Business – Family Style

Weekly Thought – July 4, 2017

Fred enjoyed fireworks. He took the family out on the Ohio River to see the celebration from Coney Island. A too-short rope on a brand new anchor curtailed the entertainment. One quick throw and it was gone – anchor and 3 feet of rope unattached to the boat. Life is just like that sometimes. Happy July 4th to all.

(This week we continue the conversation with a college student who is considering various business alternatives. This one is an opportunity for entering a family business).

Business – Family Style

Let’s consider your going into a family business where you are not one of the family. It can be very comfortable, secure, and also very, very frustrating. If you choose to operate as “one of the family,” it can be pleasant. However, remember the advantages always go to family members first.

If the patriarch who built the business is still active, he generally plans for a son or close relative to carry on when he lets go – if he ever does. No one ever says he has to retire. A friend of mine grew very dissatisfied by working in a family business. Promises were made to him that he would be the next President when the founder retired. It didn’t happen. He spent years counting on that assumption. By the time a change and he wasn’t given the leadership, he was too old to go out and begin again. Consequently, he ended up very frustrated yet very competent.

Another challenge is the family member who is raised with privileges in the business which are not earned, but inherited. This creates an unfair, and certainly unequal, chance for promotions. The other threat is getting cross-wise with members of the extended family. This does not just apply to active members, but all those who feel “deserving” of a voice in decisions. And in-laws can create problems, as well.
I know I have sounded rather dire, but I want you to be realistic about these situations. Certainly, there are some excellent family-owned businesses which expand the leadership roles. These are very good places to work and grow.

A word: any promises or stock, equity positions, or leadership roles should be in writing. If you bring additional expertise which is not available within the family circle you can find a place to contribute and be rewarded. But be wise and protect yourself against the vagaries of family businesses.

This career path will take more patience than you expect. So, don’t go in without financial and emotional reserves. Do your research. Study the history, the board make-up, the mission statement, and the involvement of direct and indirect family members. Understand their expectations. And protect yourself against assumptions which can cause bad feelings and frustrations.

Think about: 1) What would I say to this college student about family businesses? 2) How could I counsel other young men and women about career choices? 3) How did I “find my path?”

Words of Wisdom: “But be wise and protect yourself against the vagaries of family business.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will walk in the way of integrity. When will you come to me? I will conduct my business with integrity in the midst of my palace.” (Psalm 101:2 NET Bible)

Entrepreneurial Endeavors

Weekly Thought – June 27, 2017

Fred studied business from an organizational viewpoint, focusing on principles. In counseling college students he discussed different types of business models, helping them to set their career course. This Weekly Thought shares his ideas on entrepreneurship.

Entrepreneurial Endeavors

Very few people can operate their own business, especially from scratch. I have great respect for those few who have taken a very small business and developed it into a sizeable organization.

Research shows less than 5% can be successfully self-employed. The early failures are usually attributed to undercapitalization. I think a better reason is “pilot error.” After all, why was the business started with inadequate funding? Usually wishful thinking and poor planning – what I call pilot error.

When I left a large corporation to form my own company I had planned and saved for 14 years. However, I found two very difficult problems facing me:

1) I was required to wear all the different hats necessary to get the total job completed. As a corporate officer I had a general knowledge of the entire operation, but had specialists to call on. In my own business I had to learn to do things I had formerly delegated. This changed my management style.

2) The second change was psychological. I was now using my own money whereas as a VP of a national corporation I was using (and diligently managing) their capital. Money became very personal. This is a shift many cannot make who have tried to move from corporate to self-owned. Many executives cannot accept this anxiety. They can invest corporate funds, but not their own. This results in nervousness and missed timing.

Often corporate executives say they want to be in business for themselves so they become their own boss. Poor reason. In fact, the customer is the boss of us all and we should never forget that.

I made several misjudgments early, but the biggest surprise was my lack of control of my time. The freedom I thought I would have as owner evaporates – the responsibilities for the business control your time. You can’t run a business like a hobby – particularly in the early years. It is a tyrant.

Naturally, there are some great advantages: you can accumulate more equity; you can design policies according to your philosophical bent; you make decisions without being questioned or sanctioned.

If you want to be in your own business, I suggest you start extremely small, and grow as you become properly capitalized and experienced. Keep your ego in check and don’t try to become too big too fast. I have seen it ruin many capable people.

If you have trouble making yourself work, stay out of your own business. A corporate friend asked me: “You own a business and a boat, how do you make yourself go to work?” It never dawned on me because business is the means by which I express my talent, not boating.

Think about: 1) How did I decide which form of business to enter? 2) Where do I express my gifts? 3) What is my dream job?

Words of Wisdom: “Business is where I express my gifts, not boating.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Warn them of the statutes and the laws, and make known to them the way in which they must walk and the work they must do.” (Exodus 18:20 NET Bible)

Feeling At Home

Brenda’s Blog – June 20, 2017

“We’re here where we know where here is.”

My 94 year old friend Nance and I traveled 260 miles during the day on a road trip to celebrate her birthday with her son. The day began early and she was somewhat confused. She wasn’t familiar with the route and it took a while for her to start enjoying the trip.

When she saw her son, her face lighted up and she relaxed. We took a tour of a beautiful little Texas town then enjoyed a delightful lunch together. He and his wife recently moved into their brand new home. This was my friend’s initial visit. She looked for familiar furniture, but found nothing but one small piece. I could see her trying to piece together unfamiliar territory.

The day was joyful and she so loved being “out and about.” But she continually tried to put everything into context. “This is where I went to high school.” “You and I have been here before and had lunch.” Of course, neither was true. She struggled to accept everything as new. She wanted anchors.

Happily, as we traveled home she went on and on about how much fun it was to have a birthday party. She also regaled me with reading after reading from a poetry book she carried with her. Long after she transfers from earth to heaven I will remember her recitation of, “Jenny Kissed Me.” Or, hearing her tell me her Dad memorized and quoted so many of the poems in the book. The trip home just flew by!

Then, we turned a corner, came over a rise, and she smiled broadly. “We’re here where we know where here is.” What a profound thought!

Don’t we all feel like strangers sometimes? Don’t we all fight to put our experiences into workable boxes? And then isn’t it a relief when something feels like home and feels like “here?”

Energy Levels

Weekly Thought – June 20, 2017

Fred drew pictures for people to grasp concepts and apply them. He called his illustrations “handles on pots.” He wanted people to take ideas and make them usable personally and professionally.

Energy Levels

Life for most of us is somewhat like a two stage rocket. The first is physical energy – it ignites and we are off. As physical energy diminishes, the spiritual stage must ignite to boost us into orbit or we fall back. When I say “spiritual” I don’t mean religious, but activity of the human spirit.

I have seen two kinds of spiritual energy: ego and responsibility. I cannot tell in the production between the two, but I can tell the difference in the spirit of the two. Running on ego alone destroys a person like a machine without lubricant. The result is increased heat and then burnout. When our kids were learning to drive I tried to impress upon them the basic rules of automobile mechanics. One of them was fundamental: keep the oil clean and changed.

On the other hand, a sense of responsibility creates great energy – a uniting force which seems to get the person all together. It lubricates and so remains a protection to the machine. The faster the speed, the greater the lubricant. There is joy in the going with a well-oiled machine.

As I write I think of several friends – all high achievers. From the outside they all look equally productive. But underneath you see the ones which are driven by ego, and those motivated by responsibility. The ego lubricant will wear out and they are probably at risk for burn-out.

Remember, the energy fuel or lubricant is not part of the machine. It is external. It is an additive. The fuel drives the engine and the lubrication protects it against friction and heat. In some sense, we are all production machines. I am not equating being and doing, but in reality it is hard to separate a person from what they do and who they are. The two seem to generate a confluence.

You need to understand the differences in machines, as well as fuels and lubricants. Not all are gifted with high performance vehicles. But those who maximize the machine they were given by using the best fuels and lubricants can experience high levels of achievement and satisfaction. If you have a high performance machine, though, use it responsibly and in understanding. It is important to discard false humility. Always remember: humility isn’t denying the power you have, but admitting it came THROUGH you, not FROM you.

If you are given something great, then He expects great praise. Accept the fine machine you have, properly time it with excellent education, and break it in carefully with experience by not running too fast too soon. Select the fuel and lubricant best suited to your purpose.

Beware the leanness of soul by operating on cheap fuel. If you feel this, check the pump from which you are getting your gas. It may be mislabeled. Warning: don’t run too long on ego alone – it is dangerous stuff!

Think about: 1) How careful am I about the fuels and lubricants I am using in my machine? 2) How has ego negatively affected my effectiveness? 3) When do I feel like I am running “in the zone?”

Words of Wisdom: “Humility isn’t denying the power you have, but admitting it comes through you and not from you.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The reward for humility and fearing the Lord is riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 NET Bible)

Questions to Ask

Weekly Thought – June 13, 2017

Fred’s study of questions gave him an ability to spur conversations and to motivate others to action. A young man’s question: “Can I be a Christian and still be successful?” evoked a 39 page response from Fred. In typical fashion, he began the letter with a question: “Why do you want to get ahead?” This week’s thought is a short excerpt from his lengthy answer.

BWFLI is planning a conference for fall, 2018 bringing students together for an in-depth focus on mentoring, networking, and living out our faith. Please begin praying. Thank you.

Questions to Ask

As I seek to answer the questions you posed for me about being successful I keep asking myself “why does he want to get ahead?” Always remember: it is good to ask why before you ask how.

Behind every plan of action and every commitment of time and energy should be a solid philosophical base. So here is my question for you: “Why get ahead?” Climbing the mountain just because it is there isn’t a satisfactory reason. It is a platitude, but not an adequate motivation.

Do you want to get ahead because you have the unscratchable itch to win – to come in first – to have others look up to you – to gain respect? Do you want the things and positions money can buy? Believe me, it is unfortunate but true that in America position, prestige, and power can be bought.

Are you eager to get ahead to please your parents, impress your friends, or teachers? Do you feel God gives you talents and gifts for which you are responsible? (Think seriously about this one for it will have great bearing on the direction you take).

Your answers will have very little to do with how far you go. Are you surprised I say this? However, it will have a great deal to do with your mental and spiritual attitude as you go. Those closest to you will see, feel, and be affected most by this. Often when I am with friends who have become “successful” but unhappy, I feel they are living out the verse, “He gave them their desire, but sent leanness of soul.”

They are constantly irritated, never enjoying the fruits of success, and always moving on as if goaded by the spirit of their discontent. They are always coming to the truth, but never really finding the truth. There is no quiet center to their life; no eye of the storm in which they can lay down and sleep until the activity starts again. They have “quiet desperation” but long for “quiet adequacy.” They want a time of enjoying their options from their success.

Think about: 1) What makes me want to get ahead? 2) How clear am I on the gifts God has given me? 3) Who helps me keep my motivations worthy?

Words of Wisdom: “Always remember: it is better to ask why before asking how.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)

Too Predictable

Brenda’s Blog – June 6, 2017

“…havoc”

I typed an email to a friend using the word “wreaked.” Before I could even begin to type another word auto-correct added “havoc.” How predictable was I when even auto-correct fills in the spaces in my cliché-riddled email?
Why can auto-correct read my mind? Or is my mind so given to the hackneyed that I fall into one of their algorithms? Then why does it play such havoc with words I know I want to use yet it refuses time after time to leave it alone? How can it possibly think it knows what I am thinking?

Then I think of the comfort of predictability… knowing how a person will react, expecting a certain outcome, or moving confidently ahead. It takes energy to constantly be on the alert for a head fake. It is pleasant to have a certain degree of “I just know” in life.

I saw a shoe hack on Facebook yesterday giving clues on taping toes together to relieve the pressure on the balls of feet in order to wear shoes that were designed by a sadist. What is wrong with wearing footwear that actually feels good? What social faux pas do we commit when we don’t have to tape body parts together in order to reduce extreme pain? What is wrong with living life with a certain degree of predictability that allows ease of motion, socially and relationally?

Certainly, there is energy generated by the unexpected. Dad used to tell me “there’s nothing wrong with you that a little excitement won’t cure.” And I agree… to a point. Too much excitement, too much unpredictability, too much “where in the world is this going?” leaves me with blisters on my soul.

Okay, so the next time I type wreaked and auto-correct smartly pops in with “havoc” I will just smile and type over it with some other word – even though havoc is probably the best choice.

Older to Younger

Weekly Thought – June 6, 2017

Fred received regular calls and letters from those who valued his counsel. He never answered with pat phrases, clichés, or shallow answers. He carefully considered his answers. His responsibility to those who asked resulted in written material which still helps us.

Our BWFLI season wrapped up this Spring. Please pray for those who graduated, others who are seeking employment, and our school staff spending their summers preparing for next fall. Thank you for your consistent support. Your gifts of encouragement, financial resources, and team participation allow us to continue “stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.”

Older to Younger

(This is an excerpt from a letter written to a young businessman who asked Fred: “Can I be a Christian and still be a success?”)

I greatly appreciate your thoughtful letter. Your questions have been asked by business majors in more than 25 colleges and universities where I have lectured. They are important – and can be answered. I want to give you my thinking. I want it to be helpful.

Certainly I’ve seen individuals without integrity get promoted into high corporate positions and others get immensely rich using questionable methods. Yet, as long as corporate success and wealth have been reached by men who have not exchanged their souls, there is no conflict. You must understand the way of integrity and accept the price.

I believe in working for success much more than praying for it. Pray for maturity; work for success. My mentor, Maxey Jarman told me: “If a thing needs doing, it can be done honestly. If it can’t be done honestly, then it doesn’t really need doing.” Often dishonest methods are simply a shortcut to what could be proper goals. If the goals are honest, then the means and methods can also be honest. I hardly believe there could be proper goals with no proper means for reaching them with full satisfaction.

Let me illustrate: There is a choice of ways to get into a ball game. The proper way is to buy a ticket. You can then relax, and enjoy the game with your integrity intact. However, another way is to climb the fence or crash the gate. Some prefer the anxiety of this way. It is a “something for nothing” – and some believe it is the same with quick, though questionable, steps to sudden success. Both see the game, but there is a big difference. One pays their way with dollars; the other pays their way with their character.

As we begin our discussion of success, let’s be clear that success isn’t defined by wealth. The important principle “Success is using your talents and gifts to their highest advantage and contribution.” I often say it this way: “Success is the ratio between talents given and talents used.” Money may come with this, or it may not.

Think about: 1) What lesson am I learning from a mentor? 2) Who is benefiting from my life experiences? 3) When have I sacrificed my character for short-term gain?

Words of Wisdom: “I hardly believe there could be proper goals with no proper means for reaching them with full satisfaction.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who conducts himself in integrity will live securely, but the one who behaves perversely will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9 NET Bible)

Use and Abuse of Humor

Weekly Thought – May 30, 2017

Fred’s humor was definitely a hallmark of his personality, and his speaking. In his later years when he was bed-bound he fought through insomnia by recalling “punch lines” and then telling himself the joke. He had a mental list of over 200. His respect for humor and for audiences kept him from taking “cheap shots.” But his love of word-play and puns left him open to groans from those who didn’t appreciate the fine art form.

Use and Abuse of Humor

For years I’ve studied the serious use of humor. I once asked Malcolm Muggeridge f there had ever been a book written about it. He said, “Yes – I know of two and they are both dreary because the authors had no sense of humor.” In my experience, most books about humor end up being joke books, and not discussing the theory, practice, and meaning of humor.

We all recognize humor as a relief from hostility and rising tempers. Humor can be the softest of soft answers. It can be a coagulating agent for diverse groups in an audience. It is often used to give a psychological break when sustained thinking becomes tiring. I have noted times when a speaker’s remark received a much greater laugh than you would expect just because the audience wanted to laugh and wanted a break.

There are many misuses, as well. I’ll mention only three.

1) The person who borrows a story and tells it as if it happened to them. Since most people in the audience have likely heard the story many times before from many different speakers, such a technique decreases the effect of the story and impinges on the integrity of the speaker. For example, how many people have told you about the dead cat found outside the back door at the same time the tuna casserole prepared and served to guests was consumed by the feline? It would be a strange coincidence for it to happen throughout the country, but it is told over and over as a “first person experience.”

2) Using too much humor causes listeners to just wait for the next laugh and ignore the serious parts of the talk. Laughs are expected and appreciated – sometimes more than substantive remarks. But this shows disrespect for the audience, unless it is billed as stand-up comedy. We have too often dumbed down our presentations and merely gone for entertainment. When we are booked as a speaker with a message, stringing together a series of jokes isn’t honest.

3) Our humor should be theologically correct and clean. I find those who profess faith in Jesus Christ, but joke about hell or immorality of doubtful character. As Christians we should certainly have joy, but we shouldn’t promote an attitude of wanton foolishness. Dirty jokes get laughs, but leave a bad taste.

Humor should illustrate a principle, not just be decorative. The more we can see humor in the human situations, the more they serve as excellent sources of content. One of the purposes I talk about frequently is that of being a social lubricant. It can oil the gears of conversation and ease tensions.

And of course, it keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. We can foster a healthy perspective when we can laugh.

This week think about: 1) What makes me laugh? 2) How disciplined am I about what makes me laugh? 3) When do I allow myself to laugh to release tension?

Words of Wisdom: “Humor can be the softest of soft answers.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with gladness.” (Job 8:21 NET Bible)

Typology of Gifting

Weekly Thought – May 23, 2017

Fred’s practical approach gave him an objectivity that helped many. He rarely got caught up in seeing something from one vantage point – he liked to consider all angles. And, he didn’t make judgments about decisions (unless they were clearly un-Biblical or downright stupid!) His ability to look at giving through a neutral eye made him an excellent counselor.

Would you all pray for BWFLI as we begin our new initiative: the “What’s Next” conference in 2018 and the “What’s Next Roundtables”… both will explore mentoring, networking, and everyday living faith in depth.

Typology of Gifting

When I look at gifts I try to break them down into categories. Sitting on boards and being close to ministries has given me ample opportunity for this research. Money and ministry are inextricably tied together – often to the dismay of all concerned.

Giving is more than turning over ownership of an asset.

1) Gift as gift. The purest gift is the one that is anonymous. We know about the gift, but the giver is held in anonymity. We think of these not just in amount, but in motive. The classical Biblical example is the widow who quietly gave without throwing the coins into the metal container with pomp and noise. I find that it is sometimes easier to donate smaller amounts anonymously rather than the larger. My friend and mentor Maxey Jarman told of a fundraising dinner which gave people the opportunity to stand up and make open pledges. He said one gentleman stood up, introduced himself, his wife, named his business, gave its location, and then loudly proclaimed they were giving $5000 anonymously!

2) Purchase posing as a gift. In this situation the giver buys recognition or social position. I know of an extremely successful fundraiser who hosts a club for like-minded donors. The catch: You have to give $10,000 each year to belong to the club. I think it would be more accurate to think of this as an expense, rather than a gift. Being known as a member of this club sets one above others. The price of admission really isn’t about giving. Another friend promised a ministry $20million in stock, but kept ownership in order to vote the stock and control the corporation. Ironically, by the time his gift was received by the ministry the value had dropped from $50/share to $1.

3) Attention. This may be crass, but I know people who have discovered the power of being a potential major donor. They receive all the benefits and privileges of those who give but without actually donating. Sadly, too many organizations are afraid to offend such people with “great giving capacity” and treat them with deference.

4) Investment. Donors often speak of their giving in terms of ROI (return on investment). Kingdom work is often difficult to put through a metrics and measurements exercise. Do not misunderstand me. I want ministries to operate with the absolute best practices, for that is excellent stewardship. But there is an element to God’s work that doesn’t fit into a neat formula. I once asked a friend to give to a struggling minister doing excellent, but small, work in the inner city. He quickly informed me he didn’t give to small things. He gave only to those who had the capacity to change the entire system, not just a piece of it.

The philosophy of giving to get back is an example of investment thinking. The human multiplier effect fails when applied to God’s work. He does give an increase, but not because we have manipulated Him.

This week think about: 1) Where is my heart (and my head) when I give? 2) Who can I talk with about proper giving? 3) How can I be helpful to ministries as they think about money?

Words of Wisdom: “Kingdom work is often difficult to put through a metrics and measurements exercise.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be careful not to display your righteousness merely to be seen by people. Otherwise you have no reward with your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 6:1 NET Bible)

Perspective

Brenda’s Blog – May 23, 2017

“End Road Work”

When you drive over 4000 miles in a month you spend much time looking at billboards and reading signs. A friend recently posted a query on Facebook about the kind of person who protests repairing potholes. “Why do they want to end road work?”

I laughed because the states of Illinois and Tennessee are bounded by either “Begin Road Work” or “End Road Work” signs. After awhile I literally wanted all of it to end!

My precious daughter in law has a well-deserved reputation as a non-fiction editor. She gave me a classic book on grammar for writers: “Eats, Shoots, & Leaves.” The positioning of commas and ampersands is critical to proper understanding. The notation in the zoo about the koala bear usually reads “eats shoots and leaves.” A world of difference!

The mispositioning of intent often creates more than a funny book title. When we assume we know why people behave in a certain way, we can make snap judgments. Then in a totally logical way (to us), we follow that path to discerning intent. There are broken relationships which are the outcome of a misconstrued word or casual action. We can forget where the relationship commas and ampersands go!

Another humorous road sign was the billboard featuring an attractive 20-something woman hugging a pig (or hog… I am a city girl, so I don’t know the difference). The text read: “Friends, not Food.” It was placed next to the exit to an extensive farm which undoubtedly supported the “Pork is the Other White Meat” philosophy. I already have more people than could possibly be considered authentic friendship. I do not need an anonymous pig. In my mind, the purpose of domestically raised livestock is for feeding all those others Facebook identifies as my friends.

Ride the road with me someday and we will find a world of philosophical discussions to be had – even without the Burma Shave signs! And keep a proper perspective as you roll.

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