Brenda’s Blog – January 21, 2014

The weather news said, “Flooding in Craighead County – roads covered with water.” It didn’t mean much to me as I traveled through driving rain in Arkansas — until I passed a “welcome to Craighead County” sign. Life is sometimes like that, isn’t it?

Shortly after entering the flood zone I noticed another sign: “Road dangerous when under water.” The rain was coming down in buckets, but the cars were coming from the other side, so I assured myself it was passable.  And, it was only 15 miles – how bad could it be?  At the “8 miles to Jonesboro” marker I felt like I had been driving for hours.  Seeing the water rise out of the boundaries on each side and lap against the road made me harken back to “when under water.”

It was barely light, the cars from the opposite direction were noticeably fewer, and then I saw water creeping across the highway.  I could see the road in between and knew I had enough room to pass through on pavement, so I proceeded, but not without thinking about being the “foolish old lady” who ignored warnings.

God was good — as it got dark and the water came up over the road, I turned on to a US highway and made the last 5 miles on “higher ground.”

To the dismay of my children (grown though they may), who groan when I begin with “life lesson,” I saw some very distinct principles illustrated:

1) When Craighead County says their roads are dangerous under water, don’t ignore it.  There are times when we are given distinct, discernible warnings and we choose to look the other way;

2)  Tunnel vision in achieving a goal can blind us to precarious choices we may make on the way;

3) Stupidity and perseverance are not synonymous; and

4) Always remember! We have a God who knows our weariness, sees the water creeping over our roads, and never leaves us.

Brenda’s Blog – January 7, 2014

 “I’m FREE!” That simple text expressed my sister’s release from ice imposed house arrest.  The first day was fun – a day off from work.  The second and third days were challenging.  And by day four she was marking her hours of incarceration by staring out the window, hoping to be sprung.  (Actually, she was hoping for Spring!)

A friend of mine emailed to tell of a dream in which she watched the church move away from the bondage of darkness.  The great hymn puts it this way, “My chains fell off; my heart was free; I went forth and followed Thee.”

What chains entangle you?  What habits tie you up, hindering your progress?

One of my dear friends is in rehab.  The current assignment is to write out the life story.  “Where did the anger begin?” “Where did the hopelessness and powerlessness take hold?”

“In the free” is the slang for walking out of jail.  We don’t have to wear orange jumpsuits to be psychologically incarcerated.  And, we don’t have to be sentenced by a judge – we can judge ourselves declaring guilt that is undeserved.  But we have the right to claim life “in the free.”

The grace of God through Christ Jesus pours down mercy hour by hour.  Morning by morning we can receive His gifts of freedom. We are free to live without recrimination.  We are free to throw off those shackles which slow us down.

As an influencer, what is holding you back?  As a decision maker, what is hampering your effectiveness? What lies are you believing that put up road blocks? 

Break free — put your life in four wheel drive and hit the road.  There may be a few icy spots, but always remember – turn into the slide and you will be fine.

Brenda’s Blog – December 24, 2013

“They call me Virginia, the navigator…I am glad you found us.”

It was getting late; I had driven many miles; I was ready to quit. All well and good except for one thing: I couldn’t find the hotel. It was a national chain with an address near an interstate exit. No problem, so why was I lost? Why was I getting frustrated?

Finally, admitting defeat I called the hotel and sweetly said, “Where are you?” (Probably not so sweetly!) “People get lost all the time,” she answered before giving me turn by turn directions.

“You are without a doubt the hardest place I have ever tried to find.” Laughingly she said, “Yes, everybody ends up calling, so the regulars have a name for me: “Virginia, the navigator.” Her voice and manner was truly sweet.

“Why in the world are you built so far back on this crazy site and why in the world don’t you have signage?” “Oh, that’s easy. Our owners are from out of town and they already had this piece of land. The other hotels are owned by one man and he made it impossible for anyone else to put up any signs. You have to really want to get here!”

Virginia was a model employee with a tremendous sense of hospitality, but her employers had put her in a tough spot. Virginia understood making lemonade from lemons.

Max DePree says servant leadership is providing all the resources necessary for the employees to be all they can be, accomplishing all they can. Where do we hinder others from achieving? Where do we tie weights around their ankles, expecting them to run a winning race?

And then, what circumstances hamper our progress? Do we recognize the power we have to become a Virginia, or do we collapse into complaining and mediocrity?

How can we create an environment for others that challenge them to succeed? And how can we respond to our challenges with humor, and professionalism?

A well-known newspaper column years ago began his answer to a little girl’s question: “Is there a Santa Claus?” with the famous words, “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”

The same spirit of love, hope, and goodwill the newspaper correspondent described still exists in this modern day Virginia. Merry Christmas to you, Ms. Navigator. Thank you for being a lighthouse on a dark night.

Brenda’s Blog – December 10, 2013

“The boy didn’t make it snow – God did!” My three year old grandson Will had it right.

The story told of a little boy who badly wanted snow. His Grandfather told him to try all sorts of silly things to bring down the white, fluffy stuff. Nothing worked. Finally, he did a snow dance and sure enough, the rain turned into flakes and covered the ground. “I did it! I made it snow!”

Without even a word, my grandson looked me in the eye and reminded me of the true truth.
His candor reminded me of a cold, snowy Christmastime in Dallas when I parked the car in a crowded mall lot, went in with my grandson Andrew to enjoy time together. When we left it was dark, and I couldn’t remember where I parked. We walked and walked and walked. Finally, Andrew spotted the car! “Thank you, Jesus” was my response. “How come you thanked Jesus? I found the car!”

There is a balance, isn’t there? Taking credit for weather conditions is foolish. Failing to acknowledge the diligence of a 9 year old is negligent.

I truly believe God is evident in all things. I believe He allowed Andrew the joy of finding the car. And, I also believe He gave Will the insight to understand who is the true maker of weather.

Showing Andrew the power of prayer and the joy of being the beneficiary of God’s providential grace was the “teachable moment” that cold December night. Celebrating with Will in his belief in our sovereign God allowed us a time to share the goodness and awesomeness of this same God.

As the Mom of three young ones I didn’t have the patience or strength to look for these spiritual vignettes. Aging brings the blessing of perspective. I thank the Lord for these “wee bites” which strengthen my heart and stretch them.

Brenda’s Blog – November 26, 2013

“World famous glass bathrooms” read the billboard luring travelers to stop in Sulphur Springs, TX. Personally, it raised more questions than interest. But it made me think about distinctives.

Companies work hard to distinguish themselves. Some do it by product design, others by advertising campaigns, and still others by pricing strategies. Businesses want positive name recognition.

A friend once worked for a CEO whose genius was creating bizarre morale builders. His head first dive into a pool of Jello fired up the sales force. Another thrilled the employees each day bounding into the international headquarters two steps at a time dressed in running shorts. Definitely distinctive They chose to be recognized for their independent quirkiness.

While working as a recruiter for a large insurance company we used a personality test consisting simply of fifty descriptive words on two sides of one page. The only difference: one side said, “Check the words you would use to describe yourself.” The other side said, “Check the words others would use to describe you.” Surprising how many saw themselves one way and expected others to view them differently.

Peter Greer, speaker at a Catalyst meeting, talked about ways to enter into conversation without leading with “what do you do?” In his list of alternative opening questions, he included, “What one word would others use to describe you?”
What one word would you use to describe yourself? What is your distinctive? What differentiates you from the other hundreds of millions sharing this planet?

I want my word to reflect my purpose and mission. I want my word to identify my heart’s desires. I want my word to express my longing for a life that counts. My word? Connect. What’s yours?

Brenda’s Blog – November 12, 2013

“I didn’t think there was anything outside of Longview, Hallsville, and Marshall. Then I went to China.”

The student told of his overseas study adventure as part of the chapel service. His naturally worn cowboy attire told me he was indeed a native Texan. The first sentence stayed with me. What is opening my world right now? What amazes me and creates a sense of awe?

I thought of another young man from Appalachian America who left home for the first time to spend a semester at Disney World. He returned to Kentucky with a deeper appreciation for his strong roots and his unfurled wings.

In college my parents bought a ticket for a friend to accompany me to North Carolina. It was her first plane trip. Her emotional response as we crossed the country touched me. That trip began a lifetime of discovery for her.

We go to Christian colleges and universities to “stretch and bless the next generation of leaders…to the glory of God.” We leave stretched and blessed. Their world is full of hope and promise. Their world is unhindered by geographical boundaries. Their energy for change is contagious.

Reduced options is one of the symptoms of aging. Our worlds get smaller; our walls grow higher; our healthy restlessness diminishes.

I may never challenge the Great Wall of China again but new roads lie ahead. I am not ready to call it quits. I am still eager to wake up each morning with, “Hello, world, where are we going today?”

Brenda’s Blog – October 29, 2013

“God loves us.  God is not a meanie. I am not afraid.  Say it Mommy, ‘I am not afraid.’”

These words were spoken by a 3 year old girl dying of brain cancer.  Leadership is not age sensitive.  No degrees, no certifications, no titles, no powerful positions — just qualities that cause others to follow.

Phoebe Fair led all of us during her 21 months of illness.  Why?  She had vision; she had passion; she had direction.  She understood her mission, and stayed the course.

Most of us will not be asked to travel Phoebe’s path, but each of us is asked to be faithful to our calling.  Leading a corporation, a Christian organization, a family unit, or a campus ministry….all share the same common elements: defining reality, setting the vision, understanding constructive strengths and destructive weaknesses, capturing the loyalty of others to the vision, effective communication of direction, and the ability to move the group forward.

How could a 4 year old do this?  During her lifetime she received thousands of personal messages weekly, had 75,000 followers of her Facebook page, filled the sanctuary of a major church for her service, and continues to touch lives worldwide.  How could that not be leadership?  Her life was her mission; her love for Jesus was her passion; her eagerness to encourage others was her uniqueness.

Never underestimate your LQ – leadership quotient.  You don’t need position, power, and prominence…you simply need to influence and move others to action.  Lead on!

Brenda’s Blog – October 15, 2013

“Why ‘Fortitude’?” I surprised myself as I asked the young man about his arm’s length tattoo.  His response got my immediate attention. “It means courage.  There is a story behind it and it reminds me I will never be a coward again. I will never let fear make me cower.”

The chairs in the coffee shop became pew-like in this sacred space.  The conversation unfolded easily.

“The do-not-fears in the Bible have really helped me this year.  Fighting fear is real to me, as well.  I started studying this because it dawned on me even in the Bible fearful people made really stupid decisions.  I looked at my life and saw the same pattern.  Fear is no friend of clear thought.”

He nodded, picked up his iPad and started searching the do-nots.  His face brightened and the interest increased.  Two strangers engaged in life-strengthening.

We talked for a few more minutes, and as he left he stopped to say, “This was meant to be.”

“Start with Joshua 1:9 – it is the cornerstone; and be fortified.”

A brief exchange with the thumbprint of God all over it.

I have no idea why he fervently inked the reminder on his arm…it doesn’t matter.  His resolve to stand fearlessly marks him more deeply than the tat.

What is your word?  What is your story?  Then whose story are you missing because you don’t ask the question?  Open eyes, minds, and hearts lead us into the most exceptional surprises.

Brenda’s Blog – October 1, 2013

Welcome to the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute website.  Our organization’s mission is “stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders…to the glory of God.”  The on-line archive of wisdom God gave my Dad, Fred Smith,Sr., is housed at breakfastwithfred.com  You will find a leadership library filled with timeless principles, pithy statements of truth, and challenging questions.

Our on-campus events are affectionately known as “24 hour leadership blitzes” because a team of leading men and women (mostly over 65) land on campus and immerse themselves in the community for a power-packed 24 hours.  We come to start conversations and create connections.  We are in classrooms, chapel, athletic sessions, community outreaches, dorm conversations, mealtimes, and any other possible venue that gives us a chance to share leadership principles and our faith experience.

Bwfli.com is a way to continue the conversation.

Periodically I will host this blog spot.  It will be a place to think about leadership in light of everyday experiences.  I am an “out and about” person.  I love listening to people’s stories and finding transferable themes!

Enjoy the website then grab a coffee and join me as we explore the paths God creates for us.  Come back and we will start sharing ideas.

Please think about:  1) Who first said, “I believe in you?”  2) How has it impacted your direction? 3) What is the power of belief?

Dad once told me, “There’s magic in believing as long as you don’t believe in magic!”