Challenges and Disturbances

Weekly Thought – January 15, 2019

Fred’s ability to capture the essence of culture and his discernment about the nature of mankind gave him a timeless view of the world. This week’s post is truly solid gold as it is excerpted from a 1954 speech. In the talk he mused about the challenging conditions of the world, listing some disturbing contributions of his generations. Fred was 39 at the time of these observations.

Challenges and Disturbances

My generation has given to the new generation (editor’s note: new generation at that time comprised of those born 1927-1944):

1) Religion without conviction
2) Science without conscience
3) Kinsey without marriage
4) Excitement without achievement
5) Security without effort
6) Knowledge without wisdom
7) Nightmares instead of dreams
8) Techniques without principles
9) Precepts without examples
10) Freedom without responsibility
11) The present without promise
12) The future without fruition
13) Marching orders without marching songs
14) Education without motivation
15) Prosperity without peace
16) War without reason
17) Art without beauty
18) Brotherhood without Godhood
19) Songs without souls
20) Enterprise without enthusiasm
21) Fission without feeling
22) Fusions without faith

This week think about: 1) Nearly 60 years ago Fred saw these trends. What am I seeing and passing on to the next generations? 2) How clear am I on my challenges and contributions? 3) Who am I influencing in the next generations?

Words of Wisdom: “We are giving the new generation knowledge without wisdom.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And regard the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as also our dear brother Paul wrote to you, according to the wisdom given to him. (2 Peter 3:15 NET Bible)

Enough?

Weekly Thought – January 8, 2019

Fred considered personal growth a serious responsibility. His paraphrased life verse was Proverbs 18:16: “Take the gift God has given you, and use it, and you will stand before great men.” An evangelist gave this verse to Fred when he was a teenager, and it became a driving force.

This month our BWFLI team will be gathering at LeTourneau University in Longview, TX. Please pray for them as they begin conversations and create connections about their “What’s Next” decisions. 2019 will be a year for publishing. You and Your Network will be getting a facelift with new styling and additional bonus content. The What’s Next curriculum will be featured in a book sharing stories of people with their transition and change strategies.

Enough?

Adequacy is our ability to cope – no matter what the situation. Adequacy is both a fact and a feeling. A lot of people have the fact, but lack the feeling. Consequently, they go around with negative thoughts and fears. For example, when problem situations arise, they handle them capably, but don’t tap into the capacity to enjoy the feeling of adequacy. Therefore, they brush off the success and miss out on the complete experience of being adequate.

I know a young female executive who “leaks.” She handles difficulties easily, then moves on without taking even a moment to process the success. She seems incapable of retaining the feeling of doing well. Instead, she can recite a litany of misses while totally missing out on the feeling of success.

However, there is no reason to say that you are adequate when you are not. This is fantasy and will get you into a great deal of trouble. When your inadequacy is revealed, you will look like a fraud. But a legitimate feeling of accomplishment is important for it contains elements of hope, faith, confidence, and good past experiences.

The ability to think is far greater than the ability to store information. The willingness to act is more important than the data involved with processing the action. Too often we have all the information we need to make a good decision, but failure and subsequent inadequacy come in the inability to take action.

Adequacy is a combination of sufficient information matched with the skill and willingness to take appropriate action. And as we experience this pairing in our lives we gain the fact and feeling of adequacy. In Texas we have a fitting expression “fixin’ to.” To be truly adequate we need to move beyond that to doin’ it.

And for Christians, we know that the fundamental ingredient is the humility to know our gifts don’t come from us, but through us.

This week think of: 1) When do the fact and feeling of adequacy come together for me? 2) How can I hone my decision making skills? 3) Where are my areas of intended growth for 2019?

Words of Wisdom: “Adequacy is a combination of sufficient information matched with the skill and willingness to take appropriate action.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as if it were coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.” (2 Corinthians 3:5 NET Bible)

Room to Breathe

Brendas Blog – January 1, 2019

“I just replaced FOMO with JOMO.”

Those words caught my attention. Working with college students has given me a deeper understanding of the FOMO lifestyle. FOMO? Fear Of Missing Out. Interestingly, many of those we meet think this is a new phenomenon, specific to them. But we women of the “have it all” generation have walked this road.

We didn’t have lives “enhanced” by digital devices, but we had calendars, and day-timers which ruled. As a college student in the 60s. white space on my campus-themed organizer meant something was going on without me. Long before authors of the Experience Economy explained the success of Nordstroms and Starbucks, we embraced happenings, whether musical, political, spiritual – or all of the above. Being there and being seen was de rigueur.

Calendar pages have now flown by and that young woman has turned into a nearly 75 year old (who is still amazed at the mirror reflection of this oldish lady) who is being told missing out isn’t the end of life. Choosing wisely allows strength to be in the right place at the right time with the ability to engage and enjoy.

So, when I heard the observation about FOMO’s being replaced by JOMO, I immediately connected. JOMO? Joy Of Missing Out. Instead of focusing on the art of saying no, I can now look at all the opportunities, putting some (more and more) into the JOMO bucket. Just saying no isn’t enough. There must be a sense of knowing when and why – and then rejoicing.

Running breathlessly, filling in calendars, making appearances, and wondering where the time goes turns us into a tangle of experiences with no central theme.

I laughed at JOMO, but then realized how thankful I am for a way to describe this season. I may miss a dinner or two, certainly the latest movie, and maybe even the most current book, but it will give me time to show up for coffee with friends, trips with grandchildren, and weekend refreshments without jamming them into a schedule full of “need to go” rather than “want to go.”

Find your JOMO!

Optimistic New Year

Weekly Thought – January 1, 2019

Fred lived as a realist, but chose to see the richness in the days to come. When he and Mary Alice married in 1937 they committed to each other that “the best is yet to be.” They went through very lean financial years, but throughout they stood together acknowledging the will of God in their lives. In 2006 he wrote these words as thoughts on the year to come. They are a personal reflection. They seem appropriate as we enter 2019.

BWFLI anticipates our campus event at LeTourneau University during January. Our team will speak truth, bring hope, and engage students. Your ongoing support is greatly appreciated.

Optimistic New Year

I am optimistic about 2006. Not only that it will be a year of blessings in the form of opportunities, but also that my health will remain stabilized. The website (breakfastwithfred.com) continues t grow and be useful. The Saturday morning open house (Fred in the Bed) is the bright spot of every week. We have formed a real community of friends. Two notes are typical of this group. One said, “I have a lot of problems which I leave at Brenda’s front door. I come empty and leave full.” Another said, “When I started coming I only faith to get me to heaven, but now I want to serve the Lord.”

I also am looking forward to teaching Zig Ziglar’s class as well as the many telephone conversations with friends (old and new) during the week. I am enjoying the optimism of usefulness.

A friend sent me some research done by Dr. Martin Seligman, past President of the American Psychological Society. The report was done on the effect of optimism on health. He found it was the dominant factor over a long period of time. To me, the chief element of optimism is faith… not faith in optimism, but faith in the Lord who gives us the right to be optimistic.

Dr. Seligman has authored an interesting and helpful book on optimism showing that it is an attitude that can be learned. There is quite a difference in Pollyanna-ism and genuine optimism. True optimists see the negative but don’t fear them for they feel adequate to the challenge. False optimism is more denial than recognition.

An attitude of optimism not only makes life for the individual but also for those associated with him/her. I have found visitors who come to see me appreciate the positive environment we have created and look forward to returning.

I am credited with hundreds of one-liners. One of my favorites and one I certainly find helpful in this stage of life: “Never lose the good of a bad experience.” If I anticipate usefulness, maturity, and contribution in immobility, dialysis, and other physical ailments, then I am finding the good.

This week carefully consider: 1) What does optimism mean to me? 2) What am I excited about for 2019? 3) How am I communicating a healthy, positive attitude to others?

Words of Wisdom: “To me, the chief element of optimism is faith… not faith in optimism, but faith in the Lord who gives us the right to be optimistic.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And you will be secure, because there is hope; you will be protected and will take your rest in safety. “ (Job 11:18 NET Bible)

My Personal Creed

Weekly Thought – December 25, 2018

Fred knew the power of organizing his thoughts through writing. He regularly quoted Francis Bacon: “Reading makes a full man, conversation a ready man, and writing an exact man.” This week you will share in a very private reading – “Fred’s Credo.”

May this day on which we celebrate the Incarnation bring blessing, clarity, and peace. And may you grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

My Personal Creed

My purpose: To determine what I will become knowing I will become the sum of my choices, and my decisions. To that end I will:

1) Respect truth by searching for it and accepting it from any source.
2) Look for the essence of matters as the elegance of life.
3) Endeavor to pray honestly about any subject, assuming God already knows.
4) Expect nothing but what I earn, but accept gifts gratefully.
5) Own myself. Thereby I can contribute my uniqueness to life. I will concentrate on my uniqueness rather than what I like to do, or what pays the most. If my uniqueness is lost, then there has been no compelling reason for my having lived. I will have failed to contribute my place to life’s jigsaw puzzle.
6) Limit extensive self-knowledge to my most productive strengths and destructive weaknesses.
7) Construct concepts for my thinking and actions so as to minimize large mistakes and give consistency to my living.
8) Relax in the sovereignty of God.
9) Decide issues of life by faith based on Biblical authority.
10) Respect money as a tool, never an idol.
11) Endeavor to accept my rightful responsibility because it is right not necessarily because I like it.
12) Realize my acts affect others and have ripple effects.
13) Accept human imperfection as a reality, but never an excuse.
14) See profitable and interesting experiences in areas of life that will continually broaden me.
15) Turn all experiences into knowledge and knowledge into wisdom.
16) Live so that the best is yet to be by attending to maturity, health, relationships, and capital.

I Will Not:

1) Build an unreal image which enslaves me or alienates me from others.
2) Make a junkyard of my old age through bad decisions.
3) Sacrifice self-respect, health, family, relationship with God for business success.

This week think about: 1) What is my personal creed? 2) Which of Fred’s points penetrated my heart? 3) Which one needs my attention?

Words of Wisdom: “I will become the sum of my choices, and my decisions.”

Wisdom from the Word: “That you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding so that you may walk in a manner of the Lord.” (Colossians 1:9, 10 NET Bible)

Fact or Fantasy

Weekly Thought – December 18, 2018

Fred held a firm grasp on reality. His theological foundation created a basis for his thinking in all areas. Although he was not one to quote “chapter and verse,” his understanding of scripture strongly influenced his thinking and speaking. The nature of man was fundamental to his view of life. These thoughts from the late 1990s are current for today.

BWFLI is founded on the premise of God’s principles which never change. As Fred said, “the principles never change, just the illustrations.” BWF is nearly 15 years old and the campus events just completed 10 years. Over that time the truth of God’s word is the banner under which we operate. Thanks for supporting us year by year.

Fact or Fantasy

No matter how beautifully or reasonably a situation is defined, it is no more than fantasy if not based on truth. I am particularly impressed at this time with all the politicians vying for the presidency. They are telling us of the panacea they will bring to the office and the country. They list all the major problems and say with a bold gesture and big smile, “Elect me and I will make them all go away.” They tell us of all the solutions which will appear once they are in office.

They have made one big miscalculation: they have the wrong concept of human nature.

Humanity is flawed and cannot be perfected by governmental programs. Welfare, however well intentioned will create perpetual dependence unless it requires individual responsibility.

Once I fortuitously had breakfast with the well-known commentator David Susskind the morning after he debated Bill Buckley, who cut him to ribbons. But throughout Susskind maintained a gracious spirit, I opened up the breakfast by telling him I admired his attitude even through I held conservative political views. Being totally aware of his intellectual capabilities, and respectful of him, I asked, “How does a man with such intellect and learned as you take your political position?”

He replied, “In order to be a liberal you must first believe in the basic goodness of man.”

I told him his explanation allowed me to totally understand his political position. “Your statement makes your liberalism patently clear.” I went on to tell him I believed in the doctrine of man’s original sin. He said, “That is a horrible thought.” Then I asked, “Is that a thought or a fact?” Sometimes in order to control a subject we will misname it.

I further told him if I believed in the fundamental goodness of mankind I would give free education, total freedom, and financial aid. But if humanity is basically sinful and we provide privileges without responsibilities we could create monsters. I feel a great many of our programs fail because we do not understand the sin nature of humanity.

The imperfectability of humanity is a fact. Programs built on the basic goodness of mankind is built on fantasy.

This week think about: 1) How clear am I on my view of the nature of mankind? 2) What difference does my belief system make in the way I live? 3) Where do I see this tension affecting public policy?

Words of Wisdom: “I feel a great many of our programs fail because we do not understand the sin nature of humanity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Just as it is written: ‘There is no one righteous, not even one.’” (Romans 3:10 NET Bible)

Topsy-Turvy Theology

Brenda’s Blog – December 18, 2018

“What we think about when we think about God is the most important thing about us” A. W. Tozer

Each year the Christian community feels the tension between “Keep-Christ-In-Christmas” and the cacophony of holiday sounds. We try to walk the fine line between religious devotion and social emotion. This is not a harangue about Christians who celebrate a winter celebration. I give gifts to my family, but I also try to clarify my thinking, not allowing the person and work of God get pulled along in the stream of red and green.

As I look at our culture I see commercial syncretism. Seasonal greetings mesh into selling sprees. What should be our mindset and message? Who is the God of Christmas?

My younger grandsons spend hours playing with their LEGOs, the building blocks which entertain and now even create engineering solutions for physical therapy. TV ads promote these colorful bricks day after day as the perfect solution for grandchild satisfaction. “These will make happy faces on Christmas morning!”

I started thinking about what we think about when we think of God during this season. Shouldn’t our focus be on LOGOS? He became the building blocks for our salvation. Are we exchanging the true message of God’s becoming flesh – the Word incarnate LOGOS for the all-time favorite LEGOs?

Several years ago the desire to express the supremacy of Christ resulted in manger scenes with a jolly old Saint Nicholas bowing to the Christ child. The preeminence of the bearded, red and white attired character made me wonder. Is this the way we send the message of who Jesus is? Is this oversized storybook image towering over a tiny baby the rightful way to think about Bethlehem?
As we sing our songs are we replacing Hosanna! For Ho-Santa?

What we think about when we think about God truly is the most important thing about us. When we allow LEGOs to supersede the LOGOS and when our happy voices spend more time greeting each other with Ho-Ho-Ho, we are dimming our thinking. Recognizing the secular season is alright, but let’s not allow the time we allocate to the tinkle over the Trinity define how we spend these weeks.

Character Building

Weekly Thought – December 11, 2018

Fred’s mentor, Maxey Jarman, influenced him profoundly. He established a relationship with “Mr. Jarman” while in his twenties by seeking him out. The lessons learned and the friendship developed continued until Maxey Jarman’s death in 1979. One of the strongest elements each pursued was character.

BWFLI focuses on “stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.” Emphasizing the importance of character as foundational for maturity is critical to each campus visit. Keep on praying for students, faculty, staff, and administrators at this high pressure time of year.

Character Building

I have often wondered about the real motivation for character building. There are surely multiple answers and I am not ready to settle on just one. But I do know character building is like any other aspect of personal development. It starts with the genuine desire to have the real thing, not just the image of it. Too often we have the appearance, but not the reality. We see in others, and in ourselves, a hyped up version of character, but not the authenticity. Anxiety and secrecy are the price we pay for this hypocrisy.

One motivation I saw in my own mentor, Maxey Jarman, was scriptural obedience. A critical point is that this discipline is not just to the scripture, but to the Lord of the scripture. There is a subtle, but important, difference. Because Maxey saw the Bible as the inerrant, inspired word of God and not just ancient wisdom works, he knew he had no right to consider it a static document open to human interpretation. He treated it as the living Word understood through the dynamic work of the Spirit. It was not literature it was Logos.

When I think about my mentor and character I find it difficult to accurately express all the lessons he taught. Words are so wooden sometimes.

The idea of character is frequently equated with obedience. But I make a distinction between behavior and motivation. The maturely obedient and the self-righteous exhibit the same outward actions, but the inward motivations can be polar opposites. Ultimately, the attitudes differ and even the outcomes can take different directions.

Legalists become the master of the law in its application and the servant in its fulfillment. The law becomes the god while appearing to serve God. Consequently, they miss.

Character development includes a spirit of belief which is part of the act of belief. Therefore, it follows if one is to use scriptural obedience for character building one must be a student of the Word. If our nation is losing its character as many fear, I sincerely believe it must be partly due to a lessening of scriptural knowledge, study, and respect.

This week consider: 1) How disciplined am I in my scriptural obedience? 2) What can I contribute to maturity in my own environment? 3) Who is influencing my thinking and my own character?

Words of Wisdom: “The maturely obedient and the self-righteous exhibit the same outward actions, but the inward motivations can be polar opposites.”

Wisdom from the Word: “An honorable man makes honorable plans; his honorable character gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 NET Bible)

Persevering

Brenda’s Blog – December 4, 2018

“I’ve never met a strong person with an easy past.”

Facebook is replete with requests for love and support in the holiday season. The more celebrations gear up, the more anxiety rises. The brighter the celebration glows, the gloomier the sense of loss becomes. “I don’t know how I will get through the first year.” “I will be all alone this year.” Similar sentiments pop up as we scroll post after post.

Then we look beneath the surface of life stories and realize one principle: struggle strengthens; perseverance promotes growth. Yes, there were (and probably always will be) holidays with emotional stings. There will be a sense of loss, whether human or canine, as empty places remind us of holidays past. There will be a sadness as life in the new normal emerges.

But then we start using the pain to encourage another who enters into grief. We use the lessons learned during suffering to comfort another as they step into the process. We come along side one who is experiencing the crush of loss thinking they won’t survive to show them they will make it.

We see the sweet pictures of tiny trees shooting up through solid rock; we see flowers budding through city sidewalks – and know we are reminded to persevere… to break through the suffering and blossom. It isn’t always this poetic, is it? Sometimes the rock seems too hard and the concrete too solid. But God makes a way to trust Him in the darkness. He takes the jack hammer of grace and turns the rock of pain into the Rock of our salvation.

Those who never exercise their faith muscles end up with flabby abs. Those who seek a life with no trials are often an inch deep, with no ability to relate or connect.

So, in this season of dazzling lights, unrealistic expectations, and severe disappointments, let’s use the lumps and bumps to grow fabulous musculature… strong, tested, and true. Pain exists, but maturing into someone useful to others is worth the hurt.

Spiritual Light and Cultural Issues

Weekly Thought – December 4, 2018

Fred consistently applied Biblical principles to current situations. His ability to update his facts, keep current, and understand fundamental rules of life allowed him to constantly contribute to social conversations.

The year of 2018 is taking its final breaths, but oh, what an outstanding period for BWFLI. We created What’s Next Roundtable events for five Christian colleges and universities in Kentucky, Illinois, and Texas. We engaged students in deeper thinking about mentoring, networking, and persevering. Thank you for your support. We would certainly appreciate being included in your year-end giving.

Spiritual Light and Cultural Issues

I have been listening to an increasing number of secular panels discussing the major issues of our time and society. Everything from growing cynicism, disputes about authority, losing respect in the global community, child pornography supported by internet use, alcoholism, and drug abuse. After a few hours of these conversations my physical immobility pales in comparison to the values paralysis in our secular environment.

I have not heard any sure answers to any of the problems. Most of the participants have PhD degrees, but demonstrate a marked deficiency in the understanding of man’s nature. There is rarely, if any, mentions of spiritual solutions. And those that are given are not Biblical. These highly educated men and women seem determined to have strictly human answers for human problems.

For example, the discussion on drug abuse included a minister, a counselor, a psychologist, and an educator. For over 30 minutes they reviewed and rehearsed their wish list for solutions. None of them was convincing to me. As soon as they opened the microphone in the audience a young man said, “I have been in every jail in this area for drug abuse. The last time I said, “there must be a better way.” I went to a church looking for answers and found the love of Christ which changed my life. My addiction was cured.”

If the panel really wanted an apt answer, a workable answer, they would have questioned the young man, but the almost embarrassed facilitator simply said, “Next question or comment.” Their dismissal of his testimony indicated to me their complete misunderstanding of true solutions. They wanted a social construct, not a spiritual conversion.

I am convinced many of our experts are humanists, not willing to accept spiritual (Biblical) answers. Likewise, I believe there are two sources of knowledge: 1) humanism and 2) Biblical revelation. The humanist can be well-informed but only the person who has been infused with spiritual revelation can have more than knowledge – they can have true wisdom. That, to me, is the Christian advantage for providing answers to the problems of today’s society.

Our problems can not be solved by human intelligence alone. True solutions will come through spiritual revelation.

This week think about: 1) What problems in my community needs a spiritual solution? 2) How can spiritual revelation become real in my life, my work, my family? 3) Who can help me become wise as I seek to provide solutions?

Words of Wisdom: “They wanted a social construct, not a spiritual conversion.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7 ESV)

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