Counting The Cost

Brenda’s Blog – August 28, 2018

“What could go wrong?”

Counting Cars features Count’s Kustom hot rods and choppers. It is one of my favorite History Channel shows. On one episode several of the employees worked to sell Danny, the owner, on the purchase of new equipment. They sold hard, giving enthusiastic reasons why this made total sense. They went on and on while Danny listened. Finally, they stopped and he said, “What could go wrong?”

The conversation stopped and they started thinking about the question. The quality of the question intrigued me.

My son, Jeff Horch, told me one time, “Mom, you love ideas. When you are with people who are enthusiastically throwing ideas around, you get all caught up. Why don’t you ask, ‘Who is going to champion this idea and manage it?’ If they don’t take it on, leaving it to you, then thank them and move on.” Jeff knew when I took on too much, things can go terribly wrong.

Many times it is easy to get captured by the sparkling benefits of something new. It grabs our attention, starts our mind racing, and engages our emotions. Before we make bad decisions, wouldn’t it be good to stop and assess, “What could go wrong?” When we fall in love with a new outfit, car, or even a house, creating a neutral space for our thinking is critical.

Frequently businessmen came to visit Dad, asking his counsel about taking a second generation into the company. After Dad listened to all the positives about carrying on the family tradition, Dad would ask one question: “How are you going to tell your wife you are firing her beloved son?” What he was saying: “If things don’t go well and you have to separate the son from the business you aren’t removing an employee, you are firing your wife’s son.” Suddenly, the emphasis is more on family than on business. Dad’s bottom line was always, “Never hire a relative until you have figured out how you are going to fire them.” Not that the owner would have to, but he has to understand and prepare beforehand for the “what could go wrong.”

Successful decision making considers all elements of the outcomes.

Gotcha Covered

Brenda’s Blog – August 14, 2018

“Don’t worry, I will take care of you.”

My friend Sharon is a horsewoman of exceptional skill and passion. As she spoke lovingly of her experiences she told of an event with challenging jumps. She approached a particularly difficult one, feeling her anxiety rising.

As if reading her mind (and body language), her beloved horse seemed to exude confidence and unspoken assurance. She said she could feel the message, “It’s alright, I have this – just relax.” At that moment they sailed over the fence with strength.

As she spoke I thought about the relationship we have with God through Jesus. We are told in scripture He “never leaves us or forsakes us.” Our confidence is in our triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We are joined together in communion and can relax no matter how daunting the jump, nor frightening the task.

When our spiritual body language shows we are losing focus and beginning to struggle, we can hear the words “Be bold and of good courage.” God has it!
A friend reminded me this morning of the words, “In this world you will have trouble (tribulation).” The rest of that verse tells us He has overcome and is in control. When we are in sync with Him, we can see Him work His will even as we face the most troubling times.

Sharon’s communication with her horse and her subsequent peace about the most urgent demands remind us we can trust our hopes, our dreams, our very lives to the One who loves us. Life gets messy and uncertainty often rules, but we don’t have to see the fence – we can see the One who takes us over. And as we sail we can do a great big “Yay, God – you had it all the time!”

Seeing in the Dark

Brenda’s Blog – July 31, 2018

“Who turned off the lights?”

My friend the urbanite moved to the Piney Woods of East Texas. With little orientation, she stepped out on to her porch the first night. IT IS DARK IN EAST TEXAS! She said her immediate response was, “Who turned out the lights?” No neon, no digital billboards, not even flashing stop lights – just stars. What? Just stars and many, many of them… more than she had ever seen in her life. She had no idea what the heavens held.

No, she didn’t immediately fall in love with the woods. No, she didn’t jettison her yearning for city life. But she did begin appreciating what you can see when the lights are turned off.

My next door neighbor moved from the Dallas metroplex to our woods. She, like my other friend, had never lived outside miles of artificial lighting. She also did not know the frequency of power outages in our rural area. The first big storm taught her a valuable lesson. During the night she headed to the bathroom, flipped on the light, but saw nothing. She made her way to the sink and tried to look in the mirror – but saw nothing. She was in total darkness.

“Dick, Dick, I have gone blind.” Her bleary husband woke up to her frantic cries. He got up with the flashlight, tried other lights and diagnosed the situation: power outage. Once he calmed her down, convinced her she was indeed among the sighted, and overcame her “we are moving back to where the power doesn’t go out!” she learned to love the dark nights.

Each of us has times when we feel like the lights were turned out on a dream, or a goal. Maybe we need to stop and appreciate the stars in the new situation. Perhaps we need someone to shine a flashlight and show us it may not be what we originally assumed.

The Real Thing

Brenda’s Blog – July 17, 2018

“His gun is only one step above ‘yard ornament.’”

Grandson Colby and I thoroughly enjoy our Civil War reenactment hobby. We share the experience of manning a gun (cannon), listening to the other reenactors tell family history about relatives who fought in the war, learn to appreciate a wide variety of personal styles, and then just laugh at some of the funny conversation.

Owners of guns are very aware of their place in the hierarchy. There are guns – and then there are GUNS! The pecking order is well established and respect is shown throughout the battery. A newcomer made a lot of noise, asking for concessions, borrowing powder, complaining about the food, and generally irritating everyone.

He quickly made himself known to all. He made a strategic error when addressing his complaints loudly to the General. Big Mistake! His physical size dwarfed the commanding officer, but he walked away chopped away at the knees. Never dress down a reenactor with a $600 uniform and sword. In everyday life, I have no idea what our C.O. does, but on the field HE IS THE BOSS!

Sitting around watching, my grandson and I laughed as another gun owner summed it up: “He thinks he is so important, but his gun is only one step above ‘yard ornament.’”

Have you ever known someone whose inflated self-assessment made them a laughing stock? What happens when ego disguises clear lack? It is a valuable lesson to learn: a realistic understanding of ourselves is healthy. The Bible says for us to not think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. Apt words… in civilian life or in the reenactment camp. It doesn’t say not to think of ourselves, but just to keep it in perspective. We want to be the real thing.

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Bucket List

Brenda’s Blog – July 3,2018

“Do you know anything about making cookies?”

The good looking young man asked me this question in the baking aisle of the grocery. “I know a little, what do you need?”

“Would you look and see if I have everything I need to make chocolate chip cookies?” We cross-referenced the faithful chocolate chip recipe on the back of the Nestle’s package finding two or three items which were missing from his cart.

“Is this a special occasion?”

“I am turning 20 in three days and I made out a bucket list of things I wanted to do before I was 20. The last thing is “bake chocolate chip cookies. So I want to get this done.”

My age group talks frequently about bucket lists, but in the true sense of things we want to do before “we kick the bucket.” The purposefulness in this young man’s face clearly indicated a man who plans well. I imagine the next 20 will see outstanding items on the “before I turn 40” list.

Tomorrow a high school friend is buried. The last time I had a serious conversation we talked about bucket lists. “The only thing I want to do is spend time with my family creating memories. I have done all the travel, bought all the ‘stuff,’ treated myself, and crossed off all the status items. Now whatever years I have left are going to dedicated to meaningful experiences with my children.” Those words went deep into my heart and mind. Her cancer reoccurred and her years were indeed spent making rich memories with family. We will celebrate her life, her choices, and her determination to leave a legacy, not just accumulations.

How can we encourage those around us, young and not-so-young, to make the days count? How can we make sure our bucket lists are about relationship and not just “stuff?”

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OTR Lessons

Brenda’s Blog – June 19, 2018

“Physics always wins”

My friend Steve is a professional trucker. I bragged to him I make a point of driving courteously around trucks. “I never pull in front of them on a down-hill grade.” His automatic response was “that’s good because physics always win.” He was telling me that thousands of pounds moving downhill cannot be stopped on a dime because a foolish auto driver decides to pass and pull back in quickly.

Laws of nature apply to all areas of life. There are consequences to our choices. Assuming we can beat the odds is short term thinking. “What you sow, you will reap” is a way of putting it. If we jump out of a plane without a parachute, we will crash… physics wins. Gravity is always the victor.

Another lesson is resistance. Most 18 wheelers have a cab with a wind reduction configuration. The rounded appendage allows the wind to go up and over, decreasing resistance and increasing performance. We need to have strategies to overcome emotional resistance in our lives. What can we do to defeat depression, loss of direction? How can we come back from bad decisions, or moral failures? We need winds of turmoil resistance structures in our lives. We need to build in scripture, Christian friends, good books, and music among other elements which will build up our resistance. We need to establish go-to habits which will cause the attacks of the spiritual winds to pass on over and not cause drag.

Most trucks have lettered signs like 1: “If you can’t see my mirror, I can’t see you.” 2) “This truck makes wide right turns.” These informational warnings help you avoid trouble. They also let you know the driver is aware of his truck. When we really know ourselves we can help others do well around us. Each of us has constructive strengths and destructive weaknesses. When we discover these, we can enable others to “drive safely” on the road with us.

I grumble at them as they rumble by me on the interstates, but I also pray for them for I know they are people working hard to support their families. I laugh when I hear their shower number called for a shower in a Pilot station, but also cheer for them to safely deliver goods across the country. They teach me about perseverance, professionalism, and grit. I will try to give them a wide berth and be a courteous driver as I share the road with them.

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Safe Harbor

Brenda’s Blog – June 5, 2018

“This shows I am a safe place for anyone who needs one.

The foundation executive prepared to address the scholarly group. My associate and I were early to the event and spoke briefly to the speaker. I noticed a large safety pin in his lapel. Not being fully versed on current insignia I asked what it was and why he wore it.

“This lets people know they can trust me and I will provide safety for them in public places.” His answer actually stopped me for a moment. Then I asked, “Where have been identified as safe and what can you do?

“In areas where progressive thought is considered dangerous, I can how them I am a supporter.”

Walking away I was a bit bemused and confused by the need to wear a diaper pin on my jacket denoting my willingness to protect.

Then I started thinking about trust. One of my favorite statements was on the desk of a businessman I knew: “You can trust me to be who I say I will be; you can trust me to do what I say I will do.” At the time I was in sales and this affirmation held great meaning.

What tells others we are safe? What tells others we can be trusted? What does our life represent that speaks of integrity, honesty, and good character?

Our ministry is with college students. Most attend our events initially thinking it will be a waste of their free time. Afterwards we repeatedly hear, “I am so glad I came. I learned so much and I connected with people who want to stretch and bless us.”

Years ago Christians adopted the Ichthus (fish) symbol to communicate “we belong to Jesus.” When others would see the sign they were eager to establish contact and community. Even without the fish, we should live in such a way others see our character and feel safe. Put the pin down and pick up a life befitting honor and trust.

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Through It All

Brenda’s Blog – May 22, 2018

Dad loved Andrea Crouch’s song “Through It All.”

Before the Fred-in-the-Bed group left each Saturday morning, Dad asked them to sing the chorus. We gathered around the piano singing loudly so he could hear from his bed. In his last hours I sat in the hospital room reading to him.

When we finished our daily passage he said quietly, “I’ve learned to trust in Jesus; I’ve learned to trust in God.” He soon lapsed into unconsciousness and those became his last words. Trust in God is more than a devotional subject. It is a declaration of victory at life’s end.

Maturity is not avoiding the rough seas, but knowing we can make it through by trusting God. Perseverance is not gritting our teeth, but seeing the source of strength and attaching ourselves to the Rock in the storm.

Father God, may our final breaths be used to express hope and acclamation. And as we live may our trust continue to grow ever stronger. How we love you and how we worship you as the one worthy of all trust.

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In the Zone

Brenda’s Blog – May 8, 2018

“They have a sweet spot. If you find it, they work just fine.”

My son-in-law fixes Hello, Fresh meals three nights a week at my house while working out of town. I watched him manipulate an old, stubborn pair of scissors to open one of the neatly packaged ingredients. “Don’t you want me to find you another pair that would work better?” “No, I have figured out the sweet spot.”

As he cut across the bag, I thought about his words. Aren’t we like that? Don’t we have people in our lives who seem to be difficult, rusty, and hard to manage? Strangely enough, others seem to have a gift of working with them without tension and resistance. What is the secret? Finding the sweet spot… we all have them.

Gary Chapman wrote about Love Languages decades ago. His premise: each of us has a distinct way of receiving love. He believed most strife in relationships came from the inadequacy of recognizing and operating in the other’s love language. One is “Words of Affirmation.” Another is “Gifts.” And “Acts of Service” makes the list, too. One of our biggest difficulties is discovering the other’s language and not trying to use our own language as a “one size fits all.”

A dear friend definitely values time spent and words of affirmation. Her husband is clearly a gifts and acts of service kinda guy. He spends their weekends washing the car, buying her flowers, and generally believing himself to be extravagantly loving his wife. She longs for time over a cup of coffee, talking, and receiving reassurance of her value. She constantly tries to engage him in “meaningful conversation,” to his frustration. Both head their separate ways on Monday wondering how they missed so badly.

Finding our own sweet spot is key, as well. There are times when I feel like that old pair of scissors, trying so very hard to perform a task, but doing it badly or failing entirely. Oh, but when I am doing something in my giftedness, those blades just whiz through making clean, sharp cuts.

Looking for the sweet spot in others makes life work. Finding my own sweet spot gives my work life.

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Child’s Faith

Brenda’s Blog – April 24, 2018

“God is not a meanie.”

Phoebe Fair was four years old with cancer which soon took her precious young life. Her faith was mature and pure. Her trust in God ministered to all who knew her. But even more than that, her faith stretched world-wide as the story spread. As a member of the Zig Ziglar family, Phoebe’s platform for her witness went “to the uttermost parts of the earth.”

Even more significant than her reach was the profound knowledge of the Most High. He wasn’t a far away, impersonal force. He was her very special Abba… Father. And her relationship showed everyone around her the reality which takes a lifetime to achieve. In her short life, she walked and talked with God… and taught us all what that could be. She knew Jesus loved her – and she loved Him back.

What would you say about who God is? Would multi-syllabic theological terms be your go to? Would question marks fill your mind?

Theology is the study of the nature and character of God. Phoebe was a theologian of the highest order. My brother asked my Dad at the end of his life, “If you only had one more talk to give, what would be your topic? “ Dad answered, “The nature of God and the nature of man.” Dad taught us a correct understanding of each allowed life to make sense.

There are times when we doubt the goodness of God. We question His processes and wonder about the outcomes which we see (or more often don’t see). When those gray days come perhaps we can reflect on sweet little Phoebe who is enjoying the eternal presence of the God she loved and trusted and say, “God is not a meanie.” He is a working God who has it all under control and shows us His love through Christ Jesus. We can pray for child-like to love Him completely.

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Brenda A. Smith shares a TV Interview about LeTourneau-BWFLI event
Fred Smith Sr. shares a lifetime of Encouragement at Centennial Celebration
Mark Modesti TED Talk – The Argument for Trouble
Student Impact at Emmaus Bible College
BWFLI Impacts Lindsey Wilson College

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