Brenda’s Blog – May 8, 2018
“They have a sweet spot. If you find it, they work just fine.”
My son-in-law fixes Hello, Fresh meals three nights a week at my house while working out of town. I watched him manipulate an old, stubborn pair of scissors to open one of the neatly packaged ingredients. “Don’t you want me to find you another pair that would work better?” “No, I have figured out the sweet spot.”
As he cut across the bag, I thought about his words. Aren’t we like that? Don’t we have people in our lives who seem to be difficult, rusty, and hard to manage? Strangely enough, others seem to have a gift of working with them without tension and resistance. What is the secret? Finding the sweet spot… we all have them.
Gary Chapman wrote about Love Languages decades ago. His premise: each of us has a distinct way of receiving love. He believed most strife in relationships came from the inadequacy of recognizing and operating in the other’s love language. One is “Words of Affirmation.” Another is “Gifts.” And “Acts of Service” makes the list, too. One of our biggest difficulties is discovering the other’s language and not trying to use our own language as a “one size fits all.”
A dear friend definitely values time spent and words of affirmation. Her husband is clearly a gifts and acts of service kinda guy. He spends their weekends washing the car, buying her flowers, and generally believing himself to be extravagantly loving his wife. She longs for time over a cup of coffee, talking, and receiving reassurance of her value. She constantly tries to engage him in “meaningful conversation,” to his frustration. Both head their separate ways on Monday wondering how they missed so badly.
Finding our own sweet spot is key, as well. There are times when I feel like that old pair of scissors, trying so very hard to perform a task, but doing it badly or failing entirely. Oh, but when I am doing something in my giftedness, those blades just whiz through making clean, sharp cuts.
Looking for the sweet spot in others makes life work. Finding my own sweet spot gives my work life.