Footprints

Weekly Thought – June 21, 2016

Fred’s legacy of wisdom continues through the influence of those he touched. One of his mentors Dr. Julian Gumperz died and was written up in the New York Times. The headline announced the passing of a man’s influence. Fred commented that the lifework and impact of Dr. Gumperz would live in him. A positive legacy is the true residual of a life well-lived.

Footprints

Lately I have been giving a great deal of thought to the difference between legacy and inheritance. It seems many of my friends are thinking about ways to leave money to their family members. Although this is admirable, I prefer to think about leaving a legacy. Legacy encompasses how to live and how to die- the passing on of one’s core values. My legacy will be my personal answer to the question: “What has been the theme of my life?”

While speaking in Las Vegas years ago I caught entertainer Ray Bolger’s act. I wanted to get the sense of who he was before I introduced him the next day at the conference. The limber-limbed dancer is best known for his role as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.
In his show he performed the signature steps of the dance greats who preceded him including Bill “Bojangles” Robinson, and Fred Astaire. His message was that they left something on the floor when they no longer danced. The close of the show was a sole spotlight focused on a stool in center stage. On it sat Bolger’s dance shoes, making the tacit expression that he, too, wanted to “leave it on the floor.”

We must carefully consider what legacy we are leaving. I am convinced inheritances often split families while legacies bond them. How many times have you seen families broken apart over money? The passing of the torch should not ignite a family fire.

It is crucial to think about the imprint we are making. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote about “leaving footprints on the sands of time.” Steve Green, the Christian musician, sings about the hope that “those who come behind us find us faithful.”

The mark we make is the rent we pay for the space we occupy on earth. Our legacy remains as long as our influence lives. It is our responsibility to make sure it is a good one. It is my hope to leave meaning more than money.

This week think about: 1) If I died today, what would be my legacy? 2) What steps am I taking today to build a legacy of meaning and faithfulness? 3) How can I communicate my life themes to others?

Words of Wisdom: “The passing of the torch should not ignite a family fire.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And entrust what you heard me say in the presence of many others as witnesses to faithful people who will be competent to teach others as well.” (2 Timothy 2:2 NET Bible)

Riding Free

Brenda’s Blog – June 14, 2016

“Hey, you there, in the cage!”

The billboard on Interstate 75 driving down toward Tampa caught my eye. I laughed out loud as I thought about it.

The Harley-Davidson ad certainly appeals to the secret biker in all of us. Yes, even this 70-something grandmother of nine! In fact, years ago I taped a picture of a curvy Colorado mountain road on my mirror and declared it to be my dream trip – on three wheels (I was never going to get down to two… )

Next step – taking the motorcycle license class. The first day we studied the rules of the road. Of course, I got the highest mark in the class. I was on the way to the Rocky Mountains. THEN the actual riding came. The moment the instructor asked me to surrender the bike and leave the class I knew I was never going to be cage free.

Unrealized dreams become fodder for funny stories.

We can look at that billboard in two ways. We absolutely make choices which put us in cages. Those limit our joy, our freedom, and our fulfillment. But alternatively, cages keep us from hazardous environments. For example, when shark-hunters explore their habitat they descend safely ensconced in wire cages – feeling grateful for the protection.

What cages do you remember? Which ones inhibited you? Which ones gave you safety? And what unrealized dreams now give you pause and a smile? Our stories make us real – let’s really always recall them. And ride free!

Mind-full-ness

Weekly Thought – June 14, 2016

Fred and Mary Alice were married on June 25, 1937. Although they met in 7th grade English class, they didn’t date until they graduated from Hume Fogg High School in Nashville, TN. She worked at S.H. Kress at the candy counter. Fred saved up his money, bought a few pieces of sweets, stood and talked with her regularly. At age 21 they married. Until her death in 2004 they remained faithful and true.

BWFLI was an idea which developed from one event to over a dozen. Thanks for standing with us.

Mind-full-ness

I asked the Senior Vice President of a billion dollar oil company: “John, what do you know now that you wish you had known when you got out of school?”

Very quickly he responded, “Fred, I wish I had had the humility of an open mind.” Have you ever tried to talk with someone whose mind was tightly closed because they thought they had all the ideas of value?

A common denominator I have discovered among eager learners is that they are not far from a paper and pen (or the modern equivalent). Watch for this! Engage highly energetic, ambitious achievers in a stimulating conversation, and suddenly you will see them record an idea that has crossed their mind. Note-taking achievers can throw away their recorded ideas later if they don’t want them (and smart folks do evaluate and discard bad ideas). But, if they want to remember an idea and haven’t jotted it down, how can they recapture it? Howard Hendricks, distinguished professor at Dallas Theological Seminary has trained thousands of men and women to carry 3 x 5 cards with them to catch what Dr. Haddon Robinson calls “the big idea.”

An outstanding young man I recently met said this to me: “A leader is not the one who has the best ideas; a leader is the man or woman who uses the best ideas.” In order to do this, the leader must have an open, discerning mind. Of course, I am not talking about a sticky flycatcher that picks up everything passing by, but an astute ability to open up to ideas that are helpful.

I always keep in mind that what leaders know is not uppermost – I am primarily interested in what they are and how they think. That will determine how well they will use what they know and how they capture that which they don’t know. This is a critical element of good thinking.

A friend of mine who was an eminent scientist instructed me to “make friends with your ignorance. Wake up each morning realizing that there is so much more for you to know than you knew yesterday.”

This week think about: 1) When have I been too close minded to consider new ideas? 2) How can I think about opportunities for greatness? 3) What can I do this week to stretch my mind?

Words of Wisdom: “Engage highly energetic, ambitious achievers in a stimulating conversation, and suddenly you will see them record an idea that has crossed their mind.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will think about all you have done; I will reflect upon your deeds!” (Psalm 77:12 NET Bible)

Avoiding the Up and Down

Weekly Thought – June 7, 2016

Fred loved cars. He understood them and treated them with great care. It is not surprising, then, that he used them as an illustration of principles. One of his bucket list items was being “in the pit” at the Indy 500. While working as a consultant for Mobil he enjoyed fulfilling this wish and meeting Sam Hanks.

Thank you for your interest in our campus work. Keep praying for us. And sign up for the BWFLI Prayer Network as we lift up specific requests monthly.

Avoiding the Up and Down

So many people live their emotional life like a yo-yo, going from high to low and back again. A Sufi parable alleges that a powerful king challenged his wise men to create a ring for him that would bring stability to his reign. The sages put their heads together and came back with a gold ring engraved with the phrase, “This, too, shall pass.” We need to realize that this motto applies to all of us, as well. When our children were young, Mary Alice often repeated those words when some teenage trauma seemed to bring total disaster.

As we mature, we learn to lengthen our emotional wheelbase. We take the bumps with less jolting. I often tell people to think of themselves as a Rolls Royce limo, rather than a VW bug. When you go over the bumps almost simultaneously the jarring is far greater than having a period (however short) of recovery before hitting the bump again. Our grandchildren perfectly illustrate this. One minute they are smiling and the next they are crying when something doesn’t go their way. Soon that moment is forgotten and they are happy again. That is a bumpy ride for their parents.

This realization brings equilibrium to our life. I find pessimists extrapolate the bad too far into life and the hyper optimist extrapolates good too far. Time and opportunity change conditions, so that Smith’s maxim says, “Extrapolate objectively.”

Whatever our condition, we need to keep in focus what we are trying to accomplish. An aim without a target is worthless. Part of keeping focus is to keep the machinery well oiled. To me, this means developing a sense of humor. I see some people running around with excessive heat who are doing damage to the engine simply because they don’t have that little shot of oil which dissipates the heat. I am convinced there is no better lubricant for life than a sense of humor.

Yo-yos are good for children and for friends like Bunny Martin who as the Duncan World Champion traveled the world. But yo-yo lives are not productive for most adults. In fact, they make even the most sure-footed sea sick.

This week think about: 1) What situations put me behind the wheel of a very small car? 2) How am I practicing the art of extrapolating objectively? 3) How do I keep my sense of humor well oiled?

Words of Wisdom: “As we mature, we learn to lengthen our emotional wheelbase.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NET Bible)

Spirit of 1966

Brenda’s Blog – May 31, 2016

“To Denison we raise our song, fair college on the hill.”

Opening the big, brown package brought a surprise – a memory book from the class of ‘66. I did not graduate from Denison, but remain on their “friend-raising” list. In recognition of the 50th reunion, they published a book showing each 1966 incoming freshman with notes on life experiences and current pics.

Names and faces triggered memories. “Died” triggered recognition of life’s fragility.

What was the spirit of 1966? It was a magical time. The College Board once produced a report showing SAT scores peaking in 1962 (our high school graduation year) then declining for years. We were kings, sitting atop the mountain. We were the product of post-war enthusiasm, economic growth, and industrial creativity.

We were the last of the Builder generation identifying more closely with our parents than even with our Boomer siblings. We were energetic, focused, yet traditional. Our values allowed us to desire change without advocating destruction. We saw working within the system still had possibilities.

Not surprisingly, these men and women excelled in careers… law, medicine, corporate leadership, and entrepreneurship. Most were married with children (many of whom were Denison graduates). Expressions of purpose wove throughout the published letters. We were raised by parents who believed in their responsibility to “pay rent for the space they occupied.” We expanded our space, but still send in rent money.

Now as grandparents (and even great grandparents) we look to the senior spirit. The themes of contribution, optimism, and forward thinking show up in our retirement years. We bring an attitude of exploration without exploitation. We lead as the pioneers whose women are the first to step away from full and fulfilling careers. We are not porch-sitting seniors who fade away.

What is your spirit? What is the song your generation sings? What will your letter be for a 50th college reunion? May you look back with joy and laughter. May you see the hand of God in and through the journey.

Hear! Hear!

Weekly Thought – May 31, 2016

Fred’s interest in communication allowed him to develop friendships with other great communicators. Zig Ziglar once said, “Listen to what Fred Smith says about listening, communicating, and understanding. Apply his insights to your daily dealings and you will be amazed at the astounding transformation that takes place in the people you want to motivate to new levels of performance.”

We are approaching 100 men and women who have joined Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute teams on Christian campuses. This intergenerational ministry is built on listening in order to begin conversations and create connections.

Hear! Hear!

Every leader spends a good part of the day communicating with others. A great many books have been written on techniques of good communication, but the real problem is the spirit, not the method. Attitude is often the barrier. Almost any two people who want to can talk together. The emphasis on open lines of communication hides a deeper problem. Often people who are unable to communicate find that they are hindered by their desire to impress, not express.

Motivation largely depends on communications, and the difference between a poor team and a good one is generally selection and organization. The difference between a good team and a great one is motivation. Any organization with the ability to get to good can move to great with the proper motivation. And nothing motivates quite like effective communication.

Most leaders are adequate talkers, but inadequate listeners. The ability to listen creatively and positively depends on the leader’s ability to listen on four levels: 1) the meaning of the words, 2) the choice of words; 3) the sounds of the words, and 4) the sight of the words.

Most people listen negatively, which is simply keeping silent or reloading while the other is shooting. Positive listening guides the talker both in the giving of facts and a display of emotion that permit the listener to evaluate on more than a surface level.

Communication is mistakenly confused with agreement. I often hear people say that all problems would be solved if we really heard and understood each other. Not so! In fact, if we really understood what the other truly was saying, we might have increased disagreement. We talk around subjects in order to avoid points of disagreement. Hearing and understanding are critical to communication, but not synonymous with agreement and concord.

This week think about: 1) How good am I at listening? 2) What is my greatest communication strength? Weakness? 3) Who is a model for listening skills?

Words of Wisdom: “Often people who are unable to communicate find that they are hindered by their desire to impress, not express.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who gives an answer before he listens— that is his folly and his shame.” (Proverbs 18:13 NET Bible)

20/20 Vision

Weekly Thought – May 24, 2016

Fred enjoyed visionaries. He appreciated their ability to see a project then gather the right components to realize the idea. He considered many executives and entrepreneurs as friends. Their stories energized him.

20/20 Vision

David Rockefeller was once quoted as saying. “The number one function of the top executive is to establish the purpose of the organization.” Like the hub of the wheel, everything else grows out of this priority. Until the vision is established, trouble is ahead. Scripture says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” The New American Standard Bible focuses on the way they perish: “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained.” To be restrained, to be concentrated in purpose, is essential to accomplishment. That is why the leader must define the reason for the organization to exist.

A leader must personify the vision and be dedicated to it personally. As they seek to maintain the vision, leaders must keep in mind these essentials:

1) Define the vision specifically. Leaders disperse the fog.

2) Express it so that other people understand it. Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.

3) Get both organizational and personal acceptance of the vision. Nodding heads without knowing hearts keep the motors idling.

4) Repeat the purpose over and over. The Old Testament patriarchs set up stones of remembrance to remind the people of their story. My wife, Mary Alice, always sent the children out the door with these words: “Remember who you are, where you are from, and what you represent.” She kept their purpose and our vision “ever before them.”

When you have a clear vision, you view everything in its light. A vision is a filter and a grid through which all activity flows. You come to see the need for a vision broad enough that everything you do can be tired to it. The focused vision will both include and exclude.

Despite the work that it takes to craft an effective vision, it is a far better alternative to perishing.

This week think about: 1) To what am I most dedicated? 2) How clear is my vision for my work, my family? 3) Who best models vision for me?

Words of Wisdom: “A leader must personify the vision and be dedicated to it personally.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but the one who keeps the law, blessed is he!” (Proverbs 29:18 NET Bible)

Listen to Me!

blog-68-rottweiler

Brenda’s Blog – May 17, 2016

“Use your Rottweiler voice…”

My daughter stood talking with a friend at church. The subject of a new and undisciplined dog was the topic. As Heather told of the misbehavior, her friend, a dog trainer, said, “use your Rottweiler voice.” Then without notice she loudly yelled, “NO!” The ensuing silence startled my daughter. People turned to see what happened. Embarrassed, my daughter’s friend smiled and continued the conversation in her non-Rottweiler voice.

There are moments when full-throated responses are not only helpful, but necessary. Think of the times when everything in you screamed “ENOUGH!” We either responded to another’s violation or even our own bad decisions. Change often begins with a loud proclamation.

We can get tone deaf when we live with relational noise long enough. We tune out negativity, discouragement, and distraction. We train ourselves to live with mediocrity. We need to take an inventory and perhaps use our Rottweiler voice to clear the air.

I am a product of the television era. At five Howdy Doody and Uncle Bob entertained us. I learned to do my homework with Dick Clark in the background. Even today, it provides company as I live alone. I learn to shut it out, but frequently a commercial comes on with a pitch so ridiculous it breaks through my hearing. As I spent time writing recently, an ad for “right sized toilets” came through. How can you not stop and listen? They figured out how to use their Rottweiler voice to capture my attention.

Women learn the effective use of voice placement to successfully compete. “Shrill, whiney, grating” are words often used to describe many female voices. Well-modulated, well-placed vocal expressions get attention without irritating. Speaking to be heard is incredibly important. Barking may work for dogs, but not for women (or men for that matter).

Let’s employ our authoritative voices as we mature socially and professionally. Let’s listen to our own voices as we seek to make wise choices.

Working the Mandate

Weekly Thought – May 17, 2016

Fred believed in the clarity of vision and mandate. He also believed not every open door required action. As a tonic for those who said “yes” too often he had a Fred Said: “opportunity is not mandate.” His disciplined view of mission helped many ministries to stay on task.

BWFLI plans for September and October are in active planning mode. Please pray for Asbury University and Palm Beach Atlantic University.

Working the Mandate

Establishing a mandate helps us to define the reality of our task and to lead with integrity. Leaders need to ask, “Why are we operating? What are we about? What are we dedicated to?” Once these questions have been addressed and consensus around the answers is developed, a leader has a mandate. This mandate will be the foundation upon which programs can be developed; recruitment of additional leaders can begin; an organizational culture can be established; and then an understanding of what to do and what not to do can occur.

One critical function of a mandate is separating loyalty to the leader from loyalty to the cause. The leader has to say, “I am subservient to the mandate.” A good leader knows that the organization isn’t there to make him or her happy, nor to serve him or her. It is there to fulfill the mandate. If the leader fails in doing that, firing should follow.

I once spoke with 10 pastors who have their doctorates. They are well-educated and highly qualified. One asked, “How can I get my church to do my program?”

I responded by asking him, “Did you found the church?” His answer was a clear “no.” I then asked him, “If you got a better offer, would you leave?” His answer again was a clear “yes,” “Then what right do you have to call it ‘my church?’ Pastor, the church isn’t a personal possession.”

While the leader is responsible for the initiation of the mandate, he or she has to build a consensus for it among the people. First, all must buy into the mandate; second, all must be willing to dedicate themselves to carrying it out.

Christ gave us His mandate and empowered His disciples to begin 2000 years of carrying it out.

This week think about: 1) What is the mandate for my work? My family? 2) How clear am I as a leader? 3) Who models leading with integrity in my life?

Words of Wisdom: “Establishing a mandate helps us to define the reality of our task and to lead with integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “How great are your works, O Lord! Your plans are very intricate!” (Psalm 92:5 NET Bible)

Know Thyself

Weekly Thought – May 10, 2016

Fred’s ability to speak truth clearly and effectively gave him a platform from which he stretched others. His capacity for setting aside his ego and seeing situations objectively provided authenticity.

The BWFLI week at Lindsey Wilson College and Alice Lloyd College provided non-stop opportunities to “stretch and bless the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.” Here is an example of student feedback: “The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute was informative for all parties involved. The older generation passed on their wisdom and expectations while the younger generation expressed their goals for the future.”

Know Thyself

The hardest person on any executive’s team is to supervise himself. He soon recognizes that “my problem is me.”

If many people took the energy and intelligence they spend devising ways to avoid work and applied it toward building a work plan, they would be highly successful. One of the most important executive disciplines is cutting off escapes from effective work. Sadly, there are executives who are strategic about accomplishment avoidance. For example, a great many people study their jobs rather than work them. Most people already now considerably more than they are actually using in the workplace. Education is not the problem – disciplined motivation is.

Another escape for most people is activity. They have not learned “results are the only excuse for activity.” Many people feel at day’s end they are satisfied with their efforts when in fact they have just been busy. They are the chief of their local fire department putting out flames but never constructing buildings. They are on the run but never getting anywhere productive. Too many executives eat, belch, and run – like fire trucks with dirty engines. Little boys make lots of noise playing firemen, but grown executives need to put down their helmets.

In order to accomplish anything, you must have a definite goal. Unless you can write it down, it isn’t definite or specific. My mentor Maxey Jarman taught me that aimless verbal wandering has no power. Only when I put the goal on paper does it take shape. Until it is formed, it may be a direction – but it isn’t a goal. A ship with a lot of steam doesn’t get to port unless it stays on course.

Once the goal has been set, it must be pursued with a burning desire. The desire must be maintained and sustained with discipline.

This week think about: 1) Where am I substituting busy for results-oriented? 2) What steps can I take this week to better manage myself? 3) How can I clarify my goals?

Words of Wisdom: “Little boys make lots of noise playing firemen, but grown executives need to put down their helmets.”

Wisdom from the Word: “To knowledge, self-control; to self-control, perseverance; to perseverance, godliness.” (2 Peter 1:6 NET Bible)

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