Weekly Thought – April 3, 2018

Fred always thought beyond the box, not just out of it. When given a subject, he plumbed the depths uncovering content no one expected. A 1983 speech delivered to a Fort Worth, Texas audience in 1983 illustrates this ability. He was asked to do “a stewardship talk” in a church. He did talk about money, but it was the last point of a well-developed and delivered talk. He used the word “relations” rather than “relationships.” Staying true to his voice, we keep the Fredism.

More than Money

The Stewardship of Relations- The early church was known for their relations with each other: “How they love one another.” They were not known for how they grew, or even for a balanced budget. I have long felt that any success the church claims which can be stated numerically approaches being unscriptural. The church and other Christian ministries have borrowed from business the language of figures because it is so much easier than to define it by relations.

I can take an inventory of your assets and give you a precise figure. I cannot take an inventory of your relation with your wife and put it into numerical values. Did you ever hear anybody say, “We have a marriage that is about a 76%?” Once I was foolish enough to try and put a quantitative measure on the morale in our plants. We soon saw how totally impractical that was. Words like healthy, productive, improving versus unhealthy, unproductive, and deteriorating made more sense. I think as Christians measuring ourselves scripturally is the proper approach.

I once spoke to a prestigious church group whose theme was “Leadership for Growth.” It made me think about a great statement I once heard: “It isn’t about his height, but his depth that really matters.”

Before I sound self-righteous I have to tell you I am a new convert to this “relation over production” concept. Until five or six years ago I was almost totally production oriented in my personal life. I certainly hoped for good relations, but they were not primary. I think my executive experience trained me to look for production. The organization was designed and measured quantitatively.

I parented like an executive. For example, I never watched TV with the family. After dinner I would go into my study to “get some work done.” I would hear them laughing and a few times during the evening I found it necessary to walk through the house, passing in between the family and the television, making remarks about people who wasted time. Of course, they ignored my barbs and went right on enjoying their program. I didn’t improve the production, but I certainly impeded the relations.

My son Fred helped me change my approach. I will tell you about that another time. It has been exciting at times and at others frustrating to rethink how I live in relation to my family, but it has been the most valuable shift I have ever made. I still don’t sit and watch TV, but I don’t make snide remarks, either. Progress!

This week think carefully about: 1) How am I doing in building and developing relationships? 2) When do I fall into attempting to measure impact and influence only by metrics? 3) Which relationships need tending this week?

Words of Wisdom: “The church and other Christian ministries have borrowed from business the language of figures because it is so much easier than to define it by relations.”

Wisdom from the Word: “They help one another; one says to the other, ‘Be strong!’” (Isaiah 41:6 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 27, 2018

Fred chose to have his annual physicals at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, because his long-time physician and friend practiced there. An extra bonus were the evenings spent in the doctor’s home with others for exciting conversation. He returned home in high spirits. When he required surgery, he returned to Mayo knowing their skill and the opportunity to recover in that environment.

We are continuing this week with several of the ideas he put together as interesting thoughts to start the mental engine in the morning with his coffee.

Morning Mental Jolts

1) Beware of the Exception – We have to be careful not to be caught up by the exceptions. I remember reading as a child of a man who picked up a page out of the Bible blowing down the street and became a Christian. That doesn’t mean that every windy day in Dallas we should rip pages out of our Bibles and throw them into the street as an evangelistic strategy. Many get rich quick schemes are built on the belief that we can be the exception – that we don’t have to follow the ordinary rules of wealth accumulation. Thinking of ourselves as an exception is dangerous and foolish.

2) Asking for Advice – When asking someone to help you make a decision never assume they will see the situation as you do. Avoid an opening statement such as “This is terrible – I don’t see any way out – you probably won’t have an answer for me.” Just state the facts with an air of optimism to give the other person confidence. And a key to asking advice: don’t give your opinion unless they ask for it.

3) Heroes – Heroes are not necessarily people without weaknesses, but are most often people who have overcome weaknesses and difficulties to accomplish great things. If our heroes are public figures we should guard against letting the media destroy them by exposing their weaknesses in a tabloid way. Instead, we should continually look to their achievements in light and in spite oftentimes, of their weaknesses. We are not looking for god-like figures – there is only One.

4) Transition – Many people lose the process of transition, making them less effective than they could be. Transition always follows three steps: 1) Letting loose of the past; 2) Entering into the neutral zone when one is between trapezes; and 3) adapting and accepting the new. We often fail to proceed to stage three because we are afraid of the release in the neutral zone. Even worse, we realize we are still carrying the past on the trapeze with us, making a clean and successful shift uneasy.

This week think about: 1) How well do I make transitions? 2) When I ask for advice how hard is it for me to avoid giving my unsought opinion? 3) Who is trying to live as an exception and could benefit from Fred’s quick thought?

Words of Wisdom: “Just state the facts with an air of optimism to give the other person confidence. And a key to asking advice: don’t give your opinion unless they ask for it.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And do everything in a decent and orderly manner.” (1 Corinthians 14:40 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 20, 2018

Fred’s answer to “what are you thinking about?” was never “nothing.” He thought constantly and consistently. He made lists of ideas, prayer items, and future projects. Life without thought was inconceivable to him. Therefore, when he gathered 17 pages of “daily warm-ups for the race of life,” it was a practical exercise. Here are several more quick thoughts which Fred used as conversation starters.

BWFLI greatly appreciates your support of our efforts. Keep us on your prayer list.

Stretching Out Before the Race

1) Corroded Connections. The cares of life often corrode our connections with other people. Hate, spite, revenge, and pettiness cause spiritual corrosion. The other day I noticed that one of the headlights was out on one of our daughters’ cars. I looked at the fuse and saw that it was intact, but noticed some corrosion on the connection. I cleaned it and the light came on. Corrosion had interfered with the current. Harmony and goodwill are more than just pleasantries in the environment, they are vital to our spiritual connection.

2) The Power of Passion. Martin Jurow, the movie producer, told an interviewer that the thing that makes the difference is passion. This works even in a negative context. For example, the dictator Juan Peron said, “Only the fanatics accomplish.” I do not advocate hurtful, hateful passion. But I do believe the idea of balance may be oversold. Those who accomplish greatly do not give equal attention to all areas. A good question always to ask is, “What are you passionate about?”

3) Bridges. How foolish it would be to believe that a bridge would hold whatever load you put on it. Bridges are designed and built for load limits. Similarly, our moral strength won’t be whatever we want it to be, but what we train and build into our character. Therefore, to put ourselves into situations which exceed our moral load limits is unwise and unhealthy.

4) Talented Humility. To me, Pavarotti is a truly humble person. By that I mean he sees his talent as a gift and refers to it as “She.” When someone asked him when he would quit singing he said, “She will tell me.’ By taking the talent which he has and holding it like a Tiffany setting holds a shining diamond, he can be humble toward other people without disparaging his own exceptional gift.

5) Life and Death. In the Christian life there are two principles at work. One is the principle of life which comes at the new birth. The other is the principle of death, which is the old nature as it dies away. The new man of the Spirit is to increase and the old man of the flesh is to decrease.

This week think about: 1) How can I use these quick thought starters in my family, business, and church life? 2) What shows me my new nature is growing and my old nature is diminishing? 3) Who can I engage in meaningful, stimulating conversation this week?

Words of Wisdom: “To put ourselves in situations which exceed our moral load limits is unwise and unhealthy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Seek the Lord and the strength he gives! Seek his presence continually!” (1 Chronicles 16:11 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 13, 2018

Fred’s ability to fashion a principle-based thought from everyday experiences distinguished him from others. His writings gathered into “daily warm-ups for the race of life” demonstrated his appreciation of quick thoughts which would stimulate conversation.

BWFLI update: Please pray for the two April events at Alice Lloyd College (April 6,7) and Lindsey Wilson College (April 27,28). Your consistent encouragement is appreciated and felt by all.

Warm-ups for Healthy Living

How much I enjoy conversation which starts with an idea and then fires up into something beneficial for all engaged. Here are a few suggestions which might be enjoyable starts:

1) Power. Power is the ability to get things done. It is active, not passive. A thought may be powerful but its power comes from the action it evokes, not just in mental stimulation. We hear about power seats, power ties, and power drinks. But none of them is really power – they are simply images of power and shadows of reality. True power gets things done.

2) Envy or Contempt. Once in a business conference I became a little uncharacteristically pompous, possibly even self-righteous, and one of the other executives with a keen sense of humor said, “Smith, speaking as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?” We may feel that we are stirring up envy when we are really stirring up contempt.

3) Helpful Eavesdropping. Yogi Berra was reported to have said, “You can hear a lot by listening.” I have learned many helpful things over the years by innocent eavesdropping. I was sitting in the Lobby of the Gibson Hotel in Cincinnati listening to two women talking. One was an older lady; the other younger. When the younger asked the older a question I was interested to know the answer. “If you had your life to live over, what would you do with yourself?” The older woman didn’t hesitate but responded quickly, “I would find something big enough to give myself to.”

4) Keeping Your Concentration. One of the in a college basketball game made a particularly good shot and grinned at the crowd. The commentator said to his radio audience, “It’s too early to smile, there is too much game left.” In the Winter Olympic Games, a U.S. figure skater made the difficult jumps and then fell on a very easy maneuver late in his performance. The commentator said “He relaxed too much. He assumed he had done the hard things and the easy things would take care of themselves.” We must concentrate right up to the end.

This week think about: 1) When did I lose my concentration and it caused a fall? 2) How would I answer the older woman’s question? 3) What symbols of power have I substituted for power that gets things done?

Words of Wisdom: “True power gets things done.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – January 30, 2018

Fred consistently “connected the dots.” He saw life principles playing out and enjoyed developing illustrations from everyday experiences. This week’s material is excerpted from an article in Senior Pathways magazine.

The BWFLI season begins in March with a What’s Next Roundtable event at Jarvis Christian College in Hawkins, TX. Please pray for our team, and the students. We ask for direction, preparation, and a moving of the Spirit as we spend time interacting around Fred’s topics of mentoring, networking, and persevering (Character building).

Life’s Jigsaw Puzzle

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes all the pieces don’t immediately fit together. It is an effort that draws in both the child and the adult as we strive to assemble the finished product. There are times when others help us identify pieces which elude our gaze. One of the most frustrating experience is believing a piece fits into a space and yet just isn’t exactly right – no matter how hard we try to press it into place.

Puzzle solving styles differ. I knew an expert “puzzler” who would turn the pieces over and put it together without the assistance of the picture. Others operate by seeing the big picture before beginning. Some look for pieces which are a natural fit and gather little patches. I like to put obvious pieces together, even leaving holes because I know the correct pieces will serendipitously appear giving me great joy.

It is always better to continue making progress rather than agonizing and being paralyzed by the seemingly missing piece. Those who get caught up in the missing pieces of their life puzzles can be overwhelmed and stop making progress. This is giving into immaturity.

I find it interesting to see how people begin the project. I find it helpful to put the border together to give the puzzle structure. Some just jump in putting together pieces by color, shape, or design. Have you ever watched people tried to build a life without forming a foundation? They might put pieces together randomly, but they float around without a substructure.

Pieces don’t stand on their own – each is part of the whole. Life’s puzzle is like that, too. For example, I once heard a Buddhist priest who converted to Christianity give his testimony. For all his life he trained in meditation, but came to an empty end. When he found Christ he realized all his years of devotional living now had meaning. He found the true Source. He saw the picture on the box. The pieces fit together.

Think about this week: 1) What is the picture on my puzzle box? 2) Who is helping me put my puzzle together? 3) How do I handle the frustration when the pieces don’t seem to fit?

Words of Wisdom: “I like to put obvious pieces together, even leaving holes because I know the correct pieces will serendipitously appear giving me great joy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord strengthens and protects me; I trust in him with all my heart. I am rescued and my heart is full of joy; I will sing to him in gratitude.” (Psalm 28:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 18, 2017

Fred often thought out his counsel to younger ones who asked much like the Apostle Paul (Fred’s way of referencing him) wrote to Timothy. He outlined ways to mature for character development was uppermost in his thinking.

Encouraging them to grow in grace and walk in a manner worthy of their calling is our heart’s desire as we engage with college students. Please pray for our work at BWFLI.

Wisdom for the Workplace

One of the first principles of a successful job is stated simply: Do accept the first job as a complete challenge, and not just a step to the next one. Do the job well – better than anyone else, if possible. Add something to the job which didn’t exist before you accepted it. Another way to add value is to establish a better way of doing the job than the current method. Make it easier for someone to come behind you and learn it more quickly.

Talk and think about this job until you have mastered, focusing on where you are, not where you want to be until it is appropriate. Remember, this first job well done becomes your platform for the next step. You are probably thinking this is self-defeating and short-sighted. After all, you hear all the time to constantly focus on where you want to be. I disagree. Keeping your eyes and head on the job at hand and mastering it prepares you for the next step (or even steps).

You know I love golf, so think about it this way: The pros hit one golf shot at a time – each shot follows one after another. There is planning, certainly. And this planning affects the shot chosen. But once it is, everything else must be shut out, and the present shot becomes all important. Do you see how this applies to your job?

Get results where you are. Then look around to see what’s next. Your first job will be somewhat like learning to drive a car. You will have to concentrate very much on the mechanics at first. You won’t be looking at the view. As you become more proficient you can enjoy the experience of driving. But if you never master the mechanics, you will never become a masterful driver.

It is the same with a job. As you learn your way it becomes easier to do the job at hand and then experience the view of the terrain ahead. Also, you will be noticed as one who is capable and productive – a winning combination every time. Be cautious about talking about the next steps too early and too widely. If you get the reputation for always looking to get ahead it can be interpreted as selfish motivation, not participation in the progress of the business. It is hard to gather much support if you are viewed as only looking out for yourself.

Take each step seriously. And as the boy scouts are told, “Leave your campsite cleaner than you found it.” Prepare by learning everything you can in each position for you will undoubtedly find that those lessons are well-integrated into the next rung on the ladder.

This week think about: 1) Who in my circle of influence needs to be reminded of these ideas? 2) How am I doing at focusing where I am? 3) What encourages me to make a strong, workable career plan?

Words of Wisdom: “Remember, this first job well done becomes your platform for the next step.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people.” (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 11, 2017

Fred experienced all areas of business organization. As well, he served on boards of businesses and ministries which gave him a broad perspective. Continuing his counsel to the young college student, Fred talks about the issues of aligning with large corporations. These comments were written in 1976. The business environment has changed, but not surprisingly, many of the principles still apply.

Prayerful and financial support for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is greatly appreciated. We are preparing for the national conference in 2018, looking forward to helping students answer the “what’s next” question.

The Big Business Alternative

When young business majors push me for the “best way” to get ahead quickly, I usually suggest “go with a large, well-managed corporation for experience. After a few years of learning excellent systems, then go to a troubled, smaller corporation in a place of responsibility where your experience and knowledge can solve their problems. You will have the opportunity to be recognized and rewarded proportionately.” This is general advice and should be taken as such. I tell them they need to work out the “small print” on these plans, because there will be some.

Now a few words about national or international corporations. This is where the power is. Do you remember Willie Sutton the bank robber? He was asked, “Why do you rob banks?” His answer: “Because that is where the money is.” In the same way, going to a large corporation is going where the power is. If you want to be a big fish, get in a big pond. At least there you will have a fair shot.

An officer of a large corporation has power with many in difference categories: executives, employees, suppliers, politicians, and customers. The fringe benefits are not only financial; they are also personal. This is one of the great drivers for corporate executives. Frankly, I wouldn’t give a nickel for an executive who didn’t understand the use of power. It is necessary for action.

In a corporation, power divides into two types: Direct and Indirect. Direct is for the line executive and indirect for the staff. If you want the power to be the decision maker – the one to say yes or no -then you want direct power. If you want the power to influence decisions (and decision makers), then indirect power can be most satisfactory. Both carry much responsibility. Personally, I have always felt very responsible for influencing men in key positions. My management consulting business was built on the principles of seeing the operation, the talent, and analyzing where the “key log” was to bring solutions to problems. Even though I wield influence, the ultimate decisions and responsibility belong to the leaders.

Select the power you want. Along the way you will probably experience both. This will give you ample opportunities to see where your talents and natural drives lie. Always remember, though, the use of power is to facilitate action which will result in positive outcomes. Power held for personal gain only will create an unhealthy (and usually short-lived) environment. Choose where you can make the greatest contribution.

This week think about: 1) Where am I most effective? 2) How have my work experiences influenced my current situation? 3) Do I prefer direct or indirect power?

Words of Wisdom: “Frankly, I wouldn’t give a nickel for an executive who didn’t understand the use of power. It is necessary for action.”

Wisdom from the Word: “However, Ahikam son of Shaphan used his influence to keep Jeremiah from being handed over and executed by the people.” (Jeremiah 26:24 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 4, 2017

Fred enjoyed fireworks. He took the family out on the Ohio River to see the celebration from Coney Island. A too-short rope on a brand new anchor curtailed the entertainment. One quick throw and it was gone – anchor and 3 feet of rope unattached to the boat. Life is just like that sometimes. Happy July 4th to all.

(This week we continue the conversation with a college student who is considering various business alternatives. This one is an opportunity for entering a family business).

Business – Family Style

Let’s consider your going into a family business where you are not one of the family. It can be very comfortable, secure, and also very, very frustrating. If you choose to operate as “one of the family,” it can be pleasant. However, remember the advantages always go to family members first.

If the patriarch who built the business is still active, he generally plans for a son or close relative to carry on when he lets go – if he ever does. No one ever says he has to retire. A friend of mine grew very dissatisfied by working in a family business. Promises were made to him that he would be the next President when the founder retired. It didn’t happen. He spent years counting on that assumption. By the time a change and he wasn’t given the leadership, he was too old to go out and begin again. Consequently, he ended up very frustrated yet very competent.

Another challenge is the family member who is raised with privileges in the business which are not earned, but inherited. This creates an unfair, and certainly unequal, chance for promotions. The other threat is getting cross-wise with members of the extended family. This does not just apply to active members, but all those who feel “deserving” of a voice in decisions. And in-laws can create problems, as well.
I know I have sounded rather dire, but I want you to be realistic about these situations. Certainly, there are some excellent family-owned businesses which expand the leadership roles. These are very good places to work and grow.

A word: any promises or stock, equity positions, or leadership roles should be in writing. If you bring additional expertise which is not available within the family circle you can find a place to contribute and be rewarded. But be wise and protect yourself against the vagaries of family businesses.

This career path will take more patience than you expect. So, don’t go in without financial and emotional reserves. Do your research. Study the history, the board make-up, the mission statement, and the involvement of direct and indirect family members. Understand their expectations. And protect yourself against assumptions which can cause bad feelings and frustrations.

Think about: 1) What would I say to this college student about family businesses? 2) How could I counsel other young men and women about career choices? 3) How did I “find my path?”

Words of Wisdom: “But be wise and protect yourself against the vagaries of family business.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will walk in the way of integrity. When will you come to me? I will conduct my business with integrity in the midst of my palace.” (Psalm 101:2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 27, 2017

Fred studied business from an organizational viewpoint, focusing on principles. In counseling college students he discussed different types of business models, helping them to set their career course. This Weekly Thought shares his ideas on entrepreneurship.

Entrepreneurial Endeavors

Very few people can operate their own business, especially from scratch. I have great respect for those few who have taken a very small business and developed it into a sizeable organization.

Research shows less than 5% can be successfully self-employed. The early failures are usually attributed to undercapitalization. I think a better reason is “pilot error.” After all, why was the business started with inadequate funding? Usually wishful thinking and poor planning – what I call pilot error.

When I left a large corporation to form my own company I had planned and saved for 14 years. However, I found two very difficult problems facing me:

1) I was required to wear all the different hats necessary to get the total job completed. As a corporate officer I had a general knowledge of the entire operation, but had specialists to call on. In my own business I had to learn to do things I had formerly delegated. This changed my management style.

2) The second change was psychological. I was now using my own money whereas as a VP of a national corporation I was using (and diligently managing) their capital. Money became very personal. This is a shift many cannot make who have tried to move from corporate to self-owned. Many executives cannot accept this anxiety. They can invest corporate funds, but not their own. This results in nervousness and missed timing.

Often corporate executives say they want to be in business for themselves so they become their own boss. Poor reason. In fact, the customer is the boss of us all and we should never forget that.

I made several misjudgments early, but the biggest surprise was my lack of control of my time. The freedom I thought I would have as owner evaporates – the responsibilities for the business control your time. You can’t run a business like a hobby – particularly in the early years. It is a tyrant.

Naturally, there are some great advantages: you can accumulate more equity; you can design policies according to your philosophical bent; you make decisions without being questioned or sanctioned.

If you want to be in your own business, I suggest you start extremely small, and grow as you become properly capitalized and experienced. Keep your ego in check and don’t try to become too big too fast. I have seen it ruin many capable people.

If you have trouble making yourself work, stay out of your own business. A corporate friend asked me: “You own a business and a boat, how do you make yourself go to work?” It never dawned on me because business is the means by which I express my talent, not boating.

Think about: 1) How did I decide which form of business to enter? 2) Where do I express my gifts? 3) What is my dream job?

Words of Wisdom: “Business is where I express my gifts, not boating.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Warn them of the statutes and the laws, and make known to them the way in which they must walk and the work they must do.” (Exodus 18:20 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 13, 2017

Fred’s study of questions gave him an ability to spur conversations and to motivate others to action. A young man’s question: “Can I be a Christian and still be successful?” evoked a 39 page response from Fred. In typical fashion, he began the letter with a question: “Why do you want to get ahead?” This week’s thought is a short excerpt from his lengthy answer.

BWFLI is planning a conference for fall, 2018 bringing students together for an in-depth focus on mentoring, networking, and living out our faith. Please begin praying. Thank you.

Questions to Ask

As I seek to answer the questions you posed for me about being successful I keep asking myself “why does he want to get ahead?” Always remember: it is good to ask why before you ask how.

Behind every plan of action and every commitment of time and energy should be a solid philosophical base. So here is my question for you: “Why get ahead?” Climbing the mountain just because it is there isn’t a satisfactory reason. It is a platitude, but not an adequate motivation.

Do you want to get ahead because you have the unscratchable itch to win – to come in first – to have others look up to you – to gain respect? Do you want the things and positions money can buy? Believe me, it is unfortunate but true that in America position, prestige, and power can be bought.

Are you eager to get ahead to please your parents, impress your friends, or teachers? Do you feel God gives you talents and gifts for which you are responsible? (Think seriously about this one for it will have great bearing on the direction you take).

Your answers will have very little to do with how far you go. Are you surprised I say this? However, it will have a great deal to do with your mental and spiritual attitude as you go. Those closest to you will see, feel, and be affected most by this. Often when I am with friends who have become “successful” but unhappy, I feel they are living out the verse, “He gave them their desire, but sent leanness of soul.”

They are constantly irritated, never enjoying the fruits of success, and always moving on as if goaded by the spirit of their discontent. They are always coming to the truth, but never really finding the truth. There is no quiet center to their life; no eye of the storm in which they can lay down and sleep until the activity starts again. They have “quiet desperation” but long for “quiet adequacy.” They want a time of enjoying their options from their success.

Think about: 1) What makes me want to get ahead? 2) How clear am I on the gifts God has given me? 3) Who helps me keep my motivations worthy?

Words of Wisdom: “Always remember: it is better to ask why before asking how.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)