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  • Character (Page 2)

Character Matters

Fred’s library included books on speaking, elocution, and famous orators. He studied style, delivery, and content. As a lifelong learner he focused on clarity in his speaking and writing. He enjoyed tracing philosophical thought through generations, as well.

Character Matters
Browsing through a book flea market, I found a large four hundred fifty page leather bound, gilt-edged volume of “Famous After Dinner Speeches” delivered between 1875 and 1895 in Boston and New York. After digging deeply for the nickel it cost, I took it home and began reading through them.
In those speeches were many issues completely relevant today. As I studied them I saw a common thread: dignity. “A man is honored for what he gives, not for what he gets.”
In this time (1981) I see an attack on this principle. Recent surveys show that the “I am for #1” is the primary motivator. The sale of books on aggression and winning by intimidation regardless of the effect on character have skyrocketed. We are changing our definition of good and evil. That is vital. When we redefine the base as noble, our foundational values are gone. I see this change coming quickly and needs reversing.
When I was a kid among the poor (the socially acceptable phrase is underprivileged, but all we lacked was money – we had everything else, so I prefer to say poor) even the most impoverished had respect for Christian values. We had respect for those with strong character and integrity who didn’t get rich by whatever means were available. The ends definitely did not justify the means.
America operated on Christian principles, even if the population wasn’t scripturally based and “born again.” This is evaporating. The definitions of morality are being redone. I cannot think of anything more critical than understanding the source of definitions and the way we operate.
In business, leadership responsibility is perpetuity, not net profit. Profit is important because it allows for an ongoing institution, but it isn’t the basic principle. It is the responsibility of those privileged to lead to provide for the organization to continue. Inadequate management can wreak havoc on businesses that have provided livelihoods for employees and communities alike. Often it is a lack of character, short-term thinking, and failure to understand their leadership responsibilities.
Effective leadership precedes profit. Revenue is not the goal, but a means to the goal. Chasing money alone weakens an organization and often results in short-term decisions and compromise. It creates an environment which denies the dignity of longevity and perpetuity.
A value structure which has a long-term perspective is an essential part of dignity in business and in personal living. Allowing values to deteriorate into “whatever works” is the way to failure and defeat.

This week think about: 1) Fred saw these trends in 1981. What are you seeing today that concerns you in business, home, church, and community? 2) How are you creating personal habits to live with dignity? 3) Who is a leading influencer in your life?
Words of Wisdom: “Effective leadership precedes profit.”
Wisdom from the Word: “Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might and the beginning of my strength, outstanding in dignity, outstanding in power.” (Genesis 49:3 NET Bible)

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God and America

Weekly Thought – May 22, 2018

Fred understood human nature better than most. He was never shocked because he grasped the depth of our depravity, but also celebrated the heights to which we could soar in the Spirit. He enjoyed thinking about philosophical elements of society. The separation of church and state is an example.

God and America

In their writings, memorials, statues, public utterances, and their deepest thoughts, our founding fathers demonstrated their faith in the Divine. When they advocated the separation of church and state were they being hypocritical? No, I think not. They simply understood it better than we do today. Separation was not to isolate or dwarf either.

We have confused the issue of religion in politics with the theory of separation. These are very different concepts which the media and unknowledgeable, biased people treat as synonymous.

The basic tenet of separation is to keep two major bureaucracies (church and state) from uniting and thereby combining treason and heresy under the same authority. If a person became offensive he could be declared treasonous and if that failed, marked as a heretic. The chance to escape was slight.

The union of church and state refused equal freedom to denominationalism. The elimination of choice between denominations would be extremely unhealthy. Personally, I know and respect a great many of the current religious leaders, but I do not know a single one I would risk handing over leadership for all of Christendom. The dispersion of church leadership is an advantage of denominationalism.

When a human leader has the choice between the visible power of politics with money/power and the invisible power of God, the temptation is great to turn toward the visible which can be controlled, neglecting the invisible which is intended to control him.

Unfortunately, we are seeing a revival of the concept of civil religion. To say that morality comes only from the Christian faith, in my view, is untrue. There is a great need for stronger morality in America. I am grateful for greater depth of our moral fiber. But I believe to say it can only come from Christians is not true.

I appreciate the effort to revitalize America. We need it. However, I am afraid of any group who indicates that when we choose them as leaders we automatically get the exclusive sponsorship of God. Quoting religious platitudes can hardly deliver God to our nation. Who knows if He is through with us, but if He is elections can’t return Him.

It is important that I am searching to be on God’s side, not promising that He is on mine. Am I saying religion (and Christian faith) should not enter into political decisions? Certainly not! To say a man’s convictions should be kept out of any of his decisions is to suggest he become schizophrenic. In seeing the validity of a man’s faith in his political life, we also see the wisdom of not creating a society in which a man could be hanged on the dual horns of treason and heresy.

This week think about: 1) How do I react to Fred’s thoughts on church/state? 2) Why do I participate in the political system? 3) When do I most effectively allow my faith to influence my work, church, family?

Words of Wisdom: “To say a man’s convictions should be kept out of any of his decisions is to suggest he become schizophrenic.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He said to them, ‘Then give to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.’” (Matthew 22:21 NET Bible)

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American Musings

Weekly Thought – May 15, 2018

Fred’s early 1980s speeches reflect the depth of his thinking. He always went to the fundamental principles, then fleshed them out with current illustrations. These observations about America reflect the early weeks of Reagan’s administration.

American Musings

We have to think maybe the only real mandate President Reagan got from the people was to replace Jimmy Carter. He was elected, to my observations, not on confidence, but on hope. And hope is such a tenuous political emotion – so often disappointed. The masses knew we needed a change. It is still for this administration to establish that confidence so necessary for a leader if he is going to be truly constructive rather than a poll watcher. Sometimes I think we are getting to be political “poll cats.” Pardon the stinky pun.

Can we think together about what it takes to build confidence on hope’s foundation? America was built by confidence in the founding fathers whom we still revere. They were men who were willing to serve the nation even at a personal sacrifice. Now we have shifted to those who ask to run the country to take power, not to serve it. Those willing to serve were the statesmen while those anxious to serve are the politicians.

We must once again feel America has a destiny – more than survival. Mere survival will not inspire the energy and commitment w need for world leadership. As Faulkner said, “The life worth living does more than survive, it prevails.” When our highest concern is survival then compromise becomes our modus operandus. When communism first threatened the world those who chose survival were represented by the scholar who said, “Better Red than dead.”

Those who refuse to cave in to fear are saying with Solzhenitsyn “Better dead than a scoundrel.” He was willing to put aside risk survival for the life that prevails. He, like Bonhoeffer, was offered survival in exchange for compromise and silence. They both chose excellence over mere existence. Only when life is really worth living is it worth dying for.
I have had some concern that some of our past state department leaders have not believed us as a people capable of leading and therefore adopted compromise.

If the character of our people has weakened, if we have run our course in defense of freedom, and if leisure has become our goal, then compromise is all that is the only option open to us… and that will be for a short time. Compromise is a downward spiral, just as the prevailing attitude draws us upward.

This week think about: 1) How are these 1981 thoughts pertinent to today? 2) What did Fred see that I can apply to my own thinking this week? 3) When do I accept compromise in my work, faith, or family?

Words of Wisdom: “Only when life is really worth living is it worth dying for.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Dear friends, if our conscience does not condemn us, we have confidence in the presence of God.” (1 John 3:21 NET Bible)

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The Will to Win

Weekly Thought – September 5, 2017

Fred processed continually. He looked at life through the lens of philosophy, psychology, and faith. He saw the nature of God and the nature of man as the groundwork for all worldviews and thought structures. He loved thinking and thankfully he preserved thousands of these thoughts and inklings for us.

Please know we are thankful for your support of BWF. Your support enables us to continue Fred’s legacy through these emails, the Breakfast with Fred Leadership Institute, and www.breakfastwithfred.com Financial gifts are tax deductible and deeply appreciated.

The Will to Win

Mary Alice and I have six grandchildren. Our three children keep us amply supplied with pictures. Mary Alice is now thoroughly enjoying the second generation and the opportunity to be a grandmother. I am grateful for them and all they represent. They are great pictures, but that isn’t what is important. It will be what the children see in themselves that matter. An eminent psychologist told me, “Fred, what a boy thinks it takes to be a man and what a girl thinks it takes to be a woman then tells me what I need to know to predict their behavior.”

But there is more – and something we can’t see in the photographs… the will to win, the drive to be a pro. Only time will show if they have the willingness to play hurt, to concentrate on becoming the best at one thing. I have always liked Paul’s focus: “This one thing I do.”
Just this week I was playing golf with the head of a marketing company who said, “We can now test for most things in a man’s ability and personality, but we can’t test to ascertain the price he is willing to pay for success.”

A highly successful executive and I were listening to world-class athlete Bob Richards tell what it meant to win an Olympic gold medal. My friend leaned over and whispered to me, “I may not be an Olympic winner on the outside, but I am one on the inside.” He has the will to win.

That is where the real champion starts for all of us. The desire, training, and ability to stay in there, lose, and then keep on coming on – that is the will. And this is not just an attribute of an athlete – this is seen in the factory, the home, the office, and in church life. We can all be pros.

When I look into the eyes of our grandchildren, I see promise and greatness (after all they do have our DNA), and I pray they will see in themselves a reason to pay the price of accomplishment and achievement. More than that, we want them to be people of character – that is the true win.

This week think about: 1) How serious am I about maximizing my gifts? 2) Who needs my encouragement and word of hope this week? 3) What is stopping me from doing my best?

Words of Wisdom: “That is where the real champion starts for all of us. The desire, training, and ability to stay in there, lose, and then keep on coming on – that is the will.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Not that I have already attained this – that is, I have not already been perfected – but I strive to lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus also laid hold of me.” (Philippians 3:12 NET Bible)

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Who Do You Serve?

Weekly Thought – January 31, 2017

Fred rarely fell into fuzzy thinking. His friend and mentor Maxey Jarman burned into him the necessity of clarity. He also objectively looked at processes and “pulled the loose threads.” He spoke plainly, but with beautifully crafted nuances. In these Weekly Thoughts, the material is garnered from Fred’s writings and notes over decades. Some of the illustrations are dated, but undoubtedly the principles are timeless.

Who Do You Serve?

The proper and right concept of leadership is vital. The correct use of theory is essential. Some people differentiate between the theoretical and the practical, as if theory is impractical. One of my earliest management lessons came in this simple maxim: “Nothing is as practical as a correct theory.”

Behind every practicality is a theory. Foundational to our moon shots was Einstein’s theories of relativity. Behind Edison was Faraday’s Theory of Electricity. Just so in leadership. The concept comes first and without a solid understanding nothing but faulty leadership develops.

Currently, one of the popular concepts is “servant leadership.” Properly understood, it is helpful, but it can (and has been) terribly abused.

In ministry, the Christian leader is a servant of God, not a servant of the sheep. Many spiritual shepherds get that confused – and operate incorrectly, inadequately, and often ineptly. The belief that each sheep is the source of the servanthood is to misunderstand the concept.

I have a good friend who nearly lost his sanity trying to be a servant leader to his congregation with the mindset that each was his boss. When one of his “bosses” called him in the middle of the night with instructions, he felt obligated to respond. The situation became absolutely intolerable.

Yes, you lead by serving, but the major expression of your service is your leadership.

Take for example, Lee Iacocca, a great leader. He is a servant of the Chrysler Corporation but he doesn’t ask every employee from assembly line to executive suite where and how the company should go. He may certainly solicit counsel, but he expects his employees to do their job well – just as they expect him to do his with excellence. Iacocca’s servanthood is expressed through his leadership. If he were to give up doing this he would no longer be a faithful servant of Chrysler.

This week think about: 1) What is my own definition of servant leadership? 2) How successful am I leading others? 3) What changes do I need to make in my leadership style to be more effective?

Words of Wisdom: “Yes, you lead by serving, but the major expression of your service is your leadership.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For the one who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by people.” (Romans 14:18 NET Bible)

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Life Blood

Weekly Thought – December 27, 2016

Fred did not trumpet his good deeds. He believed in quiet philanthropy and giving without fanfare. He gave to operations because “nobody likes to give to paperclips, but organizations need them.” He was generous in his giving and supported many without any thought of a charitable deduction.

Thank you for partnering with BWF this year. We appreciate your prayer encouragement, and your financial gifts. We look forward to another year of stretching and blessing.

Life Blood

Sometimes you keep stories to yourself because they are very personal. Sometimes the deep satisfaction that they reflect keeps them private. This is a story out of my early manhood I have never told before, simply because it was very personal and a very satisfying experience. It didn’t need any broadcasting.

When I was a young man in this life insurance business I went into a lawyer’s office where he and his daughter practiced together. As I spoke to them, they were obviously upset and asked me what my blood type was. Although it was a strange question, I knew that they earnestly needed my answer. When I told him he said, “That is exactly what we need.” And then he continued, “My brother is dying in St. Thomas Hospital (in Nashville, TN) and must have blood immediately. Will you give him some of yours?” I happily agreed.

We got into the car and headed straight for the hospital. Without doing anything other than taking off my coat, I stretched out on a cot beside the man. They transferred the blood directly from me to him because his need was that great. He lived and was very grateful for the transfusion. He wanted to pay me, but I told him his gratitude and his survival were thanks enough. Financial payment would be inappropriate.

I never saw him again but the experience produced total satisfaction.

When our souls were in need of a donation for our salvation, Christ shed His blood. When our souls were perishing, Christ provided a way for eternal lie. Christ gave us something that we cannot buy – we can only receive it by faith… namely, His grace. “Would you be free from the burden of sin? There’s power in the blood.”

This week think about: 1) How sensitive am I to needs of those around me? 2) What triggers my desire to give? 3) Who needs to hear about the life-giving blood of Jesus?

Words of Wisdom: “When our souls were in need of a donation for our salvation, Christ shed His blood.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not withhold good from those who need it, when you have the ability to help.” (Proverbs 3:27 NET Bible)

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Steadfastness

Weekly Thought – November 22, 2016

Fred was consulting with a manufacturing firm in northern Ohio on November 22, 1963. He drove to Granbury, Ohio where their elder daughter was a student at Denison University. He visited and talked about the implications of the Kennedy death. He returned on Sunday to take her out to lunch with a group of friends. Walking through the lobby of the Holiday Inn in Newark they watched the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas. So much changed that weekend, but Fred was there – she could count on him.

Steadfastness

Frankly, I was surprised to find in my study that loyalty is one of the key elements in love. I always thought of spontaneity and extravagance as demonstrations, but now I have to add loyalty. Of course, when I think back on my life I realize how important it truly is, even without recognizing and naming it.

For example, during one of my hospital stays I woke up to see a paper taped to the wall with the letters YTCO printed. One of our granddaughters had made the sign because she knew the story behind them and how much they meant to me. Confederate Cavalry Officer Jeb Stuart always closed his correspondence to General Robert E. Lee with these words, “Yours To Count On.”(YTCO) When I told my family the story, they all adopted it.

Every time I woke up and saw those letters I knew she was saying, “We are with you, Grandfather, and we love you.”

I am a connoisseur of donut shops. I have given them my expert opinion from coast to coast. One time in Grand Saline, TX I was in one of the best. Across from my table sat a rural couple. She was dressed in what I think women call “gingham.” He was dressed in his best “go to town” overalls. He got up to pay, but she didn’t get up. I wondered why. Then he came back and gently, but firmly, picked her up. I then saw she was in a full body brace.

He carried her to their pickup while everyone in the shop watched them through the front window. The waitress turned to me and said, “He took his vows seriously, didn’t he, Mister?” Yes, he did.

When I think about God, His love always comes to mind. God’s love for us is evidenced through his loyalty to us. “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Our names are permanently engraved on the palms of His hand. He takes his covenant seriously.

This week think about: 1) How do loyalty and love work together for me? 2) What behaviors represent loyalty? 3) How loyal am I to those who love me?

Words of Wisdom: “God’s love for us is evidenced through his loyalty to us.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38,39 NET Bible)

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Pain and Gain of Tribulation

Weekly Thought – November 8, 2016

Fred read deeply in devotional writing. He appreciated Gratian’s Manual, Practicing the Presence of God, The Seeking Heart, and My Utmost For His Highest, among many others. His copies were heavily noted and annotated with thoughts prompted by these ancient writers. Fred’s long-time and valued friend Harold Myra is currently working on a devotional based on the writings of Brother Lawrence. Fred would have thoroughly enjoyed “thinking on those things.”

The BWFLI schedule for 2016 is completed – with great joy and thanksgiving. Please pray for LeTourneau University and Greenville College which are actively in the planning stages currently for 2017.

Pain and Gain of Tribulation

Until I spent several months on my back, unable to move, I didn’t really appreciate patience. Perhaps I could have given you “three points of managing a patient attitude,” but I didn’t experientially understand. Now I know that true patience reduces unhealthy distress without diminishing healthy stress. Patience brings poise to our life, enabling us to discern between the important and the less important. It gives us tolerance for the point of view of others. Patience promotes meditation. The Scripture confirms the ancient saint’s belief that patience develops character. “Tribulation brings about perseverance and perseverance, proven character, and proven character hope” is the way Paul said it. Here we see that hope is in the direct line of blessing with tribulation and patience.

Brother Lawrence said that he prayed for tribulation in order to become stronger so that he might endure even more tribulation. He saw suffering as “God’s gymnasium.” When you are an A-type personality, everything has to happen quickly. Yet tribulation has its own pace – its own rhythm. I have found patience to be the only antidote for my frustrations, most of which have been seated in my ego. I get irritated because I wanted my own way and at my speed. Today my immobility and total dependence on others have made patience so valuable in avoiding testiness. (My family may think I have more work to do to completely operate with my irenic spirit!)

Tribulation can be either positive or negative. The choice is yours to make and as you want it, so it shall be. A national magazine picked up a phrase I have begun to use: “I am not disabled; I am delightfully dependent.” The “delightful” is my way of being patient.

Patience, like many of our most valued qualities, is slow growing. Patience is an oak tree, not a cornstalk. Patience is available to all of us who are willing to pay the price. It is not an inherited quality that comes in the genes – it is the result of tribulation and our disciplined response.

Sweating it out in God’s gymnasium is hard work, but the Coach knows best.

This week think about: 1) What do I really think about tribulation? 2) How do I adjust my attitude in patience-building circumstances? 3) Who models patience in a healthy way for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Patience is not an inherited quality that comes in the genes – it is the result of tribulation and our disciplined response.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Not only this, but we also rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance, character, and character, hope.” (Romans 5: 3,4 NET Bible)

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Yes or No

Weekly Thought – February 23, 2016

Fred “took a dim view” (as he would say) of those who saw themselves as exceptions to the rule. Or, those who treated exceptions as the norm.

The BWFLI Prayer Network is committed to praying for our Christian colleges and universities. We are standing with them as they educate the next generation of men and women who take Christ to the world. If you want to join us, please email brenda@bwfli.com

Yes or No

As leaders, our decisions determine the character of our organizations. We cannot make exceptions for ourselves. The leader is responsible for keeping options in line with right character.

Character decisions must be disciplined decisions. However, I see several undisciplined patterns, responses, and rationales. Here are a few:

1) Trying to maintain control – Some organizations create structures for personal control, not for leadership development. Generally, the control-driven leader is self-serving. Dictators do not develop great succession plans. The extreme controller damages the organization by sabotaging others who are viewed as competition or threats. Instability is often the negative result.

2) Trying to outdo the competition – Healthy competition is part of the infrastructure of commerce, but conniving, fraudulent practices to undercut other companies or products makes for bad decisions. Keeping two sets of books, hiding safety reports, undercutting prices, or corporate espionage are examples of character degeneration. Unhealthy leaders give birth to unhealthy environments.

3) Refusing to admit mistakes – Leaders must name and claim mistakes as soon as possible. They must minimize the loss, and start remedial actions immediately. They now call it damage control, but when I grew up it was called taking responsibility for my actions. In the 1960s the sitcom Happy Days featured the Fonz. He was incapable of saying, “I was wrong.” That style never works for real leaders.

4) Hiring or firing people based on politics – A leader’s first question should be: “Will this appointment help the organization to fulfill its mission?” not “Will this person vote my way or forward my personal goals?” I was once asked to sit on a friend’s board. I asked, “Will I have the freedom to disagree with your decisions?” “Fred, I think this probably isn’t a good idea.” He wanted a “yes man,” but that wasn’t the best for the organization.

This week think about: 1) Do I ever take a shortcut and make a self-focused decision? 2) How easy is it for me to admit I am wrong? 3) What can I do to encourage disciplined decisions in my home or organization?

Words of Wisdom: “Unhealthy leaders give birth to unhealthy environments.”

Wisdom from the Word: “An honorable man makes honorable plans; his honorable character gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 NET Bible)

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Measuring Character

Weekly Thought – January 19, 2016

Fred took his own integrity temperature regularly because he didn’t trust his human nature to fly straight on auto-pilot. He also measured the character of others, particularly when he was doing business with them. One of his secret weapons was his wife, Mary Alice. He refused to hire a key person without her meeting them and giving her input.

Measuring Character

Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity. Fortunately, our character can be strong without being perfect. It is enough that we want solid character for then we are teachable and reclaimable after falling. The worst flaw is to believe we are not vulnerable.

Here are measures I have found to be helpful in thinking about others:

1) Personality affects the way we react to pressure and desires. The introvert must be drawn out to discover the response while most extroverts must be reined in by themselves or others.

2) Testing the strengths and weaknesses presents surprises. Knowing others allows the leader to develop strengths and bolster weaknesses.

3) Past history is a predictor of the future. Asking co-workers, family, and friends can be enlightening. Often, character is better known than talents and skills.

Here are three areas that are beneficial for self-assessment:

1) Find a trusted and valued objective resource as a touchstone and standard. Biblical truth is an excellent yardstick.

2) Check for purity of purpose and transparency. “Yours to count on” is a good indication of strong character.

3) Tongue control, ego management, obedience, and confession are indicators of a strong character. Emotional maturity is always one of my personal goals.

Character grows strong under pressure, suffering, loss, tribulation, and failures, in which the mind gets experiences and the heart gets convictions. Character is the element that makes us stand when we want to run, to live when it would be easier to die, and to fight for the right — even in a losing cause.

This week think about: 1) How careful am I to assess my own character as well as those around me? 2) What does “purity of purpose” mean in my daily living? 3) What is my standard of truth?

Words of Wisdom: “Emotional maturity is one of my personal goals.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The king said to him, ‘How many times must I make you solemnly promise in the name of the Lord to tell me only the truth?’” (1 Kings 22:16 NET Bible)

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