Weekly Thought – March 18, 2014

Fred was asked the “secret” of his friendships with so many substantial and influential people, especially since he had no educational background or social pedigree that would create those natural alliances.  “I want nothing from them and they can trust me.”  He once said, “When I die years of confidences will go with me.” 

He valued the confidence of others, as well.  His faithful secretary Margie Keith listened to his thinking for hundreds of hours as she transcribed his tapes.  She never disclosed his thoughts.  Last month Margie died in Floyd, VA.  She will be missed and her contribution to our ongoing work can never be overestimated.  Please remember her sister Wilma Reed who faithfully cared for her.

Keeping Confidences

Strong friendships involve confidences.  The giving and receiving of them is the true test of the relationship.  They grow in proportion to the confidences which we share with one another.  This demonstrates trust.  Therefore, true friendships grow slowly.

Within each of us is the desire to be known, but each of us does not have the same ability or willingness.  Often it is easier to know others than to be known by others.  When I say “know” I mean a deep understanding.  Often it is easy to create temporary relationships which look like trusting and knowing, but are actually just passing by.  It is easy to feign attachment.

One of the key elements of sharing confidences is knowing how strongly someone feels about the subject being shared.    There are times when something is publicly shared without malice, but just out of misunderstanding the depth and seriousness of the confidence.  Friendships can be jeopardized or even ended by careless exposure.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – March 11, 2014

Fred thoroughly understood the paradox of being both wise and gentle.  He valued friendships and carefully considered what it meant to make and keep friendships.  He wrote a great deal about the nature of business and personal relationships, offering clear thinking and challenge.

Thank you for your encouraging emails.  Fred constantly asked the Lord to make him useful  – we continue to ask the same.  Our goal is to be helpful by bringing you Fred’s thinking.

Interested, but not Curious

The deep, sincere interest in each other as friends does not include curiosity. Personally, I am “turned off” by those who exhibit idle curiosity about me.  Interested-yes; curious-no.

Often people confuse interest in people with curiosity about people.  The tabloid culture fosters endless curiosity which has no limits – not even boundaries of common courtesy.  The desire to know more and more is morbid and indecent.  On the other hand, interest has a positive, helpful, outgoing connotation.

Curiosity is self-centered and self-serving.  It scratches an itch that is strictly for selfish satisfaction.  It has nothing to do with the serving the good of another.  Celebrity chasers don’t think about higher aims for they just want to “get the story.”

Interest is founded on the desire to do good, be helpful, participate in growth, and stretch others.  It is part of the process of finding ways to serve.  These motivations are 180 degrees apart.     (more…)