Brenda’s Blog – September 5, 2023

“Not my fault – not my fault – not my fault!”

Walking down the hall with my arms full of folded laundry I heard my preschooler’s voice repeating “Not my fault.” I quickly delivered the piles to each person’s room then walked back to see son Jeff sitting alone on the floor.

“Jeff, what are doing?” “I am practicing in case Heather and Meredith get me in trouble.” His older sisters often pointed at this cute little blonde boy when they were the guilty ones.

He is now a husband, father of four, and pastor. His grown sisters look up to their “little brother,” respecting him for his integrity and love for the Lord.

Whenever I remember this moment I recognize we live in a culture of blame. We suffer the consequences of too much “not my fault,” practice. Our attitude of sidestepping responsibility is now ingrown and accepted. Group faces off against group; ideology garners support while demeaning another ideology. One worldview espouses “passing the buck” and naming others as oppressors. Teaching young ones to quickly respond, “My fault (or “my bad!) – I am sorry – or forgive me” is a challenge, but one of the healthiest exercises for maturity.

The grace of God is sufficient to provide redemption and reconciliation. Accepting our shortcomings without blaming it on society, family relationships, opportunity, or even God leads to joy. We can continue to sit on the floor and chant “not my fault, not my fault, not my fault” but what a loss. Let’s get up, “man (or woman) up” and live as contributing adults.

Brenda’s Blog – August 22, 2023

“These people have read 14 books, read 8 articles and essays, watched 18 videos, and they responded to questions on each. They have participated in approximately 20 webinars, listened to daily BreakPoint Commentaries, and completed daily devotionals. They have participated in 10 Cohort meetings and led discussions at some of the meetings. They have completed or planned to complete a Worldview Teaching Practicum, and they have developed a Three-Year Plan for Ministry.”

As the speaker read off the past 10 months’ academic accomplishments the size and scope of the Colson Fellows’ Program struck me. “If I had known before I began I am not sure I would have chosen to apply.” Yes, that occurred to me. But what if I had known and allowed that knowledge to stop me from engaging in one of the most stimulating experiences of my life?

Have you ever stopped and looked back upon a challenging season? An overwhelming project? A serious experience? Did you say thanks for having just enough light to make the next steps? Scripture tells us God’s Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. The light for the path is the overall plan (for me, the full syllabus) and the lamp is the step by step (the month’s curriculum requirements).

We are to “consider the cost” as we make decisions, but we are also to follow Abraham as he went out “not knowing where.” He didn’t know the where but he knew the who – indeed he did. And we who follow Jesus are confident that He will complete the work He starts in us – day by day.

When we think we look back at His faithfulness we know we are ready to do what He calls us to do – what a privilege!

Brenda’s Blog – August 8, 2023

“Don’t waste one crumb of that delicious bread – use every single bite.”

During World War II ration books were issued which limited the availability of consumables. All products had values placed on them with a corresponding number of points. Families and businesses had to diligently budget their use of all items. The emphasis on austerity was tied to the winning of the war by the American forces.

I enjoy Radio Classics on Sirius/XM radio. The featured programs from the 40’s and 50’s occasionally include a vintage commercial. One played which urged the listeners to “waste not, want not” when using their loaves of bread. Suggestions of creative uses, followed by earnest motivation for each listener to do their part in the war effort.

I was intrigued by the style of the commercial, as well as the style of the writing. Then it hit me – we still get ration books but this one only features on commodity: time. We are given 525,600 minutes each year. Some will be used for necessities like eating and sleeping; others will be exchanged for relationships; and many will be transferred to our employers as work hours.

We have the responsibility to put a value on the time we are given. We are to choose how to allocate each of those minutes. Just as a homemaker carefully managed her ration book and was careful not to waste one crumb of bread, we, too, can recognize the “delicious” nature of our time. Savoring each day is challenging for there are surely some (maybe many) within that collection with “wasted” imprinted on them. But when we see each day as a gift, an opportunity, and a stewardship we can decide to “use every single bite” using the minutes creatively.

We should be careful as we decide how to allocate the minutes in our ration book for they are a precious and limited resource. Let’s enjoy the 525,600 minutes put in our book each year – and use them well.

Brenda’s Blog – July 25, 2023

“Bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night.”

My friend Dru Woods did a Facebook live video on the morning of July 4th. As she sat at her piano she retold the dramatic story of the Star Spangled Banner’s origin. Afterwards she turned and masterfully played a majestic arrangement of the national anthem. What a fitting way to begin Independence Day.
The words bounced around in my brain for several hours. Then it struck me what a blessing the firing of guns provided. All through that long siege Francis Scott Key and the others stood aboard ship in the harbor overlooking Fort McHenry as the revolutionaries battled the British for control. The only sign of dominance was the presence of the flag – whether Union Jack or Stars and Stripes.

The darkness of night kept everyone from knowing the outcome – except when the bombs and fiery missiles went off. Then the sky lit up momentarily and the men could tell which flag was flying.

In the morning’s light they recognized the Stars and Stripes, but throughout the long night they had to wait for random bursts of light from the battle.

It occurred to me our lives have similar situations. In the darkness of trials and sufferings we don’t know the outcome. Yet, there are moments even in the heaviest part of the struggle when light shines letting us know where we are and how we are doing. The flashes of the warfare actually give us knowledge we didn’t have before. In those difficult times precious blasts often clarify the direction we are taking and lighten the path. We see if we are making progress and we see a bit more of the pathway. So, like Key, we can use those momentary lights (even though they are coming in the heat of war) to get our bearings.

The morning inevitably comes as it did for the soldiers at Fort McHenry. American history records that the battle scarred banner still held its position on the pole. We, too, often find when daylight arrives after tremendous conflicts, we see that we are on the winning side and our flag is flying.

Brenda’s Blog – July 11, 2023

“Hey, you there in the cage!”

Driving south on Interstate 75 in Florida I was part of the parade of slowly moving vehicles occupied by snowbirds trading snow blowers for golf clubs.
A billboard caught my eye – it was an enormous Harley Davidson ad with giant letters, “Hey, there, you in the cage!” The image of a powerful motorcycle ridden by a joyful middle ager made me laugh. Their marketing department knew the audience and impeccably timed the placement.

Although I will never cruise down the highway atop two wheels and listening to the trademarked Harley roar, I can identity with living in a cage. Don’t we all live within boundaries of our own making? We make choices throughout life which defines the size and scope of our cages.

When young we can look around, decide we aren’t happy with the box, and make changes. The older we get the fewer our options and the more permanent is our cage. Therefore, what we think and do makes a difference. My Dad used to say when we are young we write our plans and see the consequences in pencil. There is an eraser. At some point in our lives the pencil is traded for a pen. No eraser and much more permanent implications.

So, as I laughed at the Harley Davidson marketing department’s genius reach out on that Florida interstate I did have to think about what decisions I was making and what my cage was going to be.

Brenda’s Blog – June 27, 2023

When I was in grade school we gleefully sang about a terrified rabbit who approached a cabin in the woods shouting “Help me, help me, sir, he cried!!” This poor rabbit was running from a hunter who wanted to “shoot him dead.” We raised our hands wildly in rhythm to the refrain as the hare begged for refuge. To this day, I find myself laughingly saying (without hand motions) “help me, help me, sir, she cried!” as a response to a puzzling situation.

In my 40s I went to work as a newly single woman. I was blessed to be employed in a fine firm with an outstanding employer. I soon learned one of his favorite phrases was, “hep the boy!” That meant he needed administrative assistance, a listening ear, or an encouraging word. I learned much “hepping the boy!”

Did you know bikers have a signal for needing help? If you see a bike by the side of the road with a helmet situated behind you know the rider is asking for assistance.

As a grandmother I am particularly attune to items about child safety. One of the key hand gestures every child should know is four fingers raised with the thumb across the palm. When the fingers are then lowered to cover the palm it can be translated HELP ME! Oh, that no young child should ever have to use the gesture, but it is important for them to know.

As I thought about these I considered other ways we ask for help without words. How aware of the person who seems to disappear by withdrawing are we? What about the friend who cannot sleep night after night? And how about the person who drinks too much, eats too much, or shops too much?

Adults don’t have a hand signal or wave their hands saying, “help me, help me,” but the desperation may still be there. Why don’t we pray for sensitivity to the needs of others? Why don’t we ask for eyes and ears to help others?

Brenda’s Blog – June 13, 2023

“Welcome to the future!” My 14 year old grandson eagerly told me he and his Mom have a special time to watch the TV show Monk. They enjoy solving the mystery and chuckling at Monk’s methodology. “Gram, would you like to watch it with me?” Of course my response was a quick, “Absolutely –.”

As a frequent insomniac and the cable program schedule, I often watch Tony Shaloub masterfully bring the detective to life. Its time bloc is midnight to 2AM. Not eager to drive from the hotel to their house I asked, “What time is it on?”

Laughing, he said, “We watch it whenever we want – we stream it. Welcome to the future, Gram!” Then it was my turn to laugh – and I did! I felt like an old 1960s woman checking in her TV Guide to see what each of the three channels offered!

What a lesson I learned that afternoon in Minnesota.

This experience triggered thoughts about the “water my grands swim in.” In order to have meaningful conversations I needed to understand this cultural moment, the influencers in their lives, and how they define purpose. My “lived experiences” do not correspond to theirs. However, I discovered a bridge – the generational commission.

The Bible tells us repeatedly we, the olders, are assigned a significant responsibility… telling the next generation(s) of God’s power, strength, goodness, and mighty deeds. The Psalms are replete with charges to use our time well communicating to those coming behind.

Who needs you to accept this commission? What opportunities has God given you to be a messenger of hope to a generation desperately hungering for stability and purpose?

God has chosen our children and grandchildren for this time. He will give them everything they need to serve Him well. He has given us the privilege of sharing the majesty, adequacy, and sufficiency of our great God with them. Start by reading Psalm 71 and 78 – David’s words will offer the challenge.

Brenda’s Blog – May 30, 2023

“I think it’s dead, so let’s cut it down.”

I walked around my yard eyeing the faithful ones which stood tall and strong sporting beautiful greenery. How proud I am of them! They are the ones I can count on. Then I look at a straggly one standing in the shadow of my favorites. No green leaves, not even tiny buds. Certainly this one has lost the race and needs to go.

The delay to clean up the yard taught me a lesson: don’t give up on late bloomers. I walked out on the deck, surprised at the sight of tiny leaves popping out on the “dead tree.” WOW! That made me think deeper than trees… it made me stop and ask. How often am I tempted to question abilities because the person doesn’t break out in leafy glory as quickly as others? And perhaps they will never attain the volume of the giant oaks, but their contribution adds to the fullness of my backyard.

Maturity isn’t reached by all simultaneously – there is a random, and often frustrating, pattern of development. We can miss out on the joy of seeing someone burst out in bloom if we write them off as dead way before they really are. Seeing their potential and nurturing them is slow, sometimes agonizing, work, but oh, what a payday when we see them find their sweet spot and shine.

God designs a plan for each of us. His timing is impeccable. Our assignment is to cultivate and nurture those around us so they flourish and flower. And it also reminds me to consider my own seasons. I may think I am too old to bloom, but then an idea sparks new activity… and leafiness! We have the privilege of seeing new paths and new opportunities – and off we go blossoming anew!

Brenda’s Blog – May 16, 2023

“The pangs of hunger have made him take risks.”

Kevin Costner’s fine documentary on the Yellowstone National Park featured the plants and animals, as well as the majestic topography. One was the Bobcat. As the camera chronicled his activities the animal clearly exposed himself to danger and harm. Costner explained to the audience: “The pangs of hunger have made him take risks.”

In Plano, Texas bobcats are threatening the peaceful existence of this residential community. The first time you see them agilely walking along the tops of backyard fences, it startles. But then their hunt for food has taken them from formerly wilderness areas to well-populated homesites. They are hungry and they have been driven out of their natural habitat, so they impinge on neighborhoods. Cats and small dogs become targeted dinner items.

Think about hunger for a minute? What drives you to take risks? Where are your hungers? Some are very good. Proverbs tells us that man’s hunger drives us to work. Before free money kept so many home because “I can make more money not working and I like it so much better” most chose to earn a paycheck in order to buy groceries.

There is hunger for belonging which sometimes drives us to take unhealthy relational risks, or it becomes a strong driver to seek our friendships and Christian fellowship. Hunger can be good.

Last weekend I was with students from East Texas Baptist University. Many spoke of the hunger to make a difference – to do something meaningful with their lives. Hooray for that hunger. May they find satisfaction in their heart’s desire.

Sadly, as we age we often put away the desires which drive us to participate. We sit too much. But God doesn’t have a time stamp on us. As long as we are alive we have the privilege of hungering and thirsting after righteousness and living out the purpose for which we were created. We don’t have to walk across backyard fences or take wild risks, we just have to open ourselves to the joys of doing what we were created to do.

Brenda’s Blog – May 2, 2023

“Such a shame to see the loss. The bars couldn’t save them.”

In East Texas along highway 80 is a house noticeably marked by destruction. That is not particularly uncommon, but the exterior tells an unusual story.

Every window and the front door are completely covered with wrought iron bars. The immediate impression is a desire for safety. The house’s exterior presents itself as a fortified building, impervious to attack.

But you notice the burned out interior. The danger and damage didn’t come from the outside, but from a fire which began on the inside. The great loss didn’t occur because thieves broke through the iron, but because flames engulfed the inside.

As I looked at the remains the thought slammed into my brain (and heart). We can do everything to protect our children, grandchildren, and ourselves from the “threats of the world,” but often the deterioration begins from the inside. We too often point to others as the source of the family’s breakdown without acknowledging our own values we have adopted and brought home. The child who feels lonely because his parents are connected to their devices wrote a school paper saying he wished he could be a smart phone because then his parents would hold him, pay attention to him, and think he was important. How much damage do we do when our values are skewed?

And what about the attitude which rails against the wickedness of the world without giving our children a sense of God’s goodness, richness, and purpose for their lives? Failing to teach and live trust in a sovereign God lights little flames which grow into bonfires of disregard for things of the Lord. When a true God isn’t taught and worshipped no amount of “religious talk” will suffice.

The threat may be “out there,” but the protection we seek starts at home. Don’t put bars on the windows thinking you can shut the world out ; the interior must be fully armed by a living, vital faith in God as seen in Jesus Christ.