The Crux of Crisis

Brenda’s Blog – January 14, 2025

“We were told our house was safe, so don’t worry. Within ten minutes the flames surrounded our house.” The tearful woman stood with her son packing to seek safety as they evacuated.

The California fires raged! Homes burned to the ground and thousands of lives were changed forever.

I watched the devastation and thought about other fires… emotional, financial, physical, and spiritual. I also remembered hearing, “You are strong; you are fine; don’t overthink this.” Then in a seeming moment I experienced the effects of the overwhelming flames.

The news spoke of people grabbing their prepared “go bags” with critical items. The thought “what would you take if you had to quickly evacuate?” comes to mind. People, papers, pictures, and precious items always top the list. But how about go bag preparation for other crises? What needs to be done in case of a physical disease? A retirement plan depletion? A divorce? How do we create a structure to handle these fires?

The primary item in our bag must be faith. The Bible tells us when we follow Jesus we are never alone. Memorizing scripture and keeping it “on the ready” is essential. Spending time before the flames start licking at our life means putting down deep roots.

My Dad always thought through possible experiences – even when they would probably never occur. He and I disagreed on the efficacy of this strategy, but as I aged I began seeing the wisdom. “Brenda, I never want to be surprised, panic, and get paralyzed. If I think it through ahead of time and construct the way to handle it, I can take clear action.” Without living with a doom and gloom attitude, mental and emotional preparation gives stability.

The Bible says, “when you suffer,” not “if you suffer.” It will come. Make sure your go bag is prepared and ready for easy access.

Measuring Character

Weekly Thought – January 14, 2025

Fred held a principle firmly in his personal and professional life. In his book, Leading with Integrity wrote:” Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity. Fortunately, our character can be strong without being perfect.”

Measuring Character

Leaders are measured by their public and private character. Before creating an association or hiring I consider three points:

1) Personality affects the way we react to pressure and desires: the introvert must be drawn out to discover the response while most extroverts must be reined in by themselves or others;
2) Testing the strengths and weaknesses prevents surprise: Knowing others allows the leader to develop strengths and bolster weaknesses.
3) Past history is a predictor of the future: Asking co-workers, family, and friends can be enlightening. Often, they know our character better than they know our talents.

I keep three principles in mind when I evaluate my own character:

1) Find a trusted and valued objective resource: Biblical truth is a valuable yard stick for me.
2) Check for purity of purpose and transparency: An aide to General Robert E. Lee always closed his letters with YTCO which stood for “Yours To Count On.” These words are an indication of strong character.
3) Tongue control, ego management, obedience, and confession are all aspects of a strong character. For me, a healthy character is a sign of emotional maturity which is my goal.

Character strengthens under pressure, suffering, loss, tribulation, and failures. The mind gains experiences and the heart grows convictions. Character is the element that makes us stand when we want to run, to live when it seems easier to die, and enables us to fight for the right – even in a losing cause.

This week carefully consider: 1) What principles do I use in assessing character in others, and in myself? 2) Who is a model of good character for me? 3) When do I have to depend on my own principles to avoid making bad decisions?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “An honorable man makes honorable plans; honorable character gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 NET Bible)

Measuring the Role of Relationship

Weekly Thought – January 7, 2025

Fred annually did a “whole person” analysis and audit. He considered the various facets of his life, measured the goals from the year just completed and anticipated his direction for the new one. He looked at his relationship to himself, to others, and to God.

Measuring the Role of Relationship

Relationships are obviously both the personal and professional concern of the leader.

First, your relationship to yourself. Jean Paul Sartre, the French philosopher, was once quoted as saying, “If you are lonely when you are alone, you’re in poor company.”

I visited a magnificent home built n a remote part of the Colorado Rockies. It was so quiet you could hear the paint drying on the wall. I thought to myself: “Only a person at peace with himself could own a home like this.” In that kind of magnificent quiet, you have time to be alone with yourself. And you would have to be able to enjoy the company. You’d have to be satisfied with the way you are growing. You could not have your external success eating up your internal being.

That’s one of the tests of maturity: the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.

Second, relationship to others. Am I increasingly able to spend time profitably with people who are different? Immature individuals can’t enjoy people who don’t think differently. They prefer people just like themselves. Maturity is being comfortable with diversity.

Third, we must evaluate the development of our relationship with God. Is my walk with God more comfortable? More intimate? More real?
I had a friend who lost contact with God. The problem was this: instead of confessing, he was explaining. God is not very interested in our explanations. He knows why we do what we do. He doesn’t need our rationalizing. But, I have found, God is a marvelous listener to our confessions.

I have discovered I can explain things to God for years, but only when I get around to saying, “Mea culpa – I am guilty,” does my relationship with Him begin to grow again.

(By the way, I look at my relationship to my family, goals I have for family development as well as growing in our knowledge of each other. In my audit I look at my mental, financial, and physical “state of the union.” On January 1 I write all my goals down and the next New Year’s Day I honestly appraise the progress (or lack thereof) with an honest, transparent eye before setting goals for the next year).

This week carefully consider: 1) How would an annual personal audit benefit me? 2) Which of the three areas of relationship is the biggest challenge for me? 3) Where do I want to show the most progress this year?

Words of Wisdom: “The ability to be alone and at peace with yourself is a test of maturity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason we also, from the day we heard about you, have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” (Colossians 1:9 NET Bible)

Running the Race

Brenda’s Blog – December 31, 2024

“For me, it’s about believing in something trusting the process, and praying for the grace to overcome adversity.” Chris Schmidt, Dean of Students at Lindsey Wilson College.

In October, 2024 Chris Schmidt completed the BIG Kona Ironman Championship in Hawaii. His wife, Rebecca, posted notes and photos during the body and mind challenge. Thirteen years ago our Breakfast with Fred Leadership Institute team joined with Lindsey Wilson College, creating a relationship which still flourishes. His story of discipline, leadership, faith, and focus influences students nationwide.

Following him reminded me of an experience in the early 2000s. I met a local dentist who just returned from Kona where he completed the Ironman. He relived the experience as we talked. The narrative drew to a close as he described the last miles of the run carrying him to the finish line. He was emotional as both his mind and body time-traveled back.

When he drew the scene I literally was there as he spoke… “Keep on Joe Johnson; You can make it Joe Johnson; You have the strength to make it Joe Johnson.” I asked, “How did they know your name?” “The paper lists all the participants with their names, and numbers. As we travel the route, people are lined up with the paper shouting out personal encouragement.”

“In those last hours hearing the shouts kept me going.”

Very few of us will ever swim 2.4 ocean miles; ride 112 miles on a bike; or run 26.22 miles – one trial after another. It is a total of 140.6 miles. But ALL of us can participate in the crowds on the sidelines who cheer others on. We never know when someone is barely hanging on with cramps, mental distress, or near physical collapse. Our words of encouragement may make the difference.

Today, think of someone bravely running a challenging race and bring them in prayer before the Father. Be part of the “great cloud of witnesses” who supports others.

Walking the Fine Line

Weekly Thought – December 31, 2024

Fred “broke out in hives” (as he would say) when being manipulated. He highly regarded his good friend Zig Ziglar whose healthy motivation helped hundreds of thousands during Zig’s lifetime. Those who “worked others over to get their own way” received no applause from Fred.

Walking the Fine Line

We all agree motivation is good and manipulation is bad. But sometimes only a fine line separates the two, and it’s difficult to always know which side you’re on. The issues aren’t always clear-cut – what may be a legitimate case of motivation in one situation could, with a different intent, be manipulation.

For example, Mary Alice hid eggplant in a casserole to introduce it to me knowing I said I would never eat it. I complimented her dinner preparation: “This new dish is really good. What is it?” When she told me I had to decide if I was being motivated, or manipulated. Her motivation was a key factor. And besides, it really was good!

A psychiatrist friend chided me one night by saying, “You businessmen mistake manipulation for motivation. The difference is you can substitute the word ‘Thirst’ for motivation, but not for manipulation.” He was saying unless you are satisfying someone’s thirst, you are probably on the wrong side of the line. I can motivate with integrity because I am bringing to consciousness a genuine thirst.

I was motivated in my appreciation of Dixieland music, for example by Senator S.I. Hayakawa. He was an absolute authority. During one evening we began a discussion about the subtleties. He played on my intellectual interest to attract me to Dixieland. Later I realized that he, an excellent teacher and semanticist, had instilled a deeper interest.

At no time during our conversation did he expect my compliments on his teaching skills. He never said, “I’m going to try to intrigue you.” He simply intrigued me. He saw the thirst. He motivated and enlivened an interest I already had. He deepened it.

This week consider: 1) How clear am I on the distinction between motivation and manipulation? 2) Who has recognized thirst in me and motivated me to grow? 3) When am I tempted to slide into manipulation?

Words of Wisdom: “I can motivate with integrity because I am bringing to consciousness a genuine thirst.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Take note of the one who has integrity. Observe the upright. For the one who promotes peace has a future.” (Psalm 37:37 NET Bible)

Criteria for Effective Training

Weekly Thought – December 24, 2024

Fred, as a young man, received his early corporate experience at General Shoe Corporation (GENESCO) in the personnel department. His understanding of human behavior was soon recognized and gave him opportunities to quickly advance. The efficacy of training was a particular expertise. This week’s piece offers excellent counsel for trainers.

Criteria for Effective Training

In every aspect of business it is important to establish measurements. This is especially true for those responsible for training. Here are five questions I have found to be helpful in evaluation.

1) Is this job fitting well with his or her talents? If the answer is no, then I have little possibility of maximizing the person’s potential. It is my job to make sure job, talents, and temperament mesh. For example, putting a loner into a team operation will grind the gears long term.

2) How much willingness to do the job am I seeing? I watch to see if the person is basically enthusiastic about opportunity. If the job is simply something to fill time and provide a paycheck, I don’t expect much.

3) How consistent is the person’s effort? Sporadic effort is not what I want. A friend once told me, “The amateur plays well when he feels like it; the pro performs well whether he feels like it or not.” Long-term, consistent, day-in, day-out effort is what pays off in an organization.

4) What are the objective results? A lot of people give activity, talk, and excuses but produce little. Some get by for years without really producing. I know a man who is regularly praised. When I asked what specifically was highly regarded. “Oh, he’s got personality. He is such a likable guy.” But bottom line: he has never produced anything.

5) Is this person willing to be evaluated? I am not going to spend time developing somebody who resists having his results measured. Those who let me know they are self-evaluated and refuse feedback are not candidates for upward progress.

This week think carefully about: 1) How can I apply these questions in my work, my parenting, my community/church relationships? 2) Which question is most helpful in my current situation? 3) What can I do to help someone who is growing?

Words of Wisdom: “Long-term, consistent, day-in, day-out effort is what pays off in an organization.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A disciple is not greater than his teacher, but everyone when fully trained will be like his teacher.” (Luke 6:40 NET Bible)

Vision Gathering

Weekly Thought – December 17, 2024

Fred thoroughly enjoyed watching talented people maximize their gifts. He urged everyone to discover and develop their “uniqueness.” He especially appreciated those who could take an idea, mobilize others around it, and see it realized.

Vision Gathering

Leaders coagulate followers around the vision, not themselves. This is where we see integrity. Drawing followers to the person and not the vision is embezzlement. Using personal magnetism as a means of getting things done is, to me, manipulation. Genuine leadership gathers people around the purpose of the organization. Toward that end leaders must recognize:

1) Distinction between decisions and commitments. The first is short-term, the second is long term. Decisions can be for a limited project while commitments are aimed at the ultimate purpose. Both are necessary. People committed only to the long-term vision and not to specific tasks will not accomplish much. For an organization to thrive, the leader’s job is to produce the activity which then moves forward the overall vision. The leader must move people from decision to commitment.

Wise leaders know that when they get a decision, even a group decision, they have not gotten commitment. One of the worst mistakes a leader can make is getting a group to decide something they will not commit to. In the emotional moment of decision you can assume they are committed, but if not, things will fall apart.

2) The “driving wheels.” There’s a difference between people who provide the momentum in an organization and those who ride. Wise leaders know that if they get the driving wheels committed, they will bring the others along. Without the commitment of the driving wheels, the organization moves with an unsteady rhythm.

The best way to persuade the driving wheels if not with emotion, but with comprehension. My close friend, Jack Turpin (founder and president of Hallmark Electronics) gave a speech on sustained excellence. He has no lasting respect for short-term excellence. “Anybody who can reach excellence should try to sustain it,” he said. He knows how hard that is. He went on to say the only way people will perform excellently over the long term is if they fully comprehend what they are doing. A decisions based on emotional fervor won’t last; a fully comprehended commitment will.

Leaders must be honest about the vision, the effort necessary, and the reasons for the commitment.

This week carefully consider: 1) Am I clear about the importance of both decisions and commitment? 2) What important commitments have I made? 3) How am I doing sustaining excellence?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders must be honest about the vision, the effort necessary, and the reasons for the commitment.”

Wisdom from the Word: “O Lord, teach me how you want me to live. Then I will obey your commands. Make me wholeheartedly committed to you.” (Psalm 86:11 NET Bible)

Take Me Away

Brenda’s Blog – December 17, 2024

“Calgon, take me away” pleads the harried Mom, the overworked career woman, or the overwhelmed teacher. In the next frame, you see each of them immersed in a bathtub of bubbles with a giant “AHHHH!” on each face as the world fades away in their euphoria of Calgon bath products.

We all have seasons of stress. My friend the CPA takes her first full breath on April 16th, and again on October 16th (for all of her clients like me who file extensions). The pressure of deadlines, penalties, and fees hangs over her. Over her desk hangs a highly decorated frame containing a parchment affirming her as a Certified Public Accountant. Years of preparation, decades of experience – and seasons of stress each year.

A message recently from the Breakfast With Fred communications director changed my easy life rhythm to one of “get up and get going – NOW!” The content deadline for our website, blogs, and institutional prayer network slipped by me creating a need for 16 writing projects to be delivered in four days. Season of stress? You bet! Longingly remembering the dreamy faces on those Calgon ads? YEP!
But then I remembered wise counsel from my Dad… “Brenda, just start!” He knew me so well.

Where is your stress? Where and when do you yearn for the bubble bath? Use the hope as a reward. Think of the luxurious lounging in the bathtub as you face the stressor head on with determination.

Just start! And trust in God’s tailwind – He will propel you to faithfully complete your task.

Leadership is Serving God, not the Sheep

Weekly Thought – December 10, 2024

Fred addressed a large group of pastors in the early 1980s on leadership, by their request. His talk became part of a chapter in his book, Learning to Lead. As you will see, it stimulated much conversation in an era when “servant leadership” held sway throughout church life.

Leadership is Serving God, not the Sheep

You invited me to talk with you about “Pastor as leader.” The right concept of leadership is vital. Some people distinguish between the theoretical and the practical as if theory is not practical. A friend cleared this up for me: “Nothing is as practical as a correct theory.”

Currently one of the most popular concepts is “servant leadership.” Properly understood, it’s a helpful concept, but it has been terribly abused. The Christian leader is primarily a servant of God, not of each sheep. You are a servant or God, given to absolute obedience to what He says. To extend that to say you are the servant of each and every sheep is a fallacy. Let me be clear, this doesn’t mean you aren’t the prayerful undershepherd, but the Chief Shepherd is God Himself.

Steve Brown said he nearly became neurotic when he thought he worked for the church because that meant he had five hundred bosses. When your boss calls in the middle of the night to tell your something, you’re supposed to do it. If everybody in the church is your boss and you’re their servant, you’ve got an absolutely intolerable situation.

If the pastor’s gift is leadership (as evidenced by having followers) then the major expression of their service is leading. Scripture tells us that those who receive it are to lead diligently.

This position is difficult for some pastors to accept because of their personality makeup. Some pastors prefer serving people. Leaders who say, “Anything you need, let me know. I’ll cut your lawn; I’ll drive your kids to school” are not serving God, nor are they offering the best to their people. They are failing to understand the doctrine of spiritual gifts. We are to carefully identify our gifts and then operate within them.

The gift of leadership, as all the others, comes with challenges. If you, as pastor, or organizational head define your comfort zone by being liked, respected, and appreciated, leadership is difficult. If the gifts of helps or mercy are foundational, then you serve a great, essential purpose, but the discomforts of leading are probably an indicator that leadership is not your primary gift.

This week think carefully about: 1) Do Fred’s words from the 1980s have relevance for me today? 2) How clearly have I defined my spiritual gifts? 3) Where has Fred challenged my thinking about servant leadership?

Words of Wisdom: “If the pastor’s gift is leadership (as evidenced by having followers) then the major expression of their service is leading.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore, you shepherds, listen to the LORD’s message.” (Ezekiel 34:9 NET Bible)

Finishing Well

Brenda’s Blog – December 3, 2024

“There are some trees that grow well and then develop eccentricities at the height of their growth. There are some people who do the same.” Sir Arthur Conan Doyle through the character of Sherlock Holmes.

I live in the Piney Woods of East Texas. Giant pine trees, often 50-75 feet tall look healthy and robust. Too often storms take one down and we are surprised to see the vibrant tree is nearly devoid of a central core. The only evidence of life is external. At some point in the development it stopped properly maturing.

I was in a Sunday School class taught by former President of Dallas Theological Seminary Dr. Donald Campbell. In teaching through 1 and 2 Kings he described one of the ancient monarchs who ruined his last years through sinful behavior. Dr. Campbell commented, “This king lived too long.” Isn’t that a pitiful commentary?

One of the most popular phrases among Christians is “finishing well.” We desire to use every day well honoring God and bringing glory to Jesus Christ. As we take our last breath we want our families and friends to gather around in gratitude for a life that served the Lord.

Sadly we see too often men and women who appear to grow well, then “develop eccentricities at the height of their growth” in Doyle’s observation he gave to Sherlock. We need to be arborists who watch over our own development, pruning regularly, and understanding the principles of soul care. We want to have others celebrate our home going, not bemoan the fact that we outlived our values and made a junkyard of our old age.

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