Uncovering the Meaning

Weekly Thought – July 26, 2016

Fred’s ability to distill information into memorable wisdom bites. Most people who knew him quickly remember beneficial phrases. He called them “one-liners.” We now call them “Fred Saids.” This week’s thought features one of those well-known pithy statements: ritual versus reality.

Uncovering the Meaning

I recently had an interesting discussion about ritual versus reality, recognizing ritual was originally established to perpetuate reality. However, we humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away. Theologically, this may be a subtle attempt on our part to put ourselves in control of what is actually divine.

When we do this, we feel free to augment the ritual to please ourselves. This way we can make the ritual so elaborate that it becomes what we would want it to be if we were God… not bearing much resemblance to the sandals and seamless robe exemplified by Jesus.

Often I have asked husbands if they still kiss their wives as they leave for work. Almost indignantly, they will say “yes, of course.” I usually then ask them if they have ever considered the difference between the first kiss on the honeymoon, and the one they now give each morning. The first one was probably a pretty mushy one – even a double dip! The husband might have even thought about calling in sick! Now his wife gets a little peck as he hurries through the door on the way to the car. Occasionally, they may even miss, but at least they tried – and the ritual goes on, while the reality suffers.

Then we ask: “Should vacant ritual be discarded?” Not at all. We need, instead, to return the reality to the ritual.

When I was chairman of the Youth for Christ board I asked a young man why they were trying to destroy the traditions of the church with contemporary music and casual dress. He replied, “Mr. Smith, we are not trying to destroy the traditions of the faith, but we’re not willing to perpetuate them without the experience that created them.”

Excellent answer and well said. Let’s uncover the ritual to discover the reality.

This week think about: 1) What rituals have I bought into and lost the reality? 2) How can I bring more meaning to my daily activities? 3) When does status quo hinder fellowship?

Words of Wisdom: “We humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be careful not to allow anyone to captivate you through an empty, deceitful philosophy that is according to human traditions and the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:8 NET Bible)

Heroes Help

Weekly Thought – July 19, 2016

Fred’s book You and Your Network outlined 8 categories which belong in your web of associations which form a healthy life. One of them is “heroes.” He frequently asked people about their heroes for he believed the answer gave him great insight. Fred once read that our heroes at age 10 strongly influence our adulthood.

Support for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is greatly appreciated. In these times of confusion and chaos the wisdom of older men and women in the lives of our Christian college students creates stability. Thank you for joining with us in prayer and financial aid.

Heroes Help

Thomas Carlyle said, “Society is founded on hero worship.” History is the story of the impact of great men and women. They shaped their times for good.

But occasionally we need to stop saying great things about our heroes and ask what they would say about us. They can become the verbs in our lives.

Heroes must survive for a long time as examples of trustworthy values, in season, and out. It is not just being a winner today that creates a hero. The apostle Paul deserves hero status. Conversely, I know of very few men who emulate Nero. Today we name our children Paul and our dogs Nero.

Generally, heroes are from the past in order to allow history to study their lives and make sure they stand up to the test of time. Excellent heroes can be said to “finish well.”

We should know how to make ourselves small by comparison to our heroes. By humbling ourselves in this positive, healthy, way we see ourselves in light of the values we inherit from our heroes and are able to honestly assess whether we’re progressing in virtue. It is this discipline that always inspires and makes room for growth.

In “A Psalm of Life,” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime and, departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time.” Our daughter, Brenda, knew how I enjoyed these lines. On my study wall is a framed board covered with sand and three small footprints – those of her children then ages one, three, and four. In her quiet, persuasive way she was reminding me my grandchildren’s footsteps are walking somewhat behind my own.

In 2004, my death was momentarily anticipated. In my hospital bed I prayed for my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, hoping they would see in me a man of faith. Today in 2006 I still pray to be a faithful model. Heroes don’t have to be famous – they only have to be heroic.

Whose footsteps are you following?

This week think about: 1) Who was my hero at age 10? 2) How do I look for heroes? 3) What heroic qualities am I hoping to instill in others?

Words of Wisdom: “Whose footsteps are you following?”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1 NET Bible)

Powerful Triad

Weekly Thought – July 12, 2016

Fred appreciated William Barclay. He taught a very fine Sunday School lesson Barclay wrote. Fred’s love of principles allowed him to take the phrases and then apply current applications. His ability to see truth and create ways to pass it on energized him.

Continue praying for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute as the Fall events come quickly. Lift up Asbury University and Palm Beach Atlantic University – our teams, their faculty, staff, and students. We go in the name of Jesus and eagerly anticipate the work He gives us to do.

Powerful Triad

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our leisure, pleasure; in our study, wisdom; and in our love, loyalty.” Years ago while reading, I discovered William Barclay’s prayer. I was so impressed with the balance of life he described that I easily memorized it. Through the years I have repeated it to myself many times and twice I have taught it as a Sunday School lesson. The first time I only taught the four requests. Later, I realized I had missed the significance of the three opening words.

“Lord” – One of the major theological questions today is whether Christ can be Savior without being Lord. George Gallup did a survey among the “born again” and found that only 10 percent considered their faith in daily decision making. He wrote a book titled The Saints Among Us, indicating that 90 percent of us are nominal Christians.

“Grant” – This reminds us all good and perfect gifts come from above. We have no demands on God, only requests. Again, the Bible tells us we have nothing but what we have received of God.

“Us” – This reminds us Christianity is a community, a Body, a family. It is not just an individual experience. It is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself. It is like the redwood that grows in a cluster with all of the roots supporting the others.

Gert Behanna was born and raised in the old Waldorf Astoria amid amazing wealth. After spending much of her life wedded to a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, she became a Christian. When she prayed “Our Father” she realized she was a member of a family and gave much of her wealth to needy Christians whom she considered brothers and sisters.

“Lord, grant us…” A triad of infinite significance.

This week consider: 1) How can I apply that triad in my life this week? 2) What is God doing in me that shows me who He is? 3) Where am I plugged into the community of faith?

Words of Wisdom: “Again, the Bible tells us we have nothing but what we have received of God.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For who concedes you any superiority? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you received it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (1 Corinthians 4:7 NET Bible)

Protected By Love

Weekly Thought – July 5, 2016

Fred liked to quote C. S. Lewis’ definition of love: wanting the best for another. He recognized the sacrificial nature when making this decision. He used to say he wasn’t very “oooky gooky” (yes, believe it or not – he used those words) about feelings, but he was outstanding in showing love.

Please continue to pray for our Christian colleges and universities. They are under tremendous pressure to step away from foundational beliefs. Hold them up! And as BWFLI plans for the fall events, your prayer support is greatly appreciated.

Protected By Love

I served on a corporate board with a strong Christian lady who testified she grew up with friends who lived “on the wild side.” Her sister advised her to avoid dangerous behavior, fearing what her father would do to her. She responded, “I am not choosing against immorality because I’m afraid of what he will do to me. But I am choosing because of what it would do to him. I know he truly loves me.”

Another friend told how her mother died when she was a young child. Her relatives told her how much her mother regretted that she wouldn’t live to see her daughter grow up. They also told her that her mother lived in heaven and could see everything she did. Not wanting to disappoint her mother, this woman lived an almost exemplary life. She feared not living up to her mother’s love. Children who feel loved are less likely to get into serious trouble.

Couples living together without marriage will say, “It’s nobody’s business what two consenting adults do.” This might be true if no one else loved either one of them, but that is rarely the case. Such couples are not living up to the responsibility of being loved.

I once went to Europe with a nonbelieving business associate I respected to be a philanderer. But during the entire trip he only talked of his wife and their love for each other After attending a concert at La Scala, his only remark was, “I wish she were here.” His response to her love became his strength.

I have observed that those individuals who feel Christ’s love are eager to obey His commandments. In Scripture it says, “If you love me, you will obey my commandments.” It isn’t in obedience that we know Him but we observe His commandments because we know Him and His love. It is our joy.

This week think about: 1) What does being love mean to me? 2) How do I handle the responsibility of being loved? 3) Who needs to know I love them?

Words of Wisdom: “His response to her love became his strength.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this is the gospel message that you have heard from the beginning: that we should love one another.” (1 John 3:11 NET Bible)

The Real Thing

Weekly Thought – June 28, 2016

Fred appreciated his Father’s devotion to the Word and God’s people. During the depression out of work men would come to the back door of the parsonage asking for scraps of food or other handouts. Despite the fact my grandmother was struggling to feed the seven Smiths, Fred’s dad always found something to share – a grace gift. At this time when we celebrate our country’s freedom, let’s give thanks for our freedom in Christ.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is halfway through its 2016 schedule with two more schools in the fall. Please continue to lift up team members, Asbury University, and Palm Beach Atlantic University. God is on the move and BWFLI wants to be right there!

The Real Thing

Grace was genuine, real, personal and palpable to the great saints. Brother Lawrence, Frank Laubach, Francois Fenelon – these Christian mystics never doubted they were the constant recipients of God’s amazing grace. Grace was a practical part of their everyday lives.

For example, Brother Lawrence said that when he made a mistake, he didn’t spend any time thinking about it – he just confessed it, and moved on. Before I read that, I had been trapped by guilt – immediate grace was too good to be true, I thought. Brother Lawrence’s experience released me and set me free.

Nevertheless, legalism appeals to our common sense, and reasoning. I find it necessary to remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my guilt lets me know God’s grace. By refusing grace, we play God and discipline ourselves. We view events as punishments. We see correction coming when in reality, it isn’t correction at all – it is just a consequence. We too often try to read into our circumstances a sense of God’s judgment.

Why? Because we feel we deserve judgment rather than grace. Grace brings freedom. If only we could accept grace fully, then we, like Brother Lawrence, could have the freedom to admit failure and move on. Since grace cannot be deserved, why should I feel others are more worthy of it than I am? Or why should I feel they are less worthy?

Thinking we can be mature in Christ apart from grace is nothing more than fooling ourselves.

The Bible tells me we should not think too highly of ourselves, but it doesn’t advocate “worm thinking” either. We are objects of grace, and grace is a faith gift coming from and through the Father of light.

This week think about: 1) How full of grace am I? 2) What does it mean to me to be free in Christ? 3) What keeps me in bondage?

Words of Wisdom: “Thinking we can be mature in Christ apart from grace is nothing more than fooling ourselves.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is present, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3: 17 NET Bible)

Footprints

Weekly Thought – June 21, 2016

Fred’s legacy of wisdom continues through the influence of those he touched. One of his mentors Dr. Julian Gumperz died and was written up in the New York Times. The headline announced the passing of a man’s influence. Fred commented that the lifework and impact of Dr. Gumperz would live in him. A positive legacy is the true residual of a life well-lived.

Footprints

Lately I have been giving a great deal of thought to the difference between legacy and inheritance. It seems many of my friends are thinking about ways to leave money to their family members. Although this is admirable, I prefer to think about leaving a legacy. Legacy encompasses how to live and how to die- the passing on of one’s core values. My legacy will be my personal answer to the question: “What has been the theme of my life?”

While speaking in Las Vegas years ago I caught entertainer Ray Bolger’s act. I wanted to get the sense of who he was before I introduced him the next day at the conference. The limber-limbed dancer is best known for his role as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.
In his show he performed the signature steps of the dance greats who preceded him including Bill “Bojangles” Robinson, and Fred Astaire. His message was that they left something on the floor when they no longer danced. The close of the show was a sole spotlight focused on a stool in center stage. On it sat Bolger’s dance shoes, making the tacit expression that he, too, wanted to “leave it on the floor.”

We must carefully consider what legacy we are leaving. I am convinced inheritances often split families while legacies bond them. How many times have you seen families broken apart over money? The passing of the torch should not ignite a family fire.

It is crucial to think about the imprint we are making. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote about “leaving footprints on the sands of time.” Steve Green, the Christian musician, sings about the hope that “those who come behind us find us faithful.”

The mark we make is the rent we pay for the space we occupy on earth. Our legacy remains as long as our influence lives. It is our responsibility to make sure it is a good one. It is my hope to leave meaning more than money.

This week think about: 1) If I died today, what would be my legacy? 2) What steps am I taking today to build a legacy of meaning and faithfulness? 3) How can I communicate my life themes to others?

Words of Wisdom: “The passing of the torch should not ignite a family fire.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And entrust what you heard me say in the presence of many others as witnesses to faithful people who will be competent to teach others as well.” (2 Timothy 2:2 NET Bible)

Mind-full-ness

Weekly Thought – June 14, 2016

Fred and Mary Alice were married on June 25, 1937. Although they met in 7th grade English class, they didn’t date until they graduated from Hume Fogg High School in Nashville, TN. She worked at S.H. Kress at the candy counter. Fred saved up his money, bought a few pieces of sweets, stood and talked with her regularly. At age 21 they married. Until her death in 2004 they remained faithful and true.

BWFLI was an idea which developed from one event to over a dozen. Thanks for standing with us.

Mind-full-ness

I asked the Senior Vice President of a billion dollar oil company: “John, what do you know now that you wish you had known when you got out of school?”

Very quickly he responded, “Fred, I wish I had had the humility of an open mind.” Have you ever tried to talk with someone whose mind was tightly closed because they thought they had all the ideas of value?

A common denominator I have discovered among eager learners is that they are not far from a paper and pen (or the modern equivalent). Watch for this! Engage highly energetic, ambitious achievers in a stimulating conversation, and suddenly you will see them record an idea that has crossed their mind. Note-taking achievers can throw away their recorded ideas later if they don’t want them (and smart folks do evaluate and discard bad ideas). But, if they want to remember an idea and haven’t jotted it down, how can they recapture it? Howard Hendricks, distinguished professor at Dallas Theological Seminary has trained thousands of men and women to carry 3 x 5 cards with them to catch what Dr. Haddon Robinson calls “the big idea.”

An outstanding young man I recently met said this to me: “A leader is not the one who has the best ideas; a leader is the man or woman who uses the best ideas.” In order to do this, the leader must have an open, discerning mind. Of course, I am not talking about a sticky flycatcher that picks up everything passing by, but an astute ability to open up to ideas that are helpful.

I always keep in mind that what leaders know is not uppermost – I am primarily interested in what they are and how they think. That will determine how well they will use what they know and how they capture that which they don’t know. This is a critical element of good thinking.

A friend of mine who was an eminent scientist instructed me to “make friends with your ignorance. Wake up each morning realizing that there is so much more for you to know than you knew yesterday.”

This week think about: 1) When have I been too close minded to consider new ideas? 2) How can I think about opportunities for greatness? 3) What can I do this week to stretch my mind?

Words of Wisdom: “Engage highly energetic, ambitious achievers in a stimulating conversation, and suddenly you will see them record an idea that has crossed their mind.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will think about all you have done; I will reflect upon your deeds!” (Psalm 77:12 NET Bible)

Avoiding the Up and Down

Weekly Thought – June 7, 2016

Fred loved cars. He understood them and treated them with great care. It is not surprising, then, that he used them as an illustration of principles. One of his bucket list items was being “in the pit” at the Indy 500. While working as a consultant for Mobil he enjoyed fulfilling this wish and meeting Sam Hanks.

Thank you for your interest in our campus work. Keep praying for us. And sign up for the BWFLI Prayer Network as we lift up specific requests monthly.

Avoiding the Up and Down

So many people live their emotional life like a yo-yo, going from high to low and back again. A Sufi parable alleges that a powerful king challenged his wise men to create a ring for him that would bring stability to his reign. The sages put their heads together and came back with a gold ring engraved with the phrase, “This, too, shall pass.” We need to realize that this motto applies to all of us, as well. When our children were young, Mary Alice often repeated those words when some teenage trauma seemed to bring total disaster.

As we mature, we learn to lengthen our emotional wheelbase. We take the bumps with less jolting. I often tell people to think of themselves as a Rolls Royce limo, rather than a VW bug. When you go over the bumps almost simultaneously the jarring is far greater than having a period (however short) of recovery before hitting the bump again. Our grandchildren perfectly illustrate this. One minute they are smiling and the next they are crying when something doesn’t go their way. Soon that moment is forgotten and they are happy again. That is a bumpy ride for their parents.

This realization brings equilibrium to our life. I find pessimists extrapolate the bad too far into life and the hyper optimist extrapolates good too far. Time and opportunity change conditions, so that Smith’s maxim says, “Extrapolate objectively.”

Whatever our condition, we need to keep in focus what we are trying to accomplish. An aim without a target is worthless. Part of keeping focus is to keep the machinery well oiled. To me, this means developing a sense of humor. I see some people running around with excessive heat who are doing damage to the engine simply because they don’t have that little shot of oil which dissipates the heat. I am convinced there is no better lubricant for life than a sense of humor.

Yo-yos are good for children and for friends like Bunny Martin who as the Duncan World Champion traveled the world. But yo-yo lives are not productive for most adults. In fact, they make even the most sure-footed sea sick.

This week think about: 1) What situations put me behind the wheel of a very small car? 2) How am I practicing the art of extrapolating objectively? 3) How do I keep my sense of humor well oiled?

Words of Wisdom: “As we mature, we learn to lengthen our emotional wheelbase.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NET Bible)

Hear! Hear!

Weekly Thought – May 31, 2016

Fred’s interest in communication allowed him to develop friendships with other great communicators. Zig Ziglar once said, “Listen to what Fred Smith says about listening, communicating, and understanding. Apply his insights to your daily dealings and you will be amazed at the astounding transformation that takes place in the people you want to motivate to new levels of performance.”

We are approaching 100 men and women who have joined Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute teams on Christian campuses. This intergenerational ministry is built on listening in order to begin conversations and create connections.

Hear! Hear!

Every leader spends a good part of the day communicating with others. A great many books have been written on techniques of good communication, but the real problem is the spirit, not the method. Attitude is often the barrier. Almost any two people who want to can talk together. The emphasis on open lines of communication hides a deeper problem. Often people who are unable to communicate find that they are hindered by their desire to impress, not express.

Motivation largely depends on communications, and the difference between a poor team and a good one is generally selection and organization. The difference between a good team and a great one is motivation. Any organization with the ability to get to good can move to great with the proper motivation. And nothing motivates quite like effective communication.

Most leaders are adequate talkers, but inadequate listeners. The ability to listen creatively and positively depends on the leader’s ability to listen on four levels: 1) the meaning of the words, 2) the choice of words; 3) the sounds of the words, and 4) the sight of the words.

Most people listen negatively, which is simply keeping silent or reloading while the other is shooting. Positive listening guides the talker both in the giving of facts and a display of emotion that permit the listener to evaluate on more than a surface level.

Communication is mistakenly confused with agreement. I often hear people say that all problems would be solved if we really heard and understood each other. Not so! In fact, if we really understood what the other truly was saying, we might have increased disagreement. We talk around subjects in order to avoid points of disagreement. Hearing and understanding are critical to communication, but not synonymous with agreement and concord.

This week think about: 1) How good am I at listening? 2) What is my greatest communication strength? Weakness? 3) Who is a model for listening skills?

Words of Wisdom: “Often people who are unable to communicate find that they are hindered by their desire to impress, not express.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who gives an answer before he listens— that is his folly and his shame.” (Proverbs 18:13 NET Bible)

20/20 Vision

Weekly Thought – May 24, 2016

Fred enjoyed visionaries. He appreciated their ability to see a project then gather the right components to realize the idea. He considered many executives and entrepreneurs as friends. Their stories energized him.

20/20 Vision

David Rockefeller was once quoted as saying. “The number one function of the top executive is to establish the purpose of the organization.” Like the hub of the wheel, everything else grows out of this priority. Until the vision is established, trouble is ahead. Scripture says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” The New American Standard Bible focuses on the way they perish: “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained.” To be restrained, to be concentrated in purpose, is essential to accomplishment. That is why the leader must define the reason for the organization to exist.

A leader must personify the vision and be dedicated to it personally. As they seek to maintain the vision, leaders must keep in mind these essentials:

1) Define the vision specifically. Leaders disperse the fog.

2) Express it so that other people understand it. Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.

3) Get both organizational and personal acceptance of the vision. Nodding heads without knowing hearts keep the motors idling.

4) Repeat the purpose over and over. The Old Testament patriarchs set up stones of remembrance to remind the people of their story. My wife, Mary Alice, always sent the children out the door with these words: “Remember who you are, where you are from, and what you represent.” She kept their purpose and our vision “ever before them.”

When you have a clear vision, you view everything in its light. A vision is a filter and a grid through which all activity flows. You come to see the need for a vision broad enough that everything you do can be tired to it. The focused vision will both include and exclude.

Despite the work that it takes to craft an effective vision, it is a far better alternative to perishing.

This week think about: 1) To what am I most dedicated? 2) How clear is my vision for my work, my family? 3) Who best models vision for me?

Words of Wisdom: “A leader must personify the vision and be dedicated to it personally.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but the one who keeps the law, blessed is he!” (Proverbs 29:18 NET Bible)

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