Brenda’s Blog – May 2, 2023

“Such a shame to see the loss. The bars couldn’t save them.”

In East Texas along highway 80 is a house noticeably marked by destruction. That is not particularly uncommon, but the exterior tells an unusual story.

Every window and the front door are completely covered with wrought iron bars. The immediate impression is a desire for safety. The house’s exterior presents itself as a fortified building, impervious to attack.

But you notice the burned out interior. The danger and damage didn’t come from the outside, but from a fire which began on the inside. The great loss didn’t occur because thieves broke through the iron, but because flames engulfed the inside.

As I looked at the remains the thought slammed into my brain (and heart). We can do everything to protect our children, grandchildren, and ourselves from the “threats of the world,” but often the deterioration begins from the inside. We too often point to others as the source of the family’s breakdown without acknowledging our own values we have adopted and brought home. The child who feels lonely because his parents are connected to their devices wrote a school paper saying he wished he could be a smart phone because then his parents would hold him, pay attention to him, and think he was important. How much damage do we do when our values are skewed?

And what about the attitude which rails against the wickedness of the world without giving our children a sense of God’s goodness, richness, and purpose for their lives? Failing to teach and live trust in a sovereign God lights little flames which grow into bonfires of disregard for things of the Lord. When a true God isn’t taught and worshipped no amount of “religious talk” will suffice.

The threat may be “out there,” but the protection we seek starts at home. Don’t put bars on the windows thinking you can shut the world out ; the interior must be fully armed by a living, vital faith in God as seen in Jesus Christ.

Brenda’s Blog – April 18, 2023

“Someday I am going to play soccer for France in the World Cup and I want to be ready.”

French soccer player Kylian Mbappe was the first child in his class to learn the French National Anthem when questioned by his astonished teacher he answered, “I am going to play soccer for France in the World Cup and I want to be ready.” He did and he was!

Years ago my children went to a church camp directed by an energetic couple and an enthusiastic staff. Before breakfast all the children lined up on the tennis court for “jerks.” The Canadian name for exercises. The camp designed and named them with spiritual content.

The one I most remember is “rapture practice.” The children would stretch their arms and jump as high as they could. Assuredly, the theology was terrible, but the phrase caught on. Forty years later we can still laugh about it.

But the readiness and eagerness of a young Mbappe is an inspiration now isn’t it? Stop a minute and think about how you prepare: for school, marriage, career, parenthood, grandparenthood, and then the end of life experiences. Of course, there are the unexpected for which we haven’t readily prepared like divorce, death of family members, or health problems.

Then thinking back on the children reaching for the sky and jumping a few inches off the ground, we can consider how we prepare for heaven. One of the clearest activities in scripture for eternity is singing. Are you learning the songs of heaven? Are you practicing to praise the lamb? Are you singing God’s anthems now to be ready?

Revelation 4 and 5 give us texts which forever will be proclaimed: “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come!” And “Worthy are you, our Lord and God to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” Then the magnificent laudatory lines: “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!”

Are you going to surround the throne of God raising your voice? If so, practice. If not, look to scripture, particularly the book of John, to see who this Lamb is. He is who came, died, was buried, and rose again to pay the penalty for our sins. Hallelujah!

Brenda’s Blog – April 4, 2023

“Don’t sign me up for the ‘usta club’ – I am still doing.”

In Dad’s last year he noticed his retired high achieving friends with a common pattern: spending time replaying their success – whether high school Friday night victories, corporate ladder climbing, or community recognition. He recognized a familiar phrase… ”I used to do this; I used to do that.” The “this” and “that” varied, but the exercise remained the same. He began calling it the “usta club.”

One of Dad’s life principles was “make longer term plans for when you make shorter ones you are giving yourself permission to die.” At 80 he and Mom recarpeted and made sure it came with a 20 year warranty.

The phrase “God is on the move!” is heard from ministry leaders, Asbury University students, and even the media. Those who believe in a deity who may have created, but then sat down to relax miss one of the most wonderful elements of orthodoxy – the everyday, intimate relationship of God with us. Scripture tells us He is “yesterday, today, and forever.” He truly is always on the move.

What that tells me is that I miss out by driving with my eyes firmly affixed to the rear view mirror. He has ways for me to be on the move, as well. Until our death He puts us in drive. Yes, we are to remember the past – to cancel it is foolish and sad. But the work assignments God created for us are up to date and active… so we should be current.

Our stories are important, but they should emphasize the greatness, the kindness, the sovereignty, and the protection of our God. As we look back we can retire our “Usta Club” t-shirt. Each day we have something new, something meaningful, and something to be excited about – Yay!

Brenda’s Blog – March 21, 2023

“I want to bless you. There is one caveat: you cannot spend this. You may keep it as a reminder of how He blesses, or you may give it away to another to bless them.”

A woman sat down next to me at the leadership meeting. Immediately we clicked. Her warmth, enthusiasm, and obvious leadership experience told me this was going to be a good day. When lunchtime came we found seats by ourselves as the remainder of the group filled up the nearby tables. We began discussing the morning’s speakers, our takeaways, and then our stories.

She spoke of nearly 70 years of career accomplishments, family highlights, and a strong emphasis on her faith. After that she began telling me about the impact of scripture on her, particularly the wisdom books. She continued to talk about the vision for empowering others through the words of scripture. The details about open doors, ah-h moments, and the sense of God’s tailwind carried us through Texas barbecue and way into the afternoon program. The lunch tables filled, and emptied as we sat there.

We finally headed for the parking lot nearly two hours later. She stopped me and said, “You have blessed me by listening. You allowed me to talk through some of the cloudy places in my dream. I want to bless you.” She opened her purse and pulled out a stack of crisp, new bills. Feeling very embarrassed I protested. Then she handed me a brand new $2.00 bill.

“I keep these with me all the time. When I am blessed by the Lord through someone I give them one. It isn’t a tip, it is my way of saying, ‘thank you for being used by God to bless me.”

Her admonition followed about the way to use it. I will keep that $2.00 bill as a sweet reminder of the precious time on a day when nothing like that was expected. And even more, it will prompt me to thank others for blessing me.

That bill touched a deep place in my heart. When I was young my widowed paternal Grandmother with very few financial resources would send each of her numerous grandchildren a birthday card with a $2.00 bill enclosed. As a child I thought little of it – I discounted the value of such a small amount. But as I grew older I knew it was treasure because it was the “widow’s mite” indeed. She blessed me.

Brenda’s Blog – March 7, 2023

“The difference is that they respect us.”

You would probably guess a long while but before identifying the source of that comment. It was a State Jail speaking of the guards. The incarcerated young man had much experience with correction institutions.

Currently serving in a private, corporately owned facility the remark came when asked to give advice for new guards. “Too many of them lean on their power, their toughness, and their spitefulness. They can be effective without dehumanizing and demeaning. The difference in this place is that the guards treat us like human beings, not animals. I guess, the bottom line would be… they respect us.”

Aretha Franklin famously made respect a part of the American vernacular, spelling it out letter by letter.

Theologians tell us we are created in the image of God. We are not a random gathering of molecules, but a purposeful creation worthy of dignity and respect. It isn’t always easy to see this in everyone, but when we do we can change lives.

Have you ever eaten in a restaurant and not even looked into the face of the server? In needing something we are asked, “Who is your server?” Not able to answer that we fail the second question, “What do they look like?” Practicing respect can begin in the smallest encounters.

You surely have been in a line of frustrated travelers waiting for news on a cancelled or delayed flight, right? Is it a peaceful, respectful place? Absolutely not! The airline employee with no ability whatsoever to change the circumstances bears the brunt of angry, often abusive customers. What a difference you could make in that person’s day (week, month, year…) if your response is respect, civility. Controlling our attitude under stress is an early step in expressing respect.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T is the recognition of another’s value and acting on it.

Brenda’s Blog – February 21, 2023

During a major life transition I joined a fine insurance company, led by an outstanding General Agent. He gave me tremendous opportunities for training, back room resources, and advanced studies. I tested well and built relationships with a high trust quotient. On paper I looked like a good fit as an insurance professional.

HOWEVER, as much as I loved meeting the potential clients, listening to their goals, and working for creative solutions, asking for money to create a contract was almost impossible for me. The problem with that was simple: insurance sales is a commission only business. Without selling policies all my other skills were of little value.

On the way to see a professional woman to talk about a non-qualified retirement plan using life insurance I felt the heaviness of being a single Mom, struggling to pay bills and rebuilt a life blown apart by divorce. I truly wanted to hide. The light turned red and I stopped, breathing deeply. I looked around and a house on a corner lot was for sale. The realtor’s picture and name was emblazoned across the marketing sign. BRENDA GOFORTH was her name. Yes, that truly was her name.

The tension broke, I laughed out loud, thanked the Lord, and went forth to the appointment.

A few years later I found my niche – management. I studied and received two professional designations, moved to the home office of my company, and served as an officer and regional director.

But thinking of sitting at that red light continues to encourage me. God uses even realtor’s for sale signs to keep us going. Are you discouraged, afraid, uncertain? God is there and speaking into your life. He wants us to walk in hope, looking for ways to bring blessing. He knows when the days are dark and he can reach into our world to give strength. Each of us can trust Him to tell us to “goforth!”

Brenda’s Blog – February 7, 2023

“Words change their meaning over a period of time – some become more gentler; others more crude.”

We talk about cultural shifts, tectonic shifts, and attitude shifts meaning the move from one position to another. Etymologists point to word origin, usage, and transitions over historical periods. In 2021 the editors of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary added 455 words including “flutter-nutter” which is a sandwich of peanut butter and marshmallow spread on bread. Another common example is “Amirite”- the derivative of Am I Right? And of course the universally used “YEET” which means to hurl or throw.

Growing up my Dad loved thinking he was “with it” by adopting what he thought was the teenage vernacular. However, when he landed on a phrase he wore it out, using it years after it was dead and buried. His favorite was “ooky gooky.” I was with my daughter and another friend the other day. They started talking about their teenagers by exchanging slang words (none of which I had ever heard!) And the rule of cultural confusion still exists. That is, if you used to say something was “bad “it was good. Or “crazy” meant unusual or surprising, but not insane. Strangely enough, the dictionary states “cool” is considered the most American of all slang words. It began in the 1930s to comment on fashion. It comes and goes, but manages to resurface – it is the phoenix of phonetics.

A good friend has an aged, World War 1 era scrapbook which belonged to his grandmother. The bold words on the cover say “Men Who Made Love To Me.” Understandably I was shocked (and then amused) as I turned the pages. It was page after page of letters from men she wrote while they were in foreign countries as servicemen. She lived in a small, Texas town where the troop trains stopped on their way to the coast. She greeted them, gave them snacks, and promised to write. For the entire duration she wrote dozens (perhaps hundreds) of servicemen… many of whom fell in love with this young West Texas lovely who faithfully wrote. The letters were a living history of the war, of their homesickness, and their desire to be back with family. In the finest sense of the word they did speak love to her… and she to them.

The Greeks had five separate words for “love” because one was inadequate for description. Christian love became known as agape denoting service, sacrifice, and the sacred. Western linguistics lumps everything from the erotic to the adoration for God into one word. Interestingly, our language does morph – the semantic shift does occur, but all cultures maintain a way of communicating the connection between people. One of the oldest of all words in human language is Mother which is considered to be 15,000 years old. The more our verbal expression changes, the more we seek to speak of fundamental human relationships and emotions.

Brenda’s Blog – January 24, 2023

“Damar Hamlin suffers cardiac arrest on field” scrolled across the bottom of the TV screen.

During the first quarter of the Buffalo Bills and Cincinnati Bengals game the Bengals’ player collapsed.

His heart malfunctioned and fell to the field, unconscious. The ordinarily raucous stadium grew quiet.

Members of both teams gathered in prayer circles on the side of the field, lifting this young player to the Lord. The competition put on hold, the prayer and concern for this young man became critical.

Crowds who had just moments before yelled for the tackle now sought the Lord’s mercy for this player. This was no longer winner/loser but cheering for the recovery of an injured man.

This example of human concern speaks to all of us, doesn’t it? Proper priorities come to the surface in the face of crises. A football game which is crucial to many fades in importance during a life threatening event. We put down our team colors and lift up our hands in prayer.

As we follow Hamlin’s progress, and we pray for his full recovery let’s take away the illustration of these football players from both teams huddled together in prayer. They showed us what ultimately matters – they showed us the source of hope and help. May we never allow ourselves to become so partisan, so competitive, or “our team” focused that we can’t stop, join in prayer, and understand what really matters.

We come together partnering with both teams praying for his full recovery. We are grateful for this moment to stop and carefully consider what is important, asking for the wisdom to focus on the highest and best.

Brenda’s Blog – January 10, 2023

“We missed getting the burritos by 5 minutes! If we had gotten in line 5 minutes earlier they would have been ours.”

I stood in a long line at the local donut shop as all the January 1st donut eaters waited. The drive through line was long; the indoor waiters trailed through the small place to the door. The solo employee patiently alternated between the drive through window and the faces standing right in front of him.

Easy chit chat began. “The person in front of us bought the last five burritos. If we had only been five minutes earlier.” Clearly it wasn’t going to leave this mind quickly. But several bags of sugary, greasy treats seemed to appease him as he and his nephew walked out with a cheery Happy New Year!

It made me think about the “if onlys” in life – good and bad. A missed plane, a cancelled restaurant reservation, a work deadline – these prompt us to wish for those extra five minutes. But think about those many times when you pass an accident on the highway and you thank God you weren’t coming along five minutes earlier! Serendipity displays the marvel of five minutes. Think of the time you run into someone coincidentally because you crossed paths. A joyous meeting occurred because you weren’t there five minutes before.

We value time greatly, don’t we? We frequently say, “just five minutes more – that’s all I need…” How precious are those 300 seconds. On this first day of 2023 we usually take account of the days and months available to us in the year. Perhaps we need to expand our thinking to those small increments of time – those five minute intervals can bring extra verve.

Happy New Year! Make those minutes count and enjoy a twelve months of life full to overflowing.

Brenda’s Blog – December 27, 2022

Three older, single women stood in the local Ace Hardware store depending on the kindness of the sales specialist.

The coming Arctic freeze sent all of us individually to prepare our houses. One lady was buying large bags of rock salt for her driveway “so she can get out if it freezes.” No precipitation is in the forecast, but she will be ready. She was sure days of thick ice were on the way.

The second lady, smiled and said, “I grew up in South Texas. We bought a winter coat and then wore it for 40 years! She was buying faucet covers because all her neighbors told her to do so.

The gentleman patiently guided us, but added, “I knew every faucet cover would be gone by this afternoon, so I bought mine when I came in before work.”

What did I buy? Faucet covers, of course. I am sure there are other preparations I should make, but this is all I can manage.
As I left I thought – “It is all a matter of perspective.” One woman was preparing for the second ice age; one thought this was “much ado about nothing,” and I knew I had to do something (even if I didn’t know exactly how to do it).

Aren’t most situations like that? We bring experience, emotions, abilities, and energy with us as we make decisions. We make assessments and judgments based on these elements. So many times we obstinately hold on failing to see perspective is personal. In any situation we owe others the grace to acknowledge their perspective and consider it as a possibility.