Weekly Thought – January 14, 2025

Fred held a principle firmly in his personal and professional life. In his book, Leading with Integrity wrote:” Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity. Fortunately, our character can be strong without being perfect.”

Measuring Character

Leaders are measured by their public and private character. Before creating an association or hiring I consider three points:

1) Personality affects the way we react to pressure and desires: the introvert must be drawn out to discover the response while most extroverts must be reined in by themselves or others;
2) Testing the strengths and weaknesses prevents surprise: Knowing others allows the leader to develop strengths and bolster weaknesses.
3) Past history is a predictor of the future: Asking co-workers, family, and friends can be enlightening. Often, they know our character better than they know our talents.

I keep three principles in mind when I evaluate my own character:

1) Find a trusted and valued objective resource: Biblical truth is a valuable yard stick for me.
2) Check for purity of purpose and transparency: An aide to General Robert E. Lee always closed his letters with YTCO which stood for “Yours To Count On.” These words are an indication of strong character.
3) Tongue control, ego management, obedience, and confession are all aspects of a strong character. For me, a healthy character is a sign of emotional maturity which is my goal.

Character strengthens under pressure, suffering, loss, tribulation, and failures. The mind gains experiences and the heart grows convictions. Character is the element that makes us stand when we want to run, to live when it seems easier to die, and enables us to fight for the right – even in a losing cause.

This week carefully consider: 1) What principles do I use in assessing character in others, and in myself? 2) Who is a model of good character for me? 3) When do I have to depend on my own principles to avoid making bad decisions?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “An honorable man makes honorable plans; honorable character gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought- October 22, 2024

Fred valued his reputation as a man of integrity. Offers of financial gain, elevated status, and public acclaim were made during his life. He held to his credo – his statement of belief which he developed as a young man. He avoided traps by knowing the Rock upon which his life was built.

Integrity in Motive

Integrity starts with motive. I can’t ever be totally honest for I have a sin nature. But I can avoid being dishonest. Dishonesty is a decision.

Rationalization does more to pollute our integrity of motive than any other psychological tool. It attempts to excuse our lack of integrity. We repeatedly hear, “Everyone else is doing it.” Or, how many times do we hear “Times have changed – this is what works today.” Too often we hear “I had no choice if I wanted to win.” One of the saddest is, “I had to go along with the majority even though I knew they weren’t right.”

The argument that choosing even a wrong path which will ultimately produce good is a lie which is too often accepted. “The end justifies the means” is attributed to Machiavelli, the political theorist. In God’s economy this philosophy fails. He doesn’t support this thinking. He doesn’t find shortcuts which lead to a win. He is sovereign and the plan is His. He wants our motives to be reflections of His righteousness.

Our maturity in Christ is the goal. Picking the easy way, even when it opens the door to shady choices is counter productive. When our children were young Mary Alice and I reminded them “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

There is a process to rationalization. First, we convince ourselves that winning, succeeding, achieving, or even growing an organization may require a few steps off the straight and narrow, but the end result will benefit so many the decision makes sense. The next phase is convincing others of the plan, bringing them into the “in the end it will be the best” strategy. Finally, the Christian attempts to convince God of the choice. When the outcome is seen to be seriously flawed, the conversation with God changes confession into explanation.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I evaluate my motives in making key decisions? 2) Who is my strong ally who speaks truth to me? 3) What red flags do I have established as measures of my motives?

Words of Wisdom: “He wants our motives to be reflections of His righteousness.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who conducts himself in integrity will live securely, but the one who behaves perversely will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 15, 2024

Fred wrote a book titled Leading With Integrity. It was a relevant topic in 1999 and even more so in 2024. Its audience was the pastoral community, but the ideas apply to all leadership. This week’s piece is excerpted from his introduction. His thoughts remind us of his words, “Principles never change – just the illustrations.”

Leading With Integrity

In a real sense leadership in industry is different from leadership in Christ’s church. Writer M. Scott Peck once asked me, “Why don’t you businessmen take over the church?” “Because we can’t lead a spiritual church successfully,” I said. “Secular principles that are not anointed by the Holy Spirit are not applicable to the church. In fact, they can pollute it by bypassing the Spirit.”

Some principles can be transferred when they are spiritually ordained, and over the years I have been associated with some fine leaders in industry as well as in Christian work. This book, however, grew out of my sense that today in the institutional church we’ve become almost too dependent on human leadership principles. We know a great deal about effective organization through extensive research.

My concern is that in the church we may be trying to do God’s work in man’s way.

If we are to do God’s work in God’s way we must start with character. Christian leaders must examine themselves, so that with the apostle Paul they can say, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”

Unfortunately, we are not as conscious of our character flaws as we perceive lacks in areas of knowledge, skill, and experience. In my sixty years in business nobody has said, “ I have a flawed character.” It is much easier to admit a training or skill deficiency than to admit a character weakness. Yet, from 75 to 80 percent of the failures I have seen are rooted in a failed character.

The church must be involved in character building, helping men and women grow into the maturity of Christ. Leaders are responsible for modeling an encouraging character and integrity.

I was interviewing a prospective corporate president and at the end of the interview I asked him, “What’s your ultimate aim?” He grew quiet. I sensed he was deciding to tell me the truth. “My ultimate aim,” he said, “is that when I face the Lord, he will say, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.” There is no finer aim.

Growing in the reality of the Christ-life and being awakened to the truth of Christlikeness in us is a worthy aim.

This week think about: 1) How would I answer Fred’s question about my ultimate aim? 2) What do I do to make sure I am not “doing God’s work in man’s way?” 3) When have I experienced a character failure?

Words of Wisdom: “If we are to do God’s work in God’s way we must start with character.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.” (Psalm 26:1 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 25, 2024

Fred and Mary Alice were married 67 years on June 25th 2004. He was in rehab and unable to celebrate with her. The family gathered in the facility’s dining room and shared a full to-go dinner from Lawry’s, their favorite place to share anniversaries. The Smith family’s byword was “Be A Blessing.” They, indeed, modeled that for all who knew them.

Something Good Today

Let me tell you one of my favorite stories.

Several years ago I had a major operation at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. Mary Alice felt sorry for the doctors and hospital staff because she knew what an executive I was… translated: “how things should be run.” She knew I would quiz the doctors about their qualifications (with respect and charm) as thoroughly as possible. For example, I found out the surgeon was returning from vacation. I asked him to make me his second surgery of the day. I wanted him to get his hand back in the swing of things before he met me. He actually complied.

Then my wife knew I would put my management eye on the hospital, asking why they did what they did and arranged things as they did, hoping to offer some improvement. As I sat in the waiting room I was called to the desk. “Please put all your valuables into this lock box.” I did and then realized my ego was actually the most valuable thing I had. Right then I decided to put it in the box, as well. I would be totally submissive and cooperative. I found the joy of community rather than the responsibility of being a management consultant. I put aside the pressure of establishing the pecking order and focused on the similarities in people, not the differences.

Late one night (or probably early one morning) one of the nurses came in and said, “Mr. Smith, I am coming to ask something of you I have never asked of another patient in my life.” I nodded agreement and she continued. “We have a young woman who is dying. She doesn’t have one flower in her room. You have nineteen arrangements and I was wondering if you would give one to her? She is all alone.”

I pointed to a magnificent arrangement made up of exotic flowers flown in from Hawaii sent to me by the Elliott Sunday School Class of Highland Park Presbyterian Church in Dallas. In the center stood aj beautiful bird of paradise. I suggested that she take that one.

About thirty minutes later the nurse came back in choked with emotion and started walking around the room. She came to the foot of my bed, squeezed my big toe, and walked out without a word. I knew she was saying, “Tonight we did something good.” I will always remember that feeling.

Sometimes when I am not sleeping at night, I wish the Lord would squeeze my toe and say, “We did good today.” Being a blessing should be our heart’s desire. After all, isn’t it said about Jesus that He “went about doing good?”

This week carefully consider: 1) When have I had my “toe squeezed?”2) How can I go about doing good? 3) Who models a life that blesses others for me?

Words of Wisdom: “I realized my ego was actually my most valued possession.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He went around doing good.” (Acts 10:38(b) NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – February 6, 2024

Fred and Mary Alice enjoyed owning a condo in the Padre Island area for ten years. She loved walking the beach and collecting shells. He appreciated watching and writing down his observations.

Lessons from the Beach

I once went to our beach condo during Spring Break – not by intention! Have you ever been sober among the drunk? Old among the young? Outsider among the insiders? Fully clothed among the….well, you get the idea! It seemed to me the kids wanted three things:

1) Fun – it appeared the fun must always be eluding them because they were frantically looking for it. Fun is a phantom. Their laughter was hollow. They were loud, profane, and destructive Judging by the trash on the beach, fun is expensive. This search for fun was the definition of hedonism.

2) Irresponsibility – the essence of their irresponsibility could be summarized by three words: drunk, nude, and drugged. Signs encouraging women to “get naked” were plastered everywhere. I don’t have any experience with the drug culture, but judging by their behavior I had to believe they were “spaced out.”

3) Anonymity -The group provided a way to blend into a social mass, but it became more of a social mess. Behavior which would have been unthinkable alone gained acceptance with the mob mentality. I walked into our condo lobby as the police were interviewing four males who had raped a female. Not one of them carried any ID – they weren’t individuals for they were just part of the amorphous spring break culture. Spring break would end and the students would return to school with tales of beach conquests. These males, instead, may find themselves in jail and the female would leave scarred for life. They had chosen anonymity, but in so doing, had given up much of their unique identities.

We don’t automatically grow out of the search for fun, irresponsibility, and anonymity. Someone asked me, “what would it take to reach maturity?” For these beach goers they would have to 1) turn fun into joy; 2) exchange irresponsibility for accountability; 3) exchange anonymity for understanding identity and the outcome of having our name written in the book of life.

The danger of the beach week is not so much the three or four days of binge, but it is the danger of thinking the sinful appetite can be satisfied. It can be much more – it is a fire which constantly changes its appearance. What can be beach week turns into adult patterns with the same principles. I have known adults who never outlive the beach but disguise the search in more “adult” expressions. It can be greed, hunger for power, or desire for status. No matter what they try, the fire isn’t extinguished.

This week carefully consider: 1) What have I done to eliminate any Spring Break thinking? 2) How can I help younger ones understand the long term consequences of a lost week? 3) When do I see colleagues falling into immature thinking?

Words of Wisdom: “We don’t automatically grow out of the search for fun, irresponsibility, and anonymity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The wise person accepts instructions, but the one who speaks foolishness will come to ruin.” (Proverbs 10:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 4, 2023

Fred took responsibility for his decisions – he refused to point fingers. He firmly believed taking ownership is a key element of maturity. He shared the platform with Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled. He told Fred transference is now a national sin. This week we share a few of Fred’s thoughts about blaming someone else.

Not My Fault!

My young grandson was sitting on the floor, mumbling, when his mother walked by. She listened for a minute then asked, “Jeff, what are you doing?” “Practicing for when the girls blame me.” The blame game is learned early.

Many psychological theorists tell us all our problems are the responsibility of failed parentage. All of our weaknesses belong at the feet of our mothers and fathers – “not our fault.” The Chaplain at Yale once responded when a student told him his problems were the result of his parents, “How far back?” I wish I could think that well. If “our parents” are at fault, we can push the problem all the way back to Adam and Eve.

Harry Truman’s famous sign on his desk refuted the attitude of transference: “The Buck Stops Here.” Too many are being trained to expect another’s handling of our bad decisions. Government entitlements generate irresponsibility. In 1940 Benjamin Elijah Mays became President of Morehouse College. He defined “the Morehouse Man.” The core values are self-disciplines, self-confidence, self-confidence, and strength. He crafted the credo for the school: “Whatever you do in this hostile world, be the best.” Taking responsibility and becoming a man of character was the goal.

It is still a hostile world, and will always be, but the man or woman of purpose will refuse to pass the buck. Transferring responsibility or blame is a sign of immaturity. Healthy growth does not include this unhealthy habit. Whether it is relational, vocational, or even spiritual, we can transfer our problems to spouses, organizations, or even God. How often do we see TV commercials which encourage us to blame “the times, the society, the culture” for eating too much, working too hard, sleeping too little? The finger of Madison Avenue always points away from us.

I heard Mary Alice telling one of the children, “Remember, when you point your finger at somebody else there are four fingers pointing back at you!” She put it in language they could understand.

The man or woman of character accepts responsibility in every situation. It is a discipline for our nature fights against us. We have the capacity to create new habits and new automatic responses, but it takes time and hard work. It is worth it!

This week think about: 1) How readily do I accept responsibility for my decisions? 2) What can I do to help others mature? 3) When am I most tempted to play the blame game?

Words of Wisdom: “It is still a hostile world, and will always be, but the man or woman of purpose will refuse to pass the buck.”

Wisdom from the Word: “An honorable man makes honorable plans; his honorable character gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 12, 2022

Fred’s sense of humor oiled the gears of life. He appreciated the lubricating value of laughter. He also appreciated the use of motivation and inspiration. His dear friend Zig Ziglar was the preeminent influencer for generations of men and women. In this excerpt from a commencement address at Belmont University he challenges the graduates to maintain a high level of self-motivation.

Internal Energy

Motivation is certainly tantamount, if not paramount, to education. Education may be the vehicle, but motivation (and self-discipline) is the driving fuel. Most people who fail do so because they lacked superior fuel, more than a superior vehicle.
May I suggest a few thoughts on self-motivation?

1) Access your strengths – In spite of the current popularity of “overcoming weaknesses.” I am convinced no one will get very far in life spending time trying to strengthen weaknesses, rather than identifying and focusing on strengths.

2) Discipline your associations – accept the challenge to associate with champions. Owning the biggest house in a neighborhood of modest ones or being the largest fish in a very small pond are two examples of setting the bar too low. Think about your associations. Are you the most able in your group or are you constantly learning from those around you? Always strive to be the smallest frog – you will grow by this challenge.

3) Recognize definite goals – The Apostle Paul said, “This one thing I do.” To many of us are like the steam pipe with a series of drilled holes. We have steam, but it is being blown off in too many different directions. We are intrigued with all the opportunities we forget we can only master a limited number of activities in this lifetime. This demands the discipline of choice. In this graduating class there will be a few who find they do not have a goal, but the goal has them. They dedicate themselves to its end. A study of great men and women usually expose a “magnificent obsession.”

4) Understand the cost – if you motivate yourself either by discipline or dedication you will find there are genuine prices to pay. Probably the biggest price will be loneliness. You cannot be a leader and avoid it. Out in front you will encounter tough decisions. Often you will have to keep your own counsel and exchange the warmth of belonging for the loneliness of leadership. Another cost is tension. You cannot have the functionality of a spring without tension. You cannot have the placidity of a mule and reap the winnings of a race horse. In my study of leaders, I always find the intensity of success. May I emphasize this isn’t being a hard worker -they are intense. There is a great difference. Tension is not to be feared; but to be managed.

5) Accept the reward – In reading the biographies of the twelve outstanding men of science and business I saw that almost every individual mentioned the reward as the joy of accomplishment. I am sure if I turned around and interviewed these leaders on this platform they would echo this same sentiment. And I am sure up and down these aisles are seated men and women who share the same goal of accomplishment.

6) Correctly define success – my personal definition: success is the ratio of talents used to talents received. Developing the discipline of self-motivation is a critical element in a successful life.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I define success? 2) What would I say to a graduating class? 3) Which areas of my life demonstrate the greatest self-motivation?

Words of Wisdom: “You cannot have the placidity of a mule and expect the winnings of a race horse?”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people.” (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – January 11, 2022

Fred served as a mentor to many young men he met during Religious Emphasis Weeks on Southern Baptist college campuses. These men created lifelong friendships with mutual benefit. As they grew Fred enjoyed experiencing their maturity. One of them was Howard Butt, businessman, philanthropist, and Christian evangelist. Howard encouraged Christians to be “fruit inspectors,” not judges of others. In this role he looked for fruit of the Spirit leaving the judging of salvation to God.

Fruit Inspectors

Intolerance has become society’s unforgivable sin. Tolerance is attractive to our society because it is permissive. It is pleasant because it doesn’t require hard thinking. It is non-confrontational. Our society has lost the willingness to confront error in search of truth. We have created a virtue out of weakness and bought into sin. As usual, sin gives the benefit first, and extracts the price later.

I am convinced the way in which society now practices tolerance is a manufactured value that, when practiced to excess, will ultimately prove harmful. This doesn’t mean we are called to be judges of others. Oswald Chambers tells us that we are not to see the wrong in others in order that we might criticize them, but that we might intercede for them.

When we accept tolerance as our rule, we deny discernment as a spiritual value and gift. Discernment is not given to us so we can criticize but so we can coach; it is not given to us to point out weakness, but to help build up strength and avoid error.
Howard Butt, Jr. founder of Laity Lodge and a lay minister, preached a great sermon in his early years, proclaiming Christians to be fruit inspectors rather than judges. We are told in scripture “By their fruit you will know them.” It is one thing to recognize fruit and a totally different thing to be a judge. Fruit inspection is our job; judging is God’s.

Our fruit inspection must always be according to the principles of Scripture. It is the authority under which both we and the person observed exist. When a man or woman holds up the Bible and says, “Thus says the Lord,” it is not pronouncing personal judgment, but God’s. When any of us do this we are the reporter, not the author.

Another reason for fruit inspection is that in seeing sin in others we see our own and seek correction. We are called to discernment, not tolerance. We are to lead with an attitude of self-assessment while examining the quality of fruit. Maturity leads us to a clearer understanding of the subtle differences in our attitudes. But tolerance is not an option for mature Christians.

This week think about: 1) How uncomfortable am I with Biblically based intolerance? 2) What standard am I using for fruit inspection in others and myself? 3) Who models discernment for me?

Words of Wisdom: “When a man or woman holds up the Bible and says, ‘Thus says the Lord,’ it is not pronouncing personal judgment, but God’s… we are the reporter, not the author.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So that you may live worthily of the Lord and please him in all respects – bearing fruit in every good deed, growing in the knowledge of God,” (Colossians 1:10 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 5, 2021

Fred told the truth. His upbringing in the home of a Southern Baptist blacksmith with massive hands and arms turned preacher may have had something to do with this. He valued truth and questioned to uncover the real story many times. “Staying current and facing the facts” were bywords. Denial made little sense to him and was definitely not part of his operating system.

Denial as the Default

The theme song for many goes, “say it isn’t so.” Saying it isn’t so is not making it not so. Yet so often we deny our problems and actually accept denial as one of the ways to solve them. How many times have you heard “leave it alone – it will go away.” I even knew an otherwise bright executive who consciously ignored such things as oil leaking from his car for, he said, “it will probably correct itself.” By denying the problem he delayed the solution – and also increased the damage.

Delay is a form of denial. Once a young man with an exceptional education and family connections asked me to lunch to discuss his business future. When I asked what he had been doing he said “I am looking for the right opportunity.” I thought a shock would be helpful so I told him “you have a great deal of potential n- in fact, you have all you have ever had for certainly you have used none of it.” Later on, one of his peers described him to me as a “Rolls Royce with a loose steering gear.” This sounds unkind, but he could be helped mightily by having his denial by delay pointed out clearly.

Some intellectual problems are handled by denial. Once I was talking with a well-known talk show host recognized for his intellectual, but liberal worldview. When I asked him if he believed in “original sin” he replied, “That would be an awful thought.” Can we escape a fact by calling it an idea, a concept, a viewpoint? Trying to escape the reality we want to deny is a fool’s errand.

Every day we consider ways to avoid the truth. For example, diplomacy is one way we delay and deny our political problems. With cosmetics we deny the aging process. Even in death we dress up the corpse to evoke the response, “doesn’t he/she look wonderful?” Even our vocabulary teaches us about denial. When installment credit plans were developed they were dubbed “convenience purchasing,” not debt. Often, we substitute the word progress for change, even when it is going in a downward direction. Euphemisms become the socially acceptable way of addressing negative events. We shield ourselves from unpleasant facts by giving them new names or definitions.

We are often tempted to deny relational problems. Therapists tell us of refuge in silent denial prominent in troubled homes. Lack of verbal communication supposedly covers the fact of a family breakdown. The ache of losing a child is sometimes covered by building a shrine in the child’s room, pretending death did not occur.
Kubler-Ross says the second step in grief recovery is denial. It is all right to let people deny for a short time, because rushing them into objective examination without gaining equilibrium is unhealthy. But remaining in denial doesn’t result in emotional health, either.

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, “Denial is not a river in Egypt.” It is a place to move through on the way to health and maturity when grieving. It is a poor choice for living if we build it into our operating system.

This week think about: 1) When am I most tempted to deny or delay? 2) Where have I short circuited my growth by not facing facts? 3) Who is a good truth teller for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Delay is a form of denial.”

Wisdom from the Word: “What should we do with these men? For it is plain to all who live in Jerusalem that a notable miraculous sign has come about through them, and we cannot deny it.” (Acts 4:16 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 7, 2021

Fred regarded emotional control and civility highly. He valued maturity in society. As an analytical, he considered the strategies for right thinking a necessary element for all leaders.

Right Thinking

Our society has become so obsessed with winning that we have exchanged honest competition for a philosophy of life – making winning synonymous with winning and losing the effective definition of wrong. In the “win at all costs” culture everyone is an adversary. In such a situation I rarely see civility as the standard. The outcome of perpetual contest is that we stand alone and alienated. Incivility lives itself out as a disease of separation.

Our conversational styles are caught up by this philosophy. “In your face” is currently acceptable, but certainly has no Biblical foundation. The phrases “Just Do It” and “Outta My Way” create a language of incivility resulting in thoughts and actions of rudeness.

Controlling our attitudes and establishing respect for others requires discipline and a system. In my long study of emotions I developed a formula that I will share with you. Experiment and see if it will help you as it has helped me. “First the thought, then the mood, then the rationalized action.” By this I mean, first the thought comes into our mind and if we keep it long enough to give it validity it drops down into our heart and creates a mood. After this, the mood rationalizes the action. For example, when we harbor anger as a thought, it turns into a mood, and then plays out as a hostile action.

How do we work the formula for a successful outcome? We start by keeping the destructive thought out of our hearts.

Thoughts which aren’t given credibility or space will be fleeting. But if we dwell on it and give it the power to create a mood, we have taken a step toward action. Thoughts and actions are linked. “As a man thinks, so is he.”

I am not suggesting we have the ability to clear our minds of all thoughts, I know that just isn’t so. The important thing is to substitute another, healthier thought in its place. My Mother used to warn us that “idle minds were the devil’s workshop.” Even in scripture we are told in our thinking to consider truth, nobility, rightness, purity, loveliness, admirableness, and praiseworthiness.

If our goal is civility, then our mental discipline must be starting with civil thoughts. If we want to live nobly, then ignoble thoughts must be discarded. We must work to reprogram our minds, replacing the bad with the good. Emotional, mental, control will help us create social civility. Understanding the process of guarding the mind and heart allows us to take control of our actions which is the foundation of a civil society.

This week think about: 1) When do I most struggle with allowing unhealthy thoughts to grab hold? 2) How am I establishing mental disciplines to protect my thought life? 3) Which are my most productive moods?

Words of Wisdom: “First the thought, then the mood, then the rationalized action.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now immediately, when Jesus realized in his spirit that they were contemplating such thoughts, he said to them, ‘Why are you thinking such things in your hearts?’” (Mark 2:8 NET Bible)