Brenda’s Blog – December 3, 2024

“There are some trees that grow well and then develop eccentricities at the height of their growth. There are some people who do the same.” Sir Arthur Conan Doyle through the character of Sherlock Holmes.

I live in the Piney Woods of East Texas. Giant pine trees, often 50-75 feet tall look healthy and robust. Too often storms take one down and we are surprised to see the vibrant tree is nearly devoid of a central core. The only evidence of life is external. At some point in the development it stopped properly maturing.

I was in a Sunday School class taught by former President of Dallas Theological Seminary Dr. Donald Campbell. In teaching through 1 and 2 Kings he described one of the ancient monarchs who ruined his last years through sinful behavior. Dr. Campbell commented, “This king lived too long.” Isn’t that a pitiful commentary?

One of the most popular phrases among Christians is “finishing well.” We desire to use every day well honoring God and bringing glory to Jesus Christ. As we take our last breath we want our families and friends to gather around in gratitude for a life that served the Lord.

Sadly we see too often men and women who appear to grow well, then “develop eccentricities at the height of their growth” in Doyle’s observation he gave to Sherlock. We need to be arborists who watch over our own development, pruning regularly, and understanding the principles of soul care. We want to have others celebrate our home going, not bemoan the fact that we outlived our values and made a junkyard of our old age.

Brenda’s Blog – November 19, 2024

“The 1000 underground missiles were already “at the ready.” They held the power to destroy civilization but were meant as a deterrent to preserve peace.”

The brochure put into a few words the heartbeat of the Cold War. As a child of the 50s and teenager of the 60’s the threat of nuclear war was a constant. In elementary school we learned to hide under our desks with hands covering our heads if the “A Bombs” ever went off. No one ever bothered to explain the absolute absurdity of this practice. Or, as we went into junior high we practiced protection by huddling together in the hallways by our lockers – a sure defense!

Knowing that numberless missiles still resided beneath our feet at the Minuteman Missile facility “gave one pause.” I am not sure the safety they promised hadn’t passed its “use by” date.

Of course, then I had to think about the spiritual analogies and illustrations… You know me!

What missiles are hidden within my mind planted to protect me from hurt? What sharp retorts are able to shatter another who threatens to hurt? Even where are the school desks where I hide from rejection and attack? And of course, how often do I cover my head and duck when life gets tense?

Just as the missiles seem outmoded, so do my own personal defense systems. Our country declares us safer when we can show “peace through strength.” I often fool myself into thinking that the walls I build between myself and others shows strength, when it only shows immaturity and immunity from growth.

I guess the missiles will stay in the ground on the plains of South Dakota awaiting the buzzer which sends them on a programmed mission of destruction. Hopefully, I will excavate mine and enjoy a walk without dreading the emotional explosion.

Brenda’s Blog – November 5, 2024

“These four Presidents represent four major themes in American life” – National Park Service

In the Black Hills of South Dakota an astounding sculpture rises from Mount Rushmore. For nearly 25 years a sculptor worked with a team of specialists, applied technology, and tried to avoid political storms to leave us the largest carving of its type in the United States.

He chose four Presidents: Washington, whose military leadership gave the colonies victory and was the father of the country; Jefferson for his vision in writing the Declaration of Independence and negotiating the Louisiana thus growing this country; Theodore Roosevelt as a Rough Rider, “Trust Buster,” and advocate for environmental health and responsible for the development of the country; finally, Abraham Lincoln for his term of office which focused on the preservation of the United States.

Founding, growing, developing, and preserving – these are the four representations on Mount Rushmore.

As I quietly stood on a clear blue September morning I was moved by the majesty of the mountain. The reality of its significance kept me absolutely still.

Then I began thinking: “What would represent the key eras in my life? What would be the monumental moments during my 80 years? Who would be carved into the mountain of my life?

My Dad determined 8 characteristics he wanted in his life, and identified eight men who reflected a specific virtue. He then wrote them, asking for an 8×10 “head shot.” He framed them all, hung them on his office wall. At the top of the portraits he hung a portrait of Jesus, and a mirror on the bottom.

I look back through the years recognizing teachers, women church mentors, business associates, and loving friends who have spoken into my life at crucial turning points. And of course, at the top of the list would be Mom and Dad, my siblings, and my children.

How about stopping for a cup of coffee (or in my case, tea) and picking up your imaginary sculptor’s tools to carve out your own Mount of Remembrance?

Brenda’s Blog – October 22, 2024

Before traveling for over four thousand miles in the next month I went to my local auto shop to make sure my faithful “Red Ryder” GMC Terrain is all set. I carried enough work to make me productive during the wait. I also showed up to be in line for number one in their “first come, first served” system. Before the door opened for business my smiling face was at their front door. I knew there would be a wait, so I prepared. Sadly, I left my mid-morning snack in the car, so my stomach growled a bit!

Over an hour after opening, an older lady came flying through the door, running straight up to the service counter. “I called and you said if I got here early I could get my oil changed right away.” “Yes, but there are several ahead of you, so if you will sit down and wait we will get right to you.” But I need my oil changed right away – and this IS early for me!” Everyone in the waiting room did a synchronized eye roll.

It made me think of the phrase “high maintenance.” My car was receiving personal attention making sure all its “bodily fluids” were full before I hit the road. It didn’t demand attention — the horn didn’t honk, nor do the windows fly up and down.
On the other hand, when people are high maintenance they interfere with the natural order of things. They consider themselves first priority. They honk and honk!

She marched around the waiting room complaining about the way she was treated. “I can go to Walmart and get waited on right away – I can go to Big Sandy and get the oil changed in 10 minutes.” Her song had verse after verse, but the chorus was always the same “I am special; I am worthy of being put at the front of the line.”

She told everyone her life story, emphasizing what her life had been… yes, had been. She talked of being married, driving a Mercedes, living in a big house, owning a plane, and wearing fine clothes. Then she said “I don’t need any of that. My kids live in California, have lots of money, and have happy lives so I am just fine in my trailer and vehicle.” The service manager told her two of her tires were bald, and there were several other needed repairs. She totally ignored him, and walked out to her 17 year old SUV.

Sometimes high maintenance is a cry for help. Sometimes we need to step behind the demands and see the need. Our Father God calls us to see Him in everyone we meet showing the love of Jesus.

Brenda’s Blog – October 8, 2024

Jeb Stuart, officer in the Confederate Army, signed his correspondence to General Robert E. Lee “Yours To Count On.” During one of my Dad’s serious hospitalizations my niece Catherine came to visit and taped a sign to the wall with these four letters: YTCO. Dad understood immediately what she was saying: “We are with you Grandfather; we are standing by and praying; we love you.”

The comfort, confidence, and faithfulness of another is a rare privilege. “I’ve got your back” is an idiomatic way of rephrasing Stuart’s heartfelt sentiment. But so often the things in which we put our trust prove themselves to be lacking. We trust jobs, people, ban accounts and even our own abilities. So often they falter and we fall.

Perhaps we have placed our ladder against the wrong wall, as the old adage goes. Perhaps our faith is in a rock that crumbles instead of the Rock that conquers. In what are you placing your faith today? In what are you depending? As Dr. Phil says, “How’s it working for you?”

In my book Divine Confinement I wrote that the foundation of any faith walk is dependence on God. I believe that, but I struggle daily to work it out in my life. Depending on false gods squeezes down the space in my heart for the one true God. But I dearly want to depend on Him. Where is your struggle? What is forcing Him out of total and true reign?

Steadfastness is a biblical virtue but unswerving allegiance to anything other than the Son of God is idolatry. Jeb Stuart’s oath of fealty is the best that one human can offer another, but it falls far short of truly counting on Jesus. When we depend on the world to steady our boat we will be disappointed. When we attach our lifeline to Jesus we have the life He promised.

Brenda’s Blog – September 24, 2024

Have you been fighting hard to stay in control? Have you been grabbing at all of life’s handholds like career, family, image, apparent spirituality, legalistic discipline hoping that nobody will notice you as you catapult nearly head over heels into the slimy pit?

Stop right now. Don’t read another word. Cry and wait. He comes to each of us with an invitation for a personal experience with Psalm 40. Write your own paraphrase. Here is what I repeat constantly in these times whether emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, or relationally stuck. “I waited (and waited) for you Lord, as I struggled to free myself from the muck and the mire. I was stuck, but you heard me and turned to me. You reached out, pulled me up, put my feet solidly on a rock and put a new song in my mouth – a song of praise and thanksgiving to you. I will always be grateful to you! You are a great God!”

He will hear you and He will turn to you. Gloriously He will lift you out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. Isn’t that a breathtaking picture? Don’t you think of King Kong’s lifting up Fay Wray, Jessica Lange, or Naomi Watts (depending on your generation)? That picture of His all-powerful hand’s grasping me as I gasp for breath is both powerful and poignant. He showed me that in the “o’erwhelming flood” of the various seasons, He lovingly confined me. But He never left me.

I praised Him and many have come to see, fear, and trust in the Lord as they understand their own confinements are divine. Many experience the release that comes in knowing others, too, are sharing similar confinements. Grace abounds.

I hope you are sharing in this rejoicing. If you are boxed in right now, pause to reflect and capture the essence of the statement: “Yes, I am confined but because it is by the Hand of God, it is Divine Confinement.” And this same Hand of God which confines engages us in the next step: Divine Refinement. I want to talk about that with you in coming months. Wait patiently for Him trusting in His goodness.

Brenda’s Blog – September 10, 2024

“Your piano will never be perfectly tuned – it is too old, has traveled around too much, and has endured too many temperature changes.”

I took the tuner’s assessment very personally! The relationship between my piano and me defies definition. Except for college and a harrowing stint in a 10×48 trailer, my piano has been with me since 1951. Purchased by my parents in my 8th years it enables me to express my love for music, my emotional experiences, and my spiritual gift of encouragement.

Therefore, with great sadness I listened to the tuner’s assessment of my piano’s condition. The international concert pitch of A440 was never again to resound from my road weary Acrosonic. The “high sound” for which this instrument was named would always be slightly out of tune. In Brazil there is a moment each morning when all programming is interrupted so that the A440 frequency is sounded enabling all musicians to tune their instruments. During my high school band days my dear and venerated director William Fenton, would lift his hand signaling the oboe to “sound a concert A.” W then more (and often less) adjusted our instruments to match that vibration. Mr. Fenton walked around the room listening carefully in his strict military stance. We sat with our own backs straight, attempting correct diaphragmatic breathing, and hoping against hope we had matched the tone before his sharp ear leaned into our sound waves.

“I think we could do a series of tunings and get it close to standard.” That meant time and money! But could I offer anything less to this cherished friend? Three tunings later its voice was socially acceptable. Will the Lord offer anything less to us? It may take some serious tunings, but He does not hesitate to bring us to standard. The Bible calls this being conformed to the image of His own dear Son.

After years of God’s refinement I want my heart to be attuned to Him. A miniature tuning fork sitting on my brother’s desk reminds him that his goal is to be in tune with God’s leading in his life. Isn’t that terrific? It should help us recall the refinement process, as well.

Our growth is not relative – we don’t depend on the humanly produced concert A as our lives are adjusted for His usefulness. The heavenly A440 resonates with clarity and purity, setting the standard. But we cannot get there through our own efforts. We are all out of tune until God draws us to Himself through the completed work of Jesus on the cross. When He said, “It is finished,” the tuning fork was perfectly calibrated. A world that warbled badly was now brought into harmony through the perfect and acceptable sacrifice of Jesus.

Joyfully, the Master Tuner strikes the forks in our hearts and then adjusts the string to be in concert with His resonance and vibration. He takes lives that are too well traveled, too greatly influenced by the temperature of the world, too haphazardly moved from place to place, and too often ignored and brings them into harmonic congruence with Himself. And then, like any good tuner, he regularly makes adjustments knowing that our imperfect environment works to loosen the strings and skew the sound.

Brenda’s Blog – August 27, 2024

Mockery and anger… two words which sum up the American cultural atmosphere. “Zeitgeist” is the German term which defines the intellectual, social, emotional, and spiritual tone of a culture. I love words and especially this one. It is fun to say for it tickles the tongue. It also measures a culture whose ears are tickled by false teaching, self-worship, and chaos.

The Bible tells us “Mockers can get a whole town agitated, but the wise will calm anger.” We need men and women who will speak the truth in love, not incite with clever speech. It is time for all of us who follow Jesus to repent, putting away our childish behavior to glorify the Lord God Almighty. “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, my rock and my redeemer.”

Brenda’s Blog – August 13, 2024

“The car is in the house! The car is in the house!”

My office phone rang. As I answered I heard my Dad saying, “Your Mother says her car is in the house. You are closer to her than I am, so would you go now and I will meet you there?” How could I possibly know what “the car is in the house” meant.

When I walked into the house I realized she was right – her car passed through the garage wall, crashing into the built in china cabinet on the other side. The breakfast room table stopped the forward motion just shy of a kitchen wall holding the sink. Mom climbed through the passenger window onto the table, lifted herself down and immediately called Dad repeating over and over “Fred! Fred! The car is in the house! The car is in the house!”

Dad collected the shards of china, porcelain, and crystal formerly stored on the glass shelves of the cabinet, gathering them into three bags. As he handed one to each adult child he declared, “Here is your inheritance.”

Mom’s days of driving and independence ceased on that day. To the end of her life she maintained the car failed, propelling it through the garage wall. We all knew her foot hit the accelerator instead of the brake as she entered from one of her favorite afternoon outings to NorthPark Center. That one mistake eliminated her freedom, and the option to go because her “wheels” (and her keys) were no longer available.

That table sits in my home decades later after being refurnished by a loving son in law as a house warming gift for me.

We may never drive our car into the house, but undoubtedly many of us will experience life altering events which change us. There will be times when the difficult times make me want to cry “the car is in the house!” And when I do I know the very same God who watched over my Mom is with me. How grateful I am for a God who cares on the good days – and especially on those terrible, awful ones.

Brenda’s Blog – July 30, 2024

“Every time I back up, my stomach knots up and I wait for the crunch.”

My friend and I were talking about past experiences which continued to have an emotional hold. She told of backing out of a parking space in a neighborhood mall and nearly being struck by a passing car. Even though no impact occurred the experience still marks her emotional memory.

I shared that I understood because I, too, had a very similar experience driving in one of the many residential alleys in Dallas. It only takes one of those episodes to create a permanent reflex.

“Each time I back up in a busy parking lot, I unconsciously wait for the impact.” It has never repeated, but the instinct remains.

We then expanded the experience to a broader application… Life. Once we have been seriously hurt it affects the way we respond, doesn’t it? Relationships have built-in crunches which always live in our emotional background. Career setbacks make us sensitive to risk-taking. Abused children flinch when a sudden move reminds them of being hit. So many triggers!

We need to undergo the “renewing of our minds” learning to engage in life without holding back while waiting for the crunch. Diligence and wisdom are the new foundations. We can retrain our minds and reframe our emotional reactions to choose healthy caution but denying fear and shrinking back.

May we release the power past crunches have over us redesigning a way of thinking which allows us freedom and joy. We are told in 2 Timothy 1:7 “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Let’s take a deep breath and rejoice.