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  • Weekly Thoughts (Page 50)

Managing the Self

Weekly Thought – September 20, 2016

Fred spent many years in management consulting, and particularly labor negotiations. He had a fundamental principle: Follow the ego. He was not opposed to a healthy sense of self, but careful to understand what he called “Adamic sin.”

Thank you for supporting our work. Your gracious and generous help allows us to continue. We are entering a season of heavy expenses with two college events this Fall. Please pray and if possible, send a tax-deductible financial donation.

Managing the Self

I remember an embarrassing situation that occurred one night at a business meeting of high profile business executives. One man who read the business pages of the newspaper considered himself an authority on the international energy scene. He was popping off about the situation and his easy fix.

Unbeknownst to him, a man in the room just returned from chairing an international conference of major oil companies. After the first man finally completed his spouting off, the other man quietly offered his knowledgeable and experienced response which completely exposed the ignorance and foolishness of the other!

I quickly said to myself, “I hope that NEVER happens to me!” I left that meeting with strong resolve to make sure in my speaking and consulting I remember someone else in the room may always know more about a subject than I do. That meeting stays with me and serves as a monitor and governor on things I may have said.

On the other hand, speakers are too often overly impressed with dignitaries in the audience. One night I was in a church listening to a pastor. I noticed a well-known University President slip into the service. The immediate style change let me know the pastor noticed the man’s appearance as well. A sudden shift in delivery occurred. He altered his focus, as well as his message. He went from preaching to the congregation to offering an intellectual dissertation for the sole benefit of the academician. He forgot the rest of us!

Being impressed with ourselves or with the celebrity of another blocks the power of good communication. In our work and in our speech, we should always keep in mind God is listening and as the current best-selling book tells us “we have an audience of One.”

It is never far from my thinking that God is present. If He isn’t, we should dismiss early!

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I rein in my ego to serve me, not rule me? 2) What keeps my eyes on Jesus? 3) Where can I be a good audience for another?

Words of Wisdom: “It is never far from my thinking that God is present. If He isn’t, we should dismiss early!”

Wisdom from the Word: “You must not tremble in their presence, for the Lord your God, who is present among you, is a great and awesome God.” (Deuteronomy 7:21 NET Bible)

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Weekly Thought – September 13, 2016

Fred and Mary Alice were married for 67 years. A few weeks before her death, she reached her hand through the rails on her hospital bed to hold his. She leaned over and said, “You are a good looking boy!” The love lasted.

Loving and Living

Love creates an environment that strengthens the will to live. Love brings joy to our lives even when there is little to make us rejoice. We appreciate being loved so much that we sometimes forget the responsibility that comes with being loved. Those who love us want us to live, not die. We often talk about pursuing a life worth living, and I am convinced understanding the value of love is a tremendous part of that endeavor. Many tell me I am too strong-willed to die, but I believe the realization I can contribute and I am loved gives me purpose.

Doctors say that many old people who “die of natural causes” really die of loneliness. Current medical research shows we can literally die of broken hearts. Conversely, studies show people who receive care and prayer tend to live longer and richer lives than those who don’t.

Just as God’s greatest gift to us is His love, so our greatest gift to one another should be our love for others – and for Him. Love does not need to be earned; it is given. It should be freely received. And so, no matter how incapacitated we are, we can still experience being loved – and giving love.

Love is the strongest sustaining emotion we can feel. Acts of love are as important as words of love. One of my favorite times at the end of the day is when daughter Brenda comes in, pats me on the arm, kisses me on the forehead, and says, “I will see you in the morning,” When I was pronounced “dying,” by my doctors she said, “No, I will take him home and he will live.” That is exactly what happened. There is power in love.

Even though my bride of 67 years is now in heaven, I still celebrate Valentine’s Day – for her. When she died I realized she created a stronger magnetic draw toward heaven. I decided that when I die I don’t want my children and other family members to feel loss because they need me, but to know they love me. That is the best there is.

This week think about: 1) Who needs to hear “I love you” this week? 2) What makes me feel loved? 3) How sure am I that God loves me?

Words of Wisdom: “And so, no matter how incapacitated we are, we can still experience being loved – and giving love.”

Wisdom from the Word: “We love because he loved us first.” (1 John 4:19 NET Bible)

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The Art of Criticism

Weekly Thought – September 6, 2016

Fred differentiated between interest and curiosity – one he valued, the other he didn’t. He also had standards for criticism. The Smith children learned the value of “constructive criticism” as they grew up. They shocked Fred when they told him it wasn’t greatly appreciated. “But I knew you all wanted to improve so I felt it was my responsibility to point out the deficiencies.”

The Art of Criticism

Keep criticism positive. Recently I sat down and thought through the reasons for criticizing. I think most people would recognize themselves in my analysis. Three reasons were negative and one was positive.

1) Self-dissatisfaction: Sometimes we criticize we are just passing on a self-grudge. If before 10:00 in the morning I have been critical of everyone and everything I must stop and ask, “Fred, what are you mad at yourself about?” Generally, I have to stop, go make a phone call, and apologize for something. My environment won’t change until I stop being mad at myself and do what it takes to straighten it out.

2) Superiority: We criticize to show others our superior knowledge. How often do we find ourselves in a situation where someone throws out a really good idea and you go through these mental gymnastics: “Wow, that is a good idea, but if I am too enthusiastic I let him think he is smarter than I am.” So what do I do? I say, “Joe, that is a terrific idea, but…” Many “yes, buts” come from a desire to show superior knowledge.

3) Poor Performance: Much criticism comes from those who haven’t made the grade and want to “rain on somebody’s parade.” A bitter spirit often shows itself in critical remarks. I have found it necessary to neutralize work environments by removing those who become professional naysayers.

4) Improvement: A sincere desire to help others develop is a positive reason for criticism. Pointing out things others may not see in themselves promotes growth. It should be done quietly and kindly. It should be done in private. A rare exception is the heckler who shouts from the audience and needs “correction” publicly. This criticism should be disciplined to cover just the area in question with specific remarks which are made to build up and improve. The motivation of speaking to edify sets this reason apart from the others.

When you criticize positively, you are demonstrating emotional stability – a quality needed by every leader.

This week think about: 1) How do I accept criticism? 2) What triggers a critical attitude in me? 3) Where can I apply these ideas this week?

Words of Wisdom: “Many ‘yes, buts’ come from a desire to show superior knowledge.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The person who hears the reproof that leads to life is at home among the wise.” (Proverbs 15:31 NET Bible)

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Eagle Time


Weekly Thought – August 30, 2016

Fred‘s birthday was September 1, 1915. In his lifetime he experienced vast social, economic, and even spiritual changes in his world. He grew up with an intuitive sense of what it would take to grow personally and eventually, professionally. His belief in reading, travel, and association led him to interesting situations.

Eagle Time

I believe I am responsible for own personal development. Only I know who I want to become. Only I truly know my strengths and weaknesses; my talents and skills; my passions and desires. Only I know the price I am willing to pay to become who I want to be.

My personal development stands on four legs:

1) Mentoring – When I was young I heard the expression, “Birds of a feather flock together.” I knew from an early age I wanted to associate with individuals who would be my mentors and role models. As a young business man I defined six qualities I wanted in my life. Then I identified six individuals who personified each of these qualities. I reached out to them asking for an autographed picture. On my wall I hung the framed pictures in a square with Hoffman’s Head of Christ on the top and a mirror at the bottom. It became my measure of personal growth. I assessed how I was doing in the areas while looking in the mirror and reflecting on the head of Christ. This was the first step in my development.

2) Reading – I do prescription reading. Just as everyone doesn’t have the same eyeglass prescription, reading lists shouldn’t all be the same. We have separate needs and growth areas. I read no fiction and I focus on particular authors who think and write along the lines of my study. For example: Oswald Chambers, Francois Fenelon, Peter Drucker, and Frank Laubach. I also read chapters in books which are aimed at my major themes: philosophy, theology, leadership, and psychology. I have a natural affinity for those areas.

3) Writing – Until I started working for Maxey Jarman I was a totally verbal person. One day when I was telling him about a situation in one of our plants he said, “Write it, Fred.” When I explained I wasn’t a writer, he answered back: “The reason you can’t write it is you don’t really know it. Anything you really know you can write.” Later in life I found this quote from Sir Francis Bacon: “Writing makes an exact man.” I learned to write to burn the fuzz off my thinking.

4) Travel – It opens the windows of my experience and exposes me to different people, cultures, thinking, and environments. Growing up in the home of a pastor, we had few opportunities to travel. In fact, when Mary Alice and I married, my entire family went with us – all piled into our car.

Personal development is just that: a personal commitment with a personal price tag.

This week think about: 1) How committed am I to continual growth? 2) What allows me to be a lifelong learner? 3) Who is part of my development team?

Words of Wisdom: “I learned to burn the fuzz off my thinking.”

Wisdom from the Word: “My teaching will drop like the rain; my sayings will drip like the dew, as rain drops upon the grass, and showers upon new growth.” (Deuteronomy 32:2 NET Bible)

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Principal-Based Thinking

Weekly Thought – August 23, 2016

Fred’s reputation for principle-based thinking continues on as part of his living legacy. His gift for understanding the way things operate and people think gave him great opportunities for his unique contribution.

Please pray for our fall BWFLI schedule. Our teams are diligently preparing for Asbury University and Palm Beach Atlantic University. Peter McNally will be the chapel speaker at Asbury and Steve Brown will challenge the students at Palm Beach Atlantic University.

Principal-Based Thinking

While the book of Proverbs says “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” it does not give us a clear and succinct definition of wisdom. Personally, I think of it as the “knowledge and use of divine principles.” As Einstein said, “I want to think God’s thoughts after Him. To me, that is wisdom. Too many make the transition from data to information to knowledge, but fall short of the final step: wisdom.”

The understanding of divine principles is often conceptual and not always captured in chapter and verse. A fine example is the comment from my friend Ray Stedman: “My entire life changed when I realized God is for me.” This encapsulates the principle of God’s love for us.

The first step is acquiring knowledge. My good friend Jack Modesett, Jr. said, “My time at Princeton became enjoyable and profitable when I discovered learning was fun.” He has carried this attitude over into his Bible teaching where he thoroughly enjoys exploring the mysteries of God. Knowledge of God is exciting to Jack.

Another helpful principle: “God will not do for me what I can do for myself and He will not let you do what only He can do.” That is probably my paraphrase, but it has served me well. The Bible is replete with examples of taking the first step. He enables us, but also expects us to use the power He provides.

Oswald Chambers gave me a principle which serves me well during this season of disability. “God will not give you strength to overcome, but strength as you overcome.” Again, I am convinced God gives us the ability to take action. A friend called to ask how I was doing with my physical limitations. He bemoaned my handicaps. I put this principle into practice by responding: “I am not handicapped – I am delightfully dependent.”

What a treasury of wisdom we have in the saints who have gone before us. They point us toward God’s Word as the authority and the true source of wisdom. When we walk in obedience we understand the depth and reality of His divine principles. Fear is the beginning; obedience is the end.

This week think about: 1) Where do I need wisdom this week? 2) How can I grow in obedience? 3) What measures am I using to indicate wise decisions?

Words of Wisdom: “God won’t do for us what we can do for ourselves and He won’t let us do what only He can do.”

Wisdom from the Word: “God gave Solomon wisdom and very great discernment; the breadth of his understanding was as infinite as the sand on the seashore.” (1 Kings 4:29 NET Bible)

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A Leader’s Integrity

Weekly Thought – August 16, 2016

Fred finished his work on earth at 9:15am on August 17, 2007. He left a legacy of love, trust, and wisdom. He greatly appreciated Andre Crouch’s gospel song Through It All. As he completed his time here, his last words were “I’ve learned to trust in Jesus; I’ve learned to trust in God.”

A Leader’s Integrity

As I think about spiritual leadership, I am convinced the key is the Holy Spirit’s energizing and directing the leader’s uniqueness and giving him or her a vision that creates passion. I have never known a lazy or confused leader who was clearly passionate. Oat Willie of Austin, Texas, charged “Onward Through the Fog.” It works for cartoon characters, but fails miserably as a leadership mantra.

For years, I have been writing articles targeted to Christian leaders. I have spoken to groups, large and small. I realize that it is difficult to be a Christian leader in an almost totally secular society whose renewed interest in spirituality is non-biblical Christian leaders have lost much of the respect they once enjoyed.

Burnout is increasing. Depression is almost epidemic. Stress is increasing. Immorality and divorce are more prominent. Short tenure is too much the rule, rather than the exception. More and more preachers are faced with the demand to entertain and excite.
Could a major part of this problem be that leaders have lost their vital identification with the Lord? Have they become convinced they work for the church rather than for God? Are they surrendering their spiritual authority to the church board?

Some in Christian leadership are misplaced. Remember the farmer who read a “GP” in the clouds, immediately left the fields and headed for the pulpit? After miserably failing, the word came down from above, “Farmer Brown, “GP” meant go plow, not go preach! Now get to it!”

Leaders who are not endowed with gifts energized by the Spirit become easy prey to human methodology opening themselves to the temptations of power, prestige, and money. Christian leaders should always remember that theirs is a calling, not a career… that it’s all about stewardship, not ownership.

This week think about: 1) How am I encouraging my Christian leaders to grow in their calling? 2) What do I need this week to reignite the passion for my work? 3) Who should I be praying for in their leadership?

Wisdom from the Word: “Leaders who are not endowed with gifts energized by the Spirit become easy prey to human methodology, opening themselves to the temptations of power, prestige, and money.”

Wisdom from the Word: “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness.” (Titus 2:7 NET Bible)

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Pit Stops

Weekly Thought – August 9, 2016

Fred’s belief in rhythm was well-known to his friends. He eschewed the philosophy of “every day and every day I am getting better and better.” He held to the belief of seasons and periods which allowed for growth and assimilation. He called them plateaus.

Please continue praying for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute as the two fall events are coming in September and October. Gratitude is certainly felt for those who stand with us.

Pit Stops

Sound development requires a program that provides plateaus in which our information is turned into knowledge through experience and then another climb. Personal growth is not a series of nonstop climbs. Plateaus allow for assimilation before starting the next ascent. Each person has his or her own pattern and must become adept at reading their graph of climbs and plateaus. Those who try to go up too fast either run out of steam or poorly assimilate their experiences. They develop hollow spots.

All of life doesn’t evenly and systematically move through the pattern. From a distance, a graphed line may look like a consistent incline. However, when studied up close, the viewer sees it is a pattern, up, down, and flat places. The macro view often looks different from the micro experience.

We have natural divisions in our life, such as family, career, spirit, finances, emotions, friends, acquaintances, and physical health. A friend of mine who consults with executives on personal development likens these segments of life to subsidiaries of a corporation. Each one “reports” quarterly to the individual who monitors and supervises the performance of each.

I like to think of the divisions as interrelated but distinct in their focus. Clearly, each has its own particular life cycle of climbs and plateaus. Therefore, it is important to track all areas of our life and keep time tables charted for each. As we undertake this exercise, we can measure the condition of each division. I do not attempt to have each area in the same mode. Ideally, each has its season for climbs and plateaus. For example, when one is climbing in one’s career, energy and positive stress are redirected to that subsidiary. To strive with equal energy and focus to each of the other areas hoping for marked climbs is asking for burnout and poor production.

Understanding the syncopation of life’s development rhythm keeps us in sync with progress.

This week consider: 1) What are the major areas of focus for me? 2) Which area of my life is receiving the greatest attention toward climb mode right now? 3) How am I avoiding burnout?

Words of Wisdom: “To strive with equal energy and focus to each of our life areas, hoping for marked climbs in each is asking for burnout and poor production.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For he has spoken somewhere about the seventh day in this way: ‘And God rested on the seventh day from all his works.’”(Hebrews 4:4 NET Bible)

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Powered Up

Fred seriously considered the use of his time and energy, especially as his physical condition deteriorated. He carefully weighed each activity, measuring the “emotional output” each required. His wise use of time and resources enabled him to be productive to the very end of his life.

Powered Up

We are always warned by the electric company to avoid overloading the circuits. This is right, although I noticed that I have six plugs on one outlet, there is no potential danger because I only use one thing at a time. Each one alone doesn’t come close to maxing out the circuitry. We get in overload trouble by using more than one or two – that maxes it out.
The same thing happens in our lives. We get overloaded by having too many demanding involvements, emotional experiences, or commitments of time all at once. When we do so, we blow a fuse. It isn’t how many connections you have on a circuit; it is how much potential there is for an overload. Sometimes we can take on multiple activities so long as none of them requires too much or is plugged in simultaneously with too many other demands. When they compete for our energy current, we are in danger.

We draw different amounts of current depending on the emotional output require by any particular commitment. I used to speak to very large audiences, and it took practically no energy because the input was matched by the output. If there had been no positive input, such friendly reactions, laughs, agreements, interest, and so on from the audience, it would have take a great deal more output from me.

The power draw is not static. There are times when it takes much more energy to complete a task or go through an experience. I find my physical and spiritual condition greatly affect the flow. When I try to overreach in a weakened condition, I run out of energy more quickly. And when I am feeling the current strongly, I accomplish the tasks with less energy cost.

You must reach a balance where the amount that you give and the amount that you receive are equivalent – a zero sum game. We burn out when we are not sharing the energy load in the task, whether intellectual, emotional, physical, or spiritual. It is not the number of tasks, but the net energy required that determines the point of overload.

This week think about: 1) What draws power from me? 2) What gives me energy? 3) How do I measure the give and take in order to stay balanced?

Words of Wisdom: “It is not the number of tasks, but the net energy required that determines the point of overload.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now the Lord energized Elijah with power; he tucked his robe into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.” (1 Kings 18:46 NET Bible)

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Uncovering the Meaning

Weekly Thought – July 26, 2016

Fred’s ability to distill information into memorable wisdom bites. Most people who knew him quickly remember beneficial phrases. He called them “one-liners.” We now call them “Fred Saids.” This week’s thought features one of those well-known pithy statements: ritual versus reality.

Uncovering the Meaning

I recently had an interesting discussion about ritual versus reality, recognizing ritual was originally established to perpetuate reality. However, we humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away. Theologically, this may be a subtle attempt on our part to put ourselves in control of what is actually divine.

When we do this, we feel free to augment the ritual to please ourselves. This way we can make the ritual so elaborate that it becomes what we would want it to be if we were God… not bearing much resemblance to the sandals and seamless robe exemplified by Jesus.

Often I have asked husbands if they still kiss their wives as they leave for work. Almost indignantly, they will say “yes, of course.” I usually then ask them if they have ever considered the difference between the first kiss on the honeymoon, and the one they now give each morning. The first one was probably a pretty mushy one – even a double dip! The husband might have even thought about calling in sick! Now his wife gets a little peck as he hurries through the door on the way to the car. Occasionally, they may even miss, but at least they tried – and the ritual goes on, while the reality suffers.

Then we ask: “Should vacant ritual be discarded?” Not at all. We need, instead, to return the reality to the ritual.

When I was chairman of the Youth for Christ board I asked a young man why they were trying to destroy the traditions of the church with contemporary music and casual dress. He replied, “Mr. Smith, we are not trying to destroy the traditions of the faith, but we’re not willing to perpetuate them without the experience that created them.”

Excellent answer and well said. Let’s uncover the ritual to discover the reality.

This week think about: 1) What rituals have I bought into and lost the reality? 2) How can I bring more meaning to my daily activities? 3) When does status quo hinder fellowship?


Words of Wisdom: “We humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be careful not to allow anyone to captivate you through an empty, deceitful philosophy that is according to human traditions and the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:8 NET Bible)

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Heroes Help

Weekly Thought – July 19, 2016

Fred’s book You and Your Network outlined 8 categories which belong in your web of associations which form a healthy life. One of them is “heroes.” He frequently asked people about their heroes for he believed the answer gave him great insight. Fred once read that our heroes at age 10 strongly influence our adulthood.

Support for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is greatly appreciated. In these times of confusion and chaos the wisdom of older men and women in the lives of our Christian college students creates stability. Thank you for joining with us in prayer and financial aid.

Heroes Help

Thomas Carlyle said, “Society is founded on hero worship.” History is the story of the impact of great men and women. They shaped their times for good.

But occasionally we need to stop saying great things about our heroes and ask what they would say about us. They can become the verbs in our lives.

Heroes must survive for a long time as examples of trustworthy values, in season, and out. It is not just being a winner today that creates a hero. The apostle Paul deserves hero status. Conversely, I know of very few men who emulate Nero. Today we name our children Paul and our dogs Nero.

Generally, heroes are from the past in order to allow history to study their lives and make sure they stand up to the test of time. Excellent heroes can be said to “finish well.”

We should know how to make ourselves small by comparison to our heroes. By humbling ourselves in this positive, healthy, way we see ourselves in light of the values we inherit from our heroes and are able to honestly assess whether we’re progressing in virtue. It is this discipline that always inspires and makes room for growth.

In “A Psalm of Life,” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime and, departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time.” Our daughter, Brenda, knew how I enjoyed these lines. On my study wall is a framed board covered with sand and three small footprints – those of her children then ages one, three, and four. In her quiet, persuasive way she was reminding me my grandchildren’s footsteps are walking somewhat behind my own.

In 2004, my death was momentarily anticipated. In my hospital bed I prayed for my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, hoping they would see in me a man of faith. Today in 2006 I still pray to be a faithful model. Heroes don’t have to be famous – they only have to be heroic.

Whose footsteps are you following?

This week think about: 1) Who was my hero at age 10? 2) How do I look for heroes? 3) What heroic qualities am I hoping to instill in others?

Words of Wisdom: “Whose footsteps are you following?”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1 NET Bible)

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