Weekly Thought – September 25, 2018

Fred maintained keeping longer goals was one of the secrets to vitality in the aging process. He said, “when you start shortening your goals, you are giving yourself permission to die.” He laughingly told of getting new carpeting in their home and insisting on a 30 year guarantee. He and Mary Alice was were in their late 70s at the time. Even when physical limitations curtailed much of his activity, he kept on stretching mentally.

Keep On Climbing

So many people settle for a lower, comfortable plateau than they could attain by maintaining attention to achieving a higher plateau. High achievers rarely are deterred by the desire for comfort. The force that pushes you forward can be seen as 1) the tension between where you are and where you should be. This is negative tension for it produces guilt. Or, 2) It can be seen as the tension between where you are and where you could be. This generates excitement.

True achievement is not a straight line upwards, but one with staggered steps. It is a process of forward movement and then plateauing for assimilation. This process is repeated over and over and continues throughout a productive life.

In the Christian life most of us settle for a lower level than we should. I asked one of my favorite theologians, Ray Stedman, “what are you going to teach Sunday?” He replied, “I am going to tell my people to stop praying for what they already.”

In business I have seen the sad case of very talented individuals who aren’t discovered until too late. In a major corporation the President was regretting that the talent of one of the middle managers was not seen early enough to move him into top management. Some motivational speakers say, “It’s never too late!” The fact: in my experience, it can be too late. Young people should be encouraged to start as early as possible on their upward climb. It is always more profitable to work now and play later.

Unfortunately, our society has encouraged young people to waste the richly productive years in pleasure. If they could understand the value of deferring leisurely gratification, the payoff would be much more robust. And if they could see the benefit of pressing on without settling for comfortable plateaus, they would accomplish much higher levels in the climb.

This week think about: 1) Where am I in my climb? 2) What keeps me from stepping out on the next ascent? 3) Who can I encourage to put aside comfort and press forward?

Words of Wisdom: “True achievement is not a straight line upwards, but one with staggered steps.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now David achieved success in all he did, for the Lord was with him.” (1 Samuel 18:14 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 18, 2018

Fred held his friendships in high esteem. Even after death, he referred to them as friends (not former friends). One of his most notable relationships was with Francois Fenelon a 16th century monk he certainly never met. “My friend Fenelon” was how he began many stories. Fred knew well what true friendship meant and regarded them with deep respect.

Thank you to the friends of BWF who have consistently prayed, encouraged, and financially supported this work for 15 years. This fall will mark the 10th year of the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. Our many friends make this possible – and of course, the grace of God.

From Function to Friend

Years ago I met John Stein, the famous impresario, who brought several of the luminaries to Broadway. When I asked him about the secret to the popularity and longevity of stars he said it was in the simple formula: the musical artist or actor goes on the stage or up on the platform as an entertainer, but leaves as a friend. The audience, whether in a concert hall, studio, or at home, feel a bond with the performer. They think they know them.

He explained how they moved from function to friend. They were not interested in an image; they were interested in the function’s creating a way for them to become real to the audience. Think of personalities who are so familiar, you really believe you know them. These celebrities are approached all the time in public places by people who honestly believe they know them, their families, and details of their lives. They achieved the crossover from function to friend. Of course, this friendship is only in the mind of the audience. Those who begin to assume there is a valid friendship become obsessed.
Perhaps moving from function to friendly is healthier!

This is an important lesson in leadership. The great doctors I have known have been able to make this transition without losing their objectivity. My great friends at the Mayo Clinic performed their function so beautifully that their friendship made it a joy to be with them. Mary Alice used to think I was going on vacation when I would head to the Kehler Hotel in Rochester. They know their medicine but they also now me as friend.

This applies, of course, to other fields of work, as well. Anyone who has to maintain an image will suffer loneliness and alienation. The important thing is that there is a real person behind even the strongest function. Young ones talk about “empty suits.” I like that description. There are those who do their jobs so well – operate within their function so adequately – but have nothing but the persona. We appreciate their expertise, but fail to care about them as people beyond their function.

Function can become a shield and a mask, aiding us to hide from closeness. But others know when we lead from duty and not desire. I am not recommending you create social relationships with all in your leadership sphere, but that you have an attitude which lends a personal touch.

Jesus went about “doing good.” I like to think He exhibited more than just good works. My friend Ken Blanchard talks about Leading Like Jesus – moving from function to friendship is key.

This week think about : 1) How have I hidden behind a well-executed function? 2) What do I do to make sure others think of me as human? 3) Where are my strengths and soft-spots in leading others?

Words of Wisdom: “The important thing is that there is a real person behind even the strongest function.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And to all these virtues add love, which is the perfect bond.” (Colossians 3:14 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 11, 2018

Fred’s masterful understanding of human nature and scriptural principles gave him stability in his life and in his relationship with others. His ability to take everyday experiences and turn them into object lessons made all of life an “illustration adventure.”

Don’t Overload Your Circuits

We are always warned by the electric company not to overload a circuit. That is sound advice. When I noticed I have six plugs on one outlet I thought about the admonition, but I knew the danger was only potential. Why? Because I only use one of the devices at one time and none will max out the circuitry by themselves. If I decided to turn them on all at once. Or, if Mary Alice plugged in and tried to use all her kitchen appliances simultaneously, the circuitry would undoubtedly be overloaded and there would be a power outage. I remember the years before modern breaker boxes when I had to replace fuses and then remind everyone about the limits of the circuitry.

Overloading happens in our lives, as well. We max our circuitry when we have high levels of potential involvements, emotional experiences, or time commitments. As long as we balance them we keep from frying our system. The trouble comes when we try to flip the switch and do too much at one time – we blow a fuse.

The critical point is the relationship between the number of items on a circuit and the use of these devices. Both elements have to be in play. How does this play out in our lives? For example, one can take on fourteen commitments as long as none of them is so demanding to pull power from the others. Or, if several of them are in play simultaneously the human being can overload.

If commitments or activities compete for the current, danger exists. Different items pull different amounts of power for emotional and mental output. We need to understand well the demands of each commitment, measuring carefully the energy each will require and how it will interplay with other activities.
A simple example: in the years when I was doing much speaking it was an activity which was energy producing, so the output and the input were equal. If the work of preparing had not been met with positive response and the sense I was helping, the energy required would have been too much.

To avoid overload, you must reach an equilibrium point where the amount you give and the amount you receive must add up to a positive energy ampage. We burn out when the energy expended (whether psychic, emotional, spiritual, or physical) is not offset by the energy produced.

Remember, it is not the number of tasks, but the net energy required that determines the point of overload.

This week think about: 1) What is giving me energy right now? 2) How close have I come to burn out? 3) Where am I learning to measure the energy input/output?

Words of Wisdom: “The trouble comes when we try to flip the switch and do too much at one time – we blow a fuse.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But if anyone is deficient in wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without reprimand, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 4, 2018

Fred spent his entire life studying communication. He learned from men in all areas, including business, arts, preaching, and medical practice. He was a lifelong learner focusing his attention on principles which he incorporated into his business and professional life, as well as his Christian lay experiences.

On September 1st Fred would have been 103. We are thankful his influence continues and we thank you for your ongoing support.

Discipline of Communication

Every leaders spends a good part of the day in communication. A good many books are written on the how-to rules of communication, but the real problem is the spirit, not the techniques. Almost any two people who want to talk together can. Often people who are unable to converse successfully are hindered by their desire to impress, not express.

Motivation largely depends on communication and the difference between a good team and a great one is the element of inspired motivation. The difference between a poor team and a good one is generally selection and organization. Any organization with the capability of moving to good can take the next step to great with the proper understanding and use of effective motivation.

Most leaders are adequate talkers, but inadequate listeners. The ability to listen creatively and positively depends on the ability to listen on four levels: 1) the meaning of the words, 2) the choice of words, 3) the sounds of the words, and 4) the sight of the words. Most people listen negatively which is akin to staying silent while reloading while the other is shooting. Positive listening guides the talker both in the giving of facts and a display of emotion which permits the listener to evaluate on more than a surface level.

Reading body language, seeing what is between the lines, and the ability to grasp the “question behind the question” as one business consultant puts it are all factors in effective listening. In our culture, talking over with a testy, combative attitude has become the acceptable behavior. Listening quietly signals lack of opinion and power, rather than denoting thoughtfulness and interest.

Communication is mistakenly confused with agreement. I often hear people say our political and relational problems would be solved if we really understood what the other one was saying. Not so. In fact, if we really understood what the other was saying we might see we have even deeper disagreements.

Hearing and understanding the words, intent, and purpose are critical to communication, but not synonymous with agreement and concord.

This week think about: 1) What is my strongest communication skill? 2) How often do I think communication automatically moves toward agreement? 3) When do I struggle being a good listener?

Words of Wisdom: “Listening quietly signals lack of opinion and power, rather than denoting thoughtfulness and interest.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters! Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19 NET Bible)