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Leadership Clarity
Weekly Thought – February 14, 2017
Fred and Mary Alice had a sweet love story. Even though they met in 7th grade, they did not date until after graduation from Hume-Fogg High School in Nashville, TN. She worked behind the candy counter at the S.S. Kress store; he would go in, buy a small bag of candy and talk to her. She often talked about what she saw in him: “He had the desire and ability to make something of himself. He was the kind of man I wanted for a husband and for the father of my children.” An interesting twist: Years later Fred was named to the Corporate Board of S.S. Kress. He gave her the first directors’ check with this note: “The second sweetest thing I ever got from Kress.”
Leadership Clarity
A true leader is committed to the cause; a true leader does not become the cause.
Staying personally dedicated to the cause can become extremely difficult, particularly if the cause succeeds. A subtle change in thinking can overtake the leader of a successful operation. He or she begins “needing” certain things to carry out the work, whether business or ministry. Early on, the material necessities were minimal. With success too often comes the requirement of more. For example, I overheard a man saying, “How in the world did we ever get along without a company plane?” Success brought the redefinition of basic minimal requirements. It is good to step back and analyze the role of personal ego.
I see this in churches, as well, even though the signs are less visible. When the leader begins entertaining the thought, “What am I getting out of this?” the focus is shifting from the cause to the personal wants of the individual. The focus has become diffused. Other symptoms are professional marketing programs to “enhance the ministry,” time spent on personal visibility and recognition, denominational political progress, etc. The line between the ministry (cause) and the personality becomes blurred.
I greatly admire Mother Teresa of Calcutta. After winning the Nobel Peace Prize she decided she would not accept any further recognition. She was convinced it interfered with her work. She knew her calling and purpose was not to accept prizes and win acclaim. She was in the business of serving the poor of Calcutta. She knew what it would take to stay focused. It also kept her work untainted by political interests, who offered recognition and acclaim in exchange for being connected with her and her reputation.
Most of us leaders have an emotional block occasionally. We need to return to the vision, restate it to ourselves, and rekindle the spark. We must ask, “What is my purpose? Am I satisfying my ego through this ministry or sacrificing my ego to it?” Genuine leaders can say with Paul, “Follow me – as I follow Christ.”
This week think about: 1) What is my cause? 2) How clear am I on the purpose of my work? 3) What steps do I need to take to clarify my leadership?
Words of Wisdom: “A true leader is committed to the cause; a true leader does not become the cause.”
Wisdom from the Word: “I will give them a single-minded purpose to live in a way that always shows respect for me. They will want to do that for their own good and the good of the children who descend from them.” (Jeremiah 32:39 NET Bible)
Seeing and Being Seen
Brenda’s Blog – February 14, 2017
“FOMO is the essential element of our lives.”
Listening to a podcast about millennials and money, one of the panelists brought up the importance of experience in their lives. FOMO is a cardinal rule. The Fear of Missing Out absolutely drives so many of our 20-34 year olds. They long to be social – music, active lifestyles, interaction – these are part of their DNA. A generational specialist once told me, “They don’t listen to music – music is their world… it is the water in which they swim.” Socialization is the same.
Toffler, author of Future Shock, predicted people would be willing to allocate more money for experiences in work, consumption, and all other areas of life. Pine and Gilmore developed this idea in their work, “The Experience Economy.” They pointed out the service economy ended and now people wanted more than transaction – they want action and interaction. They use Starbucks, Nordstroms, and the Ritz Carlton Hotels as prime examples of making the experience the product. The true tangible product is really just a by-product.
Last week I had a conversation with Ronnie Cunningham who is an authority on today’s youth. He bemoaned the loss of logical thinking when totally exchanged for experience. Ravi Zacharias, the international theologian, uses as his tag line “Let my people think!” It is easy to control a group which focuses singularly on emotion and experience. Thinking is a protection against tyranny.
FOMO is intriguing! It is also addictive and manipulative. The anxiety created by always wanting to be in the middle of “what’s happening” puts a person in bondage. It is also a great creator of temptation. “I’m at the newest restaurant, buying the newest device, meeting the latest and greatest…” Tweets, Snapchats, and Instagrams like these create discontent. Back in the day we didn’t have FOMO, but we had “Be there or be square.” The threat of being left out wasn’t created by the millennials. Eve, in the garden, was tempted by the taunt, “Oh, God just doesn’t want to be have good things and be in the know.”
As a Mom, Gram, and great Gram I think much about the values of my family. How can I translate the experience economy and FOMO into a thirst for things which last – experiences which have eternal meaning? How can I fan the flames of not wanting to miss out on what God has to offer?
May those of us in the 4th quarter encourage younger ones to be bold and courageous – and strong in the things which have eternal value.
Forget the Formulaic
Weekly Thought – February 7, 2017
Fred appreciated Einstein’s words: “Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.” He liked bringing things to fundamental principles, but not creating pat formulas. He observed the intricacies of thought and enjoyed untangling ideas, so the artfulness of leadership appealed to him.
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Forget the Formulaic
There is no valid list of denominators for leaders – no formulas to follow. The ingredients vary in each situation. Sometimes, for instance, leaders must exhibit courage, yet at other times, their decisions are so obvious no courage is required.
I could list several “Traits of a Leader” but it would be like giving you a list of ingredients without giving the amounts or mixing directions. A bony skeleton has all the structure, but without the internal organs and flesh, it doesn’t resemble a human. Most lists are usually just intellectual exercises. You can go down the list, check the boxes, total the score and declare yourself a leader. But without the ability to put them together in an effective manner, leadership is still absent.
For example, one of the greatest requirements of a leader is knowledge of human nature. However, the application of that knowledge varies, depending on the activity. Napoleon was considered to be the greatest general because he was the master of human nature in war. This was the basis of his power. He knew how hard he could push, how far he could go, how much he could do with what he had. Ironically, he didn’t seem to have the same capacity for people knowledge when it came to politics.
Another example is Winston Churchill who showed tremendous leadership in the emergencies of World War II. When he tried to exert it afterwards, he failed. He understood the power of war-time leadership, but could not translate that into post-war success. There is no firm, constant hold on power – it is a delicate, artful balancing act.
Some people ask if leadership is innate or learned. I think it can be coached but never implanted. The great violinist Heifetz could be taught in the beginning days of his musical career. He learned the fundamentals: notes, rhythm, intonation, bowing, and fingering. As he developed he then needed a coach, not a teacher who taught the rudiments, but someone who fine tuned his skills and knowledge of the repertoire. As he became a world famous performer a great conductor remarked, “I can only tell him if he is doing what he told me he wants to do.”
I don’t believe you can make a leader out of someone without an innate sense of leadership. These skills show up early. You can watch three or four year olds and see those abilities demonstrated. With these innate abilities, circumstances and training will bring it out. The natural is a start, but needs the nurturing of development.
This week think about: 1) When did I first realize I was a leader? 2) How can I develop others? 3) What circumstances are most favorable for leadership development?
Words of Wisdom: “There is no firm, constant hold on power – it is a delicate, artful balancing act.”
Wisdom from the Word: “The discerning person acquires knowledge, and the wise person seeks knowledge.” (Proverbs 18:15 NET Bible)
Only One
Brenda’s Blog – January 31, 2017
“I am only one”
My paternal Grandmother was a woman of strong character, yet challenged with physical weakness. She gave birth to six children and raised the five “boys” after her little girl died in early childhood. As the wife of a depression era pastor she sacrificed daily to provide for not only her family, but all the others invited in by my merciful Grandfather.
In her later years we lived in the same town. What a joy to pick her up each week (with my two little toddlers in tow) and take her to lunch at her favorite place. My father graciously underwrote this “ministry.” She taught me about parenting, following Jesus, and plain, ordinary common sense.
She had a motto which hung in a small frame. I often looked at it, but did not fully understand its depth until later in my life. And the truth of the words strike me as even more profound year by year. During one of my crafty phases I studied calligraphy. I decided an appropriate gift for her was my rendition of her life words. She received it as if I had presented an original hand-lettered Guttenberg Bible.
After her death I went to her apartment and carefully took it from the wall. Even decades later, it has a special place wherever I live… a place that catches my eye and my heart. So, I want these words to give you hope in a chaotic world which demands far more than our bodies and minds should be expected to offer.
My Motto
I am one – and only one;
I cannot do everything, But I can do something.
What I can do I ought to do.
What I ought to do by the grace of God I WILL DO
Who Do You Serve?
Weekly Thought – January 31, 2017
Fred rarely fell into fuzzy thinking. His friend and mentor Maxey Jarman burned into him the necessity of clarity. He also objectively looked at processes and “pulled the loose threads.” He spoke plainly, but with beautifully crafted nuances. In these Weekly Thoughts, the material is garnered from Fred’s writings and notes over decades. Some of the illustrations are dated, but undoubtedly the principles are timeless.
Who Do You Serve?
The proper and right concept of leadership is vital. The correct use of theory is essential. Some people differentiate between the theoretical and the practical, as if theory is impractical. One of my earliest management lessons came in this simple maxim: “Nothing is as practical as a correct theory.”
Behind every practicality is a theory. Foundational to our moon shots was Einstein’s theories of relativity. Behind Edison was Faraday’s Theory of Electricity. Just so in leadership. The concept comes first and without a solid understanding nothing but faulty leadership develops.
Currently, one of the popular concepts is “servant leadership.” Properly understood, it is helpful, but it can (and has been) terribly abused.
In ministry, the Christian leader is a servant of God, not a servant of the sheep. Many spiritual shepherds get that confused – and operate incorrectly, inadequately, and often ineptly. The belief that each sheep is the source of the servanthood is to misunderstand the concept.
I have a good friend who nearly lost his sanity trying to be a servant leader to his congregation with the mindset that each was his boss. When one of his “bosses” called him in the middle of the night with instructions, he felt obligated to respond. The situation became absolutely intolerable.
Yes, you lead by serving, but the major expression of your service is your leadership.
Take for example, Lee Iacocca, a great leader. He is a servant of the Chrysler Corporation but he doesn’t ask every employee from assembly line to executive suite where and how the company should go. He may certainly solicit counsel, but he expects his employees to do their job well – just as they expect him to do his with excellence. Iacocca’s servanthood is expressed through his leadership. If he were to give up doing this he would no longer be a faithful servant of Chrysler.
This week think about: 1) What is my own definition of servant leadership? 2) How successful am I leading others? 3) What changes do I need to make in my leadership style to be more effective?
Words of Wisdom: “Yes, you lead by serving, but the major expression of your service is your leadership.”
Wisdom from the Word: “For the one who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by people.” (Romans 14:18 NET Bible)
Three Legacies
Weekly Thought – January 24, 2017
Fred’s heart for pastors was well-known. After the website (breakfastwithfred.com) began he received daily emails from men and women who shepherded congregations. They asked specific leadership questions, but mostly wanted to ask about the role of integrity in both the laity and the clergy. He answered directly and compassionately, often giving them a safe haven to talk.
Three Legacies
After decades in business I can still see my father’s influence in me. Here are three which stand out:
1) Dad was a stickler for integrity. At home he was a strict disciplinarian. PKs (preacher’s kids) are always on public display. Dad and Mother knew this and demanded we be on time, have our lessons prepared, and respect the ministerial position through proper behavior. Dad took very seriously the Biblical imperatives about the role of a pastor. We knew how he felt about the family’s being in order. It was a heavy burden at times, but it made us keenly responsible even as young men. I was never tempted to rebel because I understood his motivation. I inherited my father’s admiration for integrity, and I hope that is part of my legacy when I leave.
2) Dad taught me the value of a spiritual life. This is often difficult in a pastor’s home. The struggle between the spiritual and the material is an on-going battle. Ours was no exception. Our home existed for the spiritual welfare of the church. I never heard business discussed, for example, until I left at age twenty-one. I had to begin my entire business education after that. The same struggle is true, though reversed, in homes of executives who do not nurture the spiritual elements. Children who grow up without a spiritual foundation then come to salvation must begin that entire part of their education. Yet, the material side was a continual tug of war. We scraped by financially. We also were held to a different standard by Mother and Dad focusing on the reality of heaven – sometimes to the neglect of earthly things! But I did learn possessions and accumulation are not the measure of wealth.
3) Dad believed and lived out the principle of giving to others if you have it to give. He regularly offered his clothing, our food, and certainly our home to those in need. And more than that, he offered spiritual counsel and knowledge gained through his study of the Word. I internalized this principle as a young man and hopefully have continued to use it throughout my life. When the opportunity to write articles for LEADERSHIP JOURNAL came, I eagerly accepted. I could use what I had learned to stretch others. Frequently I am asked “what are the most important things I need to learn about leadership and management?” It gives me satisfaction to share what I have gained through others, as well as my own experiences. If I have it to give, then Dad would certainly press me to give with all my might.
This week carefully consider: 1) What lessons have I learned from my parents? 2) How am I influencing my family, my co-workers, my church members? 3) Whose leadership do I emulate?
Words of Wisdom: “I inherited my father’s admiration for integrity, and I hope that is part of my legacy when I leave.”
Wisdom from the Word: “The one who conducts himself in integrity will live securely, but the one who behaves perversely will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9 NET Bible)
Staged or Engaged?
“You are having dinner guests – I won’t stay long.”
My neighbor stopped by for a visit. She saw both my dining room and breakfast room tables were fully set. Her natural conclusion surprised me. “Oh, no, I am not expecting anyone – I just keep the tables set because I think it is prettier that way.”
If you walk into my house, the table settings will change seasonally. They look cheerful, inviting, and expectant. But rarely are the plates filled with food, the glasses holding sparkling drinks, or the napkins unfolded from their gala shapes. My tables tell a story – a make believe tale.
As I watch HGTV the “reveal” always includes a professional staging which introduces the potential buyer to the world as it could be in that house. You see active families, or energetic singles pursuing interesting lifestyles. As people view the homes they find themselves picture themselves inside the “storyboard.” I often wonder how they feel when they open their recently purchased home and the dream they bought has been packed up and hauled off in the stager vans.
My neighbor’s words made me think about my own home. And then my life. I love table settings (as did my Mom) and I love playing house ( as did my Mom). But my travel schedule, and my singular lifestyle don’t allow for a houseful of happy diners often. However, I like to think this is the way I live – the potential is there… the picture is there.
The question then arises… how often do we stage a life rather than engaging in one? Too often we dress the part, even talk the part, but actually never play the part. We can make our lives look interesting, challenging, and fun. But when the curtains are pulled, sometimes it is more staging than engaging.
My challenge to myself: invite real, living human beings to sit in those chairs, unfold those napkins, and fill the plates with food, gathering together with laughter, conversation, and engagement. I want to make the picture real in 2017.
Leadership More Than A Position
Weekly Thought – January 17, 2017
Fred believed leadership was both science and art – skill and intuition. He spent most of his life studying great examples and applying them to his experiences and for the benefit of others.
Leadership More Than A Position
As the son of a preacher, I noticed a curious thing growing up. People in church leadership positions didn’t necessarily know how to lead.
My father pastored a number of small churches in Alabama, Kentucky, and Tennessee. Unfortunately, many of the people were inexperienced in management. Factory workers who ran plant machinery by day came to board meetings at night and tried to become executives. It didn’t work. Even in my early teens, I could sense the ineptness.
As employees, they had no experience in good leadership and they were incapable of offering anything to the church in the way of management skills. They assumed places of leadership without having leadership training. I watched day-laborers with warped ideas of what it meant become absolute dictators in the church.
One of these men would suddenly become chairman of the board. He did not know anything about organization, future planning, human dynamics, or vision. He didn’t practice organizational leadership in his job or even in his family. Yet suddenly he became a mini-mogul.
Worse yet, most of these people failed to recognize their lack of training or ability. They assumed the title and the position gave them the authority they needed. They did not understand leadership is a function. It isn’t license to order others around, but it is a service performed for the good of the whole group.
I struggled as I watched my Godly, people-oriented pastor father defeated over and over by his lack of political and management skills. He was revered as the “padre of the slums” in the mill district of Nashville where he pastored for years. I saw him outmaneuvered and broken down by the power brokers, even in a small church.
My mother was the manager. She saved us from starvation in the depression era. She stretched $125 per month my father earned to feed all seven of us. How I wished that church leaders had the organizational skills of my mother.
These experiences convinced me of the value of an orderly way of doing things. I grew up wanting to be a leader – not just to occupy a position of leadership, but to perform capably.
This week think about: 1) Why do I want to be a leader? 2) Who demonstrates the true nature of leadership? 3) How can I recognize leadership talent and provide training?
Words of Wisdom: “It (leadership) isn’t license to order others around, but it is a service performed for the good of the whole group.”
Wisdom from the Word: “Elders who provide effective leadership must be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard in speaking and teaching.” (1 Timothy 5:17 NET Bible)
Love and Life
Weekly Thought – January 10, 2017
Fred was not “ooky-gooky,” as he was fond of saying. He was raised in a generation which expressed love through action more than words. His dedication to his family, his friends, and the body of Christ never veered off course. His fidelity and devotion to integrity became guiding lights.
Love and Life
Love creates an environment that strengthens the will to live. Love brings joy to our lives when there is often little to bring rejoicing. But we enjoy being loved so much we sometimes forget the responsibilities of being loved. Those who love us want us to live, not die. We often talk about pursuing a life worth living. I am convinced recognizing and understanding the value of love is a great part of that endeavor. Many tell me I am too strong-willed (and probably ornery) to give up and die, but I think the real reason for my zeal is the belief that I can contribute and that I am loved.
Doctors have told me many old people are said to die of “natural causes,” when in truth they actually die from loneliness – or a broken heart. There is actually medical research to show the connection between the emotional and physical condition. People can decide to give up life. Conversely, there is proof that those who receive loving care can sustain life beyond expectations. There was a study done to show the difference between patients who were prayed for and loved versus those who were left alone.
Just as God’s greatest gift to us is His love, the finest offering we can make to others is our love. And this is the love which is more than touchy-feely words. This is the love which C.S. Lewis defined as “wanting the best for the other.” Life giving love doesn’t have to be earned… it is freely given. One of the great lessons I have learned in my incapacitation is that I can love and be loved, regardless of my abilities.
Love is the strongest sustaining emotion we can feel. Acts of love are as important as words. One of my favorite times of day is when my daughter who cares for me comes in, pats me on the arms, kisses me o the forehead, and says, “I will see you in the morning.” When I was pronounced dying, she said to the medical staff, “No, I will take him home and he will live.” And so far, she has been right!
Even though my bride of 67 years is now in heaven I still celebrate Valentine’s Day… for her. And every day I can celebrate the truth of God’s love. He sent us a Valentine that would last forever – the “I love you” from Christ.
This week think about: 1) How do I know I am loved? 2) What motivates me to love others? 3) When is love most real in my life?
Words of Wisdom: “Life giving love doesn’t have to be earned… it is freely given.”
Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord your God will also cleanse your heart and the hearts of your descendants so that you may love him with all your mind and being and so that you may live.” (Deuteronomy 30:6 NET Bible)