Brenda’s Blog – May 22, 2018

Dad loved Andrea Crouch’s song “Through It All.”

Before the Fred-in-the-Bed group left each Saturday morning, Dad asked them to sing the chorus. We gathered around the piano singing loudly so he could hear from his bed. In his last hours I sat in the hospital room reading to him.

When we finished our daily passage he said quietly, “I’ve learned to trust in Jesus; I’ve learned to trust in God.” He soon lapsed into unconsciousness and those became his last words. Trust in God is more than a devotional subject. It is a declaration of victory at life’s end.

Maturity is not avoiding the rough seas, but knowing we can make it through by trusting God. Perseverance is not gritting our teeth, but seeing the source of strength and attaching ourselves to the Rock in the storm.

Father God, may our final breaths be used to express hope and acclamation. And as we live may our trust continue to grow ever stronger. How we love you and how we worship you as the one worthy of all trust.

Brenda’s Blog – May 8, 2018

“They have a sweet spot. If you find it, they work just fine.”

My son-in-law fixes Hello, Fresh meals three nights a week at my house while working out of town. I watched him manipulate an old, stubborn pair of scissors to open one of the neatly packaged ingredients. “Don’t you want me to find you another pair that would work better?” “No, I have figured out the sweet spot.”

As he cut across the bag, I thought about his words. Aren’t we like that? Don’t we have people in our lives who seem to be difficult, rusty, and hard to manage? Strangely enough, others seem to have a gift of working with them without tension and resistance. What is the secret? Finding the sweet spot… we all have them.

Gary Chapman wrote about Love Languages decades ago. His premise: each of us has a distinct way of receiving love. He believed most strife in relationships came from the inadequacy of recognizing and operating in the other’s love language. One is “Words of Affirmation.” Another is “Gifts.” And “Acts of Service” makes the list, too. One of our biggest difficulties is discovering the other’s language and not trying to use our own language as a “one size fits all.”

A dear friend definitely values time spent and words of affirmation. Her husband is clearly a gifts and acts of service kinda guy. He spends their weekends washing the car, buying her flowers, and generally believing himself to be extravagantly loving his wife. She longs for time over a cup of coffee, talking, and receiving reassurance of her value. She constantly tries to engage him in “meaningful conversation,” to his frustration. Both head their separate ways on Monday wondering how they missed so badly.

Finding our own sweet spot is key, as well. There are times when I feel like that old pair of scissors, trying so very hard to perform a task, but doing it badly or failing entirely. Oh, but when I am doing something in my giftedness, those blades just whiz through making clean, sharp cuts.

Looking for the sweet spot in others makes life work. Finding my own sweet spot gives my work life.

Brenda’s Blog – April 24, 2018

“God is not a meanie.”

Phoebe Fair was four years old with cancer which soon took her precious young life. Her faith was mature and pure. Her trust in God ministered to all who knew her. But even more than that, her faith stretched world-wide as the story spread. As a member of the Zig Ziglar family, Phoebe’s platform for her witness went “to the uttermost parts of the earth.”

Even more significant than her reach was the profound knowledge of the Most High. He wasn’t a far away, impersonal force. He was her very special Abba… Father. And her relationship showed everyone around her the reality which takes a lifetime to achieve. In her short life, she walked and talked with God… and taught us all what that could be. She knew Jesus loved her – and she loved Him back.

What would you say about who God is? Would multi-syllabic theological terms be your go to? Would question marks fill your mind?

Theology is the study of the nature and character of God. Phoebe was a theologian of the highest order. My brother asked my Dad at the end of his life, “If you only had one more talk to give, what would be your topic? “ Dad answered, “The nature of God and the nature of man.” Dad taught us a correct understanding of each allowed life to make sense.

There are times when we doubt the goodness of God. We question His processes and wonder about the outcomes which we see (or more often don’t see). When those gray days come perhaps we can reflect on sweet little Phoebe who is enjoying the eternal presence of the God she loved and trusted and say, “God is not a meanie.” He is a working God who has it all under control and shows us His love through Christ Jesus. We can pray for child-like to love Him completely.

Brenda’s Blog – April 10, 2018

“Put on the shield of faith to ward off the fiery darts of the evil one.”

One of my favorite visuals is the spiritual armor from Ephesians 6. I try diligently (but not truly consistently) to “put on the armor” each morning before I start the day. One of my most important pieces is the shield of faith. It isn’t the tiny little hand shield, but the large one used to form a strong front for the entire line of warriors. It required several people to stand together connecting their shields in front, along the sides, and over the heads. It created an iron box which protected from the flaming arrows.

These days those arrows are flying fast. If I walk into the day without the protection, I am a sitting duck. What are those darts? Discouragement, distress, distrust, depression – all those D-arts. And there is a vocal track which accompanies the whizzing weapons. “You are not good enough; your children are hurting and where is God? You are making a mess of everything.” And as the song says, “on and on and on and on it goes. BUT faith says, “No, you are my child and you are in my plan. Your family is Mine and I have them in my hand.” NOTHING can separate me from the love of God.

What darts are aimed at your heart? Where are your soft spots? Enlist others to stand behind the shield with you. The last part of the armor verses says, “having done all to stand firm, pray at all times in the Spirit.” Join with others to form a shield which the enemy of our souls cannot pierce.

Let me pray with you – and you pray with me. Let’s be soldiers of the Cross together.

Brenda’s Blog – March 27, 2018

“It was only a crack on the north side, we didn’t think it was serious.”

A pedestrian bridge collapsed in Florida this week killing at least four people. Until the crash it was a media event because of the speed of construction and the cost-effective construction methods. THEN IT HAPPENED.

In the aftermath studies reveal numerous safety complaints and warnings. Substandard construction methods are coming to light. Too little light – too very late.

I thought about people I have known… those who wanted the flashy, rise to the top in a hurry success. They drew much attention and acclaim. But eventually the underpinnings gave way and something crashed, either a relationship, a career, or personal integrity.

There are technological advances which allow progress, but there are also rules of physics which bow to no shortcuts. The same applies for our character. We can find ways to skip a few of the stepping stones, but ultimately it catches up to us.
The cracks start to show. Some close to us recognize the fault lines, but they are either ignored or passed over. We may look on the exterior, but the interior is rotting like a tree that looks good until it falls, letting all see the hollow core.

Pressure often shows us where the weak areas are, just like the bridge. Elevators, bridges, sky platforms – all have weight limits. When exceeded the structure can crater. We are like that, too. Stresses challenge us and if not corrected, bring us down.

I am sad about those who lost their lives in this tragic accident. I am sad, also, for those marriages, businesses, churches, and communities who are impacted by the implosion of leaders.

Cracks are serious – they signal lack of structural integrity. Cracks in our character should be taken seriously, too. Getting to the top too quickly without building the necessary infrastructure is an open invitation to collapse and catastrophe.

Brenda’s Blog – March 13, 2018

“Natalie’s Garden and Nursery”

The colorful sign with floral details drew my attention. The lettering was feminine yet not fussy. The painted door welcomed visitors. The crudely drawn word “CLOSED” and the overgrown weeds indicated the end of Natalie’s dream. The care taken in the front walk, the small Victorian building, and the hope of sharing her love for gardening were still apparent, but the condition of the property told a story of a journey’s end.

I have no idea what happened. Did the small Alabama town not share the vision of a quaint enterprise? Did the little house tucked off the main road deter customers? Did Natalie run out of money? Did she experience staff, health, or personal relationship problems?

I will never know, but it made me think about other dreams which grew for a time then bore the CLOSED placard. Why do some flourish and others fail? Why are some nurtured while others collapse?

These life turns can be learning moments for us. We can give our dreams a decent burial, take away the lessons, and focus on the next step. But this is the rub. Too many times we cradle the lifeless hope, wishing vitality to return. We think perseverance means never throwing in the towel, but stubbornness results in throwing way too many hours, and dollars after it. Churchill is quoted for his “never, never, never give up.” However, there is another maxim which aptly guides: “When the horse is dead, dismount.”

As I drove down the road I considered Natalie and wished for her a productive, blooming life. I envisioned a sense of adventure with other gardens of different varieties blossoming. Perhaps this enterprise had a short lifetime (based on the brightness of the paint and landscaping), but somewhere Natalie is taking this experience and turning it into something beautiful.

I also thought about the dreams in my life… some expanded beyond my imagining; others deflated like a week old helium balloon. But I am stronger, wiser, and even more optimistic. I know myself, my gifts, and strengths… yes. But I also know what areas need serious bolstering where potholes lie in wait for my dream mobile.

Dreams energize us. The excitement of seeing an idea come to life vitalizes us. We must never give up looking ahead, but we must also know that dreams can have expiration dates and the wisdom to read the code helps us grow.

Brenda’s Blog – February 27, 2018

“I made a mistake, I have adult selections on my TV, and I can’t get the channel to exit.”

Thinking I could use the remote in the dark, I pushed buttons Then I stared at the TV across the room not willing to recognize what I was seeing. An entire screen filled with PPV choices – and none of them anywhere close to the “G” range.

I pushed every button, clicked everything I could find – and nothing. Jeremy of the cable carrier tech staff stifled laughter as he helped this old, shocked lady. Then he couldn’t deactivate it either. Finally, with hard work and his searching around my TV, the problem was solved.

I did not know he could check into my connection box and see absolutely everything that was going on with my TV. He walked around, searched the controls, and made me feel somewhat creepy. But then I started laughing.

Just a few hours earlier in the day a friend wrote to tell me a pornographic link was sent by email with my address. She was surprised and wondering.

The fiery darts were definitely from the dark realm.

What did I learn? What principles can I find?

1) None of us is immune to electronic bombardment and attacks of the evil one.

2) We are all to be constantly aware of our environment.

3) We need to know how to quickly shut down invasions… lead us not into temptation.

I thought – these movies were on my TV all the time – all the time my teenage grandkids were in my house – all the time guests who may have been vulnerable slept in the bedrooms. The tech said, “You can put a pin on it so you can use it when you want.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I felt like my house which was dedicated to the Lord and His work was polluted by an enemy agent.

They are blocked. Remember when we were children and we sang, “Be careful little eyes, ears, mouths what you see, hear, say?” It still applies to us. At railroad crossings we were taught to stop, look, and listen. That applies to the world of electronic communication, too.

Brenda’s Blog – February 3, 2018

“What key, what key?”

In the sixties one of Stevie Wonder’s recordings has a moment when he is heard calling out, “What key, what key?” I always enjoyed his musical dexterity….the ability to fall in with the group, no matter what the key.

My parents graciously provided me with music lesson throughout my school years. The piano is still a highly favored part of my environment. In all the study I learned to sight read, to play with expression, and to use it for ministry.

Two things I did not master were transposition and modulation. Both are parts of musical theory, but different in application. Often vocalists prefer a key which is different from the one published on the music. Accomplished accompanists simply play it in the new key by seeing the patterns. They will begin in a new key.

Modulation varies in its use. Regularly, musicians will start a number in one key, then either by verse, or phrase raise a half step at a time, enhancing the dramatic impact of the music. One of the finest examples is the tradition of changing keys for the fourth verse of a hymn. It is a natural progression for many southern gospel performers.

Okay, if you have read this far with me, let me tell you why I started thinking about these two operations.

In life there are times when the key is changed from the outset. Clearly, the direction you are going is not a fit. So, before you commit to a job, a relationship, a location etc. you realize this is the wrong key. So, you still follow your path, but in a different key, with different people, places, or things. You transpose in order to perform with great impact.

Modulation, on the other hand, happens in the midst of the journey. It is the idea of making a subtle change which will raise the intensity and the outcome. It can “amp up” the energy. Most times it will feel natural and even expected. Other times it is a surprise bringing excitement and a sense of building to a flourish.

Look back on your life, noting the transpositions and the modulations. Recognize the difference and the important use of both. Then play your life music well with enthusiasm and confidence.

Brenda’s Blog – January 30, 2018

“Son, we are never needing these again.”

My friend and his parents told of their bold adventure from Boston to Southern California forty-five years ago on a bone-chilling winter’s day.

“I took my four year old son into the men’s room before the flight. I told him to hang his snowsuit on a hook. I hung my bulky parka next to it. When we prepared to leave my son prepared to zip into his Michelin tire attire. ‘No, leave it there. I am not taking mine, either. Where we are going we will need these again!’”

And thus began their foray into the future, leaving extended family, career, and the known for the promise of a future in the land of the unknown.

As they reflected on nearly 50 years later, they see God’s leading. Abraham went out in the same way “not knowing where he was going,” the writer of Hebrews tells us. It was a calculated risk because the father saw the brightness of the coastal opportunities, but it was still bold.

Their stories need capturing. Their faith speaks to the hearts of us who want to live expectantly obedient lives.

We are not guaranteed moving out on faith will be without challenges, will we? But we know “the nearness of God is our good.” Think about the possibility you have a snowsuit (of sorts) you can hang on a hook because you will never need it again!

Brenda’s Blog – January 16, 2018

“Those fans are so loud I can’t hear myself think…”

I walked in after ten days on the road and thousands of miles added to my odometer to find water spewing from my sink. Yes, a tower of water – and not a lovely HGTV water feature.

The floors were flooded, the rugs were soaked, and life changed drastically.

ServPro came in with 41 fans and 3 dehumidifiers. It sounded like an airplane hanger or a manufacturing plant. Normal conversation was impossible and the sound was unceasing. At one point I said to myself, “Those fans are so loud I can’t hear myself think…”

Then I wondered… what else makes so much noise that serious thought is impossible? How about the rantings of political figures, the cries of cause-oriented activists, or the complaints of those who argue about the fairness of life? Those are obvious, aren’t they? But wait – maybe there are other noises that are more subtle.

The sounds of self-centeredness, the cacophony of critical thoughts, the warblings of worry… all shut out the freshness of the Spirit. When the voice I hear most often is “me, not Thee,” I have reached a tipping point.
He tells us to “Be still, and know that I am God.” Yes, turn off the TV, the music, the Sirius radio, and other distractions. Listen for the holy quietness.

I have friends who live alone and want very little silence. They turn on TVs in every room making sure they never have to face their own thoughts. But the comfort of “His thoughts are not our thoughts” gives us freedom to hear from Him – even when it isn’t audible. Our Spirits are disabled by the constant noise, aren’t they? Peace and quiet is what my Mom used to ask for when we were most rambunctious. That is what our great God wants for us, as well.

The fans will probably leave today. Hallelujah! Hopefully, I will focus on His words through His Word. And the thoughts which fill my mind will be pleasing to Him.