Flawed Thinking

Weekly Thought – August 5, 2014

Fred took a dim view of superstition, religious or secular. “There is magic in believing if you don’t believe in magic” was his pithy summary. He held to a God of process who didn’t arbitrarily operate within a manmade system of blessings and curses.

Thank you for praying for the BWF Project. Each week’s email is an excerpt from Fred’s writing and thinking designed to strengthen and encourage you in your daily living. Thank you for supporting us and sharing these thoughts with others.

Flawed Thinking

Have you ever met anyone who thought the good and bad in their lives was a direct result of their present relationship with God? This is superstition, not spirituality. They have a misunderstanding of grace and works. It is God who saves and sustains. We cannot jump high enough to impress God.

Many times immature believers think they control the outcomes of their lives by being “God’s pet.” They are surprised to find He doesn’t raised spoiled brats! They claim during good times God is blessing them, but during bad times they are being disciplined. This is more superstition than faith.

Often they take the next illogical, unbiblical step and believe an abundance of good works will break the chain of bad. This is not what Scripture teaches.

The laws of nature and life apply to us all. The last time I looked, the rain still falls on the just and the unjust. When we attribute our situations to God’s favor or disfavor, we view the solutions unrealistically.

We toss off, “God is blessing me” too flippantly. Rarely do I hear someone say this when undergoing financial, health, or relational difficulties. This shows an immature understanding of God’s working in our lives and in our world. We highly value comfort and convenience and praise God when we experience ease. God has a bigger, better plan that serves to bring Him glory. (more…)

Enemies of the Good

Weekly Thought – July 29, 2014

Fred’s gift of discernment enabled him to understand people. When analyzing situations, he said he “looked for the ego.” In writing on perseverance he identified an unhealthy ego and boredom as two enemies of endurance. He considered boredom unimaginable to the fertile mind.

In September, we will begin a year long Centennial Celebration culminating in a 100th birthday event in 2015, recognizing Fred’s anniversary. During the year we will focus on highlights of his life. Please share your “how Fred stretched me” thoughts with us.

Enemies of the Good

Where are we deriving our ego satisfaction? Where are we deriving our ego satisfaction? Do we seek gratification from others or practice dedication to the betterment of others?

It is key to understand ego is intrinsic to our human nature. We do not strive to empty ourselves, but we seek to have the proper perspective which leads to a healthy ego. Difficult times can war against us, leaving us wounded. Loss often detaches us from our healthy ego and makes us feel rootless. The challenge is to find a healthy alternative.

In tough times, we quickly identify our ego centers. Our child is involved in illegal activities, our spouse is jailed for fraudulent business practices, we lose our prestigious job and social standing, or a friend betrays us… we quickly must find the foundation of our true identity. (more…)

Down, but not Out

Weekly Thought – July 22, 2014

Fred spent over seven years on dialysis. One of the common side effects is depression. Cancer patients often experience “chemo brain.” Dialysis produces a similar fuzziness and susceptibility to blue days. Never one to deny reality, Fred acknowledged these down periods, but fought hard to discipline his thinking and manage his situation.

Please continue to pray for BWFLI as we establish the schedule for 2015. Thank you for supporting us as we “stretch and bless the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.” Thank you to those who have expressed interest in our multigenerational conversations. Further details will follow this fall.

Down, but not Out

Research shows a young man today is ten times more likely to be depressed than his father, and twenty times more than his grandfather. The artificial measures we put on our lives contribute greatly to this condition. Our faulty, “have it all” definition of success creates an atmosphere ripe for depression.

Our generation of materialism leads to degeneration.

The greatest defense against depression is gratitude – or so I have found. I once spoke to an audience with a severely disabled young man sitting on the front row. His attentiveness and response drew me to him. Afterwards he stayed to speak. When I asked about his physical condition he said, “Mr. Smith, I have a handicap; the handicap doesn’t have me.” (more…)

Overcoming, not Overwhelming

Weekly Thought – July 15, 2014

Fred believed we have much to learn from our enemies. He also believed we are known by not only the friends, but also our enemies. He also believed in external and internal opposition. “Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.”

Please pray for BWFLI as we establish the campus schedule for the next two years. We look forward to seeing where the Lord takes the teams of leading men and women.

Overcoming, not Overwhelming

Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan tells the story of Christian and his trek to the Celestial City. Along the way are the City of Delight and the Valley of Despair. He starts on his way, determined to persevere, but the enemies actively pursue him. Successful perseverance comes by overcoming the enemies cleverly disguised, and customized to fit each traveler and each situation.

Many of our obstacles may be external, but the most serious are generally internal. When I was a director of the S.H Kress Company, I visited the stores and asked the manager about his problems. If he described them as externally driven, I doubted his managerial capabilities. If he discussed the internal problems, I knew we had a manager with potential for progress. This manager defined situations he could do something about. Certainly, there were external threats, but most were out of his control.

Each step of the perseverance process comes back to building good mental disciplines. Fighting the enemies of endurance requires good habits. Start with a reflex, and then train it into a habit. Habits are our friends. (more…)

Think Right

Weekly Thought – July 8, 2014

Fred had a power phrase that became well-known in the 1950s… “there’s magic in believing if you don’t believe in magic.” He practiced PMA – positive mental attitude, but not before building a foundation on SMD – Strong mental discipline.

How many millennials do you know? Are you interested in helping the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute begin intergenerational conversations? Let us know by sending us a message on our Contact Us page.

Think Right

Some people say perseverance is what you do while you wait for the hearse; others say it is what you do while waiting for the bandwagon. I am a realist – I am not a sugary sweet Pollyanna. If you doubt this, just ask my family or some of the negotiators on the other side of the table. I have no mental category for escapism. But, I do know I can choose between positive and negative thoughts and behaviors.

The great reformer Martin Luther was known to battle depression. One morning his wife came down dressed in black, wearing a mourner’s veil. Her surprised husband asked, “Who is dead?” She somberly replied, “God, from the way you are acting.” He taught us about grace; she instructed him in gratitude. (more…)

Never Panic

Weekly Thought – July 1, 2014

Fred loved watermelon! After he went on dialysis he reduced his fluid intake dramatically. But summertime watermelons were his nemesis. A dear friend, Ed Yates, figured out how to make watermelon pie which delighted Fred. Ed once said, “Put enough whipped cream on anything and it tastes great.” Each July 4th Fred remembered his days of chicken and watermelon eating contests.

On this holiday week, we celebrate the freedom to practice our faith. At the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute, we gratefully acknowledge the privilege to connect with Christian colleges and universities.

Never Panic

Since childhood I have been interested in automobile racing. I am fascinated by the driver’s ability to hit the wall and yet steer his car through the traffic into the infield. He doesn’t quit unless he is unconscious. He fights to minimize the loss and avoid deadly pileups. Panic means giving in to the circumstances and giving up all control. The racer’s rule: keep as much control as possible.

We handle the urge to panic differently. 1) Some are hysterical; explode like a Roman candle, going all to pieces with their hands in the air, mouths wide open, and eyes tightly shut. 2) Others deny loss and assume the ostrich position. The downside of this stance: those who put their heads in the sand leave an awful lot of backside exposed. And, people love to kick it. 3) Fatalists placidly surrender to the circumstances, like my friend who convinced himself plane crashes come in threes. When one occurred, he waited for the next two before flying again. He created a fatalistic formula that controlled his life.

May I give you a word or two on fatalism? Sadly, there are those who believe you can’t get comfortable with good things because bad quickly and certainly follows. They see life as a set of scales which balance between triumph and tragedy. The illogical extension of this thinking is the warped view that God is poised in vindictive mode, poised for the scales to tip to the “gotcha” side. (more…)

The Benefit of Failure

Weekly Thought – June 24, 2014

Fred and Mary Alice were married 67 years. Their life together began on June 25, 1937. They rented a room from an older woman and lived there saving money and setting their course. They never lived beyond their means, always choosing to save half their income. Their family has grown to 3 adult children, 2 dear in-laws, 6 grandchildren, and 13 great grandchildren. We remember this marriage with gratitude.

Would you like to be part of a discussion group centered around Leading with Integrity? It would be a 4-5 week commitment using either teleconference or skype formats. If so, please contact us via the Breakfast With Fred group on Facebook, the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute page on Facebook or emailing brenda@breakfastwithfred.com

The Benefit of Failure

Every multi-millionaire I know has suffered failure. Mike Todd, the movie mogul, was once asked if he had ever been poor. “No, but I have been broke two or three times.” Broke was a temporary financial condition; poor was a mental condition. Most of America’s poverty cannot be solved by throwing money at it. We are distressed by poverty of the spirit, not just the pocketbook.

Financial reversals often impact self-image, and the desire to accomplish. In reflecting on my upbringing, the thought struck me – we didn’t know we were as poor as we were. Our family focused on the art of living, not the standard of living. (more…)

Day by Day

Weekly Thought – June 17, 2014

Fred read slowly and carefully. He carefully digested every line, writing notes in the margins of all his books. Fred perused books for key ideas often outlining them on the inside cover so reviews could be made without rereading. He believed reading, travel, and association were keys to personal and professional success.

Fred’s book Leading With Integrity is a practical approach to a critical topic. An attractive packet of Integrity Cards is now available for a gift of $10 or more to BWF. For more information, please contact Brenda@breakfastwithfred.com They make a great platform for individual or group study.

Day by Day

Life has thrown you a curve and you want to pull the covers over your head. Or maybe you go into a manic “futurism” exercise. The prospects of tomorrow hold much more appeal than the painful realities of today. Where does perseverance fit in?

One of the most interesting little books I repeatedly review is A Way of Life by Dr. William Osler. He admonishes us to live in “day-tight compartments.” This tiny volume is a talk delivered to the students at Yale. He addressed them as “fellow students:” to emphasize the life-long search for knowledge. He told them, “When I was attending the Montreal General Hospital, much worried as to the future, partly about the final examination, partly as to what I should afterwards, I picked up a volume of Carlyle and saw ;Our business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. It was the starting point of a habit that has enabled me to utilize to the full the simple talent entrusted to me.” Osler showed me today is my only day. (more…)

Time to Repot?

Weekly Thought – June 10, 2014

Fred once said he likes to think of his one-liners and visual descriptions as handles on ideas. Without a handle it is impossible to pass a hot pot from one place to another. He appreciated other thinkers who enabled others get their arms around helpful concepts. Peter Drucker influenced him greatly.

Thank you for supporting the legacy of Fred Smith, Sr. Your encouragement consistently brightens our hearts.

Time to Repot?

Peter Drucker’s power phrase, “repotting,” aptly describes the action of uprooting and continuing growth in another environment. It brilliantly captures the process of changing careers in the middle of life.

I am not a gardener, but Mary Alice loves to plan flowers. I noticed her moving a perfectly good plant from a perfectly good pot to a larger one. Ever curious, I asked her why she would spend the time and money to do that. “It has outgrown the old pot and needs more room for the roots to expand.” That is precisely what my friend Peter is saying.

When things are going great, we hesitate to change. But when things come to a standstill, it may be the best alternative. Your roots may need more room to grow.

Before repotting, take a personal inventory. Think about your gifts, talents, and satisfactions. Peter talks about young people who make the mistake of being driven by their craving for a luxury car, or a status lifestyle. They graduate, choosing whichever direction gives them the most money, the fastest. Taking this direction strictly for material gain will ultimately end in dissatisfaction. The lifestyle grabs and owns them. They hang on for dear life, heading down the wrong road at breakneck speed. (more…)

Direction Matters

Weekly Thought – June 3, 2014

Fred responded to questions about goal setting with the comment: “Direction is more critical than goals. They are the mileposts, but not the destination.” He often asked people, “Are you satisfied with the direction you are going?”

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute will be hosting conversations with millennials to uncover what they want and need from us. Over these last 10 campus visits in six years we have heard repeatedly, “We need to be with you all.” If you want to engage in these conversations, please let us know. Leave us a message on our Facebook page, email us at brenda@breakfastwithfred.com, or tweet.

Direction Matters

Perseverance in the wrong direction is as foolish as dedicated incompetence. It reminds me of the two men traveling down the road. One said, “Aren’t we going in the wrong direction?” “Yes, but we are making such good time, I hate to turn around,” was the response.

Troubled paths require the right direction. Life issues like a lot job, broken relationship, child with problems, a disease that forever changes the way we face the future all prove we need a strong mind, and a clear direction. They are essentials, not luxuries. But we need to accept direction may be one step at a time, not a bold stride. Forward movement in the proper direction is the goal.

When circumstances necessitate reevaluation, it is key to re-set goals in light of “current reality.” This is one of the crucial principles of my life. I always told our children to keep current on their facts. A map company uses the phrase, “Don’t drive today with yesterday’s map.” Current thinking protects us from “might have been” living. Fantasy and regret are stumbling block for perseverance. We endure and hold strong in the “what is.” (more…)

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