Gather Around the Vision

Weekly Thought – December 8, 2020

Fred appreciated men and women of vision. He said, “one of a leader’s functions is to coagulate followers around the vision, not around himself or herself.” At this time when planning is being assessed and evaluated, Fred’s thoughts are helpful.

COVID directly impacted the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. However, the ripples from years past still demonstrate the effects. The Weekly Thoughts have continued without interruption. In an email we received this week, the influence of the Weekly Thoughts was mentioned: “I truly feel like one of the students that you have graciously mentored through BWFLI. The October 27th weekly thought spoke directly to my heart as I’m processing my transition.” These weekly emails are nearly 16 years in production. May the gifts God gave to Fred continue to be shared as they seek to stretch and bless.

Gather Around the Vision

Genuine leadership gathers people around the purpose of the organization. Toward that end, leaders need to recognize several subtle dynamics.

1) Decisions are not commitments. The first is immediate; the second is the long term working out. For example, in evangelism we see a lot of decisions. It is right to talk about a response to the Gospel and an “on the spot” decision. The commitment comes as part of the maturing process. If a person or an organization never moves from decision to commitment operations look much like New Year’s Resolutions – with a similar outcome. The leader is to envision a way to move from decision to commitment. I have observed that this process needs both the spoken and written forms. Speakers are effective at bringing people to a decision point, but generally it takes the written word to bring people to a long lasting commitment. Wise leaders know when they get a decision (even a group decision) that isn’t equivalent to commitment. A tragic managerial mistake is assuming the first step is enough without securing the second.

2) Recognize the “driving wheels.” There is a difference between people who provide the momentum in a group and those who just go along for the ride. Wise leaders know if they get the driving wheels committed, they can bring the others along. A bumpy ride is ahead for organizations who miss this step. The best way to persuade the driving wheels is not with emotion, but comprehension. My good friend, Jack Turpin, first discussed this with me. He had no lasting respect for short term excellence. “Anybody who can reach excellence should try to sustain it.” He believed the only way people will perform excellently over the long term is if they fully comprehend what they are doing. A decision based on emotional fervor won’t last; a fully comprehended commitment will. The way to motivate the driving wheels is to ask, “Do you agree this is something worth doing? If so, let’s commit to doing it together.”

3) Know when it is time to change the vision. Leaders know that situations don’t stay the same forever. We see this in the church as we study demographic trends. For a local church to maintain its vitality and often its viability, it must look at the makeup of the congregation. To assume a static position on means and methods can result in loss. Sadly, many have lost the promise of future leadership by ignoring shifts and alienating younger congregants. It is critical to measure the vision and see if it is getting the desired results. Churchill is famous for saying, “never, never, never, never give up.” But it is just as important to know that “when the horse is dead, dismount.”

Leaders must be honest about the vision, the effort required, and the reasons for expending it. Lasting motivation is really persuasion by comprehension. If you have to hide the reasons you want a person or an organization to follow, you are probably manipulating and unlikely to find long term commitment or sustained excellence.

This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I communicate my personal and professional visions? 2) What am I doing to be certain I don’t use manipulation? 3) Where do I need to focus as I anticipate next year?

Words of Wisdom: “Wise leaders know when they get a decision (even a group decision) that isn’t equivalent to commitment.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Commit your future to the LORD. Trust in him, and he will act on your behalf.” (Psalm 37:5 NET Bible)

Question Me This

Weekly Thought – December 1, 2020

Fred’s reputation for asking questions developed a strong following among those who wanted to acquire this skill. In various situations he formulated a series of questions he asked himself and others. This excerpt specifically addresses a way to look at difficult times.

Question Me This

Major trouble challenges our priorities. It also revises, and I might even say, purifies. We decide what really matters. Trouble also gives us an opportunity to look at the situation realistically and assess the odds. A friend, when faced with leukemia said, “I had always believed in God but for most of my life I couldn’t make sense of spiritual things, so I chose to just ignore the subject. I knew I would have to deal with my personal spirituality someday, but I wasn’t in any hurry to get around to it. Cancer changed that.” Often we see people who say, “After I get rich, I’ll get righteous.” This is the deception of money: it can distract us from what really matters. Instead of being a means – it becomes the end. Trouble can alter that perception in a hurry.

Major difficulties make us distill the essence of life in at least three basic ways spurring us to ask three questions:

1) What are my genuine necessities? So much of our time and effort is spent (or wasted)on the superficialities of life.
2) We ask ourselves “who am I becoming.” I once asked a man if he is becoming who he wanted to be. His answer: “Oh, no, but I intend to – someday.”
3) How do I want to be remembered? We see wealthy donors who want names on buildings; politicians who desire an historical legacy; and parents who want children who walk in faith. I am reminded of Fannie Crosby, the blind hymnist who wrote thousands of well-known and loved hymns. Her tombstone carries the simple epitaph: “Aunt Fannie: she did what she could.”

When we have answered these three questions we know how to spend out time, energy, and resources. The answers build a framework for prioritizing (and often re-prioritizing). We are stewards of our gifts and talents. Good management requires periodic assessment to make sure we are making the “highest and best” use of them.

At the beginning of the dark financial days of the 1980s a socially prominent couple came to see me. They told of sitting down and making a list of people with whom they spent time. Then they went back and made a second list of those who would be their friends if they went broke. This list was considerably shorter than the first. They went on to say they rearranged their social schedule to spend time with the second group.

Troubled times clarify. They prompt us to do a personal inventory and answer tough, but important questions.

This week carefully consider: 1) What am I learning during this challenging time? 2) Which question most quickly gets my attention? 3) How am I taking a personal inventory right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Major difficulties make us distill the essence of life spurring us to ask questions.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)

Keeping Up Appearances

Brenda’s Blog – December 1, 2020

In 1990 a British comedy debuted on public television. It gathered an immediate audience who faithfully watches the reruns to this day.

One episode features Hyacinth conversing with her husband Richard as they await the arrival of the new Vicar and his wife. She bemoaned the fact that her roses didn’t climb as high as her social aspirations.

The dialogue has a great spiritual application:

Hyacinth: “Why are my roses not as large as the ones next door?”

Richard: “They’re a different variety, Hyacinth”

Hyacinth: “I don’t like our roses not being as big as those next door. I wanted the Vicar to be greeted by a blaze of petal glory. Are you neglecting them?”

Richard: “This variety only grows to this size.”

Hyacinth: “I am sure if you tried harder…”

The Spirit of God endows us all with gifts to be nurtured, pruned, and used to bless others. Sadly, we, like Hyacinth, look over the spiritual bushes and yearn for the seemingly larger gifts of others. We want to make a splash in the Christian world – we want to be seen as a blaze of petal glory.

But we grow according to our plan and our variety. The smaller roses of Richard’s garden fit perfectly into the limited space of their English garden. The proportion suited the situation. Likewise, we are perfectly designed to “bloom where we are planted” as the needlepoint pillows and kitchen wall plaques remind us.

God didn’t intend for us to try harder to be something we aren’t. He didn’t us to criticize or demean. He created us for a clear purpose and equipped us to bring His beauty and blessing with the aroma of His love and goodness.

Let’s not be staring across the hedge wanting to be someone else. Let’s thankfully blossom with the greatness of God and the benefits of His kindness. Let’s give up trying harder and focus on the perfection of the gifts He has chosen for us.

Evidences of an Educated Heart

Weekly Thought – November 24, 2020

Fred dedicated his life to learning – and encouraging others to grow. Before it was a popular phrase, Fred exemplified the “lifelong learner.” He believed part of the answer of God’s purpose for our lives is identifying where we hunger for deeper understanding.

Evidences of an Educated Heart

One evidence of an educated heart is the realization of self-worth. I like to hear a Christian say, “I feel good about myself.” Understanding the difference between self-worth and self-esteem is critical. We can appreciate who we are because we are given gifts by God.

A friend of mine who is a professor at a Catholic university told me “true dignity happens when genuine pride and genuine humility unite.” We in the evangelical community think of pride and humility as being antonyms when actually they are two sides of the same coin. Don’t you feel you can be justly proud of being a child of God – a member of the family.

A wealthy business friend in Boston with his wife invited a young girl living on the streets to move in with them for a year. Each night after dinner he would repeat the catechism he developed for her. “Why does God love you?” She would answer “Not because I am good but because I am precious.” Then he asked, “Why are you precious?” “Because Christ died for me” was the response. I told that story to an audience in East Texas. Afterwards a small woman in her 80s came up and said, “Thank you. All my life I wanted to be precious and now I know I am.”

You unite that pride with genuine humility and you have a truly educated heart. I like to define humility as “not denying the power you have but admitting it comes through you and not from you.” Denying the gift is lying; attributing it to God is truth telling. Some people think they are showing humility by bad-mouthing themselves. That is disrespecting God. In this we dignify what God has given.

Another evidence of an educated heart is a homing sense. That is, a sense for home. Just as the homing pigeon never loses their direction the educated heart never loses the sense of the Father’s house and our spiritual home. It is too easy to get lost chasing the dollar, or fame, or even service. Christians will be brought back through the homing instinct built into us by the Spirit.

I once met a CEO who talked about climbing the corporate ladder and putting his faith aside as not applicable to his business life. As he made decisions he started to see a relationship between the good decisions and the “old time religious principles” he learned growing up. He told me he finally made the decision to “come home” and realign himself with his faith.

An educated heart understands that he or she may have tremendous success, piloting bigger and bigger ships in larger and larger waters. But the largest vessel still bows to the instruction of the lighthouse. Never neglect the lighthouse in your harbor which marks your way home.

This week carefully consider: 1) How clear am I on my God-given gifts? 2) What reminds me that I am precious to God? 3) How strong is my homing instinct?

Words of Wisdom: “Humility is not denying the power you have, but admitting it comes through you and not from you.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not let mercy and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” (Proverbs 3:3 NET Bible)

The God of Process

Weekly Thought – November 17. 2020

Fred worked hard all his life. He grew up in the home of a Baptist preacher in the mill district of North Nashville. He understood the relationship between effort and results. He didn’t live asking for miracles to “fill in the gaps” created by the wish ethic. He believed strongly in the work ethic.

The God of Process

I’m disturbed by the number of people who talk about God as a miracle worker. I believe in the miracles of the Bible. I believe that He is capable of miracles today. But I do not believe the majority of His work is done miraculously. All that He does have wonder and awe; but I am leery of those that use miracle I the sense of “I am special.” I have encountered young people who are eager to tell me they’ve had two miracles in the morning and are looking for another in the afternoon. Spiritual immaturity.

On the other hand, we have those who believe that everything can be done by devotion alone. By that I mean a verse of scripture and a rote prayer substitute for hard work. I believe in devotion; I practice devotion. Too often those who espouse this formulaic mindset come up to me with a very pious tone to tell me, “Brother Fred if you are in trouble, read Job. Tell me and I will put you on my prayer list.” I am thankful to be on prayer lists, but I don’t believe in this simplistic approach. I believe problems need to be analyzed and answers found. A sad example is my good friend whose “devotional” wife took away his medication needed for a serious stomach ailment telling him he just needed to pray more. I don’t believe God works that way.

The danger of making everything miracle based is that it is egocentric. Too many who lean on devotion are actually operating from denial and escapism. I am convinced they are looking for the product while ignoring the process.
Here are a few principles I find for process thinking:

1) We are positioned in grace, through faith; we share the glory of God by His gift.
2) We are to rejoice in sufferings for trials and many times fiery trials) will come. We don’t rejoice in anticipation, but in participation. Paul rejoiced as he shared in the sufferings of Jesus.
3) Suffering brings endurance. My Mother, who brought five boys out of the slums would say at family devotional time: “Be not weary in well doing, for in due season you shall reap if you faint not.” She was tired. She was doing constant work, even in ill health. But she was determined to bring the boys out of the slums. Let me say to you mothers: she paid a price for that, but even in today’s affluent (especially in today’s materialistic culture) you are paying a price to raise Godly children, as well. Endurance is not measured by a balance sheet.
4) Character comes from endurance. I didn’t say personality, but character. God isn’t interested in building sparkling personas but in conforming our inner core to that of His Son.
5) Hope is a quality that permits my friend Steve Brown to say as he hangs up our frequent phone calls: “Hang tough; hang in there, babe.”
6) The ultimate object of hope is the unconditional love of God.

His process moves us from grace through faith to His unconditional love – not a bad way to invest our lives!

This week think carefully about: 1) How often do I slack on the effort and then expect a miracle? 2) How clearly do I understand the passage from salvation to glorification? 3) What excites me right now about being a Christian?

Words of Wisdom: “The problem with miracle-based thinking is that it is egocentric.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Colossians 6:9 NET Bible)

Now You See Me – Now You Don’t

Brenda’s Blog – November 17, 2020

“Put on your mask – they won’t let you in without it.”

These words of admonition were mine as I dropped my 22 year old grandson off for his doctor’s appointment. Quite a normal instruction, isn’t it?

As I reread Steve Brown’s classic “Three Free Sins” he talked about the masks we wear. BOOM! My words to Andrew came spinning back into my mind. Culture is now reinforcing one of the governing principles of social interaction: we wear masks.

“How are you?” “Fine,” we automatically answer through the mask we wear. “How are the kids doing?” “Great,” we eagerly respond speaking through the mask which hides emotional hurt and concern.

I was in sales management for years. One of the standard training clichés was “fake it ‘til you make it.” Well, I often thought as I worked to develop success strategies “what if they never make it? Do they go on faking it?” I fear so.
A disturbed young woman recently said to me, “I am so tired of smiling, and being funny just to fit in – just to be accepted. I am just worn out.” Her mask was making marks on her soul.

We knew when mask wearing became “de rigueur” the marketing departments wouldn’t settle for generic, faux medical face coverings. It wasn’t long before bedazzled, sequined models arrived. Or, graphics which depicted gnarly expressions. Or, how about the “Jesus loves you” versions which serve to evangelize while hiding us? Aren’t we the same way? We don’t settle for simple versions but develop sophisticated strategies for distracting others from seeing us.

Interestingly enough, our eyes are still visible. My sweet Mom used to judge my well-being (and my moral integrity) by looking into my eyes. There were times I dreaded the all-knowing stare from my very perceptive parent. I laugh now as I remember her assessment of my physical health with just this one phrase “Your eyes look weak.” The masks still allow that peek into our souls, don’t they?

As we obediently don the coverings which make us socially acceptable may we refuse to hide who we are as beloved children of God. May we look into the eyes of others, see and love the imago dei.

Promoting Spiritual Growth

Weekly Thought – November 10, 2020

Fred believed in maturity and the growth process. He thought and wrote often about personal and spiritual development. He lightly regarded any systems which were “overnight success stories.” Faith, as other aspects of his life, was grounded in principles.

Promoting Spiritual Growth

Several years ago a friend was in deep trouble, even facing bankruptcy. He asked a pastor friend to pray for him. Before praying, the pastor said, “I will pray if you will promise me you won’t be mad at God even if you go bankrupt.” My friend told me that was the beginning of his serious spiritual growth.

Not only should we avoid being mad at God during adverse times, but we should also avoid the “spoiled brat” syndrome expecting God to protect us from the normal problems of life. Wanting God to make exceptions for us is immature.

A top executive came to me during a business downturn saying, “Why me? I have been a good Christian. I don’t drink, smoke, or chase women.” I don’t think those behaviors define “good Christian.” A more mature attitude would be “why not me?” We can’t expect a pass from human troubles.

It is important to develop a right image of God. Lecturing at a conservative seminary one of the students approached me and said, “Mr. Smith, God has me right where he wants me.” “Where is that?” “Broke,” was his answer. “My wife and I have a son. Do you think that is the way we want him to think about me as his father?” This improper view of God hampered his spiritual development. Ray Stedman said his life turned around when he found out “God is for me.”

Another key element of spiritual growth is a proper concept of how God works. God’s plan for us is conforming and transforming us. He has a purpose and is not an absentee landlord.

Phil Yancey, in his book Disappointment with God, writes of questions people often ask “Is the Father listening to me?” “Can He be trusted?” “Does He even exist?” I am convinced God is not afraid of these questions. Too many Christians believe they have to protect God. His integrity is worthy of every challenge. Learning to appreciate God’s silence is part of promoting our growth. Oftentimes in the depths we feel like God is silent, not giving us clear direction. God’s delays are not God’s denials. True faith does not require sight and sound productions of Hollywood proportions. Oswald Chambers says “God honors us with His silence.” Faith is an act, not just a theological concept.

The deep-rooted answers come through the struggle. He is serious about our growth so we shouldn’t be surprised at the process.

This week seriously consider: 1) How am I doing in my spiritual development? 2) What is He working on in me right now? 3) When He is silent, how do I respond?

Words of Wisdom: “Wanting God to make exceptions for us is immature.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So that you may live worthily of the Lord and please him in all respects – bearing fruit in every good deed, growing in the knowledge of God.” (Colossians 1:10 NET Bible)

Family Traits

Brenda’s Blog – November 3, 2020

“Just for a moment you looked like Grandmother.”

My son, daughter in law, and I sat on the deck beside a Minnesota lake eating lunch and thoroughly enjoy the beautiful Fall. As I chatted with my DIL my son watched the interaction then responded with his comment.

I received it with appreciation and gratitude for my Mom was a woman of kindness, and love. I hoped he was seeing that in my face. She encouraged others to grow, wanting them to be who God designed them to be. She prayed for us through the tough times and celebrated the victories.

Amy Grant sang of wanting others to see “Her Father’s Eyes” in her. She wanted people to see the love of God which sought to share compassion, encouragement, and support. She wanted others to know she desired to see the world through her Father’s eyes.

I once met a man who played the role of Jesus in his church’s annual Easter pageant. “The more my hair grew, and the longer my beard became, the greater the change occurred in my personality. I found myself thinking differently and wanting to be more like Jesus the more I looked like Him. It was an uncanny experience.”

Who do you want people to see as they look at you? Whose patterns have imprinted you and influence your decisions? What choices are you making that will one day be reflected in your face?

May our faces reflect wisdom, peace, and inspiration. May we show in our faces compassion and love reaching out to strengthen others. And may our faces smile because we are people of joy!

Honesty with God

Weekly Thought – November 3, 2020

Fred prayed diligently all his life. A permanent imprint on the “Smith kids” was made walking past the bedroom and seeing their strong Dad on his knees by the bed. Mary Alice had a private prayer list which she kept next to the bed on the nightstand. They faithfully prayed. This week features a few thoughts of his on prayer.

Honesty with God

In prayer we can get honest. One night a good friend and I were in a scattershooting conversation, covering a variety of topics. Prayer came up and he offered his opinion that it is a waste of time to try to get God to fill a “gimme list.” He seriously doubted the mature faith of those who were always plying God with requests. I tried to redirect his thinking. I believe prayer is more for us than it is for God. I did this by saying prayer was always a great help to me in getting honest when I wanted to be genuinely truthful.

Above my writing desk I hung the picture of a Jewish scholar whom I consider the greatest intellectual integrity of almost anyone I have ever met. As I would write I would glance up at his picture ask evaluate my honesty. I think of prayer much like that. If I believe God hears me, is who He claims to be, and is all-knowing, I must be honest when I talk with Him.

I have made it a practice when considering a business deal to spread it out on my desk and talk to God about it exactly like I talk to another person. No great lights go on, but I do get a sense of singlemindedness, purity of thought, and a stillness of heart when I know I am gut-level honest.

Of course there is a flip side. When I don’t want to be that open, I don’t lay it out on the desk acting like God won’t know. We can’t hide from God. Intellectual integrity reminds me God knows whether I show it to Him or not. For me it is so much better to be honest before Him.

This principle applies to relationships, too, whether family, friendships, or social interactions. Questions in all of these areas can be brought to a very honest conclusion if we learn to use prayer. We must train ourselves to “put it all out on the table” and talk about it with God.

Too many people still use a ritualistic form of prayer which keeps them from having a good, honest conversation with God. I will never forget when I first heard about conversational prayer. I was with Torrey Johnson, who established Youth For Christ. We had been talking and as we prepared to leave he said, “Let’s pray.” He started out by saying, “Lord, you know we’re just a couple of young men here who have been chewing the rag.” At this point I opened up one eye, literally, and looked around because I knew he was talking to somebody and wondered if that person was in the room. I also wondered if the roof would cave in if I ever talked to God like that. I learned to pray in Olde English!

But it is hard to have a completely relaxed, honest conversation with God trying to remember all my Thee and Thou phrases.
At a men’s meeting one participant stood to pray and started, “God, this is Joe. Remember me? I met you last week at the Jones’s house.” THAT is setting the stage for an honest conversation.

This week think about: 1) How often do I try to hide from God? 2) What do I have laying out on the table before God right now? 3) Who needs encouragement in practicing “gut level honest” prayer?

Words of Wisdom: “We must train ourselves to “put it all on the table” and talk about it with God.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He commanded them: “Carry out your duties with respect for the LORD, with honesty, and with pure motives.” (2 Chronicles 19:9 NET Bible)

Between Here and Eternity

Weekly Thought – October 27, 2020

Fred built deep, lasting friendships. His commitment to loyalty and confidentiality allowed his friends the freedom to know he was trustworthy and true. These words were delivered to the Elliott Class of the Highland Park Presbyterian Church at the death of his dear friend Jim Smith, who was not a blood relative, but a certain brother in Christ and beloved teacher of the class.

Between Here and Eternity

Yesterday afternoon Jim asked me to come over so he could say goodbye. We sat, held hands, laughed, prayed, talked, and just kept quiet together. Two or three times he said, “This is a blessed time.” It was a time when we blessed each other, recalling the many years of friendship and experiences we had shared. He spoke of his surprise at not going into remission. He firmly believed it would happen. But then in true faith style he said, “It’s all right. Let God’s will be done.” There was no despair, only peace and assurance.

I asked him what it would be like to die without the Lord. “Sheer terror” was his answer.

He told me how much he appreciated the friends who paid off the mortgage on the family home. What a wonderful way to use wealth. That blessing went both ways: to the family and to the giver.

After I left him I sat with the family. They could see I had been crying and they gathered around me, held my hand, and put their arms around me for support. We all stood there upholding each other.

On his mind, also, was this class. I am convinced this class was Jim’s finest work. It was closest to his heart. Year after year we talked together about the class and never once did I ever hear him say, “my class.” It was always “the class.” He knew he didn’t own it; it owned him. The class wasn’t part of his ego, but part of his love. This class is a living memorial to Jim.

A sociological study defined great men and women by the strength of their ideas, how far it reaches, and how influential it is in the lives of others after their death. Jim will never completely die so long as we continue in what he has taught us. When my mentor, Maxey Jarman, died people asked me how I felt and I said, “Maxey will never be dead as long as I’m alive because I am carrying out the things he taught me.”

Once, sitting in the lobby of the Gibson Hotel in Cincinnati, I overheard two writers, one younger, the other older, talking to each other. The younger asked the older, “If you had your life to live over, what would you do?” Without hesitation, the older woman replied, “If I had my life to live over I’d find a cause big enough to give myself to.” Jim had no regrets for having given himself to this class.

As I talked to Jim I realized that he was submitting to the Spirit, not giving up. The act of submission is an act of the will, an act of worship. It is a victory, not a defeat. He crosses from earth to heaven knowing he fulfilled his work and finishes well.

This week carefully consider: 1) Whose life is still going on through me? 2) What is my big cause? 3) How can I submit to the Spirit this week with joy?

Words of Wisdom: “The class wasn’t part of his ego, but part of his love.”

Wisdom from the Word: “My teaching will drop like the rain; my sayings will drip like the dew, as rain drops upon the grass, and showers upon new growth.” (Deuteronomy 32:2 NET Bible)

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