Weekly Thought – July 30, 2024
Fred enjoyed a reputation for asking questions which clarified, directed, and discerned. However, he never asked questions which were intrusive or inappropriate. Human interaction and communication was of particular interest to him and he valued them.
Interested, Not Curious
Sharing is built on confidence by friends who have a deep, sincere interest in each other. Note that I said “interest,” not “curiosity.” I am turned off by people who are curious about me, but I am irresistibly drawn to the person who is interested, accepting me for who an what I am. So often we confuse interest in people with curiosity about people. But there’s a vast difference between the two!
Interest has a positive, helpful, outgoing implication, while curiosity is self-centered. Seeing and hearing about a person can scratch the curiosity itch, but interest requires an affirmative effort with a desire for the good of the other person.
Now, there’s a heavy streak of curiosity in all of us, but it is a trait that must be bridled in the tender atmosphere of friendship. No subtlety or cleverness can conceal curiosity for it reveals itself in the type of questions asked. For example, if a person asks an executive curious questions about his business, the fences will go up and no true relationship can exist. Confidence is impaired because questions asked out of curiosity are blatant revealers of selfish motives.
Without a climate where confidences can be shared, there can be no genuine friendship. It is vital that friends be able to trust one another implicitly, and the very desire or willingness to be known and to know the other person is an integral part of friendship.
Authentic friendship demands the willingness to have a question go unanswered – or possibly even unasked.
This week think carefully about: 1) How do I recognize when I am substituting curiosity for interest? 2) Who is a good example of crafting helpful questions? 3) What is my strongest asset to bring to a friendship?
Words of Wisdom: “Interest has a positive, helpful, outgoing implication, while curiosity is self-centered.”
Wisdom from the Word: “The righteous person is cautious in his friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26 NET Bible)