thought I was because I covered all the luggage with either a blanket or the built in shade. I locked the doors activating the alarm. I was a good steward! But I left the sun roof open.

Then it hit me. Haven’t there been times when I thought I had the bases covered but in haste forgot a critical element? Haven’t there been times when pride got in the way?

It makes me think about the soft spots in my character. Where am I vulnerable to ethical downpours? Where have I left openings for spiritual rain? Taking time to check my attitude, my heart, my motivations, and my desires can protect me from drizzly failures. When I let my guard down, I risk making mistakes which will require remediation.

Brenda’s Blog – September 26, 2017

“Ring the bell and something happens”

The line at the post office grew, as did the frustration. “Where is the postal clerk?” “Is anybody working today?” Our small rural facility doesn’t hold a very long line, but this agitated group made much noise.

Finally, someone saw a small hand-lettered sign on the crowded counter: “Ring the bell for service.” Quickly the first person walked up, dinged the bell (several times), and sure enough – a friendly postal worker arrived from the backroom. Each person was served efficiently. The man behind me smiled and said, “Ring the bell and something happens.”

I looked at him, smiled, and said “That’ll preach.” As a lay preacher, he thoughtfully said, “I think I will have to figure out how to use that.” I knew immediately – it was a blog post.

I also thought of the times in my life when I either figuratively or literally sat behind a parked car, fussing and fuming. So many times when I am stuck or at least at a standstill it isn’t because the system is broken, but because I am not in sync. The postal workers didn’t hide in the back wanting to frustrate us. No, they did their sorting work knowing that when they were needed in the front someone would ring the bell.

What bells need ringing in our lives? Are there relationships that seem to be at a dead end, but really just need the ring of a bell to enliven it? What are the assumptions we make at work that create long lines? Is there a solution waiting if we would only read the fine print on the signs? Where are the obvious log jams which only require an objective evaluation and appropriate action? Where are you standing in a line complaining when just a simple action would result in something happening?

Brenda’s Blog – September 12, 2017

“This is not just a bar – it’s an adventure.”

Driving through farmland of Illinois, I entered Minden (population 250). I pulled up to the stop sign in mid-town and looked around. The words on the building made me smile. What a positive outlook.

Wouldn’t it be fun to fill in the blanks for our own journeys? I am not just a ________; I am a ________. This pushes us to move beyond the boundaries of what we do to the consideration of who we are. The art of being is often put on the back burner as we focus diligently on the science of doing.

Hurricane Irma is bearing down on the Gulf Coast of Florida. The Governor Rick Scott has given regular updates. Each time he uses the language: “I am a father and a grandfather. I love my family. I want them to be safe and I want every single Floridian safe, as well.” These heartfelt words express more than his function as executive officer of the state. He is talking in “Am” language.

Who else did this? Our Almighty God when He conversed with Moses. “I AM that I AM.” He was the creator of the Universe, savior of the Hebrew nation, and sovereign God – He had much to put on His business card. But He chose to identify Himself in being words.

Following Him is not just a religion – it is a relationship. The adventure of faith is worth the dedication of our lives. He is not just a force, or a spooky Grandfather – He is our ALL in ALL. He is the ultimate definition of true life. HE IS AN ADVENTURE.

Brenda’s Blog – August 29, 2017

“That’s why we sing”

The bluegrass gospel group The Purple Hulls performed at the Big Sandy Music Hall in Texas last night. These twin sisters play multiple instruments, compose, and sing. Their professionalism is enhanced by their personable, authentic delivery. Fingers flew as they switched from banjo to guitar to mandolin and back again – over and over for two hours.

Their final number included the line “That’s why we sing.” Driving home I considered these words and started musing about my “why I sing.” Isn’t this a beautiful way to begin developing a purpose statement? Rather than impersonally listing strengths and weaknesses, wouldn’t it be fun to simply say “Why do I sing?”

Years ago I heard someone say, “Don’t die with your music in you.” As a Christian I don’t believe God takes me out until He has accomplished His purposes and finished His work. But I do know I have choices about the way I spend my time, use my gifts, and invest my money. I would like to leave shooting for a high C. As an alto moving toward tenor, this would indeed be a stretch!

The old gospel hymn says “I sing because I’m happy; I sing because I’m free. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He cares for me.” That is a good reason to sing.

Our song should express who we believe we are designed to be by God. Our song should resonate with praise for our Maker. The more we sing, the more convinced we should be about the fit. “This is my story, this is my song” wrote Fanny Crosby. Owning our song strengthens us.

Let’s sing our songs with fervor. Let’s eagerly vocalize our purpose.