Fact or Fantasy

Weekly Thought – July 16, 2024

Fred regularly challenged himself and others to “keep current.” His reminder to leave the “used to’s” behind struck home as colleagues and friends aged. Living on past experiences solely limits relevance. Choosing what one would wish it to be rather than what it is was considered by Fred to be a waste of time. This excerpt from a Highland Park Presbyterian Elliott class lesson in the 1980s proves principal-based thinking is timeless and timely.

Fact or Fantasy

No matter how beautifully or reasonably a situation is defined it is no more than fantasy if not based on truth. I am particularly impressed at this time with all the politicians vying for the presidency. They are telling us of the panaceas they can provide if elected. They list all the major problems and tell us they will solve them once they are in charge of the government. They have made one big miscalculation. They have the wrong concept of human nature.

Humanity is flawed and cannot be perfected by governmental programs. Welfare, no matter how well intentioned, that does not require individuals to be responsible will create perpetual dependence.

Once I fortuitously had breakfast with the well-known commentator David Suskine the morning after he debated Bill Buckley (who cut him to ribbons). Suskine, however, maintained a gracious spirit. I opened up the breakfast by saying I admired his attitude my politics were conservative. I asked him, totally aware and respectful of his intellectual capabilities: “How does a man as learned as you take your political and philosophical position?”

“In order to be a liberal you must first believe in the basic goodness of man,” was his reply.

I told him with that statement he gave me a complete understanding of his position. I went on to say I believed in the doctrine of man’s original sin. He said, “That is a horrible thought.” I asked him if it was a thought or a fact. Sometimes in order to control a subject we will rename – and misname – it.

I further told him that if I believed in the basic goodness of man than I would freely support education, and financial aid as the solution to social ills. But if humanity is basically sinful and we provide privileges without responsibilities we could create monsters. I feel many of our programs fail because we do not understand the sin nature of humanity.

The imperfectability of humanity is a fact. Programs built on the basic goodness of humanity is built on fantasy. Faulty conclusions are the natural result.

This week think about: 1) How clear am I in my fact v. fantasy thinking? 2) Where does wishing alter the actual situation? 3) How much time have I spent thinking about the nature of man?

Words of Wisdom: “Humanity is flawed and cannot be perfected by governmental programs.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Look, I was guilty of sin from birth, a sinner the moment my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:5 NET Bible)

Evidences of God

Weekly Thought – July 9, 2024

Fred lived out the principles of scripture… exhibiting wisdom, integrity, and trust. He wanted to be a man whose decisions reflected the reality of God. The nature of God and the nature of man were constantly on his mind as he viewed life through a filter based on the sovereignty of God and the responsibility of man.

Evidences of God

I was invited to attend a luncheon of 17 leading pastors, including Stephen Olford. Billy Graham called him the man who had most influenced his ministry. During the table conversation he said, “My brothers, I am weary of celebrity religion. You know I have received my share of honors. But when I die if my family does not say, “There is something of God in the man, I will have failed.”

A holy hush came over the group. Each attendee thoughtfully considered his own personal situation. As that day comes to mind I think about the evidences of God in a man.

First, I would suggest a quiet center that cannot be panicked. The Quaker theologian Thomas Kelly called it making a “mental habit of internal orientation.” I just call it cultivating a quiet space that cannot be disturbed.

I think of Christ asleep in the boat when the storm was raging. Or, the eye of a hurricane when all about is roiling, the very center is peaceful – almost eerily quiet.

Second, God is evidenced in the way we speak. I think of my friend Bob, raised on the streets of a big city saying, “When I came to Christ He cleaned up my dirty mouth and tongue.” Vulgarity gave him a bad taste in his mouth. His profanity habit turned into “praying without ceasing.” Prayer came as readily as the swear words did before.

Third, our quality and breadth of love is another evidence. Unconditional love comes from Christ and when demonstrated, it is from a divine source. We are a conduit – we are the pipe. This love is more than tolerance. My saintly friend, Orene Howard told me, “Fred, there is not a sin which I cannot commit. If I thought there were I couldn’t love the one who did commit it.”

Fourth, the last one I will mention is our attitude toward death. One of the most important decisions in life concerns dying. The assurance of heaven gives us a peaceful acceptance of life with its variety of conditions. The Apostle Paul said “I know how to be brought low, and how to abound. I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” The ups and downs remind us that this life is the practice – the real game comes later. I am glad!

This week consider: 1) How would you ascertain the evidence of God in another’s life? 2) How would others see evidence in your life? 3) When you think about death how certain are you about your relationship with God through Jesus?

Words of Wisdom: “Our quality and breadth of love is an evidence of God.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” (Philippians 4:11b ESV)

Don’t Ever Give Up

Weekly Thought -July 2, 2024

Fred thoroughly enjoyed his work as a management consultant. Companies called him to help build strategies around employee relations, sales/marketing direction, and clarity in sticky situations. He famously talked about the “key log.” He explained that as logs traveled down rivers they would frequently get stuck. Rather than expend energy trying to straighten the mess the loggers knew to find the “key log,” extricate it, and the flow would continue. He knew how to create conversations to identify key logs and start the flow again. Fred never quit!

Don’t Ever Give Up

I am convinced there are 5 don’ts for successful living: 1) Don’t ever give up; 2) Don’t look back; 3) Don’t delay accepting failure; 4) Don’t settle for “it might have been;” and 5) Don’t panic. This morning let’s look at number one: Don’t Ever Give Up.

One time I was working with J. Mack Swigert, esteemed attorney with the Taft Law Firm in Cincinnati, on an extremely difficult labor negotiation. It was not only difficult; it seemed impossible for us to win. Feeling the need for a mattress to fall on in the event of loss, I started listing the various reasons we might not win. He stopped me cold with this comment: “Fred it’s better to win. You don’t have to explain a win, and you can’t explain a loss.” Then he added with a smile, “Clients pay better fees for winning.”

A person should never spend time thinking about reasons for giving up, for slowing down, or stopping. This is preciously why the follow through in golf is so important. Every golf pro strives for the high finish. Actually, it doesn’t have anything to do with hitting the ball; it comes after the ball is struck. But follow through shows that the golfer didn’t start stopping before hitting the ball. Most duffers start the process of stopping the club before striking. The high follow through is evidence of not quitting. In similar fashion, a person who develops the habit of winning won’t quit at a crucial time, either consciously or unconsciously.

I once held a seminar for young men with serious financial losses from an economic downturn. It was their first time to lose, and they were shaky, and confused. We called the seminar: For Losers, not Quitters. Losing is a temporary condition; quitting is an attitude.

Mike Todd, the Hollywood mogul once said, “I have been broke many times, but never poor.” Broke was temporary; poor was an attitude. Broke is in the pocket; poor is in the mind.

This week carefully consider: 1) When have I confused losing and quitting? 2) How needs me to explain the difference? 3) Where can I kick some key logs to get better flow?

Words of Wisdom: “A person should never spend time thinking about reasons for giving up, for slowing down, or stopping.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 ESV)

Stop, Look, and Listen

Brenda’s Blog – July 2, 2024

Sitting on a sunny Wednesday afternoon after a delightful lunch with my elderly friends in Dallas I reminisced about our pleasant afternoon while waiting for my little side street to enter Northwest Highway. Then WHAM!

A redlight-running car crossed the main intersection ramming a car entering the intersection on the green. Cars collided bouncing into one another like bumper cars at Six Flags. Then, totally unexpectedly one careened into my quiet little side street striking me.

I wasn’t even close to the initial accident yet here I sat in the middle of the action. How could this happen? I felt violated, stunned, and angry. How dare this man make a decision to run a red light at an unreasonable speed and set off a domino effect right there in the middle of Park Cities? A bad choice by one selfish driver created a pile of tangled metal and traffic on Northwest Highway.

Reams of paper, rental car details, and weeks of inconvenience followed. All because someone else hit someone else who hit someone else who hit me!

The Bible talks about generational blessings and curses. Decisions we make and actions we take can change the trajectory of family history. Think about the influence of ancestors on our lives… where they lived, who they married, what work they did, how they answered crucial questions about faith and core values, how they handled money, and even how they voted. All these set a path for generations to come.

We, too, influence the far ranging impact on those around us and those we will never know.

Ideas, experiences, and actions bounce off each other like the cars that day creating history. What we do today is like a pebble thrown into a water making ripples. What we believe, how we live, and what we pass on is of great importance. Let’s commit to making today the foundation of a good tomorrow.

Something Good Today

Weekly Thought – June 25, 2024

Fred and Mary Alice were married 67 years on June 25th 2004. He was in rehab and unable to celebrate with her. The family gathered in the facility’s dining room and shared a full to-go dinner from Lawry’s, their favorite place to share anniversaries. The Smith family’s byword was “Be A Blessing.” They, indeed, modeled that for all who knew them.

Something Good Today

Let me tell you one of my favorite stories.

Several years ago I had a major operation at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. Mary Alice felt sorry for the doctors and hospital staff because she knew what an executive I was… translated: “how things should be run.” She knew I would quiz the doctors about their qualifications (with respect and charm) as thoroughly as possible. For example, I found out the surgeon was returning from vacation. I asked him to make me his second surgery of the day. I wanted him to get his hand back in the swing of things before he met me. He actually complied.

Then my wife knew I would put my management eye on the hospital, asking why they did what they did and arranged things as they did, hoping to offer some improvement. As I sat in the waiting room I was called to the desk. “Please put all your valuables into this lock box.” I did and then realized my ego was actually the most valuable thing I had. Right then I decided to put it in the box, as well. I would be totally submissive and cooperative. I found the joy of community rather than the responsibility of being a management consultant. I put aside the pressure of establishing the pecking order and focused on the similarities in people, not the differences.

Late one night (or probably early one morning) one of the nurses came in and said, “Mr. Smith, I am coming to ask something of you I have never asked of another patient in my life.” I nodded agreement and she continued. “We have a young woman who is dying. She doesn’t have one flower in her room. You have nineteen arrangements and I was wondering if you would give one to her? She is all alone.”

I pointed to a magnificent arrangement made up of exotic flowers flown in from Hawaii sent to me by the Elliott Sunday School Class of Highland Park Presbyterian Church in Dallas. In the center stood aj beautiful bird of paradise. I suggested that she take that one.

About thirty minutes later the nurse came back in choked with emotion and started walking around the room. She came to the foot of my bed, squeezed my big toe, and walked out without a word. I knew she was saying, “Tonight we did something good.” I will always remember that feeling.

Sometimes when I am not sleeping at night, I wish the Lord would squeeze my toe and say, “We did good today.” Being a blessing should be our heart’s desire. After all, isn’t it said about Jesus that He “went about doing good?”

This week carefully consider: 1) When have I had my “toe squeezed?”2) How can I go about doing good? 3) Who models a life that blesses others for me?

Words of Wisdom: “I realized my ego was actually my most valued possession.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He went around doing good.” (Acts 10:38(b) NET Bible)

He Sees Me

Brenda’s Blog – June 18, 2024

“What does Corum Deo mean?” That was my question to Google. Living among men and women who seriously study God’s word and Christian thought can be intimidating. Some toss Latin phrases into their conversations with casual elegance. I generally understand, but not always.

Yes, I know “Pax Vobiscum” (peace be with you) from years of choir benedictions; “Adeste Fideles” (Oh come all ye faithful”) and “Imago Dei”(image of God) from years of Reformed Theology training.

But Corum Deo? I recognize it in writing, understand it when spoken, but how do I fully grasp it, much less apply it? Google tells me it literally means “in the sight of, in the presence of God.” Commentators expand that to mean we live every day under the eye of God, the omnipresent One.

As an octogenarian single woman this concept’s definition brings great comfort. However, as a young girl in the 1950s who desperately wanted to be “in the center of God’s will,” it was a daunting idea. Misinformed and often grace-less adults used the eye of God as a control mechanism. They taught me He watched me night and day. They failed to encourage me with His “watching over.”

They exhorted us with “Be careful little eyes what you see, little ears what you hear, and mouths what you say, for the Father up above is looking down in love.” A marvelous thought, right? This was an early lesson in the value of context and editing for to this day I remember the song without the words “in love.” What we heard was the warning that no matter how far under the bed or deep into the closet we went, God still could see us. The implication was a God of intimidation – a divine patrolman.

Oh, that our well-meaning (for the most part) Sunday School teachers would have emphasized a God with us, protecting, guiding, and providing. Oh, to understand Corum Deo in all its glory… that we could live in the light and sight of His presence. Yes, He rules and reigns but we heard that he wielded a ruler and rained down punishment.

Thank you, Father, for teaching me the beauty of your presence.

Someone to Look Up To

Weekly Thought – June 18, 2024

Fred wrote about heroes and their value in his 1983 book You and Your Network. He firmly believed in the influencing effect of heroes on us. His thinking on heroes causes us to probe our own history.

Someone to Look Up To

We cannot live fully without heroes for they are the starts to guide us upward. Not only do they personify what we can be, but they also urge us on. Heroes flesh out our ideals, and embody our highest values. Socrates said, “Talk, young man, that I might know you.” I would add, “Talk of your heroes that I might know not only who you are, but who you will become.”

A discerning investor had lunch with the young, recently named CEO of a corporation in which he held a large bloc of stock. He asked about the executive’s heroes. The new CEO named a ruthless military general and a well-known arrogant businessman. From then on, the conversation cooled and ended much sooner than expected. As the man told me of this encounter he remarked,” What a shame to turn over an organization to such immaturity.” Because of his impression of the CEO he sold his large holdings in the corporation. It proved to be a wise decision as the leadership took the corporation in a disastrous direction.

Dr. J.C. Cain of the Mayo Clinic. We talked about the difficulty in choosing new students. All had excellent grades, fine discipline, high motivation, and outstanding work habits. In searching for questions to use as he interviewed to discern he used “Tell me of your heroes.” Dr. Cain found this to be an essential cluse to their value structure.

Those who have no heroes have not yet identified their highest ideals. Greatness demands an appreciation of correct values as seen in others. As a person changes his heroes, he changes the direction of his. The saddest person of all is the one who egotistically become their own heroes, which is disastrously like trying to become one’s own god.

I am convinced that the one who occupies the hero category cannot be contemporaneous. We can admire, respect, and use men and women as models, but until they have run the race and their lives have assessed, I don’t see them as qualified for the true hero space. Finishing well is a current buzzword. I believe there is credibility in looking at the entire run. Dr. Donald Campbell, President of Dallas Theological Seminary in teaching on the kings of Israel pointed out one “lived too long” making his latter years shameful.

I often counsel young men to live their lives in such a way that they don’t “make a junkyard of their old age.” Live as heroes-in-training.

This week think about: 1) Who do I consider a hero? 2) When I was 10 who did I want to be? 3) How could I use the question about heroes this week to open up a conversation?

Words of Wisdom: “Don’t make a junkyard out of your old age.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Encourage younger men likewise to be self-controlled,[a] showing yourself to be an example of good works in every way. In your teaching show integrity, dignity.” (Titus 2: 6,7 NET Bible)

Relaxing for Health

Weekly Thought – June 11, 2024

Fred and Mary Alice lived close to the Cooper Aerobics Center in Dallas. He used to joke that he loved exercise. In fact, so much that on Saturday mornings he would stop by his favorite donut shop then drive over to the Cooper Center. As he drank his coffee and munched on his donut he would watch the runners circle around the track!

Relaxing for Health

Physical and emotional health is aided by relaxation. It helps the healing that comes from within when the motor is allowed to idle. The test of beneficial relaxation is that it gives more energy than it requires. We should come away from recreation re-created, not destroyed. How many times do you hear “I need a vacation to recover from my vacation?” That is not relaxation.

In this high energy environment we often let our peers set the standard for our relaxation. To be fun it must almost be hysterical. The idea of “extreme” physical exertion leads to burn-out.

Controlled recreation is not relaxing. I’ve seen the control types who say “alright, for the next five minutes we will relax” at a sales meeting. Or, heard children ask Type A fathers, “Are we having fun, yet, Daddy?”

One of the keys to my personal relaxation was understanding the sovereignty of God. When I found out He’s going to be able to continue running the world after I die I relaxed. When I fully realized God loves me, but doesn’t need me I found total relaxation. I could let go.

What most of us need to do is simply give ourselves permission to relax without guilt. A friend who travels internationally has found a short nap is a way to successfully recover from jet lag. He has incorporated it into his personal “standard operating procedure.” He found many couldn’t accept this for it created “work ethic guilt.” In my twenties when I was in charge of a factory and had my office in the building I took off my coat, climbed up on my conference table and took a nap. The President (and my mentor) was energetically wired could never understand this. We agreed to disagree because the results were there.

I am convinced the seventh day of rest wasn’t just for spiritual rejuvenation, but physical and emotional recovery. Thomas Kelley, the Quaker theologian and philosopher, wrote of finding the “quiet center” of life which cannot be disturbed by anything in life. Resting one day a week is a helpful tool and definitely finding genuine, authentic relaxation is a way to the quiet center.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I use leisure time for true re-creation? 2) When do I feel the pressure of production which compromises my health? 3) When I think about Sabbath what comes to mind?

Words of Wisdom: “Physical and emotional health is aided by relaxation.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For the one who enters God’s rest has also rested from his works, just as God did from his own works.” (Hebrews 4:10 NET Bible)

Now You See Me – Now You Don’t

Brenda’s Blog – June 4, 2024

“I had to look over and over to find the hawk so I could get the photo.” My friend Kathy is a professional photographer who specializes in wild life, especially birds. After months and months she finally spotted a hawk in a tree near their home. The Piney Woods of East Texas create a hospitable habitat for a richly diverse selection of subject for her.

The hawk was captured in full form perched on a broad branch of a tree. When I first saw her photo my reaction was, “Protective coloration at its best, isn’t it?”

Living in rural Texas gives us all opportunities to see this protection in the seasonal changes. The dappling which resembles light playing through the trees covers newly-delivered fawns; the drab coloration of female cardinals keeps prying predators away from the nests; and of course, the grassy , woodsy patterns on the skins of snakes allow them free access to fields and backyard wood piles.

A friend of mine received word his company was negotiating with another in preparation for a merger. His cryptic comment was, “Time to put on my protective coloration.” “What do you mean?” “Dress like they dress, take the gray out of my hair, and keep my head down.” I thought he was kidding, but watching the transition proved his strategy correct for he made it through the merger successfully.

We all have out own ways of avoiding detection. We hide anger, fear – even the need for acceptance and love. We wear smiles when we are in terrible pain; we “play nice” when clearly the situation is unfair; we pretend to enjoy someone’s company until we can escape. These are all ways of wearing masks which provide protection.

Being unmasked conjures up unspeakable dread, doesn’t it? Being fully known drives us to mask and even double mask. But God didn’t create us to provide our own protection coloration. He promised to be with us, leading and guiding – and protecting. How can we help others if we present only a false face? Protective coloration for hawks is given by God… the presence of the Holy Spirit is the protection given to us. Let us walk in truth showing what God has done, is doing, and will forever do – hallelujah!

Principles from a Dramatic Rescue

Weekly Thought -June 4, 2024

Fred once said his “distillation process” was in born. He could take bountiful information and bring it down to helpful, transferable principles. He said as he worked through he would come to a point where he saw the “one liner” as clearly as if it were written on the wall. Principle-based thinking became a leadership trend long after Fred began operating this way.

Principles from a Dramatic Rescue

In 1987 the dramatic rescue of Jessica McClure held out constant attention. Since then we have had numerous news episodes, but this one began the “saga of spellbinders.” Do you remember the little girl who fell into the well? Her Mother’s heart condition kept her from watching. She told the rescuers, “Tell me when she comes up.” I scribbled down some principles I observed.

1) Our greatest joy can come our deepest sorrows. The length of the time she was in the well only exaggerated the relief and joy when she came up alive. The tension and the anxiety are represented in other areas of life, as well. For example, recovery from a life-threatening illness, return of a lost child, or the release of POWs.

2) Our handicaps can become opportunities. The man born without a collarbone was able to squeeze into the well where a fully formed man was blocked. All his life the volunteer suffered with his disability but then it became a strength. At times like these we think of Queen Esther and her Uncle’s words: “Perhaps you were born for such a time as this.” Our handicaps may be the ground of our greatest contributions.

3) How easily we forget our blessings. While Jessica was down in the well many around made deals with God in exchange for her safe return. It was His favor that restored her, not the “trades” made. And quickly after the emergency the source of the blessing was soon forgotten. It was no longer news!

4) Physical extrication is dramatic and exciting, but what about spiritual rescues? Would we work so diligently to save a soul fallen into the world’s well? The drama of seeing rescue teams, neighbors, and media work to bring her to the surface was electric. We all fought for her life. Would we fight as hard to free a soul from the depths of hell as we did to free Jessica from the well?

Think about this week?1) How often do I pass through my day without thinking about the principles of the experiences? 2) What would it take for me to stop and seriously think about the meaning of my family life, career, friendships, community?3) Who am I praying for a rescue from the depths of hell?

Words of Wisdom: “Data to information to knowledge to wisdom – that is the process.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Guide me into your truth and teach me. For you are the God who delivers me; on you I rely all day long.” (Psalm 25:5 NET Bible)

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