Brenda’s Blog – August 26, 2025

“Mommy’s outside having her Jesus minutes.”

As a young married with a toddler daughter, our Sunday School at First Baptist Church, Nashville, was a lifeline. Our teachers were an “older couple” in their late 30s who shepherded us well. How we loved them!

One afternoon I stopped by their house for a short shot of encouragement. When the front door opened, their nine year old daughter smiled and told me, “Mommy’s outside having her Jesus minutes.” I knew her source of strength, so I thanked the precious daughter and left. I never ever forgot that sweet answer to “Is your Mommy home?”

It makes me think about the minutes of my days. If someone comes to my door, what would they find? “Brenda is having her TV minutes… Brenda is having her Facebook minutes… Brenda is having her finding the last piece of chocolate minutes… Or, even Brenda is having her missing her family minutes, and yes, Brenda is having her Jesus minutes.”

Studies keep telling us how our brains are being affected by hours of screen absorption. It reminds me of what Scripture tells us. The transformation of our character is activated by our thoughts. What we see, read, think about, and talk about are foundational to our character.

Time matters. The more minutes (hours) we devote to an endeavor, the more it affects the outcome. As children, we were directed to invest time, not spend it, because it was a non-replenishable resource. How we choose to invest our days is a predictor of what the years will hold. When we look at our calendars we glimpse our values, and our life patterns.

In this fast-paced culture it is easy to speed through day by day without stopping to audit the use of that time. Making the most of the time God has designed for us is a stewardship. Learning to make minutes grow into days of contribution and value comes through watchcare.

May each of us stay faithful.

Brenda’s Blog – August 12, 2025

“Not my fault, not my fault, not my fault!” Four year old son Jeff was mumbling to himself as I walked through the den. I stopped to make sure I was hearing his repeated chant. “Jeff, what are you saying?” “I am practicing for the next time the girls blame me something I didn’t do.”

Having two older sisters often put him in precarious situations. The concept of personal responsibility had not fully matured in the girls’ characters, so Jeff was an easy target.

An unspeakably horrible catastrophe has literally inundated much of central Texas – a flood which has taken hundreds of lives. Reporters are saying that many of the missing will never be recovered as they are buried under tons of river sludge, and debris.

The first response was truly Texas Strong – thousands of volunteers covered the miles of devastation searching for any sign of life – and painfully recovering those whose lives were taken by this tragedy.

But way too soon voices seemed to rise above prayer and singing – the voices of recrimination and the ugliness of finger pointing. “Who is to blame?” was a constant theme on newscasts. “They caused this by their political policies.” Or, the detestable, horrid statement: “They deserved to die because they voted for such and such.”

It is as if a group had prepared for “such a time as this’ with their accusations, vitriol, and hatefulness were primed and ready. Too many are incapable of accepting the responsibility of civility. Too many have the assignment of blame as their default social response.

“How can we help? How can we provide comfort and care? How can we show the grace and love to Jesus?”

When we were young (and still immaturely eager to find fault) our Mom would remind us “Remember, when you point a finger at someone else there are four pointing back at yourself.’

Scripture teaches us to bear one another’s burdens, to have compassionate hearts, and pray diligently. That is what people should hear us practicing as they pass by.

Brenda’s Blog – July 29, 2025

As a kindergartener in Cincinnati, Ohio I attended Westwood Elementary School in Mrs. Preston’s class. To celebrate birthdays the teacher would take the student out of the room, returning with a crepe paper streamer which was tied in a big bow on the back of the child’s chair. Having a March birthday gave me months to anticipate “my big day!” I knew exactly what I wanted – a PINK STREAMER.

The day came; Mrs. Preston came to my chair and invited me to follow her. Out in the hall she opened a closet which held a large round cardboard container overflowing with streamers of every color. I knew what I wanted, but to my horror – I couldn’t see a pink one. I just froze. Then the life-changing words came from Mrs. Preston’s mouth: “Brenda, for goodness sake, just PICK ONE!” I reached in an pulled out a PURPLE one. IT WAS NOT PINK! I had waited for six months to sit in a chair dressed in a PINK streamer with a big bow.

The rest of the day went by and I tried hard to ignore the “offending crepe paper” wrapped around my chair.

Fast forward many years… I stopped by Dallas to visit with my parents on my way to speak in Kansas City to a women’s group. In organizing my message by talking it through with Dad this long-ago forgotten experience in Mrs. Preston’s classroom, it became clear my theme became “don’t settle.”

Quickly, decades flashed through my mind of settling because of fear, pressure, or hearing “For goodness sake, Brenda!” Serious decisions, simple choices, or life-altering actions – all affected by settling in order to please others, take the easy way out, or fail to take the time and make the necessary effort.

Back home in Des Moines, IA, I prepared to leave. The mailman delivered a large envelope. I opened it and found an entire cellophane-wrapped sheaf of crepe paper… INK CREPE PAPER! Attached was a small piece of paper with just these words “Don’t settle!”

Yes, from Dad.

The next day as I told my story and added illustrations to build out the principle I passed around the roll of crepe paper with a pair of scissors encouraging each women to cut herself a piece as a reminder.

Dad has been in heaven since 2007, but his words live on nearly 20 years later.

Brenda’s Blog – July 15, 2025

The elevator door opened to the large convention crowd who rushed in and immediately took a vow of silence. That is, until the door reopened and a woman stepped into the car. In the far back a voice was heard addressed to the newcomer: “You look like one of the presenters”… no response. We arrived at the lobby and the door opened. For just a moment the latecomer held the door back and said, “I do look like the presenter… Because I am her!”

It was an enjoyable moment in the middle of a highly-scheduled, people-packed conference.

I thought about it and wondered…who do I remind others of? What do they see in the way I speak, dress, walk, smile, treat others, or as my Mom would say “carry myself?”

On Father’s Day I posted my favorite photo off my Dad done on his 90th birthday by the premier photographer, David Edmondson. A friend mentioned it to me by saying, “I didn’t know your Dad but you look just like him.” I often want to say, “What of him do you see in me?” It could be our distinctive “Smith nose,” or our high foreheads, perhaps. Of course, I want it to be the eyes which reflect his wisdom, kindness, and intensity.

A Christian organization once named a building after Dad and commissioned a sculptor to do a bust of him for the foyer. I received a call from the group saying the sculptor just couldn’t get his nose right from the photographs but heard mine was just like his and would I go to his studio and sit while he finished? Accompanying my nose to the sitting was an interesting and intriguing experience.

As children of the living God we have the joy of bearing His name and identity – hallelujah. When others say, “you look like a Christian you can respond… yes, I do, because I am.” Yay, God!

Brenda’s Blog – July 1, 2025

“Don’t do a Sarah!” From his hospital bed Dad listened carefully to our conversation. A group of his good friends had just called me to offer help on purchasing a log cabin at Holly Lake Ranch which would be my home “after Dad’s homegoing.’ When I began the process I had a specific amount of money which would be my limit. If it weren’t accepted I would gratefully acknowledge this was not a good fit. These friends heard from Dad about the situation and told me they would make up the difference between what I had and what they were asking. These were godly, wise men.

I turned to Dad in the hospital room and told him of the conversation. Before I took the final breath and exhausted him with my detailed report of the phone call he looked at me and simply said, “Brenda, don’t do a Sarah. You have prayed about this; you have peace about the decision, so DON’T DO A SARAH!” I knew exactly what he meant. He and I read scripture together daily and the lessons learned in Genesis’s narrative of Abram and Sarai (Abraham and Sarah) still clearly came to both our minds.

She loved Yahweh. She loved her husband and wanted the promised blessings to be his. When it looked like the holy timetable had gotten off track she took it in her own hands to “fix it.” What everlasting trouble resulted from that simple act of helping God.

Dad was telling me to thank the men but to trust God. I graciously expressed my appreciation as I said no. Strangely, that very afternoon my realtor called saying, “I have put better offers than yours on the table repeatedly and been refused. They accepted yours and I will never know why. It is a mystery!” Was it really? Or was it the outcome of stepping out of the Ms. Fixer role and truly trusting God?

Dad died a few months later and I wholeheartedly believe those were his words of blessing for me. He knows I love God and he knows I too often jump ahead in my fervor and desire to see good things happen. But often I hear him say, “Brenda, don’t do a Sarah.”

If you find yourself too eagerly acting thinking “surely, this is such a good thing – it must be God’s will for me (or others)” pause a moment and consider that momentary trust can produce a lifetime of glory for God.

Brenda’s Blog – June 17, 2025

“What has become clearer to you since last we met?”

Transcendentalists Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau were great friends. Their times together often left great gaps in time. When they saw each other their greeting to each was “what has become clearer to you since last we met?” Isn’t that a marvelous question? Indeed better than “Wha’s happenin?”

Their greeting presumes each has invested time thinking about ideas, doesn’t it?

In our age of mobility we often lose track of friends. Platforms like Facebook enable us to reestablish virtually, but too often face to face is lacking. The experience of sitting down with old acquaintances, associates, and even family members is both pleasurable and meaningful.
When I took a promotion and moved to Iowa my job involved regular travel. For the first thirteen months I spent the weekend wherever the work ended on Fridays. I laid out a schedule of high school, college, and country-wide friends calling it my Sentimental Journey. I invited them to meet me for a cup of coffee and a “catch up.” It literally filled my relationship tank!

Two long-term local friends and I met for lunch yesterday. Of course the conversation turned to children and grands. “I get texts weekly and sometimes daily from my daughter, but if I call I get one word answers and a hurried ‘Bye, Mom!’”

A Facebook blog carries the title “The importance of Mother/Daughter trips.” As a mom and sister who is blessed to have fond memories of road trips, bucket list fulfillments, and discoveries of delicious desserts I know the critical nature of these excursions. There is nothing like time in the car together for free conversations, silly laughter, and warm hugs. It is even a proper way to find out what has become clearer to another!

A recent article encouraged readers to say thank you to those who had contributed to their lives. Parents, siblings, teachers, pastors, and employers were high on the list. As an octogenarian most of those deserving of my gratitude are no longer alive. I sadly wish I could tell my band director or choir teacher how music has been a stabilizer for all my life. The pastor who modeled grace and peace when a selfish family ignited a church split certainly would be on my list. Employers who believed in me and “saw something” will always be critical pieces of my story. If those on your list are still alive, don’t wait! Say thank you; tell them they made a difference. That is the best catchup of all!

Brenda’s Blog – June 3, 2025

“You never know what you are going to find when you pull off the drywall.”

I remember when TLC and HGTV captured the imagination and creativity of America. Everyone caught the remodeling bug and even began thinking of flipping houses as a satisfactory “side hustle.”

Every show featured the moment when someone’s dream home became a nightmare. “We have good news and bad news…” We all knew more time, more money, and fewer options were to follow. However, through the miracles of TV renovation the celebrity builders overcame all barriers and produced tearful reveals.

It was not unusual to find corrosion and mold when plumbing, wiring, and flooring were opened up. The exterior appearance belied the internal decay. No Band-Aids allowed – no patch jobs worked, either.

I realized my spiritual makeover (theologians call this sanctification) is similar. As the Holy Spirit pulls down the walls, my transformation into the likeness of Jesus exposes natural rot. I needed a full clean-out as the Spirit rebuilds me in His image. How many times did He open up areas desperately needing His construction skills?

Living as a testimony to the fruit of the Spirit required full time attention. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control were the outcomes of this construction project.

He provided tools of prayer, Bible study, and Christian fellowship to bring the elements of His love forth. The reveal isn’t a one-time experience. Rather, it is a day by day, ongoing work. But the day will come when we will be presented to God as the product of His magnificent work. YAY!

Brenda’s Blog – May 20, 2025

“Brenda, every curve on the road is engineered to be taken at the stated speed under normal conditions.”

I was sixteen, a new driver, and riding with my Dad through the mountains of North Carolina. He deserved much credit for his reserved response to my constant pumping of the brakes as we rounded the curves. It was easy to see he would not have driven the road the same way, but he knew it was important for me to learn to navigate the twists and turns.

I fell in love with driving at 16 and at 81 that love still thrives. In my cross country trips I often encounter challenging roads which remind me of Dad’s words. I may not take them like the race car driver he so wanted to be, nor like my friend Marianne who learned to drive on Germany’s Autobahn, but I don’t slam on my brakes and crawl, either.

Think about the application of this to life. The divine engineer has designed our journey knowing just who we are, what we need to learn, and the maturity which results from driving the curves. There are many times when I want to slam on the brakes saying, “This is too hard! This is beyond my abilities.” But then I remember Dad’s instruction and know there is nothing we face that is not within the stated speeds He has established. He is not unaware of the conditions. And critically important is the fact that He cares!

We are equipped by Him for the time in which we live. He chose these days for us. So, let’s drive in faith knowing the path is engineered to bring honor and glory to Him and fullness of life to us.

Brenda’s Blog – May 6, 2025

Four year old Phoebe looked up from her hospital bed and told her parents, “It is alright because God is not a meanie!” At her memorial service these words made us all cry. It has been several years, but they still come to mind regularly.

Jesus asked His disciples two questions: “Who do men say that I am?” and “Who do you say that I am?” He still asks us the same question. What is your answer?

The pastor and author A.W. Tozer wrote these words: “What a person thinks about when they think about God is the most important thing about them.” What do you think about when you think when you think about God?

As a young girl I learned to sing “Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little ears what you hear, be careful little mouth what you say. The Father up above is looking down in love.” “The Father up above” phrase put down deep roots in my little soul. I knew I could hide in my closet, under my bed – anywhere and God could see me. What didn’t go deep was the phrase “in love.” He watches because He cares, not because He is wanting to catch me doing something bad and mete out punishment. When as an adult I learned who He really is, it changed my life.

We know who we are because we know who He is. Our identity is established in and through the Lord Jesus Christ. This is a forever hallelujah! The world sets the parameters for how we think of ourselves and regard others. Those are false measures. The true one is established from the foundation of the earth by the Lord God Almighty who sent Jesus to redeem us, and tell us we are now His.

Brenda’s Blog – April 22, 2025

Devon Booker plays for the Phoenix Suns. When he was 18 years old he left college and went into the NBA draft as the youngest professional basketball player. He studied Kobe Bryant, even mastering one of Bryant’s signature moves. He chose well when he looked to the seasoned star.

He tells the story of asking for KB’s signature on his shoes. “Be legendary” was the message written on them with the famous player’s signature. That has become a lifetime message, especially after the tragic helicopter death of Bryant.

Perhaps we aren’t top draft choices, G.O.A.T. level performers, or known throughout the world for our wealth, but several points jump out: 1) Play to your strengths; 2) Choose a mentor wisely; 3) Understand the cost of excellence; 4) Appreciate the joy of accomplishment; 5) Set bigger and bigger goals.

What would you want to hear from your mentor? What are you saying to those who come to you for “life lessons?”

The influence of others on us and ours on them is too often discounted. Think of the time words of encouragement enabled you to take that next difficult step. Consider a quick moment when your smile at a check-out counter may have brightened a tough day. What we say can have lasting impact – even beyond lifetimes.

The book of Proverbs tells us an apt word is like “apples of gold in settings of silver.” High value, wouldn’t you agree?