Words To Live By

Weekly Thought – April 29, 2025

Fred especially appreciated a prayer written by William Barclay. In teaching and writing he broke down the phrases and drilled down into their application. This week features his thinking on the opening address.

Words To Live By

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our leisure, pleasure; in our study, wisdom; and in our love, loyalty.” I was so impressed with the balance of life he described that I easily memorized it. Through the years I have repeated it to myself many times and twice I have taught it as a Sunday School lesson. The first time I only taught the four requests. Later, I realized that I had missed the significance of the three opening words.

“Lord” – One of the major theological questions today is whether Christ can be Savior without being Lord. George Gallup did a survey among the “born again” and found that only 10 percent considered their faith in daily decision making. He wrote a book entitled “The Saints Among Us” indicating that 90 percent of us are nominal Christians.

“Grant” – This reminds us that all good and perfect gift come from above. We have no demands on God, only requests. Again, the Bible tells u that we have nothing but what we have received of God.” (See 1 Corinthians 4:7).

“Us” – This reminds us that Christianity is a community a Body, a family. It is not just an individual experience. It is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself. It is like the redwood that grows in a cluster of four with the roots supporting each other.

Gert Behanna was born and raised in the old Waldorf Astoria amid amazing wealth. After spending much of her life wedded to a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, she came to Christ. When she prayed “Our Father” for the first time she realized she was part of a family. She gave most of her wealth to needy Christians whom she considered brothers and sisters.

“Lord, grant us” is a triad of infinite significance.

This week carefully consider: 1) Which word am I going to dwell on this week? 2) When do I experience being part of the family of God? 3) How can I be an influence for Christian maturity?

Words of Wisdom: “Christian community is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For who concedes you any superiority? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you received it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (1 Corinthians 4:7 NET Bible)

Lasting Words

Brenda’s Blog – April 22, 2025

Devon Booker plays for the Phoenix Suns. When he was 18 years old he left college and went into the NBA draft as the youngest professional basketball player. He studied Kobe Bryant, even mastering one of Bryant’s signature moves. He chose well when he looked to the seasoned star.

He tells the story of asking for KB’s signature on his shoes. “Be legendary” was the message written on them with the famous player’s signature. That has become a lifetime message, especially after the tragic helicopter death of Bryant.

Perhaps we aren’t top draft choices, G.O.A.T. level performers, or known throughout the world for our wealth, but several points jump out: 1) Play to your strengths; 2) Choose a mentor wisely; 3) Understand the cost of excellence; 4) Appreciate the joy of accomplishment; 5) Set bigger and bigger goals.

What would you want to hear from your mentor? What are you saying to those who come to you for “life lessons?”

The influence of others on us and ours on them is too often discounted. Think of the time words of encouragement enabled you to take that next difficult step. Consider a quick moment when your smile at a check-out counter may have brightened a tough day. What we say can have lasting impact – even beyond lifetimes.

The book of Proverbs tells us an apt word is like “apples of gold in settings of silver.” High value, wouldn’t you agree?

Victory Through Vision

Weekly Thought – April 22, 2025

Fred sat on numerous business and ministry boards. His gifts of discernment, connecting dots, and maximizing operations enabled him to contribute to the development of numerous organizations. Vision building is a critical element of any institutional infrastructure.

Victory Through Vision

David Rockefeller was once quoted as saying, “The number one function of the top executive is to establish the purpose of the organization. Like the hub of the wheel, everything else grows out of this priority. “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (See Proverbs 29:18) The New American Standard Bible focuses on the way they perish: “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained.” To be restrained, and to be concentrated on purpose, is essential to accomplishment. That is why the leader must define the “why” of the organization.

A leader must personally the vision and be dedicated to it personally. As they seek to maintain the vision, leaders must keep in mind these essentials:

1. Define the vision specifically. Leaders disperse the fog.
2. Express it so other people understand it. Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.
3. Get both organizational and personal acceptance of the vision. Nodding heads without knowing hearts keep the motor idling.
4. Repeat the purpose over and over. The Old Testament patriarchs set up stones of remembrance to remind the people of their story. (See Joshua 4:5.7, My wife, Mary Alice, always sent the children out the door with the following: ‘Remember who you are, where you’re from, and what you represent.” She kept their purpose “ever before them.”

When you have a clear vision, you view everything in its light. A vision is a filter and a grid through which all activity flows. You come to see the need for a vision broad enough that everything you do can be tied to it. The focused vision will both include and exclude. Despite the work it takes to craft an effective vision, it is a far better alternative to perishing.

This week carefully consider: 1) How aware am I of the vision statements of leading businesses or ministries? 2) What would a family vision statement be? 3) Who has a good approach to vision casting?

Words of Wisdom: “To be restrained, and to be concentrated on purpose, is essential to accomplishment.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but the one who keeps the law, blessed is he!” (Proverbs 29:18 NET Bible)

The Art of Criticism

Weekly Thought – April 15, 2025

Fred respected those who corrected motivated by the desire for others to improve. The proper environment for criticism is an observation to help potential develop. He once offered a review of a musician’s performance with these words, “I know you want to be the best…” After which he commented on the strengths and weaknesses of the concert.

The Art of Criticism

Keep criticism positive. Recently, I tried to analyze the reasons for criticism. Three were negative and one positive.

1) We are passing the buck on a self-grudge. If before 10:00 in the morning I have been critical of everybody and everyone, I must stop and ask, “Fred, what is wrong with you? What are you mad at yourself about?” Generally, I have to go and make a call to somebody with an apology. My environment won’t straighten out until I quit being mad at myself and make it right.

2) We are trying to show superior knowledge. How often does someone show you a great idea and you respond enthusiastically until you suddenly say to yourself, “I can’t be too complimentary because he may feel he is as smart as I am.” So you say, “Joe this is a great idea, but…” Many “yes, buts” come from the desire to show your own superior knowledge or experience.

3) We are responding to performance that hasn’t made the grade. Those who start well, but don’t make the A-List usually become critics. You can’t put a failed executive back into the ranks – he/she will become a naysayer and negative influence.

4) We are desiring the other person to improve through our help. We can point out something he or she might not see. It is done quietly and kindly. Positive correction/criticism is not done in public, or even within earshot of others. Too often the negative models are expressed in front of as many as possible to the embarrassment of one and the poor judgement of the other. True, strong positive criticism is specific, and directly clearly toward the area that needs work for the sake of improvement.

The motive of positive criticism sets it apart from any of the negative forms. It is important to point out emotional stability is the foundation for the competent use of the positive and a quality every capable leader must have.

This week think about: 1) How do I react when I recognize a critical attitude in myself? 2) When is the best time for me to handle situations needing correction? 3) What are the triggers for my critical attitude?

Words of Wisdom: “Many “yes, buts” come from the desire to show your own superior knowledge or experience.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Speech that heals is like a life-giving tree, but a perverse speech breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4 NET Bible)

Finishing Well

Brenda’s Blog – April 8, 2025

“Several Old Testament characters lived too long.” Dr. Donald Campbell, President of Dallas Theological Seminary from 1986-1994 surprised the audience with these words. Clearly Dr. Campbell firmly believed our days are numbered by God, but his message was about living out those days with wisdom.

As he spoke I thought about words my Dad offered to a men’s retreat: “Guys, don’t make a junkyard of your old age.” That should have evoked a laugh, but these mid-life high achievers listened attentively as he described the pitfalls ahead. During the intervening years several men in that group traveled the road successfully while others sadly made a trash heap of family, work, and faith community.

“You have had every opportunity to get mixed up with all kinds of stuff during high school. What made you choose otherwise?” This question to one of my grandsons brought an answer I will never forget. “Gram, I set goals and I knew what I needed to do to achieve them. Partying and running around might be fun for just awhile, but then it could disqualify me for the things I wanted the most so I chose not to.” I was stunned – and deeply moved. How grateful to know he learned early the principle of wise living.

We have the privilege of living out our allotted time to bless others, grow in mind and spirit, and serve the Lord. I am now into my “octogenarian season.” The threats to finishing well still abound, but with God’s strength and courage I will not be one who lived too long. I encourage you to know the joy of living in wisdom and truth.

The Glory of Grace

Weekly Thought – April 8, 2025

Fred appreciated and applied grace generously. In his last days he made phone calls from his hospital bed to several lifelong friends. He spoke briefly to each one; he frequently would respond to their gracious words with “thank you, but remember, I am just a sinner saved by grace.”

The Glory of Grace

Grace was genuine, real, personal, and palpable to the great saints. Brother Lawrence, Frank Laubach, Francois Fenelon- these men never doubted they were the constant recipients of God’s amazing grace. Grace was a practical part of their everyday lives.

For example, Brother Lawrence said that when he made a mistake he didn’t spend any time thinking about it – he confessed it and moved on. Before I read that, I had been trapped by guilt… after all immediate grace was too good to be true. Brother Lawrence’s experience greatly released me.

Nevertheless, legalism appeals to our common sense and reasoning. I find it necessary to remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my sin and guilt lets me know God’s grace. By refusing grace we play God, creating a disciplinary system by and for ourselves. We view events as punishment. We anticipate correction and interpret it to fit our penal model. We fail to see that actions have consequences and we may just be experiencing the natural results, not a divine penalty.

Why do we do this? Usually because we feel we deserve judgment rather than grace. Grace brings freedom. If we could only follow Brother Lawrence by confessing, receiving His freedom, and moving on “gracefully.” Since grace cannot be deserved why should I feel others are worthy of its gift, but not I? Or why should I ever feel they are not worthy when I am?

Thinking we can be mature in Christ apart from grace is nothing more than foolish immaturity.

The Bible tells me we should not think too highly of ourselves, but it doesn’t advocate “worm thinking,” either. We are objects of grace; grace is a faith gift coming from and through the Father of light.

My great friend Steve Brown once told me his friend Jack Miller summed up the Christian message: “Cheer up, you’re a lot worse than you think you are; and Cheer up, God’s grace is a lot bigger than you think it is.”

This week think carefully consider: 1) When did grace become real for me? 2) How quickly do I show grace to others? 3) Who needs to know grace is God’s gift?

Words of Wisdom: “Grace was a practical part of their everyday lives.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Grace be with you all. “ (Hebrews 13:25 NET Bible)

The Balanced Life

Weekly Thought – April 1, 2025

Fred asked a question during a men’s retreat which spoke to their thinking on balanced living. “Are you driving with a distinct vibration in your operating system? Time control was of key interest to these attendees. Here are several illustrations from Fred.

The Balanced Life

Oftentimes I see people whose lives are simply out of balance. Years ago I was driving my 280ZX (proof of teenage residue) when suddenly I lost a balance on the right front wheel. Here was my dilemma: I could drive at 45mph or less and be stable, or go 65 and shake myself to pieces. This is the picture I have when I see so many people who definitely cannot go more than 45 without shaking and yet they are determined to go into career traffic traveling at 65 mph. If they could only stop, or knew to stop and get the little balance on the life wheel fixed they could be back all on the road. If you are balanced for 45 but insist on 65, you have to get a repair.

A recurring theme among leaders is getting back to the “simple life,” which usually comes down to the allocation of time. I laugh when people tell me they didn’t have time to attend their company’s time control seminar. I find many fail to understand the proper use of time and the value of delegation. Often mistake-prone clutter is illustrative of those who misunderstand the concept of leadership, particular talents, and the nature of building an effective team. Being the leader who is known as the “hardest worker” and the one who turns off the lights at night has tragically missed the point of leadership. Knowing our strengths and focusing on them is critical.

My philosophy has been: Do what only I can do and delegate the rest. I focus on my strengths and move everything else to the periphery.
So much is written about “the balanced life.” Reducing stress sells lots of books. An authentic life must have tension. If a living plant didn’t have the pressure of capillary action nutrients would never move from the roots to the leaves. One of my favorite books is Stress Without Distress. Balance doesn’t mean living life in neutral. Nor does balance mean all areas of life have equivalent focus. It does mean the integration of the parts make a complete whole. Integration should result in healthy living.

This week think about: 1) How long has it been since I evaluated my strengths? 2) What does a balanced life signify to me? 3) Who is an excellent role model for time management?

Words of Wisdom: “If you are balanced for 45 but insist on 65, you have to get a repair.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But as for you, be strong and don’t get discouraged, for your work will be rewarded.” (2 Chronicles 15:7 NET Bible)

The Listening Leader

Weekly Thought – March 25, 2025

Fred developed an international reputation as a speaker, writer, management consultant, and board member. His gifting for thinking and communicating allowed him to “stretch others.” When asked about his wisdom he considered it a God-given talent, but pointed to listening and asking questions as two critical elements.

The Listening Leader

Every leader spends a good part of the day communicating with others. A great many books have been written on techniques of good communication, but the real problem is the spirit, not the technique. Attitude is often the barrier. Almost any two people who want to can talk together. Those who find difficulty communication find they are hindered by their desire to impress, not express.
The difference between a good team and a great one is motivation. Any organization with the ability to get to good can move to great with the proper motivation. And nothing motivates quite like effective communication.

Most leaders are adequate talkers, but inadequate listeners. The ability to listen creatively and positively depends on the leader’s ability to listen on four levels: 1) the meaning of the words 2) the choice of words 3) the sounds of the words and 4) the sight of the words. Most people listen negatively, which is simply keeping silent or reloading while the other person is reloading. Positive listening guides the talker both in the giving of facts and a display of emotions that permit the listener to evaluate on more than the surface level.

Listening can be apparent or latent. A key to latent listening is the ability to read body language. Gestures, eye movements, and physical positioning give clues which fill in conversational gaps. Our words can say one thing while our body responds in agreement or sending up red flags.

Communication is mistakenly confused with agreement. I often hear people say that all problems would be solved if we really heard and understood each other. Not so! In fact, if we really understood what the other one was truly saying, we might have increased disagreement. We talk around subjects in order to avoid points of disagreement. Hearing and understanding are critical to communication but not synonymous with agreement and concord.

This week think about: 1) How do I know I am being heard? 2) What enables me to truly hear others? 3) Who can help me develop my listening skills?

Words of Wisdom: “True communication is talking to express, not impress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Let the wise also hear and gain instruction, and let the discerning acquire guidance!” (Proverbs 1:6 NET Bible)

W.A.I.T.

Brenda’s Blog – March 25, 2025

A friend is a retired therapist specializing in couples counseling. He told me of an unnamed, unidentified clients who came regularly for counseling. She was the one with all the input, opinions, and ideas about what would make their marriage work. At one point she talked about being disappointed in social situations because people seemed to greet her, visit a moment, and then move away. She was puzzled. My friend gave her an acronym: W. A.I.T. to use in social situations, as well as marriage. “What do you mean?” He calmly replied, “When you are in a group and it feels awkward, stop and think WAIT… Why Am I Talking? More times than not, you probably have over talked your time and others uncomfortably move away.

My son Jeff carpooled in kindergarten with a darling, outgoing neighborhood girl. One day I was driving and she was talking and talking and talking. At one point she stopped momentarily and Jeff said, “What’s the matter? Did the batteries in your mouth run down?” Nearly fifty years later I still laugh when I think about that time.

Someone facetiously said we were created with two ears and one mouth because that is exactly the proportion we should use as we engage with others. Mastering the fine art of listening enables us to communicate with a highly developed interpersonal skill. Scripture reminds us: “Let those who have ears, hear.” And in hearing, let us understand. Then in understanding, we can help one another travel the path to maturity.

Victory Through Vision

Weekly Thought – March 18, 2025

Fred believed in the necessity of vision, mission, and purpose statements. He understood strong organizational leaders effectively initiated the importance of their being imbedded into the well-running business or ministry.

Victory Through Vision

Davd Rockefeller was once quoted: “The number one function of the top executive is to establish the purpose of the organization.” Like the hub of the wheel, everything else grows out of this priority. Until the vision is established, trouble is ahead. Scripture says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” The New American Standard Bible focuses on the way they perish. “Where there is no vision the people are unrestrained.” To be restrained is to be concentrated in purpose, is essential to accomplishment, and that is why the leader must define why the organization exists.

A leader must personify the vision and be dedicated to it personally. As they seek to maintain the vision, leaders must keep in mind these essentials:

1) Define the vision specifically. Leaders disperse the fog.
2) Express it so other people understand it. Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.
3) Get both organizational and personal acceptance of the vision. Nodding heads without knowing hearts keep the motors idling.
4) Repeat the purpose regularly and systematically. The Old Testament patriarchs set up stones of remembrance to remind the people of their story. Mary Alice always sent the children out the door saying: “Remember who you are, where you are from, and what you represent.” She kept the purpose “ever before them.” As they grew up and raised their own families, our daughter Brenda would remind her adult children “be a blessing.”

When you have a clear vision, you view every decision in its light. The vision is a filter and a grid through which all activity flows. It becomes the lens through which the entire operation is seen. The focus enables the leader to both include an exclude. Crafting a workable, sustainable vision can be time consuming, but its effective use is a far better alternative to perishing.

This week think about: 1) How clear is my ability to communicate my personal vision? 2) What am I able to see that inspires confidence in others? 3) Where can I help others craft effective vision statements?

Words of Wisdom: “Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will give them a single-minded purpose to live in a way that always shows respect for me. “ (Jeremiah 32:39 NET Bible)

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